#it's another to become so focused on joking about a name that it has eclipsed any meaningful discussion about the character themself

[ineedarealitycheck]

I naively thought the whole Gaming (the character) and gaming (the leisure activity) situation was gonna get a response of "Huh, that's going to be an awkward learning curve for English-only language speakers" then chuckle lightly and move on. But no, I forgot the internet Does Not Do That.

[courtorderedcake]

Majestically Too Far Beyond : CSSNS 2020

It’s finally here! Yaaaay! Here’s my @cssns​ for 2020, Majestically Too Far Beyond, title based on the Poem written by Komal Kapoor. You can read my explanation of how this mess all got started Here. Art is by @kmomof4​ and I threw in some too for fun. 

Summary :  Emma Swan has never been that type of girl, you know, the one that cries and sinks into a pint of ice cream after a break-up. She's never ever cared about anyone other than completely out of survival, but then came Neal, and then came the final big break up with someone maybe she sort of kind of loved. So now she is one of those girls who are homeless, living with her adopted brother and his wife at their farm in a long abandoned Victorian keeper's home, desperately trying to save to get her own place while working her difficult government job and as a merc witch on the side.  When a desperate Witch calls on her to do a spell, it's all bad news - but then said Witch revealed a mountain of gold coins, and whimpered that Emma is her only hope. How can she not be a bad ass magic savior for this poor soul? All seems to be well, until the consequences are suddenly very real.  Killian may be a Demon, a fallen Angel that now delights in the practice of revenge, but first and foremost he's a gentleman. Sort of.  Especially when his ruddy Angel brother is focused on bureaucracy and keeping mankind out of chaos, while Killian barely keeps his denizens as safe as he can in a world that wants Demons dead. Witches and Warlocks use them for parts, Werewolves see them as a threat, Angels mostly still hold on to the ancient feud regardless of their treatise, Fae stay chaotic neutral, Vampires don't care for others affairs - it's a perilous world where hate crimes happen without consequence. When Killian goes above to plead for more safety laws in the metropolis of Hyperion Hills, the city that lies over a major portal to hell, he does not expect to meet a council that the elemental five sit on. He especially doesn't expect that the council would ever take him seriously in his campaign for demon safety. Regina, Snow, Ariel, Elsa, and Belle seem dead set on making it their pet project - each for their own very different reasons. Especially when they bring up hiring a tempestuous security consultant, Emma Swan. When they adjourn, he can say that he is optimistically apprehensive. An optimistic Demon never leads to good things, unless by good things you mean throwing back rum while chasing a pretty woman for plundering. He's unsure of what to expect when challenged to do shot for shot by a mysterious blonde Witch, who didn't care who (or what) he is, but he does like a challenge. Too much in fact, the challenge raising the stakes, because from there on it becomes a blur, and yeah, he's bloody well in it now. The idea of a contract sounds fantastic when they stumbled into the strange tower, half naked and wanting. It's the ritual she does instead that he should have been paying attention to. So, maybe now he's missing a hand, and has only the vaguest idea of what happened from the mess of blood he's woken up to, his and someone else's, a mirror's accursed magic the only thing to tell him what took place: he's a prisoner until someone lets him free… And a woman that he’s positive did not exist in his life yesterday, who just happens to not only be a Witch but a complete stranger, is pregnant with his child. 

Rated E, but really falls in at more of a M. Fluffy angst with some adult themes and hinted undertones.  READ ON AO3 HERE.

Chapter 1 - Long ago, eclipses were feared as well:

To say that the Jones 'Brothers' had been fighting since time began, was not an understatement, but also not exactly truthful. They had actually been fighting before recorded time, and before there was even a concept of the perception of anything besides the aether or eternity.

That's why he'd fallen, actually. Loss was a powerful motivation, enough even to question the utmost Authority - and the Authority despised questioning. Fighting was in the nature of the divine Celestials, as it seemed, and in Her infinite curiosity that She defined as 'Wisdom', God had let Lucifer burn too brightly. Their war was a lover's jealous quarrel turned violent. 

Although Liam was created moments before Killian, they were brothers (as it were) even amongst a host of angels, and they were close regardless of their stubborn spats. They fought over the world and its workings, Liam given a flaming sword while Killian was given books. They fought over knowledge of the divine arts, arguing whether humans were worthy of the Arcane. They fought over Killian's love of a mortal woman, and his questioning of commandments. 

They fought over Killian standing behind Lucifer, and Liam fought Killian right before he fell. In some ways, it was Liam's own hand that pushed Killian, but in his last angelic act, Killian forgave his brother. 

While Earthborne and some remnant Angels believed Demons were not capable of love, they were of course wrong. Demons loved, lost, and forgave just as any others. Even after the schism, even after years of passive aggressive pettiness between both sides, Demons were still seen as wayward, dark, demented creatures. Angels had done little to fight this stereotype, instead reveling in their continued status as goodwill ambassadors. 

Even their name amongst mortals was a cosmic joke, the Creator and her lover-made-antagonist too long gone to bother with proper names. They were Angels or Demons to some cultures as humans grew on God's abandoned project, while others called them by their new names. 

The Angel Diana was called a Goddess alongside Hecate, Freya, Gabriel, Uriel, and many others. The Demons Zeus, Odin, Loki, Hades, and Poseidon happily took on roles that suited their carnal needs. Angels mixed with mortals along with Demons, God's secret seeds of elemental magics taking life along beside them as Druids, Fae, and Elementals.  Some of the Celestials even birthed life as their lost parents had, Demons begetting Demons, Angels begetting Angels, and everything or anything in between. 

Humans gained magical prowess as the world changed, Witches, Druids, Warlocks, Mortismals, and Mesmerels becoming the norm for human bloodlines. 

Still, Demons were given less, all because God had cursed them irrevocably before disappearing with Lucifer into the abyss. They were cellularly different now than any of the Angels they had once been, a yoke around their neck that they could be forced to obey. Like Angels, they could be worshipped, called, trapped, or contracted even as their powers and bodies twisted into the curse stained strangeness God graced them with. They were looked on with disgust, pity, horror, and anger for it despite their best attempts.

Which was why his sodding Ponce of a brother working as an Angel ambassador for a Prince of Hell was so important - and so bloody frustrating. 

It wasn't as if being a Prince of Hell wasn't stressful enough - his people always under siege or afraid of some Witch summoning them to place a brand, then using them as a charcuterie board - no. It was that his brother was a baked potato when it came to convincing the public they were not what millennia of ingrained hatred had established Demons as. 

Bosch had died before Killian could uppercut him, regardless of his depiction of Liam as a trumpeting ferret bird or the even less flattering version of Killian. Dante had been another great PR stunt his brother had botched miserably. The Rings of Hell weren't even used, Lucifer gone before he could put God's plans for punishment into place. Now as a museum and reenactment park, it was a popular attraction that helped generate funds for the denizens that lived in the spacial plane that surrounded it, but Dante's review had been swayed by Liam taking him into The Kingdom right after. How could Hell ever live up to the paradise God herself had planned for humans? Only Cedar Point, Busch Gardens, Disney, or Universal Studios could come close as far as themed parks. It was a complete disaster. 

This newest idea of Killian sitting on the board of Hyperion Heights to work with the world's premier intersectional coven, 'StoryBrooke', was another terrible idea in the making, and Killian had no qualms letting his brother know it.

"This is absolutely ridiculous Liam," Killian gritted out, itching under the glamor that made him look mortal. Being confined in a skin suit had his molecules vibrating so loudly he could hear his canines, starlight and cosmic fire sending pinpricks of goose flesh down the dark hairs of his arms and legs. Wearing this was torture enough without Liam staring at him in disdain, his own heavenly image unblemished. Even his halo was a polished gold around his fat head. "While I am a dashing rapscallion in my original skin, don't you think it's bad form for them to see me like this instead of how I actually look? Isn't the point of this to show that even if we're not as pretty as your lot, we're still beings that deserve respect?"

Liam grunted, rolling his eyes. Blue fire from explosions of stars and galaxies lit in mirrors of Killian's own, but framed by rosy cheeks and tawny curls instead of moving shadow, a ghoulish pallor, and dark hair the color of ink or raven's feather. The Angelic glamor contained the haze of darkness that moved like smoke around him, the length of his fingers and claws, and made his flesh look pale but not tinted the color of the universe's light. It did not hide his horns (remnants of shattered halo) or his twitching tail if someone chose to leave eyes on him too long, but that was another Demonic burden to bear. 

"First impressions, little brother. Even the most progressive Witch is still a Witch. I'd rather them see you like this instead of wondering if you truly need all your giblets."

Killian swallowed hard, nodding once before grumbling, "Younger brother. Younger."

"Go over your notes again. You'll need to be your nauseatingly charming self for this, especially if they bring the males in their midst," Liam asked of him, and Killian looked out the dark windows of the car as his tail moved in agitation. 

"Regina. Head of the Coven, Witch and Mortismal that inherited her throne from her mother. Began the integration method and broke away from the Misthaven Coven to create the StoryBrooke one," Killian intoned. 

"Right. She's a tough nut too, and her ghosts do the most of her dirty work. She's not someone to cross unless you want your chairs stacked to the ceiling every morning by some bloody poltergeist." 

"Aw, well, I'm unfortunately haunted by you already, I doubt a poltergeist could do more damage." Killian slanted a look at his brother, who gave an annoyed huff as his pure white feathers ruffled. Killian was thankful in part that he did not have wings at all times, even if the trade off was painful. "While Regina is the head of the Coven, the head of the Council is Elsa Frost of the Frost twins. She's a direct descendant of the Giant Ice Sorceresses with powerful magic, but her passion is creating legislation for Hyperion Heights. Her sister Anna is the family's public relations face, and runs their fashion empire, Arendelle Designs with her Druid husband."

"Good. Good, tell me about Ariel Poisson."

"Siren and Mermaid, with four years on the council. Made history as the first water Elemental to sit on the council, beating the long seated Witch, Ursula, by a large margin. Opponents argue that her father's position as King of the seas and his dominion over fair weather and fishing made voters nervous to not cast ballots for her. Her campaign slogan was 'Part of your World', which could be beneficial to my campaign." 

"Right. Snow Blanchard?" 

"Would-be heir to the Misthaven Coven who ended its elitist reign by breaking tradition and leaving, sending them into chaos." Killian smirked. "She sounds like someone who I could get along with."

"She gets along with everyone except her family, which is more than normal it would seem," Liam replied back, and Killian snorted out a chuckle. 

"Druid, Elf, and Green Witch. Runs a high profile herbal apothecary chain Enchanted Forest Supplies, focused on holistic medicinals, herbs, and spices. Nolan Farms is a subsidiary that sells produce to the Heights, which is her husband's 'pet' project."

"Watch yourself, brother," Liam warned. "While you might get away with that if it's just the Witches, if David and Ruby sit in today you'll find that will not stand."

"Ah, yes. Ruby Reddings and David 'Charming' Nolan. You only circled that they are Werewolves in red ink everywhere you could. David is Snow's husband, and her lead farm hand. Ruby is Snow's cousin who introduced the two. Ruby is currently in a high profile relationship with your colleague, Inspector Wolfe, and they both are very active in pack politics. Many are betting they will create their own pack if the current Alphas do not abandon some of the more ancient doctrines. Nothing new there."

"Don't forget Livre and Fa."

"Belle Livre, Witch turned Vampire, runs a community literacy foundation and bookstore chain. Known ally to Demon rights. Soft spoken but brutally intelligent. Introduced a synthetic blood that allows for daytime living via plant cells collaborating with Enchanted Forest, which made history 6 years ago," Killian listed. "Mulan Fa, Vampire. Cultural Development head of the Heights, and curator of The Hyperion Heights Museum of Art, History, Science, and Culture. Teaches part time at Hyperion Heights University as an adjunct professor. Fa is married to a Fae Elf, Merida Ursa."

"Good. That's as far as we know besides the whole Swan fiasco, which is not to be brought up."

"What Swan fiasco?" 

"Oh, little brother. If you had done your research outside of the profiles I gave you, you would know all about the criminal history of the black and heartless sheep within the Misthaven and StoryBrooke covens. It's better off that you don't know."

"Er. Well. Alright. I didn't look into them because I don't bloody well care about their lots as long as we get protection. There was another slaying this weekend. A Lower Demon."

"I'm aware. Did you know her?" 

"Not really, but that's not enough either. I owe my people more. The other Lords of Hell are fine telling Demons to stay below and never use their name, which is fine for the new blood. It's the old, the weak, and the abused that are at risk."

"Careful, Killian. Your lust for vengeance will never be welcomed by mortals."

"I'm well aware Liam. They like my kind for an entirely different kind of lust."

"Could you please not." Liam sighed, sitting back against the seat. After a moment, his brother spoke quietly. "There was another attack as well, this time in broad daylight in Camelot Town. The Anti-Integration Movement has claimed responsibility."

"Of bloody course they have!" Killian hissed, clenching his fists. He pinched the bridge of his nose, grimacing. "Brilliant. Just absolutely marvelous -" 

"They were going to run a story in the Times. I managed to block it for now, but we need a sympathetic writer on the inside, or we risk them running another story with their bias."

"I have a guy. I'll reach out, he's an old school Warlock who I've worked with in the past on push back. What's their excuse this time?" 

"They said that the Succubus was, quote, 'asking for it by the way she was dressed'."

Nausea rose in Killian's throat, and he swallowed it down with bitter practice. "I wasn't aware that how someone dressed meant their lives were not only void, but taking pieces of them was fine as well."

"We know they're being funded well, and we will get arrests as soon as possible. This won't be forever, Killian."

"That's easy for you to promise when this has been my - our forever." Killian bit out, glaring at his feet.

The car came to a stop, the driver opening the door to let them out. Killian moved briskly up the steps of the council building, as Liam followed behind. They moved through the lobby with an easy flash of Liam's ID that Killian scoffed at, moving into the elevator. 

"After that display, I'm going drinking after this," Killian gritted through his teeth. 

Liam blinked, straightening his tie in the door's polished reflection. "What display? They were nice."

"Exactly. If I came here alone, I would have been in that security line for an hour." 

Liam rolled his eyes, taking down his halo to polish the golden ring. "You absolutely exaggerate how you're treated. Not everyone is out to get you, especially when you look like this. Give others a break."

"I'll give myself a break after this with as much rum as I can safely consume, instead."

The doors pinged open to reveal a small atrium, dark wood flooring in stark contrast to the birch tree covered walls. A secretary stood behind a rounded desk against the far wall, motioning for them to sit. 

"They'll be with you in a moment," she offered, glancing at them with a thin smile. Killian could practically taste her distrust as he scratched behind his ear. Liam swatted at him lightly in a bid to get him to stop, both of them tense when the doors finally opened to reveal a petite woman dressed in a powder blue skirt and blazer. 

"Come in gentleman. The council will see you now." She smiled icily. His brother stood, his feathers slightly puffed in an indication of his own nervousness. 

Killian followed a second later, walking with them as they made forced, but pleasant conversation all the way into the boardroom. 

Women sat at a long table that curved slightly, facing their own small table similar to a courtroom. He was reminded of the tribunals in the old days when law had begun, but the courtiers were far different than the strange group of women scrutinizing them. 

To his surprise, the majority of them seemed actually curious instead of repulsed or bored. 

"The council recognizes Liam Jones and Killian… Jones. These are your chosen surnames, correct? And you identify as… brothers?" 

"Yes," Liam stated firmly with a curt nod. Killian watched from his peripheral as his shoulder muscles twitched, his wings held stiffly upright to keep them from the floor. 

Killian nodded, careful to keep his tail curled around his legs. The skin suit itched as it clung to him, not abated by his attempt to sit more casually. 

"Interesting," remarked the dark haired witch at the far right. A nameplate sat in front of her, marking her as Regina. He wondered idly if her stare was due to the blood on his hands only an eternal existence could bring. 

"You are here to ask for help in creating safety measures and a potential council commitment to Demon rights, correct?" Ariel, a fiery haired lass with a heart face, asked. 

"Our major point of concern is the influx of hate groups that seem to fall in line with smuggling operations and planned violence," Killian said slowly. Attention snapped to him, and he brought up the slide presentation he had prepared. "We have had some luck stopping shipments and arresting bit players, but we can't find the heads of these operations."

"You can't find them, or you are barred from digging deeper?" Mulan asked, and he chuckled darkly. 

"The latter, I'm afraid. We have consistently come to the same dead end again and again. I'm sure I don't have to explain to you ladies how difficult a foe powerful covens behind corporate entities are." He let a grimace creep onto his face, and saw the majority of the women nod in acknowledgement. 

"This could make many enemies for us, if approached in the wrong way." Belle stated quietly. "Specifically with our good friends in the Storybrooke Coven."

Snow nodded, exchanging a bitter look with her. "We may need a professional from our coven, but she's unable to get clearance without special notation."

"Oh? Who is this?" Liam asked. 

Elsa and the rest of the coven smiled in varying degrees of fondness. "The best in the business, and in my Coven. If you need to find someone, Emma Swan can always find them, and she's good at criminal magical activities. She knows the system, knows how and where to hide, and where to seek."

They'd found what the coven wanted, and their stake in the venture. Killian caught Liam's face falling, his eyes narrowing into slits. 

"You can't be serious. Involving Swan in this after -" 

"That was all a misunderstanding, and was blown completely out of proportion. We have long held up our end of the blame and accountability, while Misthaven has shirked theirs in the name of slandering her." Elsa steepled her fingers. "If you desire the best, which I assume is why you are here, you need to rehab not only Demons’ image, but hers as well. She should be sitting here with us."

Liam tried in vain to tip the scale back in their favor, his face going red. "We'll consider this as part of our negotiations."

"Negotiations? Liam, you are a detective. You should have deduced by now that you have no leverage. You have only decisions to make." Regina closed her planner, regarding them with her dark gaze. "So, make them quickly, before our patience wanes."

Killian bit back a laugh at Liam’s sudden blustered stuttering. These witches were good, and as the meeting ran on for hours he realized just how much liquor he would need to recover. 

 "Well that went well." 

Liam’s sour expression and slumped shoulders were just visible in his peripheral, even as his feathers were still quite literally ruffled. He huffed out a noise of disapproval, too vexed to even reply back. 

"Aye to that, brother." Licking his lips, they stepped into the cool dusk air. "I'm going for that drink, are you…?" Killian glanced at Liam, who shook his head with annoyance. 

"Seriously? You really -" 

"Really shouldn't what Liam?" Killian smiled, venom leaking into his tone. "Go get drunk in a town that would rather pretend I don't exist or sell me in a fine powder to the nearest bidder? I think I'll be okay, although the concern is duly noted."

He turned on his heel, his glamor falling away in a puff of smoke. The air hit his itchy, overheated skin, his tail whipping around in sharp, agitated flicks. 

"Take care of yourself, little brother! No need to be a self destructive bastard. We lost a battle, not the war!" Liam called after him, stepping into his sleek car. Killian snorted. 

Hailing a cab with some difficulty, the driver asked where he was headed with the same slight resignation he was used to for his kind. 

"A bar, Demon friendly please. Some place without swill."

The driver nodded, dropping him at a dimly lit corner of the city. A red neon sign spread crimson light along the sidewalk, soft light also spilling out the doors accompanied by loud guitar. Looking up, the looping, swirled lettering made him smirk. 'The Jealous Flask' was as good a place as any in his neck of the underworld woods. 

The inside was smoky, deep red damask wallpaper paired with dark, pitch stained wood panels, booths, and bartop. The liquor selection was displayed neatly, unlike the few early patrons sitting scattered around. The jukebox played warbly rock music, some punchy chords and an easy to memorize refrain. 

'one two three four, can I have a little more, five six seven eight nine ten, I love you' 

The bar stools were empty, and Killian slung himself onto one, the bartender nodding his head by way of a greeting. 

"Rum, neat," Killian stated, pointing to his preferred vice. The bartender did not stop polishing the glass in his hand, but the bottle floated down gently, pouring itself into a tumbler before the glass set itself down in front of Killian. "Thanks, mate."

The bartender nodded again, continuing his work with the aid of his magic. People began to trickle in as the time ticked forward, a witch or two eyeing him suspiciously, vampires playing pool in the front, a group of young werewolves forcing change into the jukebox to get edgier music playing through the speaker system. The Clash crooned out words against the Fae Queen ruling over greater Eld, the pack jumping around excitedly and thrashing their heads back and forth. By this time Killian had moved to the far curve of the bar, his glass refilled to the point of the bottle sitting next to him like a patient date. There were still no other Demons in his presence. It shouldn't have surprised him, shouldn't have even made him angry with the amount of violence they were privy to, but he burned away the emotions with the alcohol flowing down his throat. 

A soft touch on his shoulder caught his attention, and he turned with a growl. It died in his throat when large eyes met his, blonde curls falling in front of her eyes in loose tendrils. 

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bother you," she stammered, biting her lip. Pointing to a drink that was clearly not his, umbrella and all, she continued. "I was trying to reach my drink. It’s gotten crowded and I thought, I mean, I am sorry I wasn't trying to -" 

"Aye." He nodded, throwing back his drink. "S'alright lass. I'm sorry, I s'pose I'm just a bit out of place here."

She smiled, blushing. "Yeah, I uh, I get that. I haven't seen you around before."

"First time here. I was in the neighborhood for business." He poured himself more, and to his surprise she pushed and elbowed her way to sit next to him. 

"Business?" Her eyes were curious while her fingers toyed with the umbrella in her drink. "Should I be concerned?" 

It was clearly teasing, and Killian felt himself loosening up around her. She seemed to read him well, or at least the alcohol was working. "Not any of the good kind, I'm afraid." He grinned with a wink. 

"Ah, so we're just ships passing in the night?" She leaned in and he could smell the floral and herbal scent of her, her eyelashes batting coquettishly as she sipped her drink in his space. 

"Passing closely, I hope," he murmured. His heart raced; it had been ages since any mortal had shown interest in him that was mutual. 

His head spun as she met him drink for drink, hand unsubtly creeping higher up his hip. 

"Would you be opposed to… Maybe, I don't know… getting out of here?" 

"Are you saying you would fancy a nightcap, lass?" She smiled from under her lashes while biting her lip, and his heated blood grew hotter. 

"Perhaps." She stood with grace as she extended a hand to him. "My place is a quick and easy teleportation spell away from here, and my bed doesn't require any sort of magic outside of what I can do with my tongue." 

Killian hesitated, her golden hair in the glow of the lights making her seem to shimmer. "I don't even know your name -" 

"Eloise. It's Eloise." She pulled him up, letting him stumble into her body. Her lips met his, and soon he was pulling her closer as their mouths slanted across one another's in hunger. She bit his lip and he felt the tightness that had bloomed in his belly spread fire down his spine. 

"Lead the way, love," he whispered huskily, grinding into her. 

She smiled broadly, the world shifting until he was in her dimly lit home. A lone window twinkled starlight, moon huge outside as it hung in the sky. Her tongue slid past his lips, the bitter herbal taste overwhelming while the world shifted again, this time pulling him apart. 

 In a perfect world, Emma Swan would not be doing anything remotely close to what she was currently debating doing. It truly wasn't her fault; it fell on Neal and his stupid family if anyone was to blame, and his stupid coven with their stupid leader. She should have known back then it had been a set up, should have known that Neal was a fucking liar. How many times did the same drawn out plot have to play out? Apparently, too many, considering she had still warmed his bed until a week ago. 

This time it was final. Emma wouldn't accept him back when Neal slithered out from under the rock he had his affair in. She wouldn't be charmed by his smooth talking silver tongue, and if he so much as breathed near her, she would take another five years for breaking his smarmy Fae nose. Final. It had to be final. 

But finality meant certain conditions had to be met, especially if she was to ward him away. For one, the beautiful loft that belonged to Neal in the Heights downtown could definitely not be her base of operations any more. Neither could the various in between places she found where Emma could grieve until he took her back, damaged goods and all. No more hotel rooms, no more abandoned apartments, no more warehouses, vacation rentals, or quiet empty offices. She had to get her own place, and it had to be able to handle her particularly finicky magic. Neal's place wasn't great for her particular practice, but the view had been killer enough to ignore it. Neal's fortune had meant she didn't need to work, and with her record (or, as his coven would sneer, 'notoriety') that was just as well. 

Working added a wrinkle to her life; she would have to find somewhere that allowed her enough space for her magic to keep her employed. That would require a hefty chunk of gold - if she was lucky. The prices in the downtown area were steep, only high profile Witches, Warlocks, Fae, and Celestials could afford accommodation that close to the capitol buildings and Ley Lines. Initially when Emma had glanced through the apartment listings on the bulletin board, she had almost had a panic attack at the amount of gold they demanded. 

Her brother David, blessings be, had been her knight in shining armor. There was a large Victorian home that lay in shambles at the edge of their farm lands, its beautiful scalloped details in need of paint, and the gutters growing weeds as thick as her forearm. But, it was within her budget if she could get the down payment placed before the scheduled demolition. She put what she had down to stall as much as she could, but it was not enough in the least. 

One big job was all she needed. One big job that she could cash out on. A dip of her toes back into the waters of peddling illegal magic, just quickly in and out without a splash. 

She didn't need any more jail time, that was for certain. 

Putting out the word she was available in the whisper market was always dangerous, but listening in was free and without a snag if you were smart. 

Emma heard tell of a desperate woman willing to give a truckload full of gold to the right Witch who could perform delicate, esoteric, deeply Arcane and forbidden magics. Luckily for both of them, that's what Emma excelled at. 

She had always been good at her craft, and her magical workings were beyond powerful. She could do things that other practitioners only dared to dream of, if they could even conceive it. It was why Neal had kept her around, and why his coven's dislike would melt away if she said she would consider joining. 

(If she did that around Yulesmas for better gifts, was it really so bad?) 

