#it's because of what op said because it's happening off-shore so you don't give a fuck about those lives

[girlcalledwhatsername]

in which "lesser evil" is code for "evil that is less relevant to me" or "evil that is easier for me to ignore"

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

Momdad I am very sorry to bother you but I don’t know what to do. TW for medical stuff, death, and potential medical neglect

I had surgery just under a month ago and because of my chronic health conditions my recovery has been slower and more painful than typical, which I knew it would be. I was told that I just had to take Advil and Tylenol. When I explained that that wasn’t helping I was given a script for physical therapy, which I will try even though when I’ve had surgery before it has made things much worse not better. But then I had to have blood work done post surgery and my liver is doing some weird things, so the doctor wants me to stop taking Tylenol to see what that does. When I said that if I did that I would be in too much pain because my pain was already at a 7-10 I was told to try ice and a heating pad which I’ve already been doing. I just don’t know what to do. I can’t get my heart rate under 100 even laying down because of my pain and heart condition, I can’t get out of bed, and I’m in too much pain to eat. At this point I’d rather let my liver kill me and idk what else to do because all my doctors are not listening to me

oh sweetheart, i am so fucking sorry. this absolutely medical neglect and you have every damn right to feel as horrible as you do. you just had surgery, you should be on opioids to manage the pain. that is what opioids are for. it is fucking reprehensible to leave your patient with literally no pain relief post surgery.

i get so fucking angry over the opioid backlash. yes, addiction is a problem, but you shouldn't fucking punish pain patients because of someone else's problem. it is malpractice to offer zero opioids post-op, oh my god.

i don't blame you for feeling this fatalistic about everything, but is there any other doctor or staff member you can call, or have someone call for you? make it clear you are being denied post op pain relief and that you want to comply with the instructions you're given to go off tylenol and attend physical therapy, you are not capable of getting out of bed in the amount of pain you're in.

i know that we're trained not to complain and not to ever, ever sound like we're drug seeking, but to be perfectly frank, what do you have to lose? if you're honestly contemplating just letting yourself die, you have no reason not to be loud and push as hard as you can for someone to just listen to you and help you. when your life is what we're talking about, you should raise holy hell with everyone you possibly can before you just give up.

but with that said, i also have to recommend that you try a natural liver supplement - namely, an herb called milk thistle. now, milk thistle isn't going to cure liver disease or anything like that, clinical trials have had mixed results, but it has traditionally been used for liver troubles for a long time. i also take high doses of acetaminophen and i take milk thistle daily to try and counter the effects, and i've never had any liver problems turn up. i've also taken this liver extract, dandelion, turmeric, and i drink kombucha twice a week to try and shore up my liver health. it's not going to cure jaundice, but it seems to help.

i know this is a horrible situation, and believe me, i fucking understand pain. i've been in pain for more than a decade straight. i've thought about just dying to escape it. but what you're going through right now can still be a temporary problem, and you can still have life worth living on the other side of it. no matter how dark things seem right now, and i know it feels bleak as hell, you can still hold on to see what happens.

i don't want you to give up and die, sweetheart. i know you wouldn't want me to give up and die either. please try to contact someone and make some noise about how your needs aren't being met, okay? i wish i could give more detailed advice than that, but maybe one of my followers has a better idea than me. you should also send a message to @heyatleastitsnotcancer, as she's gone through many surgeries and had to deal with a lot of substandard post-op care.

in that vein, make sure you're connected with other disabled folks. you need support from people who get it and are there to offer encouragement and suggestions. i'm glad to be one of them, but you need a network. maybe start with @spooniestrong and find some others through there.

just don't give up yet, sweetheart, please. you can get through this.

[devinescribe]

Stay High

Karube Daikichi × Reader

Based off this song

No, because It's a three am sad thought that should have been kept in my head. This is totally not based off of my deepest darkest feeling and fears. Anyways, ignore that. Um... yeah.

Warnings: Episode 3 spoilers, Manga spoilers, weed, smoking, suicide (this went darker than I intended, ok?), and another terrible attempt at angst :)

"Karu! For the last time, we're not getting a freaking parrot!" You scolded. "Aww, why not babe? They're cute," he said, pouting. You smiled kissing him quickly. "... I'll think about it," you said, before heading out. "I think that means we will have a-" "Don't push your luck babe. I'll see you after work."

