#it's eating me up inside
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#as someone woth quiet bpd i just spent 12h obsessing over the same upsetting work thoughts they bothered me with on my day off#bc i can't manage my emotions#it's eating me up inside#i'm here frozen#i did notthing but think he same thoughts over and over and over again#:))#i love it#love being emotionally unstable and sabotaging myself#let's not talk about the even more dmaaging behaviors or how my stomach was worse today too#it's 2am and i can't sleep bc i'm fucking angry and upset and i can't let it go#emotional dysregulation ftw lmai#i mean i wanna be able to tell my coworker it sucks how they did it#but also i just wanna not talk to them at all anymore until I quit and never see them again#just stone wall them the way i did my parents#maybe their reaction reminded me of my parents and that's why i'm triggered?#either way i'm mad and ready to leave#i mean i'vr been ready#i just wavered a bit the last week and this is just like a final kick in the ass#i'm just also pissed off at myself that this ruined my day#and that i can't sleep#ignore me#rant
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#tko_art#you are the most talented#most interesting#and most extraordinary person in the universe#And you are capable of amazing things. Because you are the special.#What's it like to hold the hand of someone you love?#do you long for having your heart interlinked?#do you feel that there's a part of you that's missing?#what will you have after 500 years?#oh i forgot the airbrush for the depth#i thought this was pretty good but i just remembered the top lid doesn't really ahve shape#whatever#tried doing the shadow on the corner of it's eye too#that didn't work out lol#i'm starting to slowly think that putting the time and effort into being my friend is not worth it#asked my therapist how to start believing words and she completely misunderstood it#because at the end of the day yeah words are just words and no matter how much u try to tell me I won't believe you#and i get it i get it i get it i just can't apply it#anyway might fuck around and rewatch one piece and catch up#it's eating me up inside#you dont get it#what's not to love#argue with the wall#ok well the fanservice sucks ass#makes me want to kill myself
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The pishacha are manifestations of evil itself, locked within a cursed amulet. The wearer of the amulet is at the mercy of the demon, known for possessing humans and feeding off their host's chakra energy. However, if symbiosis is achieved, the pishacha can grant its host a myriad of powerful abilities.
I just needed to draw something cool okay. I needed to draw some cool goop and some cool looks okay. okay. if I didn't post this I would have exploded okay
#IT'S VENOM BAYBEE#i can't confirm nor deny if pavitr ever ends up wearing the symbiote- sorry. the demon#i honestly just wanted to get something out lmao#it's eating me up from the inside (the au and the symbiote)#honestly there's a lot of white but fuck it. my boy needs to look good.#the dhoti reminds me of gwenom tbh. you know what i'm talking about. that pink bit in her 'fit#anyway i TOLD YOU the mythology was coming in like a boss >:)#sure i'm tweaking stuff here and there. but mwahaha.... boy does it feel good when mythology actually gets what i'm trying to go for#and spits something out for me to use :D#(crying for hours on end trying to figure out how the black goop does its thing)#anyway nearly 12am. this time i will tag my shit correctly 😤 we will not have a thompson/travasso incident again#pavitr prabhakar#spider man india#spiderman india#venom symbiote#venom#spider man fanart#mythic mumbattan au#myart#artoftheagni
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god literally made nicolas cage so david lynch would have a guy for his projects but neither of them seem even vaguely aware of this truth which is why they only worked together the one time. and what can i do about it. i know how the prophetess cassandra felt
#it speaks!#like genuinely eats me up inside theyre so stylistically compatible#would also love to see cage in a lanthimos movie but whatever#nicolas cage#david lynch
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So I've been getting into somno, and now I really want a subby boy to gently fuck me awake every morning 😭😭😭 The idea of a boy who will follow your orders even when you're not conscious enough to give them is kinda hot ngl 🥴
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you know what kills me about the TMA/TMP universe parallels? It's the fact that even with old characters showing up in the new series, we'll probably never hear from Tim or Sasha again. They were both long gone before Celia ever came along. She wouldn't have known about them - hell, most of the cast hadn't known about them by the time they joined. Nobody except Jon and Martin knew them, knew who they were and how their story ended. Their memory died with them both.
And maybe Sasha and Tim do meet again someday, somewhere else. Maybe their story doesn't end in tragedy this time. Maybe they're out there somewhere in this universe, living their own separate lives. Maybe Tim is happy again, without the grief of losing his brother and his best friend to the things that go bump in the night. But we'll never hear about it, so we'll never know.
#sorry guys but its been eating me up inside#just in case anyone wanted me to ruin their day#the magnus protocol#the magnus archives#tmagp#tma#sasha james#tim stoker#tmp#specky rants
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So y'all know that Vergil only has 2 "earthly" possessions left (Yamato and his poetry book) right? Well, does anyone else think about the fact that Nero has "owned" both of those items? Nero's Devil Bringer had/has Yamato inside it (or however you want to put that) and now, post 5, has Vergil's poetry book. At the end of 5, Vergil gives what he can to his son (since he can't return Yamato to Nero). HE IS TRUSTING NERO WITH ONE OF THE TWO THINGS HE OWNS. . . . I don't know it just makes me feel sad. Vergil can't make up for what he's done (and hasn't done) but he can show that he cares about (and, dare I say, loves) Nero. Not to mention the fact Vergil is replicating what his own Father (Sparda) did. Given we don't know how long the twins had their swords in comparison to when Sparda disappeared/died.
