#it's been a wild two years in the orangeflavor family let me tell you that

[orangeflavoryawp]

Man, there has been... A LOT of grief and loss for my family and I these last two years. It's been such a struggle to keep my creative drive going. I feel like with every project I've started recently, I'll get a couple chapters going and then someone literally dies and everything in me just kind of... peters out.

It's a surreal thing to grieve, this loss of my creativity - while simultaneously dealing with the grief of losing a loved one. Because the rational part of my brain feels guilty for focusing on it so much, but writing has been such an integral part of my life for so long that struggling with it is quite akin to the actual loss itself.

I don't feel like myself. I don't feel good about myself. I just feel... disconnected.