The request itself was intriguing, the woman herself a Witch that could not do the spell alone. She wanted an equivalent exchange of unbreakable magical bonds, which while tricky, was not forbidden in most circumstances. The offer was too good to pass up on, but Emma didn't like leaving things to complete chance. 

Cue her sister-in-law, Snow. If anyone could throw runes, read the winds, divine from the mundane, and not keep any of it a fucking secret, it was Snow. 

Emma knocked on their cheery red door in the early morning, which must have been a surprise to Snow considering she was half dressed in business wear. She pulled up her stockings in a one footed hop, motioning for Emma to come in as she balanced the phone receiver against her neck. The coiled cord spun around her, and she groaned loudly. 

"Yes, Regina, I know. I'll be there, I'm literally - it's 2 hours away. I will be there in thirty minutes at latest, but - Well, yes, Emma just walked in." Snow gestured at a chair, and Emma sat, looking at her with an eyebrow raised. "Yes, I know it's early for her. I know. Uh huh. Yes. We will definitely put her on the table; it's absurd not to, considering - yes, I would love to talk to you about this in person as I've said - alright. Yes. Okay then, buh-bye." 

Sighing, Snow twirled, untwisting herself from the phone cord. She smoothed down her pencil skirt and blouse before looking straight at Emma with a curious stare. Her mouth twitched with annoyance as she spoke. 

"Now. To what do I owe the pleasure? I have a meeting with Celestials shortly, so." She waved a hand indicating the clock in the background. Turning to the counter, she opened up a cookie jar and removed a rolled cannabis cigarette, putting it between her lips and lighting it. 

Emma swallowed, watching the petite woman slide the purple lighter back in its space on their counter. "I just need you to divine something for me. A situation, with a woman who wants me to… to uh, do something."

Snow rolled her eyes, narrowing them to glare at Emma. "We are bringing you up as collateral in our meeting today, trying to get you a seat where you belong - on the council," Snow hissed. She pinched the bridge of her nose, taking a breath. 

"Please?" Emma asked innocently, batting her eyelashes for good measure. 

Snow sighed. "Alright. Picture the situation and the woman."

Emma focused on the description, the spellwork requested, the woman's pleas. She could feel Snow's magic engulf her, and the fuzziness that came with it as she wove threads out into the natural universe, time and space sending her back answers. 

A moment passed, and the feeling abruptly stopped as Snow shook her head. 

"This doesn't feel right," Snow said, taking a drag of her blunt. She exhaled, the thick smoke swirling into the shape of birds that dove through the air. Emma coughed, waving a hand in front of her face. "That woman… I don't know. She feels off."

Emma frowned, petulant that the answer was negative. "She's a Witch, and in trouble." 

"Have you rolled your runes?" Snow began to pull on her loafers, gathering her things. 

Emma chewed her lip. She had divined, or tried to, but had not found a concrete result. "Yeah, and they said it's… Questionable, but the end result leaves all parties happy. Tarot said basically the same thing."

Snow let out a little twittering laugh, pulling her purse up on her shoulder. "And how does Neal feel about it?"

"Neal doesn't need to feel any way about it. I… We… I broke it off." Emma looked at her shoes, then idly inspected the counters formica. "Forever this time." 

"Oh. Is that why you're here so early?" Snow's eyes went wide, a hand covering her mouth. "Oh, Emma, honey. I'm so sorry, I've just been under so much stress with Regina and this council. Wait, where are you staying? Oh no - are you homeless!? You mean it, you're never going back to that creep?"

"Never," Emma said firmly, even as her voice caught. "I'll find a place though, Snow. Don't worry." 

"So you are homeless, oh Emma, if I wasn't late - no. No. You know, I'll call Regina and cancel it, you need me more than -" 

"No, well, I mean -" Emma shook her head. "No. I'll stay here tonight if I have to, but you need to get to your meeting. I don't need Regina's wrath on top of everything else."

"You know you can stay here with us as long as you need, oh, Emma, I wish you had told me -" 

"I don't want to stay here. I can't work here, and I love you guys but you both are gross with your lovey dovey hippie -" 

"I get it, I get it." Snow grimaced. 

"So yeah, I need the money. I can't stay here, I need my own place… I put a tiny deposit on that Victorian down the road, but I need the full down payment to keep it." Emma shrugged. 

"The house at the --- Emma, that place is a breeze away from being condemned!" 

"No it's not," Emma groaned, rubbing her temple. "It's got good bones, and character. It just needs some… help."

"Well. I mean…" Snow hesitated, heading towards the door, as Emma followed. "Alright then. I'm just warning you, I get a terrible vibe from that woman and I could cancel this today, we could work out a plan. We have the money from the harvest. You could work for us or with David and help us with the roll outs in exchange for a loan. I'm organized, but the help would be appreciated if you're living so close… especially since I'm making sure that house is safely remodeled for you. I don't want you to end up with the roof falling on you or some gas line exploding." 

"You worry way too much, Snow."

"I hear the future through nature, and it's generally terrifying. Nature is terrifying. Excuse me for being cautious, and wanting to help you out."

Emma laughed as they walked out the door together, Snow rummaging in her bag for lipstick which she quickly applied. "Yeah well, you're also smoking weed so potent it could put an elephant to sleep. I don't want a loan from you."

"I'm not an elephant, Em. I'm an Elf. It'll take more than this to knock me on my ass." She smiled, extending a hand to squeeze Emma's shoulder. "Be careful, okay? No repeats."

"That wasn't -" Emma protested, but Snow cut her off with a sharp look. "Yeah, alright. 

"Good. I'll see you tonight, you're coming for dinner. No buts." Snow grinned, before disappearing with a puff of periwinkle smoke. 

Emma groaned, kicking dirt as she stalked away towards her new potential home. 

 In the final days before moving from the small basement apartment Emma rented, the dingy, unused, bare studio finally found some decoration in chalk outlines, herbs, and a large bubbling cauldron. It hadn't ever been a home or remotely close to one when Neal presented a better option, the bed untouched and unmade. It reminded Emma more of her prison cell than anything else, which offered a strange duality of comfort mixed with dread. It was fitting that she would meet to do this ritual here. 

Gothel arrived promptly for their 10 am arranged meeting in a well worn taupe cloak. She looked as desperate as the correspondences between them indicated, but Emma resolved to get this over with as quickly as possible. They shared a nod in the form of hellos, then Emma pointed to the cauldron.

"Let's begin, shall we?" Emma asked, and Gothel drew back her cloak to reveal her tired and gaunt looking face. 

"Yes. Let's. Your payment, with more upon completion." Gothel dropped a large purse on the counter, Emma immediately grabbing it and checking the contents. It was real, her heart soaring as she shoved it in her bag. 

"So, you are to give me a token of your will, usually blood, an animal you raised, or something that's valuable to you . Something you care about, that you are tied to that a severing will make you -"

"I give you the life of my first child," Gothel interrupted. 

Emma's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh." Biting her lip, she brushed back her braid. "That's… That's super Illegal. I…" 

"You wanted something heavy, you got it. There's a reason why I came to you; you have a reputation for doing things quietly. The reason you chose me is because you need the coin. Now, my terms. I know you provide healing. I want to keep myself young and strong - youthful immortality. Grant me this." The grin on her face unsettled Emma, Snow's warning in her mind. Nevertheless, the satchel of gold meant a secured home.

"Um. Alright. Are you sure, the life of your firstborn? That's a ways off, and the strength won't happen until -" 

"Do it. Do it now, I know the spell will be enacted when payment is due. I'm well studied - Breaking a bond with a child, specifically your first, will grant me the power I need. I know that I can't do this spell myself either, so here I am."

Emma gulped. "Okay. Let me get the texts."

Emma returned with her copper cauldron, pile of books, and spell components. Gothel's grin grew wider, her eyes gleaming at the sight of the tongues, eyes, crushed butterflies, and other more macabre ingredients the spell required. 

Feeling a low tug in her gut that something was wrong, Emma backed away from the altar. The other Witch seemed to shimmer, slightly in alarm, a glamor of some sort possibly covering her skin. Feeling even more unsettled, Emma shook her head. 

"I can't do this, listen -" 

"Please. Please you must, I need this to escape a curse. It's blood magic, almost unbreakable and impossible to escape on my own. Please." Emma heard no lies in her speech. "I admit that I have not been entirely truthful. While I was able to send you the gold easily, I am trapped, held against my will. I can only project myself to you. I was afraid to tell you, because I am desperate to rid myself of this curse." When no lies continued to register, Emma felt a deep sense of pity for the other witch. A blood magic binding was no joke; someone truly must have hated the poor woman. 

"Fine," Emma said, throwing her hands up. Gothel perked up slightly, hope in her eyes. Throwing the ingredients in the cauldron, a shimmering mist roiled over the edge as she spoke ancient words and stirred in the shape of long unused runes. Adding bones that melted in soapy bubbles and stirring with a long Pegasus feather that gradually turned to ash, she looked up at Gothel, who was wringing her hands anxiously.

"Your tokens?" Emma asked. 

Gothel waved a hand over the stained cloth; several of the woman's teeth, a long braid of her hair, and a large chunk of skin fell into the cauldron. The cauldron's contents began to boil, smoke curling in darkened serpentine tangles. 

Emma began the words, Latin, Arameric, the old tongue of the Pagans, Celtic, remnants of Gaul, flowing them together until speaking plainly to her own magic. 

"Blood of one that is two, child, mother, 

Blood of my own, tear them asunder, 

Thicker than wine, thicker than water, 

Ties that bind, bound to another, 

The womb that grows life, 

Kin cared for in kind, 

A payment for power, 

Remake the ties, lift, and unbind."

Scraping her hand against a dagger, Emma let her blood drop slowly into the brew, the words flowing out in the crimson rivulets. As she pulled away the wound closed from her own healing energy. 

"Cradle of moon within flesh, 

Remake that which is to be made, 

Your reflection removed, 

Mine in its stead.

Your burden is mine, 

Carried and held as your first, 

Blood of the two, child, mother, 

As they are born, you are cursed."

She looked at Gothel, who was still wringing her hands, long nails cutting into her palms. This magic was hopefully worth the price the woman had so freely paid. Breaking an infant and mother's bond to give to another was a great sacrifice, the magic comparable to true love, if not greater. The power the Witch would receive would hopefully free her from the curse, but also give her the strength she desired.

"It's done. You must cast your brand over the cauldron, and when you, you know," Emma turned around, holding herself tightly. Caught up in the thought of what she, Emma Swan, would even do with a child, she was unaware of the other Witch behind her scrambling to the cauldron or her deep disregard for anything she was saying. "Get pregnant, let me know. I'll handle that - Wait, what are you -" 

Gothel chuckled lowly, her brand in its arcane circle around the cauldron, neon lines of electricity like power that sparked and crackled. Emma felt her hair stand on end, small pebbles lifting off the stone floor as the cauldron shook. Smoke rose in heavy plumes, purple and a noxious mauve that made the air feel sticky, her lungs not able to fill all the way. Gothel's chuckle had turned into a wild cackle, her braided and matted hair like vines or a visage of Medusa. 

Gothel's voice was crazed, shrill as she pointed a gnarled finger at Emma. "This is it. This is it! I've done it, I'm free! Oh, you silly, stupid girl. Now nothing will ever stop me again!" 

Her laugh grew into a shriek of triumph as magic swirled around them, Emma watching as the woman in front of her disappeared. Gaping at what happened, Emma checked herself for any signs of curses or hexes, unsure of what had just taken place. 

To her surprise, no sign of magic lay on her that she could see. She wasn't cursed, the room wasn't jinxed, and the second payment… Emma quickly checked her purse, finding the large satchel of gold easily. The second sat where Gothel had discarded it without looking twice, and she picked it up hesitantly. It was heavy in her hands as she checked it again and again, realizing that for once in her life, everything was going right. 

 Three hours later, she owned the Victorian home down the road from her brother's farm, the first home she had ever truly called hers. 

 Living near her brother's home had its perks, and disadvantages, as Snow had hinted. For one, Snow was cooking for her every day, and Emma was positive she was going to gain several dress sizes if she didn't stop gorging on various pasta dishes while pouring her magic into restoring the wooden floor. 

A major downside was having her brother constantly fixing her house without her being aware. She'd been woken by him cleaning the gutters, fixing her porch, and of all things, roofing. It had only been a few days, but between his insistence on the outside being presentable and her own work inside, the house was coming along faster than she ever dreamed. It was frightening, and David kept her on edge with his very obvious attempts at snooping around. 

"So, you're done with Neal for good," he said, startling her as she sat out on a newly hung porch swing. She wrinkled her nose at him in protest, and he grinned. "And… You're making doors again."

She froze, panic gripping her. 

"It's alright, I'm not mad. I'm just - just be careful. I trust you, but I know that before -" 

"I made a mistake. I know it, you know it, the Coven knows it, and so does everyone else in the Heights that saw me fall from grace." Emma curled her arms around her knees, bitterly forcing out words. "I won't make the same mistake again. I am on the straight and narrow; these doors are for commuting and hunting skips only." 

David laughed, poking her in the side. "Back to hunting skips, huh? Damn. Don't you ever settle down and enjoy the simple life?" 

Emma laughed, shaking her head. "What the hell is the simple life? Nothing is simple."

"Well, yeah, but… I mean the simple life." He brushed a hand through his hair, looking at her with a gentleness that she instantly felt uneasy with. "House, a pet maybe, hobbies, a partner, kids -" 

"If you are trying to set me up again -" 

"Not me," David raised his hands defensively. "No, I was just -" 

"I don't deserve that life," Emma stated, shrugging. The sun was sinking lower, crickets singing in the cool air. "That life isn't for me. That life is for people like you and Snow, people that are worth something."

"Oh, Emma. You know that's not -" 

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Emma snapped, standing with a start. David looked at her with a hurt expression, and she felt pure rage. "Goodnight."

She stepped back into the house, letting the screen door slam shut behind her. 

"Emma, come on," David called from the porch, but Emma wasn't listening to him as she fought the immediate urge to be ill. The sudden nausea ripped through her, and despite her attempts, vomit burst from her throat. 

She panted, holding on to the wall with one hand. The other hand gripped her side, fierce cramping making her double over in a scream of agony. She lurched forward, unable to breathe as pressure rose in her stomach. To her terror, her skin grew taut and she seemed to bloat, the pain of it ripping through her. 

David splintered the door, his arms around her as she lost consciousness. 

She woke in an ambulance, David holding her hand like he'd done when they were children. He was always the best big brother she could have asked for, always protective of her, and always pushing her to be better. He had convinced her to trust Ruth, convinced her to take a chance with the older woman who was willing to adopt both of them, and they had found another home together. When she was scared or sick, he was right there to hold her hand. Even now as pain ripped through her, he was there. She tried to understand, but her body burned until the flame became too much to bear. 

She woke again to the beeping of machines and David's yelling, her body aching but no longer in the same searing pain. Lifting herself up to try and hear what David was saying, she struggled to make out more than just fragments. 

"I'm not leaving, that's my sister ---- How did -- she wasn't, she --- I don't know, she never said anything ----- A WHAT? No! I'm --- not leaving!" 

Emma's stomach lurched, and she shifted to get out of bed. The sheets slid from her middle, and she gasped. Her middle was rounded, as if she was pregnant. But that was impossible, that was absolutely and completely impossible. 

A knock sounded, a petite woman entering. 

"I'm Doctor Mullins, Emma. I know that this may take some time to fully process, but… you're pregnant."

Emma hissed out a breath into a hysterical laugh. "What? No. No. This is not how babies work, or pregnancy, or even - I haven't even had sex since - "

"I know, and I understand that you must be frightened." The doctor attempted to console her, but Emma could not stop her rising panic. She touched the rounded skin of her stomach, the firm smoothness lined with stretch marks. Letting out a low wail, the doctor tried to speak over her still. "It's some ancient and dark magic, but it's very real. We have an inspector on the way to take your statement, and we performed a few tests -" 

"No. No, this is a bad dream, this isn't real, this isn't happening to me!" Emma closed her eyes, trying to focus. 

" - most concerning of which is the results on paternity, which indicate that the father has non-human presenting DNA. Normally that's not terribly unusual, but this is clearly not a planned pregnancy considering your… your conception being, well, this, and the genomic markers show that the parentage is half Celestial. I need to ask, have you had any relationships with an Angel?"

Emma shook her head, trying to understand what the doctor was asking. 

"Alright, what about anyone with proximity to dark, Arcane, or Demonic magics? Anyone who associates with Demons? Do you associate with them?" The doctor eyed her curiously, and Emma shook her head again. 

"I don't know any Demons, Angels, or Celestials." Emma bit her lip, frustrated at the question. Rolling it between her teeth, she murmured a thought out loud. "I did recently perform a ritual that was older. It didn't call for this though, I don't know anything about this…" 

"Well, it doesn't just happen." Emma looked at the doctor with enough venom in her stare to curdle milk. The doctor laughed nervously. "I mean, it did but -" 

"This cannot be happening," Emma moaned, throwing her head back against the hospital bed's pillow. "This has to be a bad dream."

"I'm afraid it is all very real. Considering the circumstances, an inspector of magical law will be assigned to question you regarding the situation. Because of the issues of legality, you may not leave or have visitors until then." The doctor stood, brushing her hands on her slacks. "Baby looks healthy despite wanting to grow at an accelerated rate, and we have slowed that as much as we can. Welcome to motherhood Miss Swan, and, er… Congratulations." Giving a last placid smile, she left the room, leaving Emma alone. 

Emma sat stunned, unable to do anything but focus on her steady breathing. 

(Fuck)

The single word came to mind again and again, escaping from her lips as her breath finally began to turn into sobs. 

"Fuck."

[bittybattybunny]

You know what? This has been on the back of my mind for awhile, but PLEASE EITHER POST A LINK TO YOU GOING OF ABOUT YOUR SOUL EATER WORLD BUILDING HEADCANONS, OR RAMBLE AWAY HERE BECAUSE I WANT TO HEAR YOU TALK, ESPECIALLY SINCE PART OF ME WANTS TO KNOW WHY YOU LOVE THE TRASH SWORD!!!!!!???????

KLFSJKFJKDSFKFD

THIS

THIS IS NOT THE ASK I AS EXPECTING TO GET

UMM

UUHHH

I DONT HAVE IT ANYWHERE ONLINE ABOUT WHY I LOVE HIM UM

I NEVER

THOUGHT SOMEONE WOULD ACTUALLY WANT TO KNOW??? UM UM IDK IF I CAN PUT IT ALL IN LIKE ONE POST??? IT'S UM

well, I have a lot of headcanons but the long-short is I just think he’s neat.

Um alright so since you specifically asked tho about Excalibur I can ramble a lil on my thoughts on him??

Alright buckle up; I have no idea how long this will get. Please understand I have been a member of the soul eater fandom since yen plus started translating it into English.

I do not really interact with the fandom (not really sure why I never did/do. I guess it’s just cuz when I got into the fandom I didn’t really have access to fandom spaces and by the time I did I wasn’t really sure about it.)

however, I have cosplayed as both Eurka Frog (and I met Todd Haberkorn!!! I chased him to an elevator and threw a fanart at him and then ran away. I did get him to sign a piece the next day. he’s super nice. I am very distressed I missed a chance to get a signed piece by Troy Baker and I really cannot express how upset I am by this. Like honest to god I am so upset. I had been in line I was ready I was so pumped-- and then my friend was like hey let's go he has a thing tomorrow you can do it then and like an idiot, I did and guess what wasn’t the next day? a troy baker signing. Sighs. He’s not been at any cons I've attended since so I’m so disheartened I will never get my annoying sword autograph) As well as Maka Albarn (IDK if I posted photos or not but I think it’s on my cosplay blog or on twitter)

Anyhow onto Excalibur and why I think he’s a pretty neat character.

We’re going into a read more cuz this is LONGGGGGG

Also Obviously I am going into spoiler territory

I pull info from both the anime and manga when it comes to my personal SE HCs. This is more evident in my Shinigami-Sama/Kishin headcanons but I’ll save those for another post if there’s actually an interest in it (as well as my Chrona is a Genie hc. that one is a shorter HC but yeah.) My friends who’ve sat and listened to me (and my sister who knows the show but isn't invested like I am. Like fun fact is even tho I don't do much fanart; anytime I see soul eater cosplayers or merch I like to get it.) say I’m pretty convincing so lol.

So Excalibur as a whole is set up to be this hella annoying, talks over you, egotistical, member of the great old ones, warlord of anger, most powerful weapon.

(ﺧ益ﺨ) 

in both the anime and manga he’s shown to always seem to stick to the same points when he talks. His legend begins in the 12th-century blah blah.

And his ridiculous list to become his meister.

Which set him up to be as you put “trash sword”

But I think it actually helps open something up.

So I, myself am a rambler when I’m nervous or excited. I will reiterate points when I’m frightened or upset (for my I tend to ramble on stupid factoids like octopus or my chronic illness)

And I kinda see this in Excalibur. Not a nervousness per se but that he’s purposely putting up a barrier between him and others.

He’s lonely.

He’s willing to cut down on the list of requirements for Kid and Black Star. Even with Ox he was asking to be taken. And He did partner with Hiro for a time.

He’s been in that cave for a long time. Since Asura pretty much.

How does a weapon who can pair to anyone and is as powerful as he is get shoved into a rock and left there just because he’s “annoying”

This always bugged me.

More so when we get moments later on when he’s like chatting with Death or Kid and he’s actually really serious. Like there’s no pretense, no interrupting. Like yes he does slightly interrupt when they aren’t listening or say something dumb but for the most part you see a completely different side to him.

This is what cemented in my head the fact the whole “annoying” bit is an act he does. He’s capable of emotions. He shows attachment to things like his legend.

Specifically that bit always made me think he really misses King Arthur. Like why else would he always fixate on that? like his legend begins sure but there’s more to it right? he never talks about his time with Shinigami and the old ones. Only his legend and then how he was such a wild child. but it lacks substance. The guy is over 800 years old there should be more he can ramble about.

So here’s where my headcanon takes a weird turn

but I think Excalibur.

Is the sorcerer Merlin.

A man born with a Grigori Soul and the ability to use magic. It’s shown Eibon and Excalibur tended to not get along. and Eibon based the demon weapons on Excalibur but wouldn’t tell him.

Excalibur isn’t counted as a demon weapon. he’s a holy sword.

There is no other record of a weapon like this.

I think Merlin, in an attempt to help his dear friend Arthur with his battles, turned himself into a powerful weapon to aide him. He’s an old one with the power of Madness of Anger. Anger can take many forms including possessive love. Wouldn’t it make sense for someone who knows they are strong to do everything they can for their loved one? I know I’ve been angry enough to kill for the ones I love. Like nothing makes me angrier than someone hurting someone i care about.

I think he was heartbroken to outlive the king. Clearly he doesn’t age and is super focused on the 12th century. I think it really hurt him.

Moving to another point

he’s selfish. Egotistical. but i think it’s another front. Like yes he has some pride obviously. But all his stories involve other people. Shouting fool at anyone who who deems worthy of the name.

People won’t care if you get hurt if you’re a dick.

You can’t get hurt if you aren’t close to people.

If not evidenced by my AHIT oc Eclipse and my baby Kai; I’m a sucker for self sacrificing in the name of love because you don’t see yourself worthy or love. (this is more self projecting than anything but I’m not gonna unpack that here)

I think Excalibur is the same way. he demands to walk in front of people. he wants to be the center of attention. But he won’t get close to others. He’ll take the burden on of being annoying and strong so people focus on him and others can sneak around.

So to sum up my personal headcanons:

Excalibur is a sorcerer named Merlin who had a powerful grigori soul and turned himself into a weapon to aide the man he was close to (and yes I’m 100% suggesting he had romantic feelings for Arthur. but Arthur was for Guinevere so he stood to the side and let them be) He plays up being an asshole because he doesn’t want to lose another person since he outlived Arthur.

Also i didn’t clarify the reason I say he has a grigori soul is due to the facts we know about them. Wings, Halo, purifying, rare. these traits are shared by Excalibur when he’s wielded. I think it’s a pretty cut and dry reason for why I say this ya know?

So Why do I like him?

I think he’s a character who gets written off as a joke superficially but when you sit and reread the manga or rewatch the anime and pay close attention to him; there’s actually a lot there to unpack and enjoy. I think he’s a deep character who puts up a front to protect himself but slowly warms up (I mean heck he’s clearly running around by the end of the manga. and people aren’t screaming)

So thanks for coming to my ted talk I love Excalibur and I don’t care if I’m the only one who does.

Also if curious, my fanstory “Fuller” which has my oc Mira and Excalibur as the main focus actually takes place post Manga and stuff.

Um I guess tho if you want to hear my two cents on anything else soul eater you can ask too I have a bunch of other theories like how Kishin are actually a race not just demonic souls and how soul types show there’s more in the world than we get shown (like look at Free. He’s an immortal werewolf. what’s up with that? and Maka had a Genie hunter during a resonance which means those exist and then there’s teh thing with witches and then blair is a weird existence and just. look. I have a lot of feelings for this even tho I don’t post much on it.)

I just love soul eater okay

[rainsonata]

Doppelgänger 14/15

Chapter 14: The Cataclysm 

Fandom/Pairing: Elsword; none Rating: T Word Count: 6,968

Summary: It was like looking into a mirror. What happens when one’s reflection talks back and throws uncomfortable questions? El Search Party struggles to find entrance into the Demon Realm, but Dominator has a plan.   

