#it's almost entirely an irl problem and im CERTAIN it comes from the countless people in my life who liked nothing more than
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i like to write about trust issues of all kinds but especially the kind that are my trust issues, projected
#rambling time but like. i make friends easy enough! it can be hard cause Autism but it HAPPENS. however#if you tell me something i just wont believe you. 'i like your art' haha why are you lying.#'i listen to that band too' i wont REFUTE you because thats rude but like... the stuff i listen to is stupid lol? why would anyone like it?#'i watched that show all the time its still one of my favourites' yeah sure okay#it's almost entirely an irl problem and im CERTAIN it comes from the countless people in my life who liked nothing more than#making me feel like shit for the things i did and liked#i dont believe my cousin on anything anymore. not one fucking thing. it just doesnt happen#it can be as simple as 'oh i follow that tiktoker' HAHAHAHA SURE#i KNOW its true#but it feels like a lie#because the default state of the first decade-plus of my life was 'people agree. but behind your back they're making fun of you'#anyway one of my favourite things to write is characters who have trust issues in the way i do..#to be dramatic its a sort of#'i'll hand you my heart but dont expect me to believe that when you do the same its real. its not. it's just a very good copy'#this is definitely an unhealthy mindset but hey! i cope! like this! watch! *writes characters just like that who learn not to be*#writblr#writeblr#nico yells into the void
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