#it's complicated. but it is flattering and I am honoured that my work inspires that impulse

[nyehilismwriting]

How do you feel about hadea fanfiction......

ummm. not great. I've had this question before and I've never really been able to break it down into a clear yes or no; the idea of other people writing my characters makes me uncomfortable, particularly since this is not a complete/finished work. on the other hand, I don't really have a problem with people writing abt their own operatives, since those are characters you do have some control over and obviously people have their own ideas and hcs regarding, which is good!

it's very flattering that anyone would want to write fanfic in the first place, and I hate feeling like I might be stifling people's creativity, or putting people off, but this is an unfinished work and something very important to me so I do feel somewhat protective of it.

ultimately, my feeling is that I can't stop you, and I wouldn't necessarily want to, but please don't tell me about it or put it in the tags where I'm likely to see it!

[silverfoxstole]

I realised the other day that it’s my five year sewniversary! It’s that long since I made my first skirt and completely got the sewing bug (so much so that I didn’t do much else in my spare time until last year, when I got back into my art and fanfic writing), and I now make virtually all my own clothes, as well as bags, Christmas decorations and teddy bears, plus shirts, trousers and what’s seemed like endless tshirts for sis.

In honour of this I thought I would post some of the most involved garments I’ve made, all of which are outerwear.

First up is the McCalls 6800 coat from November 2018, a huge (and expensive!) project that took about a week’s work on and off:

I actually haven’t worn this for about two and a half years as winter 2019 wasn’t cold enough and then the pandemic arrived. It’s heavy and very warm, and I should really have used shoulder pads for better structure but I know more about tailoring now than I did then. Now I have a tailor’s clapper, which I bought when I was making my pea jacket, and spent a good hour and a half pressing it all over it looks better than in the post linked above, the seams flatter and the nap less bouncy. I still like its drama but I don’t know when I’m likely to wear it again; I expect I’ll end up making something a bit more practical that will get used more, like a naval greatcoat, perhaps. (Don’t be silly; you couldn’t afford the oil cloth).

Jokes aside, because of the wonderful weather in this country a few months later I decided I definitely needed a raincoat. Enter the Sewaholic Minoru jacket, the result of a very intensive weekend’s work in March 2019:

Made from shower proof cotton, I really like this pattern though I did add patch pockets as the inseam ones weren’t big enough. The hood rolls into the collar, but as I only usually wear it when rain is likely I haven’t actually put it away in ages. I always like a quirky lining if I can get one; as I am at the point in my life when I get hot all the time I opted for cotton poplin with traditional polyester lining for just the sleeves, which need to be able to slide easily. To quote sis, I have pandas in da hood!

Following on from that, in April 2019, came this McCalls 7513 jacket:

It’s made from a boiled wool and viscose blend, and has a similar silhouette to my coat. I haven’t worn this nearly as much as I would have liked, though I did put it on a couple of weeks ago for the first time in ages. It remains the only one of my makes which has prompted a compliment from a stranger, when I wore it to Sainsbury’s just after finishing it! The buttons, which you can’t really see here, I picked up in Liberty’s when my friend and I had a mooch round there on our last trip to London in February that year.

Just before the pandemic hit, I decided I needed another raincoat as my Minoru jacket was getting a bit tight (thankfully I’ve lost a fair bit of weight in the last year and it fits again now) so I put together a Tilly and the Buttons Eden:

It’s a little bit more complicated, with storm flaps and snaps (one of which fell off the first time I wore it!) as well as a zip. Once again it’s made from showerproof cotton, and I used some striped jersey I’d bought with the intention of turning into a summer dress as the lining. The only downside of my fabric choice is that being such a pale colour it does tend to get dirty quite easily. I’ve probably worn this through the winter more than any other coat, apart from my pea jacket last year, but then I’ve only really been making trips to the supermarket. My big coat is a bit too dramatic for Marks and Spencer Simply Food...

Lastly, not an involved make but a very recent one. I needed a light jacket to throw on at this time of year so turned to the Sew Over It Amelia:

It’s a 40s-inspired cropped bomber jacket, made from cotton twill. The lining features different kinds of pens, which appealed to me as soon as I saw it! I made this last month and I’ve had it on a few times since then.

