#it's because it's so cold that the fridge stopper working

[thegardengrows-infrozenrain]

gamers it's so joever (<- has a tummy ache)

[jmnjmnjmn]

Eternal beings | Chapter 6

Pairing: Vampire!Jungkook x Human!Reader

Key words: supernatural, vampire.

Word count: less than 4,000

Warnings: swearing,  sadness, jealousy, mentions of murder

Inspo board

Masterlist

You felt drunk. Your body felt too heavy, your jacket felt too warm, your heart was beating slower than ever. You felt someone’s embrace around yourself and heard someone else speak. Or maybe it was the same person? You weren’t sure. You fluttered your eyelids and opened your eyes slowly just to be met with Jungkook's shocked stare. He was saying something, but his lips moved in slow motion. Slowly you put together what just happened. You started falling forward, but didn’t. You didn’t fall, because Jungkook caught you. “What a gentleman.” You thought and looked him in the eyes. “Wait, what?” You slowly understood the absurdity of your thoughts. “I’m dwelling on a deranged murderer?” You asked yourself and your eyes went wide. You pushed yourself away from his chest, shaking your head to clear it, but it only seemed to make you feel worse. 

“I don’t care what you have to say.” You mumbled, feeling dangerously close to throwing up.

“Wha- (Y/N).” He said in a stern tone. “Stop. Are you okay?” He pulled your arm again making you face him. He looked honestly astounded and concerned for you.

“I will be once you leave me alone.” You ripped your arm out of his embrace.

“We both know that’s not going to happen.” He said, his regular smile coming back onto his face. “Why?” You whined in your head. “Because.” He leaned towards you. “There’s something that we have in common that I’m not w-” 

“Whatever it is I don’t care.” You interrupted him and his confident demeanor dimmed. “I’m not going to stand here and listen to your bulshit s-” You were cut mid word by the sound of the shop door opening and another male voice.

“Hey. Is he bothering you?” You both turned to look at the speaker. Yoongi stepped out of the shop eying the two of you with suspicion. You felt the anger in you explode at the sight of his smug face.

“Fuck off.” The both of you spat at him and turned back to face each other, not sure whether to laugh at your synchronicity or keep bickering. 

“Just… Leave me be.” You spoke before Jungkook had a chance to and stormed off to the shop. As you went inside you cursed at your boss for putting a stopper on the door, because you would love to just slam it behind yourself. The overwhelming anger at both Jungkook and Yoongi made the fear and confusion take the back seat in your mind. You walked into the backroom to leave your bag and jacket, thought running wild in your head. “How is Jimin dating Yoongi? He must be in some kind of conspiracy with Jungkook and he’s a murderer so-”

“Are my eyes deceiving me or did I just see you outside with Jungkook?” Jimin’s sweet tone pulled you out of the trance. You didn’t turn to face him and just put on your name tag. “Explain this to me, (Y/N). He asked Taehyung to stay the night yesterday even though he could’ve asked Yoongi and I. Why?” He digged, but you stayed silent. “You spent an awful long time in the hallway with him. Alone. In the dark. What were you doing?” He kept asking. “Fine. Don’t answer me, but don’t think Yoongi won't tell me later everything he hears from Jungkook.” He said in a nonchalante tone pretending that your silence doesn’t bother him.

“While we’re on that topic.” You said as a brilliant idea came to you. “Could you give me his number?” Since Yoongi and Jungkook are probably in cahoots about this murder you can harras Yoongi about it. Because he was dating Jimin and you sort of knew him he seemed a little bit less intimidating than Jungkook who admitted to you that he ate a man.

“Jungkook’s?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Yoongi’s.” You specified and he furrowed his brows.

“Why?” Jimin asked as you walked past him out of the break room.

“I have some questions for him.” You tried to dance around the topic.

“Regarding?” Jimin asked, but before giving you a chance to answer he did it for you. “Jungkook, right?” His tone got higher in pitch with excitement.

“Well… Yes.” You dragged your words. Jimin chuckled and you saw him smile brightly as you turned to face him.

“I have a good feeling about you two.” He said, putting a finger to his chin as if he was deep in thought imagining your’s and Jungkook’s relationship. It made you gag slightly. “I’ll text you his number.” He added and pulled out his phone. A second later you had Yoongi’s number saved in your phone. You wished you had something to make him side with you and give up any information about Jungkook and their shady relationship, but you didn’t have anything other than the fact that you just jumped on him in front of the shop for trying to help you get rid of Jungkook. Despite the bad feeling you had in your stomach about the whole thing you decided upon not wasting time and texted Yoongi to meet up.

You were busy tidying up the alcohol aisle when Jimin called your name. You peaked around the shelves and saw him waving his arm for you to join him by the TV.

“There’s more information on the case you’re involved with.” He said, making space for you to get behind the counter closer to the TV. You glued your eyes to the speaker on the news hoping to see Jungkook’s face pop up.

“Recent discoveriesmade in the case of (Victim’s name)’s murder forced the police to hand the case over to the Federal Beauro of Investigation. Today’s statement made by the FBI says that Mr (Victim’s name) was affiliated with various international crime organisations against whomst the FBI is currently investigating. Many links were found between Mr (Victim’s name) and organizations involved in the illegal arms, drugs and other substances trade in our country as well as-” You stopped listening wondering what that meant in your case. Or more precisely in Jungkook’s. If he killed- ate that man… Was he still the bad guy? Or was he one of the international bad guys? You started to get overwhelmed by the questions piling in your head when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket.

“6 o’clock. Seventh Ave 3458. Take the elevator to the 17th floor.” You read the cold sounding message and cursed under your breath, remembering you had online classes at that time. “Too bad.” You shrugged. “I will have to catch up with the studying later.”

-

Seventh Avenue was not more than five kilometers further from the city than your apartment, but the neighbourhood was totally different. There were many cafes and office buildings in the area. You felt a little out of place rocking a pair of old ripped jeans and a band tshirt when everyone around you looked so dapper and fashionable in their suits. It was nearing six when you finally found the building numbered 3458. You pushed the heavy glass door and headed for the elevator. You pushed the “up” button and checked the text Yoongi sent you. “17th floor” You read for a millionth time. Your heart was beating faster than ever. “Am I going to his house? His office?” You wondered, pressing the silver seventeen button inside the elevator. “Is this one of those fancy buildings in which the elevator takes you straight to the person’s apartment?” You didn’t have time to make any more assumptions about Yoongi or his building, because when the elevator door opened on the seventeenth floor you saw Yoongi, already waiting for you in the corridor.

“I could hear your heartbeat all the way from downstairs.” He said and without any further explanations started walking down the hallway towards the open door at the far end of it. You followed right behind him, making a mental note to yourself about keeping your heartbeat slow and quiet from now on. “Your heart’s still beating.” He said stopping at the door and looking you up.

“I would hope so.” You answered back, immediately thinking it came out snarky and rude, but Yoongi didn’t seem to think so as he half laughed half exhaled loudly and shook his head. His relaxed reaction to your comment made you calm down slightly.

“Come in.” He showed you towards the door. As you walked in you heard voices behind one of the doors you saw to your left and couldn’t help, but feel a little surprised. “Does he have guests? Roommates?” You wondered as you heard Yoongi lock the door behind the two of you. “No going back now.” You thought. “Through here.” Yoongi said, walking down the thin hallway scattered with shoes. As you walked behind him you peaked through one of the doors. It was a small bedroom with nothing, but a bed and a hanging rack. It was messy with clothes and other items laying on the floor. The large glass windows in that bedroom, going all the way up to the ceiling from the ground, and the tiny hallway made you sure this was an office turned into an apartment with bedrooms to let for cheap. Yoongi led you to a kitchen located at the end of the apartment. “Tea?” He asked and you hummed in agreement. Looking at him in this scenery you didn’t feel so scared anymore. The kitchen was small and cramped, meant to be used sporadically by office workers and not daily by various tenants. There were many magnets scattered messily on the tall door of the fridge and unwashed dishes in the sink.

“I assume you wanted to meet because of Jungkook.” He said while preparing the drinks with his back turned towards you. You sat at the small table in the corner of the and sighed slightly. “Where do I start with this?” You thought.

“Well... Who is he?” You asked after deciding to begin with one of the bigger questions lingering in your head. Yoogi set two cups of hot tea on the table and sat down on the opposite end of the table. “What did he do with (Victim’s name) and why?” You added before giving him a chance to answer your first question. “And why did he stay at Taehyung’s last night? You know he followed me to work this morning?” You would keep spitting out questions if Yoongi hadn’t raised his hand to stop you.

“Let me speak and I’ll tell you everything you need to know about him and this whole… Ordeal.” He said tiredly. You leaned back in your chair and exhaled loudly. As you did that you heard a door screech somewhere in the hallway. You looked over your shoulder and noticed a tall man walking towards the kitchen with a confident look on his face.

“Yoongi.” He said, passing through the doorway. “You didn’t say you would be bringing people over.” He extended his hand towards you to shake it and so you did. “I’m Jin.”

“(Y/N).” You introduced yourself and he smiled warmly at you. Jin leaned back on the kitchen counter with his hands in his pockets and nothing but amusement in his eyes as he eyed you up and down.

“We don’t often have visitors here.” You heard Yoongi inhale sharply. “Especially of your kind.” Jin added and you tilted your head not really getting his point. “I mean human.”

“It’s better we talk in my room.” Yoongi tried interrupting him, but you heard what he said. “Human.” You repeated in your head. Yoongi stood up with his tea in hand. “Human.” You did the same and followed him out of the kitchen back down the thin hallway. 

“It was nice to meet you.” Jin said before you left the room.

“You too.” You said not really sure whether you meant it or not. Yoongi led you to the door next to the messy room you peeked into earlier. His bedroom was the same size, had the same tall windows and a double bed, but that’s about all the similarities you could count. The room was clean and dimly lit with only a small desk lamp on. Opposite to the bed stood a small desk and an even smaller dresser with lots of shelves hanging over them. Yoongi had his laptop open on the bed and you noticed his screen saver was a selfie he took with Jimin. “Especially of your kind. I mean human.” Jin’s words echoed through your head as you sat down on the chair by the desk, holding the hot cup of tea in your lap. Yoongi sat down on the bed cross-legged.

“What did he mean by human?” You asked, looking through the window at the setting sun’s reddish rays reflecting from the shiny buildings outside. He sighed.

“He meant exactly that.” He said in a heavy tone and you looked at him. not looking at you. “Humans don’t often come here.” He explained, but you still didn’t quite get it. “We’re not human.” He kept going, glancing at you to check whether you already caught on. “We’re different. Jin, Jungkook, me… There’s others too.” You furrowed your brows, not really following his point. “We’re vampires.” You scoffed, unable to contain yourself. You could believe anything, anything but that.

“Vampires?” You said in disbelief. “Right… And I’m the queen of England.” You added sarcastically.

“(Y/N), I’m serious.” He said, setting his cup down and finally making eye contact with you. “We’re... Not like you. We’re… Well, I don’t know how else to explain this to you.” He basically spat out the last couple of words, his tone indicating his quickly rising frustration. “I told you the truth. It’s up to you to decide  whether to believe it or not.” He said with spite and crossed his arms on his chest. You looked at him with something between disbelief and pity. He looked like a pouting baby sitting like that on the bed. “And I’m supposed to believe him?” You asked yourself and shook your head.

“So according to your vampire theory-” You started sceptically.

“It’s not a theory.” Yoongi interrupted you immediately.

“Okay. According to you-” You tried again.

“It’s not just me, (Y/N).” He added, annoyed.

“Will you let me speak?” You asked him, trying to appear calm and collected. He raised his hands letting you speak again. “If I were to believe what you just told me it would make you, Jungkook and that Jin guy from the kitchen vampires, right?” You couldn’t comprehend why you even entertained the idea of this.

“Right.” Yoongi agreed.

“How does that explain what Jungkook did or didn’t do to (Victim’s name)?” You asked him, hoping for something more than just a silly sounding vampire theory.

“You see, here is where it gets tricky.” Yoongi said, scratching his forehead. “Can it get any trickier?” You asked yourself tiredly. “That guy was close with someone who Jungkook was in a… Dispute with many years ago.” Yoongi’s careful choosing of words made you suspect he wasn’t telling you everything, but you let him go on without interruption. “So to finish his vendetta against that second person, who by the way was not a good person at all, he killed, or as he said, ate (Victim’s name).” 

“Oh-kay.” You had a hard time imagining Jungkook as some kind of an avenger. “And by ate you mean…” You elongated the last word to let Yoongi finish this ridiculous story.

“He drained him of blood by drinking it.” He said and you felt your stomach rise to your throat. You swallowed loudly and decided to ask him another question.

“One more thing. Where does that put me?” You asked honestly.

“What do you mean?” Yoongi frowned at your unspecific question.

“Well, Jungkook said something to me this morning. He seems to think that we have something important to him in common.” Yoongi perked up at your words. “I have no idea what that could be and frankly I don’t want to find out. Is there any way you could get him off my case?” You didn’t feel hopeful about your request to Yoongi, but you had to ask. Any help in getting Jungkook away from you was welcome at this point.

“Honestly (Y/N)... No.” You felt a weight come over your shoulders as he denied you. “If he thinks there’s something between you two-”

“There’s nothing there! I don’t even know him!” You called out in frustration.

“Listen, if he feels that there’s something…” Yoongi shook his head. “I can’t do anything about it.” He said looking you in the eye. The dim light coming from the lamp behind you combined with the shine of the setting sun outside made his pupils shimmer with a golden hue. “The two of you will have to deal with that yourselves, but (Y/N)... Trust me when I say he’s not dangerous. If what you say is true…” He sighed deeply. “If what you say is true he won’t hurt you.” For some reason his confidence in Jungkook’s good faith didn’t make you feel more reassured. Actually it only made you question everything even more. “Is there anything else I can tell you or do for you?” Yoongi asked. “Vampires…” You repeated in your head. “He’s crazy. He lost his mind…” You thought looking at him with slight pity in your eyes. His intentions seemed sincere so you decided to dig a little more, though you didn’t expect to get much sense out of whatever he said.

“Yeah… What is this place exactly?” You asked him. “Some kind of a vampire layer?” You added in your head. Yoongi’s expression hardened and as you apparently chose a topic he wasn’t too comfortable talking about.

“I guess you could call this our headquarters.” He muttered clearly not wanting to talk about it.

“Vampire headquarters…” You repeated to yourself. “Nice…”

“There’s a lot about us that you don’t know and a lot that you shouldn’t.” He quickly added after hearing the scepticism in your voice. “A lot of us- A lot…” He stammered. You saw him like this for the first time. He looked so vulnerable. You used to perceive his quietness as a sign of being bored or above everyone else, but now you realised it was a sign of shyness. Yoongi was more sensitive than everyone thought. “Maybe even more sensitive than Jimin.” You wondered. “We like to stick together. Vampires, I mean.” You only nodded not wanting to upset him with your words or tone, but one more question kept coming back to you and before you could stop yourself you were already opening your mouth to speak.

“Can you tell me more about Jungkook?” You weren’t sure whether you actually spoke or just thought the question, but Yoongi reacted by looking up at you so he surely heard you. “How is he?” You thought to yourself, but quickly snapped out of the weird feeling that came over you as you said his name.

“What exactly do you want to know about him?” Yoongi asked you. “Him… Where is he?” You wondered and looked out the window. “Stop.” You scolded yourself. “Think straight. Answer his question.” You told yourself and looked back at Yoongi who was looking at you with curiosity. “Are you okay?” You heard him say, but his mouth didn’t move. “Answer him.” You ordered yourself.

“I’m fine.” You shook your head a little to clear it, but it only made you feel dizzy.

“I didn’t ask about your wellbeing.” Yoongi said in a low voice and tilted his head trying to read you. You put one of your hands on your forehead to dratch it, it was burning. You scratched your neck and breathed in slowly trying your hardest to collect your thoughts and form a proper sentence.

“Jungkook, said something to me this morning.” Suddenly you felt really warm so you undid the top button of your striped blue shirt and scratched your throat. You looked around for an AC unit or something that could’ve made the temperature in the room rise so abruptly. “He was talking to me, but I wasn’t saying anything.”

“What do you mean?” Yoongi asked, his curiosity and amusement levels rising with each second of looking at you. You looked distressed and confused breathing slowly and looking around every now and then for something only you could see.

“He seems to think he can read my mind.” You explained resting your elbows on your knees and your head between your hands. 

“Yeah, that can happen.” You fluttered your eyelids, trying your hardest to not to let them close. “Some of us are better at that than others, but if Jungkook and you have… Certain commonalities it might be easier for him to hear you think.” Yoongi explained and for some sick reason it made sense to you at that moment. Not just that Jungkook could read your mind, but also that him and Yoongi were vampires. “I guess it makes sense.” You thought and nodded slowly, your head still in your hands. “It does.” Yoongi’s voice echoed in your head. You looked down at the beige carpet underneath your sneakers and felt a pinch in the back of your brain. “No… That’s not right.” You thought and looked back up at Yoongi. He had a small smile on his face, but he looked unsure. The sudden sound of your ringtone made you come back to your senses. You pulled your phone out to see Tahyung’s photos spread across your lock screen. You swiped right to answer the call and put the phone to your ear wishing Taehuyng didn’t have his license suspended and could pick you up right this moment.

“Hey. I’m on my way home.” He sounded just as tired as you were right now. “You want McDonalds for dinner?” His question seemed so genuine and real after what you heard from Yoongi. “Vampires, vendettas, mind reading… Yeah, right.” You thought rolling your eyes slightly.

“Yes. Get me a BigMac, would you?”

“Okay. I’ll be home at eight.” He answered and you averted your eyes towards your watch. “What time is it?” You wondered. You were shocked to realise it was nearing half past seven. “Did I really spend over an hour here?”

“See you then.” You said and ended the call. “I have to get going.” You picked up your bag and stood up, but Yoongi didn’t bother to do the same.

“You know where the door is.” He simply stated and reached for his laptop quickly coming back to his usual cold seeming self. You nodded and walked out onto the hallway. Your hand was already on the handle of the front door when someone opened it from the other side.

“Oh. Hello.” Said the guy on the outer side of the door pulling it towards himself. His expression grew softer as he took in your appearance. “I don’t believe we’ve met.” He took a step to get inside the apartment and you took a step back to let him pass you by. “I’m Namjoon.” He extended his hand towards you and somehow you felt it was some kind of trap.

“Go home, (Y/N).” Your head snapped back towards Yoongi’s bedroom door where he was standing eying Namjoon suspiciously.

“Goodbye.” You simply stated before walking out of the apartment with your gut telling you you just avoided something dangerous.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Painted Windows 4

Warnings: violence, trauma, allusions to abuse and noncon, isolation, torture, further tags to be added.

This is dark!Bucky and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You make a move.

Note: Okay, here’s some more. It will start to rev up soon, promise. I always appreciate you and thanks for all your patience. Thank you. Love you guys!

Please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3 Let me know thoughts, excitement, theories, anything.

Bucky was silent for two days, not that you could muster anything to say to him. He came with your meals, watched you eat, cleaned up your dishes, and slept in the chair. You spent your time alone walking in circles, laying on the floor, staring at the same page. It was worse than the cell because it was so close to the outside. You could hear the winds on the other side of the wood and glass but you couldn’t see them. That was a new type of torture.

But you hadn’t lost count yet. You marked the days by the pages. You folded the corner of the fifth that morning and slid it back on the shelf. You stretched and rubbed your eyes. You crossed to the covered window and placed your hands on the wood. You closed your eyes and imagined the shining snows and the hollow sky. Would spring come soon? 

You left the bathroom door open an inch and undressed. You pulled the stopper down and turned the taps. You stepped into the tub as it filled with steaming water and sank into its depths. The heat cradled you, seeped into your skin and bones, you felt… calm. You closed your eyes and floated away as a blue sky pained your imagination. Clouds crawled across in obscure shapes. You smiled as the sun hid behind one that resembled a butterfly.

You heard birds singing and the soft breeze in the leaves. You could smell the pollen and feel the warmth across your face. And then the symphony turned to a drone and then a voice, clear and firm through the crack of the door. You opened your eyes and sat up to listen.

“No, no, I told you, I’m still fixing this place up,” Bucky’s voice drifted in. “Yeah, I know it’s taking longer than I expected. I can just meet you-- No, just in the city. Your place?... An hour?”

You stood and lifted the plug. You reached for a towel as the drain groaned and stepped out onto the bath mat. You slowly pushed against the door and peeked into the room. 

Bucky stood before the table, a plate there with eggs and toast, a glass of orange juice, and a fork. He spotted you and blanched as he held a phone to his ear; it was small and unlike the clunky flip phone you called your own.

“Alright. I’ll be on my way shortly,” He said into the speaker. “Bye.”

He hit the screen and tucked the phone in his jeans pocket. He turned to you completely and sighed. His eyes lingered on the top of your towel and he swallowed.

“Get dressed. Eat.” He looked to the clock. 

“You’re leaving?” You wondered.

“For a little. I…” He went to the dresser and began to pull out clothes. A pair of black pants, a purple shirt, a pair of white cotton panties, and socks. He grabbed the stack and stalked towards you. “We’ll talk while you eat. Now get changed.”

You made to drop the towel and he caught your hand. He shook his head as his face paled. 

“In there.” He glanced at the bathroom door. You recalled the day before how he had been too distracted to notice as you stripped the wet clothes. “Here.” He shoved the clothing into your arms and nudged you towards the door. 

You hugged the bundle and tiptoed into the bathroom. You closed the door with your foot and set the clothes on the counter. You didn’t look at the mirror as you dressed; couldn’t bring yourself to acknowledge the strange reflection.

You hung the towel on the bar and went back to the bedroom. Bucky leaned against the wall with arms crossed. You went to the chair and sat. He was tense and impatient. You picked up the fork and he nodded.

“Look,” He exhaled, “I work in the city… mostly. Sometimes, I travel. So, I’ve been trying to figure out a way to make sure you’re taken care of. That’s what I’ve been working on.”

You cut out a piece of egg white and popped it in your mouth as you listened wide-eyed.

“I have work coming up soon and I’ll be away a couple days so today you’re moving.” He explained. “You’ll have everything you need. And I have a special phone for you in case you need me. Emergencies only, understand. It only dials out to me so don’t think of trying anything.”

You put down your fork and grabbed the toast. You bit into it and chewed slowly.

“Are you hearing me?” He squinted. You swallowed and took a sip of juice.

“I am,” You assured him. “So your work… you kill people?”

“Bad people. Or I like to think so,” He said. 

“And you… save the good?” You asked.

“Try to.”

“And am I a job to you?”

“If I had done my job, you’d be dead.” He said evenly. “You are... “ His eyes flicked down and he shrugged. “You are here.”

You blinked at his vague answer and took the fork again. Even when this man was talking, he said nothing. You finished your eggs and nibbled the toast to the crusts before draining the glass.

“So… where are you moving me to?” You glanced over at him.

“To your room. It’s all yours.” He dropped his arms and pushed himself away from the wall. 

“Mmm,” You stood reluctantly. “Am I supposed to call it home?”

“Call it what you will but you will be safe and comfortable,” He replied. “I doubt you would say the same of your former accommodation.”

“A prison is a prison.” You muttered. “Bars or not.”

He said nothing as he went to the door. Just waited for you to follow as he pulled it open.

It wasn’t far at all. Only just down the hall, the very next door. He ushered you inside and was just a quick as ever to close you in. The walls were grey, padded with a soundproof barrier. There were two other doors; a closet and a bathroom. A small dresser and night tables that book-ended the bed.

Along the opposite side of the room was a compact kitchenette; mini fridge, microwave, tiny counter and sink, some cupboards. Had he done all this in mere days? You looked around again and your stomach flurried with nerves. You neared the windows slowly. No boards, only thin lace curtains.

He followed as you peered out into the snowy yard. “You can see out but not in.” He stated. “Shatter proof.”

Your elation died at his words. Still a cell to keep you. You stepped around him and wandered along the foot of the bed to the small round table. He came up on the other side as you looked down at the hardcover notebook. He slid it toward you.

“You should try writing out your thoughts.” He suggested. “It’s supposed to help.”

“I don’t… know.”

“You should do something to keep yourself busy,” He insisted. “You don’t have to write about what happened, just about now or anything.”

“I don’t get it.” You looked at him. “You act like you’re helping me by keeping me here but it’s no different than before.”

He frowned and backed away. “There’s more than enough food for you to survive in my absence. I trust you can figure out how to make yourself a sandwich or two.” He retreated to the door and spun back. “Phone’s in the nightstand to the left. Television remote is with it. Movies just beneath and Netflix pre-programmed.” 

“You’re leaving today?” You asked.