Bonus thought: Post DMC 4 Nero has always had a piece of his Father with him: Yamato, V (quite literally a piece), now the book. Even though Vergil wasn't there for Nero in a physical sense- Vergil has been with Nero for as long as Dante has.
#I think about this every once in a while and it just eats me up inside#so now y'all will suffer the same way#lmfao#Idk just some food for thought#dmc#dmc 4#dmc 5#devil may cry#devil may cry 4#devil may cry 5#Devil may cry#Devil may cry Vergil#Vergil#Vergil devil may cry#dmc Vergil#Vergil dmc#Devil may cry Nero#Nero#Nero devil may cry#dmc Nero#Nero dmc#kinda angsty
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hrhhrhrhhh jovier hghrhhh brokeback mountain au hhehjrhjjhgjhkejgdjnhknj its literally 5 am and i just finished these and i hate how they turned out but WHATEVER
i just cant stop thinking about these two and its making me sick!!!!!!!
#jovier#javier escuella#john marston#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#au stuff#will probably draw more for this but for now...#have this little thing jovier nation#my art#michsmeesh#idk this au is just. eating me up from inside#because its literally THEM#im gonna go cry myself to sleep now bye#and tmrw i'll draw more requests#well.#later i'll draw more requests
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*me immediately after going through a terrifying and traumatic experience* haha yeah I guess it was rough but I'm fine now like I'm totally chill. It was kinda funny actually if you think about it
#GUESS WHO GOT A PIERCING INFECTION SO BAD OVERNIGHT SHE HAD TO RUSH TO THE HOSPITAL#AND GET SURGERY TO REMOVE IT BC THE METAL WAS BURROWING ITSELF INSIDE HER LIP#yep that was meee :3#man. it sounds so silly now. like that probably shouldn't have made me panic nearly as much as it did#but you have to understand at the time it was terrifying#I noticed my lip was a bit swollen earlier in the night but I was like ok it's probably nothing serious#I put some ice on it hoping it would be back to normal after I got some sleep#then I woke up at like 5:30 AM with my lip super swollen and my lip piercing literally burying itself inside my flesh#I tried pushing it back out a bit and blood and pus started coming out so yk I started panicking#so I went upstairs and I asked my mom to drive me to the hospital#luckily we have free healthcare in brazil and the hospital was basically empty(this was on sunday)#but when I got there they told me the doctor wouldn't arrive until 8AM and it was like 6:45 at that point#so I REALLY started panicking 🫠 bc I could feel like the piercing kept burying itself more deeply like#I felt like the skin inside my lip was going to close around it and I was terrified bc I had no idea what to do#and I was scared it might make things worse#but all I could do was sit there and wait and so I started having a panic attack#luckily my mom was there with me the whole time so at least I didn't feel alone#and then I just. waited for it to end. and then tried to keep myself distracted until the doctor got there#I got treated by military doctors! sjdjcjck the army has been giving additional support for hospitals in my city#bc of the floods some health units are currently closed and demand got higher so they needed extra support there#so an army doctor performed my surgery(inside an army tent no less ajfjjfkf maybe not ideal but. functional)#he was so nice?? like probably the calmest most careful doctor I've ever been treated by#I still had a bit of a nervous breakdown again after the surgery but that was bc I'd never been through something like that before#I got anesthesia obvs but I still felt the tug when he cut into my skin to remove the piercing and did my stitches#so my mind started cooking up all these horrible scenarios of how everything could go wrong and I was gonna die#cried on the doctor's table. 👍🏻 awesome#but he and his assistant were super nice about it she even offered me a hug#but anyway in the end I finally calmed down and got some medication#now I'm all stitched up with my little bloated lip eating soup out of a straw 👍🏻 but I'm ALIVE and I'm just glad it's all over fjjvjkf#sleep.txt
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I’ve ranted on the sniper part like three times and yet I want to continue to do so and repeat everything this whole fandom has already discussed. To sit on a cloud in the sky and take a fucking megaphone and just shout about it. How wordless it is. How their communication has already hit that point. HOW HE WAS SO. FUCKING. ZONED IN ON HER. ONLY ON HER. NOTHING ELSE WAS AROUND. IT WAS COMPLETE TUNNEL VISION ON HER AND HER ALONE. How he knows where she’s going and knows every infected to hit to keep her safe and clear her path. How he sits and waits and watches the van for any infected that would dare get close to her. How he started shaking when that clicker got in the van. How he was so full of debilitating fear over her life. His hands sweating, tense shoulders, the hitched and short breaths, and obviously a sky-rocketed heartbeat (and probably blood pressure). How he relaxes when he sees she got out of the van. How he never missed a single shot, despite what he tells her in episode 3- “happens more often than you think.” How he knows she’s going after Henry and Sam and he slightly nods and that’s her sign to move and how Joel takes out every infected in her path on her way there. How his breathing has steadied because he can see her now. He can protect her now. How it’s all just complete dad behavior and he’s still going to try and pull his stunt next episode 🤡 baby you’re in love already, please just accept it
#I’d keep going but I think I’d drive off a bridge if I did#I just#I love them so much#way way too much for my own good.#and it’s really eating me up inside.#mental stability said 📉📉📉#I cannot live laugh love in these conditions.#instead I’m dying crying and hating in them#the last of us hbo#tlou spoilers#joel miller#ellie williams
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Alonzo's first love...