So, five years down, and no signs of stopping. I even had a conversation about it with our postman this morning, as I’d received a parcel and on mentioning what it contained discovered that he sews as well! I’ve made a start in some new things for summer and there’s fabric waiting to be turned into a full circle skirt, three dresses and a denim jacket...

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Balance & Harmony

(( I’m totally not insane to be writing about Orion Amari, okay? Okay. ))

The sun was up and shining beautifully like it always does, and here you were, on a beautiful Spring Saturday morning, hanging upside down from your broom above the Quidditch pitch, your wand lazily dangling in your hand, tied to your wrists, in case it falls again, as it sometimes happens when you’re too focused on the book levitating in front of you.

It wasn’t a textbook, that would have been boring. Instead, it was another muggle fantasy book that fascinated you so much that you forgot to even breathe.

But this is what made you happy, excited, made you feel like you were alive. On the other hand, this is exactly how you met your now-boyfriend, who so happens to be the famous Slytherin Quidditch captain, Orion Amari.

---

You can remember even now that day 3 years ago, when you were in Year 3, and you went to the Quidditch pitch, your mother having bought you a brand new broom so you could have your fun. You never cared about Quidditch as a game, or better said, you never bothered to go to tryouts or play, but you absolutely loved flying and fooling around on the broom, which you only did when you were absolutely sure nobody else was watching...Because that you made you screw up, your shyness acting up, as usual.

And besides, watching others play Quidditch, seeing your House team win, is so much more satisfying, right? No anxiety, no responsibilities, and you get to feel the same things the team members are feeling.

That day you learnt how to stand on your hands on the broom, and hell, it was so exciting and fun, you took things even further, staying on one hand successfully, doing a whole pitch lap, before you went back to stand on your feet and cheer at your amazing success.

Flying sure felt like you freedom to you.

And to celebrate your success, you sat on the broom, hanging upside down, your wand out to levitate your book so you could read one of our favourite books, ‘The Picture Of Dorian Gray’ by Oscar Wilde.

The problem was that you were so caught up into the book that you started reciting some of Dorian’s monologues, and you got so shocked at one point that your wand fell from you hand, along with the book and you lost balance as you tried to get up, not realising how feint you were feeling from staying with your head down so long, and you legs felt like jelly...Making you fall from more meters than you’d want to think about, with no chance of survival, since your wand was on the ground already, where you will be too soon enough.

You tried desperately to call for your broom, but it was out of your reach. You could feel your eyes watering in fright, your heart hammering in your chest so hard that you thought it’d jump into another dimension, and your lungs were burning.

You closed your eyes, waiting for your imminent demise...Until you felt yourself being swept up, making you let out a soft whimper, and yet, you weren’t brave enough to open up your eyes until a gentle voice started talking to you, putting you close to their chest.

