#it's almost time for my twilight reread y'all

[bookwyrminspiration]

Favorite Twilight moments?

Two moments come to mind first (though I'm positive there are more), but also I will be overexplaining and including long quotes so just know that you brought this upon yourself!

I'm surprising myself with this one actually because the very first scene that came to mind was the one towards the end of book two where Bella has an epiphany that Edward loves her.

Context (suicide mention tw): Edward broke up with Bella and his family left town in the beginning of the book, Bella spent the book trying (and failing miserably) to get over him until she had to zoom to Italy to stop him from killing himself dramatically. He'd thought she'd died and so was going to join her in death, and to grossly oversimplify she went despite thinking she wasn't worthy of him and that he didn't love her, saved him, and brought him back to Forks.

She then thinks he's going to leave her again, but for some reason he stays and keeps acting strange (lovingly) towards her, and she doesn't understand why. She thinks maybe it's pity, but it doesn't quite match up. And then she has a little epiphany that goes like this:

I thought of that night in Port Angeles when I'd had my first delusion. I'd come up with two options [to explain it]. Insanity or wish fulfillment. I'd seen no third option. But what if... What if you sincerely believed something was true, but you were dead wrong? What if you were so stubbornly sure that you were right, that you wouldn't even consider the truth? Would the truth be silenced, or would it try to break through? Option three: Edward loved me. The bond forged between us was not one that could be broken by absence, distance, or time. And no matter how much more special or beautiful or brilliant or perfect than me he might be, he was as irreversibly altered as I was. As I would always belong to him, so would be always be mine. Was that what I'd been trying to tell myself? "Oh!" "Bella?" "Oh. Okay. I see." "Your epiphany?" he asked, his voice uneven and strained. "You love me," I marveled. The sense of conviction and rightness washed through me again. Through his eyes were still anxious, the crooked smile I loved best flashed across his face. "Truly, I do."

It's so ludicrous and also endearing at the same time. I'm a sucker for characters realizing they can be loved, because this is the scene where Bella starts truly believing she can be loved and that Edward isn't faking it or unsatisfied with her (she has confidence issues, and his perfection doesn't help). Her doubts have plagued the first two books but now she genuinely believed she's loved and I think that's great!

but ALSO this scene is her coming to the genuine god-forsaken conclusion that "hey! i had hallucinations of Edward for months because he loves me! this is so sweet alexa play a thousand years." Bella. Girl. Please. So this sweet epiphany is simultaneous really satisfying (to me) and also unbelievable because Bella do you hear yourself.

The second that came to mind is this one scene/series of scenes from Midnight Sun, which isn't technically part of the main story but I'm including it. It's twilight rewritten from Edward's pov.

And towards the end of twilight, Bella catches the unfortunate attention of a tracker, and he starts hunting her down to kill her very intently. This means that she needs to be protected, and you know who's a great protector? My favorite boy: emmett!!

There's a series of mentions of Emmett being protective of Bella and really serious about it (which is in contrast to his light-hearted, himbo nature) and I already love him so I just find it so sweet.

Here's a few:

"Strap her in," I [Edward] hissed to Emmett. He'd chosen the back with Bella, recognizing that he would be her bodyguard as long as I needed to drive. He was willing, even eager.

Emmett was already wondering if he should restrain her. I spoke his name, low and hard, so he would know that I wanted him to do this. He caught her wrists carefully in his huge hands and immobilized them.

"Don't worry, Bella," Emmett was saying--in a voice I found much too upbeat--while he loosed her from the harness. "We'll take care of things here quickly."

"Emmett was running in the road close behind us now. I was surprised at his intentions I would have expected he'd be itching to catch the tracker in pursuit, to bring this ordeal to a quick and violent end. Instead, hes thoughts were focused on Bella. His few moments as bodyguard seemed to have affected him deeply. Her safety was his current priority. Bella brought out everyone's protective side. [...] Still, Emmett wanted to make it clear that the tracker would have to go directly through him to get to Bella.

I'm already fervently in love with Emmett (and Alice), and every moment with him is a joy, so getting to see him be all big-brotherly and caring about Bella when she's so new to his life is just. Ah! I love it so much.

Emmett can say anything and I'd pay rapt attention he's just a guy. He's an idiot but so lovable. He was mauled by a bear and now eats bears for fun. He loves to fuck. He's absolutely infatuated with his wife and has married her several times. He brought a whole bag of eggs to school in the movie. He stronk. He's the one member of the Cullen family without depression or problems he's just having a good time and I adore him.