"The summer I turned 19. A sudden move to the remote outpost of Mt. Komorebi upended my world. Dad's new posting meant leaving behind everything familiar in Selvadorada, but at least I had my family. Within a week, I was immersed in a new culture, new faces, and a strange sense of belonging. Then, she walked into my life.
It was like a bolt of lightning. Our eyes met, and in that instant, the world narrowed to just us. She was offering something, a small box, a mystery, a connection. Before I could decipher the puzzle, she was whisked away. Her name was Sachiko Nagasaki, the general's daughter. Fate, it seemed, had a cruel sense of humor.
We shared stolen glances, broken rice cakes, and the silent language of hearts. From hesitant friendship blossomed a love as unexpected as it was profound. Every shared moment was a precious gem, a treasure I hold close. Now, years later, I wonder where life has taken her, if she ever thinks of that summer as vividly as I do."
#SURPRISE!!!!!#sims 4 gameplay#the sims community#ts4 simblr#simblr#sims 4 story#the sims 4#ruthplaysthesims#sims4#sims 4 cc#MYSTERY REVEALED#i can't keep my story secrets for too long#they eat me up inside 😭😭😭
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🎶mein herr marquis🎶
based on Someone Else's Story by @thedarkivist🖤🧡
happy birthday, Dark!!
#ferdibert#ferdinand von aegir#hubert von vestra#fire emblem three houses#fe3h#my art#keeping this a secret was eating me up inside#but finally it can be posted#read the fic everyone!!#it altered my brain chemistry now I'm a different person#and happy birthday dark!!#now taking art vacation phew
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Keep calm, and drink soda
[CW for blood and gore and vomit] takes place a day or two after emizel was sired. just two boys adjusting to a shift in their daily norms. would YOU drink your homies blood? still not used to writing fanfic so any and all advice IS appreciated. i hope u enjoy.
There were very few things that Soda enjoyed more than well, drinking soda. It was a hobby, an interest, a comfort. And by extension there were very few errands that Soda would look forward to more than the occasional soda run.
The gas station closest to the Demons hideout had stopped selling Faygo entirely about a month or two ago, and it was near impossible to find it anywhere else. The closest place was now this janky little Shell gas station, lovingly titled the Shady Shell, that thankfully sold more flavors than any of the other ones ever did.
It made the hour and a half walk here entirely worth it. Even if this side of town made his skin crawl. Normally he would ask someone to accompany him on this daring little quest, but everyone at the hide out tonight just seemed too tired, too preoccupied, too uninterested.
He knew not everyone really got the soda thing, but they were accepting of it for the most part. Soda is something that, clearly, Soda really loves, but he knew not everyone else was into it.
Which was fine, of course. They didn't need to get it. But, still, sometimes Soda found himself wondering how much of it was a bit, and how much was him.
Emizel gets it perfectly though. He would've been the first person Soda would ask to go on this soda run with him, but, well. He's been preoccupied too, with the whole vampire thing.
It's been a bit more than a day since Soda had last seen his close comrade. For a friend that he saw just about everyday, going without him this long left him feeling a little emptier.
That was fine, though. Emizel had shit he was working out, he had things he needed to do. It's not like he could go out in the day anymore, so of course Soda wouldn't be seeing him at all the usual times.
It was a lot of weird and heavy magical stuff, it made Soda think about those superhero shows. Where the hero needs to keep his identity hidden from everyone. Family especially. He knows how much of a piece of shit Emizels dad is, so he hoped that Emizels home life wasn't stirred up all stupid-like over this.
He hasn't told anyone else, about what happened that night. For the last 2 days, Soda would spend time with close friends and not let them know a thing about what happened to Emizel so, so recently. Why he's so suddenly absent, so distant, so.. off…
'Maybe his dad's just giving him a hard time', he would say, hoping to smother their questions. The less questions they ask, the better. At least until this vampire stuff gets figured out a bit more. Should Emizel wear a disguise when he goes out at night now? Just like a superhero? What kind of hero outfit would Emizel have anyways? Soda figured it would be something really cool.
If anyone could figure out a way to balance all this vampire stuff, and all the leaderly responsibilities that come with being the biggest dog in the Demons, it was Emizel for sure. That guy is so seriously cool.
He was sure this rough patch would even out, and they would weather the next rough patch together no problem. There was really nothing to worry about! All Soda has to do is stay positive, and well, drink soda.
As Soda walks quietly down the crumbling sidewalks of this dreary hive of strip malls and shops, he goes to pull his backpack around to his chest, fumbling with the zipper in the dark. Which was a little annoying, considering the tab of his zipper had fallen off forever ago. He really needed to get around to fixing this damn thing. Maybe another ziptie and a soda tab will do the trick.
Humid air hangs heavy in the night, the sidewalks still somewhat warm after a hotter day. The diesel-soaked air provided enough warmth on its own that Soda had considered taking his jacket off a few times, only for the occasional, annoyingly sharp and chilly breeze to brush by, reminding him to keep the thing on.
Tripping only once and only slightly on an uneven sidewalk, Soda manages to pull a bottle of Faygo from his backpack, a smile glowing on his face. Another short fight with the zipper seals up the bag, and he slings it over his shoulder again.
His flavor of choice tonight was actually the Red Pop, the tried and true, the absolute classic, one of the best Faygo flavors for sure.
But, this kind wasn't actually his favorite. Normally he would stock up on the cotton candy ones, but something about the last few days had him craving the red stuff.
Securing his backpack all the way, he goes to crack open the bottle. Just the clack and the hisssss of the fizzy drink were enough to lift his mood.
