#it's been wearing me thin bc I feel like I've tried my whole life to give her everything and now she's treating her kid like shit by never
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ever feel like u shouldn’t be justified in your anger because everyone else around you isn’t as angry as you
#my sister... sucks lmao like#it's been wearing me thin bc I feel like I've tried my whole life to give her everything and now she's treating her kid like shit by never#showing up for her unless its like 30 minutes before her bed time when she /does/ decide to show up#shes too preoccupied with friends and more significantly her romantic life and it litcherally leaves a bitter taste in my mouth now#whenever I'm in the same room as her#I watch her daughter for her for free every single day and I love my baby girl so it's worth it#but it breaks my heart to see that both her parents only really want her part time#they use work as an excuse but her dad hardly comes around unless it's a special event/holiday and her mom makes what feels like playdates#to spend time w/ her on her days off and I'm just so????? mad bc my niece is SO special and sweet and bright#and I'm with her literally from the moment we wake up to the moment she falls asleep at 9-11:30ish and it just gets me heated when#my sister has the gall to show up on a whim and get mad whenever my mom and I try to parent my niece when we're the ones doing it like 85%#of the time#my sister doesn't even sleep with her kid she just leaves her here so she can go back to her boyfriend#my bank account has almost been bled dry. I want to go back to work. and I don't trust my niece's parents to find childcare that's actually#safe/invested in spending time with her growing brain#and my mom has talked about hiring a babysitter but she literally can't afford that#I just hope my sister does the bare minimum and actually gets her into preschool this year as she will be four by the time fall comes#so I could at least work /then/#like!!! I dropped out of college bc being in debt terrifies me and I realized I had no passion over any specific thing but I wanna go back#but I have to work before that and reintroduce myself to the world and find my footing ya know?#but my niece needs me. she needs my mom. we're too scared to pull tough love on my sister bc we don't trust her with the outcome#im just mad... lmao and I feel like I dont have the right to be#mostly bc what if I'm being too harsh on my sis??? she just got out of an abusive relationship and I thought she only started acting#like this recently bc of being free from that and the complications that come with being a single parent#i dunno#am I being an asshole for being angry with her? for being unable to recognize what I thought I saw in her before? am I being too quick to#judge?#ugh#anyway rant over#sorry I treat tumblr as therapy bc it can be basically used like tom riddle's diary asjdhkashdas
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