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maya-matlin · 1 year ago

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Hi!! I saw you've been reblogging OTH and remembered that I have so many UOs about that show! I was hoping to confess them to you and would obviously love to hear yours as well if you're comfortable sharing! A few: I hate Leyton, don't think they have any chemistry and they bring out the worst, most unhappy sides of each other - i like ships who have similarities but these two are alike in the worst ways that just bring out each other's flaws. And the attempt to show Leyton being more playful and carefree once they were together just felt so forced and unnatural that it was cringey. I LOVED Jeyton and think that ship brings out by far the happiest and best Peyton and love how Peyton makes carefree goofy Jake deeper - they're perfect for each other. I love Brucas despite not liking the love triangle or really Lucas in general with anyone other than Brooke. Despite season 2 being Naley's worst season, I really love it -mostly because of Brooke's growth, Jeyton, Brucas developing such a deep friendship etc. And finally even though I really wanted to love Brulian I just don't - something about the writing and acting for Julian doesn't work for me AT ALL, he came off like such a sleazy, slick jerk initially and then they tried too hard to make him endearingly dorky and neither persona felt authentic, and he and Brooke just felt so forced to me. We all want to see Brooke get the happily ever after she deserved but it just feels so unearned and unnatural to me and I swear I'm not saying that just because I love Brucas's dynamic! Also regarding Clay and Quinn---the Clay forgetting he had a son thing was insane even for this show and just has me genuinely worried for his stability going forward and Quinn kind of came off like a vapid moron to me not gonna lie lol. Okay, thank you SOOOOO much for letting me vent these to you - it was the OTH-themed therapy I couldn't afford! And despite all this I still love the show and may even start a blog about it lol. You're the best :)

LOL thank you for feeling comfortable sharing all of that with me!

First of all, I pretty much agree about Leyton. They're one of my least favorite ships of all time for a reason. I could understand the appeal back in season 1 and even think they had a smidgen of chemistry back then. But later, absolutely not. The narrative deviated too far away from the idea that Lucas and Peyton were supposed to end up together. Lucas had a big crush on Peyton and was very into the idea of her. But after deciding he wanted to become a better guy and getting to know both girls as a friend, he realized he was in love with Brooke. It's never made ANY sense to me in universe that Lucas would decide to go for the much more difficult option of winning back Brooke over trying again with Peyton if his heart wasn't 100% with Brooke. So by the time the story started to change in season 4, it felt abrupt and unbelievable for Lucas to be "in denial" about his true feelings. Even worse, they played out the exact same story beats in season 5 when the triangle was between Peyton and Lindsey. So, does breaking up with Peyton result in Lucas becoming so distraught that his feelings for her go in the proverbial vault where he genuinely believes they're not there anymore, only for them to come out at just the right, convenient moment? Or does Lucas use Peyton as his easy, backup plan and only passively return to "true love always" when he has no other option and feels she's waited long enough? Anyways, I completely agree about Lucas and Peyton bringing out each other's worst qualities. I strongly feel that they become the worst, most selfish versions of themselves when they're together. They are incapable of getting their shit together without emotionally devastating other people in the process. And by late season 3, Peyton is such a lesser version of who she used to be in service of her being the ideal person for Lucas. Like, the idea that Brooke is becoming more independent and maybe not relying as much on Lucas's physical presence is supposed to signal alarm bells ringing that she doesn't love him enough? But Peyton's love is true because the writers constantly stick her into situations where the prince has to save the damsel in distress? It really does Peyton a disservice. It's okay to desire love and to want someone who will care for you and have your back when you need them, but Peyton's life always takes such a depressing turn right around the time she decides she wants Lucas. Ex: attempted rape, Ellie's death, school shooting, not being successful in LA. The problem with LP is that they were such an angsty couple to begin with. That's where they thrived. Whenever their relationship became more happy and cheesy, the chemistry was completely off. Whatever the opposite of natural chemistry is, that's what they had.

I don't have much to add about Brucas and Jeyton, but I feel the same way. I feel like their love stories were well written during seasons 2 and 3 and even parts of season 1. The chemistry between both was undeniable, and Brooke and Jake brought out much more likable, more selfless sides of Lucas and Peyton.

YES. I'm a big fan of season 2. While not every aspect of it was the best, the highs outweighed the lows for me. Almost all of the episodes are watchable and have great moments in them that don't detract from them. In my opinion, season 4, in contrast, is actively more bad than good up until 409, and overall has a much different tone from the first three seasons. Both Brooke and Peyton suffer from awful writing, and Haley is pushed into the background during her own pregnancy to focus almost exclusively on Nathan.

I get what you mean. I haven't gotten to the Julian years on my current rewatch, but they never grabbed me the way Brucas did. The chemistry was just.. lesser. It's no one's fault. You can't predict which actors are going to pop on screen. It makes sense that Brooke's chemistry and relationship with Julian would feel more comfortable and sweet rather than passionate and intense. But at the same time, I don't root for them as much as I'd like to for those exact reasons. I feel like when Brucas was at their best, none of Brooke's other relationships could come close. Julian's writing was odd. He's actively a different character in season 6 compared to seasons 8 and 9. I really wish he hadn't been introduced as Peyton's former love interest. That wasn't needed.

As for Clay and Quinn, I'm mostly neutral on Quinn as a character and their relationship. But I agree that Clay forgetting he had a child was A LOT. They could have easily adopted a child together, but instead they decided Clay needed a long lost child with his dead wife. The only reason they halfway got away with that is because Logan was by far the cutest kid alive.

You should definitely start an OTH blog! I'd follow you. <3

Unpopular opinions:

I could never hate or resent Haley for the tour. I think the writing surrounding all of that was incredibly sexist and kind of manipulative so that it would be in Nathan's favor rather than Haley's. We spent so much time on his perspective and his depression over the whole thing, but pretty much no screen time was devoted to Haley's time on the tour or what her conflicting feelings were re: Nathan and her marriage until she came home at the end of the season. There were different ideas offered up in regards to Haley/Chris. One was that she was simply envious of his freedom to pursue his dreams. Another is that Haley had genuine romantic feelings for Chris and was lying to herself for obvious reasons. I don't feel like any of that was given any closure.

I actively ignore the Brooke/Nathan sex tape. It was painfully clear the retcon was only added in to let Peyton (and Lucas) off the hook for betraying Brooke a second time and to conveniently "even the score" while making it appear Brooke had been a hypocrite all along.

Peyton confessing to Brooke that she still had feelings for Lucas wasn't noble, and her behavior after Brooke became hurt and angry to the point of asking Brooke whether or not she loved Lucas makes it clear that at least subconsciously, Peyton wasn't saying what she said solely to be honest and clear the air.

I shipped Haley and Chris a little bit. I'm so happy they never got together because it would have ruined everything, but there were vibes there.

I liked Alex better than Mia.

I love Rachel and think the writers did her SO dirty.

Deb was cringy after season 1. She still had good moments and I know that professionally, Barbara preferred her work as later Deb, but I always preferred the Deb that somewhat had her shit together. Later on, it felt like she was turned into too much of an anti Karen.

Anna was a good character. She was just awkwardly paired with Lucas and attached to Felix - who was the WORST.

So I guess my unpopular opinions are that I love most of the female characters? Even Peyton, even though it probably didn't come across that way LOL

#Anti Leyton #Anonymous #Long post

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aros001 · 3 years ago

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Read through light novel vol. 11. Random thoughts.

Okay, right off the bat, this

is my favorite art in the books yet just because of how annoyed Naofumi looks.

It's always been a thing but I've been seeing it more in these last couple of books, especially in contrast to Sadeena and Alta, but I really like that Naofumi likes that Raphtalia will push back against him when she doesn't like something, be it his attitude, his action, or his ideas. He doesn't want a yes-man or someone who'll worship and never question him. Child Raphtalia was kind of his sidekick but adult Raphtalia is definitely his partner. They trust each other completely and they never have to worry about holding back their honest thoughts. This is especially important if there is to ever be a romantic relationship between the two of them. Romance is not supposed to be just the guy and his prize. Naofumi and Raphtalia I can see working as a couple because they genuinely see each other as equals.

So, as has been revealed so far, Trash's family, save for himself and his younger blind sister, were murdered by the hakuko. He hated Siltvelt because it's where the hakuko came from and his own kingdom for taking no action against them for those murders. Then later his sister was attacked by a hakuko and presumably murdered and possibly raped but the body was never found, thus pushing him to overthrow the king of Siltvelt because he was a hakuko.

And he hates the Devil of the Shield because...! ...A previous Shield Hero helped to found Siltvelt? I get that Siltvelt is a demi-human supremacist country and that it worships the Shield Hero but I feel like there's a little bit of a disconnect in Trash's hatred. I suppose his hatred for Naofumi didn't blow up until he thought he tried to force himself on Malty and before that he just treated him dismissively, but I can't help but feel like I'm missing something here. Also, didn't the previous Shield Hero die in Siltvelt a month into him being summoned? I get that hatred and the desire for revenge are not always very rational, especially when religion is thrown into the mix, but I feel like it's odd he's placed so much of it on Naofumi and the Shield Hero as a whole.

So Fohl and Alta are possibly the nephew and niece of Trash through his sister and the grandchildren of the hakuko king of Siltvelt whom he killed. Obviously I'm hoping Trash's sister wasn't raped to conceive them and that it was just a forbidden love like was one of Naofumi's theories, but I guess I'll find that out in a later book.

Also, poor Naofumi and poor Raphtalia. Either Alta wants to be with Naofumi (romantically or...) or she's on her way to becoming the new pope of the Church of the Shield Hero. She was reminding me a little bit of Neia from Overlord and her devotion to Ainz in the latter regard.

“Apparently there’s a new bandit chief that’s risen to power lately, and we’ll be wasting our time unless we capture him.” ... “That’s the thing. I don’t know all the details, but apparently the boss is really distrustful and rarely makes appearances. But he’s also supposed to be strong enough to pick off even the toughest of adventurers one by one without a problem.”

This is going exactly where I think it's going, isn't it?

[Five minutes later]

Yep.

Reading this book and I realized my main issue with Ren, beyond the issues he shares with the other two heroes, was how unbelievably condescending he'd been to Eclair, someone who knew her way with a sword WAY better than he did, just to protect his own ego after he would have lost if he hadn't cheated in their duel. That left a really bad taste in my mouth but it's still not as bad as what I dislike about Motoyasu and especially Itsuki. He hasn't yet specifically apologized for that but he is showing her a lot more respect and being clearly remorseful over his actions. Even him blaming his loss against the Spirit Tortoise on his party's weakness and not his own I could swallow fine because there was the implication that he was unable to deal with the guilt of it being his fault that they were all dead, which, while bad, is a very human thing to feel. As long as he takes his training seriously from this point on and doesn't regress back, I can look forward to his progress and his interactions with Naofumi.

I actually was slightly spoiled before I started reading the light novels that the other heroes were going to unlock their own curse series as well. It was minor because I didn't hear any specifics beyond that but the person I was reading I remember being really unhappy about it. Personally, I'm fine with it. The Holy Weapons are meant to be equal to each other so it makes sense they'd have similar unlockable abilities (relative to what each weapon is, of course). The reason Naofumi is so much stronger is supposed to be because he actually bothered to learn how to use his weapon and because he took how he was told to power it up seriously. If he had an ability the others had no equivalent of it would basically be cheating. Part of the criticism too was that Naofumi had been through so much worse than the others to unlock his curse series, but everyone has different levels of stress they can take and it definitely helps that, thus far, each curse series embodies a different sin and thus has different effects. Motoyasu is clearly being effected differently by his Spear of (I'm assuming) Lust than Naofumi is by the Shield of Wrath or Ren by the Sword of Greed.

Speaking of which, I'm not the only one who felt a big red flag over Motoyasu's Temptation ability, right? I'm not saying he would abuse such a thing but powers that force attraction on people always makes me feel very uncomfortable. Just the fact that it worked on Naofumi whom is both straight and can't stand Motoyasu shows it can work on pretty much anyone who doesn't have specific resistances. It's a scary thing, your romantic and sexual preferences being altered by an outside force. Like a date rape drug weaponized.

The whole controversy over RoTSH's first episode holds less and less weight the further into the series I go. Naofumi vs. Motoyasu I'd argue has several great examples of feminism vs. sexism throughout the story. Naofumi was horribly betrayed by Malty but he doesn't hate women or use what she did as an excuse to. He's simply distrustful of anyone who can potentially betray him and is put off by the idea of any romantic or sexual relationships. Motoyasu gets betrayed by Malty (and his two other party members) and now sees all women as pigs, save for Filo, whom he's now obsessed with. The stupid criticism of RoTSH was that the series had Malty representing all women; that all women lie about being sexually assaulted and that all women are horrible bitches. That is the mentality Motoyasu now has, judging all women by the actions of one.

“Mr. Ren . . . I’m sure you’ve felt just terrible this whole time after losing your companions. It’s okay to cry now. Don’t worry. Even if the whole world insists you’re a criminal, I still believe in you, Mr. Ren. I believe you were fighting for the sake of the world.”

I love how, even after everything else she's done, the thing that makes me hate Bitch almost as much, if not more, as when she made the false rape accusation was her plagiarizing the words Raphtalia had said to finally reach Naofumi's heart and earn his trust. It just felt like such a violation, sullying that moment so much that you just want Bitch to die almost as much as Naofumi does.

Though I suppose it's Witch now, huh? Doesn't have quite the same punch as Bitch but I don't want to call her the Witch Bitch because that's my nickname for Satella in Re:Zero and that's more a term of endearment ironically enough. I don't want to sully her by putting her in any kind of association with Malty.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/shieldbro/comments/fh9syh/read_through_light_novel_vol_11_random_thoughts/

#rising of the shield hero #random thoughts #reddit repost

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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 5 years ago

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Fix Me (doctor/soulmate AU) {2}

Summary: Ethan wakes up to a whole new set of challenges with his soulmate, but he had no idea just how deep the trouble she would get into would be. With a medieval infection in the hospital, Ethan only thinks of her.

Warnings: angst, slight fluff, swearing, medical descriptions of things some might find nauseating, infectious disease

Word count: 5.3k

Fix Me (doctor/soulmate AU) series Masterlist

A/N - heavily inspired by Grey’s anatomy, my own experiences and thoughts, but also by songs: Birdy - Not about angels, Bear’s den - Fortress, Matthew and the atlas - Out of the darkness, Harry Styles - Falling, Kodaline - Wherever you are.

I really hope you guys like it! Feedback is always wanted and appreciated, no matter how small or big it is!

If you want to be tagged for future parts, reply down below.

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Pistanthrophobia - fear of trusting others

Waking up alone is the last thing Ethan expected, but to wake up alone and nearly five hours later was definitely unbelievable. Not a single page? Not one of his interns fucked up so badly that they paged him thousands of times? Maybe he misjudged this generation after all?

"Nah", Ethan mumbled to himself, shaking his head as he pulled himself up to sit. Rubbing his cheeks, he tried to stop himself from smiling, to stop the warm feeling in his chest where she laid atop him but he couldn't. Even if she left before he had woke, Ethan was happy with their progress, although leaving him in bed alone seemed to have become her memo.

Dragging himself out to get a cup of coffee during this tireless double shift, Ethan wondered if she'd be waiting for him close by or if she was feeling better after losing her first patient, but he found himself disappointed when he couldn't find a single trace of her. His phone vibrated and even if he wanted anything but to pick up the call, the only person he knew was persistent enough to wait for the last ring was his brother and he always picked up Grayson's calls.

"What do you want?" Ethan grumbled, slipping a few coins into the vending machine for that cup of coffee he was dying for, not in the mood to speak but he thought it might be important.

"Good morning to you too, sunshine." Grayson chuckled, waiting to hear his brother groan or growl on the other line and he didn't have to wait for long.

"Just wondering if you misplaced something? Or someone?" Grayson teased as if he didn't know his brother isn't a morning person and he was definitely not in the mood for games.

"What are you talking about?" Ethan frowned, grabbing his cup eagerly as it fills up.

"Just heard one of your interns ask for a transfer and they told her no, but she seemed adamant that the cardio resident she's assigned to isn't right for her education here." Grayson licked his lips, aware he's pulling at the right strings because even if he never saw the elusive Y/N, he felt like her description matched the girl Ethan told him about a year ago, his instincts screamed it was her, and he was quite unhappy with his brother's lack of sharing for he would have expected at least a text from Ethan about his soulmate being his intern.

"What was her name? Did you hear that?" Ethan cleared his throat, pursing his lips nervously because he really fucking hoped the progress he thought he made wasn't just erased. Did he scare her off?

"Y/N Y/L/N. Your soulmate?" Grayson clarified and Ethan leaned against the wall with his eyes closed. He managed to fuck it up, he just didn't know how.

