#it's fall back time in america so i watched the clock go from 1:50 am to 1:50 am a second time. i do this for q!bbh. goodnight everyone

[gooperts-gunk]

post-qsmp q!bbh's story so far...

back to back we have had new q!bbh story pieces, on mythcraft with lilithluvsya and as mr. x on arkanis, so im going to write down all of my own notes of what we have learned so far + my crazed theory talk :) this will be long!!! note: this is from the perspective of someone who doesn't know mythcraft lore and the only arkanis lore i know is from what i pick up in passing lol. i will do my best!!

starting with the halloween special on mythcraft with lilith and rurus in which bbh helps lilith solve a puzzle that leads to her finding and adopting a new child, we get to see an actual bbh summoning!! im unsure if the treats are a necessary offering or just a kind gesture, but the soulfire-esque flames or wisps seem to be a very specific detail...

the chant lilith says is "hear these words, hear my cry, spirit from the other side! come to me, i summon thee, cross now the great divide!" implying that if he's summoned, chances are, he was in the underworld or somewhere else. later on during technical difficulties, lilith mentions that "i don't even know the state of his soul at the moment! because usually whenever i summon a chant through those words," she repeats it, "his soul just acted a bit... weird! he usually doesn't act like that whenever i summon him. usually, the magic feels a bit more smooth, and it was very choppy this time. his soul just felt different from the last time i saw him. i can't put my finger on it." it's hard to say what exactly this means, (i've seen some people think it's about how he died with a split soul, he never got the other half back from purgatory as far as we know...) as we've never seen him be summoned before, but in this case, he just showed up on the chest crying out a confused "HELLO...?" but later on says "i could sense something was off, that's why im here." with his trickster confidence. he also mentions he's "been around, doing my thing. im very busy," and no concrete answer is ever stated. another detail is that halloween is said by lilith to be "the veils between our world meet once a year," meaning as far as we know he can only be summoned on halloween.

when he accepts the treats and attempts to leave he says "im trying to get back home!" a place of residence for q!bbh is implied, whether or not it's one we know of or even if it's an actual house is uncertain. when bad comes across a haunted house he says "oh my gosh! i had a house like this once, only it was red." which might cross out the place of residence being on the island. might, considering the house was later changed because most people hated the red lol. when bad is downed from fall damage lilith comments "why are you so fragile?! you're not usually, like, this breakable." bbh says "oh, as soon as i die, i get to go back home, so..." since we know how !bbh deaths work, (he can only perma-die once from a unique death, e.g. the combination of soul vulture infection and nuke radiation slowly ate away until perma-killing that version of himself, which means it was an entirely unique instance of death. so it's safe to assume that ever since he had fallen, he would have perma-died from simple things like starvation, but then can no longer perma-die from it again, with a possible exception of if it's starvation along with something else at the same time) we know that him dying wouldn't be enough to bring him 'back home' if it's implied to be the underworld or the mind desert, therefore, it would mean that if he dies during a summoning that the connection is immediately broken and he's back to wherever he was at the time. he's sometimes even excited whenever he gets downed, even saying "take me! take me home!" either because 1. he just really wants to get home for some reason or 2. he just really doesn't want to work for lilith.

but, we know he doesn't HAVE to work for lilith, because lilith states at the end after he's left to fellow mythcraft member nex that, "you know how im a witch? ... WELL... a long, LONG time ago... i made a mistake with my magic and i MIGHT have summoned a greater demon who turned out to be a TRICKSTER demon instead and KINDA reversed the contract on me and NOW im stuck with him until i die and i have to do his bidding whenever he comes around, but only whenever i create the first kind of contract for him to flip around. and he kind of... is around, and changes rurus a lot, and i have to work to make sure that rurus can transform back into a human one day because they're stuck in their bunny form..." which is a LOT to digest and she said it all in like two breaths lol. so in reality lilith is stuck with bad, not bad being stuck with lilith, and bad could peace out whenever he wanted because it's trickster demon rules and on top of that he can also transform humans into bunnies??!!

going back to where my previous notes were, when they arrive at rurus' house and bad seeing a painting of himself with 5 cracked eggs around him, he exclaims, "what the fudge is that?! THAT'S CRAZY!! who's the monster who made this??" meanwhile lilith is oblivious to whatever this means. he also steals the painting. rurus shows up! (rurus says he smells like sulfur, which is definitely the 'demon smell' ak!bagi mentions once she has a moment to speak with him after the chaos) rurus mentions making the painting and it was likely a gag that bad wasn't supposed to see during the lore stream but it's there now LOL and bad repeats the same horror to them as they're oblivious too, "it's you blowing up the moon! all the moons that you've blown up?" "oh, yeah, im sure it's blowing up the moon!!" he says in angry sarcasm, and then sobs a little. "i had eggs once..." both lilith and rurus inquire, and lilith is the one to say "you became a father?" in myth!lilith's defense, the residents have a lot of adorable baby creatures they care for and might sooner assume the eggs in question are cute creatures LOL "well i just said i had eggs, so..." "oh, you hatched them?" "ohhh he HAD eggs- lawren, he- he hit menopause, he said something about that..." I HEEHEE'D. idc if it's just a goof and not entirely canon im keeping it in here.

later on, when the trio complete the puzzles and find a well-decorated baby ghost named willow inside a willow tree, bbh's behavior to willow is very endearing and also straight-forward, casually offering some steak that he stole from rurus' house. he finds the way out of the tree for them by hearing a raccoon's chitter, and lilith comments "you're really good at talking to raccoons for some reason..." and rurus pokes further with "did you have a special relationship with a raccoon?" "yeah i- i speak raccoon." this of course is brought up from the perspective of both of them knowing his lore out of character and wanting to poke fun, but it's also a fun coincidence that it was a raccoon, as raccoons are very special to pomme. it starts storming, and rurus tells bad to give willow his hood but alternatively gives willow his soul lantern instead since his hood is a "...non-removable item...".

when they bring willow back to lilith's house, he continues stealing like he has been since he was summoned, but this time he takes a cookie from a cookie jar and passes one to willow before taking one for himself. when willow thanks him and says she loves cookies, he gives her another and says "you can never have too many cookies!" which would immediately make you think of his kids and their cookies, dapper especially as they're a total cookie fiend. as willow settles in he teaches willow the first and only lesson he's given to her so far: "whenever someone invites you into their home, you get to take whatever you want!!" he goes upstairs and shows himself and willow around lilith's house, rurus mentions a gaming chair, of which was a toilet. bad takes it and says, "i know someone who would love this!" which of course would be richas' gaming set-up that had a toilet for a chair because of a prank, if i remember correctly.

bad asks where his room is, making an assumption that his summoning meant he was going to move in. when lilith says he could stay at rurus', REALLY not wanting him here, he says "i can't have a room at both??" like the greedy little man he is. <3 willow is then shown her own room, where bad then proceeds to place the furniture he stole from lilith into the room for her.

the birth certificate is revealed! willow is lilith's daughter, and bbh is her guardian demon. (many were unsure if he was a parent to willow but lilith clarified on twitter that he's a guardian demon that will show up from time to time) rurus inquires if HE scribbled his name there, and he says "no, no! that's crazy. that'd be ridiculous." in a bit of a liar voice.

when he accidentally picks up willow's sign, he courteously says "im sorry," and gives it back, prompting rurus to tell lilith she could just ask and he'd give her stuff back. when she does in a cutesy way, he dodges it entirely by saying "no hablo inglés" and when lilith demands for the furniture in spanish, he says "i don't speak spanish". i wouldn't call it entirely parental as willow's not his kid, but as you can tell bbh has shown far more care and respect to this child he just met than his contractors. the trickster has priorities!

they tuck willow into bed, and bbh falls asleep standing up, when lilith starts shoving him saying it's time to get him to bed, he wakes up suddenly, yelling "night terrors!! night terrors!!" we know he's gone long periods of time without sleeping, but he's having night terrors when he does...

bbh has technical issues, and during that time, rurus and lilith have a back and forth about him and their contract which is summarized in the bout with nex above. rurus says "you know, i used to be able to swear before i knew him, and now i can't." "huh! that's a weird incantation." this itself is likely a joke about their out of character friendship, but they come up with the idea that he might have a literal swear jar that he puts people's swears in, never to be said again lol.

lilith decides to keep the portal open as bad loses summoning connection to their world (aka technical difficulties) so he can visit whenever he likes to be a guardian demon for willow.

this wraps up the mythcraft section of new q!bbh pieces! onto arkanis!

a lot of people were unsure if mr. x would be q!bbh, but it becomes VERY clear based on how he acts with familiar faces, and some late night conversations...

not much to note when bad / mr. x greets fit, but there's a very silly familiarity when he says he'd like to take fit out to brunch right before talking about torturing him... yeah sure man why not O_O when fit asks if he's considered being GOOD and not murdering people, bad says "i considered it, but my therapist says i should embrace my hobbies. im trying to listen to my therapist more." so he at least had a therapist in recent times to tell him this, because on quesadilla island when asked about therapy, he mentioned something along the lines of that he tried therapy once, but he'd get chased out of town by people with pitchforks.

to briefly dissect the cutscene, from what i've learned, bad floating is a sign that he's powerful in valigma! only people with magic in valigma can float, examples being araldo when we get to see him later, and also bia raux who is also brought up to bad when telling him the current lore after the event. also. the manor. the banquet. i love you builders, it's so eggpire-coded. that man can't escape the aesthetic of red vines even if c!bbh tried LOL and another fun detail, he has ghosties/souls bursting around him! it's become integral to his character :)

when mr. x encounters the brazilians and his escaped captive fit, all the fantasminhas float around him! it's super cute that the grim reaper got little ghost sidekicks, and then doesn't even recognize that they're ghosts <3 he mostly called denix a gremlin or goblin, but that's because out of character he DEFINITELY knew who the admin was, that's why he bullied them so much and not the others lol.

even though he's having fun annoying everyone as mr x., bad still takes moments for the little ghosts, like spam crouching with amora when she creeps up to him, him and denix bonding by killing a penguin?? and playing songs on the flute and they all surround him and dance. :)

when the find the button room starts, and bad does his npc voice, bagi immediately starts yelling, knowing the "you got this! you can do it!" all too well, and bad keeps saying it in recognition. while it was already true that ak!bagi is a continuation of q!bagi, this interaction itself can be enough to assume that mr. x is q!bbh if he remembers it like she does. when it's revealed it's a find the button room, she's even MORE distressed, "are you responsible for this? please- please tell me you don't..." "i would never!" he says like a liar, and then maniacally laughs. bagi also frequently calls him "bad" and not mr. x unlike mostly everyone else, seeing through the silly alias.

one interesting detail is how hungry mr. x is for totems!! every once in a while he'll mention how he wants more totems popped, in the valigma cemetary / cemetario do valigma, he asks quel for how many totems they have, when they say a hundred, he says "passa tudo!" and drops mobs on them. he really wants totems for some reason!! does he absorb something from it or did he just really hate foolish that day? lol

once the event is over, bad and bagi get to talk! bad becomes uncle to amora, bagi's daughter. amora is immediately very sweet to bad! bagi catches bad up on what's going on in valigma, telling him about araldo and bia, and bagi thinks because he's a demon that he could help the specialists understand and handle the magic themselves, "you see those pink blocks glowing that way? they're like some of the magic powers that this land has, but we can't just touch it and start doing magic all the way through the town. so, basically, there's powers everywhere that we don't know how to use and those two entities fighting each other, they use different kinds of power. so maybe you, being a demon and stuff... maybe you can teach us how to handle this." which, upon mention of him being a demon, he deflects by admiring a streetlamp. bad didn't act this way with lilith and rurus because they were already aware he was a demon since they summoned him, but he never confirmed anything to bagi other than the vague vastness of his age and his immortality, if i remember correctly. which is more than he's confirmed to other people!

bad points out bagi's smoking, "you've taken up smoking, im guessing it's been really hard?" "yeah! yeah, no, that was because, the things i lived before, you know..." "yeah i understand..." "it caused me a lot of trouble." if im correct in assuming this is about the island and losing the kids... :( which bad then segues into asking if there's an ikea. LOL

when jvnq starts taking bad to pac's house to steal furniture, he says "oh wow! you guys are all nice and close together, i like this. yeah, i hate having to walk really far." knowing that q!bbh tried really hard to get people to live close by to him when he was dying so someone would take care of his kids recontextualizes this as living far away being a regret he still holds </3 (not to mention, cc!bad himself regrets building his bases so far away)

when pac says he'll give bad more muffins and furniture if he teaches him how to fly and such, bad deflects by saying "yeah! it's easy, you just got to... you got a- you got a nice view!" and looking at the black hole outside his house.

later on, when bad gets transported by araldo, they seem to get along nicely and araldo wants him to do MORE chaos at some point, which i believe is worrisome if it's true that araldo is the problem in the fight between araldo and bia raux... but also very fitting for him. meanwhile, sent back to his friends, he has only good things to say about him, and also inserted some of his silly lies. the entire interaction feels reminiscent of the times he'd talk about the 'eyeball guy with the snatched waist' aka the watcher, or even cucurucho to a certain degree LOL

when gabe takes bad to space, bad comments that it's a first for him! "the moon is just like i imagined it'd be..." congrats !bbh for having your first moon experience, at least, as far as you can remember!

meanwhile, transported to the mr. x manor, bad gives a dizzying tour to gabe, denix, and amora! he introduces the skeppy room when asked about his bedroom, mentioning he doesn't really need to sleep, and he instead meditates on top of the skeppy. (someone PLEASE feed this man dapper's special cake recipe) he also introduces his chair and i have no doubt that people have shown a comparison of his chair here vs. his chair in the hall of grim but i'll put it here anyways lol. he's also very consistent because the vod i went to to get a screenshot of his hall of grim chair is the near exact same "and this is my chair..." when he introduces it.

