#it's a very fun poem tbh i love the second last line especially

[jianghuchild]

Song of a Peach Blossom Cottage

by Tang Bohu, trans. M

In the peach blossom dock is a peach blossom cottage,

In the beach blossom cottage is a peach blossom fairy.

The peach blossom fairy plants peach trees,

Then he picks the peach blossoms to sell for wine money.

When sober he sits before the flowers,

When drunk he sleeps beneath the blossoms.

He is half sober, half drunk, day after day,

Flowers fall, flowers bloom, year after year.

I should rather die old between flower and drink,

Rather than bend waist before chariot and horse.

Car's dust and horse's hooves are the interest of the noble,

Wine cup and flower stem are the fortune of the lowly.

Comparing the rich to the poor,

One is on earth, the other in the sky.

Comparing flower and wine to cart and horse,

He gets hard work, I win idleness.

They mock me for my madness,

I mock them for they do not see.

For you see not the graves of your heroes,

And flowerless, wineless, you toil away.

桃花庵歌

【明】唐伯虎

桃花坞里桃花庵，桃花庵里桃花仙。

桃花仙人种桃树，又摘桃花换酒钱。

酒醒只来花前坐，酒醉还来花下眠。

半醒半醉日复日，花落花开年复年。

但愿老死花酒间，不愿鞠躬车马前。

车尘马足贵者趣，酒盏花枝贫者缘。

若将富贵比贫贱，一在平地一在天。

若将花酒比车马，他得驱驰我得闲。

他人笑我忒疯癫，我笑他人看不穿。

不见五陵豪杰墓，无花无酒锄做田。

[hard-core-super-star]

damn, I was hoping you'd admit that. so this was also you just throwing random words together in hopes they made sense? 🤔

I can't believe it either... HOWEVER, it was the first and last time you got a star when you were being a little brat about it. don't lose the star, it took me a while to find it kdhwka 🤐 phew, I'm glad you didn't even mention the name of the book or make other recommendations, I won't take note and bring some kind of update when I can see about it better. well, as long as we don't go back to talking about what we definitely weren't talking about, then I think things are totally fine. and I'm not going to say that this thing about not making literal sense, but the feelings being there is something even more impactful due to the fact that you can reach a level of understanding and even greater interpretation due to the fact that these feelings - despite being the focus - continues between the lines with synonyms and comparisons.

your torturous reminder is so funny sorry- picture after picture and she still by your side huh?

I'm curious to know what would have happened if I hadn't understood 😶

I like that you have cool opinions and throw them into your fics, not exactly just about that, but how you see the characters (Kate being the biggest example like you just said). It's exactly at this moment when I think you would be super in favor of Shrek's speech about people being like onions, full of layers. okay, your turn to share another thought about Kate even though you already do this when you write.

– 🌟

nope, you're not getting that out of me that easily. yup, that's how it works. especially that message since it was the first thing i wrote when i woke up lmao. [i did check my phone at 4am and read the messages but i fell back asleep before i could even think about replying so...do with that information what you will]

aw, i think you're a little soft on me 👀 i won't lose it, promise. can't risk you not wanting to give me another one later. i know, it's such a relief none of those things ever happened, imagine the chaos bringing it up would cause. and since we're not talking about it i definitely won't go read some more poems and bring them up to you, not at all. i'm so glad you didn't expand on my point about feelings being the focus because it's not like that's exactly what i try to do in all my fics because i think it's so much more impactful. i also won't admit i can't come up with anything to add because i love the way you didn't phrase that sentence. and i won't admit reading dickinson is what made me try to go above and beyond with simple yet impactful imagery.

excuse you, it's not funny, it's in fact very torturous. especially when it's an old picture of her and my heart stops for a second or two until i remember i'm supposed to be mad at her.

probably nothing except me being sad about it, tbh. unfortunately, now there'll be nothing to stop me from bringing emily dickinson up even more.

i wouldn't say my opinions are cool, i just think about them a lot because that's the way i am. i think adding those little thoughts/opinions is what makes writing fun and what can make a fic stand out because imagine how boring it would be if kate was just a one-dimensional being who just went along with the plot. it would be awful. and yes, you're right, i'm a sucker for that comparison lmao. [but only in spanish because Shrek is funnier in spanish, argue with the wall] i have so many thoughts all of the time but right now all i can think about is how alone she truly is and how that impacts how loyal and devoted she is to the people around her. like, we know she's traumatized af because of her dad's death, she's severely attached to her mom despite how damaging that relationship can be, and she hella admires clint from afar until the events of hawkeye. we never hear anything about her having other family members or friends or anything at all. i know a lot of people headcanon kate as being popular or a jock and stuff but like...idk, sometimes i can't see it. i don't know where i was going with this but those are my shuffled cards, now it's your turn to complete the deck.

[maiji]

Thoughts on Grasses of Remembrance (The Tale of Genji through its poetry)

Finally had some time this weekend to sit down with A Waka Anthology, Volume 2: Grasses of Remembrance Part B by Edwin A. Cranston. This book is the last in an impressive and intimidating collection translating a number of major classical poetry anthologies. It’s basically a speedrun through Tale of Genji (if such a thing were possible) filtered through all 795 waka poems written or uttered by the characters over the course of the novel.

Poetry was a Really Big Deal during the Heian era. If you were an aristocrat, not only were you expected to compose decent poetry, you had to be able to do it off-the-cuff appropriate to the occasion. AND to do this properly, you were expected to be able to recognize and respond cleverly to references to a ton of other existing classic poems from memory that people would just mention casually in conversation or writing (kinda like how people quote the Simpsons today lol). This was a prime marker of how intelligent/competent and - no joke - how sexy you were. So not surprisingly, these poems are extremely important to the development of character interactions and themes in the Tale of Genji which has a lot of romance and relationship plotlines. 

However. Translating Heian era Japanese into modern Japanese is already challenging. Rendering Heian era Japanese waka poetry into modern English is, as you might imagine, harder for a bunch of reasons. Considering how dense the actual novel already is, it’s super easy to gloss over the poetry, and some modern translations simply integrate the basic intent of the poems right into the main text/dialogue.

I was really interested in finding something specifically focusing on and analyzing the poetry, and this book appeared to fit the bill.

Short review: IT TOTALLY DOES. If you’re into Tale of Genji, Heian era, classical Japanese history, classical Japanese literature, Japanese poetry, or just love reading translators articulating eloquently while sassing characters or flailing through linguistic complexities, I RECOMMEND THIS BOOK

Long review: blah blah blah thoughts follows, including some quotes/poem for reference.

The book starts with a quick 2 page intro setting the context of the Tale of Genji, then goes straight into the poems. TBH I personally found it more flowery and redundant than necessary (it repeats a few poems that are then explained later). But it’s only 2 pages, we’ll live.

Then, the poems. For every poem (or poems, in the case of an exchange - sometimes a flurry of them with multiple characters speaking or dashing letters off to each other) there’s an intro and summary of context followed by an analysis, including notes on meaning, narrator and character intent, structure, symbols and wordplay. The original Japanese is included in romaji alongside the English translation. The commentary also flags known references to other classic poems (WITH those poems in-line! This is awesome because I don’t have the rest of these books!), and even mentions poem and folk song quotations from the rest of the novel where the characters have not composed new poetry, but are reciting other existing known pieces.

Overall, I have only three real “warnings” about Grasses of Remembrance Vol 2b:

1) It’s very academic and flowery in tone. If you’re not used to it, it can be hard to read. But then again, if you’re not willing to get past that, how are you reading Tale of Genji? lol. In any case, I personally thought the commentary was a lot of fun. Cranston definitely has opinions and can get pretty sarcastic in places, which I found hilarious. Here are a few sample quotes:

“Tamakazura has remarked to herself how superior the Emperor [Reizei] was in looks to all the courtiers in his train (It is a principle with this author that superior people be dashingly handsome or ravishingly beautiful).” 