Alternative Title: Dominator fucked up and now everyone meets their alternative selves   

AO3 Link / FF.NET Link

— [Chapter 01] [Chapter 02] [Chapter 03] [Chapter 04] [Chapter 05] [Chapter 06] [Chapter 07] [Chapter 08] [Chapter 09] [Chapter 10] [Chapter 11] [Chapter 12] [Chapter 13] [Chapter 14] [Chapter 15] —  

----------------------------

Class Notes: 

Canon Path: Knight Emperor, Aether Sage, Daybreaker, Rage Hearts, Code: Esencia, Comet Crusader, Apsara, Empire Sword, Doom Bringer, Ishtar and Chevalier (Innocent), Bluhen   

Alternative Path: Rune Master, Oz Sorcerer, Anemos, Furious Blade, Code: Ultimate, Fatal Phantom, Devi, Flame Lord, Dominator, Timoria and Abysser (Catastrophe), Richter

Transformation Path: Immortal, Metamorphy, Twilight, Nova Imperator, Code: Sariel, Centurion, Shakti, Bloody Queen, Mad Paradox, Iblis and Anular (Diangelion), Herrscher

---------------------------- 

Code: Ultimate 

Henir’s Time and Space existed in a separate plane of its own, balanced between all dimensions and existed at a point where time did not exist. A portal cracked open from the side, forming an enclave big enough for their group to squeeze through. 

Ultimate entered first. She forced her wings to fold back to avoid crushing the person behind her. It was the same as it was the last time she had visited. They all landed on the familiar blue platform shared by parts of Elrianode. Electric circuits glowed beneath their feet. Blue cubes hovered around their platform among the stars. A dark sun eclipsed by the moon floated above their heads. 

Despite gaining access to knowledge from the libraries and databases from her journey, Ultimate had little understanding of Henir’s Time and Space and its existence. Its architecture bore strong resemblance to that of the corrupted monsters and machines in Elrianode. The administrator of the facility was placed in what appeared to be a form of punishment. Ultimate felt her circuits hum into mild stress at the thought of being locked into one place.      

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE DIMENSION WILL COLLAPSE?” 

Loud chatter disrupted Ultimate’s train of thought. The queen of destruction closed her eyes and allowed her programs to run scans in the background. Glave was nowhere to be seen, but Ultimate needed to update her database on Henir’s Time and Space. 

“I’m sure she was joking.” Knight laughed nervously. The red knight fought to restrain Aether by placing his hands over her shoulder and gently nudging her away from Metamorphy. The elementary mage did not back away and had her staff out with a dangerous look in her eyes. 

Ultimate recognized that expression. It was the one humans had when frustrated and confused. Aether was both.   

“I don’t joke,” Metamorphy said with a bright smile. She was unaffected by her counterpart’s outburst and stepped out of the portal with her arms behind her back. 

Her sensors notified Ultimate that other organic beings were present. Orange and red light filtered through her ocular lens to let her know there were a few dozen warm bodies. Metamorphy was correct in that they were the last group to have arrived. The platform they were on was one of many. Small stairs connected each platform and formed a chain of them to travel in between them. 

Ultimate heard their names being shouted by the others that saw their arrival. It was too much for the Nasod in keeping track of them all. She allowed herself to ignore them and instead watched her friends interact with each other. Their reunion would be short before they learn about their fates. 

A figure appeared from the mass of people. Ultimate’s scans shot up in response to the high energy levels emitted from Paradox. The time traveler’s energy level was unstable, making it difficult for Ultimate’s systems to keep up with the changes. It was as if Paradox wasn’t human.  

“Of course it’s you causing all the noise.” Paradox was in his adult form and covered his mouth to hide a snide smile. He said to Metamorphy. “So you told them your intentions. Didn’t think you would become the harbinger of bad news.”

“I don’t remember asking for your input,” Metamorphy’s expression soured. “I doubt your group took it any better than mine did.” 

“You took us here knowing we were going to react like this?” Knight protested, “You’re okay with us watching the world be destroyed?”

“Reborn,” Metamorphy corrected. 

“Explain,” Ultimate looked at Paradox and Metamorphy with cold eyes. She noticed more people crowding around them and listening in to Metamorphy’s explanation. Did they know about this before they did? “I don’t quite follow what you mean by rebirth.”  

Destruction and rebirth were two concepts humans liked to bring up through history. Their religion and cultures were built around both. When one group had fallen, another would rise, sometimes stronger than the last in ways Nasods wouldn’t be able to. 

Ultimate was placed into deep slumber because her creator feared that his race had once again fallen into the cycle of death. He was correct, but Adrian failed to recognize that humans were just as compatible with creation as they were in destruction. For she had seen her teammates come up with plans and concepts that helped others. However, Ultimate began to understand his sentiment when Metamorphy showed glee in explaining the death of a dimension the Nasod queen had only come to known for a few days. 

“Rebirth makes it sound grander than it actually is,” Metamorphy said. “It’s more like a soft reboot. Having everyone into the same dimension is stressing the system and forcing it to shut down to reset itself.”

“You’re saying it’s going to come back?” Phantom asked. 

“Yes,” Metamorphy hummed. “Maybe not one-hundred percent. It should be restored to the state before the dimension broke down.”

“We’re really doing this.” Bangs covered Knight’s eyes, “We’re letting people suffer again.” 

There was tension in the red haired man’s features. His shoulders rose and a hint of blue flickered over his glassy eyes. Ultimate frowned and questioned the El’s influence over Knight. Did the El have a stronger presence with Knight than it did for Rune? 

“I’m sorry we had to resort to this,” Rage offered Knight an awkward pat on the back. 

“So this is what happens when too many timelines intersect,” Bringer mumbled to himself. “This is the end.”   

Being a few hundred years old, Ultimate wasn’t one to be as sentimental as most were in occurrences such as the soft reset Metamorphy was suggesting. The end wasn’t a foreign concept to her. According to numerous history books, many Elrian civilizations documented the Nasod war as the death of a prosperous era and the end to the benevolent relationship between Nasods and humans. Rune’s sacrifice to the El was the end of their search for the El Lady and the El Masters. A soft reset would mark yet another ending of a story arc in human history. 

Was there truly an end? 

“Resetting will fix everything?” There was a bite to Flame words and sharpness in the look she exchanged to Metamorphy and over to Paradox. Biting the bottom of her lips, Ultimate could see the flame user trying not to get excited. 

“I don’t know about that,” Paradox scoffed. “No one has done a reset before. I’m not sure if Glave can even do it.” 

“Is that why you brought us here?” Abysser asked. “I knew Glave deals with time and space, but do you really think he’s going to agree to helping us?”

“Didn’t he already help you in Elrianode?” Crusader had his arms crossed, “He gave us information about the corrupted Elrianode monsters and about the Dark El.” 

“I suppose it could be too soon to ask for help again.” Empire said, “We’re already here, so we should at least try.” 

Empire had what humans called “cautious optimism”. When Ultimate expressed her confusion, Rune explained that people wanted to see the bright side of something, but remained careful out of the fear of being wrong. The knight captain remained so, putting on a composed mask but smiling as a way to reassure the others. Flame did the same, but her enthusiasm was more overt and offering loud cheers. 

Crossing her legs, Ultimate examined a floating cube reflecting her face back. She hadn’t noticed before, but some of them acted as monitors and showed the viewer different worlds. Each surface focused on a different part of Elrios, but one caught her attention. Ripples formed over its otherwise smooth surface and offered her a glimpse of a moving figure. 

A woman sharing Devi’s face darted across a muddy terrain with a toothy grin. She wore white outfit similar to that of the warriors from Fluone's Northern Empire, followed by a white fox with many tails. Behind her was a blonde man in a white suit covered by equally pristine armor and a destroyer. An elven woman was with them. Her hair was tied back into a long braid and hoisted a sword and a bow. The sky was red and they were fighting a monster several times their size, covered in spikes and baring sharp teeth. 

An emotionless face reflected back at Ultimate from the screen. The Nasod queen froze, waiting for her circuits to process the face of her twin. Pale blue wings sprouted from the back of her counterpart from another world she didn’t know of. Were these people her friends from another dimension?        

“My, my. There are more of you than usual.” A male voice mused, “Your group gets bigger each time we meet, but this is the biggest I’ve seen.” 

A single orange eye peered through the metal mask Glave wore. His voice made it impossible to tell his age, a quiet chuckle followed by a light toned statement that placed many people on edge. The locks placed around his collar were for a man who had committed unspoken crimes.  

“You took your time,” Paradox sneered. “Where have you been?” 

“Hello, Add.” Glave chuckled, “I see you have made use of the knowledge I have given you.” 

“Cut the crap and tell us what we need to do to undo this idiot’s mistake!” Bringer growled. 

“It looks like there’s three of you now,” Glave looked at Bringer, Dominator, and Paradox. “I suspected this day would come. How can I help you?” 

Bringer fumed as Bluhen commented about the brawler being singled out with his other selves. Dominator was less pleased of being grouped with his alternatives, crossing his legs and sitting on Dynamo in a silent sulk. Paradox became a sitting duck as soon as Glave showed up, glaring at the administrator of Henir’s Time and Space with distaste.

“We need your help,” Crusader explained. “The Demon Realm where we came from is falling apart. If we don’t do something, we won’t be able to save Elrios.” 

“Is that so?” Glave looked at the mob, “Is that because all of you were involved?”

“Yes,” Anemos said. “Add said there were too many of us and it’s causing problems for everyone and the people living in Demon Realm.” 

“I expected this to happen for some time,” Glave admitted. 

“Because you taught someone how to time travel?” Nova raised a brow. 

“Yes, but he isn’t the only one learning to open portals.” Glave said, “I’m sure you remember the demon invasion in Velder?”

“That’s right, they were trying to open portals to invade Elrios!” Aether exclaimed, “But what are you trying to say? Metamorphy said you could reset the dimension and return us back to where we were supposed to be!”

“Did she now?” Glave said, “That is a heavy task you are asking of me.”

“Please, Glave. You helped us before and you gave us all the information you knew about the Dark El.” Knight lowered his head, “I don’t know what we can offer this time, but you’re the only person I know who can help us.” 

Ultimate looked back to Knight, trying to understand his intention. He led a massive group, yet maintained the humbleness Rune had. There was no humor in his intonation, coated by shame and guilt. She was confused about where the unnecessary emotion came from. He was no different than Rune. 

“What can you offer this time?” Glave chuckled again, “Resetting a dimension so I can send all of you on your merry way? It will only take time before all of you find each other again.” 

“I know it’s our fault this happened, but that’s why I want to change that.” Knight said, “I only want-”

An arm blocked Knight from getting closer to Glave. Immortal stepped up and shook his head to Knight, effectively silencing his counterpart with a tiny smile. The sword user beamed at Glave and offered the man a forced grin. 

“Yo, Glave! I got a better deal than myself over there,” Immortal nudged Knight to the side. “Why stop at resetting one dimension? You’re right, we might try to see each other again and that means you’ll have to fix our mess again. So why don’t you sit down and listen to what I have to say?”

“Oh?” A smile could be heard in Glave’s raised intonation, “What do you propose?”

“Why don’t you make it so that dimension traveling is stable across our three dimensions?” Immortal nodded, “You won’t regret this because you will never be bored!”     

Anemos once proposed to Ultimate that Glave’s strange requests were done out of boredom. She kept her voice low and hushed with a snide comment that was uncharacteristic of the elven woman. Ultimate couldn’t relate to the emotion as Nasods did not get bored, but she knew that humans had a tendency of finding ways to entertain themselves when placed in isolation. She could see why Glave would go to such lengths to reach out to the El Search Party when his traveling was limited to a few spots. 

“Never get bored, huh?” Nova laughed to himself, “That’s so Elsword.” 

---------------------------- 

Chevalier

In contrast to the cold weather in Varnimyr, there was nothing in Henir’s time and space. It was warm yet cold. Big, yet small. An infinite sea of platforms floated in space, small stairs suspended in midair and connected to one another. Just big enough to fit all twenty nine of them and its administrator. 

The first time he had visited Henir’s time and space was by Glave himself, who had a tendency of showing up at resting spots in Elrios. A strange light in his eyes gave away that the man had plans of his own. He wasn’t one to share his intentions and Chevalier didn’t want to do with any of it. Chevalier didn’t lack strange people in his life after he formed a pact with Ishtar. 

It has been weeks since Chevalier last saw the administrator of Henir’s time and space. With a look of boredom and a shrug, Glave offered useful information on the Dark El and a quick history lesson of the Henir heretics involvement of it. Their dependence on Glave brought discomfort to the half-demon butler. 

“Are we nothing more than entertainment for this man?” Ishtar scowled, “Fixing someone else’s mistake in exchange for our livelihood. What kind of nonsense is this?” 

Chevalier hushed the former demon ruler. He had seen the hasty plan wrapped together by the newcomers as if it was second nature for them to dimension jump at a last minute’s notice. There was no reason to give Glave a moment of doubt in handing over a gift to their group. 

“How would we travel to each other’s worlds?” Apsara asked. 

“I gave the coordinates to the nerd and the musclehead,” Paradox snorted. “I think that’s enough.” 

“This is a good idea?” Chevalier wondered aloud, “Demons have tried to cross into Elrios through portals in the past. What makes you think they won’t find out about our new access to them?” 

“It’s only a problem if you blurt it out in the cold open like the amateurs you are,” Paradox grinned. “With twelve of you, that surely won’t be a problem, would it?”

Chevalier couldn’t make head or tail(s) about the man who shared Doom Bringer’s face. The time traveler had two forms he could use however he pleased. That was how he tricked Knight into believing he was harmless, yet they were expected to take Paradox’s words as truth. The butler’s gaze locked into Bringer, who nodded as a confirmation. 

“That’s right, he gave us the coordinates for each other’s dimensions.” Bringer said, “Is that all you want to say?”

“You’re not the type to have idle conversations, are you?” Dreadlord chuckled, “I suppose it can’t be helped with our situation.”      

Was the Demon Realm they came from beyond saving? It wasn’t their world, but it was the one the El Search Party promised to protect. It was a relief to make amends with the dark elves and the other creatures living there. Despite the poor relation between demons and Elrios inhabitants, there were civilians living in both. Most importantly, it was Ishtar’s home. Behind her sly smiles was sadness and nostalgia for a place that no longer accepted her.  

Chevalier and Ishtar poured blood and sweat into fighting their way into Demon Realm to restore her reign as a ruler, only for all that effort to go to waste. He couldn’t imagine the thoughts going through Ishtar’s mind in watching her world be reduced to ashes. 

“It’s fine,” Ishar placed a hand over Chevalier’s left forearm. She said with a forced smile, “It doesn’t bother me. Everything will be okay.” 

“Are you sure?” Chevalier disliked how childish he sounded when he asked a seemingly simple, yet personal question to the one he was supposed to protect. 

“Metamorphy said it would be reset, so I’m sure of it.” She closed her eyes, “My people are no strangers to rebuilding themselves. We should be thankful Grave is agreeing to help us again. This will be the second time we owe him.”  

“That’s already several times less than some of us,” Immortal gave a light chuckle. “Are you ready then?” 

All this talk about portal and interdimensional travel was a familiar topic that gave Chevalier a migraine. He could understand why the ability to do so was so appealing to demons. With that sort of power, Chevalier would gain access to stronger allies, multiple versions of himself that would likely share the same objective as he did. It took the effort of many people to prevent such power from falling into their enemy’s possession.   

Meeting their alternates added an extra layer of complexity on top of the original intention to seek out the Dark El. The butler knew they wouldn’t hear the last about portals after the first time they attempted to cross a dimension over from Lanox. Chevaliar had doubts that their group would return to Elrios any time soon.  

“You all right, there?” Abysser’s annoying voice popped into his vicinity. “What’s going on in your mind?”

“Nothing,” Chevalier said. 

“No one thinks about nothing,” Abysser snorted. “Hey Ish, what’s he thinking?” 

“Don’t call her that!” Chevalier growled. Why was being around himself so grating? Ishtar gave Abysser a small smile, but the demon monarch mentally cackled at the exchange between the two butlers. Chevalier sent glares at the tiny demon, struggling not to fill his mind with profanities. That only made Ishtar laugh harder.

“Did I say something funny?” Abysser was concerned, “You look like you ate something bad and Ishtar is giving me a weird look.”  

Chevalier stared ahead, focusing his thoughts and eyes on Glave. The administrator’s lips were moving, but he couldn’t hear the words. For the first time, he wished Ishtar didn’t have to share the same mental space as him. The demon monarch was usually good about backing off and giving him privacy, but Ishtar was taking delight in picking at his thoughts whenever Abysser was around. Her Cheshire grin was one that was usually reserved for teasing Bluhen.      

“Ciel was telling me how much he likes you!” Ishtar dared to speak a complete lie. Her lips couldn’t have spread out even further if she tried. The demon monarch bore a mischievous smirk that was more in line with her appearance age. 

“Aw, I think you’re cool too!” Abysser beamed. 

Chevalier groaned. 

He spied a camera shot of Varnimyr from one of the reflective cubes floating nearby. They functioned similar to the Nasod technology used in Elysion to monitor the city. Red clouds swirled in a dangerous haze, obscured by dark portals consuming the rest of the sky. Demons trekked across the fiery path, seeking for shelter in confusion to what was happening to their world. The demon realm was a mirror to what Lanox was weeks before the demon invasion. So this was how Glave always knew where to find them.  

Past his former days as a hitman, Chevalier pondered on how he would use them. How easy would it be to find his target before they realized he existed and... Chevalier didn’t allow himself to complete the thought. Those days were over. He would have easily picked to live in the present than in a bloodtorn past where he too often scraped the bottom of the barrel for less savory jobs.   

“It’s okay if you don’t know what to think about any of this,” Abysser read his silence as uncertainty. His eyes glazed over the cubes. Anger appeared in a short moment before he said, “I don’t think anyone would know how to react.” 

“You think?” Chevalier gave a dark chuckle. At least Abysser’s voice was good at distracting him from those troubling thoughts. “I was questioning my sanity when you introduced yourself.” 

“I can’t be that bad,” he feigned a hurt expression. 

“It’s like a dream,” Chevalier said. “Everything gets resolved as quickly as the problem came.” 

“We must be blessed because we now have three Elswords,” Abysser smirked. “Lady Luck seems to like them.” 

“I wouldn’t call it luck if it means having to sit through the world crumbling before us,” Chevalier said. 

“You’re welcome to join them,” Abysser grinned. 

“I’ll pass,” Chevalier scoffed. 

“Don’t you ever get bored of acting cool all the time?” Abysser asked. 

Chevalier shrugged, wondering what the demon meant by that. While he was troubled by the idea of watching a dimension reset itself, Ishtar did not need to add his premature death to her list of growing worries. Having sympathy for demon realm civilians wasn’t going to make him into a martyr. He was not Knight.  

“What needs to be done to begin the reset?” Anemos asked. 

“Your visit was unexpected, so I won’t be able to start immediately to fix your… mishap.” Glave said. “For saving the dimension, I expect a token of exchange shortly after. I’m sure it won’t be difficult for one of you to acquire it.”  

Chevalier was sure the first part was a lie, but he didn’t have the proof nor motivation to say otherwise. He took Glave’s word for it and nodded in agreement. His mind glossed over the mention of payment, mildly interested in what the administrator of Henir could want. Glave had previously formed exchange services for them running errands. The requested items were often unique objects obtained from strange circumstances and battles.    

“You can tell us about the price after you finish saving the world,” Immortal said impatiently. 

Similar to Knight, he carried weight in his steps and was terse in his words. He had a sharp look in his eyes, hazy from the effect the Dark El had. Chevalier could feel the Dark El radiating from the sword user, yet he retained his reason and intelligence.  

“There will still be limitations on how many can visit different worlds,” Glave added. “Your dimensions will no longer collapse under the new laws, but having large groups together will cause a delay in regular timeflow.” 

“As in…?” Flame squinted. 

“Try not to visit in big groups,” Phantom finished for her. 

“Having big groups does make it harder to avoid detection from the enemies,” Daybreaker remarked. 

Being forced to arrive as small groups sounded cumbersome, but it was more than what he expected from Glave. Impressed by Immortal’s ability to sway the administrator of Henir, Chevalier quietly thanked the redhead and offered a pat on the shoulder. Immortal backed away, as if the young man had seen a ghost. He kept looking at the butler’s face with a careful expression before moving his eyes over to Ishtar. Fear struck across Immortal’s gaze before he apologized to Chevalier for staring. 

Confused by Immortal’s reaction, Chevalier accepted the apology but frowned. Was it something he had said? Did Immortal have a bad relationship with the other Ciel from his world? It took a split second for Chevalier to force himself away from drawing out his gunblade because of the way Immortal looked at Ishtar, an expression he was quick to recognize. It was one of fear mixed with anger. What did the other Lu do to make Immortal respond like that?   

“Forget it.” Immortal rubbed the back of his head, a trait he shared with Rune and Knight when frustrated. “I need to let the others know what’s happening.” 

“I know you have a lot on your plate, but Glave won’t be ready any time soon.” Chevalier said. He wished there was something he could do to help the young man. “You should take the time to rest.” 

“Lucky for us, time doesn’t exist here.” Immortal let out a dark chuckle.  

“So after this, we’ll return to where we were before like nothing happened?” Chevalier asked. 

Immortal nodded. 

Rune’s group would go back to Elrianode before they entered Demon Realm. Would they once again attempt to enter their Demon Realm or would they change plans and remain in the ancient city? Chevalier and his friends would return to a restored Varnimyr with its inhabitants being none the wiser, still in danger because of a strong demonic presence they have yet to identify. Where would Immortal and the others go? 

“Don’t waste your time thinking about the things that don’t exist in your world,” Immortal said. He gave the butler a critical expression, “I’m sure you’re curious about what my world is like, but that’s our problem to figure out.” 

Problem? Chevalier realized he was judging a group of people he had only met a few hours ago and felt guilty. It wasn’t his place to make opinions on something he didn’t understand. 

“Perhaps we’ll meet again under better circumstances,” Chevalier said. 

“Maybe,” Immortal’s expression softened. Despite his young face, there was age in his eyes. Chevalier didn’t understand why, but he sympathized with Immortal’s struggle to hold the team together. That was something he could relate to. “Maybe not.” 

“Can you at least tell me if you found the Dark El?” Chevalier asked when Immortal excused himself. 

The redhead broke into a burst of genuine laughter, “Would I be here if I knew the answer?” 

----------------------------   

Immortal 

Resting his head back against the palm of his hands, Immortal took deep and controlled breaths as Shakti had taught him. He felt his chest hover before deflating, letting his mind wander off into the distance and blocking out the pointless chatter around him. 

More waiting. Nothing he could do to speed it up. Time didn’t exist in Henir’s Time and Space, which was great because that meant the stakes were lower, but made the extraneous delay worse for the sword user. Immortal was itching to get up and find something to do. 

Paradox didn’t trust Glave, but it wasn’t a question about trust. Glave was useful. He had access to knowledge and power that could easily switch their position in their current battle against the demons. Immortal wasn’t going to ignore a viable resource, not when Glave was so eager to offer his services. 

It was torturous sitting around and waiting for Glave to do his thing and send them back. To hell with Glave saying their visit was unexpected. He knew the guy was keeping a careful watch on his group. Something about them having “potential”, whatever that meant. Glave was never confused when his team visited the administrator, often offering them valuable information they needed. There was no reason for Glave to begin being surprised by their appearances.

Immortal’s concentration was broken by girlish giggling. Scowling at nothing in particular, he opened his eyes to see Metamorphy pointing at Paradox while talking to Devi. The magical girl motioned a pair of cat ears with the use of her index fingers. Devi had a similar expression as Immortal, confused by Metamorphy’s chatter. Flame was amused and mouthed a few words Immortal couldn’t hear over the rest of the mob.    

“It’s hard to hear your own thoughts,” Nova commented. The older man settled down next to Immortal. “I’m surprised it took effort to find them.” 

“I’m surprised too,” Immortal mumbled. “We should have let Aisha lead.”

“She would be happy to hear that.” He could hear the smile in Nova’s tone without looking at the former mercenary. “Convincing Glave to let the paths crossover more than once was a bold move.”

“So was letting the Dark El take over.” Immortal balanced one of his blades to see his reflection shine over its glossy edge and smirked, “I’m a bold guy.”

��If you say so,” Nova chuckled. “I understand wanting to restore their dimensions, but why take the extra steps to let them transverse to our worlds?”

Portals weren’t a novelty for Elrios. Humans and demons alike have spent centuries toying with the idea of interdimensional travel, fighting to ignore the barriers placed by the gods to prevent them from mingling. In many ways, demons held very human qualities in wanting what couldn’t be obtained. If it wasn’t Knight or Rune’s teams attempting to use portals, Immortal was sure the demons would make additional attempts to break into another dimension. 

“I like to call it a haunch,” Immortal said. “Just in case something like this happens again. Besides, they could use the extra help.”

“In fighting Rosso?” Nova raised a brow. 

“Not so loud!” Immortal shushed him, “I don’t think they know about him yet, at least that’s what Paradox told me.” 

“Letting them know won’t hurt them,” Nova gently told him. “They already know they will make it because of us.”  

Immortal questioned if it was wiser to let the other El Search Parties know what they were getting themselves into. His team had barely scraped out of the battle with bloodied cuts and bruises that took days to heal. Unlike Knight’s team, they had no healers and relied on potions crafted by their alchemists.

What would he tell Knight and Rune? That they were going to be ambushed by a burning midget with a giant blade? Immortal sighed, frustrated by the dilemma. Their timelines were already tangled up thanks to Paradox. There was no use in hiding knowledge from each other, yet he hesitated.     

Their small team of eight grew at Rosso’s awakening. Paradox showed up when the first blood was drawn. When asked why, the time traveler shrugged with a mischievous smile. Immortal could never understand what went through Paradox’s mind and wasn’t sure if he wanted to. 