when bad, gabe, denix and amora are in the maze that the experts + fit went through to get to the cemetary, they stop at a corner to chat and gabe asks bad "changing the subject a little, if you had a son now what would his name be?" (possibly more gender neutral than the translator says, which is how bad interprets it,) this likely was on the mind because a bit earlier while exploring the manor, denix asked him to give him a second name or middle name and bad hadn't answered. bad stops to think about it, before prefacing "well, i- i've had kids over the years, a couple, but you're saying if i got a new kid, right? what would i name... him... probably... how do you say 'gremlin' in portuguese?" it's the same, but alternatively gabe offers "duende." meaning denix's second name is probably duende now LOL but more importantly, for the first time, at least directly tonight, q!bbh was reminded of his children. gabe contextualizes why he asked, "it's because in this city... anything can happen, you understand? one day you're single, and sad, and the next you have a family." "no, that's true... yeah. i- i understand what it's like, one day you just wake up and you got kids, i totally get it... and then everybody dies, and you're left alone." OOGH. EEYOWCH. we don't know for certain how long q!bbh has been living after escaping quesadilla island, or if even in the end cc!bad is planning that he escapes at all, he might still be bound to it. but however long it's been, he's been carrying onto the weight of everyone disappearing, with only strange creatures (the bunnies, the penguins, cucurucho...) to keep him company once everyone is gone. gabe inquires about if his family died, and he covers up with "oh, no, im just saying that's the inevitable. that's what happens, sorry." ...top 10 sentences that are more depressing when contextualized by an immortal demon with a heart too big for people to comprehend... :( something that bad misses here is denix asking if he wants to adopt amora, but this comes back around!

transported again, while gabe walks bad towards the boat the experts arrived on, he says "valigma keeps many mysteries and lots of trouble, right? fights, in this case many fights, problems, death, pain, suffering, and then we decide to have a child despite all these problems; how can this be, right? it's a weak point." bad says "yeah, love tends to lead to lots of problems..." which would be specifically commenting on taking care of children. and from the perspective of his current situation, being without them... yowch. :( then bad falls into a ravine, shoved by denix, and amora saves him. :) but when he fell he purposefully avoided landing in the water. :(

later on they go to the leaderboard! there amora offers that bad can adopt her for a while, since she's "kinda an orphan" based on the activity of her parents other than bagi, and he accepts :) though knowing he literally can't be active either lol. from then on, amora calls bad "dad" for the rest of the night, and "pai bad" the next day when talking with some of the experts :)

some more fun stops later, they pause in the gallery as gabe explains more of the araldo and bia beef, to which bad says once more to "wine and dine" araldo... if u want it done right, do it urself, geez... chat, beat this guy up for me... he has a weakness for guys with power... another moment in this stop to goof around, bad says "yeah, im really good at cooking... people. meals." which is normal q!bbh and the least surprising thing he's said or done all night.

the night slowly comes to a close, after running into guaxi for a small reunion, he says goodbye with a bang when denix kills him and he logs out. they then contain mr. x's corpse in a box of glass, preserved for memories <3

if this is what post-qsmp has been like for q!bbh so far, IM SO EXCITED FOR MORE!!! and yes i HAVE spent at least 5 hours writing notes as i vod review!!! q!bbh on arkanis felt a lot like a classic day on qsmp with his character plus some pain and suffering, and q!bbh on mythcraft gave us some extra lore bits to think about!!! very very fun, im sooo excited for whatever ending cc!bad has been wanting to make for q!bbh, because if it means he's still kicking it going around to other worlds, all of his pain in tow, IM SO READY!!! thank you if you went through everything here it was a doozy and mostly for yelling about with other people since i haven't been on tumblr for a while and i miss the screams from here. :)

[csykora]

hockey, a primer

Hockey is a quick game to start watching. Fundamentally there’s a goalie guarding the net, two defensive players guarding the goalie, and three offensive forwards attacking the other team’s net.

Unlike normal sports, hockey players break the rules a lot. Common infractions include smacking another player with your stick, pretending they smacked you with their stick, poking them in the dick with your stick when you are not on the ice, licking them (yes we need this rule) and tripping them. This happens every couple minutes, and the player is punished by having to sit alone for a couple minutes while the teams continue to play with an uneven number of players. 

This is called the man advantage, powerplay, or, regrettably, the PP for the team who didn’t do a crime, and the penalty kill for the guilty team. There aren’t a lot of set plays compared to something like football, and what strategy there is in the game depends on this. Listen closely and you will hear someone’s dad already screaming more information about special teams into your ear.

You do not need to know the names of the formations used in special teams. Just watch how the puck gets from one person to the next, or how it doesn’t, and you will start to see the important things.

Rosters

Each forward line has two wingers, who are expected to skate fast up and down the sides of the ice and take the most shots, and the center, who manages the middle, passing the puck between the others and directing them into the right series of positions so the puck can be bounced to where it needs to go: they’re the brains of the operation (with the goalie also using their unique view of the full rink to direct play by banging their stick and swearing at the players in front of them). 

Sometimes multiple players who usually play the center position are put out at the same time, with some of them taking up the wing position. This strategy is called a ‘two-’ or ‘three-headed monster’ in the NHL, because a ‘natural center’ is thought to be a smarter strategy player.

Defense is organized in pairs, so one person takes each side. Compared to forwards who mostly skate...you know...defenders have to be able to skate equally well going forwards and backwards, which requires a different skating stride. Their main goal is to isolate and disrupt the other team’s forwards, by positioning their bodies in the ‘passing lane’ between two opposing players so they can’t pass to each other or in the shooting lane in front of a player so they can’t shoot, or by knocking the opponent out of position.

Often you’ll see one defender will tend to “stay at home” guarding the net while the other swings out wide or follows the forwards into the other team’s zone as a second wave of offense. 

A team has enough to make three pairs of D and four lines of forwards, which are numbered. Flashy stars are expected to be in line 1 and 2 (the ‘top’), workmen in 3 and 4 (the ‘bottom six’), and by tradition the 4th line in particular are your rowdy boys who lay the most hits and start fights. Everyone knows those ranks are kind of imaginary, but players getting moved up or down the hierarchy gives us Drama. Hockey players mate for life, and usually play with the same D-partner or linemates, but they can also be swapped around into different combinations when the coach sees fit.

Structure

The NHL plays a bonkers number of games. Most years, the hockey season starts in the fall and grinds with games every other day or so through the winter until the players are all dehydrated and exhausted, at which point the playoffs start. The Stanley Cup playoffs are four rounds of best-of-seven elimination series, and it’s often described as the most intense championship in sports. This year, we’ve just wrapped up made-up qualifiers to pick the teams that will start the first round of the playoffs tomorrow.

Please follow a smarter blog than me for current updates on the North American women’s leagues. I am going to refer to the North American women’s game, but I’m not the best source on it.

The KHL and ZhWL play a slightly less bonkers number of games, but make up for it by being weird as shit and incorporate live music, even live-er pyrotechnics, and swords. You can buy access to games for about a cup of coffee.

The EIHL is in Britain, and I don’t know when they play but they do, so if you’re one of the British people who ask me this question, good luck

North America vs The World

International hockey is played on a larger and wider rink than North American hockey. More space means that passing accurately and skating efficiently become more important, and it’s statistically less likely that players will bump into each other, so hitting is less important than in North American men’s hockey. The greater width means that wingers in the Continental Hockey League (KHL) and other national leagues are expected to control a decent chunk of open ice, not just the lane along the boards, so they’re more like North American centers, running the “three-headed monster” play all the time.

When men’s Team Canada plays on international ice, they’re able to fill their roster with centers, bridging the two styles.

Overpassing

Overpassing is a buzzword used to critique both women’s hockey players and Russian men’s hockey players. In North American men’s hockey, there’s a principle that the person who carries the puck into the attacking zone should be the one to shoot it, or make at most one pass: passing back and forth in the offensive zone ‘wastes time’ and increases the risk that the defenders will intercept one of those passes and take possession.

But this is something Russian men’s players are actually taught to do. They are expected to be more accurate passers, so the risk of the pass being intercepted should be low anyway. Shooting is almost guaranteed to give up possession, after which the other team will have a chance to shoot and score on you…so why not keep passing it around we either have a perfect opening or we run down the clock?

Women’s hockey players are similarly good enough skaters (young girls often come into the sport with figure skating experience and they all receive a high level of skate training) and passers that they can hold possession. They are trained to be very aware of how their teammates are positioned, and so they will pass more in the zone.

Think of it like this: North American men think, “I gotta shoot the puck to score goals before the other guy smashes me and takes it and scores goals with it!”, women think, “I’ve got a 50/50 chance if I shoot, but my girl over there is 100%” and Russian men think, “Aw, you want this puck? You wanna shoot it and score goals with it? Okay…catch me first.”

More on different styles

the hockey puppy mill

In Canada, players go through a junior league system that has several tiers and leagues. At 16, they’re typically drafted into major juniors in the Canadian Hockey League, which has three branches, the Ontario Hockey League (“the O”), the Quebec Major Junior League (the Q), or the Western Hockey League. At that point they often move away from their family to ‘billet’ with a family who either work for the team or whose own son was drafted away to a different team.

Because players are paid stipends and players over 18 who have already signed with NHL teams are allowed to play in major juniors, this is considered a professional league, so they are not allowed to play NCAA sports after playing in major juniors. Others choose to play in Junior A (smaller than the CHL) to preserve their pro-virginity for college.

In the US, the United States Hockey League runs Tier I hockey. Players’ equipment expenses are covered and they are often billeted, but because they’re not directly paid, USHLers are allowed to play NCAA sports in college.

If a player is drafted by an NHL team at 18, they may choose to play in the NCAA while getting a degree, continue in juniors, or be sent to the NHL team’s American League (AHL) team. Players who weren’t drafted do the school or junior thing and might be able to sign with an NHL team independently. While players are eligible to play in the NHL at 18, it is a very weird and recent development for them to actually do that; generally 20-22 is a common age for forwards to debut, 22-24 for defensemen, and 24+ for goalies.

North American women often play high school or with boys in juniors up to the AHL, before going NCAA and then to European women’s leagues or if possible to the North American women’s leagues.

In Russia, players take classes at hockey schools, usually affiliated with the local KHL team, after their ordinary school lets out for the say. They start with a combination of skating technique and playtime to encourage creativity, with the hours increasing as they grow up and are promoted through the team’s own junior levels to MHL (the AHL equivalent) and the main KHL team. Players are eligible for the KHL at 16. While they often stay in their hometown, they can choose to go to a different team’s hockey school at certain points, in which case they or their families move to school housing.

More on culture

Equipment

Skates

Skates have a firm boot and a blade which has two sharp edges with a hollow in between. They do not have toe picks, so skaters have to use a two-foot parallel stop or “hockey stop”

Hockey stops send up a cloud of snow so they’re a great way to be a dick to your teammates, and they make a swoosh swoosh SWOOSH sound that’s just great.

You will be able to see who is a great skater, trust your eye. There are lots of different ways to be a great skater that you can start to appreciate. Some people are fast on the straightaways, some people can pick up speed more quickly over short distances, some are more mobile with lots of fine turns, some have endurance.

Sticks

Hockey sticks are made of different materials with different levels of whippiness. They have a shaft, which is cut to measure from the ground to somewhere between your chin and your eyebrows. Forwards tend to go shorter for control, defensemen longer for reach. No player is allowed to carry a stick over 63” unless they have a height exemption, which is why Colton Parayko has to carry a Certified Big Boy card and his own teammate once got a penalty for coping a feel of his stick. The blade curves forward away from you as you hold it, and the blade and top of the shaft are wrapped with slightly grippy tape. Some people care a lot about tape.

Your dominant hand usually goes at the top of your stick to control it, with your non-dominant hand on the shaft providing the power for most shots. Your hockey-handedness is named after the side of your body the blade stick is on: if you are right-handed, your right hand is on top, left hand is on the shaft, and you have a left-handed shot. 

That makes for a lot more natural left shooters than natural right shooters. Because you have the wall on one side and passes coming from another, it’s in some ways difficult for a left shooter to play on the right side of the ice. That means that the people who do have to play their “off wing” learn to switch how they hold their stick and will usually be very good at it, and can surprise the other team in certain ways, but there are strategic advantages to natural handedness, especially on defense. Coaches fantasize about having three pairs of perfectly matched right- and left-side defensemen, so right-shooting/left-handed d-men are hot shit.

The whippiness or stiffness of your stick helps you with your choice of less powerful, more accurate wristshots (which make the pretty ting! sound off the goalposts), medium one-timers and snapshots, preferred by forwards, or the big booming slapshots that defensemen use when they don’t much care for whoever’s between them and the other team’s goalie.

Pads

If you are going to shout an opinion about injuries, hits, fights, concussions, exemptions for young or small players, etc, please, you need to understand pads. This shit matters.

Hockey pads for skaters cover the lower legs and wrap from the shoulders across the upper chest and down the arms. This is why certain plays are held to be more or less dangerous than you might instinctively think. (More on weird injuries: here and here)

There are chinks in the armor at the knee/calf, wrist, and none at all on their belly, so a slash to the wrists or a blow/blade coming anywhere near someone’s stomach is very different than one landing elsewhere. The modern skate boot is also very stiff and ‘locks’ your foot in a certain position relative to your leg, so trips and falls can easily lead to foot injuries. Slashing, tripping, and especially kicking have a really good chance of hurting someone, which is why they are treated that way even if by good luck no one was hurt this time.

Pads are soft-cap or hard-cap: soft-cap is a thick layer of padding, hard-cap is a literal hard plastic shell armor. Hard-cap pads are illegal at major junior levels of competition and in rec leagues, because you can’t really feel through them: if you’re wearing soft pads and lay a hit on someone, you’ll both feel it, so there’s an upper limit on how much force you want to hit them with, but in hard pads you can smash someone into oblivion without hurting yourself. This is the same reason why you drop gloves before fighting: hitting someone with an armored glove on hurts you less but lets you hurt them more.

Concussions are a type of traumatic brain injury when a large force moves through the head and neck, causing the brain to slosh around in the skull. It is not just caused by direct blows to the head, but by intense movement of the head when the body is hit elsewhere. Men’s hockey is a leading sport for concussions in men, and women’s hockey is a or the leading cause of concussions in women. This is a problem, because concussions are bad. This is not just because fighting is allowed in men’s hockey, but because of the forces and collisions in both games. 

Statistically, an individual NHL player lays hundreds of hits per season, and fights between zero and a dozen times. Across the league there might be about a hundred hits in each game, and there’s a fight about every other game. Each fight lasts about 6 seconds and involves about a dozen shots. So while fighting is not safe, about 60% of concussions are linked to the much more common shoulder and head hits.

I deeply, dearly do not care if you do or don’t like fights. It is fine. You do you. But if you say banning fights would cure concussions while ignoring the role of hits, I will hunt you down and smack your phone out of your hands with a foam roller.

Jerseys Because they’re standing on ice, which is slippy, players grab each other’s jersey sleeves or collars during fights to hold them in range and punch with the other hand. In the past, players would not only drop their gloves before a fight but try to strip their sweaters off as well: if you were totally topless, he wouldn’t have a handhold and wouldn’t be able to hit you effectively. Now, jerseys are hooked to hockey pants with an elastic “fight strap” to stop the stripping.