Not that his mood needed lifting or anything. Of course. Sure he missed his friend and sure he found himself wondering what he’s doing and where he is and if he's okay. Maybe sometimes he found himself wishing they talked about funeral plans more.
Emizel talked up all sorts of crazy funeral ideas for himself, usually involving the use of his dead body as an inconvenience for others. Outlandish and hilarious ideas, like filling it with explosives and tossing it into a busy road. But what would he want seriously? What would Soda ever do if he just stopped showing up one day?
He had to swallow down all these unnecessary anxieties, so he took a swig of his soda. Sweet, bubbly, comforting. He felt better already! Just stay positive, and drink soda..
It was a lovely night out, and he didn't come all this way planning on letting it go to waste. There was a place he was heading towards, a particular alleyway in this particular place that led off to a particularly tall concrete ledge.
It was a run-down little space, littered with trash and shitty trees and those bushes with just too many goddamn ants in them. But the view was fairly nice, overlooking a massive deformed intersection. A particularly stupid one, at that; about 3 times a week you could witness a gnarly crash at this spot. Soda always heard people saying that LA folks can't drive, but he was just starting to figure that maybe no one can drive.
That was the place he really wanted to go to enjoy this soda, and he wasn't too far off from it. Just a few more blocks, and he would be there.
Oh wait, didn't he still have a bag of chips in this backpack somewhere? Hell yeah, he couldn't wait to sit down and relax with a good soda, a good snack, and a good view of the night.
Living as a Demon had its fair share of stresses. He felt lucky to have this life, but he knew well that it could be better. That not everyone has to worry about survival the way they do. That not everyone gets injured on the regular and not everyone has to worry about being sick and never getting better.
Living is hard. But it's finding the small moments of joy that make it all worth it. Dying would be scarier anyway. He didn't want to die, and he felt glad to feel so confident in that nowadays.
The sudden THUNK of something slamming into the ground just a block away from him, jolts him out of his thoughts, all his gears screeching to a halt as he freezes in place. What the fuck was that?
It looked like a person, laying flat on the ground with only their head and shoulders peeking out of the alleyway ahead. Fuck. He hated this side of town..
Anxiety churns in his stomach as he debates just turning around, but the way the victim reaches an arm out, attempting to crawl away; it made his heart ache aswell. he's no goddamn fighter, but he couldn't just leave someone like th-
The body is suddenly yanked back into the alley, snatched at a startling speed. It didn't feel exactly real, how could something vanish so fast? It reminded Soda of something from a horror movie, or whatever. What the fuck was that??
His foot takes a step forward, before the rest of his body notices its rebellion and locks down again. Was he seriously going to investigate that? He could just walk away and take another alley. But that was the one he was supposed to turn down! All the other alleys are either walled off or gated off and he wasn't about to go climbing over a damn wire gate. His soda would get too shaken up! Fuck!
Another foot goes in for another step forward. He's gotta get the fuck out of here. He could hear more commotion in the alleyway, a scuffle, a skirmish. He could hear someone cursing through a choked breath. A loud and nauseating crack echoes out from the alley, and yet, Soda takes another step forward.
This was stupid, he shouldn't be getting tangled up in someone else's business. What if something happened to all this soda?
Thankfully, it was that thought that actually got him to pause, and take in a deep breath. It wasn't worth it, maybe he should head straight home.
Atleast, that was the thought his heart and mind were about to agree on, until a particularly familiar grroowwwwlll bleeds out from the alley.
Emizel?
All reason immediately evaporates as Soda makes that connection in his head, stepping right up to the corner of the brick walls, and peering around to investigate.
There was a body on the floor, face down in a puddle of red, head split open in a way that reminded Soda of a smashed watermelon.
But standing over that body, was the familiar, blackened coat, and short blonde hair, of Sodas closest comrade, Emizel.
Despite the carnage on the floor, Soda couldn't help the smile that lights up his face. That was Emizel! That was his boy!
But before he could get over just how happy he felt to see his best friend, something else caught his eye. Movement, behind the dumpster closest to the vampire boy. A person, rising out from the shadows with a glinting baseball bat clutched fiercely in their hands.
"Oh fuck, look out!" Soda speaks up, and Emizels gaze immediately clicks over to him, silencing Soda with just that startlingly red stare.
He had forgotten just how uneasy those red eyes made him..
The attacker, silent and professional, rushes up behind Emizel and CRACKS the metal bat downwards onto his blonde head, the sound ringing out like a gun shot in that dark little alleyway.
Soda cringes from just the sound of the impact, but was amazed to find that the bat had warped under the force of it!
The attacker hardly had a chance to process his mangled weapon before Emizel whips around to retaliate.
It looked like he had just swung his hand at his opponent, so the way a shower of red spills outward from the slash, catches Soda completely off guard. The monster boy had cleaved an excruciatingly massive gash up from the attackers right hip, to his left shoulder, the slice spewing with scarlet.
It wasn't until Emizel had pulled back his arm, that Soda could process the way it had darkened with more than just blood, distorted into an odd, spear-like shape.
The victim hardly had a chance to yelp before that blade swoops up into his chest at the speed of a snapping bear trap, plunging through meat and bone with disturbing ease, and forcing blood and viscera to erupt outwards. The red patters down onto the concrete behind, the sound similar to rain...
With another low, inhuman snarl, Emizel brings the twitching, dying body closer, until that signature squish of teeth sinking into fresh meat bleeds outward into the space.