It was one of the rare fights that summoned Iblis and Anular from the depths of hell. Iblis’s face was twisted with madness and delight in the pain she was able to inflict on their enemy, dragging Anular along on an invisible chain formed by their twisted bond. Their party was down to the last of its members able to fight when Immortal thought he saw red hair and a claymore before passing out. When he woke up, Bloody Queen was nowhere to be seen. 

“You think our help will be enough?” Immortal pondered on the implications of being able to regularly interact with his alternates. They were just a walking distance from him, but he couldn’t bring himself to face them. 

Nova noticed his hesitance. 

“You should check on them,” Nova followed his gaze over to the two red haired men talking to each other. “I’ll let you know when it’s time for us to leave.”

“What if they hate me?” Immortal was surprised by his own doubt, annoyed by how honest he sounded.  

“Before you finish that thought, I think they’re more concerned about their problems than about you.” Nova said without heat in his words, “They followed you through this plan because they believed in you. I think your appearance might be a breath of fresh air for them.” 

“You sure put a lot of faith into this eighteen year old,” Immortal laughed. 

“If age was a concern, I wouldn’t have followed you when we first met.” Nova smiled. “If they give you trouble, I can talk to them too.” 

“I don’t think that will happen,” Immortal laughed again. Knight and Rune were foolish, but had good intentions. That made three of them. He gave a mock salute to Nova with a toothy grin, “I won’t be gone for long.”  

It wasn’t hard to find Knight and Rune. They sat huddled together like they have known each other for years, speaking hushed whispers that raised Immortal’s radar. He forced those thoughts away, putting on a big smile as he was supposed to. Relaxed, waving at the two as if he wasn’t bothered by the idea of being the bringer of bad news that they were going to have to deal with a half-demon brat in a matter of hours, two weeks in Rune’s case. 

“Yo!” Immortal heard himself speak. He waved to them, “Fancy seeing you two here!”

“You’re the one who brought us here,” Knight waved back with a sigh. 

“I know,” Immortal kept smiling. “I told you I would help you guys get home!” 

“That felt a little too easy,” Rune said. “Do things always go smoothly for you?” 

“No,” Immortal heard Knight’s voice alongside his. He stopped to look at Knight, who wasn’t as surprised. “Really?”

“Yes,” Knight stressed. The look on his face was one of someone who was exhausted from all the interrogating from others. Impatient, he pressed his hand against his forehead when he saw doubt in his alternates. “Maybe the things I went through weren't as long and strenuous as it was for you, but I have struggles too!” 

“Never said I didn’t believe you,” Rune patted Knight on the back. “Just surprised, that’s all.”

Even if Immortal had purposely avoided talking to Rune and Knight up to this point, he was envious of how easy it was for them to talk to each other. Knight and Rune lacked the tension in their shoulders, relaxed and eager to trust others. It wasn’t that Immortal couldn’t relax, but there was a constant nagging voice in the back of his mind. Conwell urged him to take the next step to avoid the uncertainty of death. 

“Did you make Raven worried again?” Rune asked. 

“Me? Worry him?” Immortal smirked at the idea,“When isn’t he worried? He’s going to get white hair if he keeps fussing like that.” 

“Ours already has white hair,” Knight said without humor. 

Having only caught a short glimpse of Rage from a distance, Immortal was only able to recognize the former mercenary by the monstrous arm. It was nothing like what Immortal was used to, a strange mesh of machinery and organic compounds.   

Rune threw his head back and let his hair flop over his face in uncontrolled laughter. Covered in runes, his appearance was a sharp contrast to Knight’s conservative armored look. It was amazing how consistent their looks were to their personalities. If not for their shared names, they could have been different people. 

“Anyway, I think it’s only fair I share some information about what’s coming up for both of you.” Immortal ran one hand through his hair. 

“You mean what was causing the earthquakes in Varnimyr?” Knight asked, “Yeah, Paradox mentioned something about that. Rune and I were talking about that.” 

“Did Paradox mention how strong the next enemy was?” Immortal asked. 

“We’re going to have to fight something stronger?” Rune laughed, “When is that not the case?” 

They were taking the news better than Immortal thought, maybe too calmly. He didn’t like how quick Rune was to accept his word. No hesitance or questioning involved. Maybe Paradox was right about him needing more caffeine. Knight blinked, letting the new information process before nodding in agreement to Rune. He looked at Immortal with interest and ushered him to keep talking. 

Well, that’s why Immortal was here - letting them know what they were getting themselves into. It wasn’t going to stop them from going after Rosso, because they were Elsword and none of them could ignore someone’s cry for help. If no one was going to fight Rosso, who would? The ones who felt the most connection to the El. Good gods, why did all of them have to be big damn heroes?    

“The enemy will be heavily protected from outside its tower,” Immortal explained. “You need to take down the barriers quickly before they overwhelm you. Make use of everyone’s abilities and distribute your strengths. If one person gets shot down, let someone else take over.”

“People died?” Knight looked alarmed. 

“No,” Immortal realized his wording and stepped back. “But you’re going to need all the help you can get.” 

“Is that why you asked Glave to let our dimensions overlap?” Rune asked. 

Immortal cocked his head to the side, “Am I scaring you yet?”

“Not really.” Knight’s brave front was betrayed by his face losing color. Clearing his throat, he said, “Telling us what you know will make the fight easier.” 

“Will it be easier?” Immortal asked more for himself than to the others. “I doubt things will ever be easy for any of us, but you’ll continue?”

“Of course!” Rune bumped his fist up, “Who the hell do you think we are?”

Knight nodded in agreement. 

“Figures,” Immortal smiled. “Then I see no point in stopping either of you from doing what you have to do.”

He sat with his legs crossed with his body leaned back, looking up to the stars surrounding Henir’s time and space. No wonder Glave kept finding excuses to leave this bubble and interfere with his group. There was nothing to see once the novelty in the monitor panels and space wore off. 

“What’s your team like?” Knight asked. 

“You already saw half of them,” Immortal said. “What do you think?”

“Blunt. They have a lot of energy,” Knight after some thought, clearly putting careful consideration into his response. How cute.   

“They have a lot of powers we haven’t seen before,” Rune commented. “Where did Paradox learn to use portals?”

“None of us know,” Immortal shrugged. “Metamorphy thinks Glave is involved, but that’s besides the point. Paradox does what he wants.” 

“You mean he isn’t with you?” Knight asked. 

“Yes and no,” Immortal said. “Our team is a little smaller than yours because we don’t travel together.” 

Immortal saw the wheels spinning in Knight’s head, taking in the new information and forming new questions to throw at the sword wielder. He caught the red-haired knight tongue-tied on whether to probe further. It didn’t matter to him. If Knight asked, he would let the other know that their team functioned differently. Having a smaller team didn’t bother Immortal. It made traveling easier and drew in less attention. 

“It must be hard fighting that enemy if you had a smaller group,” Rune said. 

“We’ve managed,” Immortal replied. 

Although Iblis, Anular, and Paradox had joined for the bigger fights, he wasn’t sure if they counted as allies. Their loyalties laid elsewhere, not in him. Anular followed wherever the corrupted queen went and Paradox had a separate agenda unrelated to the El. It was better than no help at all. He wanted to offer the two El Search Parties more than that. No one deserved to barely scrape by with burns and blisters on their sides. 

“I hope we get to see each other more after this,” Knight spoke up. His voice was quiet, but firm. There was determination in his tone. “Not just to help each other, but to talk. It would be nice to stop thinking about saving the world for once.” 

“You need to come visit!” Rune exclaimed, “Not sure how similar our worlds are, but it would be nice to take a break once in a while.”

“That sounds nice,” Immortal closed his eyes. 

Yeah… he liked the idea of that. When was the last time Immortal rested and didn’t stop to think about the state of the world? Traveling with his friends for the last several years was fun, but it’s been months since Immortal got to enjoy himself. Maybe he could ask COBO services for suggestions. 

“Elsword!’ Nova’s voice forced him to blink and look up. “Glave said he’s ready!”

“What do you know, it’s already time.” Immortal murmured to himself. “Guess it’s time to watch the world end.” 

“It’ll be okay.” Even Knight sounded unsure. He turned to Immortal for help, “Right?”

“Guess we’ll find out very soon,” Rune had an uneasy smile. “We have the front row seats to watch it unfold.” 

Immortal wondered what went through Rune and Knight’s minds as they passively sat there and witnessed a cruel image. Displayed on multiple screens was the same climatic scene of a redden world. Varnimyr was already red from the chaos caused by Rosso, but the portals have crushed the mountains and trees that made up the region. They dissipated into fine dust and sucked into the portals. The inhabitants’ cries were silenced by the light. 

A blinding light flared from where they stood, beaming downward into a distant galaxy containing the demon realm. Immortal watched the light consume what was left of the crumbling dimension with a promise of starting anew. His very being felt electrified in response to the Dark El in the demon realm inverting on itself.

Glave remained standing in silence. His fingers traced over a diagram of portals overlaying between different spheres of galaxies and interdimensional planes. The display of writing and symbols meant nothing to Immortal. 

“I look forward to watching the three of you make use of the reset” He heard Glave chuckle, “Don’t let it go to waste.” 

He watched as Glave manipulated something to make the lines intertwine before his body snapped into shock. Unable to hold his head up, Immortal lost his focus and closed his eyes. Glave’s laughter echoed in his head.    

[popculturebuffet]

Top 10 Regular Show Episodes

Close Enough is Close! 2 more days and a show i’ve waited without hyperbole years for will finally land offically. While i’ve seen three episodes preelease, one because of a french film festival the other two because HBO made an oopsie, and it’s more than likely i’ll be seeing those episodes again thursday, it dosen’t make it any less special, as with an offical release comes the fandom finally becoming a thing and the ablility to watch the episodes over and over again.. on computer till HBO gets it’s shit together but still. IT’s a great time.  And my hype for the show made me revisit it’s big brother: Regular Show. Created by what would happen if you condesned california into a person, JG Quintel, Regular Show, as you all damn well know but I like doing anyway so as rigby would say, STOP TALKING, was about two slackers and best bros: Laidback hipster and hurricane when it came to talking to women, Mordecai and Rigby a high strung, idiotic, impulsive, and frequently angry racoon who worked, when they absolutley had to, at a park. Joining them at the park were their coworkers and later closest friends: Benson, their constnatly angry boss who constnatly belts out empty threats to fire them and has a rather sad personal life, Skips, a centuries old yeti whose literally seen it all and despenses advice for the duo and is voiced by everyone’s faviorite grandpa/jedi/murder clown Mark Hamill, Muscle Man, a grotesque blob of a man who likes  “My mom” jokes and breaking things, Hi Five Ghost, Muscle Man’s sidekick who got like.. one episode focusing on him alone over 8 seasons moving on, and Pops, an odd but unfailingly sweet and kind vicotrian era gentleman whose also basically immortal and is Bensons’ boss in name only.  The Park Crew spend their days working, or in our main duo’s case trying to get out of work to do anything else,  while dealing with every day issues that would quickly ballon into insanity. Getting pops a birthday present of Fuzzy Dice from a local pizza place ended up with the crew having to fight a bunch of anamatonic animals that were stashing diamonds in there. Trying to get concert tickets involved getting caffine from the nipples of a giant sentient coffee bean in order to stay awake long enough to do the extra work. And Mordecai trying to delete an embrarassing message off his crush Margret’s voice mail lead to him and rigby getting hauled in front of a bunch of a message guardians, one of which is a sentient smoke signal that wanted to burn them while the other replied with “we’ree not going to burn them when have we ever burned anybody”... I love and miss those guys. Oh and it’s resolved by having to playt he embarassing song he sang while said message beings groove to it then ask him to colaberate with them on their album. THis show was on all the drugs and I am all the hear for it. I could go all day obviously but this section is long enough as is, let’s move on. 

Regular Show came at JUST the right time for Cartoon Netowork: Similar to how the 80s doom patrol comic started off really bland and cookie cutter and not at all doom patrol and then grant morrison came in, had hte previous writer kill almost everything, then rebuilt it from scratch with crazy, CN had few shows left and was coming off a really terrible attempt at competeing with NIck and Disney Channel’s live action dommance with a bunch of dude broy reality shows and other ill conceved ideas. The network had a few shows, Total Drama, The Clone Wars which got better and I need to watch those better seasons at some point, but they weren’t enough to make the network thrive again.  SO enter adventure time and regular show: BOth were creative, funny , a bit rough around the ages, and kind of nuts, but both were massive hits: The shows hit almost every demographics sweet spots: Kids like the bright colors, fun designs, and insanity, teens loved the edgy bits of the humor and also the insanity and 20 somethings and older both found refrences they got and loved, and well.. insanity. I mean being fucking nuts but also wonderful is kind of the watchword for most animation nowadays. While in the past in my own head i’ve played down Regular Show’s part in things, after all it came second and had a rough patch I told myself.. but I was wrong. Both shows had a lot of the same elements; insane stuff, great voice acting and good humor especially as they evolved.. but both also evolved in largely the same way and that way helped change animation for the next decade: Both, despite being comeidies, regular show keeping to it a bit more than adventure time did as they evolved, had the characters grow, something a lot of animated comedies didn’t do as much ast the time, even the good ones. THey had season long arcs, things that are now standard features in most cartoons for good reason were MADE standard by these shows. It’s just regular show’s legacy got diluted by shows that TRIED to copy it but both failed to see that it grew past season one or that it’s being okay for kids but really based in adult life and problems meant copycats like fanboy and chum chum, sanjay and craig and breadwinners, all thankfully long dead, eventually sputtered out and died. That and Nick is REALLY shitty at maintaing shows or treating creators with anything resembling respect. Somehow Teen Titans Go is still alive despite having similar failings but you can’t win everything. It didn’t help gravity falls came along right after and proceded to be even more influentail than both of these shows. Hmmm I just realized I haven’t done any gravity falls reviews here.. I gotta get on that. But while the show got eclipsed in quality and popularity I do still think it holds up for the most part as funny, charming and with , for the most part, good character arcs, it’s just that a bit of incosntientcy, some abrubtly done actions and a REALLY fucking terrible arc in season 6 dull the show a bit in comparison to what came after, but I do realize now it’s still worht watching, remembering and laughing at. It may of not been the greatest, but damn it was good.  So with my nostaliga for the show popping up, my faith in it restored, and it’s sucessor showing up in a few days, I decided to do a little something for the ocassion. I WAS going to do a full on review, but had troulbe finding an episode as some of my faviorites are part of a larger arc that was hurt by a later arc, and the show ping ponged between slice of life and utter insanity enought hat it was hard to peg down to jus tone or two episodes. So while I WILL review the show eventually, it has both good and bad episodes needing it, I decided instead to dig out something I hadn’t done in far too long: a top whatver lists! Now while I do get these things are clickbaity, because they are, I.. honestly just love making them. Even if i’ts not for any specific purpose I just love ranking, the stress, even if I normally hate stress given my anxiety, of trying to narrow them down, and the satisfaction of taking a ton of episodes and melting htem down into the best of them. And with a show as long and varied as regular show, If igured this was the best way to show it off before I dived into it eventually. I’ll obviously be doing more top, and bottom lists in the future, but for now this seemd like a godo place to get back to it. As  Now a few more things before we finally get started. Yes I know i’ve gone on for a few years now but i’m almost done. This list is obviously, my opinon. If you disagree fine, and feel free to comment or shoot me an ask about it but I stand by my list and what I choose. I had to boil down over 60 episodes I picked to possibly  be on the list and even after it was down to 40 cuts were really difficult, .. Also just as a quick note there are no episodes from seasons 1, 6, 7 and 8, and that’s not on purpose, as the last two seasons are really good, it just fell out that way and i���m sorry about it. So with that out of the way grabs some sodas and wings, get out your maxi gloves, and bring out your best sentient earworms wearing sunglassses, after the cut I count down the top 10 Regular Show episodes. OOOOOOOOO!

10. I Like You, Hi (Season 5, Episode 26) As you’ll be able to tell by the rest of this list Season 5 is my faviorite, and it’s where I feel the series hit it’s peak before next season lead to it’s valley. It’s got a ton of great episodes, as this list will attest, some great character development, and was still really damn funny.  But what put it over the top for me was the Mordecai and CJ arc. At the end of the last season as you probably know the show wrote out Margret, having her finally get into college like she’d wanted since she got an actual character back in “Camping Be Cool” instead of just being “that hot girl mordecai really likes but is too scared to persue”, and another fantastic episode we’ll be getting to, Mordecai was in position to move on.  Re-Enter CJ. CJ was introduced earlier in the season 3 ep “Yes Dude Yes” which itself is really good, where Mordecai thought margret was engaged and with Rigby’s encouragment, ended up meeting CJ, stands for Cloudy Jay if your curious, a sentient cloud voiced by the wonderful LInda Cardenelli, aka wendy from gravity falls and currently co star of the equally wonderful show Dead to Me. Seriously go check it out on netflix, it’s really good. It naturally went pearshaped since Margret wasn’t engaged, he tried going out with both, she turned into a thunderstorm out of rage... as you do.. it’s like the season 6 plot but less infurating and more understandable.  But the two remeet, and had a kiss on new years while not knowing it’s the other person under am ask.. and then CJ ran and both thought the other was upset: MOrdecai for him being MOrdecai, and CJ for running out on him and agreed to be friends. That didn’t last, though it did give us another classic on this list, as while exes can be friends and all, the two still had something between them. Thus came this one. And it was a hard one as it barely inched out the finale of their relationship arc, Real Date, which had the ceo of a dating company try to break them up and be really damny funny but it’s ulitmatley this one being just as hilarious while being a great character piece that gets it the rub.  As the episode opens Mordecai and CJ have been spending a LOT of time together and i’ts clear there’s a spark there.. but Mordecai insists it’s platonic. And yes there is a bad habit of animation being unable to accept females and males who are into the oppistie sex can’t be friends without being attracted to each other. It’s being cleared up more lately, but as Star Vs showed it still happens sometimes. But it works here: The two STARTED with dating, made out on new years, and are attracted to each other it’s just clear both were in denial about it. It’s not saying “well they have chemstiry so fuck their partners’ like star vs or “if you loved someone once those feelings will return and destroy yoru current relationship” like next season.... season 6′s arc is a tirefire burn it.  But the issue is forced when, while texting about an extreme baking show together while CJ’s at her job at a sports bar, it autocrrects from Yuji, the show’s host, to you hi, sending the title message “I like you, hi”. Mordecai, being even less adept with his feelings and anxiety towards women than me and trust me that’s saying something, spirals and we do get the episodes best scene, narrowly beating out it’s climax, where Mordecai summons a war council.. aka the rest of the main cast minus benson but plus Thomas, the intern who I wish stuck around longer even after he turned out to be a russian spy because they ran out of ideas for him, voiced by Roger Craig Smith and distractingly using his future sonic voice. 

I just.. love everything about the scnee. From the term pulling a mordecai, to Rigby joining in, deservedly as he’s had front row seats for a lot of this bollocks, to everyone’s suggestions especially Muscle Man’s half assed one that somehow, but unsuprisngly, works for him and Starla.  Naturally Mordecai comes up with what Rigby HIMSELF admits is a Rigby level half assed scheme to get an actual photo with Yuji rather than just admit the truth. Yuji himself is an utter delight, having had his star not rise as fast as he’d like thanks to autocorrect and being entirely on board, and when it backfires as MOrdecai ends up autocorrected and sends the message thrice and gets sucked into the phone again, admits i’ts “pretty extreme’. I love the guy and i’m prety sure he showed up again, to my delight. 

In the phone Mordecai meets some old friends, the message guardians who I mentioned in the “insane shit this show has done” bit earlier: old forms of messaging who police texting, all voiced by Rich Fulcher of the Mighty Boosh and Snuffbox Fame. 

I love Rich and wish these guys could show up in close enough. Maybe they can, I don’t know how rights issues with turner properties work when it comes to two diffrent audiences entirely. Anyways what really makes the episode, besides the great callbacks in this scene, is when confronted with everything going on, Mordecai.. tries to run into the void, with Rigby, The Message Recorder and the Smoke Signal all encouraging him to come back. “There’s nothing out there for you, literally it’s just a blank void”. With the leading tape recorder pointing out from their text history not only how great CJ is but how much he seems to like her with Mordecai finally coming back and admitting the obvious: He does like her.. he’s just scared of beefing it again. Which he does but that’s not the point. Rigby, who as part of his character development helps Mordecai quite a bit with this stuff by being a neutral party, though he also likes CJ better than Margret which is a mood even though I don’t care which one you ship mordecai with frankly, you do you, I have my prefrences. And with that Mordecai finally texts her and asks her out, with her accepting via winky face.. with an added text to clarify it for his neuotic ass.. which is also a mood as my neuortic ass could use that a lot. Overall just a wonderful , hilarious and good bit of character growth.. that season 6 throws in the oven, but that’s a long rant for another day. On it’s own, “I LIke you, hi” is a good character piece for mordecai whlie still being really damn funny. 

9. Thanksgiving Special (Season 5, Episode 15)

Regular Show was really damn great at holliday specials. Their terror tales from the park every halloween were always a nice treat and a good replacement for Simpsons “Treehouse of Horror” which still exists, it’s just no one cares at this point, and their christmas and new years episodes are both really damn good, the first Christmas Episode being in contention for this list even. But to me the best of the best was easily Season 5′s  thanksgiving episode. 

The premise is simple: Mordecai and Rigby accidnetly destroy thanksgiving dinner, which the park crew is having for everyone and their famllies and, refusing to take Benson trying to dismiss their attempts to help fix their mistake, end up joining a songwriting contest to try and win a Turducken.. a natural one that’s born every 1000 Years because this is regular show. To do this they have to beat a parody of everyone’s least faviorite president Donald Trump, Rich Buckner.  The fact that trump was basically the main villian of a holliday special a year before he became president is not lost on me and  is one of the most accurate depections of the man i’ve ever seen. The fact Rich steals the prize despite our boys winning from his blimp with a grappling hook is peak trump. The fact Trump has’nt stolen more things with a grappling hook in real life is only because his hands are too small to use one. 

Getting past our president for my own sanity, the episode also has really great subplots: Muscle Man and Fives go to  a sports bar to get sides and end up pissing off a former football player and getting into a touchdown dance comppetition, sadly not set to the super bowl shuffle, while Benson, Pops and Skips go to get a turkey and end up fighting over it with men dressed up like a piligrim, a first thanksgiving era native american and a turkey, to which they don’t even really give an explination for.. granted most explinatoins on this show are insane but even by regular show standards, this gets none. And I love it for it.  While as you can tell the episode is really damn funny, what really sells it is the emotional core: For once while they do fear for their jobs a bit Mordecai and Rigby’s main motivation in this messup is genuine guilt and wanting to fix their mistake, and they work hard at it, even giving a genuine and awesome heartfelt song that notches itself up with other thanksgiving classics “That thankstiginv themed soul sketch on snl” and adam sandler’s turkey song also from snl. Not a high bar but it’s really good regardless

The episodes’ real strength though is it’s emotional core: For once instead of saving their own asses or understadnably wanting to get one over on the cranky and in the worse written episodes obnoxiously overbearing benson, they simply feel terrible about possibly runing the meal for their arriving parents and everyone elses parents and families and their friends and work to right the wrong. It’s not the first time they worked to do something genuinely good with no benefit to themselves, but it’s probably the best and Benson’s I forgive you, while hilarious is also really sweet. And speaking of sweet

It ends on a really sweet and touching note, as Mordecai and Rigby, after escaping a blimp via a wish on a golden wishbone because of course, make it home to find the various weirdos the park crew met have brought them thanksgiving, and their parents will be there and we get a nice touching ending as the main duo get a well earned toast from Benson. Just an out and out amazing thanksgiving special and a good reminder of what the holiday means.

8. Trucker Hall of Fame (Season 3, Episode 37)

Moving on from Season 5 for a second, Season 3 was where the show really started to hit it’s stride to me. While Season 2 was a nice increase in quality from the sometimes choppy and heavy on “everyone is an asshole” comedy season 1, Season 3 was where the increased focus on the rest of the cast outside of our main duo balloned and what seeds of character were planted in season 2 beautifully bloomed. And this episode is one of the best examples of that.  This one focuses on Muscle Man, who earlier on was basically the main duo’s rival alongside his buddy high five ghost, and kind of a dick. While “Kind of a dick” never left any discription of Mitch Sorenstein, this and previous episode muscle woman showed there was more to the goblin man than we thought. It’s also one of regular show’s few early mostly serious episodes and unlike the benson ones, again this list was tough don’t come at me with a machete, and realy showed why muscle man is the human tire fire he is. The episode introduces, and quickly kills off, muscle dad, mitch’s dad who gave him a love of pranks and was a truck driver who died as he live: mistaking a fake bear for a real one during a prank. Muscle Man being not the most stable person on a GOOD day, spirals, as seen above, and Benson tasks mordecai and rigby, since Fives isn’t good with death ironically and isn’t holding up much better, and as a much later episode shows the two became besties in high school so he probably knew muscle dad for a good ten years so he’s probably not in a great place either, nice stuff, to go with him to put his dad’s ashes in the trucker hall of fame.  What follows is a sweet and damn sad episode. While Mitch’s frequent breakkdowns can be hilarous their also really sad and having lost my grandpa since this episode aired, I can relate to being fine one minute and a total shrieking wreck the next over the smallest thing. But it also shows that Mitch genuinely thinks of our main duo as his friends, and that beneath his testorrone positned exterior he’s a decent guy, being genuinely greatful. Of course being regular show the 3 end up squaring off with some truckers, while Mitch also grappels with the revelation his dad wasn’t one but a forklift opperator who faked being a trucker for his son’s benifit and dleft a tender note in his picture, figuring correctly his son would break it open when he found out... oh and because this show is still nuts his ghost ends up saving them at the end which is really sweet , as mitch decides trucker or no his ashes deserve to be there. Also his ghost shows up again at thanksgiving so apparently he can just come back once in a while, which is nice but dosen’t demnish the bittersweet feeling of this ep. And as I said the show has a good grasp on continuity as this ep marked a turning point for our main duo and muscle man: while the’yve bonded before after this, aside from mitch’s habit of christmas pranks and his faking his death, they really don’t nearly get as annoyed by him ever again. i’ts a sweet touching ride tha’ts uncharacristic of the show’s usual chaos but really works. 