_______________________________________

"And here is my attempt at trying to be nice. Happy anniversary!" You chirped, sliding a rather large gift his way. It had a draped cover over it, so he couldn't see inside. He looked at you suspiciously, slowly taking it in his hands. You had a camera in your hands, and we're smirking. He didn't trust that smirk. "Why do you have that camera?" He asked, nodding to it. "Just filming. It's a special day babe," you said, hiding your smile. "Can i-" "Don't you dare shake it-" He raised his hands in mock surrender, before slowly lifting the sheet.

You saw the smile that spread across his face. "I said I'd think about it," you said. He stood up, pulling your waist into him. He kissed you softly, making you smile in your head. "I'm guessing this means you like your gift?" You asked, a smirk on your face. "It's a fucking parrot, hell yeah I like it," he said. You laughed, pressing a kiss to his temple.

Tears blurred your vision, falling onto the screen of the camera. Had it really been a year since then?

"Ok, now I get to film you! Welcome to day 1 of our roadtrip, I don't know where we're going, but we'll find out soon enough," Karube said, turning the camera to face him. He then turned it to face you. You were putting your luggage into the trunk of your car, and looked up with a smile, giving the camera a peace sign. The parrot, who you two decided to name Nijiko after much deliberation due to its coloring, squawked on your shoulder. You smiled. "Yes, you'll be going to day care  for a while Nijiko," you spoke to the bird, petting it's beak softly. The bird shivered. "Day care? Nijiko day care?" It squawked, tilting it's head to the side. You nodded. "Yes, smart bird. Nijiko is going to daycare," you praised. "I sometimes wonder if she loves the bird more than me. The answer is yes. Yes she does," Karube said, laughing as you spoke to the bird.

"Update, it's been 4 hours, and we are in the middle of no where. The child(the bird) has been dropped off at day care... well boarding? For the week. The music's pretty good though, and this angel next to me is still here, so we're all good," he said. He was really serious about filming this. "Babe, why are you filming this again?" You asked, reaching to grab his hand on the center console. "Because memories baby girl," he responded, kissing the back of your hand as it was intertwined with his. You laughed, blowing him a kiss, turning your attention back to the road.

"Day 3 of our roadtrip, (Y/N) is deciding on what to wear, but as I've told her, she looks great in everything," he stated. You flipped him off, picking out something to wear finally. "Wowwwww, I can really feel the love," he said sarcastically, holding a hand to his chest dramatically. "Shut up, you know I love you," you said, rolling your eyes. "I know you do. Who wouldn't love me?" he joked. "I don't know babe. Watch it though, 'cause you're mine~!"

"Ok, it's a few hours later, (Y/N) is getting snacks, and I'm super nervous, because of this," he said, talking to camera. He pulled out a small box, showing the ring to the camera. "I've been documenting this whole thing like a maniac, because I didn't want her to be suspicious. But anyways, yeah... I've been thinking about it for a while, seeing as we've been together since high school. I am terrified, in all honesty," he rambled, running a hand through his hair. He put the small box back to where you wouldn't find it, but he wouldn't lose it. He saw you walking back to the car, and smiled. You opened the door, giving him a weird look. "You're filming again?" You questioned. He nodded. "You love the sound of your voice don't you?" You asked with a smile. He laughed, "Not as much as I love yours."

_______________________________________

He placed the camera was on a nearby fence post, facing you two, close enough to see and hear both of you. He started recording, and gave a thumbs up to the camera. You looked out to the water, admiring the hues of blue. The water crashed into the shore, spraying you with water. "You know when we get married, I'm definitely going to take you here again," he said. You kept looking out at the water, not noticing him. "When we get married? You already have this planed?" You laughed. You turned to face him, not seeing him at eye level. You looked down, and your eyes widened. "As I was saying, when we get married-" he started, getting interrupted when you jumped onto him, throwing your arms around his neck. You both fell to the sand, and you two couldn't help but laugh. "Are you serious? Like, really?" You asked, tears in your eyes. "Yeah, I'm serious. (Y/N), you've been with me for what seems like forever. I love you so much, and I want to be yours forever. Just as much as you'll be mine. So... would you do me the honor, and marry me?" He asked. He might have sounded confident, but he was shaking on the inside. The tears in your eyes fell, and you laughed nodding. "Yes, a million times yes," you said. He laughed, letting out a sigh of relief. You hugged him tightly, your head in the crook of his neck. "Forever and ever?" You whispered. "Forever and ever."