“It’s alright now, you’re safe.” he said reassuringly, as he landed carefully on the ground. “We’re on the ground now, it’s okay. You can open your eyes.” he explained, but you barely managed to open your eyes to look at your saviour, that you fell to the ground, trembling and panting. “It’s going to be okay now. I’m Orion. Orion Amari. What’s your name? I know we’re on the same year, same House, but I never caught your name.” he chuckled a bit, putting his hand on your face, making you look at him as he tried to make you forget about your near-death experience. “I’m...I’m Y/N L/N. I know who you are...You’re the Team’s new Chaser.” you manage to put the ghost of a smile on your face. “I never realised I was so famous, or that such a cute and talented girl was watching our matches. I’m flattered.” he grinned, petting your hair soothingly. “After what happened up there, talented is the last thing I’d say. Rather, I’d go with clumsy, stupid and uninspired.” you chuckled, facepalming. “Well...Training like that with nobody around can be dangerous. The surprising part was that you were brilliant on your tricks, until you started reading.”  he stated, bringing you the wand and book. “Honestly...When I opened my eyes, I thought you were a dark-haired Dorian Gray or something...” you blushed lightly, looking away. “I can only suppose Dorian Gray is the protagonist of this book your were reading, correct?” he asked, smiling. “Yeah, he is. It’s one of my favourite books, I recommend it. It’s beautiful and tragic at the same time.” you grinned at him, holding the book close to your chest. “If you’d allow me, I would love to borrow it. Also, I would recommend next time you read upside down like that, to attach your wand on your wrist, in case you get too focused to realise you are breathing.” he smirked slightly, guiding you to your shared Common Room, where you crashed on the soda for a while. “I’d be honoured! Nobody really likes my muggle books so I hardly ever have anyone to chat with about anything that is not school related, you know? Also...When did you get on the pitch? I always make sure nobody is there so I won’t embarrass myself.” you look at him with a slightly mischievous look. “I...Sometimes hang around that place too. It’s not the first time I’ve seen you practicing on your broom. You inspire me and give me ideas of what to try out next.” he confessed, completely nonchalant. “Woaw...You said that with no shame at all. Impressive.” you muttered in shock. “What is there to be ashamed about? I always liked to learn new things, especially if I’m passionate about it. It keeps a certain level of harmony between my mind and soul.” he shrugged with a smile on his face. “Hang on...If you wanted to learn so much, why didn’t you just come over to me? I don’t look that scary and intimidating, now, do I?” you smirked, seeing his eyes widen, a rosy colour shading his cheeks. “Ah! There it is! Look at you, you really are blushing! So I was right!” you smirked teasingly, poking his cheek. “That is pretty intimidating, if not, rather intriguing. Maybe I really should have come up to you sooner. You are quite a challenge, Y/N, and you’re disturbing my inner balance. Weirdly enough, I quite like it. What do you say, would you like to help me regain my balance?” he asked, getting closer to you. “Only if you can help me find harmony.” you chuckled, leaning back on the sofa. “I think we have quite the deal here.”  he nodded, opening the book and reading the summary.

---

This was the beginning of a beautiful friendship that blossomed into even more, an even more outstanding relationship that everyone envied. You became the most powerful couple Hogwarts ever had. He, the Slytherin’s Quidditch Team’s Captain and Chaser, and you, the most intelligent and artistic Slytherin. You were each other’s Harmony and Balance, you complimented each other very well.

What was even better, was that your best friends, Penny, Tonks and Tulip were always up to hang out with and they always knew how to cheer you up, especially when Merula was being a jerk, or when other girls were jealous on you for dating Orion.

But today...Today was a rather special and weird day, for the famous Slytherin Curse-breaker, Kitsune Shimada, flied over in front of you, looking a bit confused.