7. A Bunch of Full Grown Geese (Season 4, Episode 19) After a few episodes that were more sentimental on this list, it’s good to get back to some good old regular show madness for this one, which was also the series 100th in production order and is a worthy milestone episode. Season 4 was really good building on the good will from Season 3 and FINALLY having payoff to the margret and mordecai thing, more on that in a bit. Not as much to say as seasons 3 or 5, but it was still spectacular.  The sequel to another ep, fittingly given it’s #100, full grown geese has our duo tasked with removing a bunch of obnoxious geese, with Benson in dick mode refusing to give the two more help, though it does lead to one of the show’s best scenes when he gives his usual your fried threat.. and fitting a milestone episode, Rigby calls him on never going through with it and the threat being as empty as my dreams. Benson responds by going nuts and angrishing them out of his office.. really funny. But yeah with the geese attacking them and , in their first attacking, poor pops, and no way to combat them, the two turn to the baby ducks, a bunch of baby ducks from the episode titled that who show up to help.. and this being the 100th episode of an already grant morrison level nuts show, it turns out the geese seek to conquer earth, voiced by david warner of course and have laser eyes.. and can combine. And the ducks do so again, mecha style, and add in our heroes and a bunch of call backs in one of the series best and most batshit sequences> The ending is also throughly satisfying as while our heroes win, Benson chews them out for tearing up the park in the process.. only for the ducks mom to call him out for not only yelling at the ducks, who are just kids, but at mordecai and rigby after they just saved the park from being a smoldering crater and not just trashed and he backs off. Just a fun episode where the crew just went nuts and the results speak for themselves. 

6. This is My Jam (Season 2, Episode 13)

Now this one I couldn’t NOT include. This is one of the series best even after it’s immense growth, and a beloved classic for a reason. And like the above it’s a good classic case of regular show hyjinks while also being relatable this time: Rigby gets a brainless but catchy pop song from the 90′s stuck in his head and despite growing to hate it, and Mordecai hating it because this episode establishes him as a hipster, and seemingly exercises it.. only for it to manifest as a GIANT CASETTE WEARING SUNGLASSES THAT PLAYS THE SONG JUST BY EXISTING AND DANCES CONSTANTLY. it’s utterly glorious and used to great effect, also annoying benson because he’s constnatly annoyed. To beat it the main duo get the rest of the park’s help at Skips suggestion to form a band and craft an even BIGGER earworm to cast it out. Oh and there’s a great scene where Pops is forced to awkwardly dance with the incarnation of the 90′s “But I won’t use my best moves”.  The climax also has one of Benson’s best moments as, after he’s irritated all episode, he comes in hot, with both the cast and audience expecting him to chew out mordecai and rigby.. only he’s mad because they forgot drums are key to an earworm and saves the day with his drumwork. It’s a great subversion and one of the first times Benson was more than just the angry but understandable, at times, dickhead boss. Just an utter standout and one of the show’s most memorable episodes for a reason. Also the line “you can’t touch music but music can touch you’ is great. 

5. Meteor Moves ( Season 4, Episode 28)

This one was a long time coming and to me is a great example of writers taking their own shortcomings and making something awesome out of them. I prefer that: instead of just retconning away bad writing use it as a tool.. I try to do that myself when possible. See early in the show as you all probably know, Mordecai’s crush on Margret was just a plot device: he had a crush on the cute waitress at the coffee shop so they used it to get him to do things. A gratioutis shot of her in bike shorts got him to bet all computer rights for life that sort of thing. The show.. wasn’t great with female characters till season 3 and even as it grew, as season 6 and just.. forgetting to give CJ a proper ending as a character shows, still grappled with it. It took writer Kat Morris saying “no no stop go to jail” to them wanting ot make CJ a difficult woman type, whatever horrifying thing that is. I don’t want to know, let’s move on. The point is it wasn’t till season 3 that Margret and her best friends, and Rigby’s future wife, Eileen got fleshed out a bit: Eileen got smarter and turned out to be good at wilderness stuff while Margret was chill, nice, if annoyed by the chaos around mordecai, and funloving, while also having a clear goal in stark contrast to her future boyfriend: going to college. Even after coming back it was botha fter finsihing college and to start a career. It wasn’t incredibly deep, but it made me not be ehhh to her mere existance like before. The show also started developing her and Mordecai’s relationship seriously with the two bonding and the previously shown Butt Dial showing for the first time, after previously having a terrible taste in men and then just not noticing his crush, that she was receptive to how mordecai felt. And the two had several moments and two dates even, it just.. never went anywhere for some reason.

And this was INFURATING to me: See back then shows had a tendency to just pop in love intrests SOLEY for plot fuel like margret with no intention of following through with things either through rejection or a relationsihp upgrade and by then I was sick of it. The whole spike and rarity thing in MLP (which to be clear I wanted her to just reject him but nope, even after I stopped watching she never did. ), Isabella and Phineas. I was fed up so I went from being “eh” about it to annoyed supremely.. but the thing is the writers realized this.. and course corrected. The first step was picking up Margret, where Mordecai agrees to pick her up to get her to the airport for a college interview and we get a nice deconstruction of things as Margret is anticpatiing things going wrong, and wrongly blames Mordecai for it.. I mean it is his fault sometimes but half the time weird shit just follows him. However she’s won over by him working past it, getting her there in time and kisses him.  That blew me away and made me think well it’s finally here.. and it was.. ALMOST. However the creators wisely, if frustratingly to past me, took one more episode to iron it out: Metor Moves has the two growing closer, and semi-going out, but Rigby pops mordecai’s bubble pointing out he never actually made a boyfriend girlfriend move and her move could’ve gone either way. So Mordecai , after seasons of being wishy washy and awkward, finally decides to go for it as he, rigby, eileen and margret go to a metor shower.  Being Regular Show it dosen’t go as planned as his attempted kiss is blocked by the guardians of the friend zone.. which is a real, phantom zone esque place here and that’s just fantastic. And it’s also clearly mocking the hell out of the concept, which is dumb. if you want to ask someone out just do it, I learned that the hard way. And if you really are friends, if she says no then you’ll accept it and keep a friend anyway as I have. But it’s clearly parodying it and Mordecai get sreplayed all the times he ALMOST made a move but didn’t but refuses to accept this clusterfuck, realizes he was a screwup when it came to this.. and kisses her.. and this time the two enter a relationship> Granted it barely lasted but still, it was nice while it did and this ep is just great for it. While not the funniest, it’s up this high because it took somethign the show did wrong.. and turned it on it’s head and into a character flaw and had mordecai grow past it, with a genuinely romantic moment on top as well as an utterly funny and batshit concept. It also had some Rigleen, as by this point rigby stopped being a hateful wastebasket to her and warmed up to her, and I regret there’s no reigleen episodes on this list. Their the shows best couple and utterly adorable. Just wanted to mention that at least once this list. 

4. Laundry Woes (Season 5, Episode 1) From the begining to the end. While sadly Morderet didn’t last too long in canon, which blows, it did give us some great episodes while it lasted, as with the above entry and their breakup in Steak Me Amedeus. As mentioned before Margret left for college, which while abrupt feeling did pave the way for great stories: The Mordejay arc mentioned above and that will pop up again very soon, This was one of them: the ep while lacking on laughs is a good emotional rollercoaster and starts with an amazing montage that catches us up from the end of season 4: Mordecai is miserable, as you’d expect and wallowing in it with Benson, of all people, letting him. And given Benson seems to have a heart attack any time Mordecai and Rigby aren’t working, that’s huge. But eventually his friends refuse to let it go on and in a really touching montage help him through it, taking him out places, giving him good times and eventually.. the fog starts to lift and he starts to enjoy himself and by the end.. he’s himself again. It’s one of the series best sequences, told with no dialouge and showing just how far the rest of the cast had come: Benson actually wants to comfort mordecai but is encouraged not to at first, underfstandably as it probably woudlnt’ help, and a crew that were once, aside from Pops who much like Krillin is everyone’s friend, just coworkers who barely tolerated each other, and are now close as family and help their own in need.  But Grief isn’t a straight line and just as Mordecai’s recovering he’s sent spiraling when he finds Margret’s sweater and uses ita s a flimsy excuse to go return it. It’s here I also get to talk about Rigby, who grew from an impatient idiot who hated Mordecai’s romantic endevors and actively sabtoaged them at times, to an understandting wing man who, while understandably frustrated with his best friend’s own idiocy with women, turned out to know more and be the wise council he needed, triggering both is relationships and only bailing out during the season 6 clusterfuck and even then was there to comfort him after it was all over and go to his aid to pull him out of another misery hole. And here he gives Mordecai the hard truth: He shoudln’t do this, it’s just going to tear both him and margret up again and he just put himself back together. He’s not going to let his best friend do this to himself. And while there is a supernatural elment, the sweater comes to life and tries to get Mordecai to force margret back with him and give up college, likely voicing his darkest wants that he hates himself for wanting, but it feels more like a manfiestation of Mordecai’s own issues than the usual madness. Like “Trucker hall of Fame”, a rare senntence, it’s a less funny packed more grounded episode. And in the end it’s mordecai himself, after rejecting the ghost sweater and seeing his ex truly happy , that gets him to NOT talk to her and just.. let it go. IT’s a good emotional episode and SHOULD HAVE BEEN the end of their relationship... but i’ve ranted about the cheating storyarc enough here, moving right along. 

3. Portable Toilet (Season 5, Episode 16) Back to the Mordejay arc. And yes this arc is my faviorite and while I didn’t make it clear at the time I really shipped the two, even before it became canon. I had nothing against morderet, these two simply had more chemistry and these episodes built CJ up as more of a character than Margret was at the time. It’s why that later arc sucks so much to me: it destroys a perfectly good relationship and story arc for dumb reasons and never really did enough with it to justify doing so. I’ll get to it some day, or if someone comissions it soone rthan some day, but as you can tell i’m still sore over it and great eps like this are part of the reason why. It’s the same reason i’m sore on how Tom was handled on star vs. But as you can also tell as bitter and lemon scented as I am.. these eps are still objectivley great and thus took up a third of the list basically.  Case in point Portable Toilet, which zooms back a bit to when neither would admit they were into each other but were now friends at least. Also Eileen was CJ”s friend now because plot convience. I mean they worked, and it bothers me a lot that the creators claim cj washed her hands of her even though she’s not the one who made out with margret... which come to think of it adding her to rigleen.. not a bad idea. I mean Rigby didn’t really like margret true, but they did almost go out before mordecai killed him and then reset time because Mordecai’s always kinda sucked. I’ll file that away for later. But my new OTP aside, I did like the two bonding and what not.  Anyways with their outside park friend/RIgby’s future girlfriend now friends with Mordeai’s future girlfriend the four have apparently been hanging out which, while i’ve bemoaned off screen stuff at times, works here and regular show uses it better than most shows. While Rigby can clearly see Mordecai and CJ are into each other Mordecai is as we covered in denial and while that dosen’t really progress here, it does lead to one of teh shows finest hours. When talking would you rathers, CJ semi-flirtly dares Mordecai to eat his lunch sandwitch in a portable toilet, which he agrees to and drags a reluctant rigby along for. This being regular show, it goes south fast as the two get stuck, with Rigby’s clautrophiba kicking in leading to an amazing exchange Mordecai; Dude that makes no sense! Rigby: You’s makes no sense! While our dynamic duo try to get mordecai and rigby out the two are carted away and repalced with a new portable toilet, a deluxe one. Also we get another great bit when our dynamic duo find Muscle man, in a robe with choclate’s claming “Eileen, other girl, this isn’t weird” before screaming “This isn’t weird”. Turns out old portable toilets are taken to be blown up by the miltary and we get one of the shows best one off characters in the general, who not only explains it as “toilets being about the same size as the enmy” but when told he should call the president says “the preseident is not my father i’ll blow up as many toilets as I want.”. Spectacular. So now it’s a scramble for one twosome to rescue the other, Rigby lets out a cathartic “THANK YOUUU MORDECAI” over the flirty toilet dare, and the day is saved> This one is another pure comedy one, even if it ties into a plot I really like, and i’ts gold for obvious reasons and manages to take blowing up porta poties, a premise that dosen’t seem that funny, and make it utter comedic gold. Speaking of pure comic episodes that are utterly insane...

2. Cool Bikes (Season 3, Episode 7)

This one feels like regular show boiled down to it’s core: semi-relabtale hyjinks dovetalling into pure madness. And the premise sounds like a shit post i’d make: Mordecai and Rigby want benson to admit their cool and get into progressively weird outfits and tricks to their bycycles to do so, eventually becoming so cool their put on trial by the council of cool , ending up having to make a runner when Benson finally breaks down and admits it.  The premise is utterly stupid in the best way possible, with the conflict being the kind of petty bullshit we all get into from time to time with our aquantinces: not wanting to admit something and loose the argument withthings escalating. And in regular show terms it escalate sperfectly into the entire unvierse being threatned adn our heros being on trial for their lives. There’s not much to say here, it’s just pure comedic gold with a premise that just works. It also has good moments for Benson with his finally admitting they are cool and saving the duo’s lives whne he realized he just gave them a death sentence. Utter fun. And now we come to the finale, my faviorite episode...

1. Dodge This (Season 5, Episode 15) 

Yup this arc again. But this one has more than my ship going for it, and it’s why it soared to the top: It takes the excellent character work of other episodes and weaves it with excellent comedy to create an utter delight and the episode I remember most fondly and most often. It’s just great. The second part of the Mordeijay arc, not counting yes dude yes, the episode is half that and half sports movie: The Park Guys have been taking part in dodgeball as a team bulding thing and it shows how far Benson’s come as he not only praises mordecai, and launches the mordecai and benson ship in the process, but gives his team full wings and his full support, a far cry from his usual self. It’s also the first big instance of him getting hammered on wings and it’s glorious to see drunk flirty benson.  Benson is also genuinely congratulatory to the team’s ace mordecai, and most of them realy for b eing valuable and hopes to win this year.  IN their way are two things: The magical elements, aka the floating baby heads that gave skips his immortality, his friend with sparkly eyes who works for them and death himself whose a recurring character and fucking great and who were their bowling rivals too. The other is CJ is back, and Benson in another good moment actually talks mordecai through it and his nerves over it assuring him. So we get a great sports piece as our heroes work through various callbacks and even beat the magical elements iwth Rigby’s hilarious and rediculous rignado manuver, which is as dumb as it sounds and winged a guy hilaroiusly before with Benson scolding him like a toddler.  Of course it ends up with Mordecai and CJ against each other, both incredibly awkard over things as mentioned before, and both ending up in a stalmate that magical dodgeball guardians have to resolve because, let’s do this one last time. IT’S REGULAR SHOW. We do get a good moment though as the two work through their awkwardness: both thinking the other is rightfully mad: Mordecai for his two timer date with her and Margret and CJ for running out without talking to mordecai after they had a moment on new years. The both work past it, the park strikers loose,benson likely gets hammered again off screen.. it’s a good one and I have no shame in putting it at number one. It’s got heart, really great jokes, and some good charcter stuff, not to the level of other episodes on this list, but it wasn’t a full episode of that like those were and still works to move the plot forward and is still a classic. Just a fun, breezy, well done epsidoe fully rooted in the cast’s characters and getting laughs out of that.. mostly benson.  And with that this giangantic list comes to a close> I hope you enjoyed it, if you liked it follow me for more. I’ll be doing close enough coverage every week, as well as amphibia and owl house among other reviews. Until we meet again, later days. 

[hermeticimp]

Witchy Then Vs. Now #WakingWitchblr

Hey guys! So, I’ve seen a bunch of posts on witchy things we’ve done as children. I really love the idea and have been meaning to do a post on it for the longest, but I wanted to add a bit of a twist. Instead of just making a list, I want to compare and contrast my childhood witchy things to my practice now. This is definitely something I want to see other people’s takes on as well, so feel free to tag this under the #WakingWitchblr or #WitchyThenVsNow. Without further ado, I’m going to do mine! 

Elemental Work

Then: I was super into shows like Shaolin Showdown and Pokemon, which had plenty of abilities that were linked to particular elements. Back then, I found myself very attracted to fire, wishing that I could have the ability to manipulate it. Kimiko was my favorite because of that (besides the fact that she was the only female member of the group). I was also into water pokemon like Squirtle and Staryu. I found it funny when I found out I was a Fire Rat under the Chinese zodiac. Despite knowing that Libra was an air sign, I identified more with the passion and intensity of fire. 

Now: I work with all the elements! XD Nah, but seriously, now I see the strengths and weaknesses of each element, then use whichever one or ones work best for the situation. I do a lot of work with fire through candle and sun magic. I work with water via cleansing, water magic, and lunar magic. I use earth when grounding, relaxing, and using crystals and my wooden wand. I use air when I work with the wind, humidifiers/diffusers, and incense. I still love fire, but not so much for the cool factor. I find myself much more aligned to air now, actually. Of course, I now know I’m an air sun, fire moon, and water rising, so that’s entertaining. 

Astrology

Then: Speaking of signs, when I first picked up an astrology book in the 3rd grade, I was only aware of sun signs, as most people do when first stepping into the subject. I was fascinated by the different signs and figuring out who was which based on birthday. I would read off sections from books or apps I had and found it hilarious when people freaked out about how accurate things were. In middle school, I started learning about moon and risings signs. It was an interesting experience, but I still focused more on sun signs. 

Now: Goodness gracious, I’ve come so far. XD Not to say I’m an expert at all - far from it - but I now understand more about astrology as a whole. I can read a birthchart, I have an astrology mentor, I understand that there are placements for each of the 10 planets. Astrology has become a major aspect of of my craft. I (try to) follow the moon cycles and other transits. I utilize astrology in my divination readings. I’m fascinated by seeing the different ways people express each of their placements and their charts as a whole. I’m a student of astrology (primarily modern and evolutionary) who is always eager to learn more. Soon, I’ll share some of my notes, but not quite yet. 

Astronomy

Then: I was super into reading books on space as a child. I often found myself nose deep, learning about galaxies, stars, black holes, meteors, comets, and so on. It wasn’t odd to find me staring up at the stars and Moon whenever I had the chance. I was fascinated by astronomical events, like meteor showers or lunar eclipses. I adored planetariums. I wanted the glow-in-the-dark star stickers on my ceiling like my cousins had. I wanted a constellation projector. I was ecstatic to work on a project regaring Haley’s Comet. Space excited and thrilled me in a way nothing else did. 

Now: It’s a shame, but I don’t really focus on space much outside of celestial magic and astrology. Don’t get me wrong, I still find space exciting and I will always have eyes for the Moon and the stars, but I’m not keeping up with the science like I used to. There’s still a sense of affection when I happen to read articles on new discoveries or technology or when I see pictures of the solar system and galaxies. However, my focus is mainly on the movements of the heavenly bodies and how that impacts us. I work with the energy of different planets through associations and timing spells for planetary hours, but that’s about it. 

Crystals

Then: Oooh, boy. So I was a major nerd as a kid (if you haven’t caught onto that by now. Honestly still AM. XD), so I adored going on science trips. At museums, it was common to find all kinds of rough crystals for cheap. I thought they were cool. I loved the colors and the feel of them against my fingers. I was drawn to rough rose quartz, amethyst, granite, and quartz back then. With tumbled stones, it was amethyst, ruby, sapphire, topaz, and tiger’s eye. I collected them as a child and was always excited to add to it. This interest kind of faded out as I went on less and less school trips to science museums. 

Now: You will pry crystals out of my cold, dead hands. XD Seriously though, I have a whole bunch of crystals. I keep them on my altars, in a metal box by my bed, and all over my room, honestly. I favor tumbled stones more than rough ones, but there’s still an affection for rough rose quartz and quartz. I adore tiger’s eye, amethyst, carnelian, moss agate, and amazonite.Crystals are a major part of my work. I use them in just about all of my spells, from the ritualistic ones to minor aches and pains-based ones. I occasionally meditate with them. I will most likely be found wearing some kind of crystal jewelry. My spells may be infrequent, but they’re a regular ingredient (which I’ll get into in another post). 

Animism

Then: As a child, I believed everything had some kind of spirit, from the stars, to the Moon, to the wind, to my stuffed animals. I remember talking in my head to the moon anytime I could. I imagined hearing her speak back to me (and a lunar deity very well could have been, who knows?). I remember when I would play games reminescent of Noah’s ark, wanting to bring everything I loved with me in the event of a disaster. I’d place all my toys under my blankets and feel at ease, knowing that everything was safe and had its place. I very well could have been influenced by media like Toy Story or Cars. Either way, I vividly remember all of that. 

Now: I now know that this is the concept of animism. It’s an ideology that I still believe in whole-heartedly. I still talk to my stuffed animals (room’s full of them), I’ve dedicated some to my deities, I’ve spoken to the spirits of plants and trees, I greet the Sun and talk to the Moon as I used to, I have a spirit in my pendulum. It’s a part of my practice and philosophy. I’m not as all over the place with it as I was a child, but it still matters deeply to me. 

Mythology

Then: I was first introduced to mythology by a friend in 5th grade, as I’ve mentioned before on this blog. Or rather, I was introduced to Greek mythology at that time. I had grown up reading Native American and African stories, such as those of Anansi. I found Greek mythology to be fascinating. Haven grown up in a Christian family (though my parents were rather lax about it and encouraged us to explore our personal beliefs), I’d read the Bible plenty of times. I didn’t really believe in those stories, particularly because God was either portrayed as an omniscient and violent being or omniscient, omnipotent being of perfection and love. Neither sat right with me. It also didn’t make sense to me for there to only be one god. So when I read myths as a child and learned what polytheism was, I jumped on that ship in a heartbeat. I didn’t worship anyone, but I loved the idea that there were gods of different things. With Greek mythology, I especially loved it because the gods were portrayed as having flaws, of being human in a sense. They were powerful, but not all-powerful. It was mindblowing to me at the time. I fell in love with the stories of heroes and tricksters, I expanded into Egyptian, Norse, and Japanese mythology. I took these stories as stories but also as accurate depictions of gods. 

Now: Mythology... doesn’t really play a part in my practice. Contray to some polytheists, I don’t take the myths seriously. To me, all they are are human made stories about higher entities. I used to get so angry when I imagined the horrific things that deities did. I balked when I saw people question why worship or work with these deities that were notorious for doing horrific things to each other and humans? I made jokes about Zeus and his supposed indescretions, which I largely regret now. The turning point, I believe, was hearing @underworldariel​ discuss how you didn’t need to follow the myths or worship if that didn’t feel right. And for me, it didn’t. Suddenly, it made sense. When I started considering the cultural aspect of mythology and began working directly with deities rather than attempting to worship them, things were easier. They slotted into my practice effortlessly. I do take some inspiration from myths, namely associations, relationships, and domains, but not much else. To me, they’re just stories - which is what myths means. There’s a part of me that cringes away from the people who use mythology in a literal manner to call Zeus or Poseidon or Hades a rapist despite that... not being the truth? And that “rape” had a waaaaaay different meaning back then. I’m not saying the gods are perfect and infalliable - I think they make mistakes and have regrets too - but I don’t think they have anything to do with the stories. Deity work is a core aspect of my craft. I adore the gods with my whole heart. The stories are still fun, but I’ve learned to dissociate them from the gods I know. I’m not saying that this is the right way to approach it - that depends on you. That’s just my take on it. 

And that concludes this post! At least for now. I may find some things to add later. I’m curious to see the comparisons you guys all come up with. Feel free to tag me if you do! 

[arkus-rhapsode]

Rhapsode’s Top 10 Favorite Fire Emblem Antagonists

Hey guys, so I wanted to do something a bit special because of a few asks I’ve gotten from time to time. Namely, who are my favorite villains in FE. Thing is, I wanted to do something with this for a while outside of an ask, and hear I am.

Now before I even start, these are all MY OPINIONS. These are my favorite antagonists in FE, not some objective masterlist that means anyone who isn’t on here is a bad villain. If you agree with me on this list, great! If you think I got everything wrong, I respect that opinion.

So if I left out any of your personal favorite villains in FE, let me know in a reply or reblog.

Now a little bit of criteria on how I had made choices,

Uniqueness: What does a villain bring as a character. Because FE is nothing if not a bit archetypal.

Impact on the Narrative: Now I think a good villain should be an active participant in the narrative as well as have a level of relevance. They also should have relation to the lore of the world they’re in.

Personality: In my opinion even a poorly written character with a magnetic presence can be more tolerable than a poorly written character with no personality

Were they satisfying of a boss in game: While FE emphasizes narrative, it has some terrific gameplay. So I would hope the opposing units really give you a run for your money.

Oh and fair warning, this will have spoilers.

With all that out of the way, sit back and I’ll tell you all about my favorite FE villains!

10. Uhai (Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade)

Yeah, so, we’re starting with probably the most tertiar antagonist on this list. While Uhai might not seem that important in the grand scheme of things. Being a Black Fang member who’s scared of what Nergal is going to do and is out for Ninian. 

So why did I pick him over other Black Fangs or Saceans?

Well in terms of Saceans, I really felt Uhai brought the most personality compared to someone like Glass, who was pretty basic. Especially for Lyn’s final villain. Uhai definitely felt the most… “Sacean,” if that makes sense. Having a code of honor and integrity. As well as acting on self preservation.