“Tomorrow.” He said. “But I’m meeting a friend in the city. Co-worker. Then some running around. I’ll bring your clothes when I return.”

You nodded and lowered your head. “Am I supposed to thank you for all this? This pretty little cell?”

“Do what you want,” He uttered.

The handle turned audibly and was followed by the snap of the door closing. A heavier lock whirred into place and you peeked up at the punch pad. You couldn’t hear him walk away or the creak of the stairs. You could only hear your own breathing as you were once more trapped.

Bucky returned hours later. You barely noticed as you were enraptured by a show you found on the television. It had been so long since you’d seen a screen. So much had changed. The characters all had glowing skin and phones like Bucky’s and the world was so bright. Unlike yours.

He brought a special meal with him. The smell of the pizza broke your concentration. You went to him as he opened the box. 

“I should’ve asked you what you wanted,” He said. “But I just got cheese.”

“That’s okay.” You sat and took a slice. “It’s…” Your eyes began to water more than your mouth. “I haven’t had pizza in ages. I…”

He grabbed a slice and settled in the chair across from you. “Take it easy. Don’t push yourself.”

“Thanks,” You said without thinking and bit into the slice. “Mmm.”

He was slow to eat his. You barely noticed that it was because he was distracted by you. You ate even the crust and sat back. 

“You can have another,” He offered.

“No, I don’t think I could,” Your stomach felt full already.

“Did you write anything?” He looked down at the notebook beside the pizza box.

The momentary cheer left you and you stood. You grabbed a piece of paper towel from above the counter and wiped your hands. 

“I have nothing to write about.” You said.

He was quiet. He took another piece and finished it quickly. He rose shortly after. 

“You can put the rest in your fridge and keep it for tomorrow. I’m leaving before sunrise.”

“Okay.” You muttered.

He huffed and dragged his feet to the door. You didn’t look at him as you went back to the bed and hit play. You could feel him watching you.

“Don’t forget, you can call me.”

“Mmhmm,” You nodded and watched the colours flash on the screen though the words were gibberish in your head.

“Good night.” He said.

You focused on the television as the air grew tense. He opened the door at last and left you with the usual grind of the lock. You fell back against the pillows and grunted. You hated this. Him acting like it was all normal. Like it was paradise. 

And you just couldn’t figure him out. One moment he seemed caring, even nice. The next he was steely and cold. The swing of the pendulum was worse than the sheer cruelty of your former wardens.

For the first time since your arrival, you slept alone. No chair by the door, no rhythmic snoring to calm you. Only the silence encapsulated in your new cell. The shadows of furniture loomed over you and your heart raced too much to doze. The night was fitful and restless.

You rose before the sun and stared out the window. You heard nothing in the house but watched as the car backed out of the long drive and disappeared down the winding road. You felt lonely now that he was gone, not that he was great company. Helpless might have been a better word for it.

You boiled water in the microwave and made a cup of tea. You sat at the table in the light of a single lamp. You sipped and wondered what to do with yourself. It had never been much of a question before. There wasn’t anything to do but lay in wait of your next assault.

You could finish the series you stayed up late watching or try reading again. You set aside your mug and reached for the notebook. You opened the cover to the first page. It read; this journal belongs to ___________. You uncapped the pen and twirled it in your fingers. You scribbled in the corner until the ink began to work. Then you wrote in unsteady, slanted script; no one. 

You flipped the page and hovered your hand above the top line. You didn’t know the date so instead you wrote the number six. Your sixth day there, though it felt like longer.

You moved to the next line. Your hand was slow at first, unsure of the letters to write. Then they formed easier as you reached the fourth, fifth, six lines. You went until you were at the bottom of the page. Your tea was cold and so were you. You closed the notebook and went to the bed. You fell asleep in seconds.

[city-of-spooks]

There is a Selkie in our bathtub.

A short story about casting off your skin, fishfingers and a dog called Dennis.

She’s quiet now, but usually, you can hear her moving about because the water splashes over the rim and Dad goes mad about the floor.

“Fish don’t pay the deposit,” he says.

“Miss McColl says seals are mammals, not fish,” I explain.

We had a lesson about animals and their families at the beginning of term and there was a whole bit on seals. They raise their pups on milk, like people do, and the mums look after them until they are ready to go out and swim on their own.

Dad does not find this helpful. His mouth goes all thin when he’s unhappy, like someone has pulled on the other side of his beard. A lot of it is grey, now.

The couple on the bottom floor has a big dog that always sniffs my pockets, with fur like silvery wire. It’s called Dennis. Sometimes he comes and watches me tie my laces in the morning, eyes like jawbreakers. He just sits there. And then the lady will whistle for him and he pads home, big paws slapping like welly boots.

•

I think Dennis might have been a person.

Sometimes I dream about things like that. My mouth opens and bubbles come out, floating towards the ceiling, and the blankets go soft and slippery. You can pull them over you like a cocoon. My bones go to jelly inside my skin - but it’s a good thing. It makes sense, somehow.

Then I wake up and I feel even weirder; like someone has bundled all of my left shoes into a bag and dumped them off the pier.

“I don’t know where you get all this shite from,’ says Dad.

I try not to talk too much when he gets back from work, so mornings are the best time to ask him things.

How big can the waves get? Big.

Why doesn’t Gilly sink? Good boats don’t sink.

Do you have to go? I needed this shift. The old woman said she’ll have you.

Hmm. What’s the weirdest fish you’ve ever fished? It wasn’t a fish.

•

Dad doesn’t like talk after work. He’s always quiet. Angry, I think. Always smells like fish and salt and the sticky seaweed that gathers under the pier. He used to get straight into the shower and stay in there for ages, coming out all red and scrubbed like a shiny lobster.

I don’t think flannel ‘once-overs’ are helping because he still stinks of Gilly.

Dad still goes straight into the bathroom, but he can’t use the tub because it’s got… her in it. Sometimes he goes in with a bucket full of glassy-eyed fishies.

It always comes out empty. No bones in the plughole.

I eat my tea in front of the TV, leaving four fish-fingers in the oven for Dad.

The volume has to be loud to drown out Mr Kinney’s radio upstairs - but sometimes I can hear him talking in the bathroom. It echoes. His voice is low, rumbly. There might be a splash, the taps running, buckets being filled and brought out onto the landing. I brush my teeth there and spit into the toilet next door.

When I’m feeling brave, I can hold my breath and push my ear to the wall.

Thump. Murmurs. Low. Dad. Thump. Quiet. Splash. Thump. Quiet. Dad again. Thump. Thump. Thump.

I’m there for ages. A lot longer than I thought, because I’m getting sleepy and my toes are going all stiff in the cold from under the door. Then... a click. It’s loud and I scramble into my bed, thinking it’s Dad turning the light switch.

It isn’t.

•

He doesn’t eat his dinner. He talks to the tiles all night.

I’m not supposed to tell anybody, but Dad says not to especially tell Granny about the Selkie.

She’s not my real Granny, she’s actually the old lady who owns the flats, but she’s been here for as long as I can remember. Her eyes are watery like milk and she smells like smoke, but she always stops to give me these little chewy toffees whenever I see her on the stairs.

Dad says I shouldn’t take sweets from strangers, even Mrs Keeley. He doesn’t like me calling her Granny. His nose wrinkles like he’s smelt something off.

Once she came and hammered on the door really loudly when I was in bed, yelling about lots of things. Dad’s weird hours and the water pipes clanging when she’s trying to watch the news. She’s always watching the news.

Sometimes she braids my hair when I stay over. Her fingers curl where they shouldn’t, but they still manage to brush out the tangles Dad can’t get when we’re rushing for the bus.

“You’re really good at that,” I say. My mouth is full of peppermint chew.

I don’t take my shoes off, sitting with my school bag tucked between my legs. I want to curl around it like seaweed.

“My Lorna was always head sore.”

Mrs Keeley sounds like she’s smiling.

“I had to get her hair done quick or it wouldn’t get done at all.”

She ties off my plait with a bow. Blue ribbon. Her fingers hold onto the ends of it like she doesn’t know when to stop - and the jelly-bones feeling comes back, just for a moment.

“You never lose it.”

•

When I go back upstairs to our flat, Dad still isn’t home.

If this happens I’m meant to go back to Mrs Keeley and stay with her a bit longer, even though her rooms are always a bit too warm, like she’s trying to heat the entire place up from top to bottom.

Our bit is quiet. And cold.

I want to show Dad my hair and how pretty it is - it looks like how Shauna’s Mum does hers. Sometimes I stare at it when I’m in science.

The tap drips. Once, twice, three times.

I’m supposed to be in bed, but if I’m hungry the fridge has those leftover fish-fingers from the other night. But I’m not hungry. My stomach is full of peppermint chews.

When I pass the bathroom, my foot catches the spot where the carpet has rolled up. The floor is squeakiest there - and it groans when I go to catch myself from falling. My hand loudly slaps the landing wall. Ouch.

Water hits the tiles on the other side of the wall, a huge spray clattering against the old shampoo bottles and soaking the shower-curtain. I can almost feel it under my stinging palm, and just know that Dad’s going to be really angry about the floor this time.

But I don’t care. I want to see her. Selkie.

My voice comes out all wobbly.

“It’s me...”

I don’t want to scare her, even though I sound a lot different than Dad.

She still hasn’t seen me yet - but knows I exist. My name gets passed around the taps during those late-night chats. I think that’s enough.

•

Dad was in a rush that morning. He went to bed angry and woke up groggy, nearly putting his foot in the sink-that’s-actually-a-bucket. I think everyone had weird dreams, even if we didn’t dream the same thing.

I dreamt that the bedroom was full of water again. Fish swam in shoals through the wardrobe, picking at Dad’s thick mariner’s socks and hiding in the blankets. My shoes floated past me, hitting our bobbly ceiling with a thunk.

I looked down at the bed, the pillows billowing like jellyfish, mattress lifting from rusty springs.

Something is there, right at the edge-

•

I take a deep breath and open the bathroom door. It’s cold, smelling of fish and the underbelly of the pier. Buckets are everywhere - some full of water, some with half-eaten fish guts sloshed up the sides. I feel a bit sick.

Now, our bath is pretty deep. It’s very old, the kind that takes up the whole boiler if you let it, so we have to top it off with pans heated on the stove if it runs short. I can’t peer into it from the doorway, but I can see long, browning lines painted on the tiles. We have those markers on my classroom wall, groups of five scrunched together in a weird pattern.

I think they’re called tally-

A CLICK sounds from the bottom of the tub, the noise loud and sharp.

I drop my bag.

The oily blanket stuffed at the bottom tumbles out of it, along with my sandwich crusts, landing by one of the buckets with a thump. I’d go to reach it, but my feet won’t move.

Jelly-bones again. The world has gone quiet. All I can hear is my heart thumping loudly and the grumble-rumble of Mr Kinney’s radio. Dennis is barking from the bottom flat. Someone is yelling outside.

The tap isn’t dripping anymore.

I step closer to the tub and my mouth flops open, like one of Dad’s biggest catches.

Dead fish. Hook-in-lip.

Stoppered in the spout is a toe, with silvery webbing connected between each one. There’s a long foot, leading up to a shaky knee crisscrossed with streaks of pearly white. It’s hard to make out over the mottled brown patches blooming across her skin, but it’s a very pretty pattern. Like Mrs Keeley’s swirly carpet and-

“Coira.”

•••

Author’s note: I could have ended it there, but I am a slut for the poetic and always over-egg my stuff - especially when I’m stressed. So here’s a Director’s Cut finish.

There’s nothing else to know.

I’m older - and yet younger than I’ve ever been.

My home is spread over miles of water, mountainous waves and my stomach is full of fish.

I have siblings now. A whole colony, rookery and herd of family. We go by many things.

Sometimes the men in the boats call us a ‘Bob.’

It’s a name that hurts the back of my head but the memory always slips away before too long, for I am coated in an oil-slick. Soft and sleek. Quick.

We spend our days playing in the long weeds, hunting, playing, nudging - sometimes we even stretch out onto the beaches and soak up the sun. Children come to watch us, their sticky fingers reaching to pull at our coats but the parents always steer them away.

They never let on to what they really know.

On a handful of nights, when the moon is full and bright, we walk on the shore. My skin is bundled up and always kept within my sight, tucked behind a stump of the old pier.

It’s been years since I’ve seen myself like this. Longer legs, thick thighs and stomach to keep warm in the winter currents. The brown and white mottles running up and down my skin are less graceful on me, more abstract.

I think of a painting made with fingers - maybe mine? - from many years ago. It hung on the fridge for months, until it got swallowed by angry red letters.

But we continue to dance. My eyes, which can see through shifting silt and roaring tides, do not search beyond the beach. I simply spin faster and the seagrass tied in my hair shimmers in the moonlight.

Sometimes I feel a person or two watching us.

One of my sisters laughs and it cracks through the silence like a bark, more voices rising with it until the calls of early morning gulls are drowned out.

It’s the darkest moment before dawn. In this light, the seagrass looks like a dark blue ribbon.

[ill-skillsgard]

Ascent - Bill Skarsgård

Title: Ascent

Warning: 18+ voyeurism/masturbation/language

Description:  A collection of scents and scenes strung together by strange sequences of secrecy and surveyance.

A/N: DAMNIT YOU GUYS. This is my 3rd time posting this fic. It will no longer include the image of the sexy Bill look-alike wanking because wE cAn’T hAvE NiCe tHiNgS. Also, please don’t ask me to send the image because I can’t be sure of ages and I won’t be dinged for providing pr0nz to potentially underage people. I’m so sorry. I tried!

ISO: Quiet roommate; preferably female. Males acceptable too if you're cleanly. Split rent loft in quaint & upscale Rosewell neighbourhood with everything included. 1200 upfront first and last and then rent can be negotiated. E-mail. Do not call/text.

I only had 900 dollars on me but I figured if I e-mailed the person that had put out the ad and set up a time to meet the following week then I could earn enough in tips to cover the rest. Easy as that. Breathing became a little less laboured once I sat back on my futon and realized that I wasn't quite as fucked as I initially thought. Then I wondered how in the hell somebody could use the words quaint and upscale to describe the same neighbourhood. Which one was it? Quaint or upscale? How could it be both? All I was sure of was that I had to find a roommate quickly. The new landlord of my apartment building had decided that I had something to do with the junkies shooting up in the storage unit behind the building, as though I had knowledge of it the whole time and failed to make a report of it, therefore, making me part of the problem. But it wasn't just that; this guy was a jackass of ultimate proportions- a seedy little rich momma's boy that had inherited his parents' sense of self-entitlement and strings of real estate offices spanning across the city and surrounding counties. We did not click at all upon first meeting when he made his rounds to see exactly what kind of tenants he would be dealing with. In fact, the moment I opened the door to my apartment and he peered in to see the apparent cluster-bomb that had gone off in my bachelorette pad, he set his sights on destroying me, or at the very least, evicting me. If only I hadn't answered the door in my stained sweatpants and wrinkled t-shirt from a decade ago when my taste in music remained under-developed. If only I hadn't had the day's worth of crusted mascara stuck in the inner corners of my eyes like black boogers. If I had thrown my hair up in a semi-cute messy bun, rolled down the waistband of my stretchy pants and tossed on my only reputable sweater maybe things could have gone differently. But I didn't. Instead, I let him catch a glimpse into the trash-covered world of crooked posters, laundry and pizza boxes. His prissy, Gucci-wearing ass got one whiff of my body odour and my fate was sealed. Whatever though, shit happens. Even if Millennial pretty-boy newbie landlord hated me, I didn't quite hate myself. Sure, I had had better times in my life but there had also been much worse. I was just going through my annual depression when the Summer was long gone and the scent of leaves rotting in the gutters rang in the impending frost. Who wanted to do anything but sit around and play video games or watch TV for six straight hours after work? Certainly not I. I e-mailed the guy living in Rosewell because I had been through that area once or twice and remembered that it was one of the nicer neighbourhoods; its remnants of old city charm and decadent architecture still intact. That's when I gave it a second thought. 1200 for first and last month's rent was not that much, considering the location. My brain caught up with me and I recognized that there would probably be dozens of people replying to the listing and that my chances were diminished to almost nothing. Oh well, I read on and circled more potential ads with the tip of a fresh permanent marker that was starting to give me a headrush. By some grace of luck, I received an e-mail back the next day from the person that had put out the Rosewell advertisement. It dawned on me that I also didn't know whether he or she was a he or a she or a they. It seemed mundane to ask but the person didn't include their name in the reply and their email address was an obscure reference that I wasn't sure I understood. My imagination decided to take a jog and came upon the silly little notion that perhaps this was one of those things when serial killers lure in unsuspecting victims with promises of rent so cheap in a gentle neighbourhood where nobody would think to look for a body. It was classic of me but I couldn't pretend like I wasn't thinking about it. At least death would help put a stopper in my rut. I didn't know what to expect, walking up to the building with a face sectioned off into quadrants- each with their own tiny glass door and artful wrought iron laced balcony. What kind of a person lived inside? Was it a peppy university student with a small dog and a knack for pulling off an active-wear-is-all-I-wear look? Could it be another snotty, uptight rich boy like my fuck-bag of a landlord? Or perhaps it was a nice older lady that fancied her wine and lived in an effortlessly baroque den, lined with books and trinkets from her travels abroad. Either way, I just hoped they approved of me since I had taken the time to shower, put on a bit of makeup and dress like the clothes I owned weren't questionably clean or variably dirty all the time. The door was painted black and nobody could see through the glimmering panels of stained glass that made up an intricate checkerboard of red and blue with two cantaloupe roses coiling up and away from each other, petals agape and ready to fall. I gave the door a good look over with a smug grimace that was just a feint for my awe. The place was definitely too nice for me but I soldiered on and smiled when I heard the door being unlocked. A man opened the door and the scent of wood and something else immediately wafted out like a ghost casually passing by. Not only was he a man, but a looming sculpture dressed in a sagging brown wool sweater that threw me off from my rehearsed speech. He was tall, pale and had such striking eyes behind his glasses that I couldn't quite meet them without feeling some hint of discomfort. It was like somebody had tossed a limp rug on the statue of David the way his knitted sleeves hung loosely around thick veiny wrists. "Hi. Bill," he motioned to himself. "Won't you come in?" "Um, yeah. Sure." The mud room was painted in tarnished blood orange and was home to a wooden rack full of men's shoes. There were trainers with hints of dirt on the toes and soles, leather dress shoes with the fancy gold buckles on the front, more dress shoes, stylish suede ankle boots, and beaver fur lined moccasins. I could taste the transition from the cool Autumn air to the musky inside of the home. The floors were all wood, the banister leading upstairs was carved from another expensive type of tree and the shelving units were solid oak stretching from floor to high ceiling. Every wall was home to some kind of meticulously placed decorative object. But there were also family photos to lend the place a warm and happy glow. Or it could have just been how the sun shone through the clear bay windows. I was led through the house, past a large cupboard tucked beneath the staircase and a small writing desk that was home to a  vintage typewriter cased in filigrees of polished silver. It was then I noticed all the framed book pages lining the walls. We entered a kitchen and I was blown away by how roomy it was compared to the tight, warm front that made up the mudroom and what I had determined was a living room that had been converted into a reading room. There was no TV but there was a chaise lounge with a stack of old books reaching up to a cascading hand-carved armrest. "This is the kitchen. The fridge will be mostly yours. I just use the bottom shelf and the crisper on the left. I just ask that you keep your section clean." "Right," I nodded. "The stove is gas, the fireplace is gas... Everything is gas in here. Um... It gets kind of cold in the winter because the electric baseboards don't really work. If you turn them on it makes the whole place smell like burning sawdust. So... You can use a plug-in heater in your room but... Just wear slippers on the floors." "Oh, okay. Good to know." "Uh... Yeah. The laundry room is through there. I also keep my bike back there. There's another rack mount for a bike if you have one." "No, just my car." "Hmm," Bill pondered with a grimace. I bit my lip and hoped that he wasn't biting his lip from derision. He took in a breath through one of the daintiest noses I had ever seen on a man and adjusted his glasses for a moment before pulling them off completely to wipe the lenses on the hem of his brown knit sweater. "Parking can be kind of a bitch around here," he warned. "Yeah, " I chuckled. "I probably pulled around the block six times before something opened up." "You'll have to get used to that... Or just get a bike like everyone else." With a forced laugh, I attempted to hide the odd sense of shame that he had instilled by suggesting that nobody around these parts bothered with silly things like motor vehicles. Fuck, that could mean he was some sort of health nut that would turn his nose up if he saw the types of meals I made for myself and how lazy I could get. Aside from his alarming curtness, Bill seemed to be calm and easygoing. The house was a wooden ladder of a place; stacked with his worldly possessions and Scandinavian accouterments. It was easy to conclude that he was a single man that kept to himself and I did my best to show him that I fit into the same category. Although, it seemed as though he had already decided that I was moving in. He referred to everything as his, mine or ours and led me through the rest of the house like both our minds were already made up. "Here's the room. It's right next to mine. You have an en-suite bathroom. Toilet kind of acts up once in a while and the shower drain is prone to clogging but it's all easy fixes. Oh... And the walls are kind of thin. I ask that if you have guests over in the evening to keep the socializing downstairs. I suppose I can't really stop you from having people in your room but... I do enjoy my quiet." "That's okay. I don't really hang out with too many people," I said. Bill strolled into the center of the empty room, the soles of his shoes hitting the floor echoed off the bright white walls. He had his hands shoved into the pockets of his trousers as he spun on a heel to face me. His shoulders drew up to his ears and for the first time, he cracked a smile. It didn't last long and was accompanied by a shrug of closure. "What do you think?" He asked. "It's nice. I like it. A lot. It's very... Homey." Bill nodded, "yes. So will you take it?" "Uh... You don't have any questions for me? Or anyone else to show the place to?" His full lips set into another grimace as though my question scratched the scab off of a wound that had yet to close. Swallowing hard, I immediately began to regret my inquiry. I should have just been grateful that he saw fit to trust me without so much as delving into my history. "To be frank, I'm not really interested in knowing a lot about you. The less we know about each other, the better. I just need a quiet tenant that won't bother me much and you seem like a sensible woman with your own distractions." "Oh." "I don't mean to sound insensitive." "It's okay. I get it." "You have a job, of course?" "Yes." "Well, that's all I need to know. Just make your rent payments on time and we'll get along." "Not a problem. Sounds good." The entire moving process took a little over a month to complete. I gave my notices where they were due, rented a small truck to pack my things into and drove it across town after handing the keys to the fuck-bag landlord who seemed more than thrilled to watch me departing. Bill had already given me keys to the house and when I arrived the first of the month he was nowhere to be found. Luckily, my possessions didn't extend further than my bed, wardrobe, futon and a couple of side tables that had collected more dust than I thought. After hauling up the ripping black trash bags I had stuffed full of clothes, I tried to decipher a way to get my bed up the winding stairs without scratching the wood or getting myself stuck in a corner. It would have been easier if I had another set of hands and I wanted to clear the halls of all my things before Bill came home and saw the clutter in the front hall. Something told me he was not a fan of mess and I had left a heaving trail all over the mudroom, halls and stairs. With my bed frame already stuck on the first few steps, I decided to sit down and reevaluate my strategy. It was definitely a two-person job that I would not be able to complete on my own. "Fuck, " I cursed as I pulled out my cell phone to make a call to the only person I knew that would be willing to give me a hand; my cousin. On the third ring, I heard the sound of the door opening and footsteps coming through. I was sat on the stairs pouting, my cell clutched to my ear and my breath hitched in my throat.  Bill looked up at me from the first-floor landing through the rails of the staircase and smirked at me. "Need some help?" He asked. I immediately terminated the call to my cousin before he could pick up. Shooting up from the fifth step up, I smoothed out the front of my shirt and tried to make it seem like I wasn't about to burst into tears of frustration. "Um, yes. Sorry. I thought I could do it by myself." "No worries," Bill said as he lifted the edge of the bed frame that was hanging off the first step. We dislodged the frame and slowly carried it upstairs but not without a few grunts of effort and sighs when we finally made it to the top floor. Bill's arms were bulging with the strain and when he helped me gently lay the frame down on the floor I couldn't help but stare at the muscles I never knew he had. We had only had a handful of encounters and each time he had been wearing baggy clothes that veiled the true form of his body. Bill helped me bring everything else I had upstairs and once the last of my belongings arrived he evaluated the mess that I would have to organize myself. Half my clothes were spilling out of bags and my furniture was yet to find a proper place. "Well, I'll leave you to it. Unless you have anything else?" "No. This is it. Thanks for your help." "No problem," he nodded with a small pointed smile that brought out a sweetness in his face before exiting the room. I heard the sounds of his footsteps drumming down the stairs but before I had the chance to get to work unpacking, Bill came back. When I looked up at him he had a peculiar look on his face that I couldn't read. It may have been a cross between uncertainty and embarrassment. "You um... These were on the stairs," he showed me what he had clutched in his hand and the moment I realized that the black material in his hand was a pair of my underwear, I paled. "Oh my god," I laughed uneasily. "I'm so sorry. They must have fallen out when I was dragging the bags up the steps. My panties looked crumpled and insignificant in his large hand as he dangled them between two fingers for me to grab. When I caught them I stuffed them in my pocket immediately and blushed even harder than I had when he had come home to see me flustered on the stairs. "It's all right. Could be worse things to find," he pointed out. "I guess so," I chuckled. Bill smirked at me, eyes darting to the pocket that contained the stray panties and gave me one last glance before leaving me to stew in my mortification. Once I was certain Bill was gone, I took the panties out to evaluate just how embarrassed I should have been. The last thing I needed was for my new roommate to have already discovered a pair of my dirty underwear on the floor. They were generic and made of stretchy faux lace that covered next to no ass cheek but I would have considered them to be a good go-to pair nonetheless. Based on visual inspection and a quick sniff, I was assured that everything checked out and Bill hadn't had the displeasure of picking up a pair of my period panties with the permanent stains in the crotch. If anyone had to have found a pair of my underwear I was glad it was a sexy pair and not ones that I had been hanging onto since high school. But because it was a man that had found them, I felt a strange yearning for approval. I thought about what he could have been thinking about for a long time as I set up my bed and unpacked my necessities. It was going to be weird having a roommate.