“Uhm...Hi? Are you Y/N L/N? Penny and Murphy advised me to come talk to you about the Quidditch tryouts. They said you might know how to get an invitation.” she said, looking at you from above. “I see...I hope you’re not trying to be an ass-kisser so I would tell my boyfriend to give you a free invitation to be the new Chaser?” you raised your eyebrow, skeptical and bored. “Boyfriend...? Wait, Orion Amari is your boyfriend?!” her shock was great enough to make you realise that her intentions weren’t foul, so you laughed at her. “Yeah, he is. Has been for the last 3 years. I suppose you haven’t met him yet, have you?” you asked, smiling at her. “No, I haven’t. I didn’t even know he was the other Chaser until Murphy told me that. I’ve been doing so many friendly matches that I started to even forget my own name.” she replied with a sheepish smile on her face. “Oh, trust me, I know. I watched all of your friendlies so far. You have a lot to learn, but at the same time, training with Skye and Murphy sure had great influence on you. And even more, you seem to have quite a natural talent and instinct for it. But if you want to get the invitation, you have to impress Orion...And that’s gonna be quite the feat. Are you sure you’re up for it?” you asked sternly, crossing your arms, looking straight into her eyes. “Yes, I am sure. I worked hard so far and I’m ready to work even more for this opportunity. So please, teach me how to impress Orion and get that invitation.” her voice was stern and sure of herself, which made you grin at her. “Great! The first thing you have to learn is how to talk to Orion. Many would call him ‘Quirky’ or ‘Spacey’, but he’s a very intelligent and talented person. He can speak in riddles and questions, but when you finally find out what he’s trying to say, you realise that you have a lot to learn from him.” you begin, a serene smile on your face. “The next thing would be to learn how to...As he calls it, ‘Talk to his level.’, which basically means that you have to learn to balance on one leg on the broom.” you giggle, seeing her horrorstuck face. “WHAT?! That sounds impossible!” she gasped, making you laugh more. “Come on, it’s not that difficult, okay? Start with a positive attitude and it’s gonna be easier.” you shrugged. “Why don’t you do it then?” she raised her eyebrow skeptically, making you laugh again. “Let’s do it together. After all, I’ve been doing things more complicated since 3 years ago.” your voice confident and full of life and you easily stood on one leg, amused at her failed attempts to even stand on both feet on the broom. “You make it look so much easier than it is! How do you do it?!” she kept wobbling, trying to keep her balance. “Come on, Kitsune, I’ve mastered this at 13. You have to let your mind focus and find a certain balance between your stability and focus. Focus on my voice, not on trying not to wobble. Talk to me, forget about everything else around you, okay?” you explained, feeling a perfect harmony. “I can’t wait to find out why all this is important...” she muttered, looking a bit crestfallen. “I’d say this would help Seekers more, but all tricks helpful for every position. You need to learn how to tune out external distractions, like the audience, or other players’  taunting. You’ll find more uses for each trick yourself, that’s the fun of Quidditch.” you told her, seeing her progress rather quickly. “You seem to know quite a lot. What position are you playing?” she asked again. “I don’t play Quidditch. I never went to any tryouts either. I don’t like playing, I prefer watching our team play or fooling around with friends. On the other hand, I sometimes advise the team, help them practice...And on the worst case scenarios, I play as a stand-in. But that’s only been if Orion can’t find a proper replacement. He knows I hate playing competitively.” you grin at her, feeling butterflies every time you think of your boyfriend. “The way you speak of him makes it look like you really love each other. Penny told me a lot of nice things about you, and how you’ve been her tutor for DADA and Transfigurations the last two years. I know we’re only 14, while you’re 16 or 17, and I know there could be other people trying out who could do much better and who have more experience, but I’m ambitious and determined to make it on the team and help our House win the Quidditch Cup.” her voice was genuine and you knew she was ready to meet Orion. “I know, Kitsune. You’re a true Slytherin, I can see you are true to yourself and want this very much. So much that you started balancing without even realising, that’s how focused you were on your convictions and our conversation. I’m proud of you, Kitsune, I don’t think I ever met anyone who could do this so quickly. It’s time for you meet Orion, dear.” you grin at her sudden shock-realisation face, making her lose balance and almost falling, before managing to stay on both feet and then sitting normally on the broom, laughing. “Well, that was one way to shock me! Thanks a lot, Y/N, you taught me a lot today. I really hope I can make it on the team now.” she grinned as you sat on the broom too. “Well, I’m pretty sure we have class now, but after, Orion’s going to be here, ready to meet you. Don’t forget what I taught you, and everything is going to be okay. You have a hell of a potential, I can assure you everything is going to go well if you continue with this enthusiasm and drive to win. And remember, Kitsune, you’re a Slytherin, okay?” you winked at her as you left the pitch, ready to go to Potions, but not before meeting your boyfriend in the Common Room, so you could walk together.

There you saw him, both dressed in your robes, walking hand in hand toward the classroom, stealing a kiss here and there, as you’d usually do.

“Tell me, my dearest Catherine Earnshaw, are you adopting 14 year olds again?” he chuckled, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck, as you two sat down. “When am I not? I mean, come on, most of my friends are 14 year old. I’m a mess.” you laughed, leaning into him, playing with his beautiful dark hair. “Don’t say that, darling, you are my harmony and balance. What would I do without you?” he asked in a suave voice, making you giggle. “Not...Be surrounded by 14 year olds? I don’t know, my lovely Dorian Gray, you’d be the same successful and amazing Slytherin Captain Team and Chaser. You’d be the same lovely boy with girl fawning all over you and people trying to suck it to you to get on the team...Should I go on?” you teased, leaning back a bit, to look in his eyes. “It sounds to me like you’re trying to kitten...Why don’t you purr while at it? You want me to tell you how much I love you? How much you mean to me? Just say so, and I will.” he grinned, putting his hand on your face, as you leaned into his touch. “Your love taught me how to have the Fire of a Fire crab, the Patience of a Flobberworm, the Loyalty of a Kneazle and the Drive of a Niffler running after a galleon. You helped me achieve inner Harmony and Balance, taught me how to see the beauty of life and the happiness of having someone who I trust with my whole heart and soul. You, darling, are the only one who could ever teach me how to achieve a clear mind.” he said gently, leaning in to press a tender kiss on your lips, gazing at you with a gentle smile. “My heart can’t take all this sweetness. Damn, Orion, I love you so much, you can’t even realise.” you grinned, kissing him back sweetly. “Well...I think I might have an idea, sugar.” he winked, leaning back in his seat as Snape got in the room to start the lesson.