"Did she see you?" Ethan asked, gnawing on the inside of his bottom lip, annoyed with himself because it seems as if every step he takes toward her, she takes two back.

"Nope, but I did tell the nurse I'll take your interns over for the day. They should see the miracle of life before they see death. Thank me later." Ending the conversation, Grayson moved to meet the interns at the changing rooms, eager to meet the little Miss who drove his brother up the wall. In a way, Grayson was fascinated by this woman who seems to disappear like a ghost every time Ethan was near and he didn't understand why she was fighting this unmovable force of nature.

"So, uh, I heard you killed a guy on your first day." Cocky intern leaned into Y/N who was just trying to tie her shoes and get on with the day. Escaping Ethan's arms wasn't easy, especially when he seems to have a death grip in his sleep. But she had to go, to leave and find a way to switch mentors before she fell for him, the guy who clearly wasn't falling for her.

"I'm Brett and I like girls who get their hands dirty." His cheshire grin made her sick to her stomach because as attractive as he is with his pale blue eyes and blonde hair, she had absolutely nothing but disgust for him.

"Leave her alone, asshole. She doesn't care who you are." The only other female intern spoke up and Y/N chuckled lowly, nodding in agreement.

"I'm Alex." The blonde settled beside her, shooing Brett away with her hand until he rolled his eyes and left to get dressed.

"Y/N. Thanks for getting rid of the fleas." Y/N leaned back on the wall as Alex laughed and Brett turned back just to make an annoyed grimace at the two.

"So, how was the boss yesterday? Was it easy working with a hot genius like him? Did you have sex in the on call room?" Alex whisper shouted in excitement and Y/N's face fell, realizing Alex won't be the friend she hoped she would be a moment ago. She just wanted gossip.

"He's a talented surgeon and a good teacher. As for the rest, this isn't Grey's anatomy, on call rooms are for rest not sex." But before she has a chance to get up, someone walks in - authoritative and eager; way too eager with his pink scrubs.

"Good morning. My name is Grayson Dolan and I am to be your boss man for the day." The moment Y/N looked at him, her heart stopped. There are too many similarities between Grayson and Ethan and she was realizing one irrefutable fact.

"There's two of you?!" The words escaped her and she slapped a hand over her mouth as quickly as possible, just not fast enough to stop herself from becoming an embarrassment.

The left corner of Grayson's lips curled up, forming a smirk as he turned his attention to Y/N, taking a good look of what destiny had chosen for his twin and he knew she was trouble even without Ethan's complaints about his torn up heart. She looked like she was made for heartbreak but also the loveliest nights.

"My brother and I may wear the same face but there are very few similarities between us which I'm sure you will learn in time." Grayson winked, before turning his eyes to the rest of the room. "You all will. After all, we will be seeing each other weekly from now on. One of you will be mine for a week until you have your OBGYN hours filled."

Swallowing thickly, Y/N looked away nervously as she fidgeted with her stethoscope. She felt warm, as if her body forgot to regulate her temperature and she could hardly breathe.

'Did it get hot in here? Or is this guy's sunshine personality setting every room aflame?' She wondered silently, thinking how as awkward as it was around Ethan, at least he didn't force conversations and he didn't seem like the overly curious type that pries into people's lives as Grayson does. He looks like the kind of a person people go to in order to feel better, for his warmth and cheerfulness to transfer onto them - he was the definition of sunshine, a cure for dark and depressing people and Y/N was certainly one of them. But she didn't want a cure and she didn't want him to meddle. For the first time ever, Y/N wanted to spend time with Ethan, in the comfort he gave because he didn't force happy onto her and she felt safe in feeling what she feels, knowing she didn't have to adjust, to change. It was the first time she hoped for Ethan, but it wouldn't be the last time.

And lucky for her, he showed up right on time, just as she started losing her shit.

Fingers snapped in front of her face and Y/N gasped, blinking fast as her eyes refocused on identical twins that stood before her. "Hey! Are you listening to any of this?" Grayson questioned with a slight smile, genuinely entertained by her and her dreamer personality because he was sure it would both annoy and compliment Ethan's personality. Ethan is a dreamer too, but never at work and that would surely be a challenge for the pair.

"Um. Missed the few last minutes. Probably should get a cup of coffee." She raised her eyebrows, trying to seem convincing because she didn't want to be unprofessional but she also didn't want to piss off two of her teachers.

"Well, let me sum it up. You're in the pit today, page me if you find any pregnant women in need of a consult or any cardio patients. That's when you -" Stopping him mid-sentence, Ethan jumped in. "That's when you page me."

With a nod, Y/N pressed her lips together and pushed her hands into the front pockets of her lab coat, hoping they would just stop staring at her so intently, as if they're expecting something of her and she can't understand what that is.

"Got it."

She rushed out of there faster than humanly possible, needing room to breathe because for whatever reason, the Dolan twins made it impossible to draw in a proper breath during that short interaction.

Expecting insanity in the ER, she had managed to eat a granola bar before heading into a rather calm emergency room. Using the chance, she introduced herself to the staff, learned the proper numbering of beds and trauma rooms and a few hours in, she finally got a proper case.

"I'm doctor Y/L/N." She smiled, gathering information from the patient while doing a checkup.

"So you're an exterminator?" She kept her voice airy, her tone pleasant as she noted the man has a fewer, complains of chills, muscle aches, diarrhea, cough and fatigue.

'Likely the flu', she presumed.

"For the last thirty years. Used to be a banker, a painter and a writer in my three hundred years." Hearing that sparked jealousy in her heart. She shouldn't be jealous about other people managing to do all they wanted to in their long lives, but she was. She had plans of her own and they seem unlikely with her current soulmate situation.

"Sounds like quite an adventurous life." She smiled, checking for swollen lymph nodes. Finding quite swollen, tender but firm lymph nodes, Y/N frowned, cold sweat forming at the back of her neck as the man coughed. Managing to turn her head to the side, she grasped for a facemask and placed it for protection as she prayed. Caution is always better than reckless endangerment.

'Surely it can't be...'

"Is everything alright?" The man questioned, startled by the sudden change in her stance and the odd look in her eye.

"Can you please take your socks off?" She asked, hoping it won't be what she thinks it is because that would be just her luck.

However, the moment this man took his socks off, he took a few fingers off in the process and no matter how many times she had read about gangrene, she still wasn't prepared to see it up close and personal. The foul smell of rotting flesh made her stomach turn and she struggled to keep her composure. You're supposed to be calm and collected but they don't really prepare you for this in med school.

"Oh, God!" She exclaimed, looking around wildly to figure out what to do.

"Stay calm, sir!" She told him but she seemed more upset than he did. As if he knew it was in such a state, as if he had come in for the gangrene in the first place - the 'by the way' syndrome at its best.

With shaky hands, mask in place, she stumbled to the nurse's station and lowered her voice, careful not to touch anything or anyone.

"I have strong suspicion that we have a case of the Black Death...the pulmonary type, and I've been exposed. Make sure all the patients are isolated just in case and then make sure so am I. I'll take samples for the lab, send them as emergent testing, I'll write a CITO order. And disinfect every inch of this floor." Y/N ordered, her voice shaky as she set herself back to see the patient again, preparing to take samples to confirm her diagnosis. She hoped to God she managed to get that mask on in time, swearing under her breath for being reckless and assuming it's the flu and that she'd be fine. She finally got her immune system up, she finally got her vaccines and she got cocky, thinking she's untouchable and now while everyone else is delivering babies or having once in a lifetime surgeries, she'll be in isolation because she got a patient with a medieval diagnosis. Just her luck.

And while Y/N was being quarantined along with the three patients who had the misfortune of being in at the same time and one nurse that admitted the patient, the entire ER closing for disinfection, Ethan and Grayson were drinking coffee in peace.

"She's definitely a piece of work." Grayson chuckled lowly, raising the cup to his lips casually as if Ethan wasn't snorting at his statement, aware of that fact even without his brother pointing it out.

"Young too. She's a baby surgeon, Ethan." Grayson deadpanned, taking a sip before putting his cup down. Curling his fingers around the cup, he scrunched the plastic cup easily, something he did with every plastic cup he drank from.

"Is there a reason why you're stating all known facts?" Ethan sassed back, sarcastic undertones very clear and matching his annoyed face. While Grayson sat back relaxed, Ethan tapped his fingers on the desk continuously, telling just how difficult Ethan finds the situation at hand. He wanted to know this girl so badly but she didn't seem to share that want. How do you love someone who doesn’t want to be loved?

"Yeah. I'm tryna’ help you bro. She's young, meaning she didn't have a hundred years like you to do her thing first. She didn't have time to be her before being your soulmate. Besides, did you even tell her you're her soulmate? Does she even know it's you? Because if you're not ready to risk your pride and heart for her, why are you expecting it from her?" Grayson raised an eyebrow, waiting for Ethan to open his mouth and say something right, something that would lead him on the path toward her and just as his lips part and the lost look in his eyes fades, Alex, the intern he barely remembered by anything except her being the only other woman with a fancy stethoscope, walked in with news he never wanted to hear.

"Y/N, I mean one of your interns is in quarantine!" She screamed more than spoke, her eyes wide and cheeks flushed.

"What the fuck do you mean by quarantine?!" Ethan jumped to his feet in an instant, feeling as if a bucket of ice cold water fell on his head and he had never been as wide awake as he is now.

"It's the black death."

Autophobia - fear of being alone

Loneliness had never bothered her before. Accustomed to the lone wolf kind of a life, Y/N had started questioning the unsettling feeling in her chest. After all the time she had spent on her own, she was scared by the coldness inside her that lived within ever since she snuck out of Grant’s apartment where she had left her underwear along with her virginity. That feeling of coldness was gone since he had appeared in her life again and now when she found herself isolated, alone again, she felt the cold grasp at her insides once more and for the first time in her life, Y/N wasn’t prepared to be alone again.

“Hey there. Feeling good?” She didn’t meant to smile when she heard the sound of his voice nor did she mean to let her eyes light up with the sight of his pretty brown eyes on the other side of the glass. She hadn’t expected her heart to jump inside her chest nor did she expect her cheeks to flush considering she’s wearing just a hospital gown and while she managed to hide her ass, she still felt exposed, indecent.

“Yeah. Already started myself on antibiotics before the CDC came in.” She shrugged slightly, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip as she approached the glass slowly, wondering if he’d be proud of her for managing to handle the situation so well. Or as well as it was possible in the moment. She didn’t expect Ethan to be anything but.

“Great!” He exclaimed with a smile that quickly turned sour and her own smile fell, the light in her eyes fading as he started yelling. “NOW I GET TO SCREAM AT YOU FOR BEING SO RECKLESS!”

Pacing left and right, he managed to keep his eyes on her, his hands shaking as he questioned her.

“I’m not sure what the hell you were thinking going to talk to a patient with a flu without a mask or why you were even seeing a flu patient when you’re a surgical intern! Now I’m down an intern and when we said some of you won’t make it till the end of the training, we didn’t mean you should go and recklessly handle patients until you catch a deadly infectious disease!” Throat hoarse, aware of the wandering nurses’ eyes that held judgement and the slightest bit of entertainment, Ethan stopped to take a deep breath and at least try to stop the never ending pounding of his heart and maybe it’s wrong of him to yell at her when she’s in a stressful situation of her own, but she is his soulmate and he barely had the chance to love her and he is scared to death he never will. So yes, he is angry and he is struggling to understand her and the dustiest parts of her soul but it’s beyond him. She’s beyond everything and everyone he has ever met.

“Reckless?” She snorted, folding her arms across her chest, shifting her weight onto her left foot before she too had something to say and while she wasn’t necessarily shouting, she wasn’t quiet either.

“I had my flu shot so I though approaching the flu patient without a mask might be less frightening for the poor man. Also, there was no one else in the ER to see the patient but me! Was I supposed to prolong his suffering when I’m perfectly capable of doing a physical myself? I did what any doctor would and more considering I made a rather remarkably rare diagnosis so quickly that I prevented that man from getting the rest of the hospital staff exposed! You should be proud of me, not pissed off!” Eyebrows knitted together, her eyes narrowed at him and lips pressed together, Y/N stood her ground, refusing to apologize for what she did because she didn’t think she made a mistake. Sure, the mask was a miss, but she would learn from her mistakes…if she gets the chance.

“You page me if she gets symptoms!” Ethan didn’t even spare Y/N a glance as he ordered the nurse and left her alone in that glass room that felt like a prison. He just stormed out, like a man with a paper sword that couldn’t handle losing an argument. For a girl who was all too used to hospitals, she wasn’t quite prepared to go through yet another period of time in a hospital bed.

“Do you need anything else, sweetie”, the nurse asked her, handing her a thoroughly cleaned stuffed animal to hold, her favorite one. A girl of mere ten years facing such a monstrous disease that grew within? It made the nurses cry after every shift. All the kids in the department did, as rare as it was.

“Are my parents coming?” Y/N asked quietly, her voice hoarse. Anyone’s voice would be hoarse after throwing up for five days straight, unable to keep anything down.

“I’m sorry baby, not this week.” The look of pity on the nurse’s face was what Y/N hated the most. She hated being treated like a baby, like a delicate little porcelain doll that couldn’t handle the world. She had faced more in her short life than those who chased immortality. She was very aware of the toxic relationship her parents shared and how they prioritized each other over her. She had learned to accept that.

“That’s fine. At least I have Mr. Cuddles.”

Y/N wished she had Mr. Cuddles now, to just have something or someone to hold. She wished she could relieve the sadness and the annoying sense of abandonment Ethan’s abrupt leaving left her with. She wanted him to stay a while longer for he made her feel lighter without even trying and she hated him for being an ass to her and even more so when he didn’t visit her for the next two days.

Thantophobia – phobia of losing someone you love

However, she didn’t know he was there whenever she was asleep, watching her with a worrisome heart and a tired mind. He knew she was a little troublesome, but he didn’t know she would make that tiny streak of silver hair turn into a full set of grey hair. It’s what he’d be facing in less than a year if her behavior continues as it is.

What he didn’t expect is for her to open her eyes in the middle of the night, finding him on a chair with his head resting on his numb propped up hand. She rolled her eyes at him instantly, pushing herself up with some difficulty before detaching her own IV.

“Scared I’ll die?” She asked groggily, taking a sip of her water to soothe her dry throat. She was definitely starting to feel ill, hating how her body turned weaker and weaker as it did when she was on her treatments. She didn’t want to go back to being the poor girl who sat alone in her room with no family to see her. Making friends with other patients was easy, but they could never touch, never risk getting each other sick. They were social distancing by sitting on opposite beds or coming to each other’s rooms and sitting on a chair by the door when one was too sick to get out of bed. But she didn’t have any patients to make friends with now.

“Yeah. But not from the plague.” Ethan huffed, swallowing before speaking. “Your tests are still being done, will probably be negative but you do have strep, so we’ll have to treat that unless you want to be on my table in about thirty years with faulty heart valves.” Standing, Ethan nodded to the penicillin she had inside her room, hinting it’s better she takes it on her own, although he didn’t mind getting into a hazmat suit if it meant seeing her ass again.

“Great. So if I do have it, I’ll be dealing with two diseases at once. Nice. Nice luck I got here.” Sarcasm dripping with every word she formed, Y/N grabbed the prepared medicine and groaned. She hated getting shots, even more so penicillin ones because they always hurt like a bitch. However, she had a fairly high pain tolerance after everything she’s been through. The nurses used to say when she complained of pain, they immediately called doctors to check up on her because her six was usually a ten on other kids’ pain scale.

Palping, she found the site she’s supposed to stick a needle in. Closing her eyes as she shakes her head, Y/N let out a dry chuckle at the ridiculous situation but she was ready to do it anyway. She didn’t care about Ethan being there, he couldn’t see her ass from where she was standing, but he could see her face. So, she took great care not to make a face when the needle pierced her skin nor when the penicillin started burning, her entire leg feeling like it would give out. Slowly, she injected the medicine, breathing a little shallow but she was proud of herself for remaining calm and collected, even with Ethan there.

“Wow. Actually did it. Impressive, rookie.” Ethan teased, his arms crossed and his face smug. Y/N didn’t like that. “I was sure you’d tap out in the last second. I’m actually surprised you weren’t late giving yourself the medicine like you were on your first day!”

But she wasn’t in the mood for jokes and he missed that.

“Un-fucking-believable! Now?! You want to keep taunting me now? I have no words!” She screamed at him, her hands up in the air in frustration as her nostrils flare and her eyes widen with a new thought. “Oh! Wait! I’m thinking of some! Jerk! Ass! Arrogant! Man-child!” Her throat felt raw and her face hot, but she was ready to fight even if her legs did shake in his presence…or was it her rage? Maybe the infection? She couldn’t tell anymore, especially when he raised his index finger and his face was overtaken with a wide smile and a chuckle followed soon.