~*~

Bill was a strange man. Bill had an office in his room and a writing desk stacked with papers and manuscripts. Bill was a writer. When I asked him if I could read something he had written he said nothing. He only peered at me warily over his wire-framed glasses. We were in the kitchen at the same time and I figured it friendly to strike up a conversation. I had seen all of his papers and looked at all of the stuff he had in the house by then and deduced that he had to have been a writer. All I got from him was a gentle shrug of his stately shoulders and a mumble that I couldn't hear. "You're a writer, aren't you?" I continued. "Yes. I suppose, in a way I am." "Ever had anything published?" Bill rapidly shook his head and muttered, "not here, no. Back home... In university. But not here." The subject of him being a writer seemed touchy so I left my line of questioning at that while I boiled water to make tea. I couldn't help but watch him on the other side of the kitchen preparing his lunch because he was comically lanky yet carried himself with graciousness and poise. His side profile was vexing to me as well. It was then that I realized that Bill was not just commonly handsome, but sculpted in a way that I wasn't used to seeing. With a cute boyish nose and arrestive eyes that shone light green through the lenses of his glasses, I felt that old familiar pang of a crush plunging its way from my chest to my gut and all the way down to my groin. He didn't speak much and I hardly ever saw him because he was always in his room with the door shut. I had a feeling that me bringing up his writing had alarmed him into keeping the door closed at all times. It must have been an adjustment for him to go from living alone to having somebody sleeping in the room right next to him. I tried not to make much of the crush but the times that I did see Bill I always tried to stare for as long as possible. He was a mystery to me; a person living in the very same quarters but with a totally separate life that I had no windows into. Bill had pictures of him and a lot of other people that looked kind of like him so I tried to piece together what his family was like without asking him personally. The family photos were all in chunky brass frames and placed in a strategically sporadic way on the wall shelf. There were many books and three different runs of encyclopedic information stacked side by side with their brightly dyed leather spines displaying a prestigious title and the volume number, but it was the pictures that intrigued me most. By the looks of it, Bill had a lot of brothers and a sister. The longer I analyzed each shelf the more I managed to paint a picture of him for myself based on his belongings. There was a photo of Bill next to some other men of similar heights and facial structures, all dressed warmly and huddled together, each with his own version of a charming smile on. It was amusing to see pictures of him smiling since he had hardly tossed more than a crooked smirk my way. I wasn't sure if Bill was standoffish or if he thought me a slob because of the first day I arrived. The house was cleaner than any place I had ever had by myself and I gathered that he liked to keep it that way. I remembered what it had said in his ad about cleanliness. Maybe I had disgusted him. He had been so sold on having me as his roommate but that was weeks ago and he hadn't tried to engage me much since. It didn't weigh heavily on my mind for long. After all, even though I was the crusty definition of a bachelorette, I could put it together that trying to fuck my roommate that I didn't know was probably a surefire way to complicate things beyond repair. And the place was nice. I wanted to stay and I wanted Bill to like me.

~*~

I walked into his room when I knew for certain that he was gone. I don't know why the sudden urge overtook me and steered me to his bedroom door. I opened it and a waft of his scent came over me. It was like fresh cotton and chopped wood or an old book that had been kept in pristine condition. His writing desk beckoned me so I went without hesitation to cast my eyes over the papers on its surface. There were some printed pages full of words with hand-written notes scribbled in the margins. One of the most eye-catching pieces was a mostly blank white page that had been the last of the bunch to be placed upon the altar of his creative expositions.

I can't get enough of the scent that she left behind.

After reading that one line, I snapped out of my mindless intrusion and left his bedroom at once. Why I had gone in there in the first place was a mystery and I was overcome with guilt that pushed me in the direction of avoidance. I felt somehow he would know that I had gone into his room without permission.

~*~

A man from work had asked me out on a date and I stood in the shower vigorously washing the shampoo out of my hair. I was already late and had to scramble to put together an outfit out of what little clean clothing I had. There had been no time for me to do any laundry so I made do with an old sundress that I had worn the shit out of the Summer before, a pair of black nylon leggings with a hole in the crotch and the only pair of underwear that I could find that wasn't stretched out from me wearing them. I had laid out everything on my bed and bustled around trying to find my good face moisturizer and the only high-end lipstick that I had been coveting for the better part of two years. When I got dressed, I had somehow lost pieces of my attire along the way and rushed around looking for the underwear that I had dubbed acceptable to wear out on a date. My phone went off with a notification from my date saying that he was circling around the block again because he couldn't find a place to park. I quickly messaged him back and told him I would be down in five short minutes. Forgoing the panties, I hiked on my nylons and hoped that the skirt of my dress would manage to cover me enough all night that I didn't accidentally flash my pussy while getting in and out of his car. The date was boring and I didn't find myself connecting with him as we had at work. Maybe it was because we were co-workers or maybe it was because he was smiling too much at me the whole time, but I decided to put an end to the night after a dessert and the last of a bottle of cheap wine. When I got home, I shut the door and pulled my vibrator out of my empty underwear drawer.

~*~

In the morning on one of my days off, I stood in the kitchen making myself a pathetic breakfast of two pieces of toast with a slice of tomato and chunks of a too-ripe avocado splattered between them. First I was focused and calm and then suddenly I felt like something had materialized behind me. When I turned around, I let out a gasp as I noticed Bill standing next to me with no shirt on, his hair a mess and his eyes half-closed. "Sorry," he breathed through his nose. "Need a glass, please." I got out of his way and watched as he opened the cupboard that I had been standing in front of and took out a clean glass to pour water into. My eyes were drawn to the burgeoning of hair from his armpits when he reached to the top shelf. Without saying a word, he filled his glass from the tap and then walked back upstairs casually sipping his water. I don't know how he had managed to sneak up on me without me hearing the floorboards protesting beneath his feet but it had happened and my heart continued to race until I heard him enter his bedroom right above the kitchen.

~*~

I had tossed my laundry into the dryer and let it run while I left for work. When I got home my laundry was all folded and put back in my basket. My jeans and work pants were on the bottom, my shirts the second tier and then several pairs of my panties had been folded neatly in halves and placed on top. "Um... Okay," I whispered to myself, lifting the basket off the dryer that was still rumbling full of Bill's laundry.

~*~

A nap was on the immediate horizon for me when I got home from work. I kicked my shoes off as soon as I got in the door and made right for my bedroom. Bill must not have heard me climbing the stairs as I hadn't heard him come up behind me the week before because his door was open and what I saw halted me in my place and robbed me of the abilities to breath or think. There he was, laying on his bed naked with his right hand wrapped around his dick. But it wasn't that he was stroking himself that caught me completely off-guard, it was what he clutched to his nose and mouth with his other hand; the pair of my panties that he had discovered on the floor all those weeks ago when I first moved in. Rooted with panic and intrigue, I covered my mouth and watched on from the third-to-last step at the man taking deep breaths of my underwear while he pulled on his cock and massaged his balls. When I heard a faint groan leave his mouth I felt my floodgates crashing open. The tingle I felt budding from my clit grew so strong that my hands went numb and my face turned red-hot. There was no way that Bill hadn't heard me coming in the door and ascending the steps. But if he knew that I was there watching him play with himself, he didn't acknowledge it. He was in his own world of pleasure, getting high off the fumes that I had infused into the fabric of the underwear he was meddling with his fingers. I wanted to watch him shoot his cum from the tip of his cock but I was so scared that he would see me that I cowered back so that if his gaze did travel beyond the walls of his bedroom, perhaps he wouldn't catch me staring. Another long, deep moan left him and the sound of it somehow filled every sense I had. It was as though I could smell what he was smelling, feel how he was feeling and the taste left behind in my mouth was wetted with saliva being over-produced by my own sexual appetite. I pictured him kissing my clit, pushing my legs back and using his tongue to bore into me, letting it run down, down, down so he could taste every inch of me. A gasp nearly escaped me when I saw him push the crotch of my stolen panties into his mouth. His head dropped back into his pillows and his slow, languid strokes of his cock turned erratic. "Fuck!" He emitted after spitting the panties out and dragging them down his body to wrap around the base of his shaft. "Fuck, fuck, fuck... Mmm, my god." After a minute of every muscle in his body flexing, it looked like he was inches away from coming and I leaned forward with my hand out on the last step to balance myself so I could watch the end result. It took a bit longer than I expected but I watched on unblinkingly until he finally managed to pump out an orgasm that ripped through his body and exited him in a glorious spurt of cum. Then there was another spurt and another, all landing in a perfect sticky mess over his stomach and chest. The sun coming in through his window glittered over his spackled body while a dryness hardened my tongue. I gawked as he moved to mop up his own mess with my black lace panties. What he was going to do next was as much a mystery to me as the last ten minutes I had spent as a voyeur. His cock laid over the top of his thigh and shrunk with each passing second while he rolled my panties up into a ball with his fist. All of his muscles relaxed and he sank further into the bed, closed his eyes all the while my stolen cum-soaked panties remained clutched to his chest like a cross. I could almost smell the musk permeating from the open door. Slowly, I descended the stairs one by painstaking one.

[bestcoffeespan]

TOP 15 BEST COLD BREW COFFEE MAKERS 2021

A Hot cup of coffee isn't enough when temperatures soar within the height of summer. Cold coffee may be a refreshing alternative and incredibly easy to form if you've got the proper kitchen appliance . Cold coffee or Cold Brew is becoming fashionable, and therefore the truth is that it's a very interesting thanks to prepare a really rich coffee. Surely, you've got seen it in many coffee shops. and that they have charged you dough for your cup of coffee when actually , it's a really cheap method of brewing coffee reception . does one want to understand the simplest cold brew kitchen appliance in 2021?

 Contents hide

The best kitchen appliance to form cold coffee.

The best cold brew coffee makers

1.Takeya Cold kitchen appliance

2.The OXO Brew Compact Cold Brew kitchen appliance

3.HyperChiller by Maxi-Matic HC2 Patented instant Coffee

4.Primula Burke Deluxe Cold Brew ice coffee Maker

5.Primula Pace Cold Brew ice coffee Maker

6.KitchenAid Cold Brew kitchen appliance

7.Cold Brew kitchen appliance 34oz

8.Hario Mizudashi Cold Brew Coffee Pot

9.Cuisinart DCB-10 Automatic Cold Brew Coffeemaker

10.Cold Brew kitchen appliance By Coffee Bear

11.Toddy’s cold coffee system

12.Yama Glass Pour Over kitchen appliance

13.Royal Brew Nitro Cold Brew kitchen appliance

14.BTäT- Cold Brew kitchen appliance

15.Bodum Bean Cold Brew kitchen appliance

THE BEST kitchen appliance to form COLD COFFEE.

Isn’t cold brewing an equivalent as iced coffee? No! Although both are often loved equally, they're not an equivalent in ingredients or makeup in the least . We liked an honest cup of ice coffee the maximum amount as a chilly beer. But we also know that there are significant differences between these two coffee drinks. Let’s meet today the simplest cold brew kitchen appliance to form cold coffee.

WHAT ALLOWS COLD COFFEE TO BE MADE?

Cold brewing refers to the tactic of brewing coffee that involves steeping coarse beans in cold water or temperature water. Many deep “L” lovers prefer cold brewing for its robust flavor, and a few coffee fans even argue that the cold brew method is that the best thanks to bring out the innermost flavor of the beans. During the cold brewing process, the beans are never placed in predicament , and therefore the process usually takes about 12 to 24 hours. However, coffee makers allow you to try to to it in less time.

ISN’T THAT ICED COFFEE?

Unlike cold brew coffee, ice coffee is brewed hot and served over ice. This difference creates a particular flavor profile that a lot of find preferable to regular hot or ice coffee .

Also, while cold can be served over ice, it's not an equivalent as ice coffee , which involves pouring hot coffee over ice. And let’s be honest, hot coffee that has been chilled to be poured over ice turns rancid/bitter quicker and easier thanks to the natural process .

Not only do many deep L lovers prefer cold coffee over ice coffee due to the flavour profiles, but many also prefer cold coffee because it stays fresher longer. With a batch of cold coffee, you'll store it within the refrigerator and sip it for every week . As for other notable features of cold brew, another popular reasons why many enjoy it are the low acidity, high caffeine content, also as extraordinary health benefits.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COLD COFFEE AND ICED COFFEE?

Well, they need nothing to try to to , especially with the flavour that you simply are getting to get in your coffee. With ice coffee , you'll get a more watery coffee since you've got to pour ice into it. this is often good for removing the summer heat, but not for the flavour of your coffee.

ICED COFFEE IS ANY COLD COFFEE WITH ICE ADDED.

THE 17 BEST COFFEE MAKER UNDER 100 $ MACHINES IN 2021

Cold coffee describes how of creating coffee. The coffee is formed with cold water from the start , and therefore the process takes about 24 hours. It never gets hot.

Cold coffee is produced from coffee exposed to cold water or at temperature for a couple of hours. So you'll get a spectacular coffee flavor. this technique offers the additional advantage of creating coffee that's less acidic (good news for coffee lovers with delicate stomachs).

Preparing Cold Brew is extremely simple: basically, you'll need to leave the coffee brewing for a couple of hours during a specific kitchen appliance for it.

HOW TO CHOOSE the simplest COLD BREW kitchen appliance to form COLD COFFEE

There are several models of Cold Brew coffee makers. Some are easier to use than others (now we'll tell you a few few).

SIZE?

HOW MUCH ROOM does one HAVE IN YOUR KITCHEN OR YOUR FRIDGE?

Surely in coffee shops, you've got seen very elaborate coffee makers. Many coffee makers brew concentrated coffee, so don’t trust their size. The 1-liter models are the simplest for capacity.

Look for them to be easy to wash .

Many of those coffee makers use reusable filters. Keep that in mind.

They can be made from more or less costly materials like glass or ceramic.

These coffee makers use coarse ground coffee, so you've got to possess an honest grinder

THE BEST COLD BREW COFFEE MAKERS

PREPARATION METHOD COMPARISON: HOW SHOULD YOU MAKE YOUR COFFEE AT HOME?

There is a chilly kitchen appliance out there that's made for everybody . Unfortunately, checking out the right one are often somewhat overwhelming. That’s why we’ve looked everywhere, and here are our picks for a few of the simplest cold coffee makers on the market.

1.TAKEYA COLD kitchen appliance

Looking for something simple to start out manufacturing with?

The Takeya Cold Coffee Makerakeya is a simple to use and clean cold brewing machine which will produce one among the foremost robust and rich cold beers. So you'll buy. made up of BPA-free material, the Takeya has an airtight lid and a non-slip silicone handle that's strong and sturdy . So it'll last you an extended time if properly cared for.

I can make about 4-5 servings of cold, smooth coffee, and use a fine mesh filter to make sure no dregs slip into the finished beverage. It comes in two different sizes, 1 or 2 quarts, but is compact enough to suit in any size refrigerator.

Besides, the Takeya is super light, which makes it easy to maneuver and handle. because it is just made in construction. The Takeya Cold kitchen appliance is additionally more portable than another cold brewing coffee makers.

PROS:

• Less acid

• Smooth taste

• Serve hot or cold

• Airtight lid

• Side storage

• Non Slip Grip

• Durable pitcher body

• BPA Free

• Dishwasher safe

CONS:

Japanese design

.

2.THE OXO BREW COMPACT COLD BREW kitchen appliance

If The idea of creating coffee during a pot doesn't suit you, the OXO compact cold brew kitchen appliance are often useful. The OXO Good Grips is meant for greater flexibility and experimentation for the more adventurous home baristas.

This machine brews low acid coffee that concentrates to organize cold or hot coffee. it's a compact size cold brew kitchen appliance that takes up less space on countertops and even in refrigerators.

Therefore, it's a lid that keeps the kitchen appliance covered. So this lid protects this machine while brewing.

Although this design differs from many of the opposite models we've shown you, it's even as easy to use. Features a borosilicate glass carafe with clearly marked measurements, also as a fresh stopper, an ultra-fine reusable chrome steel mesh filter, and 10 paper filters.

HOW TO START AN ONLINE SPECIALTY COFFEE SHOP SUCCESSFULLY

All components lend themselves to easy disassembly, making cleaning easy. the foremost important thing to observe out for on this model is leaks thanks to a faulty or worn filter.

PROS:

• Automatic coffee

• Better brewing

• Neat nesting

• The ultra-fine

• A silicone seal to stay the concentrate fresh

CONS:

Non-removal chrome steel

3.HYPERCHILLER BY MAXI-MATIC HC2 PATENTED INSTANT COFFEE

HyperChiller HC2 kitchen appliance improved V2 product that's an easy device. So it prepares perfect ice coffee in one minute. you'll reuse ice tea , wine, spirits, alcohol, juice, etc. Its design uses regular water to relax . All parts of the hyper chiller are dishwasher safe thanks to no chemicals or gels. Your coffee will chill within 60 seconds if you brew it within the hyper chiller.

You can rapidly chill your fresh coffee with zero duration. If you follow the three steps, you'll save your money. First, you would like to brew. Then you'll chill your coffee. Finally, you'll pour it. you'll get return money within fortnight by making ice coffee with a hyper chiller reception . it's perfect for chilling all of your favorite beverages quite coffee.

You can use this machine for many full-size single-cup brewers. So it's easy to use with other traditional brew methods. As a result, it works with all kinds of coffee makers.

PROS:

• Reusable for ice tea

• Beverage cooler

• Ready in one minute

• Fit for all kinds of coffee makers

• Save money

CONS:

• More than coffee

• No chemicals

4.PRIMULA BURKE DELUXE COLD BREW ice coffee MAKER

Primula Burke Deluxe Cold Brew ice coffee Maker brews your delicious cold brew coffee reception . you'll enjoy smooth tea and infused beverages. it's a top quality that keeps your beverage fresh for days.

You can also use it easily. So anyone can brew, store, and serve coffee beat one. you'll make your coffee reception following the four easy steps.

THERE ARE FOUR EASY STEPS:

• 1) Add dregs to brew filter

• 2) Pour cold water over the coffee in it

• 3) Brew within the refrigerator overnight

• 4) Serve and luxuriate in your coffee

This machine features a safe borosilicate glass with a durable protective holder and a cushty grip handle. So it keeps your coffee and beverage fresh for days due to its design with lid seals.

It features a fine mesh filter that keeps ground out of your coffee and also has a non-slip silicone base that helps you to guard your coffee glass from any accidental slips.

PROS:

• Better Brewing

• Easy to use

• Innovative Design

• Perfect compact size

• Endless possibilities

• Effortless cleanup

• Save your money

• Comfort Grip Handle,

• Durable Glass Carafe,

• Removable Mesh Filter,

• Perfect 6 Cup Size,

• Dishwasher Safe,

• 1.6 Qt

• Blue color

CONS:

Coldwater just for 24 hours

5.PRIMULA PACE COLD BREW ice coffee MAKER

Primula Pace Cold Brew ice coffee Maker has accompany an innovative design that's made from extra-tough borosilicate glass the Pace fits in most fridge doors. This machine provides you a smooth drip-free pour. it'll keep your cold coffee for up to 2 weeks because it's lid seals.

A fine mesh filter adds a replacement dimension in its design that helps to stay grounds out of your coffee. This kitchen appliance features a non-slip silicone base that protects the glass from accidental slips.

You will get endless possibilities from this machine. So you'll use your favorite dregs or tea then base your brew time on the specified strength for your favorite coffee. It produces less acidic than other traditional coffee makers. So coffee makers enjoy it while taking their coffee.

It is the pace that has dishwashers safe making pack up a breeze. Besides, it includes a removable brew filter. This removable filter with a removable button can empty used ground without effort.

PROS:

• Easy to use

• Durable glass pitcher

• Airtight lid

• Dishwasher safe

• Perfect 6 cup size

• 1.6 QT

• Save your money

• Easy to wash

CONS:

1 pound of weight

6.KITCHENAID COLD BREW kitchen appliance

KitchenAid Cold Brew kitchen appliance brews smooth, rich full-bodied flavor coffee for you with a streamlined design that appears beautiful. it's a streamlined design with glass and chrome steel components in it. So it preserves the taste of your coffee. you'll use it for straightforward use and cleaning.

KitchenAid Cold Brew kitchen appliance is straightforward portability because it's a carrying handle with on tap. This tap with chrome steel dispenses your coffee from your refrigerator.

You can keep it in anywhere for any refrigerator or kitchen counter for its small footprint.

Reusable chrome steel steppers assist you to organize your beverage counting on your own choice.

It is easy to form up to 14 servings that you simply can mix 2 oz of coffee concentrating with every 6 oz of your favorite milk, water, or ice. you'll structure to twenty-eight oz of coffee with KitchenAid Cold Brew kitchen appliance . So it stays fresh within the fridge for up to 2 weeks.

PROS:

• Easy to use, pour, and clean.

• Smooth, Rich Full-Bodied Flavor

• Streamlined Design

• Always on Tap

• Reusable chrome steel Steeper

• Small Footprint

• 14 Servings

CONS:

28 ounce

7.COLD BREW kitchen appliance 34OZ

Cold Brew kitchen appliance 34oz has accompany a double layer chrome steel . This machine is lightweight. It makes 5 servings of ice coffee . This kitchen appliance produces ⅔ less acidic but traditional hot coffee. So it's a richer taste. you'll get a robust handle with this machine to carry to form coffee making. So you'll pack up safely and simply for a glass pitcher. you furthermore may get this machine with an airtight lid that keeps your coffee tasting fresh for up to 2 weeks.

It has various functions with custom-made hand-blown high borosilicate glass pot thickness. So it's getting to reach the very best level under this technique . Cold Brew kitchen appliance brews fully extract coarse grinds delicious. This machine has accompany a fine mesh chrome steel filter that creates your coffee a smooth cold brew coffee. you'll move it easily.

This machine is suitable for all types of refrigerator doors. Besides it locks the coffee fresh for up to 2 weeks. Its design may be a unique double structure airtight lid.

There are three structures.

stainless steel ring with rubber seals for fixing filters and smooth pouring of water.

stainless steel cover, also with a rubber seal, double closed lock fresh 8 inches full height

4- inches bottom diameter and suitable for storage in most refrigerators.

YOU CAN FOLLOW ONLY FOUR STEPS IN MAKING YOUR COFFEE WITH THIS MACHINE.

• Step1-Add coffee

• Step2-Add water

• Step3-Brew

• Step4-Create your favorite cup of joy.

PROSE:

• Hand-Blown Glass Pitcher,

• Stainless Steel Filter Removable,

• for ice coffee & Cold Brew Tea.

• Airtight Lid

• Dishwasher Safe

• Easy-To-use

• Clean-up

• Free shopping Experience

• A Lifetime Warranty

• Smother and sweeter taste

• Saves you tons of times

CONS:

Access handle safer

8.HARIO MIZUDASHI COLD BREW COFFEE POT

Hario Mizudashi Cold Brew Coffee Pot can make over 4 cups of coffee. You don’t need replacement filters for laundry and reusing. Besides, it's made from high-quality heatproof glass. Though this machine is dishwasher safe, you'll control your coffee pouring. So it's a slender spout for slow and steady.

Hario kitchen appliance brews your coffee. Though it's a really simple kitchen appliance , it can brew better than subsequent . you'll need to do about 80/2.8 oz of your favorite coffee grinds. Then you'll top it off with water. So you'll place it in your refrigerator overnight.

