#it's even worse when you realize Helene was being mean to Lyla to try and get her to run away and live a happier life elsewhere

[shidoukanae]

reread the chapter w/ Lyla's last convo with Helene just to see if i can glean what's going on more and oh. Ohhh. OWWWW

so Helene fucked up her last chance to bond with her real sister, huh? and it's Helene who ultimately pushed Lyla to trade lives with the protagonist, huh?

All Helene had to do was admit she cared for Lyla and was checking up on her during the night to make sure she was okay. Instead she chose to lash out at Lyla in the hopes of convincing Lyla to run away and...well...that was a bad decision now wasn't it OTL

[bronzeflower]

The Opposite of a Fake Relationship

Also on ao3

Chapter 3: The Lunch Table

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“So,” Jared announced as everyone sat down for lunch. “We finally have some good gossip in the guild.”

“Don’t let the Captain here you say that,” Lyla mentioned, and Jared waved her off.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. More importantly,” Jared looked directly towards Arlo. “There’s a romance blooming in the workplace, and I must say, it wasn’t a pairing I expected at all.”

“Why are you looking at me?” Arlo questioned, and Aureall got this intense expression on her face.

“That Victor kid!” Aureall declared. “And his blatant flirting! You haven’t even said anything about it!”

“There’s also the way you look at him,” Helene pointed out.

“And here I thought you were married to your work,” Lyla said.

“And <i>I</i> thought you would choose someone a bit more on the serious side,” Jared mentioned. “But Victor is one of the most cheerful people I’ve ever met.”

“Classic case of opposites attract,” Aureall crossed her arms definitely.

“I-I’m surprised you’re taking such an interest in this, Aureall” Barin spoke. “You don’t re-really seem the type.”

“Shut it!” Aureall flushed. “I can like romance if I want to!”

“No one sa-said you couldn’t,” Barin retorted, and Jared interrupted before the conversation could go any further.

“More importantly is that Arlo over here doesn’t seem to be reciprocating the flirting that Victor is doing, and we can’t be having that.”

“Jared, I’m not gonna flirt with him while I’m at work,” Arlo pointed out, only to get stares.

“So you mean you <i>would</i> flirt with him otherwise?” Jared questioned with a gleam in his eyes.

“Somehow I have a difficult time imagining Arlo flirting,” Aureall thought.

“He’s terrible at it,” Helene said bluntly.

“How do you know?” Arlo questioned. She was right, but still.

“I don’t, but I doubt I’m wrong,” Helene answered. “We’d be better off shoving them in a closet together than getting Arlo to take any initiative.”

“Now there’s an idea,” Jared was clearly thinking deeply.

“Wait!” Barin yelled out. “You’re not ac-actually planning on trying to get them together, are you!? That’s, that’s to-totally unprofessional!”

“I agree,” Lyla announced. “Victor’s flirting is bad enough. There’s no reason to attempt to make it worse.”

“It won’t make it worse!” Jared argued. “If anything, it’ll make things better! Victor won’t have a reason to flirt relentlessly anymore, and Arlo will stop pining after him even though he’s clearly interested. Besides, Arlo’s way too professional to allow a relationship to get in the way of his work. He’d put a stop to any flirting the moment they got together.”

Arlo did Not think about how he pulled Victor into a closet to make out because he couldn’t stand not kissing him for a second longer. It was a miracle they weren’t caught, and they only stopped because of Victor.

“He could do that now,” Lyla argued. “How do we know they wouldn’t just go off into some closet to make out once they’re together?”

Arlo steeled his face as much as he could.

“Please, for all the time I’ve known Arlo, he hasn’t shown even an inkling of being interested in that sort of thing,” Aureall insisted.

“He is,” Helene said.

“Who’s side are you on, Helene?” Aureall yelled, and Helene smiled and shrugged.

“Well, I’m on Barin and Lyla’s side,” Arlo said. “There’s no reason you should be interfering with any relationships I may have.”

Given the look Aureall and Jared got, Arlo highly doubted they were going to stand by and do nothing.

And he was correct in his assumptions when he found Victor dressing up slightly better a few days later.

“Got a date tonight?” Arlo joked, and Victor chuckled.

“Obviously,” Victor rolled his eyes. “He’s quite the catch, you know. Tall, a redhead, and a member of the Flying Pings.”

“Is there a chance that this man is <i>also</i> your beloved husband?”

“Yes, there is a chance that this man is my beloved and darling husband,” Victor responded. Arlo smiled into the kiss they shared. “But, seriously, I expected Jared to start out pretty overt in his matchmaking, but instead he’s trying to convince me to dress up for you like I don’t do that already.”