So those are the first two moments from twilight that come to mind as my favorites! I'm absolutely certain I could think of more, but I'll stop there for now. I'm very normal about twilight and like it a normal amount :)

[cloudninetonine]

A Player's Aid: Chapter 13

Fandom: Legend of Zelda, Linked Universe

A/N: I'D LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE WHO GAVE ME MORAL SUPPORT ON OUR GROUP CALL AND A SPECIAL THANKS TO MY EDITORS, FANGS AND SHY, ALSO FOR LISTENING TO ME REREAD IT ALL Y'ALL GREAT

Warnings: Bad language, mentions of violence, mentions of blood, threatening language, descriptions of sick/vomit/throw up, disturbing imagery descriptions and descriptions of panic/anxiety attack, also slight implications of suicidal tendencies

The weight of the world felt heavy on your shoulders in this castle of darkness and silence. Your body weak, shaking under the pressure of any regret that ever did cross your mind as you sat there, curled into the tightest ball with a tear soaked face and fear blanketing your eyes.

It was true, what they said. Near death, your life would flash before your very eyes, letting you relive every last waking moment in a solemn look that only grew more agonising by the second. Your mother? Stranded. Alone. Never to be seen again. Your friends? Abandoned. Clueless. Left wondering what  happened to your being. Would you ever return to your home? Would Hyrule be your resting place? Whether from old age or the consequences of a risky move, resulting in a bloody pool beneath your cooling body-

How did you get here? When did you get here? Where were you? Was this real? Were you real? The suspense almost choked you, hands shaking with repressed emotion, clutching tightly to your cloak that hung from your shoulders. Home. You wanted home. You wanted your home. You wanted, wanted, wanted, wanted-

“(Name),” Wild called again, his hand coming to join yours balled tightly around the fabric of your mantle, “Please, I know you are scared but you must pull through.”

The Champion sounded so close yet so far. A mixture of nonsense and sense as your brain continued to stay muddled in the lone castle hallway.

Not a skulltula stalked the corners, nor did the Shadow’s darkness lurk, dragging against the walls and floor as it searched desperately for your petrified figure. Was he still reeling from your defiance? Had he simply taken the wrong turn at some point while desperately scrambling after you? Why wasn’t he here? Was he waiting? Watching?

A whimper broke past your lips.

Wild glanced around nervously.

What to do? What to do? The Wild Hero knew of your pain but yet didn’t know how to heal it. Time was ticking, he knew that danger was on the prowl and with only a lone holder of courage, the blonde knew that it would be a dangerous brawl indeed-

But then he remembered.

Wild remembered back, all those many moon cycles ago, when the Shadow had struck down the ranch-hand. Rivers of blood bloomed from the slash of the Iron Knuckle’s blow, spouting maroon sullying the area around Wolfie as he collapsed back onto the earth below, unmoving and quiet as time seemed to pause as all eyes fell onto him. He remembered the rage, he remembered the fear and the shouting and the pleas and he remembered it.

Standing. Watching. Waiting.

From anger sprouted seething hatred as he stared. It felt mocking, despite the apparent leaking wound under its bulking armour. Mocking of the hero before it, triumphant over its victory- Twilight had gotten cocky in his incessant hunt and now he had experienced its true power. 

Wild had snapped then, watching his friend bleed out between the bodies of his brothers protecting him even unknowingly. His newly forged sword drawn at the ready with his hand itching towards his slate as he bolted towards it. The hero did not care of its destructive power, he did not care of the consequences of his rage; others yelled around him but he would not yield, not even for them.

And he did what he did best- he swung.

The Chains of Stasis keeping it still, he hurled hit after hit of his blade. Every emotion that burned in the rivers of his veins poured into the strength of each and every blow. The dents in the armour only fed into his bloodlust, gripping his heart, almost choking but he kept at it, kept beating until the dinging finally stopped and his sword snapped from the strain, the armoured giant bubbling from the tension before exploding into a barrage of scrap, liquid darkness pooling around the remains.

The first attempt to break them. Put the fear into them all as Twilight had laid in that inn bed. The Shadow had tried to pull them apart from the seams, digging its  sharpened claws into the fabric to rip what held them together- their brotherhood, their bond. If one was to fall, what would become of the rest? Chaos would ensue and chaos did take  its toll, fights and venomous words breaking out between them.

But…but Twilight had made it. Miraculous and a miracle, the man of muscle had returned to his brothers with only regrets of secrecy to his name.

