#it's about my ex/Best friend and their mushroom foraging

[seasonallyappropriategoth]

'darling i love you, you're going to die'

My new book

[sadisthetic]

hi. this is my dnd character for toonkind dnd that i first made 7 years ago that ive recycled twice now because i wanted to finally play an ongoing campaign with him. for his third life, not only did i give him a design update, hes also has undergone a MAJOR overhaul in terms of personality and backstory tho i kept some bare basics the same (human ranger with urchin background who LOVES swords and knifes A LOT. and that he has an ambiguous age) the overhaul includes the isekai. and that hes a cunt now. but hes funnier now too lol.

im adding some more details and trivia about him under the readmore

so like if it isnt obvious the double isekai is meant to mirror the fact that i fucking played with him in 3 separate campaigns now. its part of him metatextually now lol. he was such a different guy tho. an EXTREMELY LOYAL guy. now hes significantly more selfish. and rude as hell. but hes not that to be mean or malicious. hes actually a pretty nice guy hes just extremely inconsiderate bc he prioritizes his own wellbeing most of the time. its how he had to grow up

copy pasting this tweet i wrote about him "blade at 15 was a guy that shouldve been playing halo while drinking monster but instead hes a guy stealing apples and eating mushrooms off tree bark. miraculously few instances of poisoning all things considered"

he wouldve been a fucking gamer otaku fr. he got isekaied in the mid 2000s and as a kid he fucking LOVED watching dragonball on saturday mornings. if he got to be a teen on earth, he would eventually found the anime and gaming subcommunities online BUT ALAS. he grew up trying to catch fish with his bare hands. or at least he did until he gave up quick and ate weeds.

also. despite the hardships. hes like. fine? somethings wrong with him. but its not trauma. he didnt mourn his parents much although its not like he couldve done anything with their freshly isekaied corpses when immediately hes being chased by fucking beasts. its okay they were like b-tier parents. (hes definitely not a normal person.)

he wandered the woods trying his best to survive alone and in spite of everything trying to kill him (including the shit he ate...) he ended up in a nearby(?) town and things got a bit easier after that. because he could fucking steal to eat real food now. he stayed in the woods on the outskirts of town bc no one showed grace to a thief and just dropped in every so often to swipe shit. steadily he learned forage (through sheer trial and error)

he was highkey a menace. but eventually in his late teens, a traveling party gave him an idea to like fucking. get a job. as something. he managed to make it work as a ranger/guide for hire

he fucking loves booze. he absolutely underage drank. when he could steal it. and later pay for it. and also even though he could pay for things as an adult, he still steals shit if he thinks he can get away w it (he has an absurdly (or at least pretty) high sleight of hand stat)

before he got isekai'd a second time, went through a CATASTROPHIC DIVORCE with an elf woman who he met in an expedition party who became enamored with him after he saved her life. the uh. fallout happened bc blade didnt realize (and still hasnt realized) that hes kinda aro (fundamentally did not understand her romantic intentions and thought she was just a friend wanted to hang out w him a lot. those were dates.) and his ex didnt realize how onesided it was bc she was so love with him. geez.

also. he was from arizona. hes half white half mexican. but with all the time spent not speaking spanish in a different fucking world, it made any spanish speaking skills he had atrophy to hell. it happens and it was bound to happen bc he was so young and had like no reason or opportunity to practice.

also he chose his name. he hated his lame ass name so much he was like "wait. i dont have to use it anymore." but he was 13 fucking years old. anyways he thought blade sounded cool for a name. knifedad happened later when he got his first knife. he still had a bad naming sense. he was 14.

also although his ethics are kinda wack, whats important to note is that he ultimately doesnt want anyone to like. die. its like his policy. save people that he can while trying his best to not die himself

he also has a soft spot for kids. whether hed bc a good dad is debatable but like. i think hed be a nice one

most important note: his longsword is named Darla, his dagger is named Samantha, the knife in his pack is named Nicky, and his newly acquired strange glowy sword is named lucia, and he wants a cool greatsword very very very fucking bad

i drew him in his under clothing also so that i could have a better sense for his body type when i designed his new outfit im adding it here too. he has a shitton of scars bc hes the type that pisses ppl off that they wanna shank him and also he routinely eats shit a lot. a lot of the scars in this sketch are pretty random except for one specific injury for a certain backstory event i have in mind

[noirandchocolate]

And now because my bi ass couldn’t NOT--

Why I Wouldn’t Romance the Stardew Bachelorettes

Maru--Too young for me.  Electrocuted me (I know it was an accident but still).  She and her dad would fight me for all strawberries everywhere.  Loves radioactive bars as a gift and this worries me.  Hates honey, and uh my farm is Honeybee Farm.

Abigail--Too young for me.  Implied she was going to eat a quartz I gave her.  Later told me her dad served a pepper I sold at the store and that it ‘tasted like crap.’  Girl, what is your diet?  Sucks at video games even more than I do.

Haley--Too young for me.  Gave off some mean girl vibes when we first met, like I couldn’t tell if she was complimenting my face or not when she asked if I was ‘even wearing any makeup.’  Says Emily is weird.  Did not like to do chores ever, and was kind of childish about it.  

Penny--Would almost certainly make me stop drinking alcohol (understandable, but like, sometimes I want to do that?).  Made it kind of weird by asking if I wanted kids then saying she was ‘glad to hear it’ when I said yes (video game kids not IRL ones obv); this is weird because we’re like...friends?  Penny?  What stakes do you have in this decision?  May want to leave Pelican Town if she can, so is it okay for me to keep her there?