What a disgusting sound, Sodas first instinct was to simply avert his eyes, but as the sound persists, he resolves that he has to do something.
He finally steps out into the alley, and speaks.
"Hey ma-"
He could hardly get two words out before Emizel suddenly rips its teeth away from its victims throat, tearing out a hefty chunk of jellied meat, and slamming the remaining fodder onto the concrete floor.
It immediately whips around to stare down Soda, red eyes glowing with reflected light, and with hardly a chance to process the moment-
-It's immediately right infront of Soda.
A gasp lurches from Soda's lungs as he almost stumbles back in shock. How was Emizel so fucking fast?
Other than that single step back, Soda was frozen in shock, his tongue buzzing with the physical pain of such a startling jolt. 'White boy jumpscare' is something that came to mind, but while usually such a thought would evoke some sort of laugh from Soda, this time it offered no such comfort. Okay maybe it did a little.
Emizels snarling face was only inches away from Sodas. Its eyes were wild and unnatural, teeth menacingly sharp and reddened with so much fucking blood. It was everywhere, coating most of his face, smothering his shirt and his coat, and absolutely choking the air with its thick, metallic stench.
Soda would gag if he felt he was safe to even move. He felt like he was locking eyes with that of a creature, something he would only ever see in his nightmares or in scary movies. But it was real. Those monsters are real. And his best friend is one of those monsters. His bestest friend in the world...
His mind was skewered on that unnatural glare, completely frozen with anxiety. Stalling too hard to come to a proper conclusion, Soda instead falls back onto what Soda does best.
"H-hey man... You want some soda?"
He very gently presses the opened bottle of Faygo into Emizels chest.
The two boys stand there for a moment, locked in a tense, silent pause, before the monster boy finally peels its gaze down to the bottle.
It's quiet, for a few seconds, the gears turning in its head. Until the monster blinks, and its eyes clear, and Emizel processes the sight of the bottle.
"Oh, fuck yeah dude, is that the Candy Apple Faygo? Man, that stuffs my favorite!" Emizel smiles as he goes to accept the bottle, and immediately takes a massive swig.
Soda tries to disregard the way his hands were still shaking. "Uh, n-nah man, its just Red Po-"
The words are bit off as Emizel suddenly retches, a heavy flood of red blood and red Faygo spewing out onto Soda, as the vampire boys body entirely rejects the fizzy drink.
The shock of getting fucking projectile vomited on had snapped Soda out of whatever daze he was just in, and it seemed to snap Emizel out of it too. Soda backs up with a groan, looking down at all the blood and bile and pop on his shirt and coat.
"Ohhh fuck dude, what the hell??" He cringes, not even wanting to try smearing any of it off with his hand.
Emizel was coughing, still holding out the Faygo bottle, but hunched over as his body dared to convulse again.
"Ohhhhhh fuck, ohhooohhh fuuuuucckkk" he grumbles towards the floor "Fuuuck I’m sorry dude, I don't know what fuckin- oohhhgg shit,” He coughs and groans, offering the bottle back to Soda.
Soda was still staring at his messied coat with a displeased grimace, but looking up to meet Emizels eyes...
There was a guilt on Emizels face that Soda didn't see too often, and it helped wash away that irritation he felt. This sucked, but Emizel was probably going through a lot more.
“It’s, uhm.. don't, don't worry about it, man..” Soda decides to reassure him, offering a sympathetic smile, and a hand on Emizels shoulder, as his comrade spits out the remaining blood and bile.
"Fuckin hell… I’m uh, I'm sorry about your shirt, man."
"What? Nahh it's okay man, don’t worry about it." Soda shrugs, taking the Faygo bottle back. "I mean, are you okay man? That uh.. looked like a pretty crazy fight."
Emizel was rubbing his eyes, smearing more blood across his face as he seems to be collecting himself. he spares a glance back at the carnage behind him.
"Ah.. yeah.. I thought I uh.. I thought I saw that one fucker from uh. That one night. Yknow, the one that uh.." He snaps his fingers, as if trying to summon back the memory. "Vampire bitch... Anyway after that I just kind of, uh.."
He seems to space out again as he looks around. It was as if he was just woken up from a deep sleep, like he was certain he had just known what he was doing, but found the dream escaping him. "I guess I just.. went crazy on these guys. I dunno, they're Fangs anyways." he finally shrugs it all off, but Soda still felt unsatisfied by the answer.
"Oh.. huh…” is the only response he manages to scrounge together. Sure they were Fangs, but did they really deserve.. all that? It just seemed a bit brutal, even by Emizels standards.
He found his eyes wandering over to the split-open head. It was mostly red and bloody, but even in the dark, he could still make out some of the finer details of the gray jelly seeping from the gash. A human brain. He wondered if his own brain looked the same on the inside..
“So what are you doing out here, man?” Emizels question helps Soda pull his eyes away from the gore, instead looking over to his bloodied comrade.
Emizel looked messy and even exhausted, but his drowsy gaze was focused on Soda with a worried expression.
“Oh, uh, yknow, just a soda run. Decided I would stock up on some Faygo from the Shady Shell.” Soda shrugs, his eyes flickering down to the opened Faygo in his hand. The top was covered in regurgitated blood. unnaturally blackened blood…
“Are you.. okay, by the way? Other than the whole..” Soda gestures vaguely at the gruesome crime scene. “Are you hurt?”