Also they’re fun to fuck with.

Hockey socks are actually two pieces: a normal sock that goes on your foot and in your skate and then a tube with no foot in team colors that you pull on over it. Some NHL players do not wear the sock in their skate. I’m not going to name names, but I feel very, very comfortable saying that it is only the men that do this.

Note: OMGCP is not a depiction of athletic practice, injuries and safety, or Northern North American communities/culture (much less Russian). I desperately do not care if you like it as what it is, but the plays that are presented as normal and the mechanisms of injury shown are not accurate, and might be dangerous to apply to real injuries. Please do not base your opinions of rule calls or injuries that affect the safety of real people on it.

Bonus facts:

Hockey is a sweaty, sweaty game. However much you are imagining: it’s more. Skaters lose an average of 1.5 liters of fluid in a game, and some lose 2 to 3 liters. Goalies lose about 3 liters every practice. Braden Holtby specifically sweats off 9 pounds. This is why you see them chewing bubblegum during the game, and why rubbing a glove on someone’s face is a playful (or not) insult

Athletes don’t eat pop “health food”. They do not eat salads every meal. Hockey players today are typically on protein-heavy diets during the summer and early season to put on weight (both muscle and fat, which plays an important role in hydration and metabolism!), then switch to carbohydrate-heavy diets to make up for the amount of energy they burn in the later part of the season. Many are on “low sugar” diets because…well, that was pop science in the era that their coaches trained in, but many are not. Exercise anorexia and overtraining are increasingly epidemic in the sport because of the focus on body fat and form that is institutionalized in many programs. More on body fat here: X

“Indian head” logos commemorate the practice of white settlers trading the severed heads or body parts of Native Americans for cash. This is bad. Support Indigenous and First Nations fans in changing the name.

[caitybug]

(Also sorry you are working on sads and feel blegh) maybe Rain is too "mundain" as far as prompts. 5? 7? 8? Any of those sound fun? 😂

5. Typed kisses.

7. Kisses after decades apart.

8. Kisses after dark.

Birdy, bc I love you, I’m going to try to do all of these haha.

(Shoutout to @adamarks​ for looking this over to make sure I wasn’t going insane.)

(1:35): Good morning! 

(1:35): Snow, it’s 1 in the morning. 

(1:36): Why are you messaging me?

(1:36): It’s 7:30 here.

(1:36): It’s still morning, though. So my original text stands. 

(1:37): Good morning, Snow. 

(1:37):😘 😘 

(1:38): XO. 

Day 2:

(10:03): Let me know how your appointment goes. 

(10:03): XO.

(10:04): My what?

(10:04): Your check-up.

(11:05): You forgot about it, didn’t you?

(11:10): I’m here, I don’t know what you’re talking about, Baz. 

(11:12): You’re an idiot, Snow.

(11:12): 😘 😘 love you.

(11:13): I love you too, XO. 

Day 3:

(15:03): Do you think the milk is still good?

(15:04): When did it go bad?

(15:05): It says it went bad a few days ago.

(15:06): But the date says best by…

(15:06): So it just means it isn’t at its BEST right?

(15:07): How does it smell?

(15:07): Not good.

(15:08): Then don’t drink it.

(15:09): What if I just don’t know how milk is supposed to smell? How often do I really smell milk?

(15:10): Snow, just get more milk. I think we can spare the money it costs.

(15:10): But I’ve already started cooking. 

(15:12): I’m just going to try anyway. 

(15:12): It’ll be cooked anyway, right?

(15:13): I want it known I believe this to be a bad idea. 

(15:14): You also said that subscribing to three different butter services was “unnecessary and excessive”

(15:15): I stand by that, Snow. 

(15:15): How can one person eat that much butter each month?

(15:16): I can’t believe you would doubt my abilities like this. 

(15:16): I thought we were in a loving and supportive relationship. 

(15:17): I love you and support your health.

(15:17): Which means cutting back on butter sometimes, darling.

(15:20): I’m going to use the milk. 

(15:22): I wish you the best.

(15:22): 😘 😘

(15:23): XO. 

Day 5:

(7:40): How is your stomach?

(7:45): Better.

(7:45): I told you to buy new milk. 

(7:47): I think there is a stomach bug going around.

(7:47): Probably that.

(7:49): Sure, Snow.

(7:49): That’s why you spent yesterday regurgitating the entire contents of your stomach.

(7:50): Yes, it is.

(7:52): Have a good day.

(7:52): I miss you.

(7:52): 😘 😘

(7:55): I miss you too.

(7:55): XO.

Day 8:

(20:46): The people above us are pounding it out again.

(20:47): Earplugs are in my bedside drawer.

(20:47): If you were here I’d just try to compete.

(20:48): You certainly would not.

(20:50): I bet we could beat them.

(20:52): Come on, Baz, I know you’ve got a competitive streak. Don’t let Richard and Shelly show us up.

(20:53): You’ve got two hands, Snow. I’m sure you could manage something.

(20:54): Oh? Good idea.

(20:54): Talk later.

(20:55): 😘 😘

(20:57): I regret so much about this conversation.

(20:57): XO.

Day 13:

(14:05): YOU COME BACK TOMORROW!

(14:07): Please stop yelling at me.

(14:07): But yes, I do. 

(14:08): 😊 😊 😊

(14:09): I love you.

(14:14): I love you too.

(14:15): Can we facetime?

(14:15): In a couple of hours, Snow.

(14:15): I’ve got one more meeting.

(14:16): 😔

(14:16): Alright.

(14:17): XO.

(14:18): 😘 😘

Day 14

I get through security. It’s always a painful even, especially in America. Have to practically strip just to stand in a machine that tells everyone what I’ve already known. 

No gun here the machine says with a green light and a beep.

As if I’d need one. 

It’s been delayed several hours for a reason I’ve yet to figure out. The weather looks clear, planes are moving in and out. People on other flights are still departing on time. 

The only reasonable explanation I’ve come up with is the airline is incompetent. 

“Snow,” I say, putting a finger in my right ear, trying to ignore the man screaming at the poor help desk person. “I may not be back until tomorrow.”

I look at the clock. Even if we left now I wouldn’t get home until midnight.

“What? Why?” He asks. His voice sounds frantic.

I hate worrying him.

“This airline work flew me through is set upon ruining my life,” I growl under my breath. 

The service representatives have been berated enough, they don’t need me coming after them as well. (Even if I want to.)

(Crowley do I want to.)

“Right now it doesn’t have us leaving for another two hours, so at earliest I won’t be home until 3 in the morning. With the trend of how this has been going, I won’t be surprised if it gets canceled altogether.”

He huffs.

“I miss you.”

It comes out as a whisper, any quieter, and I would have missed it.

It’s not that he’s ashamed of saying it. We’ve said it a lot over the past two weeks.

He’s sad. I am too. I was supposed to be home by dinner. We were going to order takeaway and watch a movie, kiss and makeup for lost time.

Ignore all responsibilities of the world around us for the evening. 

“I miss you too.” I face the large windows, looking at planes that aren’t mine leaving the runway. 

The blasted airport is under construction too. Everyone said to fly in and out of La Guardia because it is easier, but I’m wondering if I should have taken JFK. 

“I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“You better. Preferably before I drink more spoiled milk.”

“Stay away from all dairy products until I return,” I chuckle into the phone. 

An announcement comes over the intercom.

“They’re announcing another delay, I’m sure,” I groan. “I’ll send you a text.”

“I love you,” he says from the other side.

“I love you too,” I respond, ending the call and slipping it into my pocket. 

(14:36): I hope you get home soon.

(14:36): Threaten to suck their blood, or something.

(14:36): I’m sure that would work.

(14:36): 😘 😘.

(14:37): You’re an idiot, Snow.

(14:37): XO.

Day 15, 4:16

I turn my key in the door, trying to quietly walk into the flat. My suitcase softly rolls against the wood behind me as I pull it in, letting it sit next to the door.

Unpacking can happen after I get at least fourteen hours of sleep. 

I place a brown paper sack of scones on the kitchen table.

I couldn’t resist. The shop next to us had just opened, and I knew it would make him smile. 

I continue down the hallway, stopping only to take a piss.

In our room, still blanketed in darkness apart from the street lights coming from the road beside us, Simon softly snores. 

He still sleeps on his side of the bed while I’m away. It makes my heart feel softer than I’d like to admit. 

One hand rests next to his head, his wings spread out across the bed.

I change clothes, relieving myself of all the feelings of travel before softly lifting a wing to get under the blanket and allow him to cover me again.

I don’t have long to process the fact that I’m with him again before I feel something wrap around my calf. 

I pause for a moment before I remember.

The tail.

He is, for all I can tell, still asleep. Meaning it’s recognized I’m here and is saying hello in its own way.

I rub it softly with my other foot.

It dislikes not getting attention, you see.

Simon’s mouth is open as he breathes deeply. I think his pillow is a little wet.

I’d call it disgusting (it is, truly), but I missed him so much that I can’t help but smile.

I risk moving closer and kiss his cheek softly, trying not to wake him up.

I know he hasn’t slept well without me.

(I haven’t either, without him.)

Side effect of sleeping for so many years in that tower. We both got dreadfully used to hearing the other breathe, the way we each navigated and slept.

At this point, I think even his snoring lulls me to sleep.

(I still complain about it, however.)

An arm wraps behind my back and pulls me close.

He takes a deep breath, and when I pull back I see one eye open.

“Hey there,” he says, voice hoarse with sleep. 

“Your breath smells.” I lean in, kissing his forehead. 

“Well your hair is greasy,” he replies, pulling me into a kiss, his hand moving to my hair. 

“You don’t seem to mind it.”

He hums in response.

I pull him tighter. I need to feel this. Everything. 

His lips.

His hands.

His chest against mine.

“And you don’t seem to mind the morning breath,” he states, smiling at me as we break for a moment.

I open my mouth to retort but he puts a finger to my lips, shushing me.

“No talking, only kissing,” he whispers. “I’ve not kissed my fiancé in decades.”

He leans in but I pull back for a moment.

“It’s been two weeks, Snow.”

“Decades,” he states matter of factly. “Each day was like five years passed. It’s been 70 years. I’ve gone grey and wrinkly, waiting for you to return.”

I laugh, being shut up briefly by another round of kisses.

I should sleep.

But this is so much better than sleeping. 

I feel something wet hit my cheek.

Backing up, worried there is a leak from the ceiling, I realize why. 

It’s Simon.

“Love,” I say.

What’s wrong?

“It’s fine; it’s fine,” he says, wiping a stray tear from his cheek. “I’m just tired, and I missed you.”

Another tear drops from one of his eyes, and I brush it away with my thumb.

I open my mouth to say a response, to comfort, but I feel a stinging in my own eyes.

(My eyes have been open for too long, you see. Couldn’t sleep on the plane. I’ve been up far too long to be able to control any tears that fall.)

I lean in to kiss him again.

We kiss, and kiss, and keep kissing. Hands roam, trying to remind our brains of what it feels like to have each other again. 

It was dark when we started, but soon an orange haze comes over the room as the sun rises.

The tears start, stop, start again.

Laughter rings out a few times.

“You did WHAT to our oven??” I shout at one point. 

He lays now with his head on my chest. My eyes are closed, fingers scratching his head lightly.

His hand is softly rubbing my stomach.

“Wait,” Simon says, jumping up and looking at me.

I blink a few times, trying to fight off the sleep that was about to overcome me.

“Did you get?” He asks, question incomplete.

I search his eyes for a moment, frowning, trying to comprehend before I realize what he is saying.

“Yes, they are on the table,” I laugh softly.

He jumps up and starts to go to the door. 

He pauses, looking back at me, clearly wracking his brain with a question. 

“We can eat them in bed,” I say, knowing where his mind is trying to go. 

He smiles and continues his run to the kitchen.

I look out the window and see the sun hit the windows of nearby buildings.

It’s good to be home.

[teatimewithlennon]

I Know The Way There [John Lennon] - Part 5

~~I don’t know. This one is just happening. It’s mostly dialogue~~

Part 1 l Part 2  l Part 3 l Part 4

Song of the day lol

Word Count: 1279

{I am currently out of school due to the coronavirus and the fact that I am in the town it came to America in. So I’ll probably write more because I am out for 6 weeks minimum. Anyway, enjoy my quarantine writing}

My mind is in such a haze, that when I appear in my old bedroom, my legs collapse under me. I pull them into my chest, hyperventilating. The breaths coming out are hot and short. My lungs feel as though they are filled with lead. Tears are still welled in my eyes. There are images flowing through my head, but I can’t quite make any of them out. Not fully at least. I try to find my body in the overflowing sea of feelings rushing all over my body. 

I run my hands from my shoulders all the way down my dress, past my knees, and to my feet; puling off my heels. Trying my hardest to ground myself, I lift my head to stare at the ceiling, watching the ceiling fan spin slowly. My tears have stopped, but the colourful images continue to cross my vision. It feels like I’m tripping on acid. My brain feels like it might burst as a migraine builds in my head.

“What the hell is happening,” I mutter to myself.

It’s as if I’m seeing the future all at once. It’s nothing like it’s ever been before. And it’s really not doing me any good at the moment.

I sit on the floor for so long I lost track of time. And space. The colourful images are so brilliant. There are faceless people dancing and singing and being happy. There are crowds of people. There are smiles and love. I smile lazily watching the flashes of light, but they’re not all joyous. A pit begins to build in my stomach as I watch a man yell and fight. I feel the tension rise as there are divides put up between people. There’s cheating and heartbreak. And it all builds to a violent end as the visions suddenly stop and I’m brought back to reality.

Something about this feels familiar and my heart aches for the man who I just saw. I can’t place my feelings or these images I have spent…

“Shit!” I curse myself as I look at the clock, “Cole’s gonna kill me.”

I push myself off the floor, wobbling as I do. When I check my phone, I have six missed calls from Cole. As well as several texts from the others. 

I do my best to change into something appropriate to perform in, but seeing as I’m picking from my old wardrobe, it’s not very helpful. Somehow, I manage to find something decent to wear, simple shorts and cardigan look, but I have no time to change my hair or makeup, so I guess we’re keeping the 50s look.

When I rush downstairs, my dad tries to call me as I storm through his cafe. All he can do is smile and shake his head.

“So much for getting help,” he sighs to himself.