Wild would not let this happen again. He would not let the Shadow grin that mocking smirk as you laid cold on the floor below, blood pooling beneath you.

“(Name), I’m going to lift you, okay?” Words soft, the Wild Hero stroked your hands, testing his touch. “Don’t panic.”

When you didn’t respond negatively he moved his palms downward, slipping one under your knees and tightening another around your back, pushing his weight onto one leg to haul himself to his feet. It wasn’t ideal, not being able to fight, but this was all he could do while you were still stunned.

Bouncing you a little, he readjusted you in his arms and made quick work of returning to his brothers.

----------

Despite the Ache’s deceit and malicious intentions- it had not lied.

The skulltula herd had been quite the fight. The dodging of pincers while slashing their swords, snapping jaws with saliva dripping an ungodessly sight until the very end, Sky plunging the Master Sword straight into the archnid’s softened belly with monster blood spraying. The hero’s eyes were dark then, watching the creature writhe and squeal in pain until the very end, the dark purple ‘poof!’ of monster magic fading along with any remnants of the beast.

“We must still check the castle’s library- whether or not another hoard awaits us.”

They had to find those hostages.

And they did.

Builders, guards, mere travellers and others from the settlement were held up in the confines of the library- singing praises of the heroes appearance, handshakes and hugs of desperation shared all around as they cheered. 

“Our rations grew smaller, we were unsure if we would ever make it out alive!” Cried the head guard, Cillian was his name. “Thank you, good sirs, thank you so!”

“What led you into this mess?” The smithy had asked, “What happened?”

A builder’s moustache shook along with his wobbling lip, tears cornering his eyes. “Great big beasts with too many legs and eyes chased us! Attacked those who were unprepared! The library was the only place restored enough to keep back all of them!”

His friends comforted him as he wailed.

Cillian turned back to the heroes.

“Tell me, heroes- do these monsters still stalk those halls?” Cillain seemed almost afraid of his own words, let alone the answer. “Are we still in danger?”

The ranch-hand stepped forward. “We are all far from perfect safety but the hallways are no longer overgrown with webs or these creatures. We will escort you out, but any fighters who can still draw their sword should stay prepared to brawl.”

Hylians cried out in despair but the more battle prone called for their clarity- now wasn’t the time, they needed to escape.

The heroes did not forget of their other current affairs. Hyrule’s hand shaking around the hilt of his sword as he looked forward, dead eyed at the thoughts running through his mind.

Had the Wild Hero found you yet? Or did he still sprint through those halls? Once Twilight had tossed him with his shield, his bare strength throwing the smaller blonde over the crowd of monsters and a little further down the hallway, Wild had raced away. The skulltula couldn’t even keep up, left in the dust of the Hylian heroes brown polished boots. It was no surprise of course, the man had one goal on his mind and that was finding you- he had no time.

Were you okay? Were you dead? Hyrule’s pupils shook in boiling anger and fear. What if Wild hadn’t made it in time? What if he had just stepped into the scene to see the Shadow’s hands tear wildly at your skin, blood staining his claws as he tore out your own heart?

What-

A scream.

A scream so vile and horrid echoed through the stones, bouncing through the hallways and catching the ears of the masses. Others also screamed, horrified. Many covered their own ears and others ducked when the walls shook from this shriek’s power, dust  crumbling from newly built structures and books falling off their shelves as the shockwaves hit until finally relaxing.

The heroes all shared a look.

Warriors wasn’t fast enough to grab Hyrule’s tunic before he was scrambling.

“Traveller!”

The eldest had roared, worried but also frustrated, but it was too late. Hyrule had leapt three steps each of the staircase and bolted right back the way they had come, the others in a state of shock before the Captain had begun to chase after him.

“I’ll make sure he won’t kill himself!” 

And they, too, were gone.

Six remained.

Twilight’s hands twitched, glancing over to Time who could see the confliction in his eyes. Holding back for him.

He sighed, “Go.”

And now there were Five.

“We will escort you all, come.”

----------

Navigating the new paths of the castle was a little harder than Wild expected. It had been so long since he had trekked these halls, crumbling and blotched with Ganon’s malice as monsters of all kinds chased him. Bad memories, ones he would much prefer to forget, nevermind what this grand palace would have looked like before the chaos of the Calamity. Zelda hadn’t come to see the rebuilding yet either, despite the idea being raised, similar tainted dreams associated with her old home. It was why she stayed with him back in Hateno, making plans and working towards a goal in the confines of brick instead of the towering stone.