And while Uhai isn’t my favorite Black Fang, he shows something different as being one of the original fangs and having this sense of honor. Which was a really nice reminder about the humble origins of the Black Fang.

I also really like how he could’ve easily killed Lyn when he kidnapped her, but let her go to kill her as a warrior. Given Lyn’s underlying theme of fighting sexism, to have an opponent that didn’t factor in her gender and would fight her on equal terms, it was a really cool scene.

Sadly, he’s just a minor antagonist and if he got more time like being a part of the Four Fangs, I think he could’ve really added more.

9. Orson (Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones)

Orson seems pretty simple all things considered. He loved his wife, Monica, and after losing her, he is willing to make a deal with the devil to bring her back. It’s not much, but I think what plays into the effectiveness is seeing him before his wife is revived and having him on your team, then watching what he has become after her revival.

Having a villain who starts off as a playable character and then later is an antagonist is always tricky. From a story perspective, you spent time with them that even you, the player, feel negatively affected by the heel turn. However, from a gameplay aspect, it's a tad annoying if you spent time grinding them. 

Orson, is pretty obvious in that he’ll be turning against you, but we really see him as a somewhat charming and endearing guy at first. But then when he returns to Renais to be with his wife, it leads to one of the most unsettling narrative shifts I think FE has done.

We see him now in charge of Renais, but now more mentally disturbed, physically malnourished, and locking himself away from the rest of the kingdom to be with his wife. Seeming like magic has possessed him. But when you find that this is due to being reunited with his wife who is now just a corpse that can only say “Darling” you really feel this messed up mood permeating the chapter.

There's so much unsaid, and I think that it works to the advantage of the story. Comparing the Orson you meet when he’s your ally to the Orson you meet as an opponent, it really doesn’t need to be said how he fell so hard. That Orson has given up so much and now that he has his wife back he’s just convincing himself that she’s alive.

While another villain on this list did the heel turn far better than Orson, I still think that the sheer shock of Orson’s story really makes you feel for him, while just wanting to end him.

8. Bloom, Hilda, Ishtar and Ishtore (Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War)

So this one is definitely cheating. 

While only two members of the Friege family could really stand on their own as definable villains, I actually think when all are together they offer something more unique for FE. Families of villains are a bit of a rarity in FE, especially ones whose family dynamic is well defined in the main story, and not supports. 

But with Bloom, Ishtar, and Ishtore, you get to fight all of them in a chapter thanks to the set up of the Genealogy of the Holy War. It allows for a more unique encounter and this growing feeling of outrage if you end up killing a member of the family.

House Friege continuing on as secondary antagonists in the second generation was a great addition. Giving this sense of history repeating itself, with Bloom seemingly no better than Reptor from the first generation, but where as he is a power hungry politician, Bloom shows some shades of gray in his detestment of Child Hunts and actually being a somewhat decent father figure to Tine. Which actually leads to some interesting contrast to his wife, Hilda.

Hilda is easily the most monstrous of the family, and while I was considering her to be her own separate entry, as she is possibly the most wicked and cruel female villains in the entire franchise. Driving Tailtiu to death, and using Ishtar as a step towards more power. Her additional role a matriarch of the household who married for Bloom’s money and power, adds an extra layer to the band of villains.

Ishtar and Ishtore also offer a role as both not being Child Hunt supporters but act in different ways to them. With Ishtore not getting involved and instead spending more time on Liza and Ishtar actually working with Arvis to free the children rounded up.

As a family unit, it offers a lot of unique villain interaction that I’m sad the limited technology of the time couldn’t capture all of. I’m glad that games like Fates have tried making family units as opponents, but I’d like to see a dynamic similarly fleshed out as the Frieges.

7. Jedah (Fire Emblem Gaiden/Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia)

Okay, how the hell did this guy so high up on the list? No joke, Jedah started at the bottom when I first started this list. I mean, he’s just another Gharnef. What makes him all that different from Nergal or Manfroy?

Well, truth be told, what got Jedah so high up for me is presentation. A lot of Gharnefs are the big game manipulators, and sometimes that can be frustrating if you’re not really in the character. I think Manfroy is one of the most effective villains, but he’s not particularly stand out. 

Nergal is a far more justifiable villain with his motivations, but he’s basically corrupted by “Darkness.”

Jadah, especially in FE15, oozes personality and charisma. I give a lot of points to his more inhuman design that went beyond just making his a wrinkly old man. As well as his expressions. When playing Three Houses, I was shocked at how stone-faced Thales was. But with Jedah, I feel like the artists took a lot of opportunity in giving him a face that could contort in such a way to to sell how much of a schemer and villain he was. 

He has this look of a guy you love to hate.

Also, in terms of story, Jedah really does eclipse Rudolf as a villain (Yes I know, Rudolf is not really a villain) and is easily a more proactive villain than even Berkut. While Jedah serves Duma faithfully, the purple baddie still seems to have done more as an antagonist then the detriorting dragon.

He’s really the most satisfying overarching villain next to Berkut. And power, don’t get me started. While Gharnef’s Imhullu seemed relatively foreshadowed on how he wouldn’t be beaten by normal means, the first time I fought Jedah, I was surprised just how much of a gap in power there was between us. As well as the terrors he summons for the first time are more lovecraftian than the other terrors you fought before.

While Jedah is definitely a fun villain, his greatest weakness is that he is unquestionably in the morally black category. The man sacrificed his own daughters to prove his loyalty. Before then, there was a bit of an argument to be made that witches were just a sign of society and that offering up your soul for more power was just common in a power focused structure. But sacrificing your daughters is a tad on the unforgivable side.

As well as his end goal is really just war and conquest, while being Duma’s number one servant. So ultimately, he’s not very complex. But that lack of complexity still added a chaotic edge to Echoes that was really welcomed.

6. Reinhardt (Fire Emblem: Thracia 776)

Now speaking of complexity here we get, who I consider the best of the Camus archetype. First off, I really like how Reinhardt is built up as the second coming of Crusader Thurd. Especially if you’ve played FE4 and know just how much of an obstacle Ishtar, Bloom and Ishtore were. 

Second is just how tragic his story is. I never really cared for the romance between Camus and Nyna, so at times I didn’t really care for his internal conflict. But the fact that Reinhardt has eyes for Ishtar to the point that Julius is feeling jealous and stripping him of his title. You also get the heartbreak of his sister, Olwen choosing to side against and how much denial he feels until Saias needs to point out how Olwen made this choice herself.

It’s just sad to see a guy who comes off as so imposing and level-headed have so much internal strife because his convictions of loyalty keep putting him on the wrong side of things. At times it feels like you can invest more into him than Lief, I really hope to see an expanse of him in a remake.

Reinhardt is not a character I enjoyed fighting because I wanted to see him be with the Liberation Army. He’s suffered from Julius’s pettiness. He knows how bad things have gotten with Grannvale’s expansion. Yet he just won’t because of his loyalty to his home. 

(I like to think that if you release him, he goes onto serve Tine and Arthur.)

Now, as I said, he still fits that Camus archetype. But unlike Camus or someone like Xander, I wish I had more of an expansion of his loyalty to Friege. I know he loves Ishtar and he probably has some ego built up about “second coming.” But if you’re not a fan of, “he did this out of love.” You’re probably not gonna like him. As a lot of the Camus archetype have always suffered from a, “why are you so loyal.”

People like Dedue and Catherine had the benefit of being playable characters, so you could support them and peel back a lot of their reasonings. And even Camus got more of a reason when he became Zeke and was saved and given a new life in Rigel.

So while Reinhardt makes for a great adversary, I do find him leaving me wanting more that other rival characters could give me.

5. Grima (Fire Emblem: Awakening)

(Note: I’m using masculine descriptors for Grima because I’m personally more used to male Grima and male Robin)

Here’s another baddie I wasn’t too sure where I was gonna put on the list. I knew I wanted him on here, but again, I wasn’t expecting Grima to be so high. He’s built up all throughout Awakening, as well as turning out to be reincarnated in the main character, Robin. Already does push him up on the list. But if you were to dissect his personality, he’s really just your godly final villain, who condescends down on you.

But there’s actually a lot more to this monster than you’d expect.

At first, I see a lot of similarities between him and Duma: Cult worshipers, really powerful dragon, catalyst for a war etc. But Duma as a villain is due to the dragon deterioration. Sure, he’s got bad followers, but losing his sanity kinda enabled them. But Grima… This guy wants to wipe out all life because he can.

Grima is much more a force of nature as a villain. He doesn’t try to dress up his simplistic desire with fancy philosophy. No, he embraces just how above everyone he is and how he’ll enjoy wiping them out. 

Not only that, but design-wise… Holy crap.

The sheer size and power of Grima, coupled with one of the most unique designs for a dragon, makes for a truly nightmarish foe. The boney, almost mechanical way Grima turns his head when ready to attack, just sends shivers down my spine. His size and pension for only wanting to destroy all life really gives off this sense of being an inevitability. A force that can not be stopped from washing over the world.   

It really works with the overall theme of Awakening. Robin trying to forge his own identity and is not tied down to fate. But how exactly can you fight that fate when its just so intimidating? Why with friends, of course! The final moments of Robin and Chrom slaying Grima is one of the most tragic things I’ve watched. With Robin knowing he needs to die to prevent Grima, but the only way to kill Grima is with a Falchion in the hands of Chrom. So Robin must be slain by his best friend, the one he’s gone through hell with and gave him a chance at making this new life for himself. It’s a final battle that breaks my heart.

Speaking of final battles, Grima offers one of the most unique environments for a final battle. Using that monstrous size to serve as a stage for your final fight against the Grimleal on the back of their god. Not to mention the priest warping in to keep bogging you down as you try to get off that killing blow on the Fell Dragon.

The background added by Shadows of Valentia about a young Grima actually being an alchemic monstrosity made to find a way to cheat death not only elevates Grima thematic impact, but also make him more like a lovecraftian horror. Which is something rare in this series. 

That said, the biggest fault in this character is hw sidelined he is. There’s nothing wrong with a simplistic villain, but even in Robin form, Grima really doesn’t take much part in the events. I would’ve liked more interactions with him and Chrom or Robin before the revival.

I also completely understand if someone doesn't care for the “kill all people in the world,” type of villain. What is the endgame after destroying everything? Guess make some zombies. 

I do argue that Grima being a force of nature makes him unique to the whole point of “what happens next?” But again, as a finally boss, I can see if that’s not your style. And while I think the simplicity is kinda beautiful, I myself have a preference for more complex villains.

4. The Black Knight (Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance/Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn)

Hoo boy, I’m not gonna make any friends with this one.

How do I even talk about this guy properly? Mainly due to some narrative… Disconnects... between Path of Radiance and Radiant Dawn. Well I’ll just try and keep with his outing in Path of Radiance.

Black Knight has easily some of the most thematic presence in the series. His anonymous name and sleek design make almost all of his cutscenes a treat. Just stepping onto the battlefield and killing Greil, with the only hint of who he is being that he was one of Greil’s former students already sets him up as an anomaly.

But something you notice quickly, Black Knight has chivalry. He offers to give Greil the legendary blade of Ragnell so they can have an even fight. Sure, Black Knight wants to kill his mentor to prove he has become better, but he’s not gonna do it unfairly. And he lets Ike keep Ragnell, so that he can truly grow as strong as Greil and then give him a true fight.

Speaking of Ragnell, I actually love how it and Black Knight’s Alondite blade are sister swords. Setting up for a rivalry that goes beyond just Ike getting revenge for his dad. It leads to a lot of interesting encounters over the course of the game, building up to a crescendo of when Ike will finally defeat the armored menace.  It honestly makes for a more compelling final brawl than Ashnard.

Also with Ashnard, we come back to that whole chivalry thing. Because while Ashnard displays himself as a “Mad King,” Black Knight still honorably serves him. In fact, while I’ve seen many people debate the true identity of Black Knight, I actually like the idea that he was just a student of Greil. He needs no true identity except being an embodiment of knightly principles and power.

For all the good and bad that entails.

Leading to great parallels between him and Ike. Ike being a mercenary whose principles differ so much from the Black Knight make him an ideal opponent for the Black Knight.

Now all that said, we need to get to the big but. The actual identity of the Black Knight being Zelgius raises a lot of questions and messes with the consistency of the story. I genuinely feel like it would be more powerful if Zelgius was his own character. While the ambiguity of the Black Knight added to his.

The best moment in Radiant Dawn for me is honestly his end, where he’s at least proud to have helped perfected Ike’s swordplay. But after that, I can’t exactly say he’s the same character. And that unfortunately keeps him from being any higher on the list.

3. Berkut (Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows of Valentia)

Top 3, everyone! And we’re kicking it off with the Rigelean Prince, Berkut.

After coming off Fates, there was this really big cloud hanging over the FE fandom if they’d actually be able to recover from their dip in storytelling. And then Echoes came up with the game-exclusive addition of Berkut. 

Berkut really was a return to for with understandable villains. Having grown up being a noble of Rigel and as nephew of Rudolf next in line for the throne. In a society that prides itself on power, Berkut was only ever asked to be strong enough to ascend to that title of king.

And when you first see him dancing with Rinea, he really does seem invincible. Dancing in the conquered halls of Zofia Castle with his one true love as he does not need to take to the battlefield to assist in fighting the Deliverance. Only bothering to fight Alm as “sport.”

At first, he really just comes off as an arrogant Blue Blood that you wanna knock off his horse. But after he loses once and sees Alm’s brand, it just starts this downward spiral. Begging is uncle for one more chance, rejecting the help of Nuibaba’s mirror, only to use it out of fear that he might actually not be able to win against Alm.

Also, massive props to Ian Sinclair as Berkut’s english voice. As FE had started going fully dubbed, Sinclair brings such a performance as the deteriorating prince.

I like he even makes more dynamics with the Duma Faithful, believing that they’re supposed to serve his house and respect him, but Jedah counters that their real allegiance is to Duma. Tempting Berkut with his power. But Berkut himself even finds Duma’s strength disgusting.

When he finally falls after Rudolf naming Alm his true heir, so see just how low he’s fallen as he sacrifices Rinea to make his pact with Duma and use his new mystical enhancements to take out the Deliverance golden boy Alm, once and for all.

Berkut’s story is easily an ideal tragic character. Very powerful and smart, but flawed. His own fears motivating his actions as well as the constraints of his society and family pressure. Add on how he’s made that he will not marry Rinea until he becomes Emperor, as he feels that is only when he’s worthy enough, and this guy’s basically telegraphing the grave he’s about to dig himself.

No way can I undersell how much Berkut seemingly revived faith in writing for future FE antagonists as the series was still suffering from the… mixed reaction to Fates.

2. Edelgard von Hresvelg (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)

God what have I not said about Edelgard? Well if you want to read more comprehensive stuff I’ve written about her, you can find it here.

But in short, Edelgard was a phenomenal twist character. Built up slowly over the course of the game and the fact someone as high as a lord would secretly be planning to destroy the church was a shock. 

Her role as the most intellectual of the three house leaders, motivated by logic and pragmatism offered a unique opposition to the over emotional Dimitri. Her being the product of crest experimentation and the second wielder of the crest of flames makes for a pretty powerful backstory. Not to mention being one of the few lords whose political system we fully get to see realize. With the multiple ministers having robbed power from her family.

Her relationship with Dimitri is also one of the sweetest villain backstories. You see the two actually sit down and try to end this and you know it’s probably only because of their shared past. The oath of the dagger of how they both have made their own paths that veer off in different directions is the first signs of turmoil that El has felt ever since her declaration of war.

And then there’s her final fight. I don’t think I have felt a more satisfying final battle than with Hagemon Husk Edelgard. The long throne room crawl as guards and monsters poured in to try and stand in your way. All whlie Edelgard tries to snipe at you from a distance with her new fireball technique. 

Also if were giving points to acting, Tara Platt brings a great performance as both Edelgard and the Flame Emperor.

Now like Black Knight, the biggest flaw is a lot of minute nitpicks that really add up over the multiple routes. The Black Eagle route even seems to do away with a lot of Edelgards ambiguity. But if you stick to BL and GD Edelgard, you have one of the best antagonists in the series. Leaving me excited what FE17 has in store.

1. Arvis (Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War)

Yeah, you all knew this one was coming. The OG Flame Emperor himself, Arvis.

So for those who don’t know, Arvis was basically Edelgard before Edelgard. Having watched corrupt nobles run Grannvale for a time as well as grown up under the self destructive Duke Victor, Arvis had intended to make Grannvale a more fair world. Free of prejudice and pain.

Use the feuding lords to his advantage to claim land and renown, Arvis also stayed by the current King of Grannvale, Azmur. Earning him some brownie points. Arvis’s alliance with Manfroy and the Lopto Sect ultimately leads to him getting his chance at the throne. With Manfroy finding the long lost granddaughter (and wife of Sigurd) Deirdre,  wiping her memory clean and “conveniently” leaving her for Arvis to find and fall in love with. 

By marrying and impregnating the newly found prince, Arvis was named Emperor Regent by Azmur till their child came of age. However, to unilaterally have Grannvale under his control, he had to take out Sigurd in one of the most heartbreaking scenes in the history of FE, The Belhalla Massacre.

At first Arvis seems like this manipulative puppet master with delusions of conquest, but the more you learn about him and the environment he came from. Arvis truly wants to make a better and more fair world. And unlike someone like Zephiel, he doesn’t think that means wipe out all humans. You see that he doesn’t even hold contempt for Sigurd, more indifference as he regrets that Sigurd would not be able to see Arvis’s new world.

But with his ultimate tragedy being that faustian deal he cut with Manfroy ultimately led to the birth of Julius. Who, with the Major Loptous blood, would go on to not only be Loptous’ vessel, but also wrestle away power from Arvis. The tragic irony of what secured his hold on the throne being what ultimately makes him lose it. Add on some more angst as he realizes that Deirdre is actually his half sister and that Manfroy’s intention was for them to bear a child like Julius, you have easily one of the most tragic tales in FE.

We also see more of the dynamics of Arvis in the Seliph book of FE4. Actually trying to save all the children taken by Julius with Ishtar. As well as his love for his own children, Julius and Julia, going out of his way to save Julius and finally face his reckoning against Seliph.

His battle is brutal, as after what he did to Sigurd, you want to beat down Arvis with Seliph. You want nothing more but to his rule. But as you’ve gone on, you see just how much of person Arvis is. And while you want Seliph to get his vengeance, it doesn’t make the fight any easier as you are left to wonder what things would be like if Arvis was Emperor without Manfroy using Julius.

 His final words to Seliph just echo in your head, making you wish there was a better way this could’ve turned out.

If there is one negative I could say about Arvis, its the fact he basically monopolizes the story for his own. His actions basically pushing so much of the narrative he eclipses Sigurd. But honestly, if we got a remake with more time devoted to character interaction in Sigurd’s army, I think it would balance out nicely.

Welp, that’s my Top 10 FE antagonists. Let me know if you agree or disagree. And if this gets enough hits, I might do similar posts in the future. Till next time, take care!

[wingsoffireaus]

Bright Futures: Nightwing Royal Family

Name: Darkstalker

Character Summary: In this AU Darkstalker did not grow up with an abusive father and is much more well rounded and to put it bluntly sane individual. He did not seek out power until the day his queen ordered for his dragonets deaths after hearing a prophecy from Allknowing claiming one of his eldest would ascend the throne. Not willing to allow any harm to happen to his dragonets he challenged Vigilance for the throne and won. He is actually a well loved ruler by many of the common folk although many nobles would like to see him dethroned and have a proper Queen in place again.

Name: Clearsight

Character Summary: Married to Darkstalker. she was reluctant in his plan to overthrow Vigilance but allowed it when she realized it was one of the few futures where their dragonets had a chance at living in peace. She loves all of them dearly but sadly her relationship with her eldest daughter, Shadowhunter, is strained after she had seen a possible future where she turns evil and plunged the continent into chaos. Despite this she serves the kingdom dutifully as Queen and head seer as well as training potential seers in proper prophetic techniques.

Name: Arctic

Character Summary: A runaway Icewing prince. In this AU he never killed those guards in his escape from the Ice Kingdom and remains sane and fully committed to Foeslayer and his children. He is close to all of his grandchildren although he shares a special bond with his eldest granddaughter Shadowhunter who was never afraid to approach him growing up despite his imposing air around him. He does worry for her future however is Clearsight’s vision is anything to go by.

Name: Foeslayer

Character Summary: Foeslayer in this AU is very similar to her canonical version however she is much happier and content in her life. She loves her grandchildren and has very little interest in possible futures where they turn evil. Instead she chooses to support them in their lives and loves them for who they are currently.

Name: Shadowhunter

Character Summary: The eldest daughter of Darkstalker and Clearsight. She is an animus and a very powerful seer however she has very little interest in visions and refuses to bow to the whims of possible futures that haven’t happened yet. Often she is seen as next in line for the throne although she disagrees with that plan wholeheartedly and always points to her hatchmate Feirceclaws as the best option for the throne. Her temper runs hot which is ironic since she was the only one to inherit more Icewing from her grandfather than any of her siblings, including the signature ice breath.

Her future is more shaky than any of her siblings and has a higher chance of turning evil. That along with her refusal to heed her parents warnings of her powers or her mother visions cause great concern with her family. She often points out that perhaps it is their lack of faith in her that will cause her to snap one day.

Name: Fierceclaws

Character Summary: The eldest son of Darkstalker and Clearsight. He is an animus and a mindreader. His future was never as set in stone as some of their other dragonets. Primarily due to ‘disagreements’ on his name. Darkstalker had been dead set on Fierceclaws while Clearsight wanted to name him something relating to his thoughtful nature. But Darkstalker won this argument after the defeat of Vigilance and their second born dragonet was named Fierceclaws. Much to the poor princes embarrassment since he is not exactly what one could call fierce. A running gag between him and Shadowhunter is that they should have swapped names as she is clearly the fiercer of the two. Fierceclaws is definitely the more scholarly of the two and while at times their conflicting personalities clash the two are very close with one another. 

Fierceclaws has only ever used his animus powers once, the day where their father tested them. He immediately feared his power and refused to ever use them again while Shadowhunter never bought into the soul corruption theory and uses her powers whenever she can get away with it. He worries about his sister and is particularly worried about her relationship with their mother which is strained to say the least. Most days he worries about the future of their family and tribe. 

Name: Lostmind (Thank you @alanahtheragon)

Character Summary: The third dragonet of Clearsight and Darkstalker. Insight hatched with the ability to read minds. She is much quieter than all of her siblings and shy to the point where she begged to be homeschooled. She often wishes she had never been hatched with mindreading as it only increases her anxieties. She spends most of her time in her room with her scrolls. She loves her siblings but can only handle them in minor doses and oftentimes can’t handle the teasing that comes with them. She worries constantly about the dark futures her mother has seen for Shadowhunter and worries that they will end with all of them being slaughtered like the seawing royal family. Despite this she still loves her sister but chooses to interact with her as little as possible.

Name: Starchaser (Thank you @fireflythenightlight)

Character Summary: The fourth dragonet of Clearsight and Darkstalker. Starchaser is a little more on the ditzy side. Preferring to worry about jewelry and the latest fashions rather than cryptic prophecies that don’t really concern her. She and Shadowhunter clash the most but they do love one another. Often times Shadowhunter being the one who comforts her after another one of her many, many, crushes reject her or break her heart as well as offering to turn them into frogs or something. Luckily so far Starchaser has turned her down but loves that her big sister cares enough to offer.

Name: Eclipse and Cosmos (Thank you @fireflythenightlight)

Character Summary: The fifth and sixth dragonets of Clearsight and Darkstalker who have not hatched yet. Although the whole family is very aware of their existence and is excited to meet them one day. 

Name: Whiteout

Character Summary: The sister to King Darkstalker. Whiteout is different to say the least. She did not hatch under the three moons. This doesn’t bother her at all and she is perfectly happy the way she is. She is married to Thoughtful and they have one dragonet together by the name of Lostmind. She shows very little concern about the possible distant futures concerning her nieces and nephews and instead shows unbiased love towards all of them. Often times acting as though she was their mother as well.

Name: Thoughtful

Character Summary:Husband to Whiteout and a very talented and famous glass blower. He also walks to the beat of his own drum and adores his family. Which includes his royal nieces and nephews. He is very humble and quiet with a kindness and softness to him that is so often scoffed at in dragon culture. Fierceclaws actually looks up to him very highly and often wishes society as a whole reflected his behavior.

Name: Insight

Character Summary: The daughter of Whiteout and Thoughtful. She is quiet and unobtrusive and often prefers solitude over socializing. She gets along wonderfully with her cousins who treat her more like another sister than anything else. She does not have any powers but often times she sees things that even the most talented mindreaders can’t. She likes to incorporate her observations in her sculptures and has already won several awards for her pieces. Her only worry for the distant future is whether or not her entire family will survive through it intact.

---

Okay a couple of things that I wanted to expand a little

Shadowhunters looks more like an Icewing than she does a Nightwing. However she is pitch black. Including her horns and spikes. There are few other things but they're Minor details. And yes she does have icebreath instead of fire breath. I love the idea of her having a hot head when in actuality her temperature runs below freezing. Often times she jokes that she and her dad must have swapped genetics since the only sign of his mixed lineage is his row of ice scales and Animus powers.

Clearsight is not a terrible mother. I want to make that clear. However she is not the best mother to Shadowhunter because she worries so much about her possible dark futures. Think back on how Clearsight would treat Darkstalker at times even though he really hadn't done any bad yet. She is not a perfect character and that's what's sooo good about her. But unfortunately it has ruined her relationship with her eldest daughter.

Shadowhunter inherited her parents incredibly strong future vision. When she was younger she enjoyed using it but after noticing how her mother focused more on the future versions of her than the current one she went cold turkey and avoids it as much as possible. There has been occasions where she's thought about removing the ability completely but she doesn't think she should ever have to hide or change what she is. This is why she uses her animus magic pretty freely. And even though she uses the soul reader as proof that her soul is fairly intact nobody believes that that will last for long.