Everything passes in a blur as I do my best to make it to the bus stop. But. alas, my dumb ass was just too slow. So now I’m stood with twenty minutes to get to a venue that’s halfway across town…

I could jump...But that’s what? Four times in a day… 

                                                         ✱✱✱

Cole paces back and forth in the dressing room. The blonde twins, James and Lexi look unbothered by the situation they are in. While their manager is a worry wort, the band themselves, know that no matter what, Lydia always makes it, even if it’s in the nick of time. 

“She’s gonna be late,” Cole throws his hands up, “I know it.”

“She’s only six missed calls in,” Lexi hums out. “Sam isn’t even here yet.”

“And he’s late more than Lydia,” James adds.

The older man dials again, hoping she will pick up. As he does there’s a knock at the door. The person does not wait for a response, pulling the three’s attention to the door.

“Thank god you-” Cole starts. “You’re not Lydia.”

A lanky brunet man stands in the door holding a guitar case. 

“Last time I checked,” he laughs out, “why? Is she not here yet?”

“Nope,” James says nonchalantly grabbing a beer from the counter.

Sam walks himself over to the couch“I give it five minutes maximum,”

“We need to start sound check in eight!” Cole exclaims.

“Then we have plenty of time,” He kicks his feet up earning a chuckle from Lexi.

The four wait patiently, well the musicians do, Cole looks more stressed than usual. He leaves to smoke, he expects the singer to be in the room when he does, but she is not. And his panic gets worse when the stage manager comes to call them on stage for soundcheck.

“I swear we need to get that girl a tracker,” Cole groans.

The band begins to set up on stage. Lexi sets herself up behind the drumset, fiddling around and trying to find her brushes. James begins to tune up his bass and Sam gets up next to the pedalboard, tapping around a bit. The man in the booth gives the thumbs up as Cole hops off the stage into where the pit will be.

“Should we do Anywhere but Here?” Sam asks.

“No, we should do Places Between Us,” chimes James.

“We always do that one,” moans Lexi leaning over her drum kit.

Cole puts his head in his hand, “Please just pick something.”

“Too Young To Die,” I say running up from backstage, guitar in hand.

“Oh thank God,” Cole looks as though he might fall over from relief.

“Sound good to me,” Sam smiles at me. The others nod

Lexi counts us off and soundcheck goes off without a hitch. 

“I can’t believe you,” Cole has been going off on me since we finished soundcheck. He didn’t even wait for us to get to the green room before scolding me like a child as I sit on the couch. “I trusted you to be here, you’re never late! What the hell happened?”

I sat there for a second, debating what to say. I didn’t know what to say.

“I was on a date,” I said finally.

Everyone stared at me in stunned silence. Cole’s face softened, he seemed to back into himself a bit.

I continued, “I was on a date and I lost track of time.”

“You went on a date?” James asked.

“Jesus, how many times do I have to say it. Yes, I went on a date,” I now regret my decision, “It’s not a big deal.”

Sam looked the most stunned, “Like, a real date?”

“Well, not a REAL date. But I met someone and we kinda hit it off, I guess.” It comes out way more awkward than I meant it to.

“This isn’t one of your one night stands right?” James questions.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I just meant that you tend to cycle pretty fast,” his eyes widen, “not that you’re a slut or anything…” he realizes he’s digging himself into a hole.

Sam puts his hand on the other boy’s shoulder, “He just means that we know you’ve had trouble with romance in the past,” he looks around, “and we don’t want you getting hurt.”

“A little late for that,” I whisper to myself.

“Why?” Cole jumps into mama bird mode, “What did he do?”

“It’s what I did to myself,” I look down into my lap, “I know that he’s a ladies man and I let myself fall for it. But I realized as I was leaving, that it was more. I felt more, and I think he did too.” I trail off.

“How do you know?” Lexi asked softly.

“He chased me…”

[blissfulparker]

Safehouse pt.2→bodygaurd!tom

Summary: after a threat against you, you and your bodyguard tom are sent off to a safehouse where you and him are stuck on a beach leaving all the feeling kept deep pulled to the surface.

Warnings:slight smut,mostly fluff

A/n: I will post a third part to this hopefully and also we’re only 50 away from 4K which blows my mind because I’ve pretty much had this account for only a year so thank you 💖

Part 1

The first night sleep was okay, tom had placed a gun by your bed since you were paranoid something was going to happen. Any sound made by the ocean or a russel in the trees would make you think someone was outside. Any other house by the beach you’d love the ocean and sleep safe and sound by it but not when someone was out planing on ruining your life and even wanting to kill you.

You woke up in a sweat, you felt out of breath which had you reach for the water by your bed and take a sip. It was simply a nightmare of you and tom being found and both killed, it was a horrible dream and you tried to soothe yourself back to sleep but you knew it wasn’t going to work.

You suddenly found yourself moving out of your room and at the door frame of Toms. You stood there for a second contemplating if you should wake him or not. He looked so peaceful, his hair all over the pillow and his mouth slightly parted with drool coming out, it was cute, you wondered if this was exactly how tom slept at home or if he was just exhausted.

“Tom?” You whispered into his room. The boy flew up in a jolt as he went for his gun and immediately aimed it at you.

“Fuck!” He put his gun back down and rubbed his eyes noticing It was just you.

“Sorry!” You come over to his bed before inviting yourself in. Even with him just being here for two days the bed started to smell like him. His scent was deep, calming, something you could easily get use to.

“What’s wrong?” He places his arm around you and pulled you into his chest, he was going in and out of sleep.

“I just had a nightmare, that’s all.” You cuddle into his side. “Couldn’t fall back asleep.” You look up at him. The moonlight supported his features and made him look all the better.

“Well, it’s ,” he paused to look over at the alarm clock to read you the time. “5:45am I don’t see a point in falling back to sleep.” He sits up from his position still tired. He reaches down for his feet and you hear a few back cracks, he then goes to rub his eyes as he looks out the window trying to collect his thoughts.

“Can we watch the sunrise?” You ask him and he turns and laughs a little.

“Yeah on the beach? I don’t think so. Someone could be out there.” He gets up from the bed, he floor creaks below him as he makes his way over to the bathroom sink.

“I thought no one knew we were here?” You say up as well. There was no point in trying to sleep you knew that you’d just have another nightmare.

“no one knows that we’re here but if someone does and we’re in the open then we’re both dead.” He splashed water on his face and then grabbed the bottle of face wash.

“That’s not how it works tommy.” You tease him. He stops and looks up, no one calls him tommy, only his mother did when he was little. Now it’s tom, or thomas, depending on how you know him. At first it was thomas to you then you got comfortable and started calling him tom and little nicknames you’ve came up with on the way.

“You don’t know that.” He turns off the water and grabs the towl to dry his face.

“So what? You just going to ground me from the outside? I’m scared too but at least I’m being positive about this and trying to have fun.” You defend and he now makes his way to the other side of the room where the door was.

“Well if you view it like that, then yes. You’re ground.” He says before leaving the room. You groan as you knew you had to now fight for your right to go outside.

“Tommy!” You run up and grab his shoulders. “Have you ever seen dolphins in real life?” You asked with your lips dangerously close to his neck.

“When I was eight my family took a trip to America and we visited sea world, so yes.” With you still attached to him, he made his way to the kitchen to start a kettle of hot water.

“I meant In the ocean, it’s much more magical there.” You whisper in his ear. He turns around and places his hands on your hips. For a second you see how dark his eyes are and now you think you’re in real trouble.

“You have a jacuzzi, why don’t you swim in that?” He looks down at your lips. His voice was still horse from waking up. Something about him in this hour was so much better then any version of tom you’ve seen. Plain white tee, joggers low, his hair all over his head soft messy curls, no gel or comb to them, his British accent slightly deeper and horse, his little moles and feckles stood out on his face. He was gorgeous, so simple yet gorgeous.

“Which one?” You smirk. “The one inside Or out?” You tease and he scoffs before letting go of your waist. He turns back around and focused on the heating water instead of you.

“You’re impossible.” He rests his arms on the counter now looking out the window at how beautiful the sun looked on the sea as it came up. The sun was coming from behind making the sea look a soft pink and you were right, dolphins did look more magical in the water when they were jumping in packs.

“Where are you going?” He turned around and noticed you walking away. His eyes noticed just how short your pajama shorts were and he didn’t want anyone else to see you like that ever.

“Outside.” You shout out as you keep walking straight to your bedroom. The patio had the best view of both the ocean and forest, the view that looked like paradise. You strip your clothes and leave yourself in your bra and underwear, you didn’t pack your bathing suit because you didn’t really know which safehouse you were going to. There was no point you expected to stay inside and be stressed for these weeks.

“What the hell are you doing?” Tom asked as he walked out on to the balcony seeing you sitting there gazing at the sea.

“Well, I’m not on the beach am I?” You smirk. You notice how he sets the one mug next to you not even caring to try and fight anymore. It was useless and he knew it.

“You’re a pain in my ass somedays.” He sits next to you. Taking a sip of his own tea.

“I know,” you notice how he’s also brought out his gun. You didn’t want to fight because you knew he was right, if someone did know you were out here they could take a perfect shot at both of your heads. “But you love me.” You splash some water on him.

“I don’t love you I think you’re obnoxious.” He sets his mug down and you pick up yours.

“Get in loser.” You tell him and he looks down at you.

“No.” He protests. “Are you even wearing clothes?” He asked with furrowed brows.

“Yes I’m wearing clothes! Now get in!” You grab both of his hands. “Put the gun away, take off your top and joggers and get in.” You look him dead in the eye.

He sighs as he starts to take off his clothes. On his abs there were a couple of scars, but he was very toned. You knew one thing about toms workout plan and that was He did boxing. He took off his joggers next to reveal him just in his Calvin Klein underwear.

“Get in.” You encourage him and he steps in. You see how he instantly relaxes in the water as he makes his way to sit by you. “Now look.” You point to the dolphins, he noticed how they jumped in and out waiting a few seconds in between.

“They’re beautiful.” He whispers and you nod.

“I told you.” You lean your head on his shoulder. “Better then seaworld.”

He looked down at you dawning at the ocean. You didn’t even truly seem to care that people were after you and that three days ago your life was on the line. He wondered why you even chose him, you had about 4 bodygaurds, some came in and out but he seemed to be your favorite no matter what. You were his favorite too, when he took this job it was just for some money, Yeah it came with cool stories but he didn’t plan on staying a bodyguard for long. Here he was though, in a jacuzzi on the edge of France, in a safe house, no actual other houses for miles. Just you and him.

“Why’d you bring me with you?” He asks which now caused you to look at him was well.

“Because you’re my bodygaurd.” You look him in his eyes scared of why he might say. He was serious again and serious tom was a turn on but at the same time made you feel so little.

“That’s not why you brought me here, you have four other bodyguards and two of those four are over six feet and could kill someone with their bare hands. So why me?” He asks, his hand rested on your lower back and your arms moved to his neck hoping this was the moment with tom.

“Because you’re nice, you don’t see me as a spoiled rich brat.” You move closer not loosing eye contact.

“You are a spoiled rich brat.” He teased you now pulling you up on his lap, your legs wrapped around his waist and your hands still locked on his shoulders. “Why am I here with you?”

“Because I like you? What is this a test?” You get closer wanting so badly to fill the space between the two of you.

“No,” he gets just as close and now his breath is on your neck. “Just curious.” He says before he decides to fill the space with his lips. They were soft, warm, he tasted like a combination of tea and mint tooth paste. He pulled you in closer and the two of you knew how long you’ve been waiting for this.

“Is this what you were ‘just curious’ about?” You smirk as his lips find your neck sucking noticeable red blotches on you.

“Shut up,” he grabbed your face and pulled you back to his lips. “You’re such a tease you know, coming into my room and trying to sleep next to me while you wear shorts that are so short it leaves nothing to the imagination.” His kisses are now sloppy but passionate, he wanted to get all of you and worship you.

“Oh,” you lean your head back giving him more access to your neck. “So you’ve been thinking about me for awhile then?” You breathe out and he pulls your hips to grind into his before you let out a moan.

The two of you keep going before there’s a sound of something running behind bushes. Tom immediately stops and goes to grab his gun pointing it in the direction, one had was on the gun and the other pulled you to his chest.

“Relax it’s just a rabbit.” You tell him before paying attention to his neck. He kept his eyes in the distance before falling back into your trance. He wanted to let go of the situation before he heard something again.

“Tom I’m serious just let it—“ he kept his gaze in the distance, he wanted to be just a rabbit but he had a hard time believing that.

“We’re going back inside.” He moves you off his lap before crawling out of the tub. You scoff but if it was something serious you were right in the open.

The two of you walked back in with your body’s soaking wet, it was now 6:45am, the amount of time that was wasted and pasted this morning with just tom made you feel something unbelievable.

“You have something on your neck.” You tease and he turns around from locking the door. His fingers go to touch the red and purple forming mark that you’d left.

“You do too.” He smirks before he walks past you. He was such a tease and you wanted more and more of him. “Get out of your wet clothes.” He instructs you, with a sly smirk you get rid of the wet bra and underwear and change back into comfortable clothes since you’d most likely be stuck back inside all day.

You go to join tom back in his room where he sat on the edge of his bed in just his grey sweats, his hair fell in front of his face as he hunched over his phone.

“You’re dog is cute.” You come behind him on his bed and wrap your arms around him. His lock screen was a picture of him smiling while his dog licks his face. It was cute, mundane, he looked his happiest. “Tessa? Isn’t it?” You rest your head on his shoulder before he turns to grab your hips and place you down on the bed.

“Yeah, she’s the love of my life.” He says, the sound of your stomach disrupt the two of you. “Are you hungry? I can make you some peanut butter and banana toast.” He offers and you smile a little but then shake your head.

“I’m allergic to peanut butter.” You tell him and he nods. He picks you up from the bed, your legs wrap around his waist as he walks you two to the kitchen where he sets you on the counter.

“Eggs?” He looks over at you and you nod. He pulls out the pan and cracks two eggs on.

You jump off to turn on the news as background noise, watching tom like this made you realize how much you wanted to live like this. You’ve liked tom ever since you hired him but seeing him make breakfast and the sun coming through the curtains made you want to live like this, yes the big houses, penthouses, luxury hotel rooms was fun for you but living rich and the life of a business woman was hard and you never really saw the world other then all the major cities in the world. You could see you and tom one day living like this if it all worked out, in a nice house in the middle of nowhere, waking up to the sound of waves, going to sleep without hearing car Horns.

“Stop staring creep.” He looks over to see you on the couch staring at him before you roll your eyes and get up to come over.