Anywho, Hyrule Castle was renewed and with renewal came new things- these were new hallways. Winding and detailed, new rooms had been carved from the remains of old- the webbing of the skulltula only added to the confusion, everything looking the same.

Damned beasts.

Sneaking by another one of those eight legged monstrosities, Wild dipped out of the room quietly and sped his walk to a silent jog, your arms tightening around him. More lucid now, you clung to the man in fear.

“Is he looking for us?” Your voice was a whisper, soft against his ear and making it twitch. “Or did he give up?”

He hated to quash that small spark of hope that dwindled. “I highly doubt it, not when it’s just the two of us.”

Your terrified whimper broke his heart. “He knows I’m the guide- he thinks I have some sort of magical power.”

It made sense, why else would he drag you here-

“He said he wanted it, he said he was going to tear out my heart-”

“Hey, hey, shhhh, shhhh.” The hero held you close, ducking into a corner away from prying eyes as you silently wept into his shoulder. “I won’t let that happen, do you hear me? He won’t touch a hair on your head.”

You’d cried like this only once before. Terrified, choked out, the hero could remember the weight on his chest and the feeling of fingers gently combing through his hair despite the lack of physical appearance with him. Wild could see the shading trees, leaves blowing in the wind as he laid in a pool of his own blood near the dead centre of Giant’s Forest- the Hinox remains laid just a little ways away.

“Please, Link, please you can’t die-” You choked, his heart hurting at the whimper. “You can’t leave me here alone-”

Wild hadn’t been gifted with Mipha’s grace yet. Too busy challenging himself to do more, beat more, he needed to be perfect when the time came to defeat the evil lurking within the cogs of the Divine Beasts. Better yet the malicious monster that resided in Hyrule Castle.

Yet there he laid, chilling and still in the once luscious green grass.

You had saved him somehow of course you had, someone just as amazing and brilliant as his guide would be the one to pull him from the brink of death. He would later wake from his unconscious slumber, laying somewhere different but bandaged and semi-functioning while you sobbed in relief. You never told him what you did, but he trusted you enough to never ask- after all, he always woke up alive, didn’t he?

Alive and remembering your shaking voice as you pleaded with him not to fall victim to his injuries.

Wild hated your frightened tears but at least this time he could do something about it.

Looking at him, broken and afraid, he moved his hand to gently brush away the wetness cornering your eyes. “I’m here for you, (Name).”

You searched his gaze for hesitation but found only sincerity.

“Do you think you can stand?”

“Y..yeah…”

The blonde helped you to your feet gently, his arm careful around you until finally you could stand on your own shaky legs, fighting back the mental exhaustion of it all. The hero pulled his sword from his sheath with his free hand coming to grab your own before tugging you to follow after him quickly, eyes scanning the area then quietly jogging towards another corner.

Another body slammed right into the both of you.

Winded, you could only manage a yelp, falling back along with the wild hero who portrayed a wide eyed protective rage only to gape at the familiar sight of shaggy brown hair and eyes of emerald green with dusted brown as you all crashed down to the floor below, the other form jumping back in surprise.

Hyrule’s sigh of relief held what could have been mistaken for his soul returning to his form.

“(Name).”

“Rulie-” You were tackled, body almost constricted by his tight hug. “Hyrule- Link-”

“I’m sorry.” He rushed out, his face settled in your hair. “I’m so sorry, I’m sorry we couldn’t stop it-”

“‘S’okay-” You sniffled but Hyrule’s shaking breath stopped you.

“It won’t happen again, I promise.”

“...I lost your dagger, I’m sorry-”

“Don’t be silly, you’re more important than a measly blade.” You felt a tear drop into your hair, “So much more important.”

Your own hand came to gently brush his hair, brown curls engulfing your fingers as you worked to relax the tension out of his body. Your other hand still grasped Wild’s, squeezing gently at the digits to remind him that you hadn’t forgotten his presence, far from it. The reassurance was met with a grateful squeeze back.

“Come, we must go.” Once again you stood, the three of you a tight knit with the heroes still brandishing glinting swords. “Who knows where the Shadow could be-”

“There you are!” Hyrule flinched, turning back the way he came to see Warriors and Twilight jog down the hallway, only stopping once they had finally gotten closer- none looked please. “Traveller we’ll talk later about your selective hearing- Champion, (Name), are you alright?”