“The ruefully witty poems exchanged between Yugiri and To no Naishi [Koremitsu’s daughter, the Gosechi Dancer] are rather more to my taste than the soggy ones Yugiri and Kumoi no Kari exchanged on their wedding night. Might it be the case that a totally sanctioned relationship is literarily uninspiring?”

“The old lady reaches for the melodramatic ultimate and dies just as Yugiri’s letter arrives.”

The overall effect is like an exceedingly well-educated, gossipy and sassy ride through the entire novel hahaha. 

2) Minor typos. I noticed some speckled throughout the text every so often (e.g., Tamakazura being rendered Takakazura, Akashi as Asashi, instances of accidental extra letters, etc.). It was pretty clear what the correct spelling was supposed to be, and TBH considering this is the last of a huge-ass series of over 1300 pages I think it’s forgiveable. Maybe a few that spell-check should have caught, but oh well.

3) This book is NOT CHEAP. As I mentioned in a previous post, not only did I not buy the entire collection, I didn’t even buy a complete Volume 2 - I only bought the last half of the second volume lmao. And the Tale of Genji translations are only HALF of this half of a book. The rest is actually the footnotes, appendices, notes to poems, glossary, bibliography and indices (including indices for every poem by author and by first line) for this beast of a translation/compilation project. This includes a lot of additional commentary and other poems and makes for pretty interesting reading itself, even without the rest of the volumes/parts. The price can definitely be scary and an issue for a lot of people, so if you’re interested in it, I suggest try checking it out at your library or on Google Books first. (In fact, Google Books is how I learned of this book in the first place.)

For me, the depth of insight for the poems was fantastic. It gave me a lot more appreciation for the scenes, including the mental state of the characters, plus a million more symbols, metaphors and ideas for my own creative works like the Genjimonogatari illustration series, North Bound and other original stuff. 

It also clarified several fuzzy translation questions I had that relied on specific knowledge of Heian culture and history/evolution of the use of the language and wasn’t easily found in Google searches or online language resources. And even if you’re already familiar with common allusions, metaphors and puns/homophones in Japanese poetry, it’s still helpful to see them all summarized. And sometimes lamented by the book’s author too. SO MANY PONIES EATING GRASS. SO MANY PINES. Especially the pines. (It IS an amazing pun though, especially because it works in both English and Japanese. Pine [tree] -> to pine, matsu/pine tree -> matsu/to wait)

In term of the actual translations themselves, you may still find them coming off a bit roundabout in some cases when comparing to the original Japanese. But overall I find Cranston’s translations more direct/flavourful than how they were rendered in the Tyler translation, partly because of how Tyler chose to juggle his set of translator’s challenges for rendering not only meaning but also more technical aspects of the poetic form. So the imagery ends up being, to me, a lot more vivid. The overall effect usually ends up more colourful, more emotional, more erotic, more cutting, more entertaining, and whatnot. 

For example, Kashiwagi’s suitor’s poem in the Kocho/Butterflies chapter. When reading the novel, I was like, uh-huh, yah, OK. When I read it here, I was like whoa, dude, that’s a little intense lol. Cranston’s translation amps up the connotation of the heat of the water based on the rest of the line. For comparison:

(The original non-romaji Japanese in the samples following are thanks to the Japanese Text Initiative from the University of Virginia Library Etext Centre and the University of Pittsburgh East Asian Library. Their Tale of Genji page has a FREAKING AMAZING side-by-side comparison of the novel in original Japanese, modern Japanese and romaji. Bless them and the people who had to organize and wrangle that text together.)

Original Japanese: 思ふとも君は知らじなわきかへり 岩漏る水に色し見えねば Omou to mo / Kimi wa shiraji na / Wakikaeri Iwa moru misu ni / Iro shi mieneba

Tyler version: You can hardly know that my thoughts are all of you, for the stealthy spring welling from the rocks leaves no colour to be seen.

Cranston version: Hardly can you know / Of the longing that I feel, / For the boiling wave / Is merely colorless water / As it drains away from the rock.

Here’s another example. Oigimi (Agemaki in the book, as Cranston used Wayley’s names for the sisters) telling Kaoru that he’s the only one who’s been actually visiting them and Kaoru is like all riiiight :Db! From Shii ga Moto / Beneath the Oak chapter:

Oigimi’s poem 雪深き山のかけはし君ならで またふみかよふ跡を見ぬかな Yuki fukaki / Yama no kakehashi / Kimi narade Mata fumikayou / Ato o minu kana

Tyler: No brush but your own has marked the steep mountain trails buried deep in snow / with footprints, while back and forth letters go across the hills.

Cranston: Over the bridges / Clinging to the cliffs along / Our deep-snow mountains / No letter-bearer leaves his trace: / Those footprints are yours alone.

Kaoru’s reply つららとぢ駒ふみしだく山川を しるべしがてらまづや渡らむ Tsurara toji / Koma fumishidaku / Yamakawa o Shirube shigatera / Mazu ya wataramu

Tyler: Then let it be I who firsts ride across these hills, though on his mission, / where ice under my horse’s hooves crackles along frozen streams.

Cranston: In the sheets of ice / Covering the mountain streams / My steed crushes / Such letters as form my reason, / My first, to cross as a guide.

In other examples, Genji’s “*throws hands in the air* I give up” poetic reply to Suetsumuhana about how she keeps using Robes of Cathay/Chinese cloak imagery in her poems in the original Japanese alongside the translation cracked me up even more. And one of my favourites is a pair of poems between the future Akashi Empress (as a child) and her birth-mother the Akashi lady. It’s really sad, sweet and cute all at the same time and completely flew under my radar when I read the novel originally.

The poetry analysis for the Uji chapters is especially intriguing. The plot pointedly pits Niou against Kaoru as opposing personalities with particular similarities and contrasts that drive their relationship with each other and with the woman they’re competing for. Especially in the latter half of the story, a lot of their poems, even ones written independently (i.e., to Ukifune), are specifically composed to highlight those attributes and play off of each other.

Finally, it’s also super interesting to see my experience with the narrative changes through the lens of the poems. Obviously, as I mentioned, some things I easily missed without paying as much attention to the poems in between the rest of the story. But also, some prominent characters have very few poems, so the narrative shifts away from them. Meanwhile, a number of otherwise very minor or usually overlooked characters stand out even more, thanks to the fineness, loveliness, resonance, and sometimes just sheer consistent presence of their poetry. This book definitely gave me a lot of additional perspective on the Tale of Genji, and enhanced my appreciation of the novel and the skill behind its crafting!

[fuckyeahclairebeauchamp]

Still reeling from the end of last week's Outlander?

And still reeling even more from the fact that you have to wait a whole extra week to find out what happens next? We feel you. We're there with you. We got you.

Last week's episode obviously ended with Claire finally making it back to her husband in the 1700s after discovering that Jamie had survived and was working as a printer in Edinburgh under the name Alexander Malcolm, quoting poems that hadn't been written yet. But all we got was Claire arriving at the shop, and alerting Jamie to her presence before he passed out cold (a reasonable reaction, tbh).

"There's a pint pot somewhere that goes awry," Sam Heughan told us of the aftermath of the fainting when we caught up with him at the launch of his signature collection for Barbour. "It's gonna be everything…you know, these two people haven't seen each other, and they're going to rediscover that bond, that attraction, that love for each other, but also it's kind of awkward because they haven't seen each other for so long and there's so much riding on it. It's almost like they're teenagers again."