The question has Emizel pausing to consider. He straightens his back and stretches his arms, as if trying to detect any pain from any possible injury. Nothing seemed to be bothering him though, and after a second, he decides to shrug.
“Nah, I'm all good.”
“Oh.. That's good, I uh…” Soda found himself looking over Emizel aswell, searching for any wounds the monster boy might be simply disregarding, as he often does.
There was a fairly gnarly gash on his shin..
“Hey uh, I was actually gonna go hang out by the ledge down that way. Yknow, the one with the funny intersection.” Soda says, gesturing off towards where he intended to go. “Wanna come with?”
Emizel looks back that way, before turning back to Soda with a big smile on his face.
“Oh hell yeah I do! I love the funny intersection!” he starts to walk down the alley, about to step over the body of the broken skull, when Soda speaks up.
“Uh, hey, shouldn't we uh.. Do something about the.. uh..” He waves a hand over towards the bodies, trying not to look directly at them.
Emizel spares the corpses an inconvenienced glance, and a sigh, but ultimately shrugs them off. “Ehhh I'll just dump 'em in a dumpster again.. That's what I've been doing anyway.”
“And you're not worried about, like, anyone finding them?”
Soda anxiously watches on as Emizel paces around the body with the torn-out throat, licking the blood from his own mouth. Was his tongue always that long and pointed? That's neat, and normally Soda would point it out, but he was a bit.. preoccupied right now
“Nahh not really. I haven't had anyone bother me at least.. Anyone been bothering you?” Emizels eyes finally flick back over to Soda.
“Nah, I'd say things are actually more lax than usual. Anything that would end up being trouble’s been pretty much crushe- er, killed- destr- stamped out, by uh, by you.” Sods was cringing with every attempt to find a word that didn’t make his stomach turn, but Emizel didn’t seem to notice or mind.
Emizels eyes were currently a bit more focused on the body laying before him. He had that weird look on his face again…
“Uhh, yeah, yeah that's good that uh, no troubles coming back to you guys…”
There’s a moment of quiet between the two as Emizel stares at this corpse, and Soda was about to open his mouth to fill the silence, but Emizel speaks up instead.
“Hey uh, why don’t you go ahead of me? I’ll uh, I'll meet you at the place.” He suggests, pointing vaguely off down the alley, but not removing his eyes from the kill.
Soda certainly hesitates, his eyes narrowing before he even forms a thought. He opens his mouth to object, but then his eyes flicker back towards the body.
“Are you gonna eat this one too?”
The question leaves Sodas mouth as soon as it comes to mind.
Emizel pauses, and considers, before giving a shrug. “I don't see why not. Perfectly good blood.” He reaches down to grab his kill by the shirt, the one with the split open head. As the corpse rises from the concrete, gray matter drips and sloughs from the crack in its skull. Once again, Soda felt the need to look away, and yet his stupid eyes remained fixated on the horrendous sight. Emizel looks over the spilling brain of his meal, licking his lips curiously. “Dude, what do you think would happen if I ate his brain?” Emizel asks, looking back over to Soda with a wild, bloodied smile. Something about that look made Soda shiver, but.. Not really in a bad way… “Uh, I.. Dunno…. Eating a persons brain is how you get like, mad cow disease right? But you might also be immune to disease.. Are you immune to disease?” “Uhhh, I don't know yet actually. I'm still figuring out how much of this is like video games,” Emizel says, rubbing the back of his head as he idly sways the body of his kill around, watching the blood and gore drip and drop from its broken head. “Eh, I'll chance it later.” Without another word or thought, Emizel goes to sink his teeth into the shoulder of his kill, a pleased growl radiating from him as the blood gushes around the bite. More fresh blood upon less fresh blood upon old blood upon older blood. Just so much fucking blood. Soda thought he was used to seeing blood, but this… this was just egregious. Was he really starting to get used to this? It’s just blood after all, and it’s not from his comrades, so it's… fine… He finally manages to pull his eyes away from the gruesome sight of Emizel feeding, but his eyes instead wander down to the blood on his own shirt. Emizels blood was strange, darker than usual, and carrying a different scent. Something about the smell of his blood was more savory, more appealing than the standard metallic miasm. His shirt was smothered in it, his jacket was coated in it, and his opened bottle of Faygo was also splattered with the deep red ichor. Ink swirls within the bottle of red fizzy, spreading out into all sorts of odd patterns. It was a lot of blood. He was certain a lot of it came from however many people Emizels been feeding on. With how much hes been terrorizing the Fangs in just the last few days, and with how nonchalantly he feasts on his kills, who knows how much blood hes actually ingested… Soda swirls the bottle, watching the blood inside thin out into strands, dancing within the bubbly soda as they gradually dissipate, fully assimilating into the drink. A bad idea chews at the back of his head… The sound of ripping flesh once again knocks at Sodas head. He doesn’t look up this time, but he knew Emizel was just playing with his food again.. Did blood taste good to a vampire? Did some blood taste better than others? What did Sodas blood taste like? What did Emizels blood taste like? There's a visceral snap of something among the chewing and ripping, very clearly a bone or a joint snapping out of place. It made Soda shiver a little. When did his heart start pounding? There's an animal standing only 8 feet away from him, feeding on its kill. That animal is a person, and so is its kill. He wanted to know what vampire blood tasted like, but he already knew what human blood tasted like. It hung so densely in the air, he could feel it forming a vile film over his tongue. The blood of a person just like him. Eaten by an animal that eats people. All this stress was no good. This bile rising to his throat was no good. This creeping anxiety was no good. He's friends with an animal that eats people. Would it eat him? This weird feeling was no good. Maybe it will never eat him. But it needs to eat people. This worry was no good. He needed to wash this awful taste from his mouth, replace it with something sweeter. He needed to keep his head clear enough to be there for Emizel when he needed to be. He needed to hold a light to these shadows. And he needed to stay positive, and drink soda. He takes a swig of the open Faygo bottle.