The Captain looked relieved but with an air of professionalism around him, standing tall with both his sword and shield pulled at the ready for combat. Twilight wasn’t quite sitting in the same boat- the anxiety blooming into relief at the sight of you but more so Wild, muttering a soft ‘thank the goddess’ under his breath before stalking closer to slap him upside the head.

“No more idiocy.”

Wild’s face showed understanding but his eyes sung a different chorus. “You and I have different definitions of what counts as idiotic.”

“I didn’t mean-”

“As I said, later,” Warriors insisted, turning back, “I saw an exit not much further back, we can meet the others outside and discuss any previous misgivings when we are whole-”

“There you are.”

Ice.

An icy chill filled the air around you as your stomach dropped right into a pit of despair, the hairs on the back of your neck standing with electrifying effort accompanied by the feeling of dread dragging a sharpened claw right up your spine.

You turned slowly in comparison to the heroes' snapping spins, swords and shields at the ready while staring with eyes of venom at the seeping shadows that curled round the corner of a following hallway at this crossroads of sorts. Darkness lurked, light from the hanging torches blown away by a haunting whispering wind as a murky blackness finally came into view with eyes of red and a mouth pulled to show rows of too many teeth.

How Nintendo had reduced Dink to something so puny was beyond you- he was fucking horrifying.

“Ah, and the heroes of Courage too- what a delight.” Too many voices, couldn’t he just choose one? You covered your ears like a frightened child. “Have you come to see the execution?”

“Shut your mouth, evil scum.” Hyrule hissed, “The only execution we’ll be witnessing is yours when I behead you-”

“Oh do quieten down, Hero of Hyrule, your words aren’t as impressive as you think.” Hyrule huffed in anger and the Shadow cackled, “Awh, have I upset you fairy boy?” 

A phantom red sword flew through the air and Dink dodged with only another laugh, rolling with the darkness beneath his form.

“Oh, almost- better luck- hm? Never.”

From behind you, you felt a shift. Just the tiniest bit of movement but still it had you glancing back quizzically to Twilight, his form stiff and slightly…shaking as panicked eyes stayed focused on the monster in front of you all. You weren’t the only one to notice, however, Wild glancing back in slight concern with Warriors stepping closer to his brother in spirit.

Dink noticed too.

And he smiled wider.

“Hero of Twilight.” He cooed, words dripping honey that hissed and bubbled with underlying poison. “Awh, what’s wrong- seems as if you’ve seen a ghost.”

Twilight’s sword shook in a sweating grip. “Shut your mouth-”

“Or maybe you’re just…” The shadows shifted for a moment and you swore you saw the glinting metal of an Iron Knuckle’s helmet staring right back at you. “...scared.”

Twilight’s ears folded back along with his steps, skin paling.

Warriors looked pissed. “Ranch-hand, do not-”

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten you too, captain.”

Once again, Dink changed, yet this time a younger version of the Captain stared back. 

Warrior’s tensed.

No. No you wouldn’t let this happen. No matter your own heart crushing fear you were not about to let this bastard do this to them. Dink could scare you as much as he wanted, threaten you and nearly end your life but you drew the line at the others, you would not let him scare these heroes just like he scared you.

Fucking bastard, using the weakness of others against them.

“I’ll fucking show you…” A muttered growl did not catch his attention, nor did your movement as you leaned down to grab the convenient crumbled brick just a little ways away then stand once again.

You did this lightning fast, not allowing even a moment of hesitation from you or consideration from them as you ditched the slab right at his face.

Surprised chokes left all of them as Dink yelped in pain then cursed, that same demonic growling from earlier leaving him. Despite his body merged in the darkness you could see the blood curl around his fingers as his hands desperately tried to cover the damaged eye that still glared molten scorn right at your figure.

“You litTLE BRAT!” You flinched at the rage but tightened your resolve, standing just before Warriors and Twilight so he would focus on you. “When I get my hands on you again I’ll tear you limb from limb-”

“I don’t think you can.” You were talking nonsense but you didn’t care. “I think you’re too fucking stupid to- I mean I got away once already, whose to say I can’t just do it again?”

You just loved tempting fate, didn’t you? Tempting her and the devil that she tangoed with as Dink’s pupils shrunk in a frenzied rage while his shadows whipped around him angrily, searching for something to break- something to destroy. Hyrule and Wild stepped a little closer together, acting as a shield in case those tendrils of shade got too close.

“Watch your tongue before I cut it out-”

This time the phantom sword struck and it struck hard, impaling right into the Shadow’s shoulder with a gorey ‘schlink’ that pinned him to the wall behind him. The monster shrieked, gargling in pain with volumes that raised and dropped, tones that lightened and deepened while his hand, holding his bleeding eye moved instead to grasp at his punctured shoulder. 