Now, we still have a week and a half to go before we get to see Jamie and Claire be those teenagers again, but there are actually a lot of things you can do in that time to prepare yourself for all the various kinds of catching up Claire and Jamie will have to do.

First, just put this preview on repeat while you prepare your sustenance. Sure, it's as much of a tease as the end of last week's episode was, but all that collar-undoing is still something.

Second, you'll need alcohol. Lucky for all of us, Outlander is not lacking in that department. While whisky is always a go-to where anything Scottish is concerned, the show also has its own line of wines via Lot 18, with fun names like Mo Nighean Donn, Red Jamie, A. Malcolm, La Dame Blanche, Mac Dubh, and even a delightful rosé called Sassenach, all printed on gorgeous labels that will make you almost not even want to open the wine. (Almost.)

And yes friends, you heard us correctly. There is Outlander rosé, and yes it is good, and yes it has a hashtag: #SassenachRoseAllDay

Third, food! There's an official Outlandercookbook, but all you really need are some bannocks and some delicious freshly made (or, you know, bought) butter and you're golden! Bannocks are flat, unleavened oat cakes that Jamie and Claire eat quite a lot of in the book series, and that were traditionally served warm with most meals.

We can also recommend Scottish Tablet (most likely referred to as "crumbly" in season one), but only if you're a REALLY big fan of sugar. It's basically a lot of sugar, butter, condensed milk, and vanilla, and we cannot stress enough how sugary it is. But if you're into that sort of thing, it's delicious.

You should also prepare some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to keep in your pocket for your journey through the stones!

Fourth, now that you've armed yourself with food and drink, you're ready to do some reminiscing. When we asked Heughan what episodes fans should rewatch to prepare, he said, "I think you should watch all the episodes, especially of season three."

While some people may have time to do that, most do not, but there are just a few we'd suggest taking a look back at in preparation. First, the pilot. "Sassenach" showed Claire's first journey through the stones and introduced her to Jamie Fraser for the first time, so it's an obvious choice. Then, just skip on over to episode seven, also known as "The Wedding." You know why.

From there, head over to season two, episode seven, "Faith." It's a hard watch, but a worthwhile one for so many reasons, including its devastating performances. Then take on the season two finale, "Dragonfly in Amber," to watch Claire and Jamie say goodbye.

From there, take Heughan's advice and just rewatch the first five episodes of season three!

"We covered 20 years that Claire and Jamie are apart, and a lot happens to both those characters and it's an amazing season," Heughan told us. "I'm so excited about this season and I know people are enjoying it. And each episode is very different so when we actually finally get to the reunion, there's just…the stakes are even higher. We've learned that these two people have lived lives apart, and yeah, I can't wait for the fans to see the print shop."

When you've finished your season three rewatch (even if you skipped episode four, which even Heughan admitted was going to make a lot of people "angry"), here's some more from Jamie himself about being reunited with Claire on screen and costar Caitriona Balfe off-screen.

"Obviously in the show there are so many fan favorite moments in the books so there's always a pressure to get these right, but of course we knew the print shop was a big one," he says. "We hadn't worked together for a long time so it was nice to have each other back again. There's a different atmosphere, a different dynamic on set, and you know, the makeup trailer was quieter without her. The music was different. But it was really great to be working with her again, and this great sort of dynamic between the two of us. It was fun, and I think viewers will be sort of surprised, but they'll see what they're anticipating."

And finally, an exclusive announcement: If you act fast, you can get your hands on a gorgeous print, printed on the very printer Jamie A. Malcolm uses in the show!

Starting tomorrow, the Outlander Store is selling a very limited edition art print of the gorgeous cover page of the "A. Malcolm" script. It even says "printed by A. Malcolm," so it feels very legit. Here's the official description:

"Own a piece of the print shop from Outlander with this limited-edition ‘A. Malcolm Printer and Bookseller' art print. Hand typeset on the fully-restored 1800's printer in the actual print shop set, as seen in Season 3 of Outlander: The Series, this beautiful and framed print recreates the ‘A. Malcolm by Matthew B. Roberts' cover page on handmade, archival 80gsm paper (the approximate equivalent of 70 lb. text weight paper). Twenty-five of these unique hand numbered prints were created during production of Season 3 and 20 of these prints are available now for you to showcase in your Outlander collection. Available exclusively at www.outlanderstore.com."

[lyricanalysis]

the start of vices & virtues

hi. back at it again with an analysis nobody asked for. so today, folks, we’re doing it on ballad of mona lisa and this one was a lot of fun, but so are all of them. whatever.

now, chronologically, this one is known to be the first song written for all of v&v. this song, according to wiki, was written after pretty. odd. was released but before they had toured so it’s old. now, that’s just important to how i’m phrasing all of this, knowing the timeline. (aka, this is before whatever happened in cape town).

before we start, we’re going to talk about the title right quick. so the definition of ballad is: a poem or song narrating a story in short stanzas. so really, this if just a fancy way of saying that this song is a story about mona lisa. now, the thing that stumped me and my sister for a long time was why mona lisa? why her in particular? songs are very meaningful in the way that things as big as that aren’t an accident. it’s not a name you pull out of your ass as a placeholder. she has some sort of meaning to this song (especially since she shows up in the lyrics later in this song (also in another song, hmmm). so we looked into the meaning of mona lisa and there’s a lot of different things but a lot of what we found was mysterious person. nobody knows who she was, they have guesses but we’ll never know for sure. she’s this person that we all know what she looks like but we don’t know who beyond that. hmmm, how can i tie THAT into a song?

anyway, if you didn’t get it, mona lisa is ryan. she, in this song, is ryan, and he is brendon.

She paints her fingers with a close precision

He starts to notice empty bottles of gin

And takes a moment to assess the sins she’s paid for

so first off, brendon was talking about this lyric in an interview. he said that this is about someone dolling themselves up. but like, honestly, if you watch any of panic, that’s not really brendon’s thing tbh. like, sure, he wears high heels sometimes but makeup isn’t really a brendon thing. (even in early panic days, he wasn’t all that emo until he met ryan). with that, it was very much ryans thing to do the emo makeup and such, not brendon’s. so with that in mind, this is about someone dolling themselves up which could also be a reference to putting on a facade, lying about who someone is. cough cough mona lisa?

then, these other two lyrics, it was kinda hard to figure out what they meant so here’s our idea. so, early panic days, even up to pretty odd, they were kinda wild. they drank a lot and did a lot of drugs, tbh. i think that when ryden first started, it was a thing like opportunity? they were both drunk so why not. now where the lyric comes in, i think that the relationship between ryan and brendon started with a lot of drinking but brendon fell in love with ryan, ryan never loved brendon. so when brendon developed feelings, he didn’t need to be drunk or high to be able to sleep with ryan. but for ryan, that never changed. this song, as you’ll see, is a lot about brendon sort of realizing that maybe ryan didn’t love him the way he wanted him to. ryan still had to be drunk in order to sleep with brendon and this is brendon realizing that. he’s looking around and seeing all these alcohol bottles and other things and realizing that ‘hey, maybe things aren’t what they should be’. the last lyric of that chunk ties into all of that. he pauses from what he’s doing, whatever brendon was doing, and looked over things. he was looking at all the signs, things ryan had said, things he’d seen and realized that, again, maybe things weren’t what they should be.