“Hold up! Man-child?”

“YES! A fucking man-child!” She repeated herself and that’s when his smile faded and he remembered he’s supposed to be her mentor and this is supposed to be his hospital. Soulmate or not, he couldn’t tolerate this behavior.

“I’d caution you to watch what you say to your boss. You better shut your mouth if the next words coming from you don’t include an apology.” Ethan warned, his hands folded before him and he was no longer Grant as she saw him as most of the time. This was doctor Ethan Dolan, the man she was sure would make her life miserable and while she wanted to keep yelling at him, she couldn’t.

It wasn’t because she had a moment of clarity or because she thought kissing his ass would get her somewhere, figuratively not literally as she had already done that and she knew he had a pineapple on it. No, she felt something different, something she read about but never saw let alone felt. Her throat started closing up and her lungs burned for oxygen she couldn’t provide no matter how hard she tried.

Holding her throat, her eyes wide and bulging, Y/N fell to her knees, unable to hear Ethan who screamed for the nurses from the ringing in her ears that made her deaf to the world. Her face swelled up, her eyes closing and she could no longer see or hear, only feel and she felt herself slipping, falling to the ground, desperately heaving for some air.

Ethan couldn’t wait, couldn’t follow protocol and get himself in a hazmat suit before panic opening the room with his key-card, grabbing the emergency kit as he entered, collapsing on his knees beside her, an adrenaline shot in hand. Administering the adrenaline, bronchodilators, corticosteroids, antihistamines and an oxygen mask, Ethan finally felt like there might be hope as the swelling started to go down and he could hear her breathe again. He had her back on the bed, second line of medication set to drip in her IV.

Shaking uncontrollably, he had stared at every movement her chest made and listened intently to every intake of breath she had made, terrified his worst fear might still come true and he might lose her, rendering him alone for the rest of his life. Sure, Grayson would be insulted with these thoughts of his, but having a soulmate as you age is what life is supposed to be about, not a twin who’d make remarks about every line he gets on his face or how saggy his balls must be getting. She was what his whole life has come down to and hundred more years couldn’t counter the happiness he got to experience in a single night with her. That would never change.

Hours passed and he finally relaxed, not enough to sleep but enough to sit down and breathe.

Exhaling loudly, Ethan looked around for a chair or something to brave the night in, aware he’s now stuck in the room with her for as long as it takes for the tests of her swabs return which would likely take a few more hours at this point. He didn’t regret his actions and he understood why she defended her own so fiercely earlier. It was funny how he understood her soon after every fight they have and they had quite a few squabbles in this double shift – the first of many. She has a breathtaking, wildfire heart and he absolutely loved her for it. He had infinite tenderness for her. He always will. As long as he lives.

“If you get the plague and die, I will kill you.” Grayson threatened from the other side of the glass, his own fear of losing Ethan showing in his deep brown orbs, even more so in the frown he couldn’t hide. And Grayson Dolan was many things, but not a man who frowns easily.

“You can’t make me feel guilty over something I don’t regret.” Ethan shrugged, pressing his lips together before closing the distance between them. The glass stood as a barrier, one that would keep Grayson safe in case Ethan does catch a deadly illness but he had faith it would turn out to be nothing.

“I know. I’d have done the same.” Grayson shrugs sadly, a small smile gracing his lips as he looks over Ethan’s shoulder to see Y/N. “How is she?” He too cared for the girl, too quickly but he did. He saw her as a sister, someone to protect. He saw her as an extension of his brother’s soul.

“Good for now. The allergic reaction stopped but we have her on some meds to make sure it doesn’t enter into the late stage. As for her strep infection, I’ve got her on other meds that won’t kill her so that should be fine too. I expect her to be fully capable of chewing me out in the morning.” Ethan chuckled lowly, turning around to make sure she’s still asleep and while he had no intention on telling her about them just yet, he couldn’t stay away from her. Not ever.

“Why? Did you tell her you’re her soulmate?” Grayson clasped his hands in excitement and he reminded Ethan more of a high school cheerleader than doctor with more than a hundred years of experience under his belt. He loved how positive Grayson is, but he needed to keep his voice down when he’s spilling state secrets, especially when the subject at hand is only a few meters away.

“SHHH!” Ethan whisper-shouted, wishing he was on the other side of the glass to smack his brother over the head and teach him a lesson.

“She doesn’t know and I don’t plan on telling her. She’ll figure it out herself and until then, I want her to know me without the pressure of having a soulmate bond. Bro, I just want her to see we’re made for one another and not run from me every chance she gets.” Ethan rubbed his forehead in frustration, glancing over his shoulder at her stirring figure, unaware she managed to catch a few words the two have spoken about her and while she may be under the influence of more than one drug at the moment, she knew it was important to remember that Ethan and Grayson have both muttered the words she feared most of all – soulmate.

However, moments later for her, minutes for Ethan, she felt a knuckle against her cheek, gently dragging along her skin before the warmth of touch disappeared and she decided she wanted it to last longer, her hand moving on instinct, grasping Ethan’s.

Smiling in the darkness, Ethan settled beside her in a chair, his hand holding hers for dear life.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Tags: @beinscorpio @peacedolantwins @heyits-claire @dolandolll @godlydolans @dolanstwintuesday @ethanhes @iwastornsincethestart @graydolan12 @fxkthatdairy @zeusgrayson @libradolan @justordinaryjen @pineappledolan @graysavant @voguekristens @imayoutubere @livexdolan

(some of you couldn’t be tagged for some reason, probably Tumblr’s fault)

#dolan twins #ethan dolan #ethan dolan x reader #ethan dolan doctor soulmate au #ethan dolan fluff #ethan dolan angst #ethan dolan fanfiction #ethan dolan fic #ethan dolan fanfic #grayson dolan

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magnumdays · 5 years ago

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Magnum PI 2x20 - A Leopard on the Prowl review-ish

So I watched 2x20 after 2x19 both times and maybe that colored my view of it a little. In a both good and bad way. I enjoyed 19 so thoroughly I kind of just had a good feel going into this ep, since we started with some Miggy with the lads (always a good time) I had high hopes for this episode as well. At the same time I wasn’t sure how it was going to beat 19. Which it solved by not doing.

Yeah, as far as a season finale I’d say this one was pretty weak. Where was Ivan? Where was the personal stakes and involvement? Icepick is not a important enough character for us to care about and while there was some worry for Rick it all felt a tad bit lack luster - for a season finale. If not for the whole Higgins is leaving (which to be honest I was kind of figuring wouldn’t happen even with the way they’d been building it up) this wouldn’t have felt like a finale at all.

So yeah, this should have just been a normal episode. We could have skipped the Vigilant or Love tour ep. and used the Icepick plot for one of those instead and had a totally different season finale...maybe with Ivan? This seasons big bad? Or are they setting Ivan up as the whole series big bad? Because that would suck (as some of you know I found Ivan to be like the lamest bad guy ever.)

Yeah. That’s how I’d have done it but...

On the plus side we did get some nice moments, starting out we got Magnum worrying Higgins will go back to London and decide she wants to stay...maybe she’ll meet someone... (I swear, some lines make me think Lenkov is co-captain of the Miggy ship with me...)

And later when he’s out paddling he admits to himself he’s really going to miss her. We also have Miggy having a little bit of a thing with the “You’re bailing on our partnership - I’m NOT! Turing into a I’m sad you’re leaving but you know I’m still going to bother you all the time while you’re in England...”

I feel like if Rick hadn’t shown up we might have gotten some more emotion here. But he does walk in and I guess that’s a symptom of this whole episode.

There are a lot of things that could have leveled it up but failed to, emotion vise. Like how about Icepick doing the robbery to keep Rick safe because someone was using him as leverage? Instantly I care more about him and there for would care more about everything.

Or actually having Magnum work to “fix” the visa problem rather than just randomly handing it off to Robin. I mean I already winged about this in the 2x19 review a bit but having Magnum actually have to trade some favors or make some promises would have been nice. Maybe having him reach out to some dangerous contact he had at the CIA from back in the days or something that could come back to bite him.

Or radical thought HAVE HIGGINS ACTUALLY HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE UK. I didn’t think this was really a possibility even before watching the episode and while I don’t mind the whole “Higgy now owns Robin’s Nest” (in fact I really enjoy it) it did feel like a bit of a cop out. Like what was the point of the whole visa expiring and fake wedding fake outs? Nothing changed other than that she is now officially Magnum’s boss and own’s Robin’s Nest. Was that what it was all about? Then why not go there straight away and skip the whole fake wedding bit?

We had all this angsty build up with her deciding not to marry Mangum and then no one at all and time running out. It could have been a bit bittersweet and almost fixed the rest of the episode if it had just ended on Magnum and Higgins hugging at the airport or before she gets in the cab after everyone throw her a party. He could have gone “see you in six months” and she’d be all “Count on it“.

I’m not sure if they didn’t go that route because they were worried about not getting renewed and thought this would be their last episode ever and they wanted to wrap it up neatly with a bow on top or what?

It’s not like having a six month time skip would have been that big of a problem, or having the first episode of season 3 be Magnum constantly calling Higgins while she’s in London.

With the time difference this could have been hilarious he’d be phoning her in the middle of the night because it’s day time in Hawaii and/ or the other way around. Maybe there could even be some totally implausible snow. Miggy could also both have matching calendars with the days counting down until she can return... Then we could have had 3x02 in England when Magnum and Gordon (and maybe his son) come for a visit. (I may or may not also already ranted about this and how great it could be.)

So yeah, this was a fine random episode and I’d have probably really enjoyed it a lot as one - but because for this I had “season finale expectations” it didn’t really do it for me. I did try to not even think of it like that on my second watch and that actually made it work a lot better.

I it does have stuff going for it; there are no unrelated off-theme subplots to get annoyed by, Rick gets some actual good reason for being in the story, the investigation is fairly tight if in true Magnum fashion rather unbelievable, the word “laptop-ing” is used, a crazy fight on top of a moving truck, the Ferrari for some reason being able to drive in reverse but not normally (is this a thing? that just seemed overly stupid to me but I know nothing about cars.)

Plus we have Higgins saying goodbye to the lads, which is honestly like in my top ten Higgy moments of this season.

Verdict: My mother enjoyed it.

In end we do get our faves looking adorable (I really love Higgy in red)

Look at my babies being all happy

Seriously I kind of almost like this scene better as gifs because they look really-really happy when you just look at them, even if the conversation was somewhat...not what I’d been hoping for. In fact I actually want to talk about the weirdness of it;

Magnum: “So you’re not going?”

Higgins: “Um, you want me to?”

Magnum: “No!”

Why would she ask that? She actually manged to sound like she’s genuinely worried he is unhappy about her staying - when she knows he is the one that set it all in motion. When he’s been working so hard to make sure she gets to stay. This is either terrible writing or brilliant writing because either they forgot Higgy knows Magnum did this for her OR they’re revealing just how important Magnum’s opinions are to her (and how she’s still unsure he really wants her around). I don’t know, maybe I’m reading too much into it but it seems a rather strange thing to ask otherwise.

Now onto the next part of the conversation which is equally baffling.

Magnum: “I’m just... surprised. What did they do?“

I mean I guess he could be suprised if didn’t check in with Robin but wouldn’t he have called Robin to see how things were going on the visa thing? Shouldn’t he be saying “I knew Robin would come through for us you! What he/they do?” because he basically just trusted that Robin would fix it for him.

By just having this conversation go maybe a little different

“So you get to stay?”

“I do.“

(I’d love for her to say I do at some point because of the whole wedding that wasn’t...Maybe we could get a hug here... like come on guys! If there was anything that could have redeemed the whole thing a Miggy hug is pretty high on my list)

Slightly awkward stepping back moment.

“I knew Robin would come through for us you! What he/they do?”

It would just have read a lot better and given us a tad bit more payoff for the visa wedding wackiness that was the past few episodes. Which I’m still not sure why they did that because they sure as heck didn’t use it for maximum drama. I’d almost be able to believe they did randomly go to AO3 and check the popular fics and decided since Marriage of Inconvenience was kinda popular they should do something like that...and then failed utterly to execute it any kind of satisfying way. (I know I know, I’m giving myself way too much credit...)

Still, over all I’m not sure what I feel about this episode. There was nothing super wrong with it but it really wasn’t a finale. Higgins departure/ visa plot turned out to not really mean or change anything. No one but Icepick seemed to have more than like a second of feels during the whole thing. Some stuff just needed more.

So yeah, that’s my thoughts on the matter. I meant for this to be short because I didn’t think I had that much to say about this episode. As it turns out, I kind of sort of did. I guess that’s to be expected as it was the finale! What did you guys think? Love it or hate it? Somewhere in that even more dangerous “whatever zone”?

#magnum PI #magnum x higgins #magnum pi season 2 #magnum pi 2018 #Thomas Magnum #magnum x juliet #magnum x higgy

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jessystardust · 6 years ago

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Margate forever

This is my write-up of my visit to Margate, including Wheels & Fins and meeting Carl. It’s pretty long but I wanna recount all of it. So if you’re sick of hearing about it, feel free to skip! If not, read on... (small trigger warning for mentions of anxiety and depression)

I arrived in Margate at about 14:30 on Saturday the 8th of September, having been travelling for the past fortnight. I wasn’t feeling too great as I arrived, but that mood began to lift as soon as I stepped out of the train station. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a Northern girl or if I’ve just been largely misinformed, but I always thought Margate wasn’t a nice place. Anyway, that is so not true! It’s a lovely, fun, and really quite beautiful seaside town, and I honestly felt taken with it as soon as I arrived.

I walked from the train station to the Smiths Court Hotel, looking out over the beach as I did so, dragging my bursting suitcase and feeling so much better. It was about a twenty minute walk, and before I knew it I was at the hotel, just three hotels down from the Albion Rooms. The Albion Rooms stuck out like a sore thumb nestled in the row of other tall, slim hotels, and as I arrived the finishing touches were being made to the gold paint on the outside of the building. I had a quick glance, then headed to my hotel.

A little while later I met @suchasinistergame and @missoneminute in their hotel room. It’s always a joy to see @suchasinistergame, and it was so exciting to meet @missoneminute for the first time ever. I immediately felt so happy to be there with them, and I had this feeling like something amazing was going to happen, but I almost wouldn’t let myself believe it.

We met up with @getaddictet and Charlie who just generally make my life brighter, and we hung around outside the Albion Rooms for a little while. Nothing was really happening, so we all kind of did our own thing, I spent some time with everyone, and ended up diving headfirst in to a Chinese takeaway at 21:30, before heading to bed. We were all just desperate for the next day to arrive I think.

The next day, aka the best day of my life, started out a bit weird. We had a plan in place and that plan disappeared pretty quickly, haha! I originally wanted to get to the festival when it opened at 12:00, and everyone kind of had different plans, but of course we all ended up outside the Albion Rooms. We saw John, and he’s so lovely. He chatted to everyone and went off to get some food. Then Peter came out, and the atmosphere was so electric, everyone was so excited. He said hi to everyone, and I kind of mumbled hello to him (you know I’m a Carl girl right but... damn, Peter is attractive in real life), and got to see @missoneminute and @suchasinistergame give him presents, which honestly was enough for me, it was a great moment. I also got to meet the lovely @exarcadiaelux around this time too!

Oh, and then he was talking to some other fans, and he took two of them in to the Albion Rooms, because one of them had a Libertines t-shirt on and he apparently had never seen the design before or something? And he wanted to adjust her t-shirt for some reason, so he took them both inside, and about half an hour later she emerged wearing a totally different shirt. So weird, but classic Peter.

Anyway, we finally got to the festival at around 14:30. I got a wrist scarf (which I was unnecessarily excited about) and then we went to the barrier, where we stayed for the next six hours. Totally, definitely, unbelievably worth it. We saw John Power, Mic Righteous, Cabbage, Reverend & the Makers, Echo & the Bunnymen, and then at 20:20 we finally got to see The Libertines. And what a show it was.

I’ll be honest, due to the events that happened afterwards, I feel like the gig was a (wonderful, exciting, amazing) blur. But what I do remember is going fucking crazy and being so, so happy. I just completely let myself go; I screamed out the lyrics, I danced and flailed about because that’s how they make me feel, and it was the best (well... second best) feeling ever.

They were on top form, the gig was just amazing, and the banter and atmosphere was fantastic. There was a wonderful energy. The songs that stick out to me were Heart of the Matter, Gunga Din, and What Became of the Likely Likes. But the final song, I Get Along, absolutely blew me away. I was buzzing, it was the most wonderful experience.

After the gig, I managed to grab a setlist, which was great for me because I’ve never managed to get one before. I was so happy it was for this gig! And then I met the lovely @orchidsonthewindowsill, and we all headed off back to the hotel.