There wasn’t much else of the scene to watch when you were thrown over someone’s shoulder and rushed away from it all. You tried turning to count heads and see who had grabbed you so quickly but when the sound of rushing footsteps caught your attention. You stared back at Dink who had sunken into the shadows that chased after you all, the light from the torches vanishing as the darkness caved in on the corridor and filled it with nothing but pitch black.

You could only see his eyes.

Haunting, raging eyes as they chased the five of you, stealing the solace of the light to take over with his gloom.

You were hypnotised by the morbid spectacle.

It was fast.

Really fast.

A quick turn almost gave you whiplash but you still watched him run, dementated as he slammed into the wall before shaking off his daze and crawling like a demon against the floor. Still no body, only shadow as you got closer and closer to a large brightness that hung behind you.

“Almost there!”

“Is it still chasing us!?”

“Dear Hylia in heaven-”

You felt its hatred. You felt its  wrath. You felt its bloodlust and you felt your own fear crawling back down your spine. You imagined those scenes in horror movies, the eldritch abomination scrambling over itself as it frantically chased the poor victim through those darkened scenes- this is what it felt like. This was the dread those innocent people experienced. 

You watched helplessly as claws reached out to grab you, infernal cursing catching your ears as its hand loosely missed your saviour’s shirt-

Light almost blinded you as you entered the outside world. The sun glaring down on your small group as they skidded to a stop just before falling right off a collapsing cliff side.

They turned instantly, swords still pulled and ready to fight, your body falling off the shoulder of Hyrule who looked murderous as he kept his sword pointed towards Dink.

The Shadow’s darkness took up the whole of the doorway, twitching and humming with a putrid magic as Dink just stood there. Watching you all with crimson eyes, with black ooze still dripping from one of his sockets along with the hole in his shoulder, he did nothing. Made no move, made no sound, the only thing he did was stare- right at you, centre of the group, burning and hate filled.

You didn’t understand why he didn’t move closer after all he did not burn in the sun. However, maybe the light still had an affect, the monster was a shadow after all and the two did not mix well- maybe this applied to Dink also?

Maybe four was too big of a crowd in the shine of the afternoon sun.

“Well!? What are you waiting for?!” Wild hissed, walking forward only to be grabbed by Twilight. “Fight us, monster!”

Dink’s glare moved to Wild, still just as sinister and vile before he turned back to the darkness and left you at that, standing there and viewing the ordeal with a growing confusion.

Was that…really it?

“Why did it just-”

“Doesn’t matter.” A soberness washed over Warriors, his eyebrows pinching. “If we are to fight him we need the Master Sword, let us return to the group-”

Hyrule’s face was plastered in disbelief. “And just leave that thing there!? It could get away-”

“What would you have us do, traveller!?” The captain looked frazzled, hair messy and eyes wild in contrast to his usual pristine presentation- Dink’s little trick must have gotten to him worse than you had expected. “The Shadow does not die by natural steel, the sword is our only hope!”

Wild looked just as desperate as Hyrule, spinning in Twilight’s grip “So we just leave the beast!? No, if one of us were to return to the others and bring them here-”

“If the beast is still watching us it would be sure to attack if we were alone.” Twilight tightened his hand, a reflex with the champion. “We return to the others whole and discuss a plan.”

“We need to attack while we still have him here!”

An argument bloomed with the men, voices raising along with hands waving but it slowly muffled out the longer that you stood there, eyes still focused on that shaded hallway of trickery and pain.

You had almost died.

The words echoed around your head like a siren in the foggy night, screeching, painful, and anxiety inducing as it clawed at the inner walls of your mind. Scratched in by bloodied fingers of a madman, his fingertips soaked with crimson as he muttered the words like a cruel mantra.

“Dead. Death,” He sung, with a jolly preen, his eyes bloodshot with a lust for pain. “Dying. Suffering. Murdered. Brutalised. Slain. Killed.”

Your breaths became pants. Your pants became chokes. Your chokes became hyperventilating as tears streamed down your face. Clutching desperately at your chest, you frantically heaved for air as your knees buckled beneath you and you fell to the earth below. You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t speak, only cry and shake as you tried forcing sound to leave you. A whimper. A moan. A word. Hell, a laugh. Yet nothing seemed to break free.