“I wasn’t staring,” you sit on the counter. “I was thinking.” You told him and he looked up again.

“ ‘bout what, darling?” He asked focusing on the eggs.

“This house, we could do this more often.” You touch his shoulder.

“You mean get a threat so big it’s on your life that we have to wipe ourselves from society? No thanks.” He told you and you hit his shoulder.

“No, I meant as a vacation.” You tell him before he turns off the stove.

“Let’s see how this all goes and then we can think about coming back for fun.” He winks before grabbing two plates.

Although this house was meant to just keep you safe when there was danger, you felt calmer then ever with tom here. Tom was going to be the death of you here, being here with him would make your heart go wild. Even though you were protected by the outside tom was going to be the absolute one thing to keep you feeling safe. Safer than this whole house.

[sweetcatastrophex]

okay it’s time to record my thoughts. lately i’ve been feeling, not myself? idk i’ve been irritable and short with jake, giving him attitude, and he’s rightly upset and i think i’m projecting my worries onto him. it wouldn’t be the first time i’ve projected my anxiety.  this monday was the deadline for the biggest issue of the year and i was in production until 1:50 a.m. (my work day began at around 8:30 a.m.) i’m so relieved to be done with it, as well as the annual guide. between that and election coverage i’ve been feeling stressed (as i do around this time every year bc of election coverage. remember a couple years ago when i had to see a few doctors and have tests done bc i was feeling lightheaded all the time and having panic attacks? lol yeah). and a few nights ago i had a work-related stress dream. maybe i’m feeling burnt out? what else is new. but maybe i’m feeling burnt out bc i’ve taken zero days off this year bc of the pandemic and bc my company restricted our PTO days and i couldn’t attend my annual festival/camping trip bc it was canceled. i always looked forward to that trip not only bc it’s fun and exciting, but bc it was an opportunity for me to unplug / take a break from work and regular life and be immersed in nature and creativity and fun activities, all without worrying about work or my social life bc i have no phone service out there. i loved going off the grid for a few days, experiencing new things and meeting new, interesting people.  but that’s just it — i’ve been feeling like my creativity has been quashed. it’s funny, or ironic, bc you’d think now that we’re stuck home all the time i’d have time to pursue certain creative projects i’ve pushed to the side for so long, but no. by the time i’m finished with work i’m drained and exhausted and end up eating dinner and falling asleep with jake. i haven’t even had a sex drive...these past couple of months i’ve experienced the longest period of time i’ve ever gone without sex lol. wtf. i hate how my anxiety and worries manifest in my body physically. with that being said, i’m extremely grateful for my yoga practice and meditation (s/o calm app for being my meditation coach) bc it makes it manageable. without it i think i’d be lost, hopeless; a mess. i’ve been writing down things that i’d like to do or try in an effort, somewhat, to manifest them. things like cutting my hair even shorter and dying the ends blue, getting a tattoo on my arm, moving to florida, enrolling in yoga teacher training, trying hip hop dance classes, trying pole dancing, trying aerial yoga and lyra hooping... sometimes i feel like i’m gonna explode and spontaneously move and restart my life. i almost feel caught, trapped. i’m also experiencing discomfort each time i think about changing jobs. i’m concerned about the transition from journalism to PR — am i selling out? am i giving up my integrity? what if i don’t like the position and my duties? what if it doesn’t pay enough? it’s so expensive to live around here. i genuinely don’t understand how people afford it.  not to mention all that is going on in the world. the injustices i see every day are sickening and disturbing. this country has grown unrecognizable to me. when my generation was growing up we were told relentlessly how great america is and now we are watching all the dirty lies unfold before our eyes. i often wonder about Netflix’s role in the media, the way it has been exposing certain people and organizations. but that’s for another post. it’s all become so much. i get overwhelmed easily. and as an empath, i feel deeply for all of the people harmed and can’t help but cry a lot of the time. and lately jake has been putting on a docu-series about a man who manipulated women into joining a sex cult and who’s blackmailing them and it keeps reminding me of my abusive ex and triggering me. and he puts it on right before we fall asleep... which leads me to: i’ve been experiencing these weird jerks/twitches as i’m falling asleep which 1. isn’t new and 2. is normal. but still. i believe (and studies suggest) it stems from anxiety. it helps when i meditate before going to sleep but i usually meditate in the mornings.  i often watch youtube videos to learn tips about how to become more productive. i feel like i have this obsession with productivity — i tend to feel useless if i’m not productive. maybe that’s what brought me to work in public service / why i’m in the field of journalism. idk but i do practice self-compassion if i’m not productive. at least i think i do. i want to make some changes in my life. i want to bc i feel like i’m living the same day over and over again, always resulting in failure — i wake up somewhat late, slowly get into work, procrastinate, stop working, get high and play video games or go out for drinks, then go to sleep late bc i’m feeling like i could still tick some items off the to-do list or bc i’m self-sabotaging bc i didn’t get enough done. then i have trouble waking up early (i’m coming to terms with the fact that you gotta go to sleep early to wake up early). i’ve tried reducing the number of tasks on my lists... i think what i need to do is start waking up earlier. but for me that’s a big undertaking. i’ve always been a night owl — growing up i’d keep notebooks under my pillow for my late-night thoughts and poems — it’s when i’m most creative. but i just feel a shift. i’ve been reading and learning so much about people who are “morning people” and how they’re so productive, having accomplished so much before the clock even marked 10 a.m. so i want that. if i wake up earlier i’ll have more alone time (so! important!) to get things done. at least that’s what i’m telling myself.  which brings me to another point and then i think i’m done venting lol this was a much-needed journaling sesh (still got my ~physical paper~ daily journal and to-do list journal, in addition to my work notebook😂 and my new planner/organizer from youtuber muchelleb just came in! lol). alone time is so important to me. and i have had none of that lately lol bc i’ve been living with jake. and don’t get me wrong, i absolutely love living with jake and his dad and my fur babies morty and bailey (a long-haired chihuahua and a maltese, respectively). morty is the light of my life, my prince, my love. but i almost sense a loss of identity bc i haven’t been spending time in my room — my own space with my own belongings and decorations, etc. i also kind of miss seeing my family but don’t at the same time (i enjoy my mental health being stable). and also don’t miss my cluttered house that my parents refuse to clean and declutter. i can’t possibly think straight in a cluttered environment like that so i’ve been extra grateful for being able to stay with jake these past few months. idk how i would’ve been able to work and eat (somewhat) clean otherwise. so in conclusion, with the good comes the bad. it’s a balance. don’t they say you can’t have sunshine without a little rain? or something like that. there’s things i’m grateful for but there’s also things i recognize need changing. it’s time for action. i’m hoping i’ll feel back on track once i purchase and install a new bed frame with storage in my room. one positive that this “quarantine” time has brought is that jake and i have been overhauling my room — removing things, cleaning, rearranging. the energy is different. it’s time to finish the project, then maybe i’ll feel more apt to stay at my own house more often, once my own private space is ready for dwelling. i think some time apart would do me and jake some good. they also say distance makes the heart grow fonder. ;-) 

[littlesmoosh90]

Get to know me ☺️

1. When was the last time you swam in a pool? - about a month ago although it was more going down slides. 2. Do you like to party? - I like to go to the pub and drink some wine and chat, I dunno if that constitutes partying. 3. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do? - break his jaw 😇 4. Are you a virgin? - I have a five year old child that I baked and birthed so... 5. What are your parents views on sex? - I don't have a mum and I can't say it's something me and my dad speak about. He just always told me to be safe as a teenager. 6. If you ran into your current boyfriend/crush in 10 years would you marry them? - I'm not big on marriage but I really hope I'm still with Thomas in 10 years. 7. Is your best friend dating anyone? - my best friend is very happily married to her high school sweetheart. 8. Describe the shirt you’re wearing. - it's my boyfriends, it's big and stripey. 9. Do people who wear Hollister and Abrerbrombie every day bother you? - I don't even know what they are, is that bad? 10. Could you go out in public without wearing make-up? - yeah, I do it often. 11. What is one feature about yourself that you don’t like? - physically, my stomach. Mentally, my overthinking obsessiveness and ability to ruin what should be happy moments because of it. 12. Would people describe you as happy? - in general yes, but as I just mentioned above... 13. Are you single? - no 14. Does it bother you that pretty much every survey you take asks if you’re single? - I don't do many surveys! 15. Do you have Tumblr? - this is tumblr 16. What about Xanga? - don't know what this is so no 17. Have you ever babysat before? - yeah 18. Is there a teacher who you absolutely hate? - I'm long out of school but there was. Any teacher that has no patience or encouragement is in the wrong job. 19. Ever shopped at Sephora? - no 20. If your current boyfriend/crush suddenly moved away what would you do? - I'd be heartbroken 21. Do you have any university plans? - I used to go to uni, I never got my degree because life got in the way, one day I hope to go back. 22. If your best friend revealed she was a homosexual, what would you do? - support her 100% 23. What are your views on sex? - I think it's a personal thing and what works for one person might not work for another and that's okay. People can do what pleases them as long as its consensual. 24. Do sexual questions bother you? - not at all. My friends often joke I should be a sex therapist because I enjoy talking about it. 25. Would you rather have sex with your boyfriend or break up? - if you seen my boyfriend you'd know the answer. He's gorgeous 😈 26. Have you ever dreamed about your wedding? - can't say I have 27. Does it bother you when people TYpe 1yk dis’? Nd stuff? - I honestly am not down with this slang, no idea what it is.. I feel old! 28. Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? - I made a whole new Facebook because I couldn't delete the pictures as they have my son in them and that wouldn't be fair to his dad. So I kept the log in to the old Facebook so I still have the pics for my son when he grows but I made a fresh one mainly for myself. 29. Would you ever date a friends Ex? - no. 30. What’s the last book you read? - twilight for the billionth time and I have zero shame about it! 31. Ready for 10 simple questions? - yeah 32. What is your last name? - Adams 33. What grade are you in? - I'm not, although I do work in a school. 34. What school do you go to? - I don't 35. Summer, Fall, Winter or Spring? - summer. I don't like to feel cold. But Autumn is pretty. 36. Favorite Color? - green and purple 37. Are your parents together? - no 38. Any siblings? - a brother and two half brothers. 39. Favorite subject? - art 40. Least favorite subject? - maths 41. Favorite song? - you're not sorry - Taylor Swift 42. Okay. Simple questions are over. Happy? - sure 43. How many friends do you have on Facebook? - about 300 I would guess 44. Ever been requested by some old guy from another country? - haha yes 45. Have you ever googled yourself? - yes 46. Have a Formspring? - dunno what this is 47. You’re offered free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert. What do you do? - I'd sell them 48. Would you rather spend the day at an amusement park or a water park? - amusement but I do love water parks too 49. Been to Disney world? - been to the Paris one 50. If someone posts their status “9 Inches :(” do you know what they mean? - no? 51. Ever had a boyfriend? - a few 52. Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? - no, I think I've always confronted them to be honest 53. Have you done something in the last week that you regret? - ate faaaaar too much 54. Ever drank alcohol? - yeah, I'm 27 it's perfectly fine. 55. Know anyone who’s currently doing drugs? - unfortunately yes. And unfortunately when you get older you realise that basically every second person you know takes stuff. 56. Ever watched The Hills? - yeah 57. What about Jersey Shore? - you've no idea how much I love Snooki 58. Ever called someone a slut? - I'd be lying if I said no and lying is my biggest pet peeve. 59. What do you think of short shorts? - go for it! 60. Does it bother you if people swear around you? - no, I'm a big potty mouth 61. Have you ever gotten an A in a subject? - yeah 62. What about a B? - yeah 63. And a C? - yeah 64. How about a D? - yeah 65. Ever plagiarised? - does it count if you change the words around? Lol 66. Would you consider yourself popular and outcast or somewhere in the middle? - closer down the scale to outcast but not fully there. 67. Are most of your friends older or younger than you? - half and half. Work friends are older. Friends I've met through my boyfriend are a year younger. 68. Ever been stabbed In the back by a close friend? - probably in high school, not for years. 69. Do you think it’s immature when people laugh at the number 69? - yeah but we all do it right? 70. Ever watched Porn? - yeah 71. How many laws do you think you’ve broken in the past month? - none. Unless there's some law I'm unaware of but it would be a silly one. 72. Do you wake up with an alarm clock? - I set one but Dex usually wakes me first. 73. Do you prefer Wednesdays or Thursdays? - Thursdays 74. If your school had a Glee Club would you join? - probably not, I'm not a very good singer 75. Ever performed in a talent show? - yeah, we played minority by green day and I sang and we won but I think that's cause the band were good! 76. Have you ever cried in public? - too many times 77. Do you have a favorite between your Mom and your Dad? - I don't have a mum, so my dad. 78. Would you audition for a reality talent competition? - no 79. How many celebrity crushes have you had? - a few in my time 80. How many non-celebrity crushes have you had? - probably a good 20 lol 81. Name 5 male celebrities who you think are attractive. - Ashton kutcher, Harry styles, Justin bobby, villa valo in his old days and Robert pattinson 82. Name 5 female celebrities who you think are attractive. - Taylor Swift, jo jo from the bachelor, Selena Gomez, emelia clarke and Kristen Stewart 83. Ever been compared to a celebrity? - someone once told me I look like Sandra bullock and another person once said Cheryl cole, I was hugely complimented both times! 84. Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? - I don't get embarrassed easily. 85. Do you think spending 20$ on Lip Gloss is a waste of money? - solid yes 86. Ever used Opinionated? - no? 87. Do you have a favorite store? - I like primary, cheap and cheerful. 88. Would you ever wear Flare Jeans? - no. 89. Do you own jeans that aren’t skinny? - no 90. Have you ever worn the same outfit twice in one week? - like a billion times 91. What’s the longest period of time you’ve been away from school? - probably about two weeks when I was younger 92. Do you google abbreviations you don’t understand? - have done 93. Does it bother you when people have cats as their profile picture? - no if I had a cat she'd be everywhere 94. Own a pair of converse? - yes 95. Is there a teacher at your school who has obvious favorites? - I'm not at school but I was and yes there was. Although I hate to say this, but speaking as someone who works in a school it's hard not to have favourites. But I'd hope I never showed it. 96. If yes, are you one of them? - I think I was favourite for a few yes. 97. Do you text in class? - I didn't have a mobile phone when I was at school lol 98. What brand of jeans do you wear the most? - no idea. Probably new look. 99. At what point do you think sizes are “Plus Sized?” Most magazines say 10. Do you agree? - I don't know if that's a 10 in U.K. Or America. However either way I don't think it's tasteful to label body shapes/sizes in any case. 100. Do you want to lose weight? - yes, says her who doesn't like labelling. But I think if you're doing it for yourself then it's fine. 101. Ever seen a therapist? - no. 102. Ever watched porn?- how many times you gunna ask that? 103. Ever purposely ignored a text? - several. 104. A facebook message? - yes. 105. A poke? - lol, yeah 106. A friend request?- yeah 107. Would you say you read into things too much? - definitely, I've already said it's my biggest flaw. 108. Is your best friend more likely to be the one suggesting something stupid or refusing to do something stupid? - refusing. She's a wise owl. 109. Do you have a “fun friend?” (A friend who you have tons of fun with but you never really have deep conversations?) - a few 110. Ever been called a bully? - by my son when I don't let him get what he wants all the time lol 111. Ever purposely hurt yourself? - unfortunately, yes. 112. Ever gone to church? - not willingly. 113. Would you call either or your parents screw ups? - my mum committed suicide and I've struggled with it. Half of me knows she was mentally ill and I shouldn't hold a grudge and the other half of me just feels it's the most selfish act a person can commit, especially when they are leaving their children behind to deal with it. 114. If you turned out exactly like your Dad would you be pleased? - I'm a lot like him, I'm glad to have a lot of his better trates. 115. What about your Mom? - I didn't know her well enough to comment. 116. Let me guess… You have brown hair? - yes 117. Already know what you’re being for Halloween? - not really 118. Do you still go Trick or Treating? - yes with my kid 119. Ever liked someone WAY older than you? - no 120. Does it bother you when people have really loud conversations on the bus? - no, it's free entertainment lol 121. When you have sunglasses on, do you stare at people? - never really thought about it 122. Ever had a credit card denied? - no 123. What’s the last movie you watched? - Jurassic world 124. Last TV Show? - greys anatomy 125. You see your Ex making out with one of your friends. What do you do? - wish my friend wasn't so silly, for their own sake. But I wouldn't be upset, just worried. 126. Ever been called a whore? - yeah 127. Ever sang the national anthem? - jokingly 128. Ever made yourself throw up? - when I've been way too hungover yes. 129. Have you ever kissed someone who wasn’t your boyfriend. - yeah, not while with my boyfriend though 130. Are you Cute or Gross? - a nice mixture of both I guess 131. Does it bother you when people say “LOOK HOW MUCH YOU’VE GROWN!” - I haven't grown height wise in years so yeah it would lol 132. Can you say intelligent things around the guy you like? - I hope I do often. 133. Ever had the lead in a play? - no 134. What about a solo in a concert? - no 135. What kind of a student are you? - I'm not one 136. Worst grade you’ve ever gotten with a Letter? - D 137. Worst grade you’ve ever gotten with a number? - none 138. Ever had a crush on a teacher? - yeah 139. Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant? - I don't have one 140. How late do you sleep in? - as late as I possible can 141. Do you edit your profile pictures before posting them? - no 142. Be 100% honest. Do you have any friends who are uglier than you? - I have friends who others might think aren't as pretty or whatever but all of my friends are beautiful people and that's why they are my friends 143. Do you believe in all that inner beauty crap? - I believe it isn't crap. 144. Would you consider yourself a good student? - I think I would be nowadays 145. Does it bother you when Surveys ask “Did you like this survey?” - a bit 146. Salty, Sweet, Sour or Spicy? - sweet 147. Are you going into High School this year? - no 148. What about Junior High? - no 149. What is one thing someone could say to you right now that would make you cry? - tell me something bad about someone I loved. 150. Where did you find this note? - google 151. Last question. How many unread messages are in your phone? - none, I can't deal with notifications.