You looked down at the ring on your finger, crying even harder. His side of the bed stayed empty, no one would ever be able to sleep there. Not even you. His side of the room stayed untouched. The same way it had been left that morning. Before the accident.

"(Y/N)... I know you're sad, but this isn't healthy for you... just... call me back once you get this," Arisu sighed. "No answer again?" Usagi asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. He shook his head. "She's been with our group as long as I can remember. And she's been... she had been... with Karube even longer. If it's hard on me, I can't believe how hard it must be on her," Arisu explained. Usagi pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I'm sure she's fine. All people cope with things differently. Just give her space."

You were most definitely not fine. The grief that filled you everytime you saw Arisu's name on your phone, when you looked at anything that once belonged to Karube.  For the first time in the past few weeks, you wandered into the kitchen, and saw the binder filled with the ideas you two had for the wedding. You looked away, tears filling your eyes once more. You couldn't escape the sorrow that had filled your life. It seemed like he was everywhere. Even when you turned on the damn TV the news was talking about the incident. The names of the victims would pop up with pictures, and you would quickly turn it off. You grabbed the folder, ripping up all the papers in there, shredding them to bits in a fit of sadness. You dropped to your knees, holding the final piece of paper. You sniffled, wiping your eyes, looking down. It was in Karube's hand writing, and you took a deep breath. Eventually, you would have to read these things. Eventually, you would have to clean up his side of the room. You decided to start off small. By reading whatever this was.

'I may not be good at expressing my feelings, and this is not going to be the first time you've all heard me tell you how wonderful this woman is, and how much I love her. It certainly won't be the last, if I have any say in it. To which I do. If I could go back to the day we met, and you told me I would be marrying her, I would believe it. Because I've loved you from day one (Y/N). And now, I'll have you. Forever and ever.'

- Karube (rough draft, don't let (Y/N) find this)

You whimpered, holding the piece of paper to your chest. This was too much for you. You needed a distraction.

"Eh, just give me the money, no one will ever know," the woman said. You gave her the money, and she passed you a bag. "I promise it gets better dear. And be careful with that," she said sweetly. You nodded, your face so devoid of any emotion, it was hard to tell if you were still alive. Your world felt so numb to any emotion but hurt.

The burn of the smoke in your throat was satisfying. For the first time since his death, you felt something. Your eyes lazily looked up, staring at the ceiling.  The smell of the weed filled up the room and you rolled your eyes. For once the pain was gone. You couldn't think of anything in the moment other than being hungry. The first time in weeks that had happened.

That was your new routine. Wake up, lounge around, look through the videos and pictures of both of you, get high of your mind. It was the only way you'd forget. Was it healthy? No. Did you care? Also no. You started ignoring Arisu's calls, messages, and voice mails. Leaving them unseen, and unheard. He was worried, and Usagi had gotten worried as well, even though she'd only met you once at the hospital. You seemed like a pleasant person, and according to Arisu, you never left someone in the dark that long. You would usually respond quickly if you weren't at work. But, do to the incident, there wasn't work for a few weeks. That made him worry.

When he found out why you weren't answering, he was shocked. Your apartment wasn't exactly a mess. There were a few papers scattered in the kitchen, and uncollected mail, but other than that, your apartment was clean. He was so confused, hearing you giggling and talking to yourself in your room.

He knocked on the door, opening it slowly. "(Y-y/N)?" He asked hesitantly. You looked up, your eyes lazy and red. The smell of weed in your room was strong, the smoke going out of the window. How long had you been doing this? Had it become self destructive? These were questions he asked himself before seeing you doze off to sleep.

"What the hell were you thinking (Y/N)! You can't- you can't destroy your life over it! I- I was so worried! I've already lost two friends, I can't lose you too!" He scolded. It was a few hours later, and your high had passed. "Why do you care?" You snapped, the conversation being boring to you. The hurt you hadn't felt in weeks came back. He was back in your mind, not as your wonderful fiancé, but as the man you had lost. The man who you had to bury in the ground. It was horrible. Your mind hated the images of his body, lifeless and devoid of his usual smile. You hated it. Absolutely despised it.