PROS:

• No replacement filters

• 100 ml

• Black color

• Dishwasher safe

• Heat Proof glass

CONS:

Nothing found

9.CUISINART DCB-10 AUTOMATIC COLD BREW COFFEEMAKER

Don’t have the patience to attend 12-24 hours for a chilly beer? Then this Cuisinart automatic might be the brewery for you. The DCB-10 can prepare 7 cups of coffee in only 25-45 minutes.

Although the flavour of the coffee you get from this machine isn't as developed as that of a more traditional method, the saving of quite 11 hours makes it well worthwhile . the quantity of your time this machine takes depends on the strength of the brew you decide on . The mild takes 25 minutes, the medium 35, and therefore the heavy 45.

This machine brews coffee by stirring the water and grounds until enough flavor has been extracted for your taste. So, an indicator light comes on, a lever is pulled, and voila! Coffee is served.

The main drawback of this machine is that there's an opportunity of accumulation within the removable tank. However, all removable parts are dishwasher safe, and therefore the machine features a 3-year limited warranty. Therefore, this could not be a serious problem.

10.COLD BREW kitchen appliance BY COFFEE BEAR

The Coffee Bear gets its bragging rights for its simple use and consistency. This model features measurement lines to assist even cold beer beginners. Plus, once you discover you’re crafting a sweet spot, they’ll assist you get exactly what you would like , whenever .

Additionally, you'll store up to the 1300ml (44oz) capacity borosilicate glass carafe that feels heavy. Besides you'll get extra features durable and 30% larger than typical 1000ml cold coffee brewers about fortnight during this kitchen appliance . it's also suitable for decent and cold drinks. So albeit you get uninterested in cold beer (unlikely though), you'll always mix things up. Once ordered, the merchandise package includes a free cold brew recipe Ebook. It also includes a removable BPA free no-slip base that adds extra grip. So it protects the glass from accidental bumps and shields your kitchen counter from coffee spills. Although it's not necessary to use paper filters with this product, if you would like to bring out the fresh, clean taste of cold beer, we recommend that you simply purchase some large commercial-size filters to match this coffeemaker.

For the foremost part, lovers of the deep L are usually quite satisfied with this coffee bear. However, there are some complaints that the handle is faulty and therefore the plastic cover is cracked. So make certain to thoroughly inspect yours when it arrives.

PROS:

• Protective No-Slip Base

• Easy to wash

• Reusable Mesh Filter

• Dishwasher Safe

• Iced Coffee

• Tea Brewer

• Less Acidic

• Richer

• Smoother

• Free Ebook

CONS:

The handle with plastic

11.TODDY’S COLD COFFEE SYSTEM

Most users who don't fit well with the Filtron choose this model from Toddy. Similar in functionality though not in design, this model includes a beer container with a handle, a glass mug with a lid, 2 reusable filters, 1 rubber stopper, an instruction set, and a recipe guide. it's also a machine that's easy to use and offers a number of the simplest

Cold coffee generally features a lower acid content; however, Toddy boasts a powerful 67% less acid in concentrated coffee using its ground coffee beans. you'll make about 1.5 liters at a time, and it'll last in your fridge for two weeks. Speaking of low maintenance!

When using this product, like most cold brewing methods, make certain to grind it coarsely to stop it from becoming gritty. Also, make certain to take care of and replace your Toddy filter regularly.

PROS:

• Staycation Edition

• 2 extra felt filters

• A bonus stopper

• BPA-free system

• 20-pack of paper filter bags

CONS:

Only white color

12.YAMA GLASS POUR OVER kitchen appliance

If you've got a much bigger budget or want to feature a touch of intrigue to your countertop, this Yama Kyoto style is for you. one among the foremost recognized cold coffee makers on the market, the Yama is a perfect choice for those looking to bring out the complex and subtle notes of single-origin beans or other specialty beans.

It can prepare 4 cup coffee that's perfect for private use and features a versatile design that's perfect for brewing coffee and tea.

With the high price comes a really sweet upgrade to your normal cold brewer. the planning allows you to urge your beverage of choice in about 3-4 hours, rather than the 16 or 24 hours required by most other models.

The Yama integrates quality craftsmanship right down to the materials used for the system. It features non-porous borosilicate glass, which suggests it'll last you longer and you won’t need to worry about mold (which may be a problem with plastic options). Additionally, the mid-century style tower is formed from real wood and complements almost any aesthetic. Even the permanent filter is formed of premium ceramic.

Aside from the prohibitive price, the sole downside is that the size. This kitchen appliance features a smaller capacity than a number of the cheaper options on the list, at a few liter.

PROS:

• Easy to use design

• 4 cup capacity

• Reusable filter

• Versatile design

CONS:

Only personal use

13.ROYAL BREW NITRO COLD BREW kitchen appliance

Unlike the YAMA, the Royal Brew Nitro Cold Brew kitchen appliance is ultra-easy to use and one among the foremost affordable options on the market. But don’t let the worth fool you; this kitchen appliance packs a punch.

This product includes a metal scoop, a collapsible funnel, and a removable soil filter, making it easy to use and clean. The plastic components are BPA free and therefore the glass is durable borosilicate glass.

The Royal’s jug features a respectable 2-liter capacity (roughly), and with proper care, it should be durable enough to last you a short time . Just confirm you don’t rinse it with predicament immediately after taking it out of the fridge.

Even if you've got a drag with this product, cafe royale brew nitro cold brew kitchen appliance customer service is understood for its responsiveness. So you ought to be ready to solve it during a jiffy.

PROS:

• Nitro brew

• Great taste

• Compatibility

• Lifetime warranty

• Keg Kit System

• Matte Flat Black 64 oz

CONS:

Nothing found

14.BTÄT- COLD BREW kitchen appliance

BTäT- Cold Brew kitchen appliance makes delicious cold brew coffee and tea reception . It can make 2.0 Quart of perfect cold brew coffee or ice tea . This machine with 100% airtight lid that keeps your coffee fresh for 2 weeks. It shows down oxidation and its design for an extended time lasting thanks to BPA Free silicone sealing design.

You can clean this machine easily and obtain a removable chrome steel filter that helps you rust free, easy to wash , and removable. it's made from Extra thick Borosilicate glass. Besides, it's a dishwasher safe kitchen appliance .

This BTäT- Cold Brew kitchen appliance with a flawless design for fitting in most refrigerators doors. you'll clean it effortlessly thanks to the wide opening

Why does one like BTäT- Cold Brew Coffee Maker?

BTäT- Cold Brew kitchen appliance has some special features like an airtight, easy excess handle that helps you to suit within your fridge door.

PROS:

• Iced kitchen appliance ,

• 2 Liter (2 Quart, 64 oz),

• Iced spoon ,

• Cold Brew Maker,

• Tea Pitcher,

• Coffee Accessories,

• Iced Tea Pitcher,

• Cold Brew System,

• Cold Brew Pitcher

CONS:

Not found

15.BODUM BEAN COLD BREW kitchen appliance

Bodum Bean Cold Brew kitchen appliance keeps your coffee hot or cold with an innovative locking system. This machine includes two lids. they're fridge overnight, and plunger. you'll make more flavor without waste. Don’t need paper filters.

This machine can make many presses. it's accompany more design, more size, more features sort of a double glass wall.

You can make the best-iced coffee with this machine. it's an easy and fabulous kitchen appliance . Two lids kitchen appliance machines can depress the dregs within the morning.

You will get the 1. 5 L bean iced coffee maker with plastic, silicone, and chrome steel .

PROS:

• No paper filters required

• Innovative locking lid system

• Including two lids

• Press

• Plastic

• 1.5 Liter

• 51 Ounce

• Black

Cons:

No cons

To read also-THE 17 BEST kitchen appliance UNDER 100 $ MACHINES IN 2021

WHY does one LIKE COLD BREWING?

Cold brewing produces 70% less acidic than hot brewing. It also features a richer taste. you'll prepare your perfect cup of joy with an endless sort of beverages.

WHY CHOOSE a chilly BEER?

There are many reasons why people choose cold brew coffee over other sorts of coffee. From taste, brewing preferences, to health benefits, these are a number of the foremost prominent reasons why cold brewing is so highly regarded by the coffee community

ACIDITY

One of the most important differences between your regular cup of coffee and cold beer is acidity. Normally, when coffee is formed with predicament , certain oils are released from the dregs once they are heated.

However, for cold brewing, the coffee never comes in touch with heat, therefore the extraction of those acidic oils is minimized. The presence of acidic oils is what creates a bitter taste in some brewed coffees, and it also results in higher acidity, which makes it a touch harder for those with sensitive stomachs.

As a result, you'll get a way lighter and smoother cup. Low acidity also means people that suffer from acid reflux or who have sensitive stomachs can enjoy this sort of coffee easily .

CAFFEINE

Due to the long soaking required for cold brewing, the concentrate produced features a much higher coffee-to-water ratio than regular brews. However, despite the increased concentration, cold beer generally doesn't taste overwhelmingly strong. this is often also the results of the shortage of warmth and therefore the subsequent release of oil. Therefore, you ought to find yourself with a palatable drink that contains a robust caffeine hit.

However, cold beer is usually diluted with the standard suspects (milk, cream, water, etc.). This leads to a less concentrated drink. Besides, there are a few of other factors that affect the strength of your coffee, including the coffee beans and therefore the steeping time.

HEALTH BENEFITS

The cold brew offers many benefits to those that regularly engage in physical activities. Since cold beer features a lot of caffeine besides, the rise in caffeine also means cold can help burn fat post-workout by increasing energy expenditure or after-burn effect.

In addition to boosting energy, cold coffee also features a high amount of antioxidants and chemicals that fight free radicals. If you would like to understand all the advantages of cold preparation, you'll consult our other article on the topic here.

THINGS to think about BEFORE BUYING

Before putting your money where your mouth is, there are a couple of important things to think about before officially choosing your ideal cold brew kitchen appliance . Here are a number of the foremost important features to consider:

GRINDER

With the cold drink, you’re getting to need a fresh supply of ground coffee. However, you'll got to confirm that your coffee is coarsely ground in order that the flavors within the can be extracted properly.

When we say fresh, we mean the extent of freshness of its grind. this is often because cold brew coffee tends to taste more subtle and weak than regular coffee. Therefore, having a fresh grind will help make sure that you get the foremost flavor possible from your beans of choice.

Also, the grind must be coarse to assist extraction. Because most of the brewing takes an extended soaking process, you'll recover results if the water can get into more grains. this is often easier with a coarser grind.

SIZE

As always, size matters quite you think that . Not only does one need to confirm that the footprint of your brewery can fit on your countertop, but you furthermore may need to check its height. If the right coffee pot is just too tall to suit on your refrigerator shelf, it won’t does one much good.

STYLE

The two main sorts of cold brewing systems are called dip and slow drip. Most of the models we’ve mentioned fall under the dip style, which incorporates two sub-categories: pot and bucket. These involve soaking the dregs in water for about 16 hours. Then it's simply filtered and drunk.

Pot coffee makers tend to be a touch slower and need the finished mix to be poured through a filter. This process leads to a more tea-like taste and feel. On the opposite hand, bucket-style mechanisms generally involve a toggle or switch that's interacted with to permit the infusion to empty through a filter and into a jug below. The result tends to be slightly richer and more robust.

Generally speaking, dip breweries tend to go away more sediment within the drink than drip breweries. However, employing a paper filter or filtering multiple times can remedy this problem. It also tends to assist bring out the richer, more chocolatey notes.

In contrast, a cold, slow coffee maker will tend to supply a lighter mouthfeel and taste. These models help bring out citrus and other sweeter flavors.

EASY TO USE

If this is often your first rodeo, you’d be more happy investing in one among the better to use models, just like the Gator, Filtron, or Toddy Brewer. search for easy assembly/disassembly, maintenance requirements, and clear volume markings for measurements.

However, if you've got good experience with manual brewing methods or maybe specifically cold brewing systems, other options could be within your reach.

MATERIALS / CONSTRUCTION

In the same way, you furthermore may got to confirm your cold brew kitchen appliance is straightforward to carry , clean, and more. the foremost important features which will influence the convenience of use of your cold brewer are the materials from which it's made and therefore the accessories incorporated into it.

For example, if your cold brew kitchen appliance features a glass carafe, it's going to have a sleek design, but it's a better risk of cracking and breaking. On the opposite hand, if your kitchen appliance has parts that are made from chrome steel , it'll help protect it from any accidental breakage.

Another important cosmetic feature you'll search for during a kitchen appliance is that the presence of excellent grips in order that it's not only easy to use but also to carry .

Do n\t forget the check -THE 15 BEST PERCOLATORS IN 2021 FOR THE KITCHEN

WHAT ABOUT THE FRENCH PRESS?

Many coffee fans argue that there's a brewing method that creates one among the simplest cold brews with the smallest amount amount of hassle. instead of buying a fanatical kitchen appliance , many coffee addicts simply prefer to brew cold during a French press.

You can get the complete breakdown of that process here, but we’ve included a number of the fundamentals below. If you don’t have a French press, we recommend that you simply provides it a try. aside from that, you'll need your favorite beans, a grinder (unless you want to use a pre-grinder), water, and a spoon.

Simply add cold water to your fresh, coarse beans with a ratio of 1 part coffee to 7 parts water. Slowly and thoroughly stir the mixture. Then, put the press in your refrigerator and let it sit for quite 12 hours

Finally, do a full 30-second dip, as usual, with the French press. If you've got trouble with grit from French press coffee, you'll pour the coffee through a paper filter to urge a touch closer to the classic mouthfeel of cold beer.

THE BOTTOM LINE ON COLD BREWING

So if you’re trying to find a brew method which will offer you a crisp, low-acid, and energizing cup of coffee, a chilly brew kitchen appliance could be for you.

So remember, when trying to find the simplest kitchen appliance to form cold coffee, any of the above models will make an excellent cup of coffee for you. However, make certain to think about what proportion space you've got available, what sort of kitchen appliance suits your tastes, and the way much experience in alternative coffee brewing you've got .

With a product from this list, your favorite coffee, a touch water, and a touch patience, you'll enjoy the sunshine delight of a chilly coffee.

BEST COLD BREW COFFEE MAKERS – ANALYSIS AND BUYING GUIDE – 2020

A hot cup of coffee isn't enough when temperatures soar within the height of summer. Cold coffee is an incredibly easy and refreshing alternative to form if you've got the proper kitchen appliance . The infusion is concentrated, so it contains more caffeine than normal coffee, and therefore the taste is more bitter, because of the long extraction process. Making your cold beer reception is straightforward and cheaper than stopping at the local cafe . And when properly sealed, one jug of concentrate lasts up to 2 weeks. Lastly, cold beer doesn’t lose its flavor as quickly as hot coffee.

But cold beer is quite a matter of adding ice cubes to your morning cup of coffee. you only won’t get an equivalent results. The coffee isn't concentrated enough and therefore the melted ice dilutes it even more. Cold brewing involves steeping the dregs for an extended period to get a robust coffee concentrate. The concentrate can then be diluted with ice or milk without losing the flavour .

If you’re trying to find a kitchen appliance to form cold coffee, this shopping guide will get you within the right direction. And your best choices will assist you make a good easier decision.

KEY CONSIDERATIONS

Most cold brew machines appear as if a jug with a filter inside for steeping in dregs or loose tea. Before setting a model for your kitchen, consider the following:

SIZE

Coffee makers for creating cold coffee vary in size, but a liter is that the commonest . you'll also find larger containers, which are great for serving a crowd or storing the drink to be used during the week. Remember, because the concentrate is so strong, you don’t need much for one serving. If you decide for a bigger model, consider the quantity of land required to store the container inside your refrigerator.

WEATHER

You’re probably excited to start out drinking those refreshing iced coffees, but confine mind that cold beer requires an extended soaking period. a minimum of 24 hours they're going to provide you with a strong and attractive concentrated coffee. It takes a touch of designing , but once you’ve prepared your concentrate, it are often used throughout the week if stored properly.

SUPPLIES

For a real cold DIY experience, you'll got to grind whole coffee beans, and for this, you'll need a coffee mill . A grinder may be a useful accessory for a coffee lover to stay available . Grinding the beans as required allows for a fresher cup of coffee.

FEATURES OF THE COLD BREW kitchen appliance

MATERIAL:

You will find glass or plastic coffee makers to organize cold coffee. Both are solid options, although plastic is more durable because it won’t break as easily if accidentally dropped. no matter the fabric you select , it should be thick. trying to find a plastic model but worried about chemicals seeping into your beer? choose one made up of BPA-free plastic.

FILTER:

There are two main filter options available: mesh and paper. the foremost common mesh filters are made from durable plastic or chrome steel . The mesh must be fine enough to stop sediment from seeping into the concentrate while allowing the dregs to take in completely. Paper filters are easier to wash , but you … will need to continually buy new filters.

MAINTENANCE:

Read the manufacturer’s guidelines carefully. albeit a specific model is dishwasher safe, you'll not be ready to put all the parts within the dishwasher. A dishwasher-safe kitchen appliance will make your life easier within the end of the day .

SPOUT:

Take an in depth check out the spout of the models you're considering. It should allow the liquid to pour out easily but it should be airtight when the lid is on. a decent seal keeps the concentrate fresh for extended . DESIGN:

There are many various sorts of cold brew makers, from modern chrome steel containers designed to suit within the fridge to elegant pitchers perfect for serving guests.

AUTOMATIC:

If you're not curious about making cold concentrated coffee manually, you'll buy an automatic machine. Many also double as regular coffee makers. However, automatic models are extremely expensive.

COLD BREW kitchen appliance PRICES

CHEAP

Inexpensive models that cost $ 20 or less include plain jugs, often plastic, capable of holding a minimum of one liter of concentrated beer. Expect to seek out basic no-frills designs during this price range. you'll also find low-cost, portable, single-use models.

MEDIUM RANGE

At a price of between $ 20 and $ 50, you'll find larger capacity coffee makers to organize cold coffee, made with higher quality materials and with more elegant designs.

EXPENSIVE

Premium options that cost $ 50 or more include chrome steel models, select brand names, large capacity jugs, self-operating devices, and one-of-a-kind specialty models.

TIPS

Here are some tips to assist you create the simplest possible cup of cold coffee:

Grind the beans.

Choose good quality coffee beans that are medium or dark roast. Grind the beans before soaking for a far better tasting cold drink.

ADD THE FILTER MOTIFS.

Measure the right ratio of coffee and water. Your cold brew kitchen appliance should accompany instructions for achieving the right coffee to water ratio.

ADD WATER.

Different water temperatures make coffee taste different. Experiment to seek out what fits your taste buds. Maximum coffee companies recommend the ratio coffee and water 8.1:7.1.

Soak the bottom for a minimum of 24 hours.

Remove the filter and empty the ground .

ENJOYMENT

The resulting concentrate are going to be very strong. If you don’t want to feature dairy, you'll dilute the concoction with cold water or ice cubes.

OTHER PRODUCTS WE CONSIDER

There are countless cold brew coffee makers available on the market, and it had been difficult to narrow down our top choices. we might wish to mention some notable runners-up. The Asobu Coldbrew Portable Insulated kitchen appliance may be a single-use portable model that's insulated and leak proof. It’s the right option to enjoy a chilly beer on the go.

The Kolob Cold Brew kitchen appliance is an ultra-simple Mason jar model with an airtight lid. We love its minimalist design for budget coffee drinkers.

For large amounts of concentrate, try the KitchenAid Cold Brew Maker. Its durable and attractive chrome steel construction looks great and features a convenient spot so you'll help yourself without having to get rid of the unit from the refrigerator.

Lastly, for the user trying to find a premium cold brew option, the Ninja SharkNinja kitchen appliance may be a multi-tasking machine that brews hot and cold coffee. It’s the last word choice for the coffee connoisseur or someone who loves cold brew concentrate but doesn’t want to spend time brewing it.

BE PATIENT to form YOUR TASTY COFFEE

You must twiddling my thumbs if you would like to form an honest taste of ice coffee . you recognize that cold brew coffee doesn’t depend upon predicament but time. you'll not prepare your delicious coffee without time.

FAQ

Q. am i able to USE MY COLD BREW kitchen appliance FOR SOMETHING aside from COFFEE?

A. in fact it's . The filter in your kitchen appliance is perhaps compatible with loose leaf tea. However, you'll need to adjust the steeping time to stop the tea concentrate from tasting bitter. Wash your filter thoroughly between uses to avoid any transfer of flavors.

Q. HOW FINELY DO I even have TO GRIND MY COFFEE BEANS TO USE THEM during a COLD BREWER?

A. Cold beer requires a rough grind. Allows flavor extraction without allowing sediment to seep into the water through the filter. If you notice residue on rock bottom of your cold stein or mug, you'll be grinding the beans too fine, otherwise you could have poor quality or faulty filters on your hands.

Q. WILL IT MAKE A DIFFERENCE IF I BUY GROUND COFFEE rather than BEANS?

A. Ground coffee should be used immediately after opening the package because it loses freshness quickly. the flavour of cold beer will taste better if it's made with freshly ground beans.

Q. IS THERE MORE CAFFEINE IN COLD COFFEE?

A. Yes. The resulting drink is concentrated, so it's more caffeine.

Q.HOW are you able to BREW HOT COFFEE WITH AN ice coffee MAKER?

A.Yes, it's possible. are you able to completely prepare your hot coffee with an ice coffee maker?

[systlin]

"I figured out how to triple-distill and vacuum-extract coffee to raise the caffeine concentration 20-30x" teach me your ways pls

Okay kids pull up a chair and learn how Auntie Systlin took her chemistry minor and habit of collecting neat virgin glassware and figured out how to brew potentially lethal hyper-espresso in her kitchen. 

This is going to be long as hell so I’ll put the goods after the cut.

Note that this evolved from doing my best to figure out how to approximate Funranium Lab’s Black Blood of the Earth brew. I’d read the glowing reviews online, but being naturally cheap, couldn’t quite bring myself to drop the $$$.

And then my eyes wandered to my shelf of virgin labware equipment and I went “Hey…I bet I can just make my own.”

Based on Herr Direktor’s notes on the Funranium labs website, I tinkered and fooled about and eventually came up with my own brew that, if not Black Blood of the Earth, will punch you in the face and leave you smelling colors.

Let’s do this.

To do this properly, you’re going to need the following.

This set, which includes a buchner (filtration) flask, a seoh buchner funnel, a rubber adapter, a vacuum pump, and tubing to connect it to the flask. You can throw the filter paper out you don’t need it. This set’ll run you $50, which is about as cheap as you can find these elements together or separately

Warning you right now though, the plastic vacuum pump is junk. It’ll last a month or so at least, but when it breaks get a nice metal one instead. Like this. (Another $25, but mine has been working now for 2 years).

You will also need at least one 1L Erlenmeyer flask and a stopper. That’s another $13.

Now you’re gonna need coffee. Regular folgers works fine, but obviously the better the coffee the better this is going to taste. CoffeeAM is this coffee snob’s go-to place. They have 5lb bags for very reasonable prices and roast your order special just before sending it out. Use the coupon code facebook5off to get a $5 discount on any order over $25. 5lbs of good coffee will run you about $30-$50 on that site.

You’ll also need some coffee filters.

OKAY NOW LET’S BREW.

I use a 2.67 ratio of water to coffee. This seems to be a good balance between flavor and punch you in the face. In a 1L flask, this works out to 1.5 cups of coffee grounds to 4 cups of water. This will fill a 1L flask. Grind the coffee fine (if you have whole bean) and dump it into the flask. A funnel (just a regular one) will be helpful here.

Now add your 4 cups of water. Do not heat. Stir. The coffee will release CO2 and foam; stir again in about 5 minutes to keep the flask from overflowing. Then cap. Let sit for 24 hours in the fridge.

Then, put together the filtering flask and line the seoh buchner funnel with a coffee filter. Stir up the coffee-sludge again and dump into the funnel (you might have to do this in a couple batches)

Then draw a vacuum. I like to get at least to 20 inches Hg. This will force every last drop of caffeinated goodness from the coffee grounds. The grounds should be nearly dry when you’ve finished.

BUT WAIT YOU’RE NOT DONE.

Now, you can either distill the resulting liquid down to 1/3 the original volume, which takes a $200 distillation kit, OR you can do the following (which gives a better flavor anyway).

Take your cold-brewed coffee. Measure it. Add just enough cold water to get it back to 4 cups. (It shouldn’t be much).

Now rinse the flask out and dump a fresh 1.5 cups of coffee grounds into it. Dump in liquid. Wait 24 hours. Extract the double-brewed coffee as before.

Then do it again.

Once you’ve triple-brewed the coffee, bottle and done. It’ll keep for up to a month in the fridge. Since it was cold brewed, it will be far less bitter than regular coffee, as heat extracts the acids that make coffee bitter and go stale. However, since caffeine is simply soluble in water whatever the temperature, it will dissolve.