---

A few days passed, Kitsune successfully made it to the team, but unfortunately, the Seeker broke his hand the night before the match so you had to replace him, much to your annoyance.

The game was against Gryffindors, and it sure as hell was a tough one, seeing that their Seeker was extremely aggressive and would bump into you at all times, the bludgers would be send towards you as well, and it all just as much as ruined your chakras so much that you were truly pissed off for the first time in ages, which made you aggressive as well.

So aggressive, in fact, that you made the Seeker lose balance and fall from her broom, barely dangling with one hand from the handle, as you darted off as far as possible, getting on your feet on the broom and inching forwards, reaching out your arm towards the stupid Snitch. It felt like hours until you finally managed to catch the snitch, and very close to falling off your broom, but none of that happened, and Slytherin was victorious, with a total of 310 points, against the enemy’s 170, so it was a complete win!

You did a whole pitch lap standing on one foot, showing off the Snitch in your hand, before getting to Orion, and hanging upside down to reach his face, as he stood on his feet on the broom, his face beaming with pride and glee.

“You did it, Y/N! You won us the match!” his voice hyped and proud. “I hate getting angry and aggressive, but it was worth it. That chick really pissed me off, y’know? Too bad she didn’t fall or something.” you shrugged, grinning and reaching out to his hands to put the Snitch in his hands. “You should hold it. You caught it. We couldn’t have done it without you, hun.” he tried to give it back, but by now you were both holding it. “It was you who helped me stay focused on my goal. It’s not I who won the game, Orion. WE won it.” you chuckled softly putting your hand on his face. “I think after this game we both need to regain our harmony and balance, don’t you think?” he asked in a low voice leaning closer to you. “I have to agree with that...Captain Amari.” you smirked at him, making him let out an amused breath as he kissed you passionately, just like Spiderman would kiss Mary Jane in the famous comics, but this time, the roles were reversed.

The whole day, the Slytherins celebrated the winning of the Quidditch Cup and everyone couldn’t be happier for your success, especially you, Orion, Murphy, Skye and Kitsune, who worked so hard to achieve this beautiful victory and can now reap the bounties of success and happiness.

Yes, Year 6 was going to end soon, Year 7 was going to come alarmingly soon, and with it, the end of your life at Hogwarts, but you and Orion knew that no matter what, you would never be separated and your life is going to be forever in peace, balance and harmony, together, in happiness.

[dxmedstudent]

Heya hope you’re doing well! For the end of year asks, 1 and 24?

I’m doing OK! I keep forgetting to post this, or adding onto it. But I don’t want it to be lost whenever my browser next crashes. So, let’s post this!@meanwhileonwednesday also asked me to answer them all, so I’m gonna combine both.

1) what did you learn about yourself this year?

I learned a lot about myself. I underwent some careers counselling, which has been an itneresting ride, and given me lots of tools to reflect on what I want out of work. It’s hard, because I realised that I (and probably all of us) tolerate so many working conditions that I don’t inherently like or flourish under. I like to take my time on one problem at a time; in medicine you’re being constantly interrupted by like 10 different people who then remind you multiple times about the thing you were doing til someone else interrupted you, and constantly re-jigging your to-do list to accommodate changes in urgency. I realised I like to make people feel better even more than I like to ‘fix’ things. I realised that the reality of what work in a busy hospital is like completely colours my perception of specialties; I can’t unsee the kinds of shifts I’ve had to work. It gave me a lot of food for thought, and I hope it helps me pick something I’m happy with. And having started dating again towards the end of the year, I’ve had to think a lot about who I really am, and what I really want or need. It’s not easy shining an honest light on yourself; what you realise isn’t always flattering (I don’t often spend enough time doing non-work related things, and I’m too much of an introvert for most people, probably). But this allows you to be honest about what would make you happy; for example, I’d hever chase some guy who loves to go clubbing on a regular basis, because we’d be spending every evening apart.