Yes. I read the wiki. Apparently Fierceclaws was supposed to be female but I had already created him as male and I am not changing it.

Starchaser is a brat but she does love her family. Honestly her and Shadowhunters relationship has become one of my favorite things in this AU. And did you notice she is one of the few who doesn't doubt her sisters future?

Yes. Whiteout was not hatched on the brightest night. I love her character as it is in the book series where she says things that hint she does still have some prophetic power.

Also yeah I'm not writing anything for Eclipse yet. Eventually she will show up but not yet.

And finally, this is obviously not the complete cast. We still have Fathoms family and their roles as well as other more minor characters.

Have any questions about the AU? Feel free to hit me up! I'm always down to talk about my AUs!

[gunnerpalace]

Hyperchlorate: How I’d Rewrite Bleach (Part I)

Okay, this is it, kids. This is gonna be—as best as I’m able to manage—the ultimate synthesis of all my scattered discourse on Bleach, combined with a condensation of what I’d do about it all. Buckle up, because these posts are going to be long, and I’m not putting it behind a spoiler. I’d apologize for destroying your dashboard, but I put in the work.

WHAT’S UP WITH THE NAME?

What's referred to as (liquid) bleach is usually a solution of sodium hypochlorite (NaClO) in water. Sodium hydroxide (NaOH) is usually added to slow the decomposition of bleach into sodium chlorate (NaClO3), and sodium chloride (NaCl)—that is to say, common salt. (How appropriate!)

Sodium perchlorate (NaClO4) is a perchlorate salt which is very closely related to the above and, when treated hydrochloric acid (HCl), makes perchloric acid (HClO4) and common salt. The former is very nasty in and of itself and is mostly used to make other, worse things.

In the context of chemistry, the prefix hypo- means one less oxygen atom than something suffixed -ite, while the prefix per- means one more oxygen than something suffixed -ate. (See here for a chart if you want.) The prefix hyper- isn't used in chemistry, but I think it sounds better.

tl;dr: It's a weird chemistry not-joke used as a code name for this project.

WHAT’S THE PITCH?

The short version of the pitch is: Most people who liked Bleach as a thing liked the initial Karakura and Soul Society arcs, and interest gradually dropped off after that.

Therefore, if you wanted to rewrite Bleach, you’d want to focus on that time period and expand on it and develop it further. You would also want to rework whatever came after, and more thoroughly integrate it with that time period in tone, focus, and perspective.

To do that, you first need to understand how it was structured and what made it work in the first place.

OKAY, WHAT’S THE LONGER VERSION?

The longer version of the pitch is: Bleach was supposedly a shōnen. One of the Big Three shōnen, in fact (in Western thinking). But understanding Bleach and why it worked (and why it fell apart) requires debunking that idea.

You see, the thing is that Bleach was never particularly good at being a shōnen, at least as most people think of such a thing. When people think of shōnen, they tend to think of four (4) things: 1. A Certain Kind of Protagonist, 2. Worldbuilding, 3. Plot, and 4. Fights. Bleach doesn’t really fit the pattern when it comes to these elements. I’ve been over these before, to a certain extent (many times), but I’ll reiterate them here:

A Certain Kind of Protagonist: Goku. Luffy. Naruto. Natsu. Kenshin. Yusuke. I don’t have to name their anime or manga; you already know who they are and what they’re from. Ichigo is certainly a kind of protagonist, but as Sera (@hashtagartistlife​) once pointed out, he’s very different from what one normally thinks of when they consider the genre. Ichigo is a punk with a heart of gold (a la Yusuke) but he lacks the inner drive and confidence of all those other protagonists. He is, in fact depressive at the start of the series; he’s at best listless and nihilistic, and at worst suicidal. He’s something of an outcast loner with a tsundere personality he developed as a kind of mental armor. He’s deliberately mediocre at and unengaged with things. That changes (and the story starts) when Rukia enters his life and gives him the ability to act on his desires to do good and protect people. In other words: his confidence comes from outside of himself. Indeed, it’s a recurring plot-point that the longer he’s separated from Rukia, the more his confidence wavers. In addition to all the other things that were noted as marking him out, this one is crucial, because the average shōnen protagonist is possessed of unwavering confidence. Having Ichigo’s confidence (and his animating ethos) externalized to Rukia essentially splits the traditional protagonist role in two. (Indeed, you could readily say Ichigo and Rukia are deuteragonists, despite the story focusing on Ichigo—he eclipses her visually, but her gravity is unmistakably present and dominant.) This by itself tells you that you are dealing with a different kind of story than usual. This fits in with one of the reasons people tend to like Bleach, specifically the first. 

Worldbuilding: Few shōnen rival Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings in sophistication and detail, but they usually have well-developed worlds where whatever is going on substantiates—and ideally enhances—the plot and the journey of the protagonist. Think of the world of One Piece, which is excellent at this, or those of Naruto or Fairy Tale, which still sufficiently sell that there is a living, breathing setting in which the story is taking place. Bleach is something more like Plato’s Allegory of the Cave: it holds up on its own if you accept its premises at face value, but if you start to investigate more carefully, things stop really making all that much sense. My own personal go-to example is the identity of the two unrevealed Great Noble Houses which presumably wielded power in Central 46. (I don’t consider Can’t Fear Your Own World a satisfactory answer for this, or other questions, and notably it has only revealed one of them.) Another example is the history of the Great Noble Houses, or Soul Society in general, or the Soul King. All of these (and much more) were things that were shoved into data books or follow-on novels, if they were ever addressed at all. The more one inspects the worldbuilding of Bleach, the more it feels like it’s flat or significant sections of it were missing—like it’s a movie set instead of an actual place. Most fiction strives to present, as much as possible, a kind of simulated world that you could imagine existing. Bleach, perversely, rather brazenly gives us a set of stages with clearly defined borders instead. This ties into the third and fifth reason people tend to like Bleach.

Plot: In academic circles, you will be told that what distinguishes literary fiction from genre fiction is the former is about characters (i.e., how events impact them), and the latter is about plot (i.e., what happens). For example, White Noise by Don DeLillo is not about “The Airborne Toxic Event,” it is about what that catalyzes in the protagonist’s life. Something like One Piece is very much a genre story about adventure. Things happen to the characters, sure, but they don’t really change all that much over time. They’re all following their dreams, and those dreams are (for the protagonists) often immutable. Bleach doesn’t really follow that structure. Ichigo and Rukia have an ethical viewpoint, but they’re not really on a journey to implement it. Things largely just kind of happen to them. In this regard, Bleach is much more like a literary work than a genre one. It also features, as Sera pointed out in an earlier post, a depiction of Joseph Campbell’s monomyth within the Karakura and Soul Society arcs: we see Ichigo and Rukia go through the process of “becoming a hero.” Protagonists like Luffy or Goku already are the heroes, it’s just that nobody else knows it yet. The plots that unfold are thus very different. Furthermore, Bleach is also often a symbolic work. For example, the Karakura II, Hueco Mundo and Fake Karakura arcs are a sort of inverse deconstruction of the earlier Karakura and Soul Society arcs; they function as an anti-monomyth and refutation of it (think of it as being like “how a hero can fail”), a la how Bloodborne subverts the monomyth to incorporate Lovecraftian mythos: they are designed to cast down the achievements of the protagonists and demoralize the reader, rather than being triumphant and uplifting. Bleach also frequently prioritizes thematic elements over verisimilitude. One example is the association of romance with death (Isshin and Masaki, Ryuuken and Kanae, Kaien and Miyako, Rangiku and Gin, and so on). Another is loneliness (no one ever seems to really hang out or have many friendships), especially when it comes to parents (Isshin and Ryūken have strained relationships with Ichigo and Uryū, Ikumi is a single mother, Chad parents are dead, Orihime’s were reverse-abandoned, Keigo and Mizuiro’s are absent, Tatsuki’s are never seen, and so on). Bleach absolutely prioritizes characters and themes over traditional plot or plausibility—that is to say, how things feel is often much more important than how exciting or realistic they are, which ties into the second and third reasons people like Bleach.

Fights: Bleach’s fights tend to suck. There are some exceptions, sure, but the power of those exceptions usually stems from the emotional content and personal nature of them. Something like Ichigo vs. Byakuya, Uryū vs. Mayuri, or Rukia vs. Aaroniero (to name a later example) are very emotionally charged fights. That said, even fights that aren’t particularly interesting, like Ikkaku vs. Edrad, tend to be more about showing us aspects of the characters’ personalities more so than about the fight itself. In fiction, one is encouraged to show rather than tell, and more extreme situations (which violent confrontations are one example of) allow one to show deeper and more extreme aspects of a character than slice-of-life situations usually do. This is what Bleach’s fights are often in service of. This is evident from how uninteresting the average Bleach fight is. There’s a lot of sword-pressing, a lot of ineffectual diagonal slashes, a lot of appearing behind someone to their surprise, a lot of losing an arm as a serious injury, a lot of no-selling attacks, and whoever reveals how their powers work first usually loses. The fighting quickly boils down to shikai and bankai, or their equivalents, with the other aspects of fighting, like kidō (and the rest of zankensoki) being discarded except when they reflect some matter of character (for example, Byakuya or Uryū’s more analytical and technical approach to things). Combat in Bleach isn’t about a robust combat system or consistency, nor is it about what looks cool—it is about what shows off the character in question. This is unusual for a shōnen and ties directly into the second reason people like Bleach.

I’ve talked a lot about why Bleach is liked, and it’s now prudent to get into that. In my opinion, the reasons that early Bleach was well-liked and well-received can be boiled down to five (5) things: 1. Deuteragonists, 2. Character Designs, 3. Mystery, 4. Contrast, and 5. Urban Fantasy Setting. I’ve been over most of these before, but they also bear repeating.

Deuteragonists: I have explored this concept in quite some detail (see: 1, 2, 3) before, so I’m not going to go too deeply into its mechanics here. The most obvious selling point here is that splitting the role of the protagonist into two mutually supporting halves that are fallible in their own ways is A. relatively unique, and B. humanizing. Ichigo and Rukia are by no means either the first example of this (consider Sherlock Holmes and John Watson) or the last (I've not seen Psycho-Pass, but Shinya Kogami and Akane Tsunemori seem to have much the same relationship), but I am unaware of any (supposed) shōnen prior to Bleach that attempted it. (That’s not to say that it doesn’t exist, but rather, that its obscurity if it does simply reinforces the point.) That made it unique for its time. That Rukia is a (competent and independent, but still vulnerable and feminine) woman only makes it even more unique, especially given the medium and how women tend to be treated within it. It also allowed for both Ichigo and Rukia to have problems as characters, and to largely grow beyond those problems over the course of the series, rather than there being yet another immutable and unchanging rock of a protagonist like so many other shōnen feature. When coupled with their interpersonal banter and dynamics, they formed a major draw together simply because their sharing of the role was so unusual and well-executed.

Character Designs: Bleach suffers from a dizzying overabundance of characters. Many of them are only present for a few chapters, at most, and yet even characters who appeared very briefly have any number of adherents out there among the readership or viewership. Consider characters like Starrk, Bambietta, or Bazz B., who have little to no establishment, and little panel time relative to the series, but who nonetheless gained resolute fans. Sometimes they have backstories shoehorned in to help sell them (as in the case of Starrk and Bazz B.; the most hilarious example is probably Giriko being given a flashback several chapters after he was already dead), but often they succeeded without them. They also often succeed despite their personalities largely being remixes of existing characters. How? Because of their character design and attitudes. Bleach was enormously successful in delivering characters that appealed to somebody, even at almost only a glance. The characters almost radiate a sense of mie purely through their designs. This sort of visual imminence routinely overcame all other character shortfalls. 

Mystery: The anime of Bleach began airing on October 5, 2004. Coincidentally, Lost started airing on September 22, 2004. They began at almost exactly the same time. What does one have to do with the other? Nothing, except for the fact that they both relied heavily on mystery and both capitalized on it (in different markets) at almost exactly the same time. The bulk of Bleach is predicated on inculcating a sense of mystery. This is why basic facts that would often be mentioned in passing are kept tightly wrapped secrets until the end of the series and beyond. (Token examples, great and small: Who are the other two Great Noble Houses? Where’s Yoruichi’s zanpakutō and why can she turn into a cat? What’s the deal with the Soul King? Why is there a fox-man like Sajin around, and is he a yōkai or what? What was the Final Getsuga Tenshō?) Even things that were resolved, like Ichigo’s parentage, what was going on with his “inner Hollow” and zanpakutō, and so on, were kicked down the road as long as possible to create an air of mystery. The most obvious manifestation of this was all the guessing about the bankai of various characters that the series egged on. This sense of mystery and a desire for closure kept quite a lot of people invested when their patience for the rest of the series ran out.

Contrast: While lots of anime and manga frequently leaven their drama with comedy, or vice-versa, Bleach was unique for the means in which it did so. It’s worthwhile to draw a contrast with something very close to its opposite: Gintama. Gintama is particularly notable because of its odd mix of different elements; it has a fantastical alternate history setting and can go from irreverent comedy (running the gamut from pop-culture puns to crude toilet humor) to deadly serious drama in just a few pages. However, Gintama’s default mode is comedy. Bleach is a relatively grounded secret history with a default mode that is dramatic. In this regard, they are equal but opposite. Early Bleach was a very dark and grim, almost Lovecraftian setting, and often had elements of horror or was just plain gross, but was lightened up through the way in which it approached that and its frequent inclusion of humor. This contrast is also heightened by the relative lack of fighting in the early manga; when fighting does occur, it’s all the more notable because the focus is largely upon slice-of-life elements. As the series progressed, this element of contrast was lost as it became relentlessly serious (in the process, becoming desensitized to its own sense of horror, great or small) and tried to become a battle manga.

Urban Fantasy Setting: Although Bleach ultimately goes on to visit rather fantastical places, it started out in a very grounded and realistic fashion. The sleepy (fictional) suburb of Karakura in Western Tokyo is just the right mix of urban and rural to be relatable to almost anyone. Simply by virtue of being based on a real area (the region around Tama), Karakura feels lived-in and well-developed, despite the fact that we see very little of it. (This is especially true compared to Soul Society [be it the Seireitei or Rukongai] or Hueco Mundo, both of which are very sterile and fantastical in a bad way [especially since the former is really just a stylized representation of the Heian period in Japan]. There is a very old parody of DBZ featuring the line "We need to go to some place that's completely desolate and... that would never be in real life at all, and it's huge, and it's a bajillion miles wide and it's nowhere to be found on earth—but it's right over there!" and that accurately describes both Soul Society and Hueco Mundo. I’ll get into this more in the next post.) The initial focus on day-to-day high school life also gave it a solid grounding for the age bracket of its intended audience. In this capacity, it exactly nailed the setting of teen-focused urban fantasy. The interesting thing is it did so before a lot of the most prominent novels in that genre were written. In other words, Bleach was a market-leader in urban fantasy for teens, and beat many of its peers to the punch. Just as deuteragonists were a major selling point out of their sheer novelty, so was the setting.

As an aside at this junction, I’d like to direct your attention to something from the Wikipedia page on urban fantasy, regarding the distinction between urban fantasy and supernatural romance:

The two share 90% of their genre DNA. However, the main differences are this: Urban fantasy focuses on an issue outside of a romantic relationship between two characters. Paranormal romance focuses on a romantic relationship between two characters and how outside forces affect that relationship. The best litmus test to determine if a story is urban fantasy or paranormal romance is to ask the following question: 'If the romance between Character A and Character B were removed, would the plot still stand as a viable storyline?' If the answer is 'yes,' chances are good it's urban fantasy. If the answer is 'no,' it's most likely paranormal romance.

Now, whether you think the relationship between Ichigo and Rukia is romantic or not, I would note two things. The first is that if their relationship was removed, the plot would not “still stand as a viable storyline.” The second is that the events of the Karakura and Soul Society arcs are very much about “how outside forces affect [their] relationship.” (As were all subsequent events involving them, really.) In short, I would argue that it’s impossible to suggest that early Bleach doesn’t sit somewhere that very closely approximates paranormal romance, if not being one outright. In this regard, Sera’s assertion that Bleach is a shōjo is a lot closer to the mark than you might think, as is my own that it was on the path to becoming either a battle shōjo or a couple shōnen.

HOLY SHIT, GIVE ME AN EXECUTIVE SUMMARY SO FAR?

To summarize, Bleach started off as a pseudo-paranormal romance (if not an actual one) that succeeded on the basis of being—on the one hand—grounded, characterful, and novel, while—on the other—also being mysterious, emotive, and meaningful. Bleach was, at the start, not necessarily trying to sell itself as an unbiased account of “things that happened in this fictional world,” or create an expansive universe. It was instead a rather intimate story set in a particular place, focusing very much on its characters and on conjuring up emotions.

Even when it went to Soul Society, you might still just as easily think it as something like an off-beat Kabuki play rather than a traditional shōnen. (Perhaps making it not so surprising that it was so easily adapted into a musical play.)

I feel that Bleach is also notable for embracing the aesthetic principles of Japanese art and culture that other traditional shōnen usually do not heavily emphasize; it features elements of not just Kawaii (of course), but Jo-ha-kyū, Geidō, Miyabi, Iki, Ensō, Shibui, Yūgen, and Wabi-sabi. (Indeed, I would say that an over-attachment to those last four is a major component of why it ultimately failed.) This also gave it a unique flair.

I think it was ultimately so successful to begin with because it was a unique melange of elements.

BUT I LIKED BLEACH BECAUSE OF SOME PARTICULAR THING YOU DISMISSED AS ANCILLARY!

There’s no accounting for taste. I’m just telling you what Bleach’s focus was and why it was initially exciting and good at what it did.

OKAY, FINE, WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH REWRITING IT?

Like I said, I think it’s important to first understand what worked and why. Then, it’s important to understand why things went wrong. (And boy, did things go wrong...) Only then can you reasonably propose solutions to fix things.

Next time, we’ll go into what went wrong, which involves a mixture of poor planning, shifting priorities, inflexibility, overindulgence, and hubris. But for that story, you’ll have to stay tuned for Part II!

[lovecanbesostrange]

I blame @konako for putting Red Beauty feels inside my dusted heart again. And also @myfawnwy because reasons. So, how about a nice re-telling of Ladyhawke with those two?

It starts in Regina’s kingdom. The Evil Queen rules with an iron fist and lots of fear (just how we like her). Red is the captain of her guard. Strong, loyal, good at intimidation. Also Regina has a thing for her. Red really doesn’t mind all the special favors she gets. It’s a good life. All she needs to do is turn a blind eye toward all the suffering she causes. Oops.

So there is a soft side within her and then Belle drops into her life. Red is out on duty, she needs to collect taxes from an orphanage (the Evil Queen is actually evil, you know). Belle is there and disgusted when one of the soldiers threatens a child. She throws an apple it him. It’s not really efficient, but it makes Red laugh and they end up talking. Well, they banter.

Red is amused and also intrigued and when Belle offers up money (which isn’t enough, but it’s a good amount), Red can’t take it. She looks at the way the children and the nun running the orphanage look at Belle, and something pulls on her heartstrings. Red has money. She can actually pay the debt owed. She never needs her money for anything, because Regina gives her all she needs (sugar mommy, nice). But oh no, so Red learns about herself that there is something Regina can’t offer...

Among Red’s soldiers there is Mulan. Sorry to say, but she is miserable heartbroken rather dishonorable Mulan. Aurora broker her heart so bad, she drinks way too much and is very rude (if you know the film Ladyhawke, you know what role she plays in this, and sorry, but somebody has to). Still Red talks to her. And in the next few days Red manages to super accidentally run into Belle (girl knows how to track, *cough*stalker*cough*). And they just talk.

Belle is seen a lot of the world, she’s traveling ever since her father wanted to push her into a loveless arranged marriage. Yikes. She has met a lot of people and learned that most just want to live in peace, be happy and have the compacity to be good. Belle is an optimistic. She likes nudging people towards change for the better. And oh, does Red enjoy the nudging.

Red grew up in a tiny village, lost her parents early in life and she wanted more. It was a series of weird events that brought her to Regina and the attention, the power, the sudden sorta carefree egocentric life - morals be damned. But deep down Red remembers that she wanted to do better one day. She just told herself to compromise a little bit, to get into a better position and well, here she is now. But Belle tells her it’s not too late for that.

Regina feels that Red is slipping from her grasp. There is something going on and she will find out. Red knows to hide herself from the mirror’s watchful eyes. Regina has other methods though and Mulan - with no bad intention - lets it slip where Red and Belle are meeting up.

Regina finds the two and she is rage incarnate. What a betrayal and omg feelings, really, love only ever hurts people (she has issues). Red is super protective and tries to shield Belle, which only makes Regina laugh with madness. If she wanted to kill them they’d be dead in a second. Instead she throws a curse at them. It’s a bit on the spot, so she isn’t sure about it all, but gets a good laugh.

It’s night and while Regina retreats Belle looks around only to find Red is gone. Instead there is a wolf. A huge wolf. With her. In a tiny room. But before the panic boils over she can see that the wolf is distressed as well and not at all hostile towards her. Okay, so that wolf is Red. Well. Damn. What now? Belle talks to her, unsure if she talks to a human or an animal or like both. But they end up huddled in a corner.

The next morning changes the situation dramatically. Red wakes up and for a moment she is all “thank god, what a shitass dream that was”. Two arms, two legs, all human. But where is Belle? There is just this hawk sitting on the back of a chair. Looking a bit wobbly. And Red just knows, this is the curse. Only one of them can be human.

Then the hunters come. Regina wants to see them run for their lives and so they do. Only at sunrise and sundown, for a precious few seconds, can they see each other as human. When they transform. It’s never enough time to say anything. But they protect each other nonetheless.

Red has revenge on her mind and she talks about it to the hawk (who does enjoy learning how to fly, it’s a perk). But during the night Belle tells her why killing people rarely leads to good results. And she’d rather have a wolf by her side than nobody at all.

Red finds out what happened and she confronts Mulan, who has left the guard in shame. She is trying to get sober and when Red has her literally by her throat all she can do is offer up her own life. It’s no fun killing people who are ready to die and okay, so maybe Belle has an effect on Red in many ways. She just tells Mulan that one day she will collect what’s owed.

They live this way for a few months. Red using her skills by day to help people against bandits and Regina’s men, always looking out for hunters. And wow, since when are so many people out here bird hunting? It’s not easy being a hawk.

Then they hear about something outrageous - a woman escaped the Evil Queen’s most infamous dungeon. That castle is impenetrable. Not even Red knows how she could get in without being detected. Which is the other reason she’s putting revenge on the backburner.

The hawk scouts the land and it’s actually not hard finding the girl fleeing from guards. Just the general direction of where things are happening. So Red helps. A few well placed arrows, a sharp sword, a pointy dagger and the girl is safe. Her name is Snow. Oh wow, this one girl Regina always talked about and who she is really pissed at.

Red is all “I saved you, now you do something for me” and Snow is just “sounds good, but no thanks”. She has been imprisoned for some time, Regina keeping her a secret prisoner and now she has places to be. The hawk screeches at her and damn those talons are no joke.

Red offers to train Snow, because that girl is fast and tiny and stealthy, but she can’t take care of herself. What a shame. So she gets Snow to talk to her, tell her about the cells she has seen, the tunnels she found and the secret passageways connected to the city sewer and all. But Red knows she needs a guide right there. They argue a lot.

Snow is really irritated when Red vanishes and this other woman comes to her at night. Smirking “oh, I know you, Red told me all about you”. When Snow thinks this might be her chance to flee there is suddenly a wolf standing in her way. What’s with all the animals? Since when are they against her?!

Snow confides in Belle how Regina is actually supposed to be her stepmother, but there was this incident where a man Regina loved died tragically and the marriage with the King didn’t make Regina happy. Here Belle can suddenly empathize a tiny bit with Regina and once again she wishes she could just guide everybody to the side of good and sunshine and rainbows.

Turns out Snow is a princess and she should be in the spotlight, but it all was taken from her and she doesn’t have anywhere to go. “You have us now.” Beggers can’t be choosers it seems. What a weird new family. Snow slowly gets suspicious about never seeing Red and Belle together, yet they talk about each other like a married couple. Wtf.

They are so focused on training Snow and gaining her trust so she will help, they forget the hunters and one day the unthinkable happens. The hawk is shot down. Red gets mad. Berserker rage mad. Still she wraps up the bird in her cloak, gives it over to Snow and instructs her where to go. It would be so easy to leave the animal, but Snow has a feeling... and she runs. Red covering her. The hunters becoming the hunted. An endangered species actually. It’s a bloodbath. Turns out Red still has some wolf left in her by day.

Snow reaches the cottage that was described and a sober yet annoyed Mulan opens the door, to only smash it in her face again. “Red sent me.” That opens the door very wide and Mulan doesn’t even ask another question when she sees what is inside that cloak she knows so well. Luckily she knows how to help. She has stitched up so many wounds, pulled out arrows etc, she can handle this. Especially because night falls soon and there is a woman lying on her kitchen table now. (Snow on the side makes a small fist “knew it”.)

It’s after midnight, Belle has survived the worst of it and sleeps it off, when there is a howl. Mulan lets the wolf in, telling her it all will be fine. Red doesn’t leave Belle’s side for the next three days, no matter the body. Mulan tries to talk to her, but Red is angry. “Your debt might be paid, but that doesn’t mean I have forgiven you.”

So Mulan turns to Snow and explains how she tried to research this curse. And there is this eclipse coming up. There will be a day without sun and then Red and Belle can be together and break this curse. But they need to face Regina. Yeah, okay, so Snow how that meeting can be arranged and with a long sigh she caves. She will help.