#NO MAIN TAGS WE DIE LIKE ROADKILL#WOW ISNT IT WEIRD THAT YOUR BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOOOLE WORLD EATS PEOPLE NOW#ISNT IT WEIRD THAT YOU KIND OF WISH YOU WOULD BE EATEN. EXCEPT NOT RLY BC U WOULD DIE. MAYBE HE COULD HAVE A NIBBLE#i might come back to ramble in the tags more later. STAY TUNED!!!#OKAY IM BACK TO RAMBLE. FIZZFAGS SEAL O APPROVAL IN THE TAGS U MEAN THE WWWOORRLLD TO MEEEE#THIS IS ALL YOUR FFAAAUULTT UR THE ONLY REASON THESE LOSERS ARE ROTATING IN MY BRAIN SO SO FAST#I DO INTEND TO WRITE MORE!! AND I DO INTEND TO LET IT GET WEIRDER#Iwanna make a lil chapter two w them hanging out at the funny intersection while soda maybe tries to patch emizel up.#wouldnt it be fucked up if u saw ur best friend get bled out n then sired right infront of u#and wouldnt it be fucked up if ina vampiric daze he almost sinks his crazy shark teeth into your throat#and wouldnt it be fucked up if you kinda wish he did. like not in a weird way or anything its not weird its not weird at all#RAAHH IM SO HAPPY THAT PPL LIKE MY WRITING STYLE N MY CHARACTERIZATIONS ASWELL IT MEANS SO MUCH TO MMEEEE#NICE WORDS GIVE ME SO MMUCH POOWWEERRRRR RAAGHGHHH!!!thank you guys for being so niceys to me#ive also been thinkin abt writing Post Suckening fics. EXCITED FOR SEASON TWO. in the meantime what if theo had to put up w shenanigens#one shenanigen for example being emizel going feral and attacking a comrade.#then theo needs to stake him n pull him aside n set him straight or something. set him gay. whatever.#ive also had an idea in my head. BC GABRIEL IS TOTALLY INSIDE OF EMIZELS BRAIN NOW#could u imagine doing acid or shrooms w ur homies n then suddenly ur nemesis is showing up in ur fractal hallucinations#anyway i think thats all da ramble i got in me. thanku for enjoying my writing thank yooouuu
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you can't "just add a few codexes". you have to write those codexes. you have to write them in the proper voice and style and so it doesn't just fit ONE specific person's worldstate but anyone who also may have made the same decision as them. (you might even have to write multiple variations of the SAME CODEX to account for gender/race/class/romance) you have to edit them. you have to decide where those codexes are going to appear. you have to put them somewhere where people who want to read them will find them. you have to program them showing up. you have to flag it so it only shows up in sPECIFIC versions of the game. (because god forbid it doesn't and breaks someone else's immersion) you have to bug test that. you have to hope it still works when it ships.
and after all that the people complaining might still pick up said codex and close out the window immediately. or run past it entirely and complain that they made a selection in the worldstate that never paid off.
and then you've just spent all that time fleshing out something that's just a small nod to a very small percentage of players. time you could have spent on the current plot or companions. time you could have spent on making *active* decisions matter. these things can easily take up weeks or months like you wouldn't fucking believe.
#i challenge anyone complaining about this to try doing it for themselves#really pick up a pen and write these codexes you want so bad#and have it up to the same level of quality it should be for the game#then actually wait until the game comes out and you play it *for yourself* and see if this is still a 'valid criticism'#and hey maybe you do at the end of it all and that would be fine and valid!#until then complain all you want but criticism requires you to make evaluations with context so this is not 'valid criticism'#preparing to get repremanded by my friends for Posting but this is eating away at me inside as someone who takes critique very seriously#esp now that im replaying inquisition and realizing how unfinished and empty it is bc they cut so much stuff to account for worldstates#do you ever think about how upgrading skyhold is almost purely cosmetic and doesn't fucking matter in the end fight#just so some npc in the herald's rest can talk about what happened to merrill's clan or i can get letters from zevran at the war table#granted this prob would have made varric killable and deprived us of silver fox varric so it is what it is#obligatory its fine to be mad/upset/whatever but stop talking like this was a decision made lightly or to spite you The Player#they are not rubbing their hands together maliciously in the writers room like some evil cabal get a grip#dragon age
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Zeref and Gray
Something that always kinda struck me was how similar Gray and Zeref all are. Like they are dark haired, dark eyed, pale, emotionally constipated, and cold boys. I don't know if it was purposeful but the way they share these characteristics along with being brother figures to natsu is kind of wild and a little sad if you think about it. Like maybe it was a small piece of memory or instinct but the idea that maybe natsu got so close to gray is because he is zeref could have become if he didn’t go mad with grief. The version that he was when he was happy.