Digging your nails into the position where your  heart pounded, you twisted your hand in a motion, attempting to tear it out. It didn’t work, it wasn’t doing its damn job- better it laid in the dirt with the insects than inside you if it would only serve to be damaged goods.

Nonetheless, you finally managed something. Moments of struggling dragged into hours of torture finally minimalised when you sucked in a massive portion of air, body arching from the pain as you forced it into your lungs.

And you screamed.

Ears ringing as it progressed from a small yell to a blood-curdling wail, voice refusing to break as you tore your throat to let out everything you had bottled down in that last horrible hour.

It had only been an hour.

Your head slammed against the dirt, body curling into itself as you felt your throat grow raw from the excessive shriek. A violent reaction, a bubble ran up your throat and you gagged, pushing yourself higher and hurling your digested breakfast all over the ground, scrunching your watering eyes shut in an effort to avoid the scene of acid and chunks sullying the earth.

Hands reached you, your name being called but it didn’t stop the repeat of gags and sobs.

Your body finally gave out.

[flowerslut]

Writers ask: 9, 17 and 30, please!!

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year?

jalice jalice jalice baby!! my one and only of this decade jasper and alice!! my dears my darlings my silly rabbits my cinnamon apples!!!!! love those two!!!! obsessed with those two!!!! can't get enough of them!!! I also don't think I've written any other pairing in at least a few years lmfao i am a Jalice Girlie til I die 😌

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

it's a very close tie between one fell swoop!jasper and roots!maria. and I think I really have to hand it to maria because I'm convinced she's the only reason I was so successful with this years nanowrimo attempt. her chapters quite literally just FELL out of my brain.... my beloved.....

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year?

hm this is pretty tough. I think I'm pretty surprised/pleased with my ability to switch gears, pump the breaks, and actually write a draft for once in my damn life. idk if any of y'all know this but I've never in my life written a 'first draft' of any of my fics (that's excluding me re-writing old found fic like CotN and one fell swoop). my version of editing is just proofreading for spelling errors and missing punctuation and even then I absolutely miss the mark sometimes

i'm serious though. go look at my Ao3. every single fanfic on there is both the first and final draft. the entire cotn series. every since one shot. 100% of my twilight fanfic. it goes straight from brain to laptop, gets proofread half-heartedly, and then goes onto the world wide web, baby! (if you say 'we can tell' I will eat your face with or without the influence of bath salts so proceed carefully.) i'm not necessarily proud of this, since I know writing and working on drafts is an important part of the process, but it's how I've always written fic! vibes turn to daydreams and then whatever words come out first are most likely the ones you guys get to read. so i'm.... working on it....

now that I'm looking to take my writing more seriously after almost 17 years of fic writing, this year has been the first time in my life I've followed the "put it on paper and get your shitty rough draft done" mindset. and I'm not going to lie. I hate it. I hate when things don't come out of my brain perfectly. I hate when I reread what I've written and find patterns that I don't want to be there. I'm glad to be doing it because I know it's going to make me a more self-aware and better writer in the long run, but god I hate it lmfaoooooo 🙈🙈🙈

ao3 wrapped — writer’s edition

[jakeowen]

ok now that you've turned your inbox on: book meme, multiples of 8

yeah guys i for sure embarrassed myself by asking y'all to ask me questions with my inbox off but okay.

8. a book that is close to your heart i am, in this situation only, going to cite a kid's book because awake and dreaming by kit pearson shaped me! i think i probably read it when i was 9 or 10, which is the age of the protagonist and i don't know if anyone else in the world read this weird canadian kids book about a little girl experiencing the magic of the ghost of a writer, but it is literally the reason i am who i am today and i still have my original copy even though the covers fell off and it's in terrible shape.

16. a book you'd recommend to your younger self oof. i think if i'd read the edible woman by margaret atwood as a teenager, it would have made me ask myself so many important questions that i didn't get around to asking until much later than i would have wished.

24. a book on your nightstand quite honestly, the book on my nightstand right now is the same copy of to white folks who teach in the hood that my former boss lent me almost two years ago and i still have not finished because while i find it very interesting and relevant, it's hard to be reminded of work in my free time.

32. your favourite nonfiction novel i don't think i've read a lot of nonfiction novels actually. the closest thing i can think of is anna deavere smith's twilight: los angeles 1992 which i never saw, only read, so functioned as something of a novel to me rather than documentary theater as it was conceived (just saw that there's an episode of great performances so that's one thing i'm doing this weekend).