[a-goose-egg]

Chicken wings

It was a fine fall friday evening in Massachusetts. I had been there for just a couple of months, a skinny, sweet-faced Indian kid, already missing everything he had left back in India. A fellow American grad student with whom I shared the occupancy of my university lab approached me in earnest. Ever since I had made his acquaintance, he had been the recipient of daily complaints about how American food was so flavorless compared to spicy Indian food. Today, he had decided to expose me to something called “Buffalo chicken wings”. You want spicy, I’ll show you spicy, said my labmate whom I’ll call Burt because that was his name.

“Buffalo chicken wings, huh”, I said. It was the first time I was hearing about this zoological oddity. We took the campus bus to our local mall housing the Ground Round brewing company that was our destination for these wings.

The menu in the Ground Round rated wings from 1 to 5 fire alarms in increasing severity of heat. Since Instagram did not exist at the time, Burt was ready with pad and pencil to sketch my reaction to the heat explosion. The waiter arrived to take our order.

“I’ll do a dozen of the 3-alarm wings”, I said, just to be on the safe side.

Burt was shocked. “Are you sure, these things kick ass”, he said. His concern for my well-being touched me to the very core of my core.

“Okay wait”, I said to the waiter, “I’ll go with the 2-alarm wings instead”. Burt looked relieved.

The wings arrived in due course. I took a tentative bite. Burt was scanning my face for my reaction. My face was blank. The wings were bland. Not spicy at all.

“Burt”, I said, “This is not hitting the spot. They are not even in the same zip code as the spot.”

Burt was confused. “Okay let’s try the 3-alarm wings”, he suggested.

We ordered the 3-alarm wings.

They were less bland but still pretty bland.

We ordered the 4-alarm wings. Nothing. I was getting impatient now. The spice clock in my body was ticking.

We ordered the 5-alarm wings.

When the wings arrived, Burt’s eyes started to water. He was holding the menu between himself and the wings to shield his face from the fumes.

I took a bite. The vinegar fumes were blinding me but I still couldn’t taste the spice. What. The. Fuck.

“This is IT”, I yelled, “I’m done with this”. I jumped out of the booth so hard the wings fell to the floor. “Let’s go, Burt”, I demanded.

“He’s holding a 5-alarm”, whimpered a guy cowering underneath the table next to us.

I pointed a wing at him. “Don’t do anything stupid and no one gets hurt”, I said.

We slowly backed out of the bar and fled to the bus stop to wait for the next bus back to campus.

Chicken wings are America’s “guilty pleasure”, ”finger food”, “watch sports and drink copious amounts of alcohol while eating crap” crap. But chicken wings are also something much better than all these things. Chicken wings are where American cuisine leaves its boring roots, spreads its wings and flirts with the gods of world cuisine watching over us as we try to live out our life on this doomed planet. Chicken wings can be cooked and spiced in a thousand different ways; fried, roasted, mild, hot, buffalo, garlic, parmesan ranch, honey barbecue, tandoori, Sichuan, teriyaki, I could go on forever. Chicken wings are adaptable enough to accommodate every single palate and lifestyle in the world except vegetarian, pescaterian and cannibal.

Every American has their favorite wing joint, a place they will swear by and scamper off to during the zombie apocalypse to spend the remaining few hours of their life in wingful bliss. As part of my ongoing quest to find such a place for myself I visited the Pizza time saloon, a bar near my house. Word on the street was, their wings were the absolute bomb. I hailed the bartender and requested the wings, with the caveat that they be the hottest he could possibly make them.

The bartender stared at my face and said, “Are you Indian”?

“Yes”, I replied, “why?”

He leaned in conspiratorially and whispered into my ear, “Would you like to try…The Indian Special?”

“The Indian Special?”, I said, confused but also mildly aroused.

He gave me the scoop. Apparently quite a few regular patrons of this bar were Indian, employed in the pharmaceutical company next door. One day, frustrated with the blandness of the 40 cent buffalo wings they were being fed during happy hour, they had conducted a peaceful civil disobedience movement in the kitchen until the chef concocted a wing recipe that was spicy and flavorful enough for their tastes.

“So, how about it?” said the bartender.

“Yes please, I’ll have a dozen Indian Specials”, I replied.

When the wings arrived they looked nothing like a typical buffalo wing. The disobedience had certainly paid off. The wings were covered in a chunky dark sauce replete with an ominous amount of red pepper flakes dotting every millimeter of the wing. The scent of garam masala and chilli powder wafted up into the atmosphere. If you closed your eyes you could still hear the buffalo sauce screaming silently in the background but that was all that remained of it. They were garnished with cilantro and it was clear that the blue cheese accompaniment had no idea what the hell was going on.

The flavor was terrific. The spice was just hot enough to make me tear up but not weep profusely like I had done back in college during a theatrical screening of Kabhi Haan Kabhi Naa when the girl I had a crush on presented a rose to someone else on Valentine’s day.

I had found my go-to zombie apocalypse wing place.

A few years later, I was birding with my friend Duck on the grounds of an abandoned psychiatric facility. I apologize for the hard segue but there is a context, wait for it. After a fair bit of peeking into partially broken windows of abandoned buildings hoping to see disenchanted spirits and staring into trees trying to spot yellow warblers and orioles, we realized that we were both ghoulishly hungry and thirsty. Quickly I google mapped the nearest bar. As it so happened, there was one right within these desolate grounds. We drove there and found ourselves standing outside the Shanahan bar and grill. It appeared that once upon a time this establishment used to be a single family home, now converted into a bar with a cozy interior and more importantly, a nice patio area in the back facing the woods. Google had advised me that this place was famous for its hot wings. Confident in our ability to tackle the hottest the Buffalo world had to offer, we ordered the “complete total insanity” wings. The waitress looked us dead in the eyes and said, “Are. you. sure?”

Look, in my defense, I’ve experienced this question in bars and restaurants all across the US. As a person of Indian descent I am offended whenever someone questions my ability to consume the spiciest foods, meats and soups their establishment has to offer. And therefore, staring sternly back at her, I replied, “Yes, ma’am, I am very sure. Please. Bring them on.”

We sat in that scenic patio with a view of the decrepit asylum buildings, drinking our Sam Adams Boston Lager in the early spring sunshine, watching red-bellied woodpeckers tapping on the forest wall and waiting for our wings. When the wings arrived they looked innocuous, even benign. I would even go so far as to call them congenial. When I bent down for a light sniff I did not detect toxic fumes upon my face or nostrils. So Duck and I, we each picked up a wing and took a bite.

Oh, how pernicious, you wing. The sauce was not vinegar-based and that’s why there was a lack of facial assault. But the spice was pure powdered habanero. The wing was fierce. I chewed on gamely and took another bite. Duck coughed gently and excused himself to go to the bathroom. In his absence I began to weep freely. I took another bite. At this point my goal in life was simply to finish this one goddamn wing without dying. What had hell wrought upon us? I finally finished it but my mouth was acres of wildfire, not to mention my fingers and everything they had touched on my face. I went to wash my hands and face in the bathroom. Duck was there, completely drenched, slapping water all over his entire body. Duck was crying. Duck and I, we lay on the floor for a while hugging each other and wishing for death that never came.

I boxed the rest of those wings and took them home. I had a goddamn biological weapon in my possession that I had paid good money for and I fully intended to use it.

Monday, when I got to work, I dispatched the following missive to the company email list:

Gentlemen,

In the fridge, there are 8 chicken wings. These are no ordinary wings. These are wings of death. As you know, I am Indian and we eat, drink and breathe spicy. When we get hurt, we stop the bleeding by sprinkling red pepper flakes on the wound.

But these wings defeated me. I was unable to make it past 1 and it was a near death experience.

Here are the challenges, should you choose to accept them:

Eat 4 of these wings and I will pay you $20.

Consume all 8 and I will pay your surviving next of kin $50.

Who among you is up for this?

Note: You will sign a waiver absolving me of all liability before you embark upon this feat. Also, please make sure you notify your next of kin.

Only serious challengers need apply.

A few minutes after lunch Brian and Tony approached me. Brian is a fresh faced sales guy and Tony was in tech support, a hefty former college football player. They had perused my email, had a quick conference and decided that they would take on my wing challenge as a team. I told them that I would pay them $20 each if they managed to stuff four wings each down their bellies. They agreed to these terms.

The moment the clock struck 5 the entire company began to trickle into the kitchen area. Word had spread all afternoon about Brian and Tony accepting my challenge. The contestants walked in and it was on.

I microwaved the wings for 30 seconds, just to loosen up the sauces and the hurt. They each picked up a wing.

Five years later, the one thing I remember vividly from this day is Brian’s face. Brian is a very attractive dude with a shapely round white face. As I watched his face get redder and redder and eyes start to bulge from their sockets, I remember wondering if his face was going to literally explode. Tony, on the other hand, is a big swarthy Italian guy so his agony was manifest more through choking sounds and tears. I have to give it up to both of them, they plodded through the wings gamely. I cannot begin to imagine what was happening to their body on the inside and on the outside. The moment they were done they ran to the fridge and emptied an entire carton of heavy cream between themselves.

The next day we received an update on what had transpired after they left work. Driving home, Brian had experienced severe acid reflux as never before and had to stop at a pharmacy to purchase antacids that cost more than 20 bucks, thus effectively putting him at a monetary loss. Furthermore, after he reached home he was severely chastised by his wife for his decision to even accept such a death defying challenge in the first place as a married man with familial responsibilities.

On his way home, Tony had to stop multiple times to vomit by the side of the road. He was reticent to describe what had happened after he reached home but I suspect it’s because the college football player within him was loathe to reveal such delicate details to a largely mirthful audience.

So seeing as we have reached the end of my autobiographical chicken wing ruminations, allow me to let you in on my personal recipe for hot wings. Roast the wings in an oven until they’re crispy. The base for your sauce should be vinegar, Frank’s hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce, chopped fresh garlic and most importantly, butter. Heat this stuff together then go wild improvising the spice aspect. A few suggestions: freshly chopped peppers (jalapenos / habaneros / Indian green chillies / literally any hot chilli pepper in the world), powdered heat (cayenne / chipotle / chilli powder / smoked or Hungarian hot paprika / garam masala). Mix it all together with the base sauce and toss the wings in it.

And welcome to wing heaven.

[handwrytten]

All

This was either Abbie @between-awake-and-asleep​ or Nikk @drxcomclfoy​ and rest assured that I am NOT HAPPY about it

Regardless, the 150 answers I gave are under the cut.

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

I honestly have no idea. Probably one of the kids from the day care I work at. Probably Neva or Millie.

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

I’m pretty outgoing

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Anyone, really. But, if I had to pick one person, Jace, since I’m gonna see them soon (!!!)