I’ve done the math. A cup of regular drip coffee has about 95 mg. of caffeine per cup. That works out to about 11 mg. per ounce.

Event Horizon (so called because it is so black that not even light can escape) has about 220 mg. per ounce.

An ounce is about as much as a shot glass holds, btw.

A guinea pig co worker once downed an eight-ounce cup of Event Horizon after I gave him a bottle (which I’d expressly forbidden him to do, but he was a veterinary student and coming up on finals.)

He didn’t sleep for 2 days and said he thought his heart was going to hammer through his rib cage.

Do not do this. The most I’ve ever consumed at once was 4 ounces, and I swear to God that I could feel individual air molecules.

Valhalla awaits. Witness me.

[megabadbunny]

speechless

TenRose; all ages/mild teen. fills @timepetalsprompts​ general “Tenth Doctor month” prompt

***

He knows the instant the TARDIS touches the tarmac that something is wrong. (There’s no grinding of the Time Rotor, no sickly shuddering or sharp-flashing warning lights; it’s just wrong, in his chest, something squeezing and clenching where it shouldn’t. Guilt, he’d label it if he didn’t know any better, but the feeling is hardly helpful when he hasn’t a clue what he’s done wrong.)

The sonic makes quick work of the door—normally he wouldn’t, not here, anyway, but rapping his knuckles and pounding his palm on it didn’t work, save to elicit nosy or dirty looks from curious passersby. He flashes the psychic paper and mutters something under his breath about maintenance and steps inside the flat before anyone has time to question him. The flat, of course, is empty. Well, that at least explains why no one answered the door. It isn’t because of...other reasons. Admonitions about nosiness and boundaries and sometimes people need privacy, Doctor all crowd to the forefront of his mind, only to be pushed to the back as he scopes out the flat for clues. But the flat seems insistent on shaking him at every turn, betraying nothing of its inhabitants’ whereabouts. The message-taking pad by the phone betrays nothing; it’s new, fresh, no ghosts of messages past pressed into its pages. There are no new notes tacked to the fridge or washing-machine, though the latter has a funny little rattle when the Doctor walks by it (and two-minutes’ worth of the Doctor’s tinkering puts an end to that). The calendar remains stubbornly unhelpful as well, showing nothing but distant family birthdays and friends’ anniversaries and a series of red x’s tapering off after— The Doctor’s lips purse together, a dam stoppering the flow of curses trying to leak out. He heaves a frustrated sigh. It’s no twelve months instead of twelve hours, but it might as well be. He really is a rubbish pilot. But eventually that excuse will run thin, if it isn’t already riddled with holes. One day, she’ll stop forgiving him, and he isn’t so sure he can blame her.

(He almost forgets to re-lock the door when he stalks out, but he only almost forgets.)

A quick scan of the rest of the Estate returns no notable results, and no familiar faces greet him from the inside of the local chippies, or pubs, or store-fronts. Searching the library is a fruitless endeavor, as is an examination of the bus-station. The Doctor wanders up and down the streets for what feels like years but is, in truth, only a few hours, peeking inside games shops and bookshops and sweet-shops and Tesco’s and tailor’s-places and any place that hasn’t got the windows shuttered because where is she, where the bloody hell is she? And then a thought strikes him, something unpleasant indeed—he checked the bus-station, but that would be pointless if she was already gone. And if she’s gone... He swallows. He can find her easily enough; he’s only doing this the hard way out of some kind of silly penance. Finding her isn’t the problem. The problem is if she doesn’t want to be found. (After the other universe, after the black hole, after everything at Canary Wharf—maybe she doesn’t want to do this anymore. Maybe that’s perfectly reasonable. But, rather selfishly perhaps, where does that leave him? What is he supposed to do then?) It’s in a hair salon that he finds Jackie, getting her nails manicured and laughing gaily with a circle of likeminded and like-aged friends, all thoughts of ghosts and Daleks and Cybermen completely erased like they never were. But the second Jackie’s gaze land on him, her smile disappears, her eyes gone cold. Her friends continue chattering around her but she doesn’t join in the fun, doesn’t tear her eyes away from the Doctor’s. She raises a sharp-plucked eyebrow and points a lacquered fingernail westward. Go fix it, you twat.

She doesn’t need to say it for him to hear it, and he doesn’t need a physical slap to feel the shame burning his cheeks. With a curt nod in thanks, the Doctor turns on his heels and heads westward. Once he’s out of Jackie’s sight, he runs.

***

He feels more than a little stupid when he finally finds her. But of course she’s here—with a busted-up machine, where else was she going to get her washing done? The Doctor just stands and watches her for a moment, taking her in amidst the unnaturally bright laundromat lights. She looks terribly bored from her lonely perch atop the yellowed old washing-machine, her eyes half-shuttered, her hands clasped in her lap. Previous experience tells the Doctor that she should be reading a trashy magazine right about now, or maybe a book pilfered from the TARDIS archives, or painting her nails or noshing on a treat if she’s not gone from the laundry room altogether, watching a film with him in the library or keeping him company while he tinkers under the console or lying atop the grass with him in the garden, making up new names for all of the constellations she doesn’t recognize, even some of the ones she does— Another customer pushes past the Doctor and he startles at the harsh clang of the doorbell. So sure he’s about to be discovered, he throws a glance at Rose that’s somewhere between nervous and hopeful, but she doesn’t look up. She doesn’t even twitch. She just...sits. Oh, no. She’s not bored. She’s numb. She’s good and properly numb. And it’s good and properly his fault. The guilty-feeling from earlier bubbles unpleasantly in his gut. He should go in there. He’s got to go in there and explain things, namely himself, as much as he can bear to. He can’t let her think he’s angry with her, even if he sort-of is, in a way that’s got nothing to do with her. He can’t let her think he just left her here, at least not for longer than he intended, which wasn’t really very long at all, not even by her standards. He can’t let her think she did anything wrong, nothing besides loving him, anyway. (She shouldn’t; she really, really shouldn’t. But that doesn’t appear to be stopping him, either.) It isn’t until after the newcomer dumps their washing into a machine and goes through the motions, the detergent and the coins and the buttons and the swearing and the top-of-the-machine-pounding and the pressing of buttons again and then the eye-rolling and the muttering and the leaving, that the Doctor manages to pull together the last remaining threads of his courage and pushes open the door to the laundromat. Slowly, Rose’s gaze sharpens, traveling from their stare into nothingness over to where the Doctor stands, taking him in from the floor up, battered Chucks and pinstriped suit and fists balled in pockets and coat settling around him as the door bangs loudly into place. Neither of them twitch, too fixed on each other as the washing-machines whirr and clang and generally make a ruckus. Opening his mouth to speak, the Doctor steps forward, but Rose turns away. He falters. That’s sort of a universal sign, isn’t it? The unmistakable broadcast of I don’t want to talk to you. Fists clench tighter in his pockets before loosening, relaxing. Fine. They don’t have to talk. It may be his typical modus operandi but he has other ways of doing things, too. A regular problem-solver, him. The Doctor crosses the laundromat in several long strides and before Rose has a chance to react, he envelops her in a tight, breath-squeezing hug, his hands wrapping around to either side of her ribcage. Surprised, she tenses beneath the embrace, but relaxes into it soon enough, her own arms coming up to limply encircle him. He tightens his hold on her and nudges her elbow with his—snugger, as if to say. A real hug. More. Rose complies and the Doctor imagines he can hear her slight little smile. Tension eases from his shoulders and he turns his face toward her, into her neck, at this height. He feels rather than hears her swallow, senses the uptick in her breathing, her heartrate. For all their hugging and hand-holding and waist-grabbing, it’s still a surprisingly intimate gesture, and a vulnerable one, whether she recognizes it as such. But fortunately, blessedly, she must, because soon she’s leaning into him, burrowing into his shoulder while one hand buries itself in his hair. He needed time, he thinks he should tell her. To clear his head, to sort his thoughts. To give her a bit of a break, room for her to visit her mum. To reconsider if this is what she really wants. He needed time to come to terms with the fact that— His eyes clench shut against the memory, against the hurt that blossoms with it. I almost lost you. He steps back with every intention of delivering the apologetic plea hovering on his lips, only for Rose to lean forward and press her mouth to his, swallowing any words that may emerge. (Thankfully, his hands only flail about uselessly for approximately 1.03 seconds before flying up to her face, holding her close when, flushing and suddenly uncertain, she tries to pull away. But surely his hands holding her close will let her know she has nothing to be ashamed or uncertain about; surely his trembling arms and desperate mouth give him away.) Both of them jump at the washing-machine buzzing impatiently beneath Rose, letting her know in no uncertain terms that it has completed its cycle, thank you very much. But Rose just laughs shakily and pulls the Doctor in for more, and it’s sort of funny, isn’t it, all of time and space at their disposal and their first proper snog takes place in a dingy old laundromat on unremarkable old planet Earth. It would have been much more romantic to take her somewhere exotic and new, somewhere with a triple-sunset or a glass ocean or rainbow-luminescent flowers unfurling their petals toward the inky midnight sky. But she’s kissing him, she’s kissing him, and it feels like a promise, one he’ll gladly take no matter how little he deserves it or where she gives it to him, romance be damned. (Later, he’ll tell her anything she wants; right now, this says everything they both need to know.)

***

[dugoutimagines-blog]

Make Me - Andrew Benintendi

You miss one of Andrew’s games and he doesn’t take it too well. Smut. Not Requested. Word Count: 3,475

         As soon as you were through the threshold of the apartment you shared with your boyfriend of two years, you kicked your heels off and dropped your purse on the ground. You collapsed onto your stomach on the couch and sighed. You couldn’t find the energy in you to turn the television on or even pull your knee length dress down that had ridden up your thighs a bit from your flop onto the sofa. To say that it had been a long week at work would be an understatement. For the past month you had been in charge of a project that you were working on with several other coworkers. This week was spent putting the finishing touches on everything. Everything you had done this past month was leading up to today, a day you would usually have off. You pitched the project to your boss today and thankfully, she loved it, but that didn’t ease your exhaustion.

         “Isn’t that a sight to see,” Andrew commented on your exposed thighs and the way your dress had ridden up right under your ass. “I’m leaving for the park soon. Are you going to get ready?” He asked, giving your ass a light spank before getting his bag out of the hall closet.

         You sat up and adjusted your dress, “I don’t think I’m going to go tonight, babe.” He had his back to you as he pulled his bag out of the closet. You watched his shoulders slump as you broke the news to him. This would be the first time ever that you weren’t at one of his home games. Ever since you started dating during your sophomore year in college, you had been at his home games. Even when he was drafted, you opted to leave University of Arkansas with him and finish your schooling online so you could be there for him. This was something your parents weren’t exactly thrilled about, but you were committed to Andrew and supporting his career, wherever it took you two. Greenville, Lowell, Portland, Salem, and Boston. You had been to every home game so you knew that this news would come as a shock to him.

         “What do you mean you’re not coming?” He asked, turning to you and giving you a look like you were out of your damn mind. “You have to be there. The Yankees are in town,” He tried convincing you.

         “I know and I’ll promise I’ll be at every game this homestand and every homestand to come, just not tonight. I don’t have the energy,” You said, standing and beginning to walk towards him. You halted your movements when he made his next comment.

         “It takes that much energy to come and support me?” He questioned. “You can’t just sit in the park for nine innings and be there for me? That’s too hard?” You understood that he was upset that you’d be missing one of his games for the first time in two years, but you were still offended.

         “You know how hard I’ve been working on this project at work. This is the first time I’ve been able to catch a break in a month, Andrew. I’m exhausted and all I want to do tonight is relax on the sofa,” You told him, trying to get a little sympathy out of him. “Besides, it won’t be like I’m missing the game entirely. I’ll still be watching you play on television,” You reasoned.

         “What, like I don’t get worn out from my job? Like I don’t feel like I need a break sometimes? I still show up to my commitments even though I’m tired,” He snapped back, not giving into your want for compassion and pity. “I don’t understand why you’re not coming.”

         Now you were tired and frustrated. “This is the first time I’m ever missing one of your home games. You’ve missed plenty of things that I’ve wanted you to come to. You’ve never come out to meet my friends from work and you didn’t attend the last two banquets that my work has held. I think I’m entitled to this one time, Andrew,” You said, becoming fed up with his inability to realize that you needed a night in to unwind.

         “I didn’t come because my job takes a physical toll on me and I have to rest. If I had some office job, then I would be there. But I don’t, I get tired because my job requires me to actually do things,” He told you, ticked off that you weren’t attending the game tonight and ticked off that you brought up times that he hadn’t been there to support you. It was a low blow for you to bring up the events he missed for you because you told him it was okay if he missed them if he needed to even though you desperately wanted him there. You liked having him by your side and being by his side so it hurt you when he wasn’t able to come through. What he said next, however, hurt you even more. “You don’t even do anything at your job,” He seethed.

         Your heart sank into your stomach as his words hit you like a garbage truck. “Excuse me?” You started. His words stung you even though you understood what he meant. You didn’t have to do any of the strenuous, physical tasks that baseball required of Andrew, but your job was just as stressful and harrowing on your mental health. He opened his mouth to apologize and retract what he said, but you held a hand up to him to stop him from speaking. You had heard enough from him for the time being. “Save it,” You said. “You should get going. You don’t want to be late to your job where you actually do things, do you?” Sure, you were being cold and a little bit unfair, but you didn’t care. At a time where all you wanted was for Andrew to understand how you were feeling and that you supported him regardless of where you were watching him from, he didn’t. You turned and walked up the stairs to the bathroom to start the shower, knowing that he wouldn’t follow you since he really did have to leave for the park.

---

         Even though you were a little less than charmed by Andrew’s behavior, you turned NESN on to watch the game. You were nursing a glass of wine as you curled up on the corner of the sofa with a throw blanket and one of Andrew’s Arkansas baseball sweatshirts on. You sighed as you watched Andrew swing at strike three for his first at bat of the game. Another sigh escaped your lips as he popped out to Torreyes for his second at bat. As Andrew walked off the field after grounding out to Gregorious, you noticed how frustrated he was getting with himself. You knew it was wrong of you and you wanted Andrew to do well, but you liked to think that his mind was too consumed with regret about what he said to you so he wasn’t entirely focused on the game.

         By the time the bottom of the seventh rolled around, it seemed as though the game was lost for the Red Sox. They were down by three as you chewed your bottom lip: a nervous habit you has picked up from Andrew. But then the bases were loaded and Mookie hit a sac fly to shorten the deficit to two runs. The first pitch to Andrew came in high at 97 mph and was called a strike. The count should have been 1-0 and Andrew knew it, you knew it, and you were positive every fan watching the game tonight knew it. You watched as Andrew argued with the umpire a bit before settling back in the box. He was enraged and you couldn’t help but wonder if the anger from your fight before the game was leaking onto the field and influencing his attitude as a ball player. Luckily, Andrew didn’t let his emotions get the best of him and distract him. Instead he singled to right field to knock in Jackie. You were sitting on the edge of the sofa as the replay of his hit was shown. Your mouth fell open slightly as you read Andrew’s lips as he walked to stand on first. His “fuck you” to the ump was just about as clear as that first pitch being a ball. You poured yourself another glass of wine as you tried to settle the desires that inundated your body as you saw how fired up Andrew was getting. You crossed your legs and squeezed your thighs together as Núñez and Andrew crossed home plate to take the lead. You knew Andrew would still be riding this adrenaline high when he got home and you were eager for his arrival. He’d either be angry about his performance tonight or feeling good after a Sox win. Either way, you knew what he wanted when he got home.

---

         You were in the kitchen pouring your third glass of wine when Andrew came home. You heard the front door close behind him and his bag hit the wall after he threw it into the corner of the entry way. “I guess it’s going to be a pissed off kind of night,” You murmured under your breath. You had your back to him while he opened the fridge to retrieve a water bottle. As soon as the fridge was closed, you could feel his eyes on you. You put a stopper in the bottle of wine and turned to meet his gaze. “Can I help you?” You asked, giving him a little bit of attitude to amp him up even more.

         His eyes flickered from the University of Arkansas logo on your chest back up to your eyes. “That’s mine,” He said aggressively, setting his bottle down on the counter.

         “So?” You answered, setting your glass down on the counter. You knew you were winding him up and it was only a matter of time before Andrew would lose control. On the inside, you were having fun teasing Andrew like this, but you knew appearing unconcerned with him would only increase his desire to get rough with you which was exactly what you wanted.

         “So,” He said, slowly approaching you. “Take it off,” His tone was demanding and it made you weak in the knees, but you couldn’t give into him that easily.

         You rolled your eyes at him, knowing it would provoke him even more. “You’re being ridiculous,” You tried moving around him but his arms created barriers on both sides of you.

         “I said take it off,” His hands rested on the counter behind you, effectively freezing you between him and the counter.

         This was your moment to let him win. You needed him too badly to keep this game going. You went on tiptoes and placed your hand on one side of his neck, leaning up so your lips were next to his ear on the opposite side. “Make me,” You uttered, your breath tickling his ear and sending him over the edge. One arm wrapped around your waist and lifted you up onto the counter while the other hand rested on your thigh. His lips connected with yours and your hands clutched the hair on the back of his head to pull him close. Andrew moved his hands to the hem of the sweatshirt and practically tore it off of you, abandoning it on the kitchen floor. You were left with your chest completely exposed and only a pair of running shorts keeping your bottom half modest. A soft moan escaped your lips as Andrew gripped your hips and kissed down your neck. Your legs wrapped around his waist to pull him closer to you.

         Andrew took this position as an opportunity to lift you off of the counter and carry you to the bedroom. He set you on the edge of the bed and you leaned up to kiss him, but his words prevented you from doing so, “I’m sorry about earli-.”

         You shook your head and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him in close to you. If you let him apologize, he’d lose the heat and frustration that had you half naked on the kitchen counter so you cut him off, “Shut up and kiss me.” The events that took place earlier were no longer important to you. You knew Andrew regretted what he said as soon as the words left his mouth. The words held no weight so you figured it’d be better to move past it. Besides, you were focused on more than apologies right now. You pulled him over you as you laid back on the bed and eagerly met his lips with yours. His hand took a gripped your hair as he kissed you, controlling the movements of your head like a puppeteer. You hissed sharply as he tugged your hair a little too hard, but the pain was equally pleasurable.

         Before he could start kissing down your body, you lifted the bottom of his shirt to take it off. In one fluid movement, he removed his shirt and his lips were on your chest. He took one of your nipples in his mouth while his hand paid attention to the other. Your back arched, pressing your chest into his face while your hands grasped at the sheets. He pulled off of you for a moment so he could latch onto the other nipple and swirl his tongue around it. You hummed as his mouth worked from your chest down your stomach. You were sure his next move was to remove your shorts, but to him, teasing you was a little more important. He kissed your inner thighs, moving closer and closer to your center. Despite his mouth working wonders on your thighs, you whined because you needed his mouth elsewhere. He took the hint and slid your shorts and panties down your legs.

         You spread your legs as he got comfortable between them. His arms hooked under your legs and his hands rested on your stomach to prevent your hips from bucking. His tongue was pressed flat against you as it traveled slowly up from your entrance to your clit. You hummed as you closed your eyes and appreciated how warm and inviting his mouth was. His beard created the most unbearably satisfying friction against your sensitive skin. He drew patterns on you with his tongue while you tried to prevent your thighs from clamping around his face. “Andrew,” You moaned while he encircled your clit before wrapping his lips around it. The soft suction had you biting your lip to keep yourself from falling apart beneath him. As you neared your finish, you reached down to hold one of his hands that was resting on your stomach. Your back arched and you squeezed his hand as you came.

         He kissed his way back up your body and slipped his tongue into your mouth when he reached your lips. The taste of you still lingered on his tongue as he kissed you. You reached down between the two of you and unbuttoned his jeans, pushing them down his legs. He pulled you on top of him so you were straddling his waist, his underwear the only thing keeping his cock from slipping into you. You kissed along his jawline and nipped at the sensitive part of his throat, causing him to sigh blissfully. You smiled to yourself and continued your descent of his body. You kissed across his chest, teasing him with your tongue and grazing your teeth over his nipples. He cursed under his breath and you looked up at him as you took his nipple between your teeth, tugging gently. This was something you found out was his weakness a couple months into dating him. In fact, being bitten or nipped at anywhere was Andrew’s weakness. The first time you used your teeth you thought that he was going to lose his mind and now it was something you did ever since.

         You moved lower, licking along his waistline before taking the band of his underwear between your teeth and pulling it down. You licked your lips before taking him in your hand and pumping it a few times. You hovered over the head to let your saliva drip onto his cock and mix with his precum. You licked the underside of his cock and watched as his head fall back into the pillow. His hand came to hold your hair back out of your face when you took his cock in your mouth. You bobbed slowly at first, building your way up to taking his whole length. Your lips touched the base of his cock as you took him deep into your throat. His hand held the back of your head and held you there for a moment, causing you to gag lightly. You moaned as he let you pull off of him, going back to working him in your hand. You massaged his balls in your hand as you wrapped your lips around his cock again. You bobbed your head until his hands held your head in place to release in your throat. Andrew stroked your hair as you straddled him again and peppered kisses along his collarbone. You placed a hand on his cheek as you kissed him, running your tongue along his bottom lip. He moaned against your mouth as you rubbed yourself against his cock to get him hard again. Andrew moved his hips in time with you and gripped your hip with one hand while the other was still in your hair.

         He removed his mouth from yours for a moment to reach into the bedside drawer for a condom. He ripped the foil with his teeth and rolled it onto his cock. You took his cock and lined it up with your entrance, sinking onto it slowly. He thrusted up to meet your hips and grunted as your head fell back in pleasure. Your hands rested on his torso as you rode him, moans escaping your lips. He let you be on top for a bit before he wanted to take control and ravage you the way he had wanted to when he came home.

He rested a hand on your hip and your lower back as he flipped your position so he was on top. Andrew rested his forehead against yours and kissed you as he pushed himself into you. You moaned and pressed your face into his neck as his thrusts settled into a quick pace. “Fuck, y/n,” Andrew groaned in response to your teeth biting down on his shoulder.

         You hummed, satisfied with the effect you were having on him, and moved your legs so he could thrust deeper. “Harder,” You moaned into his ear. He did as you told him to and pumped himself into you causing his hips to smack against yours. You inhaled sharply and arched your back as he met your desires. You grabbed a hold of his wrist and guided his hand to your throat. He got wind of what you wanted and smirked down at you. Andrew’s hand covered your throat while his thumb gently pressed against the artery in your neck. All of your senses were instantly heightened and the feeling of Andrew choking you had you on the brink. Your eyes watered lightly as he thrusted into you hard and fast. Just as you were about to orgasm, Andrew removed his hand from your neck and grabbed your hips. Your body shuddered as you came and your legs tightened around his waist. Andrew’s forehead fell against yours after he came a few thrusts later.

         The two of you were breathing heavily and feeling delightfully hazy as you soaked up the pleasure both of you experienced. He discarded the condom and laid on his side next to you. You turned towards him and tucked yourself into his chest with your head resting comfortably under his chin. He pressed a few soft kisses into your hair and ran his hand up and down your back. “Forgive me for being an ass?” He asked, looking down at you.

         You looked up at him and smiled, “Go down on me one more time. That will help me understand that you’re really sorry.”

         He chuckled and eased you onto your back, “Are you going to make me beg?”

         “I think you should,” You said, kissing him before he made his way between your legs.

         “That’s a reasonable request,” He smiled, pressing kisses to your thighs. It was well into the morning hours when Andrew was finally finished apologizing to you.

[travelwiide]

Wellbeing In a hurry: The Brilliant Guidelines Of Each Voyager

Wellbeing In a hurry: The Brilliant Guidelines Of Each Voyager 

My dear explorers, today I have for you a significant and required passage concerning wellbeing and our security during the excursion. Numerous elements add to a fruitful excursion, and one of the most significant is the information and familiarity with circumstances that may (even though they don't need to be preventive by any stretch of the imagination!) Meet us in different corners of the earth. Finding new, frequently new places is phenomenal, however, someplace right now, trap, insane taking pictures of resulting scenes and attempting the following fascinating dishes, there must be a spot for a sane way to deal with dealing with yourself.