2) best moment of the year?

I don’t know. There were lots of litle modest ‘best moments’, but I’m not sure I can thing of any one big thing.

3) worst moment of the year?

Burnout Time wasn’t a moment, but it wasn’t a good time in general. I’m going to vote it number 1. Though it has some stiff competition. I’ll stick to just one, because nobody wants to read a long list of sad things.

4) what was the biggest change you experienced this year?

I realised that I wouldn’t let training and medicine destroy me. Not that I planned to before, but there’s a lot of fear and anxiety at every stage of the game in medicine. You spend med school anxious in case they kick you out. You spend foundation training anxious in case you kill someone or they kick you out. Then you finish that part of your training, and start the next and its... more of the same? And when you struggle and feel bad, so often your first thought isn’t “I feel horrible, this is bad for me and I need help” but “as long as I am functional at work, then it’s OK as long as they don’t kick me out”. But that doesn’t help you get better, it only piles more pressure on you when you need help. It turns out that I discovered they don’t kick you out of training as easily as my darkest thoughts imagined.  But it made me realise I could never let this job destroy me; there is so much to live for and enjoy outside of medicine. There are so many other ways to be happy.

5) best song of the year?

Aah I’ve listened to so many songs over the course of a year, how could you pick one. I’d blatantly favour the ones I obsessed over most recently. Hmm. I listened to Vitali’s Chaconne on a loop when revising, so let’s go with that. 

6) best album of the year?

I rarely listen to entire albums, because I tend to discover songs randomly and individually. But I loved that my friend and I discovered we both loved Indila’s music really randomly.

7) what’s one thing that happened this year that you want to change?

Towards the end of the year, I had to take a break from making and posting comics. Between burnout and work things, I just didn’t have the time, energy or inspiration to give it what it needed. I hope to get back into it this year; I really miss making my comic.

8) best book/book series of the year?

I’m gonna vote Good Omens. I know people joke about something curing their depression. But yeah, it sort of did with me. It made me see the light at a difficult time, and despite all the stress and sadness and numbness I was going through, it made me laugh and feel joy and appreciate what words could do again. It rekindled a light that had burned very low, and I’m forever grateful for that; it holds a special place in my heart now.

9) best television series?

Hard for me to pick one. I’m watching The Dragon Prince right now, and it’s great! Reminds me of ATLA in the best ways. Honourable mention to Cells at Work for combining three of my interests (medicine, anime and cute things) into one.

10) how was your love life this year?

I actually bothered to try to have one! Only toward the end of the year, though, so we’re on baby steps right now. I’ve talked to and met a few interesting people, even ones that I couldn’t pursue anything further with. I’ve also read like a million really bad profiles, had  way too many half-assed messages and conversations.

I hate the initial bit, where you should try to be yourself and need to be open and vulnerable to really getting to know people, but equally people can just drop out of talking with you or dating you just like that. It’s something much easier to do when you meet online and don’t know each other than when you meet at uni, and I certainly seem to see it a lot more now in online dating than meeting people IRL. Where you get dumped or dump someone but you at least have s a sense of completion. I don’t like how easily the mind wanders over to ‘damn it, he’s ghosted me’ If someone doesn’t reply for a few days, but then again, the fact that lots of people do just ghost doesn’t help that.Still, I remind myself that there’s no use worrying about it; if someone will dump you or isn’t right for you, then there’s nothing you can do to change it.

There are some nice people out there, and I’m interested to see where it goes. Hopefully without too much anxiety, preoccupation or heartbreak on the way; that was one part of dating that I absolutely did not miss in my single carefree years.

11) what made you cry the most this year?

I find it hard to quantify what made me cry the most; I had a lot of tough times. 

Actually, no, on second thought, I think I know what made me cry the most; PMS. Hands-down the winner. What a menace; it’s a real pain. Would not recommend PMS as an experience to those of you unfamiliar with it.

