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#it's been an exceptionally stressful two weeks and I've had it. but we keep trucking i guess.
apocalypticdemon
·
3 months
Text
y'know. it really sucks to feel yourself back-sliding, mentally, when you know you've been doing pretty alright for a while
#i can feel it coming scoob. frankly i think it may already be here.
#i am always so tired. frustrated. having really fun mood swings.
#and my job is deeply taxing and deeply stressful. ao i never get any fucking reprieve.
#and i literally don't have the energy to care for myself at home reliably.
#so my whole fuckin day got ruined today bc my landlord visited with some people to measure the place.
#and i spent hours cleaning. and he ended the call by trlling me my apartment was dirty.
#so. i cried. bc i have no emotional resilience anymore on account of the constant stress
#and then i cut someone off in traffic today despite trying really hard to Not do that
#but despite checking my mirrors and blind spot 4 times i still managed it!
#and they sped past me. so i screamed at them from the safety of my car with the windows rolled up.
#and then immediately burst into uncontrollable tears that lasted the better part of 30 min
#and nearly made me puke.
#so now. i am hollowed-out and exhausted. just barely making it through.
#and i can feel how close the absolute meltdown is. and i can't fuckin do anything about it bc i can't miss work! fuck!
#it's been an exceptionally stressful two weeks and I've had it. but we keep trucking i guess.
#idk im sad and frustrated and just going through it rn. and it sucks bc i remember being happy.
#and i'm just not anymore.
#i ramble
#sorry this was long and rambly and unasked for i'm just having a really really bad day
#and will be having them every day until at least august!
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