A lonely speaker in a conversation

Her words were swimming through his ears again

There's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you've paid for

so, this one took us a little while to get but hear me out. so we said that brendon was the only one who fell in love, right? just, for now, say that this ‘conversation’ is actually just a metaphor for sex. so, with brendon being the only one in love, he was the only one really contributing in a sense. sure, ryan could get his dick hard and you know, have the sex stuff but, there wasn’t any feelings. ryan was just doing it, there wasn’t anything more to it then that. kind of a shitty feeling for brendon and this song is him realizing that.

then, i posted an analysis for northern downpour that you can read here. basically, if you’re gonna be too lazy to read then, here’s a very short synopsis. ryan was basically saying that he doesn’t feel the same and it’s this long, very extra way to tell brendon that he’s delusional if he thinks that ryan will love him. ANYWAY, this song is a lot about brendon starting to doubt the truth that he seems to have conjured up and so he’s thinking over the songs off pretty odd that ryan wrote, thinking about them and trying to see them from ryans perspective almost. he heard northern downpour as a love song and he’s starting to think about it as what it really was, a song that said i will never love you.

this line comes up again at the end so there’s some significance but this is still the beginning, brendon is still on the fence about what he believes. he’s not wanting to let go of the man he loves yet so he’s saying here that ‘hey ryan, it’s not that hard to show me a little bit of love’. it’s kinda sad, really. he’s saying that he’s not that hard to leave.

He senses something, call it desperation

Another dollar, another day

And if she had the proper words to say,

She would tell him

But she'd have nothing left to sell him

so remember at the beginning how i said that he was brendon? it still is, fam. anyway, brendon is sensing desperation in himself. he’s watching this relationship fall apart in front of him and he’s not sure what he’s desperate for but it’s something. he wants to either have ryan say he’s in love or say that he isn’t. he needs one of the two before it starts to ruin him (hint: it already has). anyway, another dollar another day, is just a fancy way of saying that he’s going through the motions. we say with the bottles of gin that brendon was starting to realize that things weren’t right and that’s starting to play in the front of his mind. he’s not ready yet to give up so seeing ryan and trying to be with him is starting to feel robotic. he’s just walking along and he isn’t quite sure what to do yet, he doesn’t know.

so i’m definitely taking this proper words thing, again, as i love you. this song is a lot, to me, about brendon desperately trying to hold onto whatever he thinks that him and ryan have. this was written when ryan was still in the band and i’ve hinted/mentioned at it before. i think their relationship was very one-sided. even their stage gay was very one-sided. i think that their relationship was brendon falling hard and fast for ryan but ryan didn’t see him romantically. i think to ryan, their relationship was purely sexual and brendon just tried to see past it all. i think this song was brendon questioning a lot of things and finally, maybe, seeing that ryan wasn’t truthful. (i’m totally rolling with that through the duration of their relationship he hinted at feelings to keep brendon saited but didn’t mean it). so if ryan had the words to tell brendon that he didn’t actually care romantically (without losing the sex) then he would have. he would tell brendon if he could keep their friends with benefits thing. if he did though, he wouldn’t have any other lies to feed to brendon to keep him around (and keep the sex).

Mona Lisa wear me out

Pleased to please ya

Mona Lisa wear me out

so first off, let’s go back to mona lisa. in this song, mona lisa is ryan. now we’re bringing up again the meaning behind her and the fact that nobody knows who she is. and we’re going to take ryan as a catfish, of sorts. he’s been lying to brendon this whole time. sure, it was fun and games to fuck for them at the beginning but once brendon fell in love, he had to lie to keep brendon around. he never loved brendon but brendon has loved him for a long time. so with that, nobody knows the real ryan anymore which is why he’s mona lisa. he’s been lying for so long that they feel he’s just a fake, they can’t believe anything that leaves his mouth.

so then to the rest of the lyrics. brendon is asking ryan to wear him out (which I’m going with sexually cause everyone gets worn out after a sexual encounter, yeah?) wear me out, tire me out, make me sweat, yadda yadda. then he says ‘pleased to please ya’ which is very ,,, i wanna say cringey. this is why i said that brendon is beginning to think that ryan wasn’t so truthful. it’s almost like he doesn’t want to believe but he can’t outright deny the possibility. he’s saying that it makes him happy to please ryan. he puts out sexually because he thinks that that’s what’s keeping ryan around. he doesn’t want ryan to leave so he’ll do anything (sexually) to keep him interested in brendon. which, is really fucked up but, ya know. then he goes back to asking to be worn out (sexxxxxxx).

ALSO i would just like to point out that the music video is different just slightly. my sister came to me with almost tears in her eyes like ‘MANDELA AFFECT’ and it was trippy. in the music video he drops the ‘pleased to please ya’ and the second mona lisa which i don’t think was an accident. it’s HIS music video, why does he need to cut those like 5 seconds to make it shorter. that would have been done when originally recording the song. now, it’s already a single and it’s already popular. bands are more likely to lengthen a music video to add things in (talking, extra things that aren’t a song thing) rather than shorten it. so why? my only thought on that is since this came in v&v, after he’s already gone through the breakup, he feels ashamed at his actions. a slut? (no slutshaming, please don’t hurt me)

also, speaking of music videos, i wanna talk about how mona lisa in the video is portrayed as a child. this is something that i’ll talk about later too when mona lisa comes up in a different song (side eye emoji). but anyway, why? mona lisa in this song is portrayed as a love interest, why is she suddenly a child? kinda rape-y ya know? but this is my thought. we’re going with ryan has been lying, right? he’s been lying to brendon about his feelings and honestly, let’s talk about how literally everyone and their dog sees ryan as innocent. he’s got this little babyface and he smiles and everyone is like ‘awwww’. so that’s what brendon saw too, ya know? he sees this innocent man and he probably, when he first started doubting things was like, ‘come on, ryan wouldn’t lie, he’s too innocent’. and come on guys, children represent innocence through and through.

so i’ve saved the pre chorus and the chorus for last cause it always seems to flow better for me that way ?? i dunno. also it’s typically one of the last things you hear in a song so it just makes sense. heres the pre chorus

Say what you mean

Tell me I'm right

And let the sun rain down on me

Give me a sign

I want to believe

now this is really blunt. like i said, brendon is questioning things and i think this song is him expressing that he wants to know if his doubts are true or not. maybe he’s giving into the doubts a little more now, getting a little harder to ignore. he’s blunt. tell me what you want, is first. say what you mean, say the truth, tell him that he’s correct in thinking that it’s not real. and i know this can be taken as “tell me i’m right that you love me” but this song is really negative, honestly. it’s not a love song, he’s not asking for a confession of feelings. at first we took the point of ‘say i love you’ and my sister was talking about how the sun raining down on him is a sign of happiness. which, yes, i totally get that but like i said, this is not a love song. when we changed our thoughts on this to ‘tell me you never loved me’ i looked at it as a sign of freedom. he’s finally being proven right, his doubts are at ease because they’ve been proven. yes, brendon is sad because heartbreak fucking sucks but he doesn’t need to worry anymore which is also a relieving feeling. the light is positivity in a dark time. this is looking on the bright side when everything else sucks. but like i said, brendon was very much in love with ryan. while he’s starting to see that he’d been lied to, he doesn’t want to believe it. he wants to believe that ryan loved him and he’s fighting desperately to hold onto a rope that is frankly falling apart right before his eyes.

Whoa, Mona Lisa,

You're guaranteed to run this town

Whoa, Mona Lisa,

I'd pay to see you frown

so, as i said before, this is a callout to ryan. hey ryan, you’ve been running my feelings and this band. which is totally fucking true. pretty. odd. was not brendon’s choice in music, it was ryan’s. even fever was ryans idea. (even the lyrics my dudes. though not all of the lyrics are 100% ryans so fuck off with that shit). he was the one that wanted more of the beattle's aesthetic because guess who, after leaving panic, went on to write MORE music that was beattle’s ish. ryan fucking ross. brendon went back to his steampunk, heavy bass (thanks dallon) music. he’s always been a little more into that. (also pop and frank sinatra but ya know, whatever). then again, hey ryan, i want to see you frown. this line i am analyzing last because i think it’s meant to come last. the chorus is supposed to be the main thing in this song which would only make sense to have it come last. the verse’s lead up to it, you’d read them first but song structure and such. ALSO, EACH TIME, THIS COMES AFTER THE PRECHORUS AFTER HE’S ASKED TO BE PROVEN RIGHT, THANKS. each time, he’s saying he’d love to see ryan frown after ryan (hypothetically) had the chance to admit that he never loved brendon. i’m also going with that since ryan didn’t love brendon, his heart wasn’t in this. their little breakup won’t hurt ryan the way it tore brendon up. ryan could have shrugged this off and been unaffected by it. brendon wants to see him hurt the way he did.