Leah--Has an ex who showed up to her art show and just stood in the distance and fumed; I do not want to be stalked and/or stabbed by some jealous weirdo please.  HATES PIZZA.

Emily--If I was having sufficiently bad Brain Bullshit and she recommended meditation or a crystal I might snap and then feel horrible afterward because I know she means well.  I think parrots are cool but I don’t know if I’d be a good parrot parent.

Why I Love the Stardew Bachelorettes

Maru--Space!  She showed me her telescope and has no problem talking about her science interests.  Very passionate about this stuff and is even inventing new things!  Loves her family.  Manages to hold down a part-time job as a nurse/receptionist and study and do personal projects.  I respect this hardworking young lady and I would like to be her non-creepy grownup friend!

Abigail--Purple.  Likes nature and exploring for all kinds of things from creatures to treasures.  Wants to be Strong and Brave but also has sympathy for monsters.  A musician.  I enjoy her aesthetic.  Said, ‘The birds were happily chirping today. They're too simple to understand the future,’ to me, which sent me into orbit.  Would probably do cosplay with me.  Named her guinea pig ‘David’ which again, I am dead.  Next best thing to being able to romance Wizard.  We should have a séance or something!

Haley--Makes a Connecticut Malfina ^o^ face when I give her sunflowers.  Like Alex, gets friendlier as time goes on and tries to expand her world and not be so superficial.  Talks about her great-grandma a lot which is sweet.  Has a photography hobby which is fun and could lead to opportunities!  Is actually pretty generous and donates her extra clothes to charity.  Loves flowers, and stops getting upset about getting dirty, so maybe she’d like to garden together!

Penny--Was happy if I gave her dandelions early on when I had no money for real gifts.  Really loves the kids in the village; the fact she wants to teach them until they get old enough for whatever formal schooling is available is so admirable.  Has this wistful energy where I just want to make her smile. Would be great to have a book club or read out loud with.  

Leah--Art girl (I have an art girlfriend IRL so)!  Actually likes mushrooms!  Is another one who lets me give her foraged stuff from the ground.  Healthy outdoorsy person so could help me with stuff around the farm and with foraging too.  Bought a pepper of mine from Pierre and told me she liked it!  Actually wants to be in Stardew Valley appreciating nature, so I feel like she’d be happy on my farm.  Decorates her house really pretty each season.  Seems fairly level-headed and like she’d have practical solutions and good advice if I had a shitty day; she even says to come see her if I need someone to talk to.  I wanna have a wine and cheese plate with her and talk about our lives.

Emily--Honestly just like a really genuinely sweet and kind person.  Has good words to say about practically everyone in town and seems to be on friendly terms with all.  Loves animals and also talks about being friends with them (she says bees are her special friends and I’m like <3 <3).  Lets me use her sewing machine and dyes for free.  Is such a good dancer it opened my third eye.  Was friendly to me from the start and encouraged my farming and even said she’d like to help!  Has a creative hobby and would probably make me really nice clothes if I asked.  Just like.  I love her she’s my best friend.

I’ve had this in drafts for like a week but now I have said what needs to be said about all these marriage candidates, haha.

[erosofthepen]

I had no idea Clara was an OC! Could I learn a little bit more about her? :D

A chance to talk about my oc? ABSOLUTELY! (all the links are for character overviews i’ve written)

Okay, Clara is a half-breed, daughter of Dwalin son of Fundin and Mirabelle Took. She was an accident. Not intended at all. A result of a summer fling. Dwalin had left back to the blue mountains long before Mirabelle figured out she was pregnant. Mirabelle was incredibly independent and stubborn about the whole thing, and refused to write to Dwalin and tell him. She died giving birth, so little Clara lived in Tuckborough until she was 33, because Belladonna (who had been helping out the most) had a family of her own now and knew Clara needed a more stable home. 

So imagine Dwalin’s shock when he gets a letter from his ex-lovers sister that he has had a child for over three decades and that the child now needed a home. 

Of course, Dwalin is honorable (he would’ve taken charge of Clara ages ago if he had known), and came to the Shire to take Clara back to the Blue Mountains.

Clara made a home there, with Fili and Kili as her best friends, and Dwalin (he ends up having the biggest soft spot for her, and she uses that to her advantage), Balin, and Dís all acting as her parents. Life was good.

Until she was kidnapped and sold into child labor in Bree.

There, she made unusual friends with a half-elf from Rhûn named Athenir, who was in the same predicament she was in. He outgrew her in maturity quickly, though not in age, so they have a weird sometimes-im-the-older-sibling-sometimes-youre-the-older-sibling relationship. They were eventually rescued by a ranger named Rantin, who took them to Fornost to train them. He did try bringing Clara back to the Blue Mountains, but she found her old village abandoned, with no sign of what happened. So she returned to Fornost and trained as a Ranger for many years, until she happened to be foraging for mushrooms outside of Bree at the same time Kili and Fili were hunting for the company...

I have so so so much written for Clara and my other ocs, i just need to organize it and post it lol. She goes through so much shit, the quest for erebor and bofta aren’t even close to the climax of her story, they’re only a plot point to get her reunited with her old friends and family. 

She’s been evolving over the years (originally, she was the daughter of Beorn and best friends with Legolas lol), but now i have her into a form that i feel best writing her in. 

Heres links to other oc’s in my story that i didn’t mention here: Brenior, Adana, Nika