I think @getaddictet and I were the last ones to find out what was happening, but basically, we happened to be staying at the same (beautiful) hotel where the VIP party was. I think our minds actually exploded when we found out. I can’t even put in to words how shocked, excited, anxious, and downright gobsmacked i was. Stuff like this does not happen to me! We agreed to meet everyone downstairs, and we were so excited (and I desperately needed a drink to calm my nerves) that the two of us rushed down as soon as we could. And of course, as we ran down the stairs and arrived at the hotel reception, Carl was stood there, drinking champagne from the bottle.

So basically, I died. I was fucking scared man. But I kept thinking “be cool, be cool”, because this opportunity was too good to give up. I could lie and pretend it wasn't a big deal but it fucking was. So @getaddictet went straight to Carl and talked to him - he recognised her immediately. I’ll let her tell her experience herself though, and I’ll just say what I remember. I was anxious and shy especially because @getaddictet and Carl were already talking. But somehow I found the courage, and I just sort of joined in their conversation, instead of standing there like a loser.

Carl finally looked at me, and said, “oh sorry, hi I’m Carl” and I said “hiya, I’m Jess”. We said how much we had enjoyed the gig, and he said that he had seen us down at the front, and he said he knew we’d been there for ages, and then he said that he really loved to see fans going crazy like we had been because it made them feel encouraged and he liked to see fans having fun. I said something like, “oh my god did you really notice us at the front?” and he said yeah and then he said, “wait, you’re not from down here? Are you from Hull?” and I laughed and said, “No, i’m from Sheffield,” and he said, “Oh right, Sheff!” and he tried to say “sort thissen aht” (”sort yourself out”) which he absolutely couldn’t do hahaha.

I don’t remember what we talked about next but basically there was a bit of a lull in the conversation, and I realised this was my chance to finally say what I had always wanted to say to him. So I kind of put my hand on his arm (happy sigh), and I said it. @getaddictet kindly stepped aside and gave us space to have a bit of a moment.

I said, “I just wanted to tell you that I haven’t been a fan for very long, but you have really, really helped me to change my life around. I was suffering with depression and I was very unhappy and after discovering your music, my life has gotten so much better and I’m so much happier. So thankyou.”

He looked so genuinely touched and he said, “that’s such a nice thing to say, thankyou. And you’re all good now with everything right?” and before I could answer he said, “aw, I know it’s not that simple with these things”, and he leaned in to me, kind of half hugged me and kissed me on the cheek (dead for the second time). I was so overwhelmed and so touched by his reaction. I don’t even remember what I said in response.

I really know that other people have had longer, more in depth encounters with him, but to me this was just... it was everything. He probably doesn’t even remember it because he was pretty drunk and he meets so many fans. It doesn’t matter. The fact is, I got up the courage to speak to him, and to tell him about my depression, and I got a picture with him! I hated it at first cause I look like a gorm but I decided that I love it instead because I look so happy on it. (One of my best friends literally said, “I have never seen you smile like that in twelve years.)

I also managed to grab Jon McClure, lead singer of Sheffield band Reverend and the Makers, and we had a really fun exchange. I said “I’m from Sheffield!” and he gave me a massive hug (he’s like 9ft tall I swear man) and asked if I’m an Owl or a Blade (if I support Sheffield Wednesday or Sheffield United) and was pleased when I said I’m an Owl (I don’t really give a shit but my family are Owls so whatever). I also said that I’m from Hillsborough and that I loved their gig at Tramlines. Jon was lovely and a typical Yorkshire bloke. I asked for a photo, and he said he’d grab me after he went for a fag. True to his word, he found me later and we had a picture together. (Needless to say, most of my friends and family are more impressed about me meeting Jon than meeting Carl haha.)

I had literally only eaten cold chips for the past 24 hours so everyone kindly accompanied me round Margate trying to find a takeaway that was open. We didn’t succeed, but we did see Peter on his swegway gliding past the Albion Rooms, and I was finally drunk enough to say hello to him, but he went back inside pretty quickly and we didn’t talk to him properly.

We got to bed at about 3:30am and I got up at 6:50am to travel back to Sheffield (rock n roll, innit) and when I was stood outside the hotel at 7:30am, I was just getting in to the taxi when I heard someone say “hi”. I turned around and Jack Jones of Trampolene was stood in the doorway, dressed in a lovely blue suit and swigging a can of lager. I was slightly mortified because I looked grotty as fuck with my hair tied back and my bent glasses on, but I was so happy I just called out, “hiya!”. He came over and asked if I was okay. I said I was buzzing and he laughed. He said he was staying at Peter’s for a bit and that he hoped I’d had a great night. I said I was honestly so happy, and it had been the best time ever, and he said that was cute. Then I asked if he remembered me from Sheffield (I went to their gig at the end of April and met Jack there very briefly) and he was like, “Psht, of course! That’s why I said hello” which made me so happy, and he gave me a huge bear hug and wished me a safe journey home.

So that was Margate. Wonderful, exciting, anything-can-happen Margate. To say I’m happy is an understatement. I feel like I have a new lease of life. I was anxious and nervous about all of this and it turned out brilliantly. I know I’ll be smiling for days if not weeks. I get that some people do stuff like this all the time and it’s not a big deal to them, but it meant the world to me.

Big love to @getaddictet @suchasinistergame @missoneminute @exarcadiaelux @orchidsonthewindowsill and Charlie for sharing the experience, what a gang. x

(I also just want to say, in case anyone is offended or really cares, I’ve never been diagnosed with depression or anxiety, but I’ve suffered from both on and off for the past few years. I understand people have had worse experiences than I have but I have struggled in the past.)

#i feel like i forgot something but yeah #the libertines #Carl Barât #Carl barat #trampolene #jack jones #reverend and the makers #jon mcclure #margate #amazing #personal #wheels and fins #wheels and fins festival #tw anxiety #tw depression

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taetae-tea · 7 years ago

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The One (Part I)

Part I --> Part 2

Genre: Hybrid!Taehyung, Fluff, Angst, smut in the future

Paring: TaehyungXreader

Word-count: 2,9K

Warnings: Abuse, unjust, anxiety, forcing, animalistic feelings

Summary: You’ve never liked the idea of hybrids, since it’s straight up abuse from a owner to a hybrid, they aren’t treated like humans. But what happens when your boss gave you a hybrid as a gift?

A/N: HAHA, I might look a bit like a copy cat since others have been writing about hybrid!au related stories, but I’ve actually liked the idea of the genre a lot, so sorry not sorry <3

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‘I get what?’

You stare wide-eyed at the man in front of you, somewhat irritation running through your system. You’re genuinely confused to this request of your boss. It’s not something you'd normally get for the christmas days at work. Regularly, it’s just a box full of food and extra nobody-needs-that things. You've never wanted a christmas box anyways, you never use all the tools and mostly you even give it to the homeless.

‘Come on ___, everyone these days wants one.’ He chuckle, nudging your side as he smirked down at you. You hate that smirk of his, he always want to tease without a good reason. It’s as if he always needed to hamper you, though you let him notice you’re not into his bullshit that day. But at the end, he’s still your boss. You can’t do anything about his tremendous deportment.

‘I don’t need a hybrid in my house, so no thanks.’ You sigh, deciding on turning around, but your boss only called for you to hold there. ‘You don’t have a choice, have a nice christmas ___!’

You scoff, now not hesitant on rushing out of that room. Sometimes you don’t even know why you became a part of this pesky enterprise. It pays well, yeah, but this has a thousand too much problems within. Their problems are mostly on the social-part. It's the way they treat employees, particularly women, who they like to impede. With 'they' , is meant the fewer higher-standing employers. But whatever you might disagree about, it still pays well, over average. And in your position, you could use some money to keep up your own living.

Suddenly your phone began to vibrate in your pocket. When you see the message of a shipping oganisation, knowing it wasn't your doing, you began to internally scream. You can't believe this fucktard of a boss litterally sends you this so-called hybrid to your house, no announcing or anything. You've never wanted a hybrid to even begin with.

It's not that you hate hybrids individually, it's just the matter on 'why' they were made. You know that these hybrids are also human beings, converted to this inhuman rase. Not only do they break nature's law, they also treat hybrids like complete garbage. Most people want them to help with their own lacking desire of affection. It's sad, truly, but the most sad of them all is that the hybrids have no idea. They think it's just the way life goes. Getting raped every single day? No problem, if that’s what you have to do to please your owner. It’s sickening, knowing this sort of extraordinarily abuse exists. Unbelievable.

You race over the highway in your car, making fast work on getting yourself home. You want to send the hybrid back as fast as possible, you don't want to support this kind of mutated human, not when there is too much wrong about it. It's a form of rebelling, indirectly showing your opinion on this. You want them to feel free, to feel loved like other humans. It’s almost as if they have less right than a cat or a dog, though they are human like the rest. If they only would realize that it wasn’t the right way to live your life, they would revolt and you would be a 100% supporter of that

You arrive at your house, immediately noticing a man standing in front of your house, hands folded over one another. He wears a kind smile, like he just delivered a small package, but in reality he just delivered you a whole human being. You can see the well-known uniform of the hybrid-company, called Hy-Tech, disgusting.

’The hybrid is in the back of the truck, should I get hi-.’

‘No, I don’t want ‘him’. It was a present of my workplace, but really I don’t need one. Still thanks though.’ You’d cut him off, walking straight past the shocked-looking guy. You struggle on getting your keys out, wanting to avoid the awkward silence between the unknown person and you.

‘Sorry miss, but we can’t take him back, at least not the same day.’ You can hear his wavering tone, somewhat scared for your reaction. From what he has noticed, you’re rather a spicy girl. And he is right, because you almost want to smack your keys to his head when those words left his mouth. Still, you try to keep yourself calm and steady, turning around with all the continence you have left in your bones.

‘When can I return him?’

‘Two weeks is the minimum. Mostly it’s used to see if the owner likes the hybrid, if not, it will be exchanged for a better one-.’ He almost drifts off ‘But, you can also just wait and then return him.’

You let out a deep sigh, lifting up you hand to massage your head for a small second to think. It’s not like there’s a lot to think about, you don’t have any choice. Two weeks isn’t long, so it’s somewhat doable. It’s just, you’re furious about the cause, your boss. Couldn’t he at least tell you? Ask you?

‘Okay… I guess I don’t have a choice.’ You sigh, nodded for the guy to get the hybrid, the poor thing. The guy smiles genuinely, probably just happy he didn’t had to disappoint his boss with an unhappy customer. He walks up to the back of his truck, opening it and smiling at the hybrid inside. He nudges his to get out, encouraging. You let out another sigh, again feeling a drill of irritation flowing through your body. Now you think about it, your boss must think that you’re some lonely loser who needs a fucking hybrid to fulfill your needs or something. What kind of creepy thoughts does this guy even have about you?

Then the hybrid finally steps out of the truck, looking around to take in his surroundings. You cock your head to the side as the hybrid and the man approaches you. He is… beautiful. It’s no doubt, his eyes, hair, body, lips, nose, you could go on and on. But then again, they must be made to be beautiful. thereby, they are here to please you, also your eyes.

‘Hi…’ He says shyly, looking away from you. You have to admit, he is really cute and you nod your head in return at him to greet him. You analyze his hybrid features, vastly noticing it’s some kind of cat, probably a lion or something, since his ears are yellow and so is his tail. His tail also has a little fluffy hair bundle at the tip. He wears a big sweater with black tight jeans, casually clothed, making him more adorable for his owner. Pathetic.

’So, there isn’t much you need to know about hybrids since you will be returning him again.’ The ears of the hybrid sprang up as he wears a really sad expression by hearing the words of the man, your heart sinking immediately. He must be very sad that you don’t want him, as if he is just a object, as if he’s lacking. How could this bastard say that in front of the hybrid himself? Like he isn’t part of the conversation. Fucking hell, this gets you so damn mad. You clench your jaw as you kept your eyes on the guy, having a stern glare.

‘He needs to eat and drink like any other human. He also needs some medicine for his heat, which he gets next week. Unless you’s want him to-.’

‘No.’ You cut him off again, not at all feeling the need to want any sexual things from this hybrid. You can take care of your sexual frustrations yourself, which is clubbing.

‘Well, then you need these pills.’ He gave you a small bag, white pills piled on one another. ‘He needs it once a day.’ You nod as you put the bag in your jacket pocket. ‘That was it I guess, you can call me any time you need me.’ ‘There will be no need.’ You answer, now turning around and signaling for the hybrid to go with you, sighing a soft ‘for fucks sake’ under your breath.

Once the both of you were inside, warmth embracing your bodies, you pull off your jacket and shoes and the hybrid did the same as he just copied your doings. Then a question suddenly shot through your head.

‘Fuck, what’s your name?’

His eyes shot up at you with confusion written all over his face. He shrugs, literally not knowing his name. ‘I don’t have a name yet, you need to give me one.’ He says. Anger again began to boil within you. How can’t he even have his own name? Everyone has a name, it’s not possible for him not to know his own name at this point.

‘Didn’t they give you a name, ever?’ You say, now slightly interested in his background story. You’d like to know how his past life went, if he got treated well. You can’t imagine him, this sweet angel with a boxy smile, being abused, tossed around like a no one.

’They called me kitty, you can call me that too if you want.’ He says, giving you a small smile before focussing his gaze on the ground again. Then you noticed, as he looks at the ground, he is just having a straight face. As if he isn’t allowed to look at you? You run your hand through your hand, calming yourself.

‘No.’

He frowns, now giving you little glances up at you, but quickly looked back down at the floor. He is confused, why are you reacting like this? His past owners always were overjoyed and immediately wanted to use him for many different things. But he could sense you didn’t want any of it, you were different. You also gave him some kind of dominant vibes, so maybe you were just immense strict towards him, maybe wanting him on his knees to beg you? What do you want?

‘Look up at me, never look down ever again.’

He obeys, looking up at your eyes, still confused. You take his hand, carefully taking him to the couch and sitting him down. You’re mad, but still, you can’t blame him. You need to be careful with him, show him what real love is so he might want to escape and never return from this world. Maybe you can change his few on this world.

’Do you have a particular name you like a lot?’

‘Taehyung... I like that name… a lot.’ He almost looks scared to speak his own mind. He hesitates in his sentences a lot. He can’t even have his own opinion, fucking bullshit. It’s all bullshit, if you’d ask. How much you’d like to go back in time to where the hybrids got invented and just ruin it all, destroying all their new-found inventions.

‘Okay Taehyung, I’m ___, we’re going to make a few things straight in this house.’

He nods, a bit confused to why you would name him his preferred name, are you just being nice so he would have to pay it back later in bed? Is this some test? To show you that he is a great pet? Because you already wanted to throw him out the moment he walked up to you and you hadn’t even looked at him yet. But the way you’re treating him made him confused. you disliked him so much in the first place, what got your mind to change like that?

‘First, you can go out whenever you want, I don’t mind, just don’t go too far because you will lose track on your path. Secondly, you may eat whatever you’d like, just look in the kitchen if you want anything and you can grab it, just don’t eat my whole fridge away. Thirdly, you can be casually with me. Fourthly, I don’t want anything from you, with that I mean your body. You can be free here.’

Your four simple ways around your house got his head dizzy. He never has been treated this way and he couldn’t really find a reason to why you would be different. Of course, he isn’t complaining, he just can’t stop thinking that’s it’s a trick and you will be throwing him out any minute now. It’s his biggest fear as a hybrid, being left alone and back in his own cell again, waiting for the next owner. To him, a home is way better than the cells the hybrids have to live in while they are in the between-owners period. It gets him chills, thinking back to those cells.

‘O-Okay…’

You smile at him, hand reaching up to pet his ears, which hadn’t stopped twitching with confusion, but now eased down as you kept petting him. The feeling isn’t foreign to him, but it still has been a long time since he has been petted, and to your information, he loves it. So it wasn’t a surprise that he purr immediately formed, head leaning into your hand, eyes still wide open as he didn’t yet dare to relax with you. What is he makes the wrong move? Will you punish him?

‘Relax, I won’t hurt you.’ You try to assure him and he eventually does, closing his eyes and head laying down on your lap, loud purr heard. This place suddenly felt like heaven to him, as if he has finally find his destination, a good owner. He can’t stop admiring you all of a sudden, loving your smell, the way your hands slide over his ears as you turn on the television. You don’t mind him having on your lap, it’s adorable and you see how much he needs this. He obviously never really had the chance to relax, so you wouldn’t mind showing him how life also could be. Thereby, you’re extremely tired and you just want to relax, you will deal with your new accompany the next day.

He turns around to face you on your lap, arms making their way around your waist as he couldn’t help himself anymore, affection drilling through his body by your touch. It’s so overwhelming, feeling so satisfied after many years of being a ‘slave’. He just wants to keep being in your arms, resting his head on your lap.