There's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you've paid for

and then this line comes up a second time. it’s the actual end of the song, this is after brendon is realizing that ryan was full of shit. it’s revenge. he wants ryan to feel the pain that brendon did. he wants ryan’s heart to get torn out. it’s very angry, honestly but deserving almost? he’s already asked ryan to show him a little love and that probably didn’t go so well (cape town?) so now brendon is asking for ryan to get hurt.

savage.

[heylabodega]

Books Read, Age 26

Previously: 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18 (holy shit)

Enigma Variations–Aciman I talked to Robbie about this one a bunch bc he’s always looking for good novels about gay people by gay people and I thought this might be that but this is…not that. It had promise and the first section is really kind of lovely but it veers off and just…I don’t know, mileage will vary, but it didn’t feel True to me. idk idk either like he misunderstands love and sexuality or I do and it honestly could more than likely be me.

A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy–Adams One of those books I had just always kinda pretended I read. I mean not that people like frequently check to make sure I’ve read AHGttG but just like in my mind whenever it was mentioned I checked it off. You know the dealio you don’t need my thoughts on it (as opposed to most things, on which you definitely do).

All Grown Up–Attenberg My favorite of the Attenberg novels I’ve read. Of particular use and relevance to me, an aging single woman and unlikeable protagonist. I enjoyed this very much, it was sharp and warm and mean and tender.

Queen of the Night–Chee Hmm. Ok. I felt for most of this book that it like…thought it was a different, more important book than it actually was? It is overwritten–both in prose style and in that it could have been at least 100 pages shorter–and you know how sometimes you read a book with a female protagonist and you’re like ‘I can’t believe a man wrote this!’? Yeah this isn’t that. But the ending line is really good? idk. Someone else read it and tell me your thoughts.

Too Much and Not the Mood–Chew-Bose First of all, excellent title. These essays reminded me, and I mean in this in the lease self-important way possible, of my own writing. Just in that way where writing doesn’t have to be traditionally literarily linear. These essays are good and filled with the kind of sentences that make you know the writer loves words, you can feel her placing them carefully with the satisfying click of scrabble tiles, sliding them into the right order.

Who Killed Roger Ackroyd–Christie Typical Agatha novel and very good. I can’t tell you any more without spoiling it.

Murder in Retrospect–Christie This is one of my fave Christie’s. It was dark and smart and pithy.

Rule Britannia–Du Maurier I found this in a used bookstore in Portland, Maine, just after the Brexit vote. She wrote it in like the 70s and it’s speculative fiction based on if the UK left the EU and formed a union with the United States. It’s kind of really good but it also ends kind of abruptly, like maybe it could have been the first of a trilogy or something.

Plum Bun–Fauset This was my favorite book from my Harlem Renaissance class. I wrote my term paper on it. I love this book. I want to write it as a screenplay and someone to make it into a movie and I want Troian Bellesario to play the lead.

A Coney Island of the Mind–Ferlinghetti A book of (I think?) beat poetry that I found in a used bookstore in Saugherties at Thanksgiving. I love these poems, especially one called “The World is a Beautiful Place” which I read out loud to Robbie one night while we were walking between bars in the snow at like midnight.

Wishful Drinking–Fisher Carrie Fisher is one of those people whose very existence makes me feel braver and weirder and funnier. She’s a truly good soul and I don’t have anything else to say except that you should read this and also that you should Postcards From the Edge first it’s better.

Difficult Women–Gay I prefer Roxane Gay’s fiction to her nonfiction and these are very good, very interesting stories full of sadness and love.

The Autobiography of Malcolm X (as told to Alex Haley) I have never had so many people approach me while reading a book in public as this one. It is, unsurprisingly, an extremely compelling and upsetting book. But I was very surprised by it. I’m not sure quite what I expected from it, but it wasn’t what it was. I think about this book at least twice a week. I think everyone should read it and I think they’ll all enjoy it.

How To Be  A Person In the World–Havrilesky I think maybe Ask Polly columns are better in smaller doses than a whole book, but nevertheless, for better or for worse, she shaped a great deal of my early-twenties self esteem and the essays translate to the page much better than a lot of internet writing I’ve read. 

Girl on the Train–Hawkins This felt…cheap somehow. Like I got really into it and then felt like I’d been cheated or fooled because it’s truly not very good.

Bright Lines–Islam This is a fascinating book. It’s the most Brooklyn summery, felt the most like my Brooklyn summers despite describing a Bengali Muslim family and smoking weed and other experiences that are not specifically mine. I’d recommend it. Highly.

Intimations–Kleeman Man, I’ve recommended this book of short stories to so many people. It’s weird and interesting and it does something I think is hard, which is write surreal stories where the stakes still feel real, if that makes sense. She came and spoke to our class and she told an interesting question to ask of short stories which was, “what are the satisfactions of this story?” and all of these are satisfying and visceral. There’s one long one in the middle that I skipped and you can too, I give you permission.

A Swiftly Tilting Planet–L'Engle Hey, um, you know what’s p upsetting to read? A plot where a crazy dictator is gonna drop a nuclear bomb and start the end of the world (this isn’t a spoiler it’s introduced like five pages in). 

A Wind in the Door–L'Engle This was not as good as A Wrinkle in Time–what is–but it was a bright easy read, her books are so–loving, I guess. Good if you need a little palate cleanser.

Passing–Larsen We read a LOT of books in my Harlem Renaissance course. This a very good, short novel about, well, guess. It’s like a painting somehow, like a 20th century painting.

Sister Outsider–Lorde  I have taken none women’s studies courses so this was a pretty important text I had never read. It is very Good and everyone should read it if they have not already.

Cruel Shoes–Martin I LOVE Steve Martin and still on a few of these I was like “I don’t know, Steve.” But many others (they’re very short stories) are funny or clever or great.

Bright Lights, Big City–McInerney ughhhhhhh a book that is entirely written in second person and is about how womens’ existences and deaths have like ~made a man feel~ but it’s a short quick read and–I am E X T R E M E L Y reluctant to admit–the end is a really good image that did lowkey make me cry but also fuck this book

The Hopeful–O'Neill This I didn’t like much, in a way that I thought it needed a stronger editor and I want Eleanor or Robbie or someone I trust to read it to tell me if I’m wrong.

The Bed Moved–Schiff Weird and good little stories. I don’t think about them often, but they were elegant and sharp as I read them.

Eligible–Sittenfield It’s nice that they’re publishing Modern AU Pride and Prejudice fanfic now in a bound book. This was enjoyable tho tbh not the best Modern AU Pride and Prejudice fanfic I, a cool and chill person, have read in my life.

Swing Time–Smith I think this is my fave of the Zadie Smith books I’ve read. I wasn’t sure by the end quite what the point of it was, but I guess also what’s the point of anything? idk this is a useless description of a book. It was immersive and interesting but I’ve also not told anyone “you *have* to read this you’ll love it.” We did go see her read from it and in person she is enchanting.