"Because you're my friend! You've been my friend since high school! I know it hurts (Y/N), believe me I know, but you can't destroy your fucking life and mental health!" He scolded. It was so unfair to you, in your head. That he was saying something like that. "You want to know what's really destroying my mental health?! Not having him anymore! The fact that he's dead, and I can't- I can't-" you couldn't finish your sentence. Arisu felt bad, but this was an intervention. He had to be a bit forceful for you to stop. "Karube wouldn't want you to do this," he said softly. You felt more tears fall. But you didn't know how to deal with this. "How do you know what he wants?! He's dead!" You screamed. "H-hes dead," you whispered, your voice breaking. Arisu hugged you tightly as you cried. "Can I just know why?" He asked. "He's gone, and I have to stay high all the time to keep him off my mind. Gotta stay high... all my life to forget I'm missing him," you whispered. It was true. It was the only way you could feel something other than pain. The smoke made your mind hazy, and your sadness drifted away. But it wasn't healthy. And it would never be. "It gets better (Y/N)... please, just... stay with me for a week. So I can have peace of mind?"

2 years later

You sat on the sand of the beach, the waves crashed onto the rocks nearby, and a breeze blew the salt water into your face. You looked down at the ring on your finger, sighing at the sight of the shiny gem. You smiled sadly, pressing a kiss to it. "Soon my darling... soon we'll be together again. Forever and ever."

Because the high kept him off your mind, you didn't learn how to cope any other way. The only way was to feel any other pain. You had tried to meet other people, but no one was ever as good. You couldn't even talk to other guys without feeling guilt. It felt wrong. It was like whatever you did, you couldn't get over it. At all. In fact, it had gotten worse over the years. Especially on the yearly anniversary of the incident. Reporters would go to your home and ask you questions, seeing as people had asked you while you were in the hospital. How we're you supposed to get over it when you were reminded constantly?

So there was no thoughts in your head as you walked into the water. It was cold, shocking you. If you didn't drown, you'd die of hypothermia. And that was fine with you.

Forever and ever, no?

Ok, ok, ok.... wow, wowowowowow, this was a three am sad thought that did not have to be written, ok, um wow... that was darker than I intended, holy shit-

I promise I'm done with the terrible attempts at angst, and I promise I'm working on the my other oneshots/books. It's just that when I have an idea, I need to write it before I forget.

Remember that people love you, even if you think no one does, I promise you they do. If you really need help, please find it, and if you would like, I'm always glad to talk to people if they need my help.

[kaizokuou-ni-naru]

Don't feel like you have to make a list or anything but do you have any specific fic recs? I just really enjoyed that one you mentioned!

OH BOY DO I

Jonny Recommends a Bunch of OP Fics

(i know you said no need to make a list but i’m gonna anyways, here’s a bunch of junk grabbed from the mess that are my bookmarks. most of these will be gen and G/T rated unless indicated otherwise cause that’s how i roll. i feel like i’m not very good at describing things to make them sound appealing but i will try! if nothing else, know i’ve read everything on this list at least two or three times.)

Oneshots, AKA Most of What I Read

Ring Around by Maldoror_Chant - ~600 words - Platonic kisses!! It’s just so goddamn cute please read it.

Underwater by ThisCat - ~1000 words - In which Luffy almost drowns, and thinks about some stuff, and the author has one of the best grasps on his personality and attitude towards death I’ve ever seen. Also every time I reread this I find myself holding my breath, which should tell you something. 

✖ by Faktory - ~1000 words - Vivi gets a tattoo, for remembrance’s sake. We need more Vivi in fic just in general, and this one is just so warm and meditative and lovely.

reach up to me (if you even can) by guiltylights - ~1500 words - Look it’s just a fic about Ace getting to see tiny Luffy post Gear Third and laughing his ass off for a solid five minutes. Good shit. Brothers. 

In Another Life by marimoes - ~1800 words - Hey I know you guys love Doflamingo and Rocinante do yourselves a favor and just read this one? It’s not happy but man it sure is something. Closure? I dunno but it’s good. 

tomorrow never happens by midnightluck - ~2000 words - Pre-canon, Sabo runs into a Vice Admiral who seems to know him for some reason and everything works out pretty well. 

Back So Soon by Moriohno - ~3000 words - Post-canon, Brook keeps his promise, just go read it right now it might make you cry but like for happy reasons. 

A Way to Reach the Future by JadeFlicker - ~3000 words - The Strawhats accidentally land on the frozen wasteland that used to be Ohara. More hopeful than you’d think. Also one of the few fics I can’t read in public because I will cry. 