12) biggest regret of the year?

I try not to look back and regret things. I don’t want to say I regret burning out, because frankly that isn’t a choice I made, so I don’t feel bad about it. It’s unfortunate that it’s made my life a bit more complicated, but it’s manageable. So I try not to dwell on that or regret it.

I feel sad that I put my comic on hiatus, because I managed to balance it through so many tough times, so pausing kind of felt like admitting defeat, or losing a part of myself. But it needed to be done.

13) best movie of the year?

It’s late and I actually can’t even remember which movies I saw this year. I think I saw Mary and the Witch’s Flower in this past year, so I’m going to go with that. Because I’m really excited to see where Studio Ponoc takes things, and if they will carry on a Ghibli-ish legacy or do something new.

14) favourite place you travelled this year?

I went to Poland, twice. It was great! I’m slowly trying to get around all the European capitals, and it’s really nice to learn more about the places you go. I never feel like I’ve seen everything there is to see, which I guess is motivation to come back another time...

15) did you make any new friends?

Always. Yep, the benefit of moving to new jobs on a regular basis means that you get to meet new people, a lot. I’ve seen one of my FY1s develop into a great SHO and become a good friend. I’m so proud of them.

And hey, always making new friends here! I love our community, and whilst I can’t remember exactly when I befriended most of you (or got befriended), I am truly glad that I have.

16) did you learn anything about your sexuality this year?

Yep, I don’t think you ever stop learning. I’m looking forward to always finding out more. I don’t feel the need to share it, though :P Some things are better left private.

17) what are some hobbies that you developed?

Most of my hobbies are the same as they always were. However, I feel that I have played a lot of new board games, I continued to D&D without being an utter disaster, and now feel uh, sort of actually competent at this sort of thing.  And I have collected some awesome dice.

18)what surprised you the most this year?

We’re still doing this Brexit thing. I don’t know; I’m not sure politics can surprise me much anymore. It’s still free to disappoint, though. Actually, a few patients survived who I didn’t expect. And some people died suddenly that we didn’t expect to pass at that point. So medicine is always surprising.

19) do you look different from the beginning of the year?

I have more grey hair. Like a LOT. My hair evidently plans to go silver way before I would have expected to. At this rate, I won’t make it to 40 with any brown hair left! My hair is almost waist length so it hasn’t changed all that much apart from the fact that it really wants me to cosplay white haired anime characters.

20) how did this year treat you in general?

People died. People got sick. People in my personal life, not patients, that is. It’s harder to deal with it when it’s not at work; when it’s people you know and care about.  My parents had multiple procedures or surgeries. I sort of burned out at one point and vaguely considered if the path I am on is for me. I did a bit of soul-searching to try to work out what I really want, and what I really need. I’m still not sure I understand, but I’m getting closer.

21) what message would you give yourself at the beginning of the year?

You’ll live. It’s OK, it’ll work out, and you’ll get through it, like you always do.

22) has your fashion style changed this year?

Not really. I have too many clothes (mostly for work, if I’m honest) so I didn’t buy many this year. I definitely need to sell or give away some of the ones that just aren’t ‘me’ any more, though. I sometimes hold on to clothes for a long time, but in the end when it doesn’t feel right dressing like I did say, 10 years ago, then I feel the need to revamp my wardrobe.

23) one of the best meals you’ve had this year?

My mum randomly started making my favourite food more often, and I’m really happy! I keep asking her if there’s some kind of ulterior motive XD

24) who has made the biggest impact in your life this year?

Hmmm it’s really tough to think of any one particular person. Some of the stronger experiences with people were negative, but I refuse to dwell on them or name them; to single them out gives them a power and importance they don’t deserve. So instead I’d just have to say my network of friends and family, for keeping me going’ they have done a lot for me this year. Lots of little and big things that make me feel so loved and cared for. 

25) what’s one thing that you hope will continue next year?

I will keep trying to do my best, and keep trying to look at the bigger picture. I’ll keep working on not letting medicine take over my life. I’ll keep trying to be a better doctor. I’ll keep making time for friends and family. I’ll keep trying my best to meet new people, and not let the times it didn’t work out get me down.