The New Woman–Sochen Nonfiction about what I think we’d call first-wave feminism? It was really fascinating about an era I knew nothing about but also had some, um, glaring omissions ahem any mention of race whatsoever.

Action. A Book About Sex–Spiegel Ok look yes fine I am an adult sexually active woman who still reads books about sex whatEVER. I missed sex-ed and I also like to hear, in a non-prurient (or sometimes prurient w/e) way what other people are up to, sex-wise. I mean there’s no real like advice about sex in the world, I think, except that everything consensual and fun is fine, but I think it’s important to occasionally remind yourself of that. This was a good book.

Missing, Presumed–Steiner A crime book that I neither loved nor hated and generally enjoyed reading. Big enh.

The Girls From Corona Del Mar–Thorpe Robbie gave this to me for my birthday last year. A beach read with an edge, page-turner-y but sharp. Seems like it’s going to be a light read, but there’s a bite to it, a reminder of the cruel randomness of fate and of our inability to really know other people or ourselves. I loved this.

Cane–Toomer So this is an important text from the Harlem Renaissance and it’s kinda…never classified? It’s a series of related but not continuous short stories, as well as poetry, and little like plays? idk it’s very evocative and beautiful and dense and bears up to intense overreading. One of my favorite books I read for my Harlem Ren class.

The Blacker the Berry–Thurman Ok so Wallace Thurman apparently worried his whole life that his writing style was too journalistic and he maybe wasn’t…wrong. This is NOT a bad book and it’s well written and novelistic exCEPT when sometimes it feels pedagogical or expository. It’s a short, well constructed novel about colorism and worth checking out.

Killer–Walters Lovely and weird poems. I went to go follow the author on Twitter and discovered I already was. I love these.

The Underground Railroad–Whitehead An extremely. upsetting. book. Here’s the thing and I understand the presumption of my criticism of a book that won the national book award, but: if you’re going to make your conceit that the Underground Railroad is a real railroad, I think that you should do more with it. THAT SAID the rest of this is truly wonderful, somehow at once a page turner and viscerally upsetting.

Kiss Me Like a Stranger–Wilder I love Gene Wilder. I’d read Gilda Radnor’s memoir a couple years ago so part of this was sort of an interesting other side of the story. Anyways he seems like a genuinely strange, slightly neurotic, flawed but mostly warm and kind person.

[bereft-of-frogs]

A Theology of the MCU: Myth, Marvel, and Mímir’s Well

(I love coming up with pretentious essay titles ya’ll this is one of my true academia skills)

aka, solving the in-universe discrepancies between the Marvel Asgard and Myth Asgard that no one asked for but I’m going to do anyways

So I was finally inspired to work out what I thought about the in-universe Norse Mythology and how it related to the actual Asgardian characters we know and love by this post. I’ll get to what I agreed with and what I didn’t a little later, but this kind of meta has been long coming because I def use and abuse mythology and should figure out what I think about how mythology and the relations between myth Thor & Loki and ‘real’ Thor & Loki before I screw anything up too badly.

The easy explanation is that the contents of the mythology in the alternative universe depicted in the MCU is just different. Our only real engagement with the myth in the movies is when Selvig pulls out the children’s book at the library and the images clearly look like Chris Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston, rather than other depictions of the mythological Thor and Loki.

[Sidenote: eddas for dummies ’s illustrations of the Norse gods are great: https://edda-for-dummies.tumblr.com/]

So we could just say that things are different, they match onto ‘reality’ a little better than the Norse mythology we’re familiar with in our version of the universe, and done.

Or we could make things more complicated.

Which, in my opinion, is infinitely more fun. And I apparently have a lot of time on my hands (lol I don’t, I’m just procrastinating), so I’m writing up my explanation of how the ‘real Asgard’ and ‘myth Asgard’ were connected in the Viking Age and how the real Asgardians could have inspired their mythological counterparts.

And the answer is syncretism!

One of the main problems the original post points out is that the dates don’t line up. Loki is commonly accepted to be born in 965 CE, as stated in Thor. So he was born after the myth development and worship, and at the start of the Christianization of Scandinavia. Thor is accepted to not be that much older, given their similar appearance as children and other general character/relationship traits. How is this possible?

My headcanon explanation is: the Thor and Loki of the myths are actually amalgamations of several different Asgardian heroes, or even other deities from the proto-Indo-European mythology, that are eventually condensed into the figures of Thor and Loki (and Frigga and Heimdall, etc etc). (Very common in real world mythological and religious development.)

But since it turned out that these figures were real in the MCU and there was indeed a physical place called Asgard where Odin reigned, with Valkyries and gods, a Valhalla, etc…So that’s where I got the ‘amalgamation of several Asgardian heroes’ thing. Perhaps two thousand years ago the barrier between Asgard/Midgard was thinner, or it was more acceptable to travel on Midgard. Asgardian heroes, infinitely stronger and magical and seemingly immortal, travel on Midgard and have adventures and are seen as gods. The stories told, the sagas, poems, etc are all depicting something much more concrete, and material, than distant deities. Neil Gaiman’s Norse Mythology has its flaws, but the introduction does contain one of my favorite quotes: “…myths of a people who did not entirely trust or even like their gods, although they respected and feared them.” which I feel like would be a good description of this relationship. They write down stories of stuff they did with their wandering friends, and over time they take on spiritual significance.

“But,” you say, “that doesn’t 100% make sense either. There are references to Thor and Loki earlier than 965CE, and there are some stories that you pick out and attribute to the ‘real’ Thor and Loki when you’re using and abusing mythology for fanfiction inspiration. How do you explain that, hmmm?”

This is where the original post was like a lightbulb going off. Mímir’s Well could give a humans a glimpse of the wider Realms and/or future. (Or at least I think it was supposed to be Mímir’s Well…I think the movie may have said something about the Norns, but I also have Thoughts about the Norns,* so I’d prefer to have it just be Mímir’s Well.) But I thought the ‘drunk Viking fell in a well’ was a little reductionist.

Absolutely no disrespect to OP intended! I love that post. It’s brilliant and the meta on the ages are so well thought out I have officially adopted that explanation for the age discrepancies. I just have a lot of Feelings about the development of religious systems and tend to be sensitive about attributing religious development to things like ‘drunk people making up stories’ because I think spirituality/religion of any kind is a profound reflection of man’s attempt to make sense of the universe, and so complex and varied and beautiful and I’ve struggled a lot against people who don’t understand, or purposely misrepresent, the fundamental societal purpose of religion and the quest for meaning…but anyways…

So yeah, due to my weird neuroses about religion and myth, I want to give the early poets more credit than ‘drunk Viking that fell in a well.’ Instead of accident or foolish ignorance, there could have been a mortal, or several mortals, who gained particular favor among visiting Asgardians and were gifted with knowledge of the future and of Asgard and built their myth upon that. Because of increased traffic between Asgard/Midgard, early Scandinavian societies were interacting more with Asgard than modern humans. So they were getting stories of Asgardian heroes, interacting with travelers, etc. They prove themselves to Asgardian travelers in various ways, then the Asgardians show them the wells. Perhaps mortal sorcerers were held in higher regard as well. Anyways, they also enter Mímir’s well at the invitation of whatever Odinic wanderer that may or may not be Actual Odin, and see the future, but distorted by their own limited perception and experience.

You have to keep in mind that linear time is essentially a social construct. (I’m only half joking with that.) Especially in Norse mythology, where time is simultaneously linear and cyclical. So, at the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter that the timeline doesn’t add up. When the mortals enter the well they see things that happen no matter where they happen in the timeline. So they see Ragnarök, which has both not yet happened and already happened. For another example, they could see the essence of Loki’s betrayal/fall from grace, and it gets combined with another figure, who, let’s say, went to a feast and insulted all those assembled.