“Is that why he’s been talking with you so much lately?”

“Yeah, although I’m not sure he’ll agree about my idea of what ‘dressed up’ is.”

“Yeah, I doubt it,” Arlo agreed. “You know, one day you’re gonna be forced to wear a suit.”

“I would say over my dead body, but if my corpse is put into a suit, I’m gonna haunt the shit out of whoever made that decision.”

“Don’t you wanna get cremated?”

“It’s the principal of the matter,” Victor shrugged. “Are you ready to prepare our gremlin children for school?”

“They’re not gremlins.”

“You can ask them yourself. Sam, in particular, is proud of his gremlinness,” Victor said. “Anyway, go wake the children. I’m going to prepare them a sacrifice.”

“Stop calling mealtimes sacrifices.”

“Offerings.”

“Still not great, but better.”

With that, they got the children ready, and Arlo dropped Sam and Remi off at school before going into work.

“Arlo, could you help me with something?” Jared questioned.

“What do you need?”

“Just need some extra muscle to move something,” Jared said.

There was something very suspicious about the encounter, but Arlo went with Jared anyway.

Soon enough, the two of them ran into Victor and Aureall, and then Aureall and Jared were locking Victor and Arlo into a closet.

Now, if this had happened to Arlo when he first got a crush on Victor, he’d be embarrassed, but, as it was, he was just enjoying the closeness he had.

“Holy shit, this is so cliche!” Victor laughed.

“I thought they would do something more subtle than just shoving us into a closet,” Arlo said. “You know, like convincing you to dress more nicely.”

“Jared took one look at my outfit and decided they needed to resort to drastic measures,” Victor reasoned. “Besides, they think you’re the most oblivious person in the world.”

“I’m just professional.”

“Sure, professional,” Victor teased. He grabbed ahold of Arlo’s bandana to force him to lean down as Victor brought Arlo into a kiss before letting go. “Alright, so they may have locked us in here, but they did <i>not</i> take away my tools, so, if you give me a minute, I can get us out real quick.”

“Could I get another kiss first?”

“I mean, it’d be a shame to waste an excuse to kiss my husband,” Victor said, and he pulled Arlo into another kiss. “Just one more.”

Victor kissed Arlo a third time, and they finally parted, with Victor grabbing a few tools to fiddle with the doorknob.

Like Victor promised, the door opened very quickly, and they were able to get back to their respective jobs.

And, of course, Aureall and Jared received a scolding from Lyla during lunch about their actions.

“How could you tell on us, Arlo?” Jared dramatically whined, and Lyla was quick to correct him.

“Victor was the one who told me. I guess he’s not a big fan of your interventions.”

“One sec, I gotta go fight Victor,” Aureall announced, but she was quickly stopped by Arlo.

“You already spar with him plenty. Just sit down and finish eating.”

Lyla continued telling off Aureall and Jared, which hopefully meant that the two of them would mind their own business. 

Afterward, Lyla spoke with Arlo.

“You know, I’m surprised Victor would want to put a stop to their shenanigans. He’s been flirting pretty relentlessly with you. You’d think he’d appreciate the help.”

“Victor doesn’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable, so he’s a big proponent of consent,” Arlo explained.

“Why do you know that?”

“He asked me if I was uncomfortable with his flirting and said he would stop if it did.”

“But he still flirts with you?” Lyla questioned before the realization occurred to her. “Wait, but aren’t you dating him then? Since you’re both clearly interested.”

“I thought you didn’t want to be caught up in my romantic affairs.”

“I, well,” Lyla went pink. “I have an interest in the happiness of my coworkers, and you seem...happier when you’re with Victor.”

“Do I now?” Arlo asked, scratching the back of his head for a moment. He knew he was obvious in how much he loved Victor, but he didn’t think it was <i>that</i> noticeable.

“I still refuse to intervene,” Lyla specified. “But maybe you should ask him out a date or something?”

“I might just do that,” Arlo grinned slightly. “Although maybe I won’t tell Jared or Aureall as a joke.”

“I didn’t expect you to be the type of person to do something like that.”

“Then let’s just say it’s for the sake of professionalism.”

“Then I won’t say anything either when you do ask him out.”

“I’ve actually, kind of, already done so?” Arlo admitted. “There’s a concert happening tomorrow night for a band he likes, and, well, I have tickets.”

“How do you know what bands he likes?” Lyla interrogated.

“You’ve been in there while he works. He’s always singing stuff under his breath.”

“That wasn’t even something I noticed.”

“Oh,” Arlo blushed slightly. “Well, anyway. Don’t tell anyone, alright?”

“You have my word.”