Red doesn’t want to hear anything about the curse. Killing Regina is goal enough at this point, so they can be free. One way or another. Belle feels the guilt and misery radiating from Red. It’s all her fault they ended up like this. If only she hadn’t stalked... tracked her.

Mulan and Snow believe there is a chance to break the curse and they try their best to talk to Red and Belle. Coming up with a plan within the plan to see this through. They delay the journey a bit, so the eclipse can work its magic so to speak.

Snow leads the others through the tunnels underneath the castle. Or course today is the anniversary of Regina’s coronation, because it would be too easy with fewer people around. They get disguises, Snow being the one carrying the hawk. She does not like being stuffed in a bag and then shoved into a trolley table. Red gets a guard’s uniform with a closed helmet, so in the end there can be a dramatic reveal (including shaking that hair).

Regina actually enjoys the festivities. Everybody says so many nice things about her. Yes, they like her, they really do like her. So good. She always wanted to be a good leader. Yes, yes. (She has issues.) Mulan manages to create a small diversion, leads different guards out of the room to disable them. (Do you know how many unconscious bodies fit into one broom closet?)

The final confrontation is here. Right when Regina is giving a speech Red makes her presence known. It all starts with “You know that people whisper behind your back and call you the Evil Queen”. It kinda gets to Regina actually, she hates that name. She is strict and likes to punish, but if everybody would just do what they are told...

Red’s reflexes are faster now, she is more agile, the fireballs don’t seem to be able to hit her. A few guards want to help the Queen, but a few more remember Red being their Captain. O Captain, my Captain runs deep with them.

The eclipse starts, wonderful spectacle through the hugh windows. And Belle turns human again. Red has Regina almost on the floor, but the sight makes her lose focus. Belle is here. She never had the chance to tell her in person how much she loves her and that she’s sorry for this mess.

Regina wants to use this moment, but Snow comes forth. She yells a rather simple “mother, don’t” and it’s like a spell is cast. All Snow wanted was a mother, not the throne, not to destroy young love or use Regina. People recognize the princess now, who was rumoured to maybe be dead, or kidnapped to a strange land or fleed because of a crime (lots of conflicting stories, which Regina always enjoyed).

“You can choose to let the hate go.” It’s all very sappy. The way Red and Belle hold hands and Snow holds a speech while Regina holds her breath and Mulan holds a crossbow just in case...

Regina says she can’t lift the curse, even if she wanted to, because only true love’s kiss (TM) can. Which was the bittersweet revenge part, because the time was always too short for the two humans (furry rights not found). Belle grabs Red’s face and they kiss. *boom* ~Happy Ending Unlocked~

Mulan will later muse about this. “So, we never had to put ourselves in danger, because the eclipse was bound to happen and you two are so ridiculously in love, you would’ve kissed anyway........” (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

[lucianprincess]

Chapter 5 : Icy whispers

M.E. 745

Several months had passed since the annexation of Tenebrae by Niflheim. The short stay had been good for Noctis and the latter had finally recovered from his injuries. But when he returned to school, the young boy had closed up on his own. For her part, Aurora was trying to move forward. She had a tendency, like Ignis, to go forward and look to the future, where her brother often stayed in the past and refused to accept certain things.

One morning, while Aurora was chatting with her classmates, she heard a strange, incomprehensible murmur. She turned around, thinking it was a joke made by one of her friends, but there was no one behind her. Thinking she may have dreamed or had heard the snippets of another group of children's conversation, she shrugged before returning to her business. Later in the day, as her teacher explained an exercise, the same unintelligible female voice echoed in her mind. The young Princess winced, shaking her head as if to chase away those whisperings and tried to stay focused. She felt her crystal pendant become heavy and a feeling of coldness slowly invaded her. Aurora put on her jacket and rubbed her arms slightly to warm up. Even the evening dinner, though hot and consistent, had not managed to raise a little bit its body temperature. She hesitated to talk to her father, but she preferred not to alarm him unnecessarily for a possible chill she had to take.

During the night, the dreams of the young Princess were tingled with mysterious images. Fire. Darkness. Blizzard. Empire. Which ends up waking her with a start, panting. Since the recent events in Tenebrae, Aurora has had a tendency to have nightmares. She often thought of Lunafreya and Ravus and hoped from the bottom of her heart that everything was fine for them. But this time, it did not seem to have anything to do with what she had experienced and thought it was nothing more than a wandering of her mind.

The next day the young Princess was still shivering, which Noctis noticed at breakfast. Beginning to worry about his sister, he suggested that she stay at the Citadel to see a doctor. She categorically refused, convinced she would get better, especially since she had several tests that day and it was out of the question that she misses them. As the day progressed, Aurora shivered. She felt like she was in an icy water bath and the crystal around her neck seemed to weigh a ton. The whispers began again and the images of the night reappeared in her mind. Slowly, they turned into something clearer. A call for help or warnings that the young girl had been trying to ignore since the day before. They intensified to the point of giving her dizzy. Between dizziness and drowsiness because of the cold felt, her eyes closed and she finally lost consciousness, collapsing on the floor of the classroom. Everyone jumped and her teacher rushed to her. He was surprised to find the abnormally low temperature of the young Princess and took her to the infirmary in urgency. Shortly after the principal's call, King Regis, accompanied by Clarus Amicitia, the Shield of the King, arrived at the school grounds. The rumor of his presence quickly made the tour of the establishment until reaching the ears of Noctis who ran immediately to the infirmary. Seeing his concern for his little sister, the King could not refuse his son to follow them to the Citadel without having to wait for the end of classes.

Lying on her bed, Aurora was still shaking with cold despite the many blankets that covered her. She mumbled a few inaudible and incomprehensible words between her chattering teeth. The hours passed without her condition improving. Noctis had finally fallen asleep beside his sister and King Regis remained at her bedside, powerless. But as calm reigned in the room, a soft voice sounded in the room.

— I did not imagine that this link would be so strong.

Gentiana had appeared, out of nowhere, and approached members of the Lucian royal family. The King looked at her, astonished at her presence here.

— It's rare to see you leave Tenebrae, dear Gentiana.

— I may be in Lunafreya's service, but I'm still a messenger of the Hexatheon.

— And if you come in their names, I suppose it's not a simple courtesy call.

— Indeed.

The Divine Host put her hand on the forehead of the young Princess, frowning as she perceived the words spoken faintly by her.

— That's what I feared...

— What are you talking about?

— Your daughter seems to have received the Blessing of the Astrals, by her Blood and the light she received at birth. Unlike the Oracle or the Chosen King, Aurora has no known place in Cosmogony. However ... The particular connection she has with the Crystal makes her perceive certain things, which makes me think that she will have a role to play sooner or later.

— Some things, like?

— Visions, sensations, emotions ... Hard to say.

— That would explain her current state?

— Yes. The Crystal seemed to want to warn her of an event that happened, but she tried to ignore his calls.

Regis turned his attention to his daughter, sadly, clutching her icy hand.

— Why didn’t she tell me about it ...

— All this is new to her and I think she did not want to worry too much.

Gentiana finally opened her eyes, which she kept closed until then. Her grave gaze rested on the King Regis before transferring it to the young girl. The latter, still unconscious, repeated weakly and tirelessly the same words in the divine language.

— Fire ... Darkness ... Blizzard ... Empire ... What is she talking about?

— Someone would have drawed the Infernian away from the Light ... And the Glacian, feeling him in danger and trying to save him, would have been defeated by Niflheim ...

King Regis blanched as he heard the news, understanding the seriousness of the situation.

— By the Astrals ...

— Dark hours are coming, King Regis. And we are only at the beginning.

The messenger came to kiss Aurora's brow, freeing her from her torments. Slowly, she took colors. Her tremors stopped as her incessant whispers, leaving her to sleep peacefully.

— She'll have to learn to control her gift. It may have been her first vision, but it will not be the last one.

The Sovereign of Lucis nodded and turned his head towards his sleeping children, thinking sadly of what the future would hold for them. He opened his mouth to speak again as he turned his attention to Gentiana, but she had already eclipsed in silence, as she had come. He sighed heavily before whispering, looking up at the sky.

— Watch over them ... I beg you ...

[heyymonkey2]

First Night Back in Fuuga Ch 24: Past the “Safe Days”

AO3 Link of Chapter 24

Summary: Yona calms Hak down... with her body

Mouths crushed together as though only the other can provide them oxygen, Yona and Hak move their hands up and down one anothers’ bodies. Clawing at fabric with needy fingers, pressing into each other as if to become one right then and there. The passionate affection goes on and on…

He’s OK. Tears of relief are in Yona’s eyes, when they fall they are all joy. She can feel him, breathe him, smell him, and yet the idea that he’s really here right now, that she’s tasting his sweet lips, feeling his rough hands taking various holds of her, is more than she can accept. She does not deserve this man. But even that hardly matters right now. She can set that aside because she’s desperate for him to be alive. She loves him, she loves him, she loves him, and if she can do anything to pull the pain from his heart… there is no thing in the living world she could possibly desire more in this moment.

She’s OK. Hak cannot be apart from this woman. Ever. Because ever since… so, so long ago, when even he hated himself, he could at least picture her, what he could do for her, that in any way his life could be used to make hers in any measure better, no amount too small, and that was always worth living for. These past two nights have been pitch black in his heart. But these crimson locks falling in his face, even getting in their mouths… that he can be light of heart about this right now with her… is everything. She’s always been OK… if he could make her laugh.

Hak pulls back and takes a look up at the princess’ teary face as he punctuates spitting her hair out of his mouth, “Couldn’t have done an updo?”

The apples of Yona’s cheeks rise high as her pressed lips form the most heartfelt, sincerest of smiles -- it’s him, oh is it him -- and then she bursts into laughter and falls onto his chest, nestling against his pecks, "You're so uncute, Hak."

“I think you forgot something…” Hak jokes as he playfully twists a strand of her hair.

Yona’s smile still great big, without even looking -- she lifts a hand, makes a small fist, and then punches his arm.

“That’s my girl,” Hak wraps his arms around her in an incredible embrace--

“Ha--k--” he’s too strong -- Yona laughs, play-gasping for air.

He smiles, then rolls her onto her back, releasing her from his powerful hold, and props himself over, an arm each side of her, his body completely eclipsing hers, “Don’t think I was gonna let you off that easy,” he warns with a tease in his eyes.

“Am I in trouble?” Yona bites her lower lip. If this is punishment, she wants to have been a very bad girl.

“Maybe…” he parts his lips in a very sexual way, slowly lowers to where hers open wanting him, welcoming him, begging him, and then denies her as he skirts around to nibble on her ear. He whispers, “I don’t need to know why unless you want to tell me. I don’t fucking care. But,” he nips her lobe which makes her let out a small gasp of pleasure, as well as the fact that he was angry enough to swear in front of her -- an impossibly rare thing, “Seeing you next to him... “

Yona turns her face to his and uses her hands to pull it to her lips, kissing him hard, deeply, with intended meaning, like a brand, then pulling away, emphatically, “That is the only thought ever on my mind. I think about you. No matter where I am. Or what company with. You’re my choice. I gave myself to you,” she parts her legs underneath him, “I belong to one man.”

Fuck. Yona’s words overwhelm Hak as he pulls his head back up so he can look at her. Ask any man who’s recently lost his virginity -- he wants sex. He’s thinking about sex. Obsessed even. But with Hak’s circumstances… fuck. His personal brand of heroine, whom he’s wanted for years upon years and he can still barely believe wants him back, just spread her legs under him and said that. It doesn’t matter where they are, what’s going on, or how much there is left to talk about -- this primal need… is beyond words.

Yona watches up at him with doe eyes, “Let me show you?”

Feeling pressure, he looks down to see her deft fingers already untying his sash.

“You’re all kinds of trouble today… Princess,” he lovingly carries his treasured name for her with that baritone voice, then, “We’re in a war camp. Hiding,” she slips the sash off, then opens his robe, “Being found together would ruin everything we’ve been apart to--” she grabs his lips with hers to begin to quiet him, then starts to disrobe him, which he helps her with, “...and when I say things like--” she brings her mouth back to quiet him again, but he fights against it, now both of them playing, laughing -- she stealing kisses and he trying to sneak his mouth away to say it-- “...like Yona--” oh that deep voice, Yona gasps softly, then he explains-- “...everyone will hear you.”

“I’ll be quiet,” she begs, running a hand up the bare, taut skin of his abs.

“Why do I always believe you...” he finds himself with his hand over hers, guiding it down to where he wants it.

“If I’m too loud, you have permission to stop…”

“Permission...” he lifts his hand back and runs a finger over her lips. He loves her strength, maybe especially when directed at him. But most of all, he loves playing with her...

...between undressing and kissing, quiet laughter and touching, caressing cheek against cheek, he whispers it over and over with varied sensual emphasis, “Yona. Oh, Yona… Yona, mmm Yona--”

“Uhh--” Yona feels his hand on her vagina. His skin is so rough, so strong, against her soft curls and silky skin, “...in me… I need you… I love you,” she pants between kisses.

“I love you,” he returns as he lowers her beautiful, naked figure onto her back and grazes his eyes over her, “...you smell nice,” he comments in pleased surprise as his mouth finds its way to her neck.

“Mmm,” Yona shuts the reason why out of her head and focuses on this moment of clarity -- there’s nothing as comforting as how sure she is about Hak. Crystal clear. This man is everything. And that’s why…

...as Hak’s bare erection hovers over her flawless, flat tummy, he can’t help but ask her, “We’re not in safe days anymore… are we?”

Ever her protector. Yona meets his eyes with steadfast permission -- she’s thought about it and already decided, “For me… if that happened... I would be happy.”

Hak’s heart races, he closes his eyes for strength, nothing would make me happier, Princess. He’s wildly turned on by her words… he wants to do that. So badly. But...

Yona can read his mind-- “--I know it’s reckless. We don’t even know what tomorrow brings. But I don’t put my faith in tomorrows anymore,” she softly places a hand on his cheek, “I believe in you. And me. And this,” she moves one hand over his heart and the other over her own, “If you’re alive in this moment, here with me, then let’s be honest to our feelings. And live boldly without fear.”

Her fire, it’s back in her eyes. He sees it and knows he’ll never forget this moment. His ring necklace, his vow, dangles between them and hers rests between her breasts.

She feels his heart race in sync with her own and knows that everything she just said rings a truth on a spiritual level, to the core of the depths of the earth and the height of the sky, that two people like this, in the absence of time, can embrace and know they could never regret it.

Hak looks deeply into Yona’s eyes, meeting her exactly where she is, wanting to join her there, his eyes welling at the beauty and power of being reckless with her like this, then he places the hand of the arm he’s propped up on on her cheek and guides himself to her most intimate space with his other.

Yona opens her mouth wide with pleasure as he, inch by inch, begins to fill her. Her breathing becomes ragged, but she keeps her promise to be silent. It’s an incredible effort, but for this, she will force compliance. She needs this -- desperately.

Yona throws her arms around his neck as he begins to thrust into her, a hand now cupping a breast and softly squeezing, he himself having trouble containing his sounds of pleasure. She bites into his shoulder to muffle her noises. Knowing exactly what they are doing heightens everything. For Yona, it's an overpowering ecstasy. Her vaginal walls squeeze tightly around him, sucking him in, desperate to please him, draw from him, as though a manipulative seductress waiting to gather his seed.

Hak is a willing victim. Bare inside her forbidden lands of fertility. There are few times in men’s lives when they’re allowed to do this. Nothing stopping them from sending their warm semen deep into a woman they love. And from the depths of their soul, truly wanting whatever could follow. Hoping they’d be so lucky.

Yona rolls her head back and further arches her back, aching with pleasure, as he continues to thrust -- faster and harder as he sees what it does to her, all the while losing control of what it’s doing to him. He sees her beginning to orgasm, feels her spasming around his cock, then catches her cry with his mouth, muffling her sound, holding her steady as he continues, driving her to an incredible height, her thighs now spasming around him, and then it happens -- he comes into her, spilling forth a long and powerful hot stream into her warm womb.

He stops and they pant and pant. Taking their time to come back down from what was a lovemaking experience stimulating beyond their understanding of what's possible.

Hak savors this vision of the princess beneath him, beads of sweat, bee-stung lips, swollen breasts, eyes lost in a love beyond love, looking up at him in wonder.

“I never thought… you would… like this,” catching her breath, she smiles, so pleased.

He collapses next to her, a hand tenderly over her belly, also catching his breath, “You’ve never come close to grasping how much I love you.”

“Impossible…” she snuggles up into his arms, “How can anything be more than what I feel for you? It's too much.”

He nuzzles his face into her hair as he wonders, “I don’t know, I often think I was cursed by the gods with this size burden of love.”

Yona smiles and smacks his arm, “That such a meanie is an otherwise perfect husband is just cruel.”

Hak raises his eyebrows, “You don’t like my jokes?”

Yona bites her lower lip as she blushes.

“Ehhh, see,” he plants a kiss on her cheek, then nose, then forehead, and then starts exploring with those kisses…

Still blushing heavily and with a pout, “I’ve never cared for your completely uncute teasing!” They both full well know she’s bold-face lying and Hak’s next peck lands on her mouth where they begin kissing again, now softly, slowly, basking in how they feel about each other.

They lay together, kissing, touching, smiling, for over an hour before Yona is the first to grab her clothes to begin dressing and return to reality.

“I don’t think I can let you go,” Hak’s heart is breaking as he joins the dressing.

“...you don’t have to,” she looks at him, her eyes expressing there is far, far more to be said, “Moreover, I don’t think I can let you go.”

“Hm?” Hak meets Yona’s eyes and he realizes they’re about to have a conversation of their lives. And in as recently as the past hour, he may have just set into motion an enormous new inspiration worth living for.

[mdid-thething]

Netflix’s Castlevania

The last few days I have been seeing gif sets and a few text posts about Netflix’s relatively new animated series Castlevania, based on the Konami videogame series of the same name. I rather like the series because of the side scrolling map exploration with vampire themes, so I told myself that I should give the show a try. I am rather glad that I did. The first four episodes are enjoyable and have given me enough to anticipate the future episodes. Then you realize that the “first four episodes” are actually the entire season. Ellis, please look at Leverage to see how to write season finales when you don’t know if there’s going to be a follow up season.

The plot of Castlevania centers on Trevor Belmont and his fight against Dracula’s horde of demons that is ravaging the country of Wallachia in the 1470’s. He allies with Sypha, a scholar and magician, and Adrian Alucard Tepes, the half-human son of Dracula, and they take the fight to Dracula himself. If you’ve played the Castlevania games and/or are familiar with the early entries of the series, you’re probably thinking that this sounds incredibly similar to Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse. You’d be right. The Netflix series is an adaptation of that game, but takes stylistic cues from later games such as Castlevania: Symphony of Night.

The rest of the review is below the cut for length and potential spoilers, though I do have to wonder if events that happen in episode one count as spoilers…

Even if I had no previous knowledge of the writer on this series, I would have known the moment Trevor Belmont started speaking that Warren Ellis was the head writer. I like Warren Ellis, I really do. However, he only really knows how to write one sort of hero: a down on their luck person who strides the line between hero and anti-hero and deals with the temptation to be much, much worse, but overcomes the darkness inside them to act on their better natures. You could trade Trevor for Excalibur’s Pete Wisdom, for Planetary’s Elijah Snow, for pretty much any character in his run on The Authority.  Yes, yes, yes, you can tell me all day about the differences between all of these characters, but their core personalities are the same “Ellis hero” model. I don’t note this as a bad thing, but as a stylistic thing that is emblematic to all of Ellis’ work that I have encountered.

Unfortunately, what has happened between when Ellis broke out Pete Wisdom back in the 90’s and now is that there has been a deluge of characters that have been built in the same anti-heroic trope, but without adding nuance or criticism to that trope. There is a point where you go “this person is just mean” because the “anti” part of the character so eclipses the “hero” side to make the title “anti-hero” meaningless. As such, I found Trevor, forgive the phrasing, whip smart, very funny (“God shits in my dinner once again” I think I woke the neighbors with my cackle), and boring. I am tired of seeing yet another mean/sarcastic anti-hero forced into the role of a hero against his very best efforts.

Perhaps a thing that Ellis could delve into in future seasons is building up how Trevor and Dracula are foils of each other. Trevor’s back-story is told in bits and pieces when he explains at various times how his family was excommunicated by the Church, exiled from Wallachia, and his home burned to the ground, implying that the rest of his family burned with it. The clearest telling of it is in a few seconds of the opening credits in episode one. He deals with his grief by becoming self destructive, and claiming that the injustice done to his family could be done because good people didn’t stand up for them when they could and should have. This sounds very similar to Dracula, who lost what he loved most because of the Church, and claimed that there should have been people to protest the death of an innocent woman. The difference is that Dracula’s grief and rage are directed in outward destruction.

In terms of female characters in general, Sypha is a breath of fresh air. Her design very clearly places her in the world and as a member of her people, the Speakers, rather than going the lazy route of putting her in a sexualized costume.  In personality, she is a headstrong woman who has been given a lot of leeway because of her great magical ability. I have some trepidation about her place in the overall plot in the episodes to come, should Castlevania get a second season, because her personality and appearance are very similar to Lisa Tepes of Lupo, and that might mean that there’s a kidnapping plot for her in the future. Or, at least, that Dracula will have some sort of conversation with her about how similar she looks to his late wife and considers sparing her because of that.

As cool as she is, and as eager as I am to see more of her, it is a bit bothersome that Sypha shows off her best magical work when she is doing so at Trevor’s direction. When she was on her own, there’s nothing to show for her magical abilities, as seen when Trevor rescued her after being turned to stone. This is especially noticeable when we see her using her magic, and she needs little more than a gesture to control and create fire, ice, and wind.

For the Speakers as a group, it is really cool to see that they are based off of the Roma, being an oppressed, distrusted, minority group who typically travel in caravan trains. Additionally, it’s great to see that there are background characters who are not white or white passing. But that leads us into a problem. The Elder and Sypha, who are the audience’s main representatives for the Speakers, are pale, leading to an unsettling implication of pale = good. I know that there are white-passing Roma, but the majority of people who are of Roma descent have dark hair and skin. Sypha would be equally as beautiful, headstrong, and intelligent if she had dark hair and skin as she does in her current design.

The writing for Castlevania, overall, is enjoyable and engaging, but this review wouldn’t have much more to talk about if I just left it at that. Despite how I summarized the plot of Castlevania earlier, the series doesn’t introduce Trevor until the final two minutes of the first episode after a far too long joke segment about goat fucking and the consequences there of.  Episode one is dedicated to the back-story of Dracula and his human wife, Lisa Tepes of Lupo. In general, it is a good episode. It establishes Dracula’s motivations and makes a great setting piece for this fictionalized version of Wallachia.

There are several things that can be taken issue with, however. Such as that this back-story is the content of the first episode. Granted, given that the season only has four episodes, it does make sense why this choice was made. However, it still feels like something that should have been aired much later in the series, such as after the protagonists meet Dracula face to face for the first time or as part of an episode where Adrian explains the origins of himself and the demonic horde. At that later time, the series could capitalize on lines such as “No one has ever seen Dracula before” and on how Trevor and Dracula are foils of each other. The current early placement of the episode makes it seem like Dracula should have been the primary protagonist who was pushed over the edge, with a plot of his resistant, clawing path back from that fall. But that is not the series that we have.

The second issue is Lisa Tepes of Lupo. Take her out of the context of the series, and she is a great character. She is a scientist who wishes to help people using the most cutting edge medical knowledge and technology she can get her hands on. She is brave, convincing Dracula to teach her his science and correcting his bad manners to his face. She is forgiving and compassionate, even while being executed, pleading that her husband not take revenge on the people that found her guilty of witchcraft and burned her at the stake. She deserved so much more screen time than she got, and I desperately want to know more about her.

Now lets put her back in context. Lisa is a classic example of the Women in Refrigerators trope. Her purpose in the plot is to die. Dracula then feels sad and takes his feelings out on the whole of humanity. I am so goddamned tired of female characters who are created only so her death can motivate a man.

The series’ third writing issue is the afore mentioned goat fucking joke. It goes on too long and is distasteful. You just wish for it to be over so the plot can move on its merry bloodstained way, because the only thing you’re gaining from the exchange is a dick and shovel joke. Given that they only had four twenty-three minute episodes in the entire season, they should have economized the time they had to focus on the main plot.

The final episode contains the last two major writing issues. One is the duel that wasn’t. I don’t know if I actually like it. On the one hand, it is similar to the scene in Raiders of the Lost Arc where Indiana Jones shoots his opponent after the he goes though an impressive display of dexterity and sword skill. It’s an unexpected conclusion to that scene, but remains enclosed with the two people that it is focusing on. In Castlevania, it’s Trevor who is giving the impressive build up, but an outsider jumps the gun and kills the priest. The tension is broken in an awkward unresolved way, even as the scene itself was resolved. It’s an odd unsatisfied feeling, though I think Ellis was trying to go for black comedy.

The final issue is the death of the Bishop. I’m not arguing with his fate. He absolutely deserved to be disemboweled by demons for what he did. What I don’t like is that he dies without Dracula or Adrian being able to have a direct hand in it. It feels like Ellis completed that arc too early. Both Dracula and Adrian have their emotional arcs, as tied to Lisa, left uncompleted because they do not know that it was this bishop that was the driving force behind her death. And really how shitty is it that Adrian was sleeping for a year right under the man that had a direct hand in the murder of his mother?

In short, I recommend that people do watch Netflix’s Castlevania series. Its witty and engaging, and they really ought to have more episodes to it’s name because the four given are not enough. While I have issues with some of the writing choices and what I think and hope are going to be future choices, they aren’t going to stop me from watching more.