This makes it super easy to steal from the myths at will, and kind of sort myths into ‘yes this story involved the ‘real’ Thor & Loki’ and ‘nope this involved someone else and was later attributed to Thor and/or Loki.’ So I sit there and say like “Ah, I like this one, someone saw this in the well” and “nope, I don’t see this one as fitting their characters, that one was from another Asgardian hero.”

Examples of the divide:

People seem to generally like ‘lips sewn shut’ storyline (‘The Treasures of the Gods’ in Crossley-Holland), the birth of Sleipnir (‘The Building of Asgard’s Wall’), and I’ve seen the Lay of Geirrod (‘Thor and Geirrod’) done fantastically well. I tend to lift themes/motifs pretty frequently (and that’s how I stole the essence of Helreith Brynnhildr, which was written down in the 13th century, but actually happened to the Valkyrie in the 21st) and there are other stories I’ve seen less frequently adapted, like ‘Thor’s Journey to Utgard’ that I think make sense, but I don’t really see either Thor or Loki as having wives or children, so I can file that as someone else.

[Two more headcanon-y headcanons: there was another figure that was more like the myth-Loki - blood brother of Odin who at some point betrayed them, and was the more malevolent figure, that was syncretized with Loki at some point. And Hela got so much more distorted because of whatever Odin did to erase her from memory. He was successful on Asgard, where he had more control/power, but he couldn’t catch everything on Midgard, which was already starting to grow more distant from Asgard, if the Hela thing occurred between Thor and Loki’s births like the timeline seems to imply.]

So yeah. This is a thing I did. I did a lot of thinking about this while washing dishes the last couple of days. I just really like exploring the relationship between mortals and the gods, which would also be important if Asgard was going to sail their way to Earth and rebuild in Norway, like Odin wanted them to in Thor: Ragnarok. (That was a great line too: “Remember this place. Home.” Ahhhhhh, we can have such interesting interactions between modern Scandinavians and Asgardians and it would have been great. Thanos ruins everything. But also, we probably never would have because I don’t anyone working at Marvel cares to think this much about myth…)

*My Thoughts about the Norns: I weirdly like the idea that the Norns are essentially the True Deity. Mostly because I’m super, super into triple goddesses. And the way (though I’m pretty sure I picked this up from other fanfiction), the characters invoke the Norns like ‘God’. (tbh it’s also a good cheat for fixing dialogue where I’ve snuck in a ‘oh my god’ or ‘godforsaken’ etc.) You’ll also notice though, that I only ever have the like ‘highborn’ Asgardian characters invoking the Norns. The ones who have their names directly taken from mythology (Thor, Loki, Heimdall, Frigga, Odin, etc, plus I think people who were actually living in Asgard, so most of the survivors on the Ark), invoke the Norns, but other ‘lowborn’ characters from the Nine Realms will say ‘gods’ instead. That worked itself into the second chapter of ‘Misuse of Magic’.

God, I’m such a nerd. I’m going to go put myself in nerd timeout. Bye…

[PS - I used the Kevin Crossley-Holland anthology, The Penguin Book of Norse Myths, above because well…I own it. And it’s in my apartment and not my parents’ basement. But I do recommend, accessible but with an extensive notes section.]

Did I do it right? This is the first time I’ve ever posted this sort of thing hope it’s okay ahhhh

back to timeout

[rahleeyah]

11 questions tag game

Right, here we go. I was tagged by @recycledstars.

The rules are: answer the questions given by the person who tagged you, write 11 questions of your own, tag 11 people. (if y’all wanna tag me back that’s cool, I like answering questions!)

what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? African or European? 

what was the last book your read? would you recommend it? if not, what’s the last book you read that you loved? I am currently reading the Ruth Galloway novels by Elly Griffiths. I have read them all before, and I quite like them. They’re not terribly deep, just pop/mystery/thriller type books, but they’re quirky and fun and engaging enough to keep my mind off other less fun things I could be thinking about. 

favourite line from your favourite poem? “i  carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)” from “i carry your heart” by ee cummings, because I am a) a hopeless romantic and b) just crazy about cummings’s style.

have you ever been in love? discuss. I have. I am. I will be. It was not enough.

what is something you’ve done that you regret? oooh Lord you’re going with the heavy ones here aren’t you? there’s a million little social interactions things that keep me up at night, but there was this one friendship, that could have become more, that I let die because I was selfish and not thinking clearly. I regret losing contact with this girl, and Facebook keeps throwing up old pictures of us together every day thanks to Timehop, so that’s fun. I do wish I had tried harder to keep that friendship together. 

if you were personally responsible for naming 8 new “wonders of the world”, what would one of them be? (or all 8, if you feel like it.) Um. The Basilica of San Vitale in Ravenna. The art, architecture, and history of that building are quite simply astounding. 

outdoors or indoors person? and what is your favourite thing to do in either of those places? I’m a lowkey outdoors person. My favorite thing in the world is waking up early on Saturday mornings and sitting on the porch with a cup of coffee, that feeling of peace and possibility is indescribable. My second favorite thing is getting drunk around a campfire at night. But please don’t make me go hiking. I’ll do it, but I won’t thank you for it.

space, the final frontier. if you could go to space, would you? that’s a hard nope. Space is fascinating and terrifying and I have enough trouble dealing with my insignificance in the grand scheme of things as it is, I don’t need to be confronted like that. 

you and me, at the bar, having a good time. “what’s your fave bevvy?” I ask. you (possibly not being australian) look confused: why the fuck do your people do this? you ask, why can’t you just say the end of a word? I can’t answer you on that one. ANYWAYS, what do you order? I would be concerned by your use of the word “bevvy” but I would let it slide, especially if you were buying. My drink of choice is gin & tonic.

describe the last date you went on. if you’ve never been on a date that’s a very respectable choice tbh. tell me a story about something better that you did instead. We went to Chili’s. We ordered drinks. We tried to pretend that everything was ok (it wasn’t). Then we went to Target and failed at the self-checkout. 

what two fictional characters didn’t kiss but should have? (e.g. myka and h.g.) what two fictional characters did kiss but shouldn’t have? (e.g. pete and myka???) Oooh this is a good one. Sam Carter and Jack O’Neill. We got a few kisses but they were either a) in an alternate universe and therefore did not count or b) “you won’t remember this in a few minutes so why not” or c) in a dream. I need some real Sam/Jack moments. (Myka and HG would have been my answer if you hadn’t already mentioned it tho). Shouldn’t have kissed? (Myka & Pete) Um did Will and Helen ever kiss? Because that is a thing that should never happen. I can’t remember what’s fanon and what’s canon any more Tumblr has ruined me. 

Ok my 11 questions are as follows:

1. If you could do any job for a day, what would it be?  2. If you could trade bodies with anyone (just bodies, not lives), who would it be? Why?  3. What was the last dream you had that you can remember? If you can’t remember any of your dreams, make it up (but make it a good one) 4. Give me all your feels about your OTP.  5. What’s one skill you don’t have that you wish you did?  6. What skill do you have that you’re proudest of?  7. What worries you most about the future? 8. What excites you most about the future?  9. What book/song/film has influenced you most? (pick one, or do all 3) 10. What’s your favorite place in the whole world? 11. Tell me about a show/film that makes you angry.

And I’m tagging:

@sigmacreations @martyswale @ofhouseadama @druidkeyleth @aphrodites-spawn @bellamyyoung @angiemartinellicarter @creepymcpaintsalot @quarantedeux @womanlovingwaverly @featherpluckn

[gossipnetwork-blog]

How to Prepare for Outlander's Big Reunion Episode

New Post has been published on http://gossip.network/how-to-prepare-for-outlanders-big-reunion-episode/

How to Prepare for Outlander's Big Reunion Episode

Still reeling from the end of last week’s Outlander?