‘Aren’t you cold?’ You say as you feel a slight breeze in your apartment, thinking that he might be cold from it. You know that cats like warmth, since you had a cat when you were younger and still lived at home, so maybe lions do too. He shakes his head no, but you didn’t take his response as an answer, still standing up and getting a thick blanket for the both of you to lay under. When you came back and laid the blanket over his body, you notice his big boxy smile, purr as loud as always. You sit down next from him as you took the blanket over your body too, nudging him to come closer to you and so he does. He lays his body close against you, arms again around your waist as he watches along with the series you had zapped to.

‘___, are you testing me?’ He suddenly asks and you just shake your head, hand coming up to pet his hair slightly, reassuring that everything is okay and that he can relax for the upcoming 2 weeks, because you’re still not planning on keeping him. But maybe, just maybe, you will let him stay? He thought. If he’s just really good to you, you might reconsider your choice?

‘Just relax tonight, Taehyung. Nothing will happen, I won’t ever play with you like that, I’m not like that.’ You sigh, hand returning to your own lap. He feels relieved. You’re so different from most people and he just can’t wait for you to open up more to him, showing your real nature to him. Because, as he feels your skin on his, he feels something strange. Something he never felt before and he didn’t know it was just affection or something stronger than that, talking about his mate. Mating is still something very big in this system of hybrids, since it’s a big turn on for the humans, wanting to be mated with a hybrid. It’s fucked up, yeah, but humans like it, getting owned by something with a big animalistic drive. Like with heaths, humans enjoy those the most out of everything.

‘Never leave me.’ He mutters, genuinely meaning the words and making your heart break. You can’t, you don’t want to. You’ve always been against it. Always. You can’t just take a turn on your opinion because of him… But still, he seems to have this effect on you when he lays close to you, it somewhat gets you dizzy. Maybe it’s just the effect a hybrid has on its owners. Whatever it is, it makes you want to be closer to him, cuddle up to him and hold him. You try to fight back as much as possible and that eventually works. You’re not that weak, you know how to stop. But others don’t. What if he goes back, to that centre and then eventually to another horrible owner? You can’t let him go back there, not knowing that he will go somewhere terrible.

It has only been the first hour and you feel as if you’ve fallen into a deep ravine. Boy oh boy, this is going to be a whole new adventure.

A/N: I hope y'all liked it!

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filmista · 7 years ago

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80′s favorite: ‘The Breakfast Club’ (1985)

“… And these children that you spit on as they try to change their worlds are immune to your consultations. They’re quite aware of what they’re going through…” - David Bowie

Ah, the 80’s! An era of some awesome music (totally irrelevant but in case anyone wondered my ultimate 80’s guilty pleasure song is ‘The Final Countdown’, also anything 80’s Madonna. Confession actually I just plain love Madonna, there secret’s out! Although these days her on stage acrobatics, are starting to slightly unsettle me) And crimes against fashion and excellent teen films.

Teen films were such a popular genre at the time that they almost could have been regarded as an industry within the film industry. And the driving force and brain of it was arguably John Hughes, (‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’,‘ Pretty in Pink’, ‘Sixteen Candles’ etc).

Hughes made multiple successful films in the 80’s but the most famous and the one that’s to this day still the most beloved for its timeless and universal relevance is ‘The Breakfast Club’.

These days despite the fact that I’m now quite past the age it’s characters were it’s one of those films that’s always a blast to watch, time quite literally flies, and there’s always the temptation to simply restart the film.

Not to sound dramatic and all, but sometimes I wish I had seen it during some of the more difficult times I had in high school, it might have brought some comfort, there’s a comfort in knowing: other people are unhappy too and they too sometimes occasionally have pretended they aren’t.

Despite the fact that the film is not without its flaws, I love almost everything about it. From the David Bowie quote at the beginning ( which I still consider as deep and as relevant, I think it’s so unbelievably powerful):

“… And these children  that you spit on  as they try to change their worlds  are immune to your consultations. They’re quite aware  of what they’re going through…”

To the Simple Mind’s ‘Don’t You forget about me’ playing in the ending scene as bad boy Bender raises his fist towards the sky. Even the switching between absurd or utterly brilliant dialogues, this is still one of my favorite dialogues in any film:

Vernon: What did you want to be when you were young?

Carl: When I was a kid, I wanted to be John Lennon. 

Vernon: Carl, don’t be a goof. I’m trying to make a serious point here. I’ve been teaching, for twenty-two years, and each year, these kids get more and more arrogant. 

Carl: Aw bullshit, man. Come on Vern, the kids haven’t changed, you have! You took a teaching position, ‘cause you thought it’d be fun, right? Thought you could have summer vacations off and then you found out it actually worked and that really bummed you out. 

Vernon: These kids turned on me. They think I’m a big fuckin’ joke.

 Carl: Come on…listen, Vern, if you were sixteen, what would you think of you, huh? 

Vernon: Hey, Carl, you think I give one rat’s ass what these kids think of me? 

Carl: Yes, I do.

 Vernon: You think about this…when you get old, these kids; when I get old, they’re gonna be runnin’ the country. 

Carl: Yeah? 

Vernon: Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night; that when I get older, these kids are gonna take care of me. Carl: I wouldn’t count on it.

This particular dialogue shows something very simple, yet often overlooked fact: some adults simply forget what it’s like to be in a teenager’s shoes, and therefore have forgotten all the angst and difficult times, they can’t empathize anymore.

The teenager in question feels misunderstood, and it’s likely to gather two responses, either they rebel and lash out, or they withdraw even more into their own world, and so the vicious circle of miscommunication between adults and young people is strengthened.

But to return to mentioning everything that I love about the film, I also love everybody’s cliche clothing style (Claire Standish, made me discover the frilly feminine with leather and boots look, which was a total phase I went through for a while) detention rarely looked that stylish and fun.

Honestly, this film made me wish we had detention in my high school here in Europe too, but I was always slightly too well behaved to have even landed myself there in the first place.

Twice in my high school career, I’ve had to stand in the hallway, for not so serious misdeeds, let’s say that my sometimes somewhat big mouth got me in trouble, both times haunted me for an entire afternoon…

Still ‘The Breakfast Club’ was for me one of those films that I knew a lot of people love but that had to grow on me a little, there was a straightforwardness, such a collection of bizarre situations and such a plethora of cliches, that the first time I couldn’t get over them as more flaws.

Of course it’s now safe to say that the first time I saw the film I criminally misunderstood it, as it’s all about using cliché characterization to make a statement: “we’re all different, but we’re not all so different after all” all of us share fears and anxieties of some kind. I don’t blindly love the film it’s got a fair share of flaws and stuff that I simply don’t like about it.

But I can completely overlook these now, it’s one of those films that you just have to let wash over you.

It has as I mentioned quite the lack of subtlety and cohesion at times, it throws logic out the old for its own benefit, (the disappearing principal, the effects of the joint that wear off almost immediately after smoking it?!)

It’s just an at times plain lack of realism, that if you got too cynical and allowed it could ruin your whole viewing of the film. ‘Breakfast Club’ is deceptively simple and straightforward, and it’s in this that it is so smart, it shows things as it is, it shows what’s under the surface of the psyche of plenty a teen.

It solves everything for us, you don’t have to pull back any layers with any of its characters, you don’t gradually discover what’s wrong with each, they literally all fairly early on start shoving their problems in our face, quite literally throw them out there. And that during my first few viewings of the film bothered me to no end; it seemed to me like an easy way to go and one that’s not daring in the least, because you don’t have to think deeply about it.

As time went on I came to see that as part of the film’s charm. ‘Breakfast Club’ can literally be as deep as you want it to be, depending on what mood you happen to be in that day.

It can be a film that you watch just for fun, and just because you happen to like its humour and its atmosphere, or it could be a film that sets you to thinking about deep stuff such as the societal norm and our self-awareness, how we perceive ourselves VS the performance some of us put up each day toward the outside world.

The beauty of the film is that it can be any of those things anytime you want; which is why I find that each viewing of the film can be an entirely different one.

And what initially bothered me about it I now see as endearing and pretty smart. The plot can basically be resumed as this: Wildly different people that don’t particularly like each other are forced to spend a day together.

They slowly discover that each of them is as human, as unique and as flawed as they, every person has a world of their own in their mind.

Underneath the stereotype each of them hides behind, they realize each of them has problems, emotions, and feelings. That each is far more complex than any definition that can oh so easily be put on a person.

Now I don’t know what they do in detention in America, if you do your homework, or if you’re punished by not being allowed to study.

But in ‘The Breakfast Club’ it’s an entire day of free therapy. It shows a simple yet even nowadays very often overlooked fact, life would be a lot easier and pleasant to navigate, if we from time to time could all just sit our butts down and talk to each other (I fervently believe in this).

Exchanging a “how are you” that could instead of being answered with “fine” while your world is going to shit be answered with a genuine “listen, not good at all” and here’s why.

That’s what I’ve always found redeeming about the film despite some of its flaws, the fact that it humanizes characters that are to this day in a lot of American films, just grossly stereotyped. In some of these films, it’s like they all walked out of the same clone machine, disturbing…

‘Breakfast Club’ states that our interests do perhaps define us to some degree; and that we all fit a certain type (I guess I’m the sleazy European, just joking). All of us are either “the film geek” “the film snob”, “the comic geek” or the guy who’s got a permanent residence at the gym and that it’s ok, because each of is an individual, we are not our interests, not entirely at least.

All this is what I’ve come to see in the film over the years, but it took me as I said a while to get there. But while it was a film that I saw many problems with, it was simply one of those films that for whatever reason sucked me in again and again. Simple because the film had something, it’s a something that to this day I still can’t exactly point out, it’s a unique quality in its atmosphere, that pulls you in so much that you forget your surroundings and feel as though you are in that classroom.

I think that something is the relatability of a rainy Saturday, you get up in the morning, and the whole day is still stretched out before you, the day is still rife with possibility. And even if it’s a rainy bleak day and even if that day is going to be spent indoors, it still lends itself towards almost anything.

It’s that same magical feeling you have as a kid during Summer holiday, The Breakfast Club for me has that same quality: no matter how bizarre, how unlikely it is possible in this film.

Or maybe it’s the dialogues that become absurd on occasion, and that doesn’t always feel like the way a 16 or 17 year would talk.

But that is actually delightful in their sometimes sheer absurdity, my absolute favorite line is probably: “Does Barry Manilow know you steal his clothes?” absolutely delightful…

And yet even if they at times get very absurd, there’s sometimes also just an absurdity to life, people do have hilarious conversations that make no sense to an outsider.

‘The Breakfast Club’ actually does a pretty good job of capturing that sheer funnies of life. It’s a laugh at your own misery in the company of others, sorta humor, sometimes sharing your fears with others and laughing about them, is all that it takes to see clearly and no longer be afraid, or at least less.

It’s like when you’ve been having a shit day, let’s say that a pigeon shat on your head or your shoulder, it’s not gonna be funny at the time, but more of than not you end up being able to laugh about it, after you’ve taken a good long shower and you’ve had a nice hot meal.

Initially like I’ve mentioned my biggest problem with the film was the illogicalness of the plot at times, like how the principal so conveniently disappears so that the kids can bond, it would have been more realistic had he given them more grief…

Or how as I said when they smoke a joint; the effects wear off when it’s convenient for the plot. The film does whatever the fuck it wants when it wants. Even if it becomes a bit unreal, surrealists even.

A character jumps over bookcases like he’s in the gym. But hey it was the 80’s, maybe Jane Fonda did that in her spare time “don’t worry honey, just gettin’ some exercise… But now I find that there’s a beauty to it just doing whatever it wants when it wants. It gives a sort of authentic, good-hearted charm.

A charm that some films that make sense at all times don’t always have, they’re almost too perfect at times.

But that’s the thing about ‘The Breakfast Club’ it makes sense while it’s not making sense. The director really used these so-called flaws or things that don’t make sense at the service of his plot, some call this lazy filmmaking but in this case, it works out. As I’ve been mentioning a few times throughout, the film isn’t without it’s flawed to this day Ally Sheedy’s transformation from weird artsy ugly duckling to a beautiful angel, bugs me.

I mean yeah the girl had bad hygiene and all but such a drastic shift in style wasn’t necessary either, a new haircut and just washing it occasionally might have helped.

And there are a few other things, but the ‘The Breakfast Club’s is just in the end one of those films that simply charms me and I forgive it’s flaws, because as cheesy as it sounds (give me a toilet to lean over) it’s got a nice message at its heart.

Acting wise I’ve heard a lot about the film over the years about the quality of the acting, I’ve heard people call it bad and some people say that all of the actors had never been better than they were in this film.

And that’s maybe to some degree true. Molly Ringwald was the director’s darling and did multiple projects alongside Hughes, but not much was heard of Ringwald after the 80’s, apparently, she does mainly Broadway now. It pleases me to know that she’s doing something still in line with acting.

What is an absolute fact is that pretty much all of the actors had their New York minute of fame in the 80’s and I suppose nowadays they’re in some kind of acting wasteland, or you only see them in really bad soaps and films that play at unholy hours, until late at night?

But I’ve personally always thought that even if the acting in it, isn’t entirely without flaws either, it swindles in quality on occasion.

I’ve always loved it, I love every single character and every performance. Though I’ve got my favorites, my favorite character is “the princess”, Claire Standish. I don’t see Molly Ringwald when I see her here but Claire, she’s just perfectly in character the entire times and is natural and convincing throughout.

She’ll always be one of my favorite popular, mean girls, she’s seemingly a spoiled brat that’s actually a sweetheart. the original “poor little rich girl” her parents give her everything, and yet the perfect picture is tainted.

Even she misses something and that’s real contact with her parents, real affection, after all, what good is a pair of diamond earrings when you can’t have a good talk. I love the chemistry between Ringwald and Nelson, there’s a very natural, very authentic feeling chemistry (I was much dismayed when I found out a long kiss between the two was taken out).

Visually ‘The Breakfast Club’ couldn’t be more 80’s everything ranging from the excellent music (gotta love The Simple Minds) to the so highly coiffed hair that it looks like it could catch fire, upon entering into contact with a flame, and the clothes scream the 80's…

Yet ‘The Breakfast Club’ unlike some films of the same time, some also made by the same man. Has a much calmer and tranquil atmosphere, as it does primarily focus on the conversations between the characters.

A lot of ‘The Breakfast Club’ is actually hilarious close-ups of faces and the expressions on them as they react to something. It’s something I like very much as it makes you feel less detached as a viewer, it creates a real intimacy between the characters and the audience, you feel transported into the room.

‘The Breakfast Club’ is a true 80’s classic, that has stayed contemporary. Every once in a while it still makes appearances on both European and American channels.

As I said the unique thing about it is that you can take it as seriously as you wish, it can become philosophical if you warm and it can be good fun, if nothing else.

If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend doing so in hideous, flashy 80’s sportswear, usually to be found in an attic of an elderly family member, that keeps everything under the universal: “It’ll come back in fashion again” Adagio.

“Saturday, March 24, 1984. Shermer High School, Shermer, Illinois, 60062. Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did was wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write an essay telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. Correct? That's the way we saw each other at 7:00 this morning. We were brainwashed.”