40. a book with a black cover ummmm i'm scanning my bookshelves and i guess my sister, the serial killer by oyinkan braithwaite. i gotta reread that one, i took it down in one sitting and have a very limited memory of it except that it was great.

48. your favourite sci-fi novel yowzers. i actually don't like sci-fi at all, which surprises a lot of people because i love science and i love fiction but i just am not interested in science fiction...i'm sure there's probably some that i would like, but i simply have not found it or sought it out. i guess ishiguro kinda counts as sci fi, which is why i don't ever really enjoy his work despite appreciating the craft i guess, but i'll say never let me go because i am loathe to not have an answer.

56. a book that features an animal in the title wow i gotta expand the types of titles i read, apparently, because my options here are limited. i guess i'm gonna go with all the pretty horses, which i'm fairly certain i finished at some point, but definitely stopped and started a lot because my dad insisted i read cormac mccarthy and like, it's good and it's interesting but there are simply no women and how is a book supposed to hold my interest with no women

64. a book with a grey cover long bright river by liz moore. this was in the "lit lover's basket" that i won in my local library's summer reading program last year, and it was not the kind of thing i would have picked up on my own, but it was basically like if mare of easttown was marginally less interesting and about twin sisters. solid read, not memorable or outstanding.

72. a book with a gorgeous cover damn all the cover questions lmao. most of the books i own have very plain covers, but i guess blood, tin, straw, which is a poetry collection by sharon olds. she's very hit-or-miss for me. i loved the death of marilyn monroe so much that i impulse-bought this collection and i think of all the poems in it i latched onto maybe one or two more? but oh boy when they hit you they hit you and actually i don't think i've read it since i was too young for it. hmmm maybe i'll try again.

80. a book that reminds you of a loved one i feel like this is probably supposed to be deep and like, about the themes, but my answer is not particularly thematic, it's the margot affair by sanaë lemoine, which reminds me of (guess who)@williamfbuckley because once she sent me a care package of 4 books, and while they were all VERY good picks (also not to aggrandize you too much, but you are an incredible book recommender bc you actually focus on what i would like to read and not just what you would like to recommend), this one to me is like an a+ choice, both exactly the kind of book she would love and recommend and exactly the kind of book i would love and read.

88. a book that made you angry weird pic but the answer is the girl from widow hills by megan miranda. i picked it up from the library on a lark and i was so frustrated and confused by The Big Twist (which was like, interesting and cool plot-wise but had no emotional payout because the groundwork for it simply was not laid and it easily could have been) that i immediately read like 5 more megan miranda books to see if she's a good writer or not. like 3 of them have that exact same thing happen, so i still don't fucking know.

96. a book with a restaurant/food setting wow i have read surprisingly few of these, which is strange given my interests. if beer counts as food, i'll say the lager queen of minnesota by j. ryan stradal, which was cool bc it was about my favorite topics: generations of women and also beer. but if beer doesn't, then i guess i'll say secrets of the tsil cafe by thomas fox averill , which is a book i got free at a young writer's conference in high school because the organizer was related to the author, and it was...fine. i really liked the parts about food but not the rest of it.

104. a fluffy, sweet read i was going to say "i don't read those" but lately i've been listening to romance audiobooks on long drives, and meg cabot's no judgments was a DELIGHT because, well, meg cabot. if you like meg cabot and/or animals and/or strong men who can protect spunky independent women from literal hurricanes then well, have some wine and read no judgments.

112. a book about war i don't think i've chosen to read a book about war since i stopped being assigned them in high school, but all quiet on the western front really did fuck, you guys.

120. a book about childhood friends another brooklyn by jacqueline woodson. i read this in one or two sittings and don't remember the details super well, which is kind of the point, it's about the ways we remember things ("this is memory") and they blur together and childhood friends aren't forever but they are forever in you. HIGHLY recommend

128. a book that made you hungry one of my favorite books ever is this weird book of essays called you and i eat the same: on the countless ways food and cooking connect us to one another. it was put out by MAD which is a food science/business organization in denmark and it's sooo good, it's got everything. there's an incredible essay about mennonite dairy communities in mexico, there's a really cool story about a guy who travels scandanavia finding various hyperspecific native foods for a restaurant, and then there's also like, lists of all the different foods across the world that can be described as "meat wrapped in flatbread" and "meat cooked in leaves." my sister got it for me for christmas in 2018 when she asked what i wanted and i said "nonfiction about food and foodways" and boy oh boy did she hit the mark on this one. i think everyone who is at all interested in food as a concept should read this book :)