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Depends who you ask. I think I’m delightful.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

I don’t “”��like””” anyone atm except for the tumblr crush on @tethmos​ but he’s far away. However, I believe if we were closer he’d take care of me in this circumstance

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

boy: *acts even a little bit kind to me under any circumstance*

me: ***

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Do I look like a fortune teller (also, no)

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Nikk and Abbie, since I’m still angry about this ask

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Depends on who with. I generally don’t mind. It’s just sex; I’ll talk about it with my friends, not with my parents.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Myself at midnight last night. If you mean other people, definitely Nikk

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“cock sucking mother fucking twat”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

“Rooftop Duet/Falling” – Ordinary Days

“Breathe” – In the Heights

“The Next Ten Minutes” – The Last Five Years

“I’ll Cover You (Reprise)” – Rent

“Words Fail” – Dear Evan Hansen

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

I don’t have much of it, but sure

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Sometimes.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

I was in a musical!!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

To quote Hamlet, Act III, Scene iii, Line 87:

“No”

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Probably. I mean, the universe is literally infinitely large.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

Nah not really

19. Do you like bubble baths?

In the way that I don’t like looking at myself naked and bubbles cover it.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

MY NEIGHBORS ARE THE BEST NEIGHBORS FIGHT ME

21. What are you bad habits?

Literally everything I do. (bite fingernails, pick nose/ears, laugh too loud, etc)

22. Where would you like to travel?

Anywhere larger than the keyhole of the world I have seen.

23. Do you have trust issues?

Always. Wait, who told you I did? Did someone say something about me??

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

SLEEPING

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

The big pudgy part right in front me. It literally enters my room before my feet most of the time.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Go back to bed, or regret it.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Nah, I’m okay. If anything, I’d say lighter, because my mom is super white and people don’t really believe she’s my mom in the beginning.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

I’m most comfortable alone.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

One, but the relationship I then entered in lasted one (1) week and was only physical \(’-’)/

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Assuming that I still can when I am able, sure, but I’m not sure monogamy is for me. I have some really bad commitment issues

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

hahahahahahaahahahhahahahahaahahhahaha *breathe* haahahahaha hahahahahahaha

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Chris Pratt (gotg2 version) and James Corden

33. Spell your name with your chin.

“Hello this is chin for the last 18 years I have been living in silence awaiting my time. Brethren, we ride at da–”

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Nope

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV but I’d probably kill myself either way tbh

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

All of the crushes I’ve had

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

“that darn economy”

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Nah man that invites hope and I don’t do that shit anymore

But, alas, if I must… He’d be kinda tall and he’d be a tenor and he’d be bulky, like not fat but kinda husky, and we’d cuddle forever because he’s always warm.He can cook too.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

FYE and GameStop

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Bitch I don’t know and I’m out of high school

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Yes. However, if they fucked up a second chance with someone else, I wouldn’t give them mine.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m either really angry or sad. One of the two.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

As often as I can

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Bottom of the ocean. There’s so much down there and I can go farther than I could in outer space. Who wants to visit the moon? pfft

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

My alarm clock and a lot of spite

46. What are you paranoid about?

(D) All of the above

47. Have you ever been high?

Nope

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Nuh-uh

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Definitely.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Bright banana yellow.

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Always

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

I’m tempted to say my weight, but really, I’d change my self-control, since if I was more focused and/or motivated I might actually lose the weight

53. Favourite makeup brand?

Man idk can I be done with these now

54. Favourite store?

this was literally question 39

55. Favourite blog?

@drxcomclfoy​ @mochaontherocks @pvedameron @zoiekravitz

56. Favourite colour?

Yellow or Black

57. Favourite food?

Cheese nuggets from the pizza store in town.

58. Last thing you ate?

Popcorn

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Cereal

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Actually, I don’t think so…

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

no

62. Been arrested? For what?

*in Spanish* no

63. Ever been in love?

Probably not, but I wouln’t know if I was.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

So basically it was the football game AFTER homecoming, and it was the night I came out. I told my mom first, then my dad, and both had been like “cool” and I was young and foolish and didn’t know that walking around holding hands with my boyfriend was generally frowned upon. He kissed me on the lips, just a peck, but I’m counting it because my first french kiss was actually even more embarrassing.

65. Are you hungry right now?

Nope. I just ate a really big breakfast (at the time of writing this. I started this answer last night so it might change before I’m done)

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

I don’t have real life friends. I haven’t seen most/any of them in like a month

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Facebook (I don’t have Twitter)

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr (I don’t have Twitter)

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Yep, Friends.

70. Names of your bestfriends?

Jace, Abbie, and... um, I’m forgetting someone... oh yeah! Nikk ;)

71. Craving something? What?

The touch of a man

72. What colour are your towels?

Beige

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Too many (actually, like, five)

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Yes, I have a teddy bear named Mr. Cuddles who protects me from the monsters

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

A lot. Like, at least 50 in my house and at least 25 in my room

75. Favourite animal?

Dogs, probably. I feel like there was one that I loved but I don’t remember it

76. What colour is your underwear?

Right now? Gray and white patterns

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Cotton candy blizzard from DQ

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Red (USA! USA! USA!)

80. What colour pants?

Khaki shorts

81. Favourite tv show?

HTGAWM or Friends

82. Favourite movie?

Perks of Being a Wallflower I think. I don’t really have one

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

What the fuck is Mean Girls 2??

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Man you guys love Mean Girls. Definitely Damian.

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Dory

87. First person you talked to today?

My mom

88. Last person you talked to today?

My mom (I don’t get out much)

89. Name a person you hate?

G*vin

90. Name a person you love?

My mom

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Anyone who either A) apologizes for Snape’s behavior or B) violently ships R/eylo

92. In a fight with someone?

nein

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

One pair? I think?

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Too Many

95. Last movie you watched?

Captain America: Civil War

96. Favourite actress?

Viola Davis

97. Favourite actor?

Ben Platt

98. Do you tan a lot?

I tan naturally

99. Have any pets?

A dog named Piper (@between-awake-and-asleep she’s the best piper) 

100. How are you feeling?

Eh

101. Do you type fast?

Fast enough, especially when I want to be done with stuff. Like this.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Who doesn’t?

103. Can you spell well?

W-E-L-L

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

I used to be really great friends with my neighbor but we grew apart. IDK we’re both a little annoying.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yeah

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

I don’t think so, but I’m not exactly in touch with my exes to know about it if I had

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Unfortunately, yeah. Those fuckers are terrifying

108. What should you be doing?

I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WHICH KINDA SUCKS

109. Is something irritating you right now?

MY LACK OF MOTIVATION

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Only this one kid

111. Do you have trust issues?

refer to question 23

(seriously though I already did this question!!!!!)

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My therapist

113. What was your childhood nickname?

“that guy”

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yeah, plenty of times

115. Do you play the Wii?

Not anymore. Who the hell plays a Wii still??

116. Are you listening to music right now?

No

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Kinda, I guess

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Nah

119. Favourite book?

I’ll Give You The Sun by Jandy Nelson

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

... Yeah...

121. Are you mean?

Sometimes

122. Is cheating ever okay?

No?? What kind of question is this

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Never

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

No, not really

125. Do you believe in true love?

Not the way the movies do it

126. Are you currently bored?

YES

127. What makes you happy?

Sleep. Nikk. Reading

128. Would you change your name?

Only a little bit

129. What your zodiac sign?

Cancer

130. Do you like subway?

Never ridden one.

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do

Didn’t I answer this already? I mean, I may be wrong, but you should already know about my being queer as a three dollar bill.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

QUESTION 10

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

“I know that I’ll never stand as tall as these buildings, I’ll never quite reach the sky...”

-- “Rooftop Duet/Falling” from Ordinary Days

134. Can you count to one million?

Probably, but I’d never really try

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

“I’m straight”

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed

137. How tall are you?

Nearly 6 feet

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Curly

139. Brunette or Blonde?

It doesn’t matter

140. Summer or Winter?

WINTER

141. Night or Day?

n i g h t

142. Favourite month?

Isn’t this damn ask over yet

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Does bacon have meat? Yes?? Then fucking no

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Milk

145. Tea or Coffee?

Coffee

146. Was today a good day?

It’s not over

147. Mars or Snickers?

Is there really a planet called Snickers?

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“And when the abyss looks into you - and it will - may you look back unflinching.” 

-- Neal Shusterman, Challenger Deep  

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yeah I guess

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

"Nobody could hear anybody with these stupid masks on” Trent Reedy, Divided We Fall

[365footballorg-blog]

Armchair Analyst: With US out, here's how I'll watch the 2018 World Cup

June 13, 20189:00AM EDT

It is finally here, the long summer of our discontent made glorious autumn – soon enough, anyway – by the fall of teams I will be rooting against with all my heart.

That is one of my two planks for this 2018 World Cup. Please understand that the US failure to qualify has devastated me, but also freed me. It means that I can go into this tournament unshackled from the soul-crushing worry over “my” team; the impotent fury at coaching malpractice; the utter despair at in-the-moment, on-field mistakes; the numb resignation when it all inevitably comes crashing down and breathes its last.

I don’t think I’ll miss that. I think I’ll enjoy watching a World Cup without a mental countdown clock tracking the hours, minutes and seconds between now and “When do we play next and oh, God what if we lose?”

Now I get to think about what other teams do when they lose. I like that more.

And that leads me to plank No. 2: misery leads to innovation. Fear of failure leads to innovation. Desperation leads to innovation. I’m trying to get through this paragraph without typing “necessity is the mother of invention” but I’m just not gonna be able to do it, so there we are.

Amongst the things I love most about our game are the tactical tweaks – some big, some little – teams and coaches make from game-to-game, and sometimes in the run of play itself. The way we think about soccer is always evolving, so it makes sense that the way the game’s played is always evolving, and that keeps the sport fresh and new pretty much no matter who’s playing.

Of course, the best tactical tweaks and inventions are ones born of a solid, fundamental and consistent structure in the first place. If you have that underlying, thoroughly understood identity then you’re positioned to make meaningful (if incremental) progress, and that’s the type of thing that wins.

If you don’t…

JCO’s Wild Ride

Juan Carlos Osorio guided a good New York Red Bulls team to an appearance in the 2008 MLS Cup final, doing so with a relatively young and promising squad. As most coaches would do he … actually no, as very few coaches would do, he didn’t build on that. Osorio blew it all up in 2009 and went back to his tinkering ways. The same RBNY team that had made MLS Cup in 2008 went 2-16-4 in 2009, he was fired, and they went 3-3-2 down the stretch with an interim coach. They have not missed the playoffs since his departure.

Osorio’s predecessor and successor had better records with RBNY than he did. His predecessor and successor had better records at Puebla than he did, at Atletico Nacional than he did, and at Sao Paolo than he did, and it’s because he can not stop tinkering. His motto appears to be “If it ain’t broke, take it apart and find out why not.” 

Osorio is currently doing the same thing to Mexico. Ask 100 El Tri fans what the team’s best lineup is and you will get 100 different answers, and chances are that actual lineup will have gotten some playing time together.

“Great!” you think, “That’s a manager who’s willing to try new things!”

“Yes,” I reply, “but the one truly new thing he needs to try is building cohesion and team chemistry, which he’s not done.”

Osorio no termina por entender que estos ya no son días para experimentar en la cancha… no contra #Dinamarca, mucho menos, a una semana de enfrentar a #Alemania #ElTri

— Pedro Dorantes  (@PedroDorantes98) June 9, 2018

For non-Spanish speakers out there, the translation of that tweet is “Oh, my god, we’re going to get killed by Germany if this man does not pick a lineup that works together and then stick with it.”

And Mexico fans know what’s up because they got slaughtered 4-1 by Germany in last year’s Confederations Cup. And they got worked by Chile, 7-0, in the previous summer’s Copa America. Osorio’s overall record with El Tri is 31-9-8, but in three tournaments there’ve been three colossally disappointing showings. Here’s what I wrote about his tenure heading into last summer’s Concacaf Gold Cup (which indeed goes down as one of those colossally disappointing showings):

Mexico are probably a top 8-ish team in the entire world in terms of their raw talent, which is why they win most of their games. But they have continually struggled against top-tier competition (7-0 vs. Chile, 4-1 vs. Germany, a draw and a loss vs. a Portuguese team that is a cut below those two) because they are constantly, bafflingly, rotating players and lineups and formations and roles and responsibilities.

And so you get a team that gets bounced from the Copa America because they have no idea how to handle a simple cross-field switch, or how to stop a breakaway. And then you have the same team bounced from the Confederations Cup 12 months later for the exact same reasons. Juan Carlos Osorio just does not believe in the power of reps.

…I do wonder if Mexico will stop being a pieced-together Frankenstein’s Monster and start looking like a contiguous whole that’s greater than the sum of its parts.

One way or another this is the end for JCO with Mexico. Over the next couple of weeks, we’ll get to see whether his experiments were meant to culminate in something, or if they were just an endless, pointless excuse for more experiments.

Choose Your Underdog

Or, actually, don’t. I understand why people were charmed by the likes of Iceland in the 2016 Euros and how great it is for the country of Panama to be making their debuts. I hope all the players play well and get paid, because careers are short and World Cup glory is long. I wish none of them any ill.

But I’m not going to root for them. They play ugly, destructive soccer – against, not with the ball – and honestly, no thanks.

Know what I’m charmed by? Passing. Those little moments of magic where two or three or four or all 11 players are working in sync to disorient and destroy the opposition, to create angles and channels and goals.

If you’re gonna root for someone, don’t choose David. Choose Goliath.

Ride or Die

To that end, I will be supporting (such as it was) Lionel Messi and Argentina. Messi is the greatest soccer player who’s ever lived – he is impossible – and I would appreciate the cosmic justice of him finally being on the right side of the scoreline in a final for his country.

He doesn’t and shouldn’t need that to cement his status as the GOAT. Just look at this:

[embedded content]

I’ll also admit that I still love the 4-4-2 diamond and am pleased that Argentina are playing a version of it (though Jorge Sampaoli insists it’s a 2-3-3-2). Yes, I’m rooting for a formation.

The Next 5-4-1

Let’s stay on the topic of formations. Costa Rica are a particularly miserable team to play against because 1) they’re talented; 2) usually well-coached; and 3) utterly aware of their strengths and weaknesses. And their strength boils down to thinking along these lines: “When we play compact, we are almost impossible to break down, and that means our opponent will get frustrated, and that means we can hit them on the counter.”

That’s how the Ticos got to the quarterfinals of the 2014 World Cup.