If someone imagines that he is distant and in the midst of a get-away or on an excursion of dreams just delightful circumstances occur in the film, he is shockingly off-base. Notwithstanding what is the reason for our excursion and what is its inclination, dealing with wellbeing must be the main everything being equal. During the occasion time frame, the recurrence of outings increments, however, this pattern is gradually changing and voyages show up consistently. What's more, increasingly more regularly these are remote, tropical and socially better places. This implies - particularly in another spot - we should be decidedly ready for every single imaginable circumstance, with the goal that we can without much of a stretch appreciate the excursion. The personal satisfaction and sterile conditions in Europe are exceptionally high, and we are utilized to it and regularly we don't have a clue what number of viewpoints we have to focus on during a stay in another nation, particularly one that is less evolved, has an alternate bacterial vegetation or illnesses that don't happen in our nation of origin. We should likewise topple the legend that, with short outings, for example, in Europe, we can wave our hand for legitimate planning. It doesn't make a difference whether we are going to Croatia for a week or a month's excursion to the Amazon. The standards of thinking about wellbeing, security and broadly comprehended travel prophylaxis apply to All over. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); I am not here to startle you, yet to impart to you my movement experience and what I have regularly found out about wellbeing in a hurry. Generally significant, notwithstanding, is the way that the vast majority of risky circumstances and maladies can be effectively maintained a strategic distance from by following the essential standards of Anticipation, ie avoidance ahead of time. Recall that inoculations before takeoff are the premise, yet the immunizations alone don't shield us from contamination, so our principal objective is to keep any malady from being tainted. Furthermore, for that, we have some security manages in ordinary working. That is the reason today I am in a rush and I have accumulated for you the most significant principles that we explorers must know and apply. Since we concur, there is nothing more regrettable than being wiped out and about. In any case, we ought to recollect about water. It is debased water and nourishment arranged on it that is among the most well-known reasons for the explorer's sickness. Particularly with regards to ineffectively created nations, which are a continuous goal of intriguing voyages. Illnesses that can be contaminated by tainted water are, for instance, explorers' looseness of the bowels, typhoid fever, type A jaundice or cholera (subsequently the immunization for these maladies is certainly suggested because, despite appearances, they are not uncommon). The most effortless approach to treat water is to cook it since it executes every single pathogenic bacterium, infections, and parasites. If it is beyond the realm of imagination to expect to bubble water (eg during endurance undertakings), it is beneficial to get concoction treatment operators containing iodine, chlorine or silver mixes, or current micro filtering channels (compact purpose of-utilization).

RULES YOU Have TO Recollect 

1. Drink just filtered water 

(with a conclusion ensured with foil that isn't utilized in Poland) or canned. Indeed, even in eateries, request water in a container, not one that will be served in a container or straightforwardly in a glass. Caution! In India, I met with cases that the water sold in road booths was filled plastic containers from the well, and afterward with a lighter the stopper was dissolved to make it look pre-packaged (!). There is a patent for it: generally press the jug with water immovably, if the stopper doesn't fire, it implies that the jug was shut at the manufacturing plant and you can strikingly drink it. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

2. Keep away from drinks with ice originating from an obscure source 

Like you recall about filtered water, however how hot it is, man doesn't focus that faucet water can likewise be found in our juice or drink. Reviewing the wellspring of water utilized appears to be a supernatural occurrence, so I utilize a basic standard - in the tropics, I never drink super cold beverages. Trust me, it tends to be experienced, and the issue of thinking about whether it would be acceptable water without a doubt vanishes as the hand removed.

3. Wash foods grown from the ground with packaged or bubbled water 

Keep in mind - a similar rule as utilizing ice - washing nourishment with faucet water or well is indistinguishable to drinking it since microscopic organisms and infections will simply remain on the nourishment. Significantly after washing, consistently take them out. You can likewise consume the skin with bubbling water, which will execute the vast majority of the germs.

4. Stay away from nourishments that have not been cooked adequately 

High temperatures and mugginess, just as poor nourishment stockpiling conditions, make it helpless against an expansion in the number of microorganisms that can cause contamination. This especially applies to meat, eggs, fish and dairy items. Try not to eat half-cooked nourishment and nourishment that you don't know that it has experienced warmth treatment or, for instance, has been out of the fridge for quite a while. Despite appearances, it isn't hard to travel, for instance, slows down in Southeast Asia are a reproducing ground for microscopic organisms, infections, and parasites. Simply take a gander at the crude meat or fish, which without a cooler lie on the ledges for a long time, and should turn on you a notification light. Another model - Cuba and popular cakes with whipped cream sell in the city at 30 degrees (without a cooler). We unquestionably disapprove of such bites.

5. Watch out for road restaurants and slows down 

I know, I know, you will be insulted at this moment, since how to go to another spot and not attempt the neighborhood cooking at the focuses were primarily local people eat and normally exceptionally modest. I'm not saying no, however simply be cautious. Attempt to pick those in which there is a ton of traffic, so the nourishment must be set up all the time, and attempt the dishes cooked and singed. What's more, focus on what these dishes are served - in a perfect world, these are dispensable plates and cutlery, and not, for instance, plastic reusable. You should simply take a gander at the spot to see that your plate after the antecedent has quite recently been generally washed in an enormous bowl of water that has been there for a few hours and has a greater number of microorganisms in it than you can envision.

6. Brush your teeth with water from the container or bubbled 

Sounds extravagant? Be that as it may, it isn't. Each accomplished voyager will disclose to you that the principal minute you show up at an extraordinary spot is to place a jug of mineral water in the washroom. For instance, to recall about her when brushing your teeth, since we don't have a reflex to wash the mouth with water from the jug. I will go even above and beyond - you can likewise wash your face with such water, and if you imagine that it is excessively, consistently, however in every case close your mouth washing your mouth or washing in the shower (and afterward dry the face and the mouth region with a towel) unintentionally, don't swallow water. It's as yet a similar faucet water that we attempt to keep away from, and in some cases, one drop is sufficient to harm. Trust me, I did it in India - absolutely because I neglected to close my mouth, washing my hair in the shower. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

7. Wash your hands frequently and consistently wipe them 

Visit washing abbreviates life - says the aphorism, however not this time. Hand cleanliness is a flat out establishment. Continuously wash them before eating and use cleanser. Moreover, make sure to dry your hands with a towel - for indistinguishable reasons from above - to dodge mouth contact or nourishment with water. What's more, the best part is that have an Absolute necessity HAVE with you each explorer - a liquor based disinfectant gel - and use it considerably after washing your hands. Bugs are actually a troublesome rival. There are a lot of them, they are little and "spread with the speed of light." Their nosiness isn't constrained to rises on the skin or unendurable humming over the ear. Creepy crawlies are one of the most hazardous bearers of irresistible ailments, for example, jungle fever, fever, dengue or Japanese encephalitis. As opposed to appearances, you just need one creepy crawly chomp to get contaminated. What's more, these infections are terrible and for some of them (eg intestinal sickness or dengue) there is no right now accessible immunization. It implies that our solitary weapon is counteraction, or to put it plainly, don't allow yourself to nibble. Since I expect that the utilization of the best technique limiting the hazard, for example not enjoying places in danger of bleakness (lamentably, these days a huge piece of the world and all that we call tropics),

RULES YOU Have TO Recall 

1. Anti-agents, anti-agents, and anti-agents 

The least difficult and best standard - use anti-agents, that are synthetic substances, repulsing creepy crawlies. Pick, nonetheless, those that contain DEET or ikicdynä™. The equation - splash, gel or move on is discretionary. It is likewise critical to comprehend what focus to pick. On account of DEET, it ought not surpass 20% in youngsters and half in grown-ups. In any case, it's anything but an appropriate solution for babies under 2 months old. DEET specialists keep going for around 6 hours, however, they ought to be utilized all the more frequently, for instance after a water shower. My recommendation is: don't stop for a second to utilize anti-agents. Try not to move toward this: I would prefer not to, I have overlooked, and perhaps nothing will nibble me. I additionally had such a specific methodology, until in Thailand I became sick with Dengue. You can likewise attempt neighborhood cures that are frequently founded on bug repellent fixings, (for example, lemon eucalyptus oil or customary oil) and are similarly powerful. Caution! Recollect that in tropical nations where you use UV channels, the anti-agents is applied to the skin after first ensuring it with sunscreen.

2. Spread the body 

Numerous aides encourage you to conceal in the tropics from head to toe, for example, long pants, long sleeves, socks, and high boots. Also, on the off chance that you take a gander at a nearby, eg in Thailand, you will really observe that even in 30 degrees they wear pants and pullovers with long sleeves. To a limited extent, it is a propensity to high temperatures, and incompletely security against mosquitoes. Notwithstanding, I am mindful that on the off chance that we don't go to the wilderness or safari, just for a vacation outing to warm nations, everybody needs to exploit this warmth and sun, and strolling in pants is the exact opposite thing he longs for. I have such a patent for it, that I wear, for instance, long slim dresses or meager free jeans that spread the skin, however, are as yet breezy. I put on a tunic or kimono on my shoulders, so I don't feel secured from head to toe, (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Caution! When voyaging more survivalowych it merits considering purchasing apparel production line impregnated bug spray, for example, permethrin, implies a measure that deterrents affects different types of creepy crawlies, including chamomiles, ticks, gnats, and sand bugs.

3. Set up your convenience 

Checking the room before nodding off is significant. As a matter of first importance, investigate the snugness of windows and entryways, check if the wellbeing nets have gaps and expel all mosquitoes from the room. I unquestionably prescribe you pick rooms with cooling since it is a characteristic hindrance that runs over creepy crawlies. If you don't have cooling, it is important to pick a spot with a mosquito net, yet be cautious - watch that there are no gaps, because in numerous lodgings or inns tragically mosquito nets at the beds fail to impress anyone. Heading out in Southeast Asia to less created nations, for example, Laos or Cambodia, I had my own mosquito net in my rucksack (PLN 15 on Allegro), which spared me ordinarily from the murderous assaults of mosquitoes.

4. The time matters 

The mosquito transmitting ailments isn't assaulted uniquely at sunrise and at nightfall. Various sorts of them convey various pathogens through the span of a roundabout day, so understanding that we are uncovered constantly is a significant rule that ought to prepare us to ceaselessly ensure ourselves. During the day, they feed on mosquitoes conveying dengue, chikungunya fever, zika, and yellow fever. Nonetheless, around evening time, the probability of a mosquito invading intestinal sickness, Japanese encephalitis and fever of the western Nile is expanded.

5. Not simply mosquitoes 

We should likewise negate the fantasy that solitary mosquitoes compromise us. Creepy crawlies conveying perilous sicknesses are significantly more and there is nothing to freeze, yet know that the use of the above standards secures us against the whole range of bugs. In a tropical atmosphere, there are frequent sandworms (amazingly bothering small scale openings that are hard to see and which don't seem like a mosquito) - leishmaniasis bearers, onchocerciasis flies, Chrysops from which loads may create and known tusks the conveying an African trance state. In a word - there is not something to be shielded from! Intriguing excursions likewise include conceivable contact with new creature species living near people, for example, monkeys in Indonesia or India. Our first nature is the longing to take a gander at them intently, snap a picture, and so on. In any case, you should be cautious, since they are still wild creatures, frequently bearers of sicknesses, for example, rabies. Bats are likewise bearers of bats, for instance in caverns. Likewise, the likelihood of being nibbled by a canine or feline is much more noteworthy, and these are not lacking, for instance in Thailand - there are entire crowds of them. It is worth to get immunized on rabies, and in contact with creatures be controlled. On the off chance that you travel to open zones and near nature, make certain to keep an eye out for snakes, scorpions and creepy crawlies. Creatures that are for all intents and purposes non-existent in Poland, so we are not acquainted with considering from our perspective.

RULES YOU Have TO Recall 

1. Keep away from contact 

The most straightforward standard - avoid new creatures. Try not to attempt to contact the monkeys and don't utilize their nourishment (it aggravates them definitely and can make them forcefully). The equivalent with irregular pooches or felines even tamed ones. In inadequately created nations, the way to deal with creatures is unique too in the West, nobody inoculates them and doesn't control them at the vet, and the greater part of them are most certainly not. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

2. Wear full footwear 

Flip-flops for a stroll to the wilderness? No way! When deciding to the wilderness, timberland or rustic regions, make sure to wear full footwear, since it will most ideal ensure you against nibbles of creatures living in the grass and undergrowth. Continuously check your shoes before putting them on and altogether shake them off. It is difficult to envision the amount it can fit in one shoe, for instance to my coach left on the porch in Thailand, four frogs have been pressed! You don't have the foggiest idea that it was so hard to expel them from him!

3. Ensure the most youthful 

On the off chance that you are going with youngsters, know that through their development they are an obvious objective for creatures, for example, pooches or felines, which makes them incredibly defenseless against conceivable contact with their salivation or chomp. Particularly that youngsters don't have obstructions in themselves and are bound to stick to creatures.

4. Get ready for swimming 

If you have plans to swimming, get exceptional elastic footwear that shields you from stepping on noxious ocean creatures. Here you don't need to look for - eg in Croatia, there are numerous ocean urchins, whose sting is excruciating and harmful. What's more, what's going on in the warm waters of Australia. Regularly, what you can't see is the most perilous, consequently one of the most suggested is the lockjaw antibody, which is found in the dirt. It's anything but difficult to get tainted with it since you just need a little scraped area or scratch on your feet (and that is anything but difficult to do), which in blend with the open-air shoes we use on siestas, opens us to potential infection. The best security is certainly wearing secured shoes.

RULES YOU Have TO Recall 

1. Make an effort not to walk shoeless 

All things considered, even the most slender folds can secure against disease. Likewise, stay away from places with polluted soil or sand. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

2. Watch where you go 

Dodge likewise puts with high grass, shrubs, wandering into the woodland after dim.

3. Try not to scrub down in plain places 

It is likewise acceptable to abstain from swimming or swimming in water supplies or shallow lakes, because there may likewise be parasites in them.

WHAT ELSE? 

Toward the end I will include a couple of significant guidelines that will positively help you in little and enormous excursions:

1. FLIGHTS AND Fly Slack 

In the wake of arriving at the new spot, allow yourself to adjust and become accustomed to, for instance, high temperatures or changes in height. Visiting and investigating with a ton of tiredness and stun of the creature coming about because of changes in time and atmosphere zones - is a basic advance to its debilitating, and subsequently more noteworthy powerlessness to infection.

2. SUN Insurance 

In a hot and tropical atmosphere recollect about the correct water system of the body and essentially about sunscreen. Try not to think little of the sun, because the closer to the equator, the more grounded it is and tans us quicker and harder. Also, against such a sun we are secured distinctly by extremely high channels (least 30 SPF) and essentially a headgear! It isn't about a pleasant tan, yet about keeping away from sun stuns, strokes and skin melanoma.

3. HUMAN FACTOR 

A factor that is significant and which is frequently thought little of. When voyaging, it happens to become ill and even go to the medical clinic. Notwithstanding great and demonstrated protection, which is an outright premise, regardless of whether it is a short excursion to Europe or an outing to the tropics - you additionally need to have eyes around the head with regards to clinical offices. In ineffectively created nations, the degree of sterility and polished methodology of faculty may go astray from Western norms, which makes a traveler danger of contracting Hepatitis B or HIV/Helps while taking IV trickle or intravenous meds. So on the off chance that you have a decision (I'm not discussing outrageous instances of life and demise when any assistance is now all), consider it multiple times if the spot you came to fulfills the guidelines of neatness. This likewise applies to easygoing sexual experiences - consistently use condoms and know that in creating nations the danger of contracting sexually transmitted diseases and HIV/Helps is a lot higher than in Europe. The equivalent applies to the exhibition of corrective medicines or inking - on the off chance that you need to, pick a trustworthy spot, since it will diminish the probability of contracting, among others WZW B and C. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

4. PLAN WITH YOUR HEAD! travel

I realize that when the excursion of an excursion comes, everything else goes to the foundation, however, be cautious in the entirety of this. The world won't get away from us, and wellbeing may, so pick cautiously the spots you need to visit. Check the pages of international safe havens that give current data on eg common cadastre, just as the WHO site, which refreshes data on the scourge or the expanded danger of contamination, eg dengue in a given locale. If you don't need to, don't drive yourself into hazardous places or trust that the danger will pass. None of us is distant, yet most risky circumstances can stay away from. From one perspective, the experience is an undertaking, yet on the other - toward the day's end what is extremely significant is wellbeing and security. Without this, each excursion loses its flavor.

source https://www.travelwiide.com/2020/04/wellbeing-in-hurry-brilliant-guidelines.html

[yewavenue3-blog]

A Very Merry Australian Christmas Dinner!

Welcome to our 2018 Christmas celebration! This year for Christmas we feasted on a menu of ham glazed in mead, prawn, mango and avocado cocktail salad, a thousand layered smoked salmon crepe cake, crispy prosciutto potatoes and a fennel and sweet potato gratin and a black forest cake. And there was no shortage of Christmas cheer!

Of course no Christmas is complete without drama and our most pressing drama this year was whether my father would make it home for Christmas after his recent stroke. Thankfully, his progress has been good and he was allowed to come home for good.

Thousand layer crepe cake

I had my whole menu planned weeks in advance and decided to do a really Australian Christmas. What does that mean? For me an Australian Christmas means seafood and ham. We would be having 12 people over so I needed something large to serve everyone but I wanted it to be easy so ham it was.

So a month before Christmas I had chosen a ham. I didn't want to wait until the last minute and I also wanted to choose the perfect looking ham. So I asked my mother if she had room in her fridge to store it and we brought the 6 kilo beast to her house. But the day before Christmas Eve dinner she messaged me. Did she want us to defrost the ham? You see her instinct is to freeze everything and she had put it in the freezer!

Christmas tree bread, sweet potato & fennel bake, prosciutto wrapped potatoes and caper and cabbage salad

"What do I do?" she cried. We talked her through the cold water method for defrosting and after battling the huge queues to buy prawns and seafood we went to pick up the ham (crossing our fingers that it wasn't frozen inside, nightmares of food poisoning our guests foremost in mind).

Mead glazed ham

First to arrive was my Uncle Sam and his partner Lien who only arrived 5 minutes early (they're working on arriving on time and used to arrive 30 minutes early which is alarming for a busy hostess). Then my cousin Richard arrived and then my other cousin Roger with his partner Catherine and their kids Natalie and Jason.

Inside the crepe cake

Last to arrive was my mother, father and sister. I looked at my dad and asked, "Where is your rice?" because he usually turns up at all dinners with a bowl full of steamed rice. He shrugged his shoulders with newfound nonchalance. Could this be a new father that can go for a meal without his beloved rice?

Prosciutto wrapped baby potatoes

Of course there were the distinctly Chinese touches to Christmas. Lien told Catherine (who has always been an extra small size) that she had put on weight. Uncle Sam asked father, "How much you pay for your hospital visit?".

Individual Prawn Salads

There was of course way too much food. I packed up lots of it for everyone to take home as there was way too much for just us (although Mochi would disagree, she was eyeing off the ham all night).

Uncle Sam asking my father, "How much you pay for the hospital visit?"

My father had to leave after 2 hours on the dot as he gets tired although we all suspect that this rule also suits his personality perfectly as he never wants to linger after a meal. 1 hour and 55 minutes after we started he started kicking my sister under the table to signal that he wanted to go home. Then at two hours exactly he turned to Mr NQN who was giving them a lift home. "I go now?" he said.

Sweet potato and fennel smoked mozzarella gratin

Everyone else stayed for much longer. We ate black forest cake as nibbled on my Dear Reader Matilda's delicious ciamballette and biscottini which are so delicious that by the evening of Christmas Day there were only 4 cookies left!

"I can haz ham?" says Mochi

Afterwards we opened up presents. My main present was a karaoke machine which delighted me so much (I'm sure my neighbours will have the opposite reaction). While we unwrapped Mr NQN and I were watching a tv ad for Christmas from a supermarket and Mr NQN turned to me and said, "Do they know that nobody's Christmas is like that?".

So tell me Dear Reader, how was your Christmas? What did you eat? Do you make something different each year for Christmas or do you prefer to stick to the same menu?

Black Forest Cake

Thousand Layered Seafood Crepe cake

All Original Recipes by Lorraine Elliott

Preparation time: 30 minutes

Cooking time: 60 minutes

Serves 16-20

Sparkling with jewels and with each layer spread with a delicious filling, this crepe cake is a show stopper. Don't feel intimidated by this though. If you do have a crepe pan, that makes things easier but it's fine without too. And yes a dozen eggs really go into it but I promise this will be a beautiful cake to remember and feeds many, many people!

For crepes

1 cup flour

1 cup buckwheat flour

12 eggs, at room temperature

1/2 teaspoon fine salt

1.2 litres milk

For filling

400g/14ozs. taramasalata

200g/7ozs. sour cream (full fat)

200g/7ozs. cream cheese, softened

40g/1.42ozs. French onion soup packet mix

75g/2.7ozs. tobiko or caviar

600g/21.2ozs. smoked salmon

pomegranate arils, cherry tomatoes, radishes, dill and chives to decorate

Step 1 - Blend the ingredients together in a large food processor (split in two or three if you need to). Allow to rest for 30 minutes. Then heat a crepe pan and add oil or butter.

Using the springform tin collar to shape the crepes so that they are even

The crepe after collar is removed and the edges trimmed

Step 2 - Place a 22cm/9inch spring cake collar on the pan and pour the batter in (about 200ml/7flozs. or so). Trim the edges with a butter knife, remove the collar and then flip over once one side is done. Repeat many times until all the batter is used. You can stack these on top of each other while you are making them and then cool them completely.

Step 3 - Blend the sour cream and cream cheese together with the soup mix. Set aside (make sure it's of a spreadable consistency).

Layering with smoked salmon

Step 4 - Place one crepe on a serving plate and then spread with the French onion dip and then alternate with the taramasalata and then add smoked salmon on some layers. Place a layer of the tobiko in the middle layer of the crepe and then keep doing until you've used up all the crepes and you have about 1/2 cup of the French onion dip left.

Step 5 - Place the French onion dip into a piping bag fitted with a large star tip. Pipe around the crepe cake and then decorate with pomegranate arils, cherry tomatoes, thinly sliced radishes, dill and chives. This cake is best made a day ahead and then refrigerated so that the dip is firm. Serve cut into slices like a cake.

Ham Glazed with Honey Mead and served with Ham Jam

Preparation time: 40 minutes

Cooking time: 90 minutes

1 large ham (around 6kilos)

Cloves

2/3 cup brown sugar

2/3 cup mead

1 tablespoon seeded mustard

1 chilli, sliced (optional)

Step 1 - Preheat oven to 170C/340F and line a large baking tray with parchment (one large enough to fit your ham). Remove rind from ham - you should be able to get it off in one piece and try to lift it off carefully leaving an even layer of fat underneath it. Stud with cloves lining them up so that they're in evenly spaced lines. Then score the fat.

Stud with cloves first

Then score using cloves as a guide

Step 2 - Mix the brown sugar, mead, mustard and chilli. Baste the ham all over with some of this mixture and then bake in the oven for 2 hours basting the ham with rest of the brown sugar mead mixture every 30 minutes.

Prawn, Avocado and Mango Cocktail

Christmas without prawns in Australia would just seem weird. Rather than have everyone's hands getting dirty peeling the prawns, I served a prawn, mango and avocado cocktail in a glass on everyone's place setting. The cocktail sauce was a big hit - if you've got some Old Bay seasoning please give this a go!

2kgs/4.4lbs prawns, shelled

1-2 avocadoes, cubed

1/2 large mango, cut into cubes

1/2 cup mayonnaise

2 tablespoons chilli sauce

2 tablespoons ketchup

2 teaspoons Old Bay seasoning

1 teaspoon lemon juice

Chives to sprinkle

Step 1 - Mix the mayonnaise, chilli sauce, ketchup, Old Bay and lemon juice together. Place the avocadoes, mango, pomegranate seeds, spicy mayonnaise in individual glasses.

Cabbage and Caper Mother In Law Salad

Inspired by a visit to Barzaari in Chippendale, this salad was just so delicious that I had to eat it again. Best of all, it was super easy too!

1/2 cup mayonnaise

3 tablespoons maple syrup

1 teaspoon sesame oil

5 cups thinly sliced purple cabbage

3 tablespoons capers, rinsed well and patted dry

1/4 cup toasted sesame seeds

Fresh parsley to garnish

Salt and pepper to taste

Step 1 - Firstly mix the mayonnaise, maple syrup and sesame oil together. Then mix all ingredients together to ensure that there is an even distribution. Season with salt and pepper.

Crispy Prosciutto Potatoes

There's nothing better than a roast potato, I'm quite convinced. But then you wrap it in prosciutto and glaze it with maple syrup and you've got a super potato!

1.5kgs baby potatoes

2 tablespoons butter, cubed

2 tablespoons oil

15 slices (or as many as there are potatoes) prosciutto

1 tablespoon maple syrup

Step 1 - Par boil the potatoes until they are tender and then top with butter and oil bake them in a 230C/446F oven until crispy (around 25 minutes). This tastes great dipped in sour cream or aioli too.