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taegijae-blog · 7 years ago

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BREAKFAST DELIVERY 12

pairing: 2jae

genre: fluff, if you squint there’s angst

word count: 3k

description: the school’s hottest boy im jaebum wants to get a certain boy’s number. but the first problem is: he’s unhappy and not eating.

status: completed

note: this was originally posted on wakaba’s wattpad @/jaeholics

| part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 |

"Youngjae..." Jaebum had carried the freezing and shocked Youngjae over to a sunny spot behind the gym, a place where teachers usually never visit. Youngjae's eyes seemed sleepy as he shivered, Jaebum locking his arms around his body to preserve warmth. Both of their backpacks were also there. After Jaebum had burst out of classroom without saying anything to his teacher, he had found Youngjae's backpack thrown in the hallway. Carrying both of them, he’d run straight to the pool. That was his story up to the point where he found Youngjae being pulled dangerously close to the diving pool, and where his anger rose up to impossible levels. At least he was okay now. "Hyung..." Youngjae called out softly, coughing a few times. "You were the one who saved me, weren't you...?" Jaebum nodded. He brought Youngjae closer, leaning against one of the warehouses for sports equipment. "Yeah." Something made Jaebum's eyes blink, glistening ever so brightly. It was Youngjae's smiling face, staring up at the elder. "Thank you. Thank you so much." Shocked frozen for a second, Jaebum eventually returned a smile for the other in his arms. "No problem, Youngjae." He leaned down to nuzzle his face into the other's neck, breathing softly. "I'm sorry for yelling at you and slapping you. I really am," Youngjae said out of nowhere, sighing as he exclaimed so. He shifted his body so that he'd be even closer to Jaebum, feeling the comforting warmth of him. "I was just so... confused. I was scared at myself for being so mad that I guess I...tried to avoid you for a bit." "Mhm," Jaebum murmured, sighing into the soft and slightly wet skin. "I understand. I knew I should've told you earlier, but I was too dense to realize what it was doing to you." "It's okay." Youngjae was staring blankly at the scenery in front of them: cement, tall wire fences, and a few trees. "It really is alright. I've come to realize that I love the person called Def Soul' and that you are Def Soul. and how, by that logic, I love you." Youngjae peered up in order to look at Jaebum. "Jaebummie-hyung. It's always been you, hasn't it?" Although Jaebum was speechless for a second or two, he started to laugh softly. He loved this kid called Choi Youngjae. "I guess so." Jaebum reached over for his backpack and unzipped it, taking out something. "What's that?" Jaebum grinned to himself as he took out the small bag of homemade cookies. He opened it, taking one of the treats out and holding it between two fingers. "Have you eaten breakfast? Did you bring a lunch? If not..." Jaebum said in a singsong tone, pouting his lips in a rather cute way. "...Think about me, and then... eat." He stuffed the cookie into Youngjae's mouth. Chewing on it, the other giggled softly. "Thanks," he said as crumbs fell from his lips. "Hey," he whistled quietly. "Did you know that I used to be called fat constantly by these girls?" Jaebum's happy expression immediately dropped to a frown. "What? Who?" "I don't know." For some reason, the smile on Youngjae's face never faded away. "They just did for fun, I guess. They would come up to me during lunch especially and just whisper 'hey fatso.' So I thought about it a lot and decided that maybe I am fat. I didn't like how they would pick on me so I looked up how to lose weight. My naïve self ended up believing that skipping lunch and breakfast would be the best way to lose weight." Youngjae's chest rose high up and back down, which was something Jaebum's arms felt. "I was pretty unhappy and hungry, but I still kept doing it. My friends nagged me to eat. I wouldn't listen to them, though. So this is the strange part, right? Every piece of food you gave me, I would eat it happily and completely forget about starving myself. I totally forgot about trying to lose weight and whatnot. Which is weird, isn't it? Because I had no idea who you were, but you were still able to persuade me." "You literally cured this bad side of me, I think. You really are an amazing person, hyung," Youngjae finished with a big, wide smile and pat Jaebum, who was on the verge of tears, on the arm. "God... Youngjae...I'm so in love with you," he muttered to himself, shaking his head. "Are you still cold?" "Nope," Youngjae replied cheerfully, taking the piece of clothing from his torso and handing it back to the other. He went over to where his backpack was and hung it over his shoulder, throwing the other bag to Jaebum. "Do you want to go back to class?" "Not one bit," Jaebum laughed as he said so, also standing on his feet and carrying his backpack. He stood beside Youngjae, crossing his arms. "You should get a new change of clothes or you'll catch a cold." "Hm... yeah..." Peering down at his wet shirt and fanning it, he pursed his lips. "I don't have spare clothes, though." "You do at home." Youngjae grinned. He took ahold of Jaebum's hand, weaving their fingers together. "Come with me." "To ditch school?" "Yeah." The two started taking the back route of the school, planning to leave through the back gates. The gates were locked, they found, but Jaebum was able to help Youngjae jump over them. In Youngjae's free hand was the bag of cookies he received. He had all intentions to finish them once he was back at warm home. Before they took any more steps, Youngjae gave a gentle kiss to Jaebum's lips. He was unbelievably happy; it was like the times he yelled at him and cried because of him had never even happened. After all, those things only happened because of Youngjae's confused, naïve heart. Without the worry of being fat or not clouding his vision, he could clearly see that Jaebum was someone he loved. The only person who even when he was down; someone who would take care of him like he was born to do so. It was always the person he knew as Im Jaebum. Def Soul' was just Jaebum with a pair of sunglasses as a mask. That anonymous food donator and note writer was Jaebum too. He had all sorts of identities that Youngjae misunderstood, but he knew now that they all made up to be the same genuinely kind, benevolent person. "Let's go."

During his first period class, Jaebum's eyes wouldn't look away from his backpack that held a bag of homemade cookies. Would Youngjae still be willing to accept his food? Even after knowing who was behind all of it? He did know that Youngjae continued to not bring himself a lunch to school. Occasionally, he'd something light like a bag of chips (the kind that is 80% air) but that was basically it. He really thought it was amazing how Youngjae was able to control his hunger like that, especially in a cafeteria where a hundred or so students were eating happily. Jaebum felt frustrated at how little he knew about the junior. There were so many things he wanted to know so that he could take better care of Youngjae. What's his favorite food? Drink? What's his ideal type? He slammed his head onto his desk. This wasn't the first time he'd done so, and the teacher didn't bother to look back that time. "I've told you this before, Mr. Im, but please don't break your desk while venting your frustrations." Jaebum played around with his eraser, feeling bored. He was thinking about texting Youngjae before realizing that he had a low chance of getting a reply. what are you doing right now, youngjae? in class? of course you are. right. i want to talk to you. 🍽 Youngjae left his classroom early because of a stomachache. He kept thinking about how odd it was for him to even have a stomachache in general when he'd been doing his best to eat as less as possible. The only thing he’d eaten that morning was a slice of bread accompanied by a cup of water. All he knew was that the stomachache was painful. He couldn't walk very many steps before needing to clutch his belly, crouching over slightly. On one arm was his backpack, hanging by its straps. He’d tried mounting it on his shoulders but it quickly fell, since it actually made his stomach feel even worse. His brows were wrinkled as he stumbled down the hallway, searching for the infirmary. "What's this?" Youngjae's face was drained of its color when he realized that voice was familiar. He remembered it clearly: the voice that had spat at him while he was kicked by its owner. His head hung low as he pretended to not hear, making sure his face wouldn't be shown to the guy. Unfortunately for him, that just made things worse because he couldn't see properly and bumped straight into the voice. Goosebumps spread across his arms when he heard the displeased growl coming from the taller person. "Are you blind? Watch where you're fucking going!" Although Youngjae was scared, he was sure to keep his head down to cover his face. His stomach crippled him with pain but he had to deal with it, just for a bit longer. A horrible sense of doom overwhelmed him, though, when the other grabbed his collar and pulled him up. "That's hilarious. You're that little wimp I beat up before. Looks like you haven't learned your lesson at all, have you?" he scoffed, now grabbing Youngjae's chocolatey hair and tugging him to somewhere. "S-stop, please," Youngjae pleaded. Those were meaningless attempts as the guy only tugged on his hair harder, making him whine in pain. As if his stomachache wasn't enough, now he was dealing with this. In the process, he was forced to drop his backpack and it was left alone in the hallway. He was in far too much pain to even struggle and fight against him. Just as he was about to scream for help, the guy noticed and covered his mouth tightly with his hand. Youngjae really was frightened. His shaking hand reached into his pockets. Thankfully, his phone was in there. Youngjae double checked to see that the guy wasn't looking and, with his quivering fingers, he opened his text messages. He was afraid that his phone would be slapped away when noticed so he opened the first chat. jaybee [c.youngjae]: hyunh [c.youngjae]: hyungg [c.youngjae]: pleesas;; [c.youngjae]: heelp nme theres a; guyy [c.youngjae]: hes dragfing me to somewhere an I cant get away from him [c.youngjae]: help me [c.youngjae]: imm so scared

[jaybee]: tell me exactly where the fuck he's taking you [c.youngjae]: i,,i don't know [c.youngjae]: its,its outdoors [c.youngjae]: tthe field [c.youngjae]: pool [jaybee]: i'm heading there right now [jaybee]: youngjae fight back no matter what he does [jaybee]: youngjae [jaybee]: youngjae?? [jaybee]: i'm running [jaybee]: i'm on my way [jaybee]: oh my god [jaybee]: please be okay By that time, Youngjae had hidden his phone. The guy had dragged him all the way to the outdoor field and was approaching the swimming pool, where no teachers or students lingered at the time. The other grabbed him with both hands and flung him over the little fence surrounding the pool. Youngjae landed on the cement, a few scratches on his arm starting to bleed. He was holding back everything to not bawl in fear. The guy hopped over the fence, staring down at him in anger. "No one ever bumps into me twice. This'll help you learn, faggot," he spat, now pulling the collapsed Youngjae by the hood of his jacket. He was partially choking while being dragged across the cement against his will. The minuscule amount of oxygen he could breathe in wasn't the biggest problem he had at the moment. He could tell that he was being dragged over to the diving pool, measuring staggering meters deep. Youngjae's body locked up and was essentially frozen in fear. He couldn't swim. "Come on, cunt. swim for me." Youngjae was brought so close to the edge of the pool that his shoe grazed against some water. He couldn't do anything except make gasping noises and have his heart beat at unnatural rates. Was this the day he'd die? The metal fence made sudden rattling noises as footsteps stomped furiously to where the two were on the pool deck. Youngjae's eyes were squinting due to difficulty breathing, but he could sort of make out who the person was. "Hyu... ng..." he whispered, his voice raspy. Jaebum ran up to the guy dragging Youngjae and punched him without saying anything. "Get your fucking hands off of him or I'll beat the shit out of you!" he yelled in absolute fury. The other was equally angered and snarled, but only got another punch to his chest. He fell onto the ground in pain, but not before pushing Youngjae into the pool. Jaebum's heart stopped beating when watching him sink deeper into the water. "Youngjae!" he shouted, diving in after the boy, who was silently sinking deeper motionlessly. Jaebum grabbed Youngjae's shirt and pulled him towards him, wrapping an arm around him securely. He swam towards the ladder as quickly as he could, madly calling the other’s name. "Youngjae, Youngjae, Youngjae, oh my god..." Jaebum muttered shakily as he finally pulled him out of the water, still holding him tightly in his arms. Youngjae was unresponsive, his head drooping down with every attempt Jaebum made to wake him up. Jaebum's eyes were suddenly filled with even more rage than ever. he looked around to see where the guy who did this was. By that time, that guy already ran away, knowing that he'd get in major trouble. He'll never forgive that piece of shit for as long as he lives. The coughing sounds coming from Jaebum's arms caused him to quickly peer down. Thank God Youngjae was awake. He coughed up some water, suddenly beginning to shiver. "H-hyung..." he murmured weakly, barely peeking his eyes open. Jaebum's grip only tightened, concerned when feeling exactly how much the other was shivering. "Cold...cold..." "It'll be okay, Youngjae, you're going to okay," Jaebum reassured in a panicked voice as he took off his own hoodie and wrapped it around Youngjae's body. It was true that his skin felt almost ice cold, and that scared the elder. His eyes weakly opened, squinting at the one staring down at him. "Hyung...?" "Y-yeah. It's me, Jaebum." Youngjae wrapped his arms around the other's broader torso and stuffed his face into his chest. he was sobbing silently, his legs curling up unconfidently as he did so. Jaebum embraced him as though that the last time he would ever touch Youngjae, rubbing his back. "Iwas so scared...I can't swim...deep water..." "I get it, Youngjae, you don't have to say anything." Jaebum cooed as soothingly as he could, although that was difficult because he was freaking out too. Youngjae's shoulders quivered as he sniffed. "I'm so glad that you're here... Jaebum-hyung..."

#breakfast delivery #wakaba #2jae #2jae fluff #youngjae #jaebum #jaebum fluff #youngjae fluff #got7 #got7 fluff #yugyeom #kim yugyeom #jackson wang #bambam #jinyoung #park jinyoung #mark tuan

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topweeklyupdate · 7 years ago

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TØP Weekly Update #43: The End (For Now, My Dudes) (7/2/17)

Nothing really ends.

This Week’s TØPics:

Schott Recap

Rock Sound 50 Interview

BLIND SPECULATION About the Next Era

And More (Tears, Mostly)

Major News and Announcements:

Only one piece of major news this week: they’re done. After over two years, well over two hundred shows, a butt-ton of awards, and countless moments of fun and joy, Twenty One Pilots has finished the album cycle that began in April 2015 with the announcement of an album called Blurryface. Tyler Joseph and Josh Dun worked their butts off for us. We’ll get into the nitty-gritty of how the era wrapped in the recap section and look to the future in BLIND SPECULATION, but first, let’s just appreciate the fact that they did it.

With this album and the years of work that led up to it, Tyler and Josh became some of the biggest figures in music, generated no less than three smash singles, and took off their pants on national television. Most importantly, their increased visibility has introduced their music about anxiety, depression, and emotional honesty to a lot of people, some of whom have seen their lives changed for the better by the comfort and community that music brings. They’ve changed the world, without question.

Performances, Interviews, and Other Shenanigans:

It’s hard to believe that it’s been barely a week since the last show of the Blurryface Era. It feels like it was both years and mere hours ago. Highlights from the last show at the Schott:

Before the show even started, Mark and Brad were causing drama in the Clique. Mark created a very official-looking fake setlist that included an assortment of fan favorites melded very seamlessly into the existing line-up and slipped it into the background of several of the pair’s pre-show Snapchats. I think they both learned their lesson about the risks of waving Taxi Cab under the Clique’s nose.

Though the fake setlist didn’t make it to the stage, there were a few nifty alterations. My favorite: for the first time since Belsonic Fest way back in August 2015, the band performed “No Woman, No Cry” for the lead-in to “Ride”, this time with the assistance of MisterWives’ horn section.

Tyler’s (possibly final) WDBWOTV Speech was full of awkward pauses meant to keep the show going as long as possible and a shout out to his sister Madison, whose birthday landed on the date. Tyler called Maddie “the only woman he ever loved besides my mom and my wife... and my mother-in-law... and Josh.” Curse that boy.

Tyler’s final Trees Speech of the era was suitably great (even if it was regularly interrupted by screaming from the crowd, which you can forgive, I’d be hyped/sad as frick, too). Tyler made sure to emphasize how their story shows that people should never put a ceiling on their dreams. He also, with trademark humility, repeatedly pointed out that neither he nor Josh could have done this without each other and their fans. The part that hit me the most was when Tyler got transparent and admitted that he doesn’t really know what comes after this moment for them, and that he even thought while donning the Blurryface makeup for the last time that this might be it for the band. However, he pledged not to quit, asking only that the audience give them time to not just work on their material but to grow as people before coming back with new music.

Nothing in the whole show shook me more to the core than Tyler singing “Goodbye” in “Trees”. I’m still not over it.

Actually, this hug shook me even more.

Beyond the show, there was one more piece of content that came out this week that I feel has really been overlooked: the Rock Sound 50 interview. Tyler and Josh were voted the most influential figures in rock music by the mag’s readers, and they gave one of the most honest and in-depth interviews on that topic that I’ve seen from them in quite some time (largely because they haven’t really given a ton of interviews lately). Highlights from that interview:

When asked about what they think of being influential, Josh gives the most unexpected answer possible, but one that is also quintessentially Josh: he talks about watching Dean Martin Westerns with his dad. If you think that’s random, Josh’s explanation makes a ton of sense. He states that he felt like he got to know Dean Martin through how he portrayed himself across all the various films he was involved in over the years, and that he now understands how people can look at how he presents himself on stage and other media over time and connect with the person who has crafted all of those performances.

Tyler’s answer to the question of influence is also expectedly on point: “I don’t look at celebrities or people of a certain status and aspire to be them... I’m influenced by my family, by individuals who have endured struggle and who have bettered themselves or overcome tremendous odds.”

The interviewer states that the connection between the fans and the band is genuinely unbelievable. Tyler says that he thinks his music really resonates with people because it talked honestly about what he was thinking. There’s one point that I wish I could pick his brain about. Tyler says that he’s not fulfilled by writing about personal scenes, words, and things that don’t make sense to anybody else, and that he wants to make art and live outwardly in order to connect with people. This is confusing: after all, so much of his discography is cryptic, and he famously wrote a song about his personal “Kitchen Sink”. That said, the core feelings of those songs are pretty evident and obviously connect with tons of people. I dunno. Again, would like to see if that populism is something that Tyler wants to incorporate more into his music and has been thinking about as his art has evolved.

The band talks about the responsibility of being influencers, specifically pointing to the lessons they’ve learned by being older siblings. Josh talks about the accountability that comes with being expected to be a role model. Tyler conversely says that he “feels like knowing when to step back is part of being responsible.” Tyler goes further and points out that they really have a much lower public profile than many in their occupation and level of fame, and that that’s very much an intentional choice to not go on every TV show or take every photo. It’s important for him to have time to just stay huddled in a room and not risk giving a potentially bad example on his bad days. Furthermore, he says, “I don’t crave any more attention than I have already.

Tyler appears to get actually upset and even angry when the question of authenticity comes up, openly bashing the “mainstream, pop culture” idea that they were a constructed product or that their songs don’t come from a genuine place. Tyler is very proud that he’s able to say that he has never had someone co-write one of his songs, let alone had them made by another person. “Sometimes I want to scream that so hard. It’s like, ‘Don’t you get it? Don’t you get that this isn’t some formula? This is real, and people are drawn to it because it’s real.’”