Gray and Zeref parallel one another in so many other ways then looks and personality. Both of them lived a happy life until everyone they loved were killed by a monster leaving them to become the only survivor. Both of them turned to magic, and their own hubris and need for more caused the loss of the system that taught them (death of Ur, zeref's expulsion and curse). The difference comes from what they did after. Zeref isolated and fell deeper into grief while Gray found a support system. They both eventually meet(create?) natsu and have a brotherly relationship with him but zeref pushes him away despite being his blood brother to be raised by igneel, while gray acts like his brother in all names but blood. The parallels between Gray and Zeref and their relationship with Natsu really brings the idea of blood family vs chosen family and how it's your own decision that affects your destiny.
#fairy tail#zeref dragneel#fairy tail zeref#natsu and gray as brother figures?#gray fullbuster#this parallel actually eats me up inside#idk if anyone else sees this#natsu dragneel#they’re brothers your honor#can you see what im putting down?#dragneel brothers
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Questions post-release of The Edge of Sleep
Is the dog okay? Did the dog also get possessed? Or are dogs exempt from sleep death and brain branding? The dog was in their cage for quite some hours, which may imply that dogs and potentially even other animals are immune to the beast.
Are possessed folks unable to die from blood loss or drowning so long as they have the mark of the beast?
Who else thinks the doctor isn’t actually dead (there were other doctors at the facility) and was suspiciously on-board with everything happening to Dave?
Is the doctor actually a host for the elephant (alternately just being influenced by it)? Yes, this is partially because his distorted voice in the sleep tube sounds the same as the beast, but the depictions of the beast in peoples dreams does get explained later as being different for everyone (probably based on environment).
Why was he trying to put the moves on Dave’s mom? Probably part of a manipulation tactic or he’s just weird and I’m overthinking his role in this.
What if this is all a dream and Dave is just stuck in one of those sleep pods still? We have yet to see a flashback where he’s a teenager of any sort which gives us a huge missing gap in his memories.
Another question relating to the previous ones is why did Dave see Matteo(?) and Katie(? or is that Linda?) in the sleep pod dream world place very briefly in the the trailer? EDIT: Okay so whoever that is next to Katie/Linda in the cut footage seems to be someone else who would succumb to or almost drink the beast juice (sorry, I didn't know what else to call it).
Are their IRL selves in on it? (this seems silly in hindsight, but I'm not deleting it)
ACTUALLY YEAH JUST IGNORE THESE TWO PREVIOUS ONES ONES, THIS WAS CUT TRAILER FOOTAGE, I WAS TIRED.
Is Dave in a coma and all of this has been one big dream fantasy he’s been in for a long time? If so, how long?
Much like the question of “is the dog important,” is the doctor’s memories when he was talking about his trauma important? Will that come up later given the talk of a season 2 for the original podcast?
Does the Elephant’s host bodies feel pain or is it zombie rules and they’re basically just drones that’ll keep going as long as they have some means to move around?
Do y’all think we’ll get a season 2? The series is pretty good as a stand alone thing imo that kinda lets you fill in the blanks, but I personally would like to see more in some capacity.
What did the dream people mean by “power?” Is Dave capable of the occult?
Does the Beast have access to its host bodies memories and motor skills? We see Katie’s body walking through the water. Could the beast hypothetically fly a plane if it got the right host body to do so? Could it control an entire military fleet?
What is the doctor’s connection to the supernatural happenings of this reality?
Was Markiplier the voice of the blue Modafalyst pill and the voice over of the ad that was playing on the TV in the hospital?
Was the doctor trying to get his loved ones back through the sleep pods like how Dave got that pen into reality from his dream?
How come all of the surviving main cast has had some sort of government or implied government-related job position? Was that intentional?
Each of the surviving main cast also has a double letter placement in their names too, intentional perhaps? This one is probably a reach, but I thought it was interesting!
Why did only one guy foam at the mouth when he "died?"
Why is there a difference between the pill colors in the trailer and in the final release of the show? We're the colors going to be swapped initially? Is it or was it maybe supposed to be a Matrix reference?
Also did Dave's mom seem a little too okay with what was going on at times? Does that have to do with the doctor trying to put the charm on her? Although having someone finally listen to your child's issues and have a clue about what's going on would put you in a vulnerable position, also single mom seemingly.
Who did Dr. Luis Castaneda lose and why did a dream person show up? Was that someone who left him to go live on Aristera for one purpose or another?
How many hours was Dave awake in total? So far 87 seems to be a close enough guess, somewhere in that area.
How are the dream people able to teleport into Mark's dream? How is the beast able to get into anyone's dream now that I think about it.
#this is a very unorganized list of a bunch of questions I have following the end of season 1#it's kinda funny that they used a pic from in space with markiplier for mark lol#its interesting that the trailer actually has at least two unused shots btw; the one with Matteo and Katie seemingly eating something#and the one with the possessed body moving around inside the bag in the hospital hallway#the cut footage seems to be of Linda or Katie almost giving into the beast controlling them along with Matteo but I could be wrong#was so tired i mistook trailer footage as actual footage that's my bad#rewatching this to grab screenshots tells me that Dr. Luis Castaneda is absolutely important to the story here but idk why yet#anyway enjoy my tired questions and ramblings; I know cut content doesn't necessarily count as canon; Katie's scene was foreshadowing#anyway go watch edge of sleep on amazon prime I stayed up way too late finding screenshots and things for this#how did dave see Katie's demise before it happened? that's also kinda weird; future vision?#mine#op#the edge of sleep#teos#teos spoilers#cw blood#cw gore#tw body horror#cw organs
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