Step 2 - Wait til the potatoes are cool so that they are easier to handle (you can do this ahead of time) and then wrap the potatoes in prosciutto and bake at 200C/400F for another 10 minutes or until prosciutto is crispy. Brush with maple syrup and place in the warm oven for 5 minutes. I added the maple when I warmed the potatoes up.

Fennel and Sweet Potato Gratin

Inspired by Sarah from Sarah Cooks, this fennel and sweet potato uses smoked mozzarella to give the dish a wonderful flavour.

1 large fennel bulb, trimmed

1.5 large sweet potatoes

300ml/10.6flozs. cream

1 onion, peeled and diced

4 cloves garlic, peeled and diced

150g/5ozs. smoked mozzarella, grated

50g/1.7ozs. butter, cubed

Step 1 - Preheat oven to 210C/420F. Thinly mandolin the fennel and sweet potatoes and then place in a baking dish with the cream, onion, garlic and grated smoked mozzarella and dot with butter cubes. Bake for 40 minutes.

Source: http://www.notquitenigella.com/2018/12/26/christmas-dinner-food-australia-2018/

[lilyjane-e-blog]

Weak

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

The sound of the leaky faucet was enough to drive Lily Evans insane. With each drop she slipped further and further into her now cold bathwater until she was full submerged. How long had she been in the tub? She had no watch but Lily was sure it was verging on hour three by how icy the water felt against her skin. Holding her breath and closing her eyes Lily held herself under the water until her lungs felt on fire, as if each individual bronchi was moments from exploding. It was an addicting feeling knowing she was in control of whether or not she lived. If she stayed where she was it was over, if she came up then life carried on for her. The decision was in her hands.

Resurfacing Lily took a gulp of air her throat aching from her latest experiment of seeing how many times she could play this game before she could grow bored. How long until the control was not enough? The euphoria of fresh air in her lungs had become nothing more than a small spark of relief by this point and so she willingly chose to leave the bath tub. It wasn’t that Lily Evans wanted to die, not at all she thought as she toweled off and unhooked the stopper from her clawfoot tub. Wrapping the white fabric around her svelte frame Lily dragged a towel and conditioner through her thick, red locks. On the contrary, Lily Evans wanted to live. 

Bruises and scars marked her pale skin and she traced them each with vitamin oil. As a child her mother used to bathe her cuts in it to stop from scarring, and though there were probably spells to do just that, Lily still felt that sometimes muggle methods were better. Opening her drawers Lily easily selected a set of undergarments where her obsessive habits of neatness even extended. Not a single thing about Lily Evans was disorderly from the perfectly made bed to how all her lotions were lined up in size order. If you were lucky to see what was under her outfits than one would realize Lily Evans never wore anything that was unmatched; if her bra was a lavender than the silk panties matched, that was her secret. The way Lily viewed the world was that if everything went to hell at least she would still have personal order. Personal order was vital to life.

In contrast Lily selected an over sized jumper from her closet to both keep her warm and hide her battered skin from view. Potter the name stretched from one shoulder to the other of garnet piece that Lily had selected, stolen months before from James’ pile of old sweatshirts that no longer fit. Lily was not one to often wear his clothing, this was one of her few exceptions. Her stomach growled with hunger pains and Lily realized she hadn’t eaten all day though it was approaching the evening, it was hard to remember to eat when she was busy and there was no one to remind you. A piece of rye bread in the toaster and the half avocado in her fridge would be good. Methodically spreading the green over her toast Lily made a mental note to go to the grocer tomorrow. 

The couch had been her safety net since the attack on the Ministry and Lily had spent many nights curled up in its welcoming arms clothed in the blanket her grandmother had knitted when she was a young child. The same blanket she pulled up over her bare legs to stop the chill from goose bumping her legs now. In the silence she sat staring at the adjacent wall her mind doing all the talking, much against her will. Her mind was never something in her control and often it drifted to places that she had no intention of reaching. Today’s topic was her place in a world that didn’t want her there. 

Lily had spent the last few months torn between staying in a world where the number of people who wanted those of her blood status was small in comparison those who did not, or returning to the muggle world. It was safer to live anonymously far from London maybe somewhere warm where she would never have to worry about being a witch ever again. The last time Lily regretted being a witch was when she was eleven but yet here she was thinking how much easier life would have been if she had never discovered magic. Alice and James often comforted her in those thoughts,

You have just as much right as anyone else to be here

The words were well intended and Lily appreciated the sentiment though she knew they would never quite understand. They were purebloods and whether they wanted to realize it or not if it came down to it then they would always be safer than she based on their blood alone. Lily was not afforded that luxury. To be honest it might be better for them if she was to leave, whether they recognized it or not. 

That was another deep seated fear that Lily kept to herself, just how unworthy she felt. James Potter could have anyone girls who were prettier, smarter, and definitely more magic savvy. Why had picked a mudblood like her was beyond Lily. For years she had watched girls throw themselves at James Potter and for years she had seen him only watch her. It was she that he worked to impress when really she didn’t deserve that. His love was unconditional and had been for a long time and Lily would never be able to repay that back to him. All she could do was love him and pray that one day he wouldn’t wake up and leave, never to return. Even at that Lily would not blame him.

 IT was not just him that made her feel unworthy. It was her whole life that made her feel unwrothy. She was a muggleborn, nothing else. A witch born to two muggles who didn’t even want anything to do with her these days. It was because of that she was set for failure. Her blood made her weaker in comparison to others though that was trivial. She was not weak. She was strong. She had to be strong. Lily could still remember specifically the first time she was afraid due to her blood status and though she had gotten good at fighting the feeling back on days like today it felt just as real as the first time it had settled into her stomach.

A warm hand on her shoulder awoke Lily Evans far before even the sun had risen. “I need to speak to you” the voice was a whisper in the dark but Lily knew Minerva McGonagall’s tone too well to be afraid. Messy hair, crusty eyes, and confusion led Lily out of bed behind the Professor and down to the common room. “Professor, is everything okay?” Lily had no clue why she was being pulled out of bed at such an odd hour. Was her family okay? Did something happen to her sister? “Lily, keep your voice down” McGonagall was no more than a faint whisper as she gestured for her to follow into the hall. It was not odd for Minvera to pull her aside, she was a prefect after all however tonight was much different. Remus was not there and so she knew it was more personal than professional. The stone felt cold against her feet and wrapping her arms tightly around her body Lily stood searching out the Professor’s face in the darkness. “There was an attack, Lily. You cannot repeat these details to anyone but Mary Macdonald is in the infirmary”. That was exactly why Professor McGonnagall had grabbed her, it was quite well known in the castle that Mary and Lily were practically attached at the hip, there was no one Lily was closer to besides maybe Alice. Her heart dropped into her chest, “Is she alright?” Lily did not like the way Minerva was avoiding her eyes, avoiding her questions. “Alive”, but that was it and Lily knew by her expression not to ask anything else.

Lily did not need to keep the conversation between herself and Professor McGonnagall quiet for very long because by the time she was awake the next morning it seemed half the castle knew. Slytherins were bragging about how Mulciber and Avery had done in the pathetic Gryffindor, Lily’s friend. Though they were not friends James had been the first to offer her a hug and words of reassurance that Mary would be alright, it’d been the first true genuine moment the pair had shared. Lily spent the days after seeking solace on Remus’ shoulder and crying with her roommates over Mary’s empty bed. They were sisters bonded by more than just their house status and this was a blow to all of them. Mary did get better though and after two weeks had returned to her rightful place in the Tower but the damage had been done. They had attacked her over her blood status, slurs thrown at her because she was a halfblood. It was the first real time Lily had seen the hatred spill over into something almost deadly. Lily had nearly lost her closest friend at Hogwarts because of blood status.

The unsettling fear of being targeted for her blood status had never left Lily. When she spoke too boldly in front of her pureblood peers there were times that she wondered if she would end up like Mary, or worse. It was so trivial in her eyes the fact that she had been born to muggles, it wasn’t of her choosing so why was she so hated? That was not to say all purebloods felt that way, but the majority it seemed did and that was frightening. What if she angered the wrong person? So far it had only been nasty words thrown in her direction, but what if one day it was a spell? 

That same fear had also been the driving force in her decision to join the Order. Those that knew her decision teased that it was because she was dating a Potter, but James had been the farthest thing from her mind when Dumbledore approached her. It wasn’t uncommon for her to drop in on the Headmaster’s office, he often held an open door policy and Lily had always enjoyed their conversations. The Order had come up organically when Lily voiced her concerns about leaving the safety of Hogwarts, how the wizarding world was not as forgiving as these walls. Dumbledore had simply asked what she would be willing to do to make the world safer for people like herself and her friends and Lily had answered him honestly that she would do anything. He warned her that there was a war brewing and doing anything would mean she was caught in the crossfire, but Lily did not care for that. If her bloodshed meant that others could be safe and free then that was a minor price to pay. It was that same afternoon Dumbledore informed her about the Order and that he thought she could do well within it’s ranks. In one afternoon Lily had signed her life away and had yet to look back.

Even on her worst days when Lily felt like up and leaving she did not regret her decision to join the Order. How could she? They were doing real things and trying to help real people. Death Eaters, that was the other faction, they were the ones who wanted her dead and everyone like her. How could Lily simply stick her head in the sand and watch the persecution from afar? Her life was not that valuable, nor would she ever consider her safety over the greater good. The Order was the greater good. 

Many would argue that the Ministry was who Lily should have supported, but she was far smarter than that. The Ministry did nothing. They were a scheme run by corrupt officials who could not be trusted. The worst purebloods seemed to find their way into the Ministry and they were treated as kings. It was the Ministry who refused to do anything about the attack on Mary, they were just kids being kids they had claimed and the boys were not expelled nor did they receive anything besides weeks of detention. If the Ministry could turn a blind eye there then how could she trust them to do anything at all? The truth was that the Ministry was too afraid of rocking the boats, too afraid if they actually did something against the injustice that the purebloods would simply close their purses. It was money, that was all the Ministry cared about. Money over morality. Money over safety. Money over their own citizens. 

Snapping herself from her thoughts Lily reached for her television remote flipping on some ridiculous reality tv show to keep her mind busy. Tonight was not the night to run, not when she had too much to lose. She had friends, a fiance, and people who depended on her. Being a coward was not her and running would be cowardice. There was no option other than to fight. Fight that in hopes one day there would be a world where blood status was not even a thing. It was a wishful thought but Lily felt that through the Order anything was possible. 

The television began lulling Lily into a much needed sleep when the sound of footsteps awoke her once on the cusp of rest. Green eyes found Peter Pettigrew walking in through her door causing Lily to smile, it wasn’t often she got to see her friend these days. They all had spare keys to her apartment, she had probably handed them out too liberally but that was a worry for another day. Peter was a sweet boy, one that Lily had come to love almost instantly. There was not a bad thing to say about Peter nor did she ever think that day could come. Sweet, trustworthy, and as cuddly as a teddy bear Lily did enjoy when Peter Pettigrew came to visit. “Come, sit. I was just watching television. Real Housewives, James would kill me if he found out I watched” she laughed moving so her friend could join her. Curling herself to cuddle up next to Peter, Lily began relaxing once again the thoughts of running away and being alienated far from her mind. “I’m so glad you stopped by, Peter, I really needed a friend this evening. Can I get you something to drink?”

[bi-the-angel-blog]

“Por el amor de dios, Simon, do you ever stop talking?” It wasn’t the first time, nor the last, Raphael assumed, he would repeat the question. Simon pursed his lips, staring at him silently. But Raphael could see it behind his eyes, the urge to say something, to open that pretty little mouth of his again and—

“Okay, but why can I see my reflection?” And ask more questions, apparently.

“Because you can, idiota. I don’t know.” Raphael lifted his head from his hand, side-glancing down the sofa at Simon. He was sat there all rigid, with his back straight and his thighs pressed together, hands folded neatly on his lap. It would almost be endearing if the newly-turned vampire weren’t so irritating.

“When did you figure out how to say g—” He choked, frowning at his inability to say the word. “Say g—”

“God? Took a while,” Raphael sighed, taking some pity on him. He himself had been pretty confused when he’d been turned, and Simon didn’t ask for it, didn’t anticipate it. Everything that was happening to him was Camille’s fault, but Raphael had a hand in it too. So he supposed he could go a little softer on him.

“...Can you still get a boner? Since you don’t have any blood circulation and all.” Well, that was short-lived. Raphael almost hissed with annoyance as he hung his head, pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut. This was some sort of nightmare, it just had to be. “I mean, you have feelings, I know that. Because I still have feelings.”

Raphael made a face, slowly looking back up towards the boy. “Did you just ask... if I, specifically, get boners?”

Simon stared at him, and yet, somehow, didn’t seem the least bit ashamed. He was sickeningly oblivious to social etiquette, thought Raphael. “Uhm… I didn’t mean to. But I guess I did.”

For a few solid moments, they just stared at one another, Simon looking like he was expecting some sort of answer and Raphael looking like he’d rather step into daylight than be there on the sofa with him. When Raphael did speak, it was with the most monotone voice he had ever used. “I would kill you if you weren’t already dead.”

Simon all but pouted, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy that had just been scolded. “How else am I supposed to learn about things unless I ask?”

“Ask someone else,” Raphael grumbled, pushing himself up off the sofa and going over to the bar to make himself some sort of drink. Bloody Mary, probably, since he’d skipped out on lunch. With extra vodka.

“But you’re my only vampire friend,” Simon said, seemingly deciding to follow him. The boy took a seat on one of the bar stools as Raphael got to mixing, a dull expression on his face.

“I’m not your friend,” he responded simply, but as per usual, Simon wasn’t deterred.

“Don’t fight it,” he chirped, reaching over the counter to abduct one the blood pouch Raphael had taken out of the fridge. He watched as Simon pulled out the stopper and began sucking on it as if it were some kind of juicebox, which, as was normal with the ex-mundane, was both infuriating and sort of adorable.

“Por qué eres tan lindo…” Raphael mused under his breath to himself, turning to grab another blood packet.

“You think I’m cute?” For the first time since they’d met, Raphael was the one surprised, nearly dropping the pouch onto the ground.

“Qué—”

“I speak Spanish. You knew that, right?” He started sipping on his blood again as Raphael stared on in disbelief, mouth hanging open enough that the tips of his fangs showed. “Qué pasa? Cat got your—”

Before he could finish his sentence, Raphael was in his face with a fistfull of his shirt, jaw clenched. Suddenly Simon wished he hadn’t said anything. “Escucha, ahora. You are intolerable, insufferable.”

“But cute,” Simon added in, unable to help himself despite Raphael looking like he was about to actually bite his face off.

“Shut. Up.”

“I’m just saying, you did say I was—” Raphael lunged, and Simon tried to pull back but the other male still had a grip on him. He braced himself to feel pain but instead… soft. Raphael’s lips were cold, but soft, and surprisingly gentle considering he had a homicidal look on his face only seconds ago. Though he was too shocked to respond, Simon felt himself relaxing.

When Raphael pulled back, his eyes were closed, which made him chuckle a little bit, especially when the boy chased his lips for a moment. When Simon finally did open his eyes, he smiled, and for once, he didn’t say a word. Just bit his bottom lip and reached out a hand, pulling at the hem of Raphael’s jacket like a needy child.

“I forgot what quiet was like,” the vampire said, a smirk quirking up the corner of his mouth. “It’s peaceful.”

“...You just kissed me.” Raphael had to smile at that, Simon’s round, doe-like eyes watching him intensely. “Why did you kiss me?”

Raphael raised an eyebrow, letting go of Simon’s shirt finally and instead resting his hands on the outsides of his thighs. “Are you upset about it?”

“What?” Simon’s voice wavered nervously, his hands tentatively falling on Raphael’s waist. Though he’d never admit it, he almost felt giddy about it. “No, I’m not. It was great! Unexpected, but it was good. I didn’t think—”

And Raphael kissed him again, to make him stop talking. Simon’s words died in his throat as he kissed back this time, letting out a quiet yelp when he felt fangs graze his lip. Raphael’s beloved quiet lasted longer this time, as did the kiss, with his hands gently squeezing Simon’s legs and Simon’s fingers digging gently into his hips. Despite not needing air, Simon let out a breath when they broke apart, a smile forming on his lips that Raphael knew meant he was, unfortunately, about to make a joke.

“If you shut me up like that all the time—” This time around, Raphael didn’t let their lips separate for as long as Simon would allow. For quiet’s sake, he swore to himself as one of his hands came to rest on Simon’s cheek. For quiet’s sake, and quiet’s sake alone.

[billyagogo]

32 Things Under $10 That'll Never Stop Being Useful

New Post has been published on https://newsprofixpro.com/moxie/2019/10/12/32-things-under-10-thatll-never-stop-being-useful/

32 Things Under $10 That'll Never Stop Being Useful

We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

1.

A squeezable bottle so you can drizzle the *exact* amount of olive oil, dressing, syrups, WHATEVER, instead of accidentally pouring the whole darn thing over your precious meal.

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Promising review: “I bought this for using with canola oil with my cast iron. Pouring oil out of the container has always been tough, as you either get a drop or two in your pan, or you get way too much. This little bottle give you great control over how much oil you can put into your pan. The little cap looks too fragile at first, but actually functions really well. You just flip it open with your thumb, squirt your oil, and flip it closed again. I love it.” —Lewis WiseGet it from Amazon for $3.99+ (available in three sizes).

2.

A bungee dog leash that’ll allow your pup to pull to their heart’s content without choking themselves. Now your walks won’t end with a dramatic power struggle.

amazon.com, amazon.com

It also has a soft, padded handle to give you a comfortable grip! Promising review: “I’m leash training my dog now and this is a great tool. The encased bungees cord has more value than I realized when I purchased it. It prevents your ahold from getting jolted if the dog pulls suddenly, and it’s also a more gentle pull back on him than a leash that doesn’t have any give. I love the handle down by the clip for leash training; it’s way easier on my hand than wrapping the old webbing leash around it. We’ve had to wash it at least twice and it’s held up great.” —JessicaGet it from Amazon for $9.99+ (available in five colors).

3.

A Hanes wire-free bra for enjoying bralette level–comfort alll day, but still having the proper support you need (we’re talking super soft material + gentle cup molding, lining, and padding). Reviewers with DD cups say this really gives them the best of both worlds!

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Promising review: “I have A LOT of issues finding bras that fit me, being a 38DD-G, and bras that don’t cause me pain. Before buying this, I had one sports bra that I wore that was too small. I decided to take a chance and buy this bra and I’m so glad I did! It fits perfectly and doesn’t cause me any pain. It has just enough padding that your nipples won’t show throw if they get cold. Plus, you really can’t beat the price. I plan on ordering more.” —Kaitlyn NicoleGet it from Amazon for $7.53+ (available in sizes S–3X and six colors).

4.

An in-flight stand because this’ll make sure you can watch movies on your phone or iPad, even if the plane doesn’t have an entertainment system (national flights…do better).

Amazon

Promising review: “This product is so simple, so inexpensive, and works so well. I’m writing this review at 34,000 feet and it has my iPhone 7 Plus perched comfortably and securely near eye-level. Watching movies has never been more convenient while traveling.” —Kristin H. HenryGet it from Amazon for $9.99+ (available in three colors).

5.

A palette ring so you can create a ~custom palette~ while you do your makeup (or nails!). You can mix shades together, prevent product waste, and have everything you need *on hand* so you’re finished faster than usual.

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Btw, the ring is adjustable! Promising review: “This ring is perfect for makeup application. I use it primary for my concealer, lips products, or to mix colors to achieve my desired shade. It is adjustable so can be changed to fit whichever finger you are comfortable with.” —That Girl TaraGet a pack of two from Amazon for $6.99.

6.

A twist-lock wine stopper to ensure your opened vino stays fresh while *chilling* in the fridge. It’s leakproof, airtight, and even has a colored lock indicator so you know the bottle is actually sealed.

Amazon

Promising review: “This is the easiest opener I’ve ever used. With arthritis, removing corks was becoming very difficult. This is super easy and painless.” —pbGet a pack of two from Amazon for $9.99.

7.

A pair of blackout curtains that’ll help you get some SLEEP for once past 6 a.m. Whoever says the morning bird gets the worm can HAVE IT. We just want complete darkness.

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Promising review: “These are TRUE blackout curtains!!! FINALLY I found some curtains that you truly cannot see through. These are exactly what I was looking for! They really don’t let ANY light through, they’re fantastic for both my office, where I have to do minute color adjustments on architectural illustrations on my computer monitor, AND my bedroom, where the nearby train station’s blinding lights keep me up all night unless I wear one of those sleeping blindfolds, which are really uncomfortable.” —DotScott1Get them from Amazon for $8.99+ (available in three sizes and 18 colors).

8.

A glass nail file with a convenient carrying case for shaping your nails with pro-level precision sans irritating scraping, like traditional files. This’ll make the whole process a heck of a lot more satisfying — and leave you with expertly-rounded manis.

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Promising review: “WOW! I’ve gone through her share of nail files. Emery boards, boring cardboard boards you get at the pharmacy, you name it. THIS IS AMAZING! It files like a DREAM. It usually takes me 5-10 minutes to do a good job on my nails and this was over in moments, and my nails were smooth and wonderful. It’s quick, you’re actually using something wonderful other than sandpaper on your delicate nails, it ends up SMOOTH, not jagged like with an emery board, and not frustrating like a metal file where you can’t tell if you’re doing any damage at all. It’s fantastic.” —Jennifer A. MeldeGet it from Amazon for $6.99+ (available in seven colors).

9.

A widely-loved Wet Brush to detangle BOTH wet and dry hair, minus any painful pulling or breakage. Aka you’ll still have every strand of hair you started with.

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Promising review: “I used to fight with my daughter (who is five) to brush her hair, but this brush is amazing no matter how many tangles are in your hair. It slowly and gently glides right through them one by one. Great for sensitive scalps. I love using it, and so does my daughter on both wet and dry hair. It’s our go-to.” —Stephanie KingGet it from Sally Beauty for $8.99 (available in two colors)To learn more, check out “If Tangled Hair Is Your Worst Nightmare, This Brush Will Be Your Hero”.

10.

An egg spatula, because this’ll perfect your egg game without actually making you practice. The tip of its head is firm for better scrambling, its longest edge is soft and flexible for lifting and turning omelets, and its flat face makes lifting fried eggs so much easier. Translation: your breakfast will now always be in one piece.

Amazon

Promising review: “I bought this to match the other spatulas like it. Turns out it’s bigger compared to the other ones, but I’m glad, because it does the job better. And it washes well!” —amelia Get it from Amazon for $7.99.

11.

An adhesive LED strip to reduce your TV’s glare so the screen creates sharper images and increases color contrast — aka The Office will look better than ever as you non-stop binge before it’s removed from Netflix (😭).

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It also helps your vision adjust between a bright screen and dark room to reduce eye strain!Promising review: “You will be surprised how well this works. I thought it was a gimmick — but then read several articles about the benefits of bias lighting and though I would give it a try. Setting it up takes about five minutes — very simple. The surprise comes when you turn on the TV with the bias lighting and the picture POPS! The contrast and the black level jumps and the picture looks significantly improved! ” —Rgd18Get it from Amazon for $9.99+ (available in six sizes).

12.

A mini laptop cleaner with two sides: one a microfiber pad to keep screens smudge-free, and the other a retractable brush to sweep away dust and crumbs. Cleaner workspace = a higher chance you’ll actually answer some emails.

Amazon

Promising review: “This is an ingenious product. I find that my keyboard is always accumulating dust and all kinds of other stuff I usually drop or spill onto it. It doesn’t matter if it’s work or home, they both somehow get the same amount of dirt onto it. I put it to use with my work keyboard and I noticed it cleaned between the grooves and under the keys. You can clean the keyboard, monitor, glasses and not have to need three different items.” —DaveSincereGet it from Amazon for $9.95.

13.

A metal brainteaser puzzle so you can keep your hands busy (goodbye, picking your cuticles), stimulate your mind when work. is. so. BORING, and stay entertained really wherever you go.

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Basically, it’s a challenge to take the cylinder puzzle apart and put it back together! It sounds simple enough — until you read the reviews that this is h a r d.Promising review: “Wonderful quality construction. This was my first Hanayama metal puzzle. I have purchased a few more since. You can’t find a better quality, longer-lasting puzzle in my opinion. Very happy with the purchase. It wasn’t too difficult to figure out for me, but a few other people I let try it struggled quite a bit. I would say putting it back together proved more difficult than taking it apart the first time. Once you figure it out it becomes easy, but is still fun to take apart and put back together.” —RippGet it from Amazon for $9.70.

14.

A multifunctional opener that’ll help you get a ~grip~ and tackle just about everything that has a lid: jars, bottles, cans, nail polish, you name it. Pickle jar — our war has finally come to an end.