Interlude for Eight Straw Hats and One Giraffe by Maldoror_Chant - ~4000 words - Kaku has a terrible horrible no good very bad day, and probably has to falsify a mission report. Honestly just hilarious from start to finish. 

paint the flag and fly it high by Codedredalert - ~4000 words - Pre-canon fic about the baby Heart Pirates stealing a submarine, designing their Jolly Roger, and largely failing to paint said Jolly Roger on said submarine. 

disaster in the making (we’re not sorry for it) by guiltylights - ~4000 words - The original fic I recced that prompted this ask, but I’m putting it here again now that I’m making a proper list cause it’s just excellent and needs more appreciation. Law crashes a Shichibukai meeting with a big sack of hearts and Hancock and Doflamingo get to bear witness. 

Deliverance by Sarcasticles - ~7000 words - Listen, I know a lot of you who follow me love Sabo and Koala. Read this fic. Pre-canon, they have their first mission on their own, everything goes wrong, Sabo does some arson, it’s excellent. 

Prospects by BrambleFuzz - ~9000 words - Katakuri joins the long list of people who did not get the heads up that friendship with Monkey D. Luffy isn’t optional once he’s made up his mind about it. Rip.

Birds of Alubarna by kurgaya - ~29000 words - The Strawhats go to a masquerade and that’s kind of all I can say about the plot on this one- and okay listen I know it’s long and also kind of baffling at first but YALL this author’s prose is so floaty and magical and it goes so well with the sort of unreal fantastical nature of events and it’s just good?? It’s just good. Also Vivi is in it and that’s always a bonus.

Chaptered Fics, AKA Half of These are Fix-It Fics and I’m Not Sorry

Lionheart by cyan96 - ~28000 words, Unfinished - tbh I nearly didn’t put this one on the list because I feel like most people who follow me have probably already read it, since I read my tags and I know how many of you love Law and Cora, but, on the off chance you haven’t, go read it rn. Go. Do it. 

Sea of Monsters by WhirlyBird70 - ~32000 words, Unfinished but it’s more like a bunch of short stories anyways - Bunch of fucked up stuff in this one so mind the tags but like, it’s a The East Blue is Full of Demons AU and it’s good weird shit so if you’re into that go read it. 

Small Changes by sweetscentences - ~37000 words, Finished - More Law and Cora. Honestly this one is just… so happy and domestic and good?? Also it’s got baby Heart Pirates, and they’re fucking adorable. (Also the author says they’re working on a sequel, so go support that!)

our shores of starlight (come sailing in) by kurgaya - ~46000 words, Finished - First thing on this list to not actually be gen- it’s Zolu, kinda, but not really focused on that? Mostly it’s just about Zoro. He’s a ghost in a sword, which is absolutely not gonna stop Luffy from recruiting him. I already talked about how great kurgaya’s prose is somewhere above this and that applies here too, it’s just gorgeously written. 

Scylla by missmungoe - ~50000 words, Finished - Technically this one’s not gen either, it’s Makino/Shanks. Makino marries a pirate, becomes a pirate, gets a sword, nearly gives Garp an aneurysm. Please read it. 

Overcoming an Era by Beyond_Kailani - ~60000 words, Unfinished - Ace bumps into a very familiar blonde in a top hat while searching for Blackbeard and ends up dragging him along. Maybe my favorite ongoing fic? I’m a huge sucker for canon divergence with regards to the ASL brothers and this is just, that, and it’s wonderful. 

Within Risk of Reason by Depths - ~60000 words, Unfinished - Another Sabo-centric ASL fix it, I’m a simple woman with simple tastes- but really. It’s got time travel, and crimes, and vaguely dubious adoption. What more do you need? It’s so so good. 

Obligatory Shitty Self-Promotional Note

I’m not narcissistic enough to make a whole nother list here, but I also write OP fic and my ao3 is Origamidragons if you want to check that out! 

[curiouscarllee]

Hello, I'm making a list of my OCs with a bit of art and information! I am doing this because I feel as though I post a lot about my characters without ever providing any detail, so, here you go :) On top of this, I'd like to state that I am always intrested in hearing about your ocs as well, you are more than welcome to send me an ask about them or about my own characters :)

Fairlynn: My Main

Fairlynn is a bosmer, he is the Hero of Kvatch and also Sheogorath. He is a tad unpredictable and has some mental issues in regards to mirroring the mad god and myself. Fairlynn was 28 when he started with saving the world, only 29 when it ended and full of grief with Martin's passing. This drove him to the Shivering Isles in hopes that he could persuade a daedric prince to revive his beloved. That's not at all how it went down, upon noticing this realm was not one of a stronger prince, Fairlynn was tempted to leave the plane but found himself infatuated with it instead.