When asked if people would be surprised that they’re influenced by fans more than the other way around, Tyler fully agrees. Josh says that fans don’t just inspire him with their creativity and talent, but also force him to be a better person even on days that he doesn’t much want to be. Tyler explains that, while he makes his songs to better and “mend” parts of himself (*sobs*), he truly feels alive when those emotions bounce back from fans who have taken them and applied them to themselves.

Tyler says that the music they’ve making now has weird, structurally unsound pauses meant specifically to encourage audience reflection and participation.

On the sole light-hearted note in the interview, Tyler jokes about how he can never find the right pants, and that “pants” would probably be in the name of his theoretical solo project (don’t even joke about that, fam).

Josh interestingly talks at length about his maturation in the last years, specifically in his newfound desire to be clear and considerate in his speech in order to make people feel love and accepted, even down to wanting to draw back from too many inside jokes with Tyler. I... don’t know how I feel about that. Is that just a social media criticism thing? Or is that genuine maturity, wanting to make yourself palatable to everyone? Or is it a fame thing? I don’t know. I’m immature as heck.

When discussing self-improvement, Josh states that, in addition to learning new sports, he is also continually interested in learning new instruments and more about composition. Tyler, on the other hand, says that he’s cautious about how to evolve. Specifically, he says that he never wants to be unhappy with where he’s currently at or to look at his past work and not be proud of it. We hope you never do either, boss.

BLIND SPECULATION OF THE WEEK:

Now, the big question: What’s next? I’ve brought this up before in speculation segments, but recent events have caused me to alter my predictions somewhat. Last time, I said that I thought we wouldn’t get an album until next year, but that we almost definitely would get at least a promo track by December. Now I think I might have been overzealous.

It seems pretty clear that Twenty One Pilots has not been in the studio in their relative down-time over the last few months- any days that they weren’t vacationing or moving into new houses were probably spent rehearsing for festivals and TDC. That doesn’t negate the fact that Tyler and Josh have said that they’ve been already been working on new music a number of times over the last few months, but it does greatly lower the likelihood that they’re only a few months out from completing a project. Furthermore, just from reading the vibe of recent interviews and speeches, I think Tyler especially really needs to take at least a few months to himself. Tyler’s an extremely introverted and family-focused individual, and fame (not to mention the heavy workload of arena/festival touring) seems to have taken a bit of a toll. He clearly loves what he does, but he also clearly loves his wife, his friends, and his home, and he deserves a chance to reconnect with them, not just for his health and happiness (which is most important), but also to make sure that his creative voice remains grounded to reality. Plus... I mean, Tyler’s getting older, he’s barely a year out from thirty, guy’s been on the road the first two years of his marriage... that’s all I’m saying about that. Also, I’m sure Josh wants to go bowling, visit Universal a few more times, hang out with certain individuals, see the pyramids, and generally live an idle life for a bit.

Because of that, not only do I not think Tyler and Josh will have another album ready to go by the end of the year, I also think that they won’t even be in the studio by then. A six month vacation would give them both time to pursue other interests, invest in the people around them, and consider where they want to take the next project. Granted, label contracts, creative itches, and their work ethic might mean that they’ll be back well before that. And that would be great; no one would be happier than me to get music sooner rather than later. But my main priority is that Tyler and Josh are healthy and happy.

There’s a ton of other questions about upcoming projects, which I shall attempt to answer succinctly (too late) below to the best of my ability:

How will the concerts and setlists change when they make a bunch of new music? Most of the deep cuts from past projects will probably start to go- I doubt we’ll have room for full performances for Polarize, Message Man, WDBWOTV, Hometown, *unsteady sobbing gasp* The Run and Go, The Judge, Migraine... Beyond that, I would be thrilled if the band made use of some of their newly-acquired capital to hire a touring band. The backing tracks were a great tool for the guys when they were broke college kids, but I do think that a lot of music critics who have scorned our band have a valid point that the greatest weakness to their performances is the lack of genuine live music. I honestly don’t know if this will happen, but the Mutemath collaboration leaves me optimistic that Tyler and Josh might see the value in searching out some talented folks to flesh out their sound.

Will they release any more one-off singles for films or other media in the vein of “Heathens” between now and another album? I dunno. Hard to imagine that they haven’t been approached after the runaway success of “Heathens”, but I feel like Tyler will want to devote his time to their next major project.

Will they get bored in their off-time and go back to making Quality Comedy Content? I mean, Vine’s dead. But I don’t see why not. Go crazy, Jishwa, skate down the pyramids with your fidget spinners. Run another election, Lord knows we need one.

How will their rise to fame be reflected in their new content? I mean, there’s really no way it won’t in some implicit way. The pressures, judgement, and surreal-ness that come with that almost definitely will be on Tyler’s mind during the writing process. Honestly, though? I hope it doesn’t. Blurryface was already an album largely about dealing with insecurities and pressures involved in making music and art and, I’ll be honest, that’s what didn’t work about that album for me. Like Tyler said in the Rock Sound 50 interview, those parts spoke more to the band’s very unique experience, and I couldn’t relate to them as strongly as the paradoxically even more personal and emotional stuff in their prior projects. That’s right: on the final week of the Blurryface Cycle, I admit that I wasn’t actually completely sold every aspect of the album. I know, I’m a fake fan. However, Blurryface was still a great project made by immensely talented people, and I am so excited to see what they take away from it in making their future art

That’s all folks. I’ll be stepping away from writing regular installments of the blog for the foreseeable future, with maybe the odd one-off here and there if we get a good morsel of news (*cough*last Sleepers video*cough*) or maybe if I just miss my dudes. Hopefully I’m still in a place when the next era begins that I’ll be able to jump right back on the horse, but we’ll see where life takes me- and all of us, really. But I’m optimistic, and I know that, whatever happens I will always- always- love this band, which has given so many people hope and comfort when they needed it most.

Power to the local dreamer.

|-/

#twenty one pilots #tyler joseph #josh dun #tour de columbus #blurryface #top weekly update

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mild-lunacy · 8 years ago

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Here be Dragons (and S4)

Soooo... my thoughts. Let me show you them.

So I’ve watched it, and my coconspirators were... less than impressed. I can only imagine what fandom’s like right now (noooo, don’t tell me.) Anyway, things out of the way: I enjoyed it. Quite a bit! Loooove the plot of TLD, some of the best stuff in any season. Wonderful mindfuckery. Awesome creepy villain. Devoted bab yet badass Sherlock. Great action scenes. A lot of Angst(tm). And (I’m sure) a lot of people reevaluating everything they ever knew-- about John, Mary, the Holmes brothers, possibly Sherlock, etc etc. Just as bad as we thought, eh? Except not in the way we thought... except I guess for Mary being Birdy-like. That’s definitely there... though I’m still not sure we’ve seen the whole story.

Anyway, TST:

Love the intro reel of case scenes and Sherlock acting like a brat at all times.

Was horrified (and pissed) when Sherlock told John he preferred Mary as partner. Seemed Wrong with a capital W, even if correct on its merits. That was Not A Good Sign. But then John eventually just accepts it and tells Mary to go first (even worse sign).

Jesus Christ, that John!balloon. Oh John. Yikes? Also wow.

Overall, pushing Mary into an investigating threesome was just so wrong and bad and painful. But necessary to demonstrate how good it... isn’t. Also, John wasn’t so happy with that, and the whole Sherlock+Mary investigations thing doesn’t really work ‘cause while Sherlock wants a partner, Mary... doesn’t. In fact she runs out of the country *just* to stop Sherlock from being her partner, more or less. And then he follows anyway. It was a bit cringey, honestly.

Anyway, AGRA = a whole team is a great surprise. Employment by Mycroft foreshadowed in TAB! (Look in TAB! TAB shall save you! Remember the waterfall scene!)

Thought the way they handled the unhappy marriage to be really interesting and subtle (splitting the Antichrist scene in half). John lying, etc (though... as we find out next ep, not all is as it seems! but from John’s pov, he really did want to cheat and he did, to some extent). So basically, they both didn’t want the baby, and John wasn’t any happier than he ever was. Established.

They did banter just a bit about Rosie’s evilness, but this was then contrasted with John using that opportunity (and any opportunity) to disconnect. The intimacy was a sham.

Do I think John’s lie and Mary’s lies were *equivalent*? No. Was it all All Mary’s Fault? Also no, clearly. Set up for guilt.

As I said, Sherlock was clearly way too obsessed with keeping the vow, which Mary didn’t even seem to want. Of course not. But very heroic of him. She doesn’t want Sherlock to save her, unlike the way Sherlock and John are. Saving someone is something one has to *want*. It can’t-- shouldn’t-- be forced. Another Not So Good Sign.

I love Sherlock fighting the guy in the water hardcore. I really wanted badass Sherlock, and got him. Take that, unbelievers! haha

Sherlock’s problem is his cockiness about his mental prowess. So... he makes the same mistake again! But this time he (finally) learns, as he tells Mrs Hudson about Norbury. But it’s too late... or is it?

I’m not as horrified at Mary’s Birdy-ness as some, I’m sure. It was always an option. This is consistent in terms of Moffat’s style, and insofar as I never thought Mary was like, Moriarty material in the first place. She’s just a rogue agent. And she quit because she wanted some peace and quiet. She also kinda misses her work and wishes Sherlock would stop ‘helping’ (I mean, she even shot him to prove that point, from her pov). This was always canon. It remained canon, more or less. Am I that disappointed? No. It just means there was a reason the surface narrative existed.

I was just happy Mary was dead. Finally! Finally! gaaaah.

Do I think Mary’s throwing herself in front of Sherlock worked? Yes and no.

Yes, because I can see it balancing. They had to get rid of that storyline somehow, and it *was* imbalanced. If she’s not gonna go full evil, then you need some kinda atonement. Amanda said early on she wanted to die in John’s arms. So far, so predictable.

No, because I’m still not sure *why* she did it. Like, okay, I believe she always liked Sherlock, and felt a bit sorry, but sacrificing yourself doesn’t seem like Mary’s... thing. So... jury’s still out. John’s response, ditto.

Amanda’s performance as Mary at the end and/or the writing was kinda iffy. I didn’t really find it believable, but it’s not a deal-breaker. I am kinda confused, though.

I *will* say that the growling and lashing out seemed over-the-top. More like rage than grief, so it’s not really comparable to Reichenbach. Saying he mourned ‘more’ isn’t as relevant as saying it’s just *different*. He made Mary’s death about Sherlock, even if in terms of fault. Somehow it was about Sherlock (even though he later acknowledges that it was Mary’s choice in TLD... indirectly confirming that he’s irrational). Seems silly to really compare. The response is pretty different, and completely irrational. He thinks Sherlock’s literally superhuman, and that belief has finally come home to bite both John and Sherlock on the ass, big time.

*Given* that’s what John believes, though, his later avoidance and extreme (apparently semi-psychotic?? or otherwise facilitated?) break makes sense. As for Mary and Mrs Hudson and Molly all acting as go-betweens, that’s par for the course (same for Irene... the women are always the conduits, and so Mary serves that function even unto death).

There’s a plot thing going on. I dunno *what* plot thing, but some things are not as they seem, and I cannot tell you what I think of John’s behavior without knowing what mindfuck we’re dealing with. Speaking of Moffat’s style, the one thing I feel sure of is that ‘our’ John’s devoted to Sherlock. That is a central truth, and I mean outside of the canon Johnlock thing. Still, I can see John breaking because of guilt and rage and just... everything, and needing to be saved. I can also see Mary predicting this, and knowing that John can always be counted upon to help, to save Sherlock Holmes. She was there at the wedding speech. And it’s true that John wouldn’t accept help. So... John hits rock bottom, loses himself, starts hallucinating (as does Sherlock-- but Sherlock does drugs). We don’t really know what John does. But I believe he acts the way he does for a reason, and even the hallucination thing must have a reason, especially in an ep where there’s lots of mind-altering drugs floating around and reality’s not super firm.

So I’m not super certain what Really Happened. I wouldn’t go so far as to say TLD wasn’t ‘real’. I think the plot happened. I just think we don’t know *everything* and things are deceiving. I also think that the waterfall scene (’there’s always two of us’) is gospel in terms of representing the center of how Moffat and Gatiss think. So the fact that it’s both threatened and highlighted in TLD-- John needs to save Sherlock, Sherlock needs to save John, but neither quite succeeds-- should tell you that we’re not supposed to be satisfied. It’s quite obvious Sherlock didn’t save John-- John’s life is literally more in danger than ever before at the end of TLD. And John says he didn’t want to save Sherlock till Mary pushed him-- though Mary’s repeatedly said to be a part of his mind. A part that teases him about Sherlock, while John represses and avoids. John doesn’t think he’s Sherlock’s John-- but (as we saw with hard proof when Sherlock predicts his behavior early on), Sherlock demonstrably *knows* him. John doesn’t even think he’s Mary’s John-- he thinks Mary idealized him, and he’s not ‘that man’. So he’s lost all faith and doesn’t know who/what to believe. But again, neither do we-- we’re right where John is. My coconspirators have also lost faith, and don’t know what to believe anymore, along with John.

Something’s going on with the hallucinations, whether Sherrinford or Mary. But there’s got to be an explanation. Like for example, how is the paper real? Why did Sherrinford know all that stuff (or did she)? How did Sherlock seem to know about Mary, the specter at the wedding, so to speak? I don’t know, but I want to. Something really weird is going on.

The one thing I do know, the one thing I cannot doubt, is that John Watson always saves Sherlock Holmes (and vice versa). One suggests the other, as TLD states explicitly. So if they’re making us question it, they’ve definitely got something up their sleeve, as I said. This isn’t about canon Johnlock; John and Sherlock’s devotion is at the heart of their partnership. TAB is a great foreshadowing and/or set-up in that regard. We know that when John acted callous and uncaring at the grave site, this wasn’t the real John. That was only two eps ago. So... yeah.

More thoughts on TLD:

What a mindfuck! It’s glorious. So tight, so well-plotted. Just really wonderful. The whole critique that begs itself is that John’s not John-like, but then you have TAB and that cliffhanger. So... to be continued.

The whole set-up of the confession that’s set up to be forgotten is really ingenious. The cereal killer stuff is amazing. They just had so much fun with the plotting here, and it shows. My fave villain besides Moriarty. Genuinely creepy and fun. Both traumatizing and fun in the old-school evil sense. It’s great.

The way Mrs Hudson shows up with Sherlock in tow, her having that crazy car and owning property in central London, Sherlock predicting everything John does (including Molly) two weeks away... Jesus. That was amazing. Mrs. Hudson is amazing.

I’m here to tell you I was immediately irritated by Sherrinford. Yeah, even on the bus (seemed weirdly fake and pushy!) and then like, you know, that’s a weirdly fake and pushy psychologist, too. Acting a bit like TEH Mary, actually.

Everything’s a series of lies, no less than TAB, except the stakes are higher. Sherrinford’s a prime example of a character who’s constantly twisting and changing, like ripples in a pond. Really really well done. The initial scene at Baker Street with Sherlock was so great as characterization. ‘Fuck off’. ‘Bollocks’. Sherlock being pouty. It’s just so painful, too. God, that whole scene was killer, so painful it’s exquisite.

Poor Sherlock. Babs. :( He misses him so much. :(

Also, we were right! Take heart, we’re right about the things that count, and also: Mofftiss are liars. Sherrinford says Sherlock’s so nice, and then of course Mrs Hudson says Sherlock feels things, operates on feeling. I just. Wah. Also, Sherlock really is nice. I was really touched.

Sherlock being so willing to believe he just made up his meeting with Sherrinford, like... boy thinks he literally has magical powers, haha.

The joke (”joke”) about Sherlock and/or Mycroft dying in weeks also foreshadowed in TAB.

John beating up Sherlock at the morgue was brutal though. Jury’s still out on a lot of things, however. Some weird stuff was happening in that scene, ‘cause this is after that whole episode of losing it after thinking of Sherrinford, weird camerawork, time-skip forward to Lestrade and so on.

I know that a lot of things about surface HLV have been seemingly proven real... but even there, I’m not totally sure. This show is amazing. I do think we know that Sherlock somehow convinced himself he trusted Mary. We also never see John reject Mary to the degree he rejected Sherlock, in large part ‘cause Sherlock went out of his way to prevent that. Still, HLV didn’t have this much drugs floating around.

I kinda love the plot resolution, I have to say. The recorder in the cane is interesting tho. Was John in on it? Did Sherlock put it in afterwards? I dunno, don’t ask me, I just work here. I will say that Something is going on, and parts of the set-up (working partly with and partly without John) reminds me of TRF.