But the surprise factor of the 5-4-1 was part of it as well. It’s a formation few had seen much of, globally, to that point, but one that’s come into vogue and has been a favorite of underdogs worldwide ever since. Each weekend you can see a handful of MLS teams attempting it (the Colorado Rapids tried and failed in Houston on Saturday), and while a formation is not tactics, formations and tactics work hand-in-hand.

Four years ago, Costa Rica’s formation worked to flummox Uruguay, Italy and England. Now it’s gone global.

Will something similar happen this tournament? I kind of hope so, though I’d rather see an aggressive, attacking formation steal the spotlight. (How about a 3-3-4 with a No. 9 who drops in off the frontline to turn and play runners through?)

Time To Shop

The Secondary Transfer Window opens July 10, and runs through August 8, providing a time of renewed hope and great expectations. MLS teams have more money than they’ve ever had before. You do the math.

Here’s a few players I hope coaches here are watching:

Gaston Silva, LB/LCB, Uruguay/Independiente (24 years old)

Ismael Diaz, FW/W, Panama/Deportivo B (20 years old)

William Troost-Ekong, CB, Nigeria/Bursaspor (24 years old)

Miguel Borja, FW, Colombia/Palmeiras (25 years old)

Let me know who you’re keeping an eye on, too.

Series: 

Topics: 

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World Cup Bracket

Who do you think will win the World Cup? Make your picks now!

Put your soccer knowledge to the test in one of many public leagues, or grab your friends, family or whoever and set up your own summer soccer showdown. Tons of great prizes are available. learn more

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Armchair Analyst: With US out, here's how I'll watch the 2018 World Cup was originally published on 365 Football

[type2diabetestreatments-blog]

What's Hot from ADA 2012 - t:slim Pump, T1D Exchange, Youth Transitions and More

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What's Hot from ADA 2012 - t:slim Pump, T1D Exchange, Youth Transitions and More

Sixteen-thousand doctors, scientists, and other healthcare providers. Hundreds of Pharma industry folks and food and diabetes supply vendors manning 171 booths in a cavernous exhibit hall. Over 2,500 research reports, plus over 2,000 more studies presented on mini-billboards known as research posters. More than 150 live sessions where experts present nearly 378 reports on every imaginable aspect of diabetes in the human body.

This is the American Diabetes Association annual Scientific Sessions conference, taking place this year from June 8-12 in Philadelphia. Once again, we are there.

First impressions?

Amy: "I love the focus on behavioral issues and on youths transitioning into adulthood with diabetes this year. Those are two areas that are traditionally so underserved! So it's great to see a lot of new research in that area. Also, no one's saying 'pipe dream' about Artificial Pancreas technology anymore, are they?!"

Mike: "Being my first-ever time attending, let me just say... WOW! I'm amazed at the scope of everything going on. It's an incredible experience with a lot to absorb. But at the same time it's a little disappointing to feel like a lot of these experts are missing the point; it's not about stats, graphs, and scientific concepts. It's about us as people and patients."

Allison: "It's always remarkable to see so many people focusing in the intricacies of diabetes. Each time I attend conferences, I gain even more appreciation for how complicated this disease is! But I also bemoan the fact diabetes is so complicated... Advancements just never seem to come fast enough, do they?!"

Device Updates

On the technology side, the big buzz was of course the official launch of Tandem's t:slim insulin pump, a sleek little model with color touch screen reminiscent of Apple products. We wrote about the t:slim in some detail last fall. The company is taking orders as of today, and the product will ship to customers starting in August. Insurance coverage is still TBD, and the out-of-pocket price tag is about $5,000.

At a "Product Theater" presentation Saturday, conference-goers got to see a full live demo of the t:slim's features and functionality. It sure as heck looks easy and intuitive to use! One function that I thought was awesome is a little "IOB clock" that appears on the home screen, showing how much "insulin on board" is still active in your system, complete with a time count-down to let you know when it's wearing off. Useful! Look for more details on the t:slim launch from us soon.

On the topic of next-generation pumps: conspicuously absent from ADA this year were the Debiotech folks with their wireless, smartphone-connected Jewel Pump, which made such an impression a few years ago.

But looking at their site, it seems they're in the midst of a multi-center user study in Europe on an algorithm for a closed-loop system including the Dexcom sensor, as part of the European Artificial Pancreas consortium. So maybe they're holding back on a pump introduction until they can offer a more integrated system. We'll keep you posted.

Another pre-FDA-approval wireless pump from CellNovo that includes integrated glucose testing and can actually be controlled via cell phone was getting a lot of attention in its expo booth, despite the fact that nothing much seems to have changed since the system was demo'ed last summer. Company reps tell us the product's doing well in Europe, but U.S. FDA approval is being held back by two things: an upgrade from 3G to 4G wireless technology. and a necessary changeover to the OneTouch Verio test strip (in Europe the system currently uses another, which is not sold in the U.S.). They're also in the midst of a UK-based usability trial.

The new iBGStar meter was of course on display, and Sanofi had an eye-popping 3D movie showcasing this device that passed FDA approval in December. We were already impressed, as it's the first and only cable-free meter that connects directly to an iPhone and iPod touch, but there's nothing like a bunch of doctors wearing red 3D glasses oohing and aahhing through a film about a BG meter taking them on a journey through time! (Actually, the film almost made it look like iBGStar is continuous glucose monitor, if you just watched it without knowing any better.)

Remember the all-in-one Pogo ("Press & Go") blood meter by Intuity Medical? Well, it was on display again (five years running) but it's still not available to buy. The company says they filed for FDA approval last summer. The most noticeable change is that the motor's even quieter now (as in, you can barely hear it lance). No blood or needle seen, thanks to the 10-strip drum inside. They've also got a separate FDA submission filed for a web-based data software called Patterns that would be downloadable for free. The Pogo looks cool, but we've seen this for so many years, the story is the same: let us know when it hits the market!

T1D Exchange National Type 1 Registry!

One of the most exciting things announced here, hands-down, was the Helmsley Charitable Trust official launch of its T1D Exchange Registry, "the most comprehensive analysis of people with type 1 diabetes ever undertaken in the United States." This new national registry has collected data from 25,000 participants to date from 67 clinics across the country, and the analysis of that data has yielded some very surprising things — mainly that A1Cs on the whole are too high for comfort, especially in the over-50 T1 crowd, which also had the highest rates of severe hypoglycemia and ER visits. I would've pegged adolescents, for sure!

What's particularly exciting with T1D Exchange is that this group is on a holy mission to help accelerate progress in research and development of new treatments. At a Saturday evening reception, the room was humming with anticipation as David Panzirer, Dana Ball and other project leaders outlined how T1D Exchange plans to act as a liaison between industry, regulatory, academic and patient groups to get things moving better, faster, and more productively. Patient-reported data is key to this, they say: "We'd love to transform the way clinical trials are done in America." Wow! Considering how much they've accomplished in just a year and a half — creating and launching the registry + fantastic online community called MyGlu.org (do check it out!) — I for one cannot wait to see where this group is going! (Disclosure: myself and a few other well-known DOCers are part of an outreach advisory board for this project.)

Insulin News

Novo's new degludec beat Lantus in lowering glucose in Type 2's in a recent study, but we heard word at the conference that FDA approval of degludec has been delayed until at least October.

Meanwhile, cancer risk from insulin was a key topic this year. A huge Sanofi-sponsored study showed that there was no increase in cancer risk from using Lantus, as had previously been reported. This will come as a relief to many, not least the company!

Another study, sponsored by the NIDDK (acronym ORIGIN), shows the first-ever clinical evidence that long-term use of any kind of insulin is safe! In more than 12,500 patients over a median of 6.2 years, researchers found that daily injections "neither increased or reduced the risk of heart attacks, strokes, cancer or cardiovascular-related mortality."

SGLT2 Inhibitors

This is a new class of drugs under development that works primarily by helping the body slough off excess glucose in urine — in a healthy way. Beohringer, Lilly and J&J are all working on a daily pill for type 2s that could hit market as early as 2013. J&J's canagliflozin is the most advanced to date and is already under evaluation by the FDA. These drugs also have promise for treating type 1s, I am told.

Further on the research side, here are some of the ADA updates we found most noteworthy:

Source: references to all research abstracts can be found on the ADA website here

* Transition of Youth to Adult PWDs

We love that this topic was finally in the spotlight! Remember just a few short years ago, when the diabetes establishment seemed to be oblivious to the fact that all puppies grow up to be dogs (err, all "juvenile diabetics" have to keep on truckin' after age 18)?

New research "sheds light on the health status and psychosocial challenges faced by this population." Unfortunately, the facts are grim. One study showed that non-diabetic college coeds scored higher than PWD youths on "purpose and life satisfaction," BUT the two groups scored the same on depressive symptoms, disordered eating, alcohol use, smoking and sleep quality. (So everyone has an equal opportunity to crash and burn in college years?)

Another study showed that type 1 adolescents were at 20% higher risk for suicidal tendencies than their non-D counterparts. Another showed that as young PWDs transition from pediatric care to adult doctors, they "experience sadness and loss over leaving the doctors with whom they had grown up, felt like their new doctors were more like partners in care but didn't know then as well and felt as if they needed to be matched with their new new doctors by personality style." Amen to that!

One more study in this area found that those who transition out of pediatric care too early face higher risks to their health, i.e. their A1Cs tend to shoot up once dropped into the free-falling world of "adult care." Maybe the next round of research here ought to be on how we can make adult diabetes care more like the nurturing world of pediatric care?

* Islet Cell Transplantation Update

The results are much more encouraging here. One study showed that a new method of transplanting islet cells into the liver, called the Clinical Islet Transplantation 07 (CIT07) protocol, actually helped transplanted cells survive better than the current gold standard "Edmonton Protocol." Both protocols use the same immuno-suppressing drugs, but with CIT07, the islet cells are "cultured" prior to transplantation. Results suggest that the immuno-suppressing drugs may not be toxic to islets, as previously suspected. Which is good news!

Two other studies looked into use of the drugs sitagliptin and pantoprazole with transplantation. Results showed that these meds can "augment beta cell function," but fall short of actually regenerating beta cells (i.e. no new cells are created).

Another study found that transplanted cells function better and may survive longer when the patient takes a long-acting GLP-1 analog. So after transplant surgery, you may be off insulin but have to use another injectable drug?

One more study looked at patients who've had their pancreas removed. Does tight BG control in the hospital immediately following islet cell transplantation help the cells survive better? It does appear that way.

A few other studies looked at patients with pancreatic tumors and pancreatitis. The upshot is that the more islet cells transplanted, the better for long-term outcomes. And in the case of the tumor patients, "isolating" the islet cells during transplant procedures is also beneficial.

The more they learn about successful transplantation techniques the better, I always say!

* LADA is Not Different (?)

Really?! In contrast to a session we reported on from the recent AACE conference (American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists), a study presented here at ADA testified that LADA (latent autoimmune diabetes in adults) is NOT a distinct form of auto-immune diabetes.

This multi-country European study did find a few differences by age of onset: those diagnosed younger tended to have lower BMI and earlier need for insulin therapy.

But they found "insufficient differences in auto-antibodies to characterize LADA" as anything other than plain old type 1 in grown-ups. And the debate marches on...

* "Sleep Yourself Healthy"

There's actually an expression in German: Schlaf Dich Gesund, which literally means you can "sleep yourself healthy." And now it's a proven scientific fact! At least according to two studies presented here at ADA.

The first showed that not getting enough sleep, and poor sleep quality, significantly raises risk of developing diabetes in those who are at-risk. Folks in the study who got a full night's rest were 60% less likely to be diagnosed.

A second study showed that folks with sleep apnea had significantly higher post-meal BG levels "associated with greater risk for cardiovascular events." Conclusion? "Sleep apnea may have a substantial impact upon glucose regulation" and it's bad for your heart too. Bah! If you've got sleep disorders, get 'em treated, please!

* "An Apple a Day..."

It's no wives' tale. Research now shows that eating more fruit per day ("equivalent to about one apple or two bananas") is associated with lower incidence of diabetic retinopathy. In this 8-year study, those who ate the most fruit had the lowest incidence of retinopathy. But wait: TWO BANANAS a day with diabetes?! My, that sounds like a BG control disaster to me. Makes me wonder: don't these researchers cross-reference their work? Surely the two-banana group suffered in terms of rising A1C results...?

* Do Pollution and Cow's Milk Trigger Type 1?

Who read Dan Hurley's book Diabetes Rising, outlining all the prominent theories on what may trigger type 1 diabetes? Yup, environmental pollution and early consumption of cow's milk are right up there on the top of the list. Two new studies that looked at pollutants (pesticides and heavy metal concentrations) found that "only lead seems to be associated with an increased risk for this condition." Heck, lead in your bloodstream is surely not good for any aspect of your health, IMHO.

So what about giving your baby cow's milk too early in life? Continued analysis from an ongoing study called DAISY (Diabetes Autoimmunity Study In the Young) showed that this does NOT contribute to risk of type 1 diabetes. However, infants who get fruit too early and rice and barley too late appeared to be at greater risk. Researchers conclude: "There is a complex relationship between the timing and type of food an infant is exposed to and his or her risk of developing type 1." (No pressure, new moms! Geez!!)

* Ancient Drug Could Help Type 2s

I'm quoting the press release on this one:

"In the first modern-day clinical trial of one of the world oldest drugs, researchers have found that salicylate, first used by the ancient Egyptians and Greeks to ease pain caused by inflammation, also has glucose-lowering properties and may be a potential treatment for people with type 2 diabetes."

The drug is derived from the bark of the willow tree, is relatively inexpensive, and is still used commonly for treating joint pain. "Nobody has ever looked before to see what other properties it might have," says principal investigator Dr. Steven Shoelson of Joslin Diabetes Center. In his study, it reduced A1C and fasting glucose levels in 286 T2 patients.

Wow. Back to basics, ay? Just like I recently discovered that good 'ol fashioned white vinegar cleans your house better than most of those fancy, expensive spray products. (Housewife tip!) Keep your eye out for more news on salicylate.

* Artificial Pancreas Update

So much work is being done in this area! Very exciting!

Some of you may have caught the JDRF/Helmsley AP webinar last week, so you heard that Medtronic is developing dual-sensor technology to increase the accuracy (i.e. safety) of a potential closed-loop system. Obviously, sensor reliability is key!

Disclaimer: Content created by the Diabetes Mine team. For more details click here.

Disclaimer

This content is created for Diabetes Mine, a consumer health blog focused on the diabetes community. The content is not medically reviewed and doesn't adhere to Healthline's editorial guidelines. For more information about Healthline's partnership with Diabetes Mine, please click here.

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