After a few years, the princes sensed a danger approaching, one in the form of an imperial male that had the possibility of defeating them. Therefore, they agreed to send one of themselves down to nirn in an attempt to stop it. Unfortunately, they chose Fairlynn to get the job done and yeeted him down where the bosmer began to gather enforcments in the form of other people which he thought would become allies when they grew older.. But what he didn't expect was the imperial managed to befriend every. Single. One. Of the people Fairlynn had set on course to hate the man, none of them truly did. That's the exact moment where he went, "if you can't beat em' join em'." And promptly joined the group in his mortal form without revealing to them who he was. Instead the group thinks he's just a skooma addict that is talented in the ways of fighting. They have no idea.

Ragnar

This is that imperial male stated in the last description. This man is destined to destroy the influence of the daedric princes on the mortal people, however, he has the intelligence of a box of rocks and everyone doubts this prophecy to be true. The only time one can possibly think this true is when he displays his power in the midst of battle, he was blessed by the divines at birth, each giving him power to defeat the evil of the world. He his bound to use it.. But he never uses it for good, I mean,, why would he? He could kill anyone he wants! No way he's gonna be the "good hero"! (Basically, this was my brother's character and he used mods to make him op so I had to improvise.)

Past wise, my brother and I decided to intertwine him with the lore. You rememeber the song Ragnar the Red? That was Ragnar's father. In truth, his name should be Ragnar the second or Ragnar Jr. but his mother, Matilda, said "hahahaha, no, your father was a mess and you shall not be him." and removed the second part. After his mother died of a sickness, Ragnar hesitantly moved towns in search of work. He missed his mother greatly and would give anything to have her back.

S'arra

Meet S'arra, she is a khajiit female and the heart of the group (along side another who you'll meet shortly). S'arra is the youngest, she may be sweet but she'll rob you blind if she sees a chance. S'arra came from a happy family in Elsywer, she was the child of F'awn and Ja'zaka, two khajiit with completely different sets of morals. Ja'zaka was a born bandit, he was wild and carefree, F'awn (My friends oc :)) was a gentle and caring woman, she loved to live. When F'awn got pregnant, her brother, J'ar, lost his mind. J'ar was fueled with anger towards Ja'zaka and at one point made an attempt at his brother-in-law's life. It was at that moment J'ar was kicked from F'awn's life, he ran from his home and joined a vampire clan/bandit group in Skyrim.

Only months after her birth, Ja'zaka disappeared. He ran and never came back. F'awn tried her best to raise S'arra, but one morning S'arra was taken from her by a rabid animal that invaded the town. The creature took off with S'arra and lead the small khajiit to it's den where a caravan traveling to Skyrim would soon find her and take her with them, raising her as their own on the roads of Skyrim. The caravan was killed and attacked by a certain bandit group/vampire clan (hahaha, yup, the one J'ar is in). S'arra joined the group in hopes of revenge, although, she'll keep that bit to herself. ;)

Adoren

Now this orc, oh he's amazing. He is an old man, a precious old man with a past of pain and betrayal. In order to introduce his past, we need to introduce his adpoted brother first:

Zanik

This is Adoren's adopted brother, Zanik (grandson of Nellie), a not so nice older man. Zanik was thrown out by his father a young age, more precisely, he was thrown in a river by his father in one of his father's crazed fits. Zanik can't swim, he hates water more than anything else in his life. The dunmer was washed to shore near an orc stronghold where he was picked up by Adoren and adopted by the orcs family. Zanik and Adoren lived happily for many many years, one day they went on an exploration to scout for different hunting grounds. It started to pour causing the two to take shelter in a dwemer ruin. That's when they heard soft groaning and sounds of pain coming from down one of the halls. Hesitantly, they explored. Only to find:

Kidawe

My most lore breaking character! Meet Kidawe, a small snow elf from one of the last remaining villiages of falmer! Now, yes, I am breaking the lore because, since when has canon lore stopped me? Kidawe lived on top of the mountains to the north of Cyrodiil and the South of Skyrim. His village is small and portable, in case they need to move, the tribe of elves is shrouded in mystery, they've managed to live this long and refuse to leave their mountain. Kidawe doesn't listen to that, he runs off each night in search for dwemer ruins, things he find more then interesting. The young elf holds no fear when he's in his element, and he loves to explore. One evening, while in a ruin he is attacked by a vampire/bandit named Raeferth (the leader) who pushes him to join the group, trying to convince the snow elf that his expertise is needed. Kidawe refuses and then engages in battle with the nord, he looses and ends up pinned under a fallen pillar that crushes his arm.