Here be Dragons: John and Sherlock’s conversation at Baker Street, and Sherrinford. We pretty much know nothing about Sherrinford except that this casts parts of John’s characterization/behavior in TST into doubt. He was obviously being manipulated, to some degree. To what degree, I don’t know.

The conversation is obviously yet more heterobaiting. *Is* it obvious? Well, it’s not usual. It’s the sort of thing we’ve seen before. Is it painful anyway? Yes.

Great to see Sherlock move to comfort John, though. He’s definitely progressed and grown a lot.

John’s whole thing about not being Mary’s John, his lost faith in himself, his insistence that Sherlock needs a woman... I just can’t take it at face value. Call me naive. The whole thing rings hollow. It’s not the whole story, certainly. Can I imagine John saying this at the end of his rope, though? I mean, he even cried. Very confused. (Funny how Sherlock sort of awkwardly tiptoed about the whole Irene thing). John’s clearly still breaking. Still unsaved. Go on, Sherlock. Save John Watson. It really is (almost certainly) the real Final Problem.

#sherlock spoilers #series 4 #pointless rambles #me myself and i #sherlock review

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cliftonsteen · 5 years ago

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Review: Marco BRU (F45M)

Over the last 15 years, I have had so much coffee brewing gear move through my house it’s unbelievable. I really think I helped Gumtree become successful in the early days. I like to say that I’m an enthusiast, so its ok to buy every new brewing gizmo that celebrity coffee ‘A’ listers have told me to buy. Really though, it’s because I am dissatisfied with everything that I have purchased in the past. So here I am, a decade and a half of home coffee brewing under my belt, unhappy with the coffee that I make at home.

This isn’t the biggest problem for me though, when I arrive at work I have thousands of dollars worth of the latest gear to brew coffee with and a huge range coffee’s to choose from. Recently though its been starting to eat at me, I had some friends come over and so fired up the espresso machine. My problem is that I don’t really drink espresso much at home, I really prefer having espresso based drinks in café’s and I find that they get pretty messy for a quick cup before work. This means the grinder wasn’t close to being dialled and I didn’t have enough milk in the house for the number of guests that wanted flat whites (everyone!). So there I was, the coffee expert, serving a bunch of coffee’s that can politely be described as ‘inconsistent’.

Then tragedy struck, I broke my plunger. I honestly wondered what I should do next, I even considered throwing in the towel and not having coffee in the house (my wife wasn’t really keen on that idea). The solution hit me pretty hard, we were talking equipment for our stand at the Melbourne International Coffee Expo I saw that we had a couple of Marco Bru F45M’s in stock at the roastery and I decided to grab the small batchy machine as my home brewing device – and what a massive difference it has made to my home coffee. Genuinely life changing.

The Bru is super fast and easy to use, it’s a manual fill batch brewer that plugs into a standard 10A socket. Use is simple and, like any percolator, stick to the ratio of 60g per 1Litre of water and you can’t really go wrong. Just place the batch brewer filter paper in, add your filter roasted coffee, switch the power on and you’ll have a batch done in a few minutes.

The first thing that you need to know about the Bru is that its bigger than most batch systems, probably too big if your kitchen is in an apartment or you struggle with bench space. It comes with 2 x 1.8L pyrex jugs to brew into and has a separate heating element on the top if you want to have coffee stored in both. The advantage is the output. If my wife and I are having coffee, it will easily do a 600ml batch for both of us without losing quality due to a shallow bed depth. If you have a few people over for breakfast (when we’re allowed to do that again), you can brew 1.8L of batch ready to go which is enough for about 8 cups of coffee. If you use the heating element on the top, you can keep up to 3.6L of batch hot though – so 16 cups ready to go!

It’s ability to scale up is really handy, I’ve paired it with the Baratza Encore and catered the coffee for breakfasts and birthdays without an issue. One kids birthday party was at brunch o’clock and had 60 tired, thirsty parents attending. The Bru didn’t miss a beat and I didn’t have to spend the entire party locked in the kitchen making coffee and cleaning up is super easy at the end – a win all round!

It’s ability to scale down is a little more difficult though, so if you’re a house with only one coffee drinker then check out the Moccamaster Classic, they also come in a range of funky colours.

I’m lucky enough to still have my espresso machine on the counter for when I need to dive back into a few espresso based drinks, but if you’re like me and want a delicious coffee, fast, without too much messing around (or mess around!) then a batch system is for you.

The post Review: Marco BRU (F45M) appeared first on Five Senses Coffee.

Review: Marco BRU (F45M) published first on https://espressoexpertweb.weebly.com/

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jccamus · 7 years ago

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The world of Voice AI according to Gary Vaynerchuk

Gary Vaynerchuk and his agency Vayner Media are already known for dominating and owning social media. But now they're turning their attentions to Voice AI. We caught up with Gary to talk about the massive opportunities and challenges that a future of talking to machines presents. Here's the conversation in full:

Can we establish your views on how revolutionary Voice AI is and is going to be in our day to day lives

It’s going to be one of the core pillars of our interaction. I would say in a decade it’s going to rival the cell phone as we know it today. Ultimately because of how much time we spend the cell phone will continue to be the primary, but I genuinely believe that voice AI enabled devices and infrastructure is going to become as crucial as the cell phone in the way we interact with technology.

Let’s talk about control for a second. That dynamic between the user, the brands and the platforms (the machines/the device). Who’s actually in control here?

The software’s in control and then the device that delivers it. I mean, we have to go a little further in that question, the consumer is in control of everything because if you don’t choose to have that device you don’t have it. But once you enter that fray, the relationship changes and then the device starts the process of taking over.

So in the context of brands using Voice AI, how can they compete in this space? Will platforms ultimately decide what content users encounter?. Are there ways in which brands can maximize or optimize their presence whether that’s voice SEO or paid voice AI? What are the type of things that brands should be thinking about?

I think ultimately we’re going to get into an environment where there are apps built on top of these devices and brands and businesses and entrepreneurs need to try to become the voice versions of WAZE, Spotify, Instagram and all the other monster businesses that were built on top [of the smartphone]. One could have formed this argument when the iPhone came out, like Apple can control, Apple can make. Ultimately these platforms make a hell of a lot more money if they’re frenemies with the brands. Amazon’s not going to private label every single category quickly. So I’m a big believer that brands need to understand these platforms (whether that’s voice or social) and they need to find the right cadence and the most value out of it, while recognizing that they’re not fully in control.

There are some who think it’s a mistake to put your brand in the hands of a third party, letting the likes of Amazon or Apple speak for your company. How do you still maintain a voice (pardon the pun!) as a brand using Voice AI?

I mean, what’s the alternative, right? Let’s talk about the number of businesses that are not leveraging Google or Facebook or TV. That’s just the game. If you wanna build a brand and build awareness you are going to rent space at some point. Driving them to your environment and collecting first party data is the game, right? I think it’s a mistake to rely solely on anything, look at the biggest brands in the world they were relying on Walmart. That was a mistake. They’re going to end up relying on Amazon. That’s going to be a mistake. So I think it’s a dance and the way you win that dance, and they way I have as a personal brand, and the businesses I’ve helped who’ve won, is by only thinking about the end consumer.

So if a brand is going to develop Voice AI should it work across different platforms?

Yes, absolutely. I’m already trying to figure out how to work on Google Home Pod, without knowing anything. I’m giving my recommendations because you don’t want to be at the mercy of one, let alone two. Plus you never know who wins, right? Like, I intuitively feel like Amazon has got a real shot here. It’s really hard to completely count out Google and Apple and I still think sneakily in some weird place Facebook is working on something.

Let’s talk about some of the risk involved. It wouldn’t be technology and there wouldn’t be opportunity without some risks. One of the biggest potential risks of AI, is actually the risk of bias and negative bias. For example, many voice assistants typically have female voices unless you change the settings.

I think it’s an interesting question. I’m a big fan of intent and also understanding consumer control. So for example, I have a lot of empathy for Google and Amazon, they have to pick one of the voices or they just mash it up to create a neutral voice that doesn’t exist that sounds like a robot, which I don’t think is going to be the best use of their time. If you’re Apple and you’re coming out with your voice, you’re Siri, in essence you’re picking between a man or a woman, right? And in this highly emotional political state you have people react one way or the other. I think for me, what Vayner media is doing about it is, we’re having some interesting conversations like we think brands are actually going to have to have a voice. Like, what does Budweiser sound like? These are conversations we’ve never had before in our lives. Is that Morgan Freeman everytime? Is that a new voice altogether? I recognize that we need to be thoughtful at all times, when you only have an A or B choice, you’ve gotta make a choice.

In terms of the conversations that could happen within that device, if the predominant group creating AI do not reflect society, what happens then?

Hold on… You’ve made an assumption, be careful.

I’m not making an assumption. I’m putting an assertion that out there to you.

I inform the readers of this article or video, I implore them to do their homework on what’s happening with these things. If you’re in the trenches and you understand the people working on these platforms, look, technology’s heavy handedness and the conversation around it is an interesting one for me because it’s actually very simple: everybody here is a big boy and big girl. If you’re unhappy with Amazon or Google or Apple’s execution around their imposing way, you’re more than welcome to not use them anymore. All my friends who are deeply conservative who tell me "screw Google because the results that come up have liberal bias", I tell them all the time, you’re more than welcome to use Yahoo.

Interesting point Gary. But there is certainly a need for inclusion during the development of AI because it’s so important to get it right.

Are you kidding me? There’s a need for inclusion in every aspect of our lives in both directions. I live in Manhattan, I spend time in Silicon Valley, I have an office in London, LA and in Chattanooga, Tennessee. I don’t think voice, as big a technology space as it is, is the biggest thing we need to address. The human race has things that it needs to look at itself for. I agree voice is going to be a massive platform thus it’s an opportunity for us to have great inclusion. I would argue that what these companies are going to do, is they’re gonna allow you set it up from the get. Like, it’s really easy for these four or five tech companies to allow you to set up Alexa the way you want. Everyone will have complete control over that voice's sound and tone.

Are we in an era of predictive retail and over personalization?

Yes, I believe there’s an opportunity for that. But I’d also argue that then comes the new business and media and marketing opportunity. Like Snapchat in the face of an open, social web. So, the answer’s yes. And then, what’s gonna happen is there’s gonna be this huge opportunity to move back into broadcast, because we’re going to be starving for the opposite. That’s the human psychology. Technology is exposing us, not changing us.

It’s changing us as well, surely?

It’s exposing us, not changing us. We are using these tools and we are big boys and girls. Facebook does very little in comparison to what Network Television does. People have been curated to their whole lives. We make choices everyday. I think there is an enormous lack of responsibility. We have an unbelievable inability to take responsibility for our actions and it feels a hell of a lot better to blame technology than it is to blame ourselves for short comings and ignorance.

Stephen Hawking passed away recently. There’s been lots of different soundbites about what he’s said about AI i.e. a super intelligence that could spell the end of the human race. But ultimately what he was really saying was that we need to understand this technology and potentially regulate it. Are you of a similar mindset?

That’s a great question. I genuinely believe that we are naive if we don’t believe that this accelerates to a level that is far beyond our minds. Look at what the sci-fi movies of the 60’s predicted. There are certain things we’re not even close to, but there are also technologies that are far exceeding our dreams.

You know it’s funny, I’m a boy that was born in the soviet union and grew up in the US, so I have a very interesting dichotomy on regulation and a free market. I’m a big believer in the human spirit. I think the most underestimated thing in the world is human. We’ve been around forever and we’ve gone through unbelievable amounts of things. My question is: look, would I regulate AI today? I intuitively wouldn’t. I believe that would lead to not getting to the opportunity fast enough

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rebeccawhite83 · 7 years ago

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The Complications of the Teenage Life

Have you ever seen the movie 'The Truman Show'? If you haven't, it's a tragic movie about a man called Truman Burbank who doesn't know that since he was a young child he was filmed and his whole life was false and planned out. Every single human interaction wasn't genuine it was all for a TV show, his wife, his best friend even his father's death was all faked. Jim Carrey is brilliant at portraying the heartbreaking truth that all of our lives are faked in some way or another.

The only reason I mention this is because in my everyday life at the back of my head I feel the need to make my life like a movie. After watching The Truman Show and many other pop-classic teen movies, I can't listen to music without thinking "What if this was a movie?" "What if there camera's filming?” Even just simply laying on the couch reading a book I feel like making it look better because this could be filmed and millions of peoples could be watching right now.

I know this isn’t the case, but my life sometimes feels so empty, so bad but so chaotic that it has to be the making of someone else. But that someone else isn’t an evil producer, it’s a messed up thing in my brain. The chaos is a big gaping pit ready to swallow me whole. As a teenager, I have many things that add to this chaos. School. Home. Family. Friends. The stress of everyday life. And in amides all of this I am trying to figure out my life but what the amusing thing is about all of this, all of the effort and all of the research into who I am, is that no teenager knows who they really are. All teenagers are truly alone, in this great bleakness of what we call life.

Isn’t it funny how you can sit in a room full of people and still feel so infinity alone? I feel like that all the time, and mostly it doesn’t matter where or who I am with. I wish so deeply with every fiber of my being that I had someone to talk to, but I know that I don’t. I can’t speak to my mother because, with all that I am feeling and at the same time all that I am not, she would blame herself and would go down the same road of self-pity that makes me feel unable to speak to her about these things. About the monsters, because the monster has now moved from under my bed to inside my head.

I want what every teenager wants. Acceptance, and when no one does it feels like the whole world is against you. It hurts. It hurts because when you are in school, with friends and even the teachers you care what people think, it matters to you because if it matters to others, then it has to definitely matter to you. Because if they don’t like you, then no one ever will. We as teenagers just want people to like us even if it means losing what we have of ourselves.

I know of myself that I have no idea what I am doing in my life because most of the time I can’t seem to get out of bed. It is like this heavy weight it on my chest pushing me down, and I cannot find the courage to push back against it. How when the sunlight shines through the window, I hate it. I hate how it holds the promise of a new day. The only thing that is harder than waking up in the morning is going to sleep at night. I loathe laying awake at night, staring at the ceiling with eyes burning because I don't know nor have the energy to close my eyes. Everything in my life seems to be fake and falling apart; fake smiles cut at me, blood runs downs my cheeks, as I struggle to keep it on my face. My chest feels like there is a heavy weight on top of me. Every day is getting worse, and I can't do it any longer. It hurts, even just sitting here writing this, I am in agony.

My life, it funny just thinking about those two words, ‘My life’ what does it mean to you? I probably mean nothing to you because you do not know me and I probably sound like any other whining teen. I know my life means very little and that is what I am scared of, I am terrified of dying without my life having any meaning. I know, that if I disappeared no one would notice, I don’t mean the people close to me, I mean the universe.

I often find myself remembering as I cry the first time I tried to kill myself I was barely a teenager. I don't think if I knew then what I know now that it would have changed anything. Because it wasn't about what I knew it was how I felt, my feelings just took over me. I was alone, in a narrow dark, terrifying place however it didn't work. Well, obviously it didn't work. I didn't even have the brains to kill myself, isn't that funny, isn't that just hilarious.

But that's my life, never doing anything right, never being good enough at anything. Everything I've done, every single day of my life is officially bloody pointless. Have you ever walked around your school, work or wherever and feel so infinitely and utterly unimportant. If you disappeared then nobody would notice, the world wouldn't care, people would just get on with their boring, unhappy lives.

Have you ever looked around at the people you call friends, and see that in their life's you are nothing?

People tear you down by accident, but also on purpose, and they don't say sorry. They do it because they are miserable in their own lives that they have to let out some of that misery on other people. It just proves that you are nothing to them, nothing more than a past time thing to talk too, nothing more than a piece of muck on their shoe. It sucks I can tell you that, but I guess you figured that out because everything else in my life sucks.

I felt the need to create this character, and she is perfect, she's invincible, strong and so I carry on living these two lives, one for the public and one just for me late at night because that is easier than admitting I have a problem. My depression is the hell inside of me, and it eats me up daily. The pain doesn't go away, but I'm learning to make room for it, deep inside my soul.

I find it unbelievably difficult to express how I feel, I open my mouth to speak but no words come out, and I end up swallowing the sadness. I have tortured my soul and myself in search of the ability to speak. I cannot express to someone how much I love them; I don’t feel loved when someone tells me they love me and I can't feel anything but numbness.

I am so sick of pretending so sick of ignoring how utterly broken people are and how messed up this world is. The pain is becoming so much more intense, and I'm tired so tired of feeling like I am screaming and no-one can hear me. I use everything I can to block out the world; -Books, -Music, -Alcohol

Yet I have never felt so infinitely alone I am helpless in the face of it all. There is no one here for me, and no one cares. I know that someone must care because I know that I have touched someone’s life but that kindness that I have in me to help others is slowly diminishing away from my grasp.

Maybe being hopefully for the first time, I will tell someone when they ask me if I am okay, I'll admit that I am really not okay. Just not today.

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