Amazon

Promising review: “This thing is really neat! I love kitchen gadgets and this is definitely a great add to my utensil drawer. It’s multi functional so I don’t have to have too much cluttering up the kitchen drawer. Plus, it is easy to use and really works well. Very happy with my purchase and if you like useful kitchen gadgets, you will too!” —GypsyGet it from Amazon for $8.97.

15.

A four-way cleaning brush for making worn-out boots (why do salted sidewalks punish us so) look brand-new just in time for ~fall outfits~. Plus! It works on just about every surface, like sneakers, leather coats, and furniture, so you can erase damage 👏 all 👏 year 👏 long.

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It has four sides: one to clean heavier scuff marks and stains, one to gently clean fine suede and light scuff marks, one to clean rounded corners, and one to clean hard-to-reach crevices and grooves. Promising review: “I was really sad when I thought my bucks were at the end of their road, because I had always heard that suede couldn’t be cleaned. With this brush and a little elbow grease my bucks are looking great again! I didn’t use any water or cleaner, I just kept wiping the brush off on my jeans to keep the brush clean, then hit the shoe again with a clean surface. It even brightened the leather up a bit.” —RobertoGet it from Amazon for $6.99.

16.

A pair of high-waisted leggings, because reviewers RAVE that these are every bit as soft (if not softer!) than high-end leggings — including LuLaRoe and Lululemon! Welcome to year-long snuggles for your bum.

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AND reviewers swear they’re not see-through (even when you squat)!Promising review: “Let me start by saying that I never take the time to write reviews — and I purchase half of everything we buy on Amazon. However, as a former LuLaRoe-obsessed mom, I felt compelled to make time to review these leggings. If you are reading this and wondering how these compare to LLR leggings, I am here to tell you I am confident LLR is ripping loyal customers off by charging $25-30+. These leggings are just as soft. They fit the same, if not better. They do NOT PILL if you wash cold and hang dry. I truly feel like I’m wearing ‘butter leggings’. The price is obviously better and more fair in my opinion.” —Jen WolfeGet them from Amazon for $8.99+ (available in two size ranges: S–L and XL–3X and 23 colors).

17.

An edge dish brush so you can say so long to washing dishes with bacteria-filled sponges. This’ll drain excess water directly into the sink so mold can’t build up the minute you walk away. AND it saves space!

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And it’s scratch-resistant! Promising review: “Sometimes it’s the little things that make you happy — like the fact that the dish brush can sit up out of the sink, not get gross when you accidentally throw greasy dishes on top, and it’s attractive! If the edge of your sink is, it stays up.” —JazzmineGet it from Amazon for $6.90+ (available in two colors).

18.

An adjustable blind duster that’ll clean your window blinds and car vents faster than you can complain — just a few swipes, and it’s back to the couch. I promise.

Amazon, amazon.com

It comes with five washable microfiber sleeves.Promising review: “OK I’ll be honest, I ordered this because of the price. After reviewing several other options and having been disappointed with previous dusters I’ve had, I figured why spend more money on something that isn’t going to work? So I ordered the least expensive option but WOW does this little tool rock!!!! It’s very easy to use and clean. It does a fantastic job of cleaning and dusting the blinds and gets ALL of the crud off of them. My blinds haven’t been this clean since the day they were first installed. VERY happy with purchase.” —Amazon ShopperGet it from Amazon for $7.99 (available in two colors).

19.

An adorable wireless earbuds case for never losing your EXPENSIVE Airpods — a big, big fear of��everyone’s? Basically, it’ll relieve that constant ~pit~ in your stomach that they might have gone missing.

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Promising review: “I get so many compliments on this little avocado! It makes it so much easier to carry my AirPods wherever I go, as well.” —Amazon CustomerGet it from Amazon for $9.98.

20.

A monthly bill planner, because this’ll help you manage all your scary expenses instead of avoiding the thought of them and accidentally forgetting about them entirely (a no-no). It helps break everything down (including a debt payment log, daily and weekly expense tracker, and budget worksheet) to make finances feel more maneagble. Phew.

Amazon, amazon.com

Plus it’s dateless, so you can start whenever! Promising review: “I really like this planner. I’ve been saying I’m going to get my life together and get out of debt. So in order to do that, I need to keep track of my budget. When I saw this I said let me just see it’s less then $10 so I’m sure it’s not gonna work for me!!! Boy was I surprised. It’s super big; it has enough space for me to write. The lines are separated very well. It has my budget for the month, then a page for weekly activity. I can’t say enough good things about it. It’s thick not thin like a $1 store book it’s sturdy. Folks let me tell you. Order this and save yourself some money and enjoy this. I can’t wait to order more.” —NiaGet it from Amazon for $6.89.

21.

An on-the-go snack container so you can bring ~full~filling yogurt parfaits to work, instead of settling for the boring pretzels in the break room. It’s spill- and leak-proof, and has two separate compartments to keep food fresh and dry!

Amazon

Promising review: “I loved this container so much that I bought a second the next day after receiving it. I love that I can put my fruit in the bottom of the container and then my granola in the top bowl, and they stay safe, protected, and do not leak. The clips are a secure fit, too.” —Kelly VGet it from Amazon for $9.99.

22.

A multi-purpose spray bottle that’ll not only cut down on waste when you refill this, but also make doing your hair (or chores!) more satisfying. Its mist is continuous *and* super fine, so you pump less and apply just the right amount of water or product to your tresses — aka it’s exactly like going to the hairdresser.

Amazon

You can use this for your hair, gardening, or chores! Promising review: “Love this product; it’s definitely comparable to high-end salon-quality products for a great price. I love the pressurized mist that comes out of the nozzle. As opposed to drowning my hair in water and having to leave the house with extremely wet hair, this product gives me nice, even coverage (just enough to dampen my hair)!” —AliyaGet it from Amazon for $9.99+ (available in three sizes).

23.

A set of bag sealer sticks for making sure your cereal, snacks, pet food, etc. is sealed 👏 tight 👏 and will actually stay fresh. They’re super easy to apply and will end up saving you money when you don’t have to keep replacing less-than-crisp chips.

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And they’re dishwasher-safe!Promising review: “I will never use a regular chip clip again! I received one of this style bag sealer as a promo item from a local company, and it was the greatest design I’d ever seen. They work 100% better than a traditional clip! You can open a bag, seal it with one of these bad boys and open it again two months later and the chips taste exactly the same as day one! Your pantry will never be the same!” —MatthewGet a pack of 16 from Amazon for $8.49 (available in two color combinations).

24.

A heat-resistant glove, because you do NOT need an explanation if you’ve ever burned yourself with your straightener or curling iron. This’ll help you style your mane sans fear of hurting your fingers.

Amazon

Promising review: “It protects my hands well from curling iron and curling wand burns. I am disabled and my hands shake a bit, this helps me curl my hair without hurting myself. I am pretty young so I love anything that helps me do these kind of everyday things I would otherwise have to give up! It helps me not feel-so-different. I like it so much I may get another in the near future so I have one for each hand.” —clynhGet it from Amazon for $4.98.

25.

A non-drip ice cream scoop with a textured surface to release ice cream more easily *and* a handle that lets it stand up straight and collect any melting. Somehow eating ice cream just got even more rewarding.

Amazon

Promising review: “I bought this for my mother and now I want one for myself! It works great! It solves the problems of traditional scoopers and stands up and doesn’t drip. It makes it so much easier when making an ice cream cone! It also has a good grip and easy scoop shape.” —MommaeagleGet it from Amazon for $5.79 (available in two colors).

26.

A drip-catching bib so your bb doesn’t make ~quite~ as big a mess as usual when they manage to get crumbs just about everywhere imaginable. You are so cute, but so MESSY! Now food will be *collected*, not found under the sink three months later.

Amazon

Promising review: “These bibs are my absolute favorite. They’re great quality, clean easily with soap and water, and save my baby from being a total mess after mealtime. The bibs pretty much catch everything because the pocket at the bottom keeps its shape, unlike some of those softer, more fabric-like versions by other companies. I had one pair for my first son, and ordered this pair to make sure I had enough for my second son. I love these bibs so much that I’ve given them as gifts to new moms several times.” —TheBjaminGet a pack of two from Amazon for $7.60 (available in two colors combinations).

27.

A padded console rest that’ll protect your car’s armrest from pet claws, dirt, and sticky fingers (v important for leases) and make driving a little more ~comfortable~.

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You just tie it directly onto your armrest with its bands!Promising review: “I bought this for my Honda CRV to provide protection from my dogs when in the car. I have a small dog that likes sitting on the console, and another large dog that rides with her paws on the console. I definitely didn’t want scratches on it, and this solved the problem perfectly. I leave it on always, and enjoy the soft comfort of it when I’m able to use it.” —SyoungGet it from Amazon for $9.79 (available in 20 styles).

28.

An egg timer for knowing *exactly* when your poached eggs are ready, instead of risking a tragic ending. When placed in the water with the eggs, it turns red to tell you breakfast is SERVED.

amazon.com, amazon.com

It also marks the stages of the eggs’ “readiness”: hard, medium, and soft, so you can take them out when they’re your definition of ~just right~!Promising review: “I am very picky about getting my eggs a certain way for certain uses. The consistency of the yolk, from liquid to gel to dry, is important for different uses. In the past I have had to really watch the clock and temperature of the water. This little drop-in doneness indicator is absolutely tremendous and dead accurate. I am free of the clock!” —A.M. BarnardGet it from Amazon for $6.99.

29.

An over-the-door rod, because this’ll save you so much space if you’re the proud owner of a teeny-tiny apartment with teenier-tinier closets. Or! You can use it to plan out ~tomorrow’s outfit~, or even just to hang drying laundry.

Amazon

Promising review: “My closet can be a mess and I use it to store things I use year-round. What I love about this product is that I’m able to organize what I wear for the week and just have it sit there on my door. It doesn’t get in the way. Definitely would purchase it for anyone who needs a something more to organize their clothes but not another wardrobe.” —Apple JessGet it from Amazon for $9.89+ (available in two colors).

30.

A set of silicone stretch lids to nix wasteful plastic wrap (which doesn’t work as well, anyway) and keep opened jars, cans, or even half-drunk cups airtight and perfectly fresh.

Amazon

They’re dishwasher- and microwave-safe, and heat-resistant up to 450°F.Promising review: “These are awesome! We use canned dog food to mix in for one of our older dogs, and we only use a few tablespoons each time. These are perfect to seal up the can after use to prevent the whole fridge from smelling like dog food. They’re quite simply perfect. I honestly don’t know what I’ve done without these covers before now.” —J.M.C.Get a pack of six from Amazon for $9.97.

31.

An extra-affordable Oral-B electric toothbrush so you can clean your teeth more thoroughly than a regular toothbrush without paying the price. Plus! It’s travel-friendly so you can keep your pearly whites just as polished wherever you go.

Amazon

This bb polishes stains away with ~14,000~ strokes per minute. Promising review: “Great toothbrush. I originally had one with a charger, but it was getting old and I wanted a replacement. I couldn’t find one with a charger but instead found this one that takes a battery, instead. I like this better since I don’t have to find a place to plug up my toothbrush. It uses the same changeable toothbrush head. It feels like it really cleans and polishes my teeth . After using this, I feel like a regular toothbrush is doing nothing at all.” —WillowGet it from Amazon for $4.99.See what won best electric toothbrushes on BuzzFeed Reviews.

32.

A colander spoon that’ll strain water ~while~ you scoop, aka you won’t need to transfer your pasta to the sink (more dishes, more problems). It also works with fried foods, veggies, or really anything that needs to be removed from water!

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It’s nonstick, dishwasher-safe, and heat-resistant up to 392°F. Promising review: “I love this thing! It is quite sturdy and has no issues holding lots of ravioli, tortellini, or any other shaped pasta. It is also great for grabbing veggies out when I blanch them in water, or chicken breasts I have poached. I was injured in an automobile accident and my hands are not in great condition. It has — almost totally — made lifting heavy pots full of liquid, unnecessary. Cooking is therapy for me; and, to find any tools which make it easier for me, is fantastic! I highly recommend this scoop to anyone needing a little help in the kitchen, or who just wants to not have to pull out strainers all of the time.” —Kayce Cawthon McCartyGet it from Amazon for $5.79 (available in four colors).

You upon hearing the rumors that you’re trying to marry your wire-free bra:

NBC

The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.

Check out last month’s edition of ~things under $10 that’ll never stop being useful~ here!

Looking for more great Amazon finds? Check out some of our favorite cheap things to buy on Amazon, some of the weirdest things on Amazon you might actually want, or read through all the rest of our incredible Amazon product recommendations.

Shopping for something specific? Check out BuzzFeed Reviews to find the best things for every budget!

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[wineanddinosaur]

The 12 Best Valentine’s Day Gifts for Wine Lovers

It can be hard to gift for the extra special oenophile in your life, especially when you can’t remember what kind of wine they like or if you think gifting a bottle of wine can be the easy way out.

That’s why we’ve rounded up our favorite gifts at multiple price points so you can easily cover all of your bases.

Bring Me Wine Socks:

These socks are cozy, cheeky, and practical. Good for a laugh, and for an occasional glass of wine being brought to you without you having to ask (because the socks asked for you).

Promising Review: My husband laughed but I got wine! As did my friends!! We now have our little circle of “wine sock” devotees.

See The Socks Now!

Geometric Crystal Wine Decanter

The specially crafted angles of this lead-free crystal decanter cause light to pass through your vino at multiple angles, causing the beams to refract onto your table creating a ruby-colored light show, especially with medium-bodied red wines and fuller-bodied white wines.

Promising Review: Edgy decanter that is very functional and fun

See The Decanter Now!

Italesse Red Wine Glasses (Set of 6)

Valentine’s Day is one of the most popular occasions of the year to enjoy a nice, high-end bottle of wine which calls for the perfect set of high end wine glasses. We fell in love with this stemware while on holiday in Italy. The luxuriously thin bowls and tall profile of these glasses exude elegance like no other. When paired with a vintage Barolo, you’re destined for a night to remember.

Promising Review: Bought these to finally replace our junky glasses from IKEA we bought years ago. They are truly beautiful and our go-to’s for steak dinners at home or when we have people over. They are fragile so they aren’t meant to be thrown around but we haven’t had any break and we run them through the dishwasher.

See The Glasses Now!

Heavyweight Champagne Stopper

Our Editor-in-Chief, Emily Saladino claims this Heavyweight Champagne Stopper has saved her life (and her unfinished bottles of bubbly) on multiple occasions. After testing multiple stoppers through our sparkling wine tastings, we’ve found that this stopper keeps the bubbles and freshness of your favorite Champagnes and Proseccos the longest.

Promising Review: This thing is like magic. It really does keep the bubbly bubbly – like the bottle was just opened! I highly recommend it. The service was super quick also – received it in the mail right away.

See The Stopper Now!

The Ultimate Restaurant Style Corkscrew

When it comes to a corkscrew, at the end of the day the only things that matter are that it opens your bottle quickly, efficiently, and it’s always ready for action. That’s why we’ll always go up to bat for this restaurant style, double hinged corkscrew. Made with stainless steel and a sturdy handle, this corkscrew will become your new best friend opening bottles in five quick turns.

Promising Review: I have had at least a dozen. This the best hand-held one I have ever had. It’s a bit tricky at first, but once you the hang of it, it’s a snap to use.

See The Corkscrew Now!

The Aficionado’s Wine Thermometer

To really taste a wine for all it can offer, it’s extremely important to serve it at the appropriate temperature. More often than not serving wine at room temperature is too warm and straight out of the fridge is way too cold. Thankfully, a wine thermometer is an easy and inexpensive way to keep track of your vino’s temperature. We love this thermometer specifically because it doesn’t use batteries like many others on the market and easily fits on regular 750mL bottles. Plus, you’ll always know what temperature your wine should be at with its handy guidelines.

Promising Review: Originally had another electric and more expensive thermometer but had a lot of battery issues. Bought this on an impulse as a cheap replacement to hold us over and we actually like this one better than the old one we wanted to replace. Always keep it in our drawer ready for trying a special bottle from the cellar.

See The Thermometer Now!

The Expert’s Wine Log

Sure, you can find wine journals many places. This wine journal, though, has beautiful raw construction, a handcrafted leather cover, and fields to document all the important information, including the label. The perfect gift for those hoping to do a deeper dive into wine, and possibly start a wine career.

Promising Review: Very thoughtful design and execution. What a great product – excellent craftsmanship, is as good as it looks and it looks great. Had ordered more for gifts to special people who love wine, feel very confident that they will be thrilled to receive one. A great tool to capture the memories and details of a wonderful experience.

See The Journal Now!

Handmade Ceramic Wine Bottle Coasters

These ceramic bottle coasters—which can hold the base of a standard Bordeaux-style, Burgundy-style or sparkling wine bottle—are a chic way to avoid stains on your table. They come in five gorgeous colors and are hand thrown in New York by one of our favorite potters.

Promising Review: We bought the Blue Rutile coaster and it looks great on our table and keeps the wine rings away! Now we can’t imagine life without it

See The Coasters Now!

Sterling Silver Corkscrew Necklace

Made entire from sterling silver, this necklace lets you keep your love for vino literally close to your heart. It’s the perfect accessory that can easily go with whatever is already in your closet. We love wearing it to wine tastings and family gatherings (AKA the times when the corkscrew is needed more than ever).

Promising Review: Got this as a Christmas gift and I get so many compliments on it. It’s simple and dainty enough that I can wear it with nearly everything.

See The Necklace Now!

The Sommelier Watch (Three Colors)

Wine is all about craftsmanship, timeless elegance, and a bit of show-off-able beauty. So are these sleek, wine-inspired watches – the bands are made from cork and stained with wine. A gorgeous and unexpected gift for anyone who loves wine, or who just likes looking like they appreciate the finer things.

Promising Review: My boyfriend works in a wine shop so I got the gold watch for him with the wine colored band and he absolutely loves it. Arrived super quickly too, so I couldn’t have been happier.

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The Wine Breather Decanter

Much like we need a hot coffee to fully be awake, wine needs a steady hit of oxygen in order to fully release its flavors and aromas. If you’re short on time, this decanter is the most beautiful and efficient way to present your wine at its peak in under two minutes.

Promising Review: This thing works like a charm and is really fun to use.

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Cooler Than Cool Wine Glasses (Set of 2)

There’s nothing worse than drinking warm wine. Look out for yourself/your wine-loving friends by grabbing a set or two of these chilled glasses, which feature a proprietary gel blend to keep the wine cold, and a silicone band so your hands aren’t chilled along with your wine.

Promising Review: Can’t stand having to put ice cubes in wine so I got this as an alternative to when the wine isn’t cold enough. Super easy to use and great for summer.

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The post The 12 Best Valentine’s Day Gifts for Wine Lovers appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/picks/best-valentines-gifts-wine-2019/

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19 Incredible Tricks To Make Waxing Less Painful

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/19-incredible-tricks-to-make-waxing-less-painful/

19 Incredible Tricks To Make Waxing Less Painful

Go forth and be hairless. Minus the excruciating pain.

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Getty Images/iStockphoto koufax73

BuzzFeed Life spoke with makeup artist and esthetician for Bliss Spa Leyda about all of her weird and wonderful tricks for making waxing less painful. Whether you’re going to the salon or you’re more of a DIY wax person, these tips will save you from all kinds of hurt.

1. Start small. Like really, really small.

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“When you’re waxing your legs, start with the ankle. If you’re doing your arm, start with an area the size of a large watch. It’s not easy, especially your first time, and putting wax on your entire leg area at once before removing the wax will make it dry and hard, plus it won’t remove hair from the root,” Leyda says.

2. Take a yoga class before getting a Brazilian.

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“If you want to go the full monty, I suggest being very flexible. Take a yoga class before a Brazilian because you’ll just be more limber. The more flexible you are, the better the waxer can do,” Leyda says. If the process goes faster, you’ll be in pain for less time. WIN.

3. Before waxing your own eyebrows, mark the section with white eyeliner.

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Doing your own eyebrows is no easy feat. Here’s the trick: Grab an eyeliner and mark the areas where you want to apply the wax so you have a guideline. Once you’re finished, remove any excess wax with baby oil.

4. Let the wax cool way down before doing anything to your bikini zone.

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“When you’re talking pubic areas, a little cooler is always better. What’s warm on your hand is hot down there. People apply it way too hot and that can actually take some skin off,” Leyda explained. Proceed with caution.

5. This numbing cream really works.

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“At the spa, we use it for really serious jobs, like laser hair removal, but I swear by this numbing cream. Bring it and put it on 30 minutes before a wax,” Leyda suggests.

Get it here.

6. About 30 minutes prior to a wax, take an over-the-counter pain reliever.

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Whichever over-the-counter pain reliever you usually take — Advil, ibuprofen, aspirin — can be taken about 30 minutes prior to waxing to help minimize the pain.

7. While you’re waxing at home, have something to distract you.

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“Netflix is the best thing. I like to watch Orange Is the New Black while I do my own waxing at home. You don’t even focus on that pain,” says Leyda.

8. Beforehand, use an exfoliating scrub on the areas you’ll be waxing.

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Exfoliating first will get rid of the layer of dead skin that’s likely trapping hairs. You’ll allow the hair to come to the surface, so the hair can be properly pulled from the root on the first try.

9. Let your hair grow to one-quarter of an inch before waxing, and don’t be afraid to ask for a trim if necessary.

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Hair that’s shorter an one-quarter of an inch is too short to be pulled from the root. Anything longer? You’ll just be pulling at the hair without removing it from the source, which means major pain. If your esthetician doesn’t mention a trim, don’t be afraid to ask.

10. Put a lightweight, soothing lotion in your fridge the night before your wax.

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Your armpits will thank you.

11. Ask your esthetician for a cold compress if your skin is extra sensitive.

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“If it’s your first time, ask your esthetician for a cold compress. It can just be cold water right after a wax, or if you’re in a more upscale salon, there may be a soothing rose water toner available too,” Leyda says.

12. Once you decide to jump on the waxing train, you should stop shaving.

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Shaving hair makes it grow in more dense, and the first time won’t be perfect. “Once you wax, you have to commit to waxing. When your hair starts growing back, it won’t grow back as dense, which means waxing will be much less painful.” Leyda says. Your first wax will take off hairs long enough at that point in time during a particular growing cycle.

“By the time you have your fourth consecutive wax without shaving in between, all the hair will be growing on the same pattern and cycle, which means you’ll be getting that super smooth skin you want.”

13. Steer clear of any topical treatment with fragrance or alcohol for at least 24 hours post-wax.

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“Fragranced products contain alcohol, which can dry out and irritate your skin and even make skin peel,” Leyda cautions.

14. During an eyebrow wax at the salon, you shouldn’t be sitting completely upright.

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“Ideally, you want to be laying down or angled backwards while you have your eyebrows waxed at the salon, otherwise you can get wax on your eyelashes or other parts of your eye, and you’ll have to use a ton of oil to get that off,” Leyda says.

15. If you feel awkward or uncomfortable making conversation with your esthetician, grab a magazine.

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Waxing can cause some anxiety, which is only made worse by the awkward positions you have to get into. If talking to your esthetician just gives you a case of the awkward sweats, grab a magazine or your phone to distract you instead. They’ll understand.

16. Have realistic expectations about the at-home products you buy from the drugstore.

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You probably won’t get a perfect full leg or Brazilian wax unless you go to a salon. However, at-home strips for the face can be great for small areas like the lip and chin. Leyda suggests heating the strips with a blow dryer for an ideal temperature.

Leyda loves these Bliss Facial Wax Strips.

17. After your wax, avoid tight clothing, scented lotion, and direct sun exposure for about 24 hours.

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“Body lotion that contains alpha hydroxy acid can tingle and burn, and a tanning bed or direct sun exposure will be nothing but irritation. Freshly waxed skin is more likely to burn, so be extra careful for about 24 hours after waxing,” Leyda suggests.

18. During your at-home wax, use one hand to hold skin taut and the other hand to pull the wax strip…especially if you’re doing a Brazilian.

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For those daring enough to take on doing a Brazilian wax at home, “You have to be laying down. Put one hand on your thigh, holding the skin taut and pulling towards the floor. One hand should be pulling the skin taut and in the opposite direction of the area, and the other hand should be pulling up to remove the wax,” Leyda says. The same goes for any other area you’re waxing on your own. Use both hands to work together and you’ll have much better (less painful!) results.

19. Never get waxed right before or during your period.

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“You’re super sensitive from about five days before through the end of your period. Avoid any and all waxing at this time if possible,” Leyda says. After your period you’ll be fine — in fact, a woman’s pain tolerance is highest about three to four days after her period.

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/augustafalletta/19-incredible-tricks-to-make-waxing-less-painful?b=1&loreal_feed=1&loreal_username=beauty