Upon waking up after falling unconscious from the pain, Kidawe is met with the sight of Adoren and Zanik standing over him. After many many months of trust building, the two get Kidawe to befriend them. Kidawe uses their help to fashion himself a new arm from dwarven parts found in the ruin. After a few years, Kidawe disappears. He was taken by force by Raeferth (the others do not know this). Adoren and Zanik are heart broken. They miss their friend greatly.

Adoren/Zanik Pt.2

After losing Kidawe, these two go off and join a bandit group.. Yes the same vampire clan group. Adoren thrives in the group, he his strong and more then willing to get his hands dirty. Zanik.. Not so much. Zanik is only kept around because of Adoren. They all know not to mess with Zanik or else they mess with Adoren.

After spending a few years with them, Adoren decides he can't continue this. Zanik begs him not to leave, trying to make the orc realize that this group will not let them go without hurting them. Adoren doesn't listen and leaves the bandits, later that day the stronghold is burnt to the ground. Adoren looses everything in the fire, his parents pass away, his friends and family. Instead of processing lose normally, he makes it up in his head that the reason Zanik was warning him was because Zanik had a hand in it. Therefore the two fight and Adoren punches Zanik, he's wearing a ring that catches under Zanik's flesh and pratically tears off his cheek leaving the dunmer with a horrible scar. Adoren warns Zanik never to speak with him again.

Which of course doesn't stand because after they grew up into old men, they cross eachother's paths once more. They both join up with the good guy group at different times, Adoren joins first after he finds them in his house, and Zanik joins when he is once again found washed up on the shore.

Zorlin

Not much on this boio, he was my first oc in the Elder Scrolls. He's an argonian heavy set warrior. Zorlin is silent and cut throat, he is a part of the Brotherhood and only joins the good guy group after his brother, Tu'ru is 'murdered' by Raeferth.

Tristane

There is so much on him. I'm just going to do bullet points:

Born in Skyrim 200+ years ago. He never knew his true parents and was instead brought up by a wealthy noble family. They more kept him around for labor.

He befriends 3 local kids, Mayrn (breton like him), Raeferth (nord trouble maker), and Lynik (Raeferth's brother).

They all cause problems and Tristane falls in love with Raeferth :D

One day Raeferth claims to have found immortality, Tristane instantly says "No, I'm not doing this." And leaves the friend group, trying to focus on himself.

He is then framed for a crime he didn't commit and sent to Cyrodiil's Imperial Prison. Then he is bailed out by the Emperor and sent to Morrowind.

Morrowind happens, Tristane changes from whining child to even whiner child with the ability to cast spells.

After Morrowind, Tristane travels to Solstiem where he is confronted with Mayrn and Lynik (both as bandit vampires).

Mayrn and Lynik try to force him back to Skyrim to see Raeferth and join them. Tristane, as he said before, says "no". So they kill him.

Now they don't really kill him, they use a method I made up called Soul Gem Reflection. This is something I completely made up but I like it so sue me. I can write an entire post on this alone so we're just gonne say, "Soul gem reflection is a method in which the targets soul is directed towards an object they held dear in life instead of dying. They're life essence is held in the soul gem, but they live in the object."

In this case, Tristane was reflected in his journal.

Lynik felt horrible for doing this to his friend, he felt guilty and returned the journal which he unknowingly relfected the breton in, and gave it to Tristane's family who in turn stuffed the journal in the basement.

Fast forward 200+ years and Adoren buys the manor, finding Tristane's journal inside and opening it. Surprise! Out springs a ghostly figure of Tristane who then convinced Adoren to take him along with the group!

Other Characters:

This is J'ar. He's mentioned above.

Also, here's some more character that aren't affiliated with the group:

-Baendil and Baendal are bosmer brothers, they were abandoned by their parents and instead found by cranky altmer father Kornan. They're bandits (not related to vampires at all). They're bad, not morally wrong but actually just bad at being bandits. They couldn't rob you even if you asked them to.

-I will add more later I'm sure.