And still reeling even more from the fact that you have to wait a whole extra week to find out what happens next? We feel you. We’re there with you. We got you. 

Last week’s episode obviously ended with Claire finally making it back to her husband in the 1700s after discovering that Jamie had survived and was working as a printer in Edinburgh under the name Alexander Malcolm, quoting poems that hadn’t been written yet. But all we got was Claire arriving at the shop, and alerting Jamie to her presence before he passed out cold (a reasonable reaction, tbh). 

“There’s a pint pot somewhere that goes awry,” Sam Heughan told us of the aftermath of the fainting when we caught up with him at the launch of his signature collection for Barbour. “It’s gonna be everything…you know, these two people haven’t seen each other, and they’re going to rediscover that bond, that attraction, that love for each other, but also it’s kind of awkward because they haven’t seen each other for so long and there’s so much riding on it. It’s almost like they’re teenagers again.” 

Now, we still have a week and a half to go before we get to see Jamie and Claire be those teenagers again, but there are actually a lot of things you can do in that time to prepare yourself for all the various kinds of catching up Claire and Jamie will have to do. 

First, just put this preview on repeat while you prepare your sustenance. Sure, it’s as much of a tease as the end of last week’s episode was, but all that collar-undoing is still something. 

Second, you’ll need alcohol. Lucky for all of us, Outlander is not lacking in that department. While whisky is always a go-to where anything Scottish is concerned, the show also has its own line of wines via Lot 18, with fun names like Mo Nighean Donn, Red Jamie, A. Malcolm, La Dame Blanche, Mac Dubh, and even a delightful rosé called Sassenach, all printed on gorgeous labels that will make you almost not even want to open the wine. (Almost.) 

And yes friends, you heard us correctly. There is Outlander rosé, and yes it is good, and yes it has a hashtag: #SassenachRoseAllDay

Starz

Third, food! There’s an official Outlander cookbook, but all you really need are some bannocks and some delicious freshly made (or, you know, bought) butter and you’re golden! Bannocks are flat, unleavened oat cakes that Jamie and Claire eat quite a lot of in the book series, and that were traditionally served warm with most meals. 

We can also recommend Scottish Tablet (most likely referred to as “crumbly” in season one), but only if you’re a REALLY big fan of sugar. It’s basically a lot of sugar, butter, condensed milk, and vanilla, and we cannot stress enough how sugary it is. But if you’re into that sort of thing, it’s delicious. 

You should also prepare some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to keep in your pocket for your journey through the stones! 

Fourth, now that you’ve armed yourself with food and drink, you’re ready to do some reminiscing. When we asked Heughan what episodes fans should rewatch to prepare, he said, “I think you should watch all the episodes, especially of season three.” 

While some people may have time to do that, most do not, but there are just a few we’d suggest taking a look back at in preparation. First, the pilot. “Sassenach” showed Claire’s first journey through the stones and introduced her to Jamie Fraser for the first time, so it’s an obvious choice. Then, just skip on over to episode seven, also known as “The Wedding.” You know why. 

From there, head over to season two, episode seven, “Faith.” It’s a hard watch, but a worthwhile one for so many reasons, including its devastating performances. Then take on the season two finale, “Dragonfly in Amber,” to watch Claire and Jamie say goodbye. 

From there, take Heughan’s advice and just rewatch the first five episodes of season three! 

“We covered 20 years that Claire and Jamie are apart, and a lot happens to both those characters and it’s an amazing season,” Heughan told us. “I’m so excited about this season and I know people are enjoying it. And each episode is very different so when we actually finally get to the reunion, there’s just…the stakes are even higher. We’ve learned that these two people have lived lives apart, and yeah, I can’t wait for the fans to see the print shop.” 

When you’ve finished your season three rewatch (even if you skipped episode four, which even Heughan admitted was going to make a lot of people “angry”), here’s some more from Jamie himself about being reunited with Claire on screen and costar Caitriona Balfe off-screen. 

“Obviously in the show there are so many fan favorite moments in the books so there’s always a pressure to get these right, but of course we knew the print shop was a big one,” he says. “We hadn’t worked together for a long time so it was nice to have each other back again. There’s a different atmosphere, a different dynamic on set, and you know, the makeup trailer was quieter without her. The music was different. But it was really great to be working with her again, and this great sort of dynamic between the two of us. It was fun, and I think viewers will be sort of surprised, but they’ll see what they’re anticipating.” 

Sony/Outlander Store

And finally, an exclusive announcement: If you act fast, you can get your hands on a gorgeous print, printed on the very printer Jamie A. Malcolm uses in the show! 

Starting tomorrow, the Outlander Store is selling a very limited edition art print of the gorgeous cover page of the “A. Malcolm” script. It even says “printed by A. Malcolm,” so it feels very legit. Here’s the official description: 

“Own a piece of the print shop from Outlander with this limited-edition ‘A. Malcolm Printer and Bookseller’ art print. Hand typeset on the fully-restored 1800’s printer in the actual print shop set, as seen in Season 3 of Outlander: The Series, this beautiful and framed print recreates the ‘A. Malcolm by Matthew B. Roberts’ cover page on handmade, archival 80gsm paper (the approximate equivalent of 70 lb. text weight paper). Twenty-five of these unique hand numbered prints were created during production of Season 3 and 20 of these prints are available now for you to showcase in your Outlander collection. Available exclusively at www.outlanderstore.com.” 

We’ll see you in a week and a half! 

Outlander‘s super-sized reunion episode airs next Sunday, October 22 at 8 p.m. on Starz.

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[tink-bell]

copink

1) Who rocks the Ferris Wheel seat and who flips out and begs them to stop?

Tink, hands down. Though, I don’t think Copper flips out and begs her to stop. He probably just gets super fucking annoyed with this CHILD who BEGGED him to get on this goddamn Ferris Wheel.

2) Who is always horny and will have sex at any time, at any place and at any time?

Have you met Tink? Plus she’d want to simply because Copper is the sheriff and she’d always counter with “What are you gonna do? Arrest me?”

3) Who is more into taking showers/baths together? Who tries to make it relaxing and who tries to make it sexy time?

Tink probably enjoys the showers more because DANGER! Honestly she’s probably tried to initiate the sexy times in the shower and then almost gotten a concussion. Though, if Copper or her had a particularly bad day she’d probably just fill up the bath and demand he get in with her because its good for the soul.

4) Who likes to walk around the house naked and who tells the other to go put some clothes on?

You know, I could totally see Tink doing it just to annoy the shit out of Copper or fluster him. And vice versa.

5) Who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight?

Yeah, Tink totally starfishes on the bed when they argue so he HAS to sleep on the couch. She’d get up some time in the middle of the night though and just “I’m cold and wanna cuddle” and either plop herself on the couch with him or drag his ass back to bed.

6) Who takes photos of the other while they sleep?

Tink does. She has a total collection of photos of Copper sleeping because it’s as rare as her sleeping.

7) Who said “I love you” first? and who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?

Tink said it first and it was probably in a fight, lets be real. But Copper probably uses it as a last resort when Tink wants to be a shithead and argue about why she can’t do something and how Copper is being a proper prat by restricting her.

8) Who likes to wear the others sweatshirts?

Considering it’s literally impossible for Copper to wear one of Tink’s sweaters without ripping it, Tink steals Copper’s sweaters all the fucking time. She wears them to bed when he’s at the station.

9) Who wakes the other up in the middle of the night to tell them a cool dream they had? Who has the most nightmares, and who sings them back to sleep after?

Tink tries really hard not to wake Copper up bc she knows he doesn’t sleep often and well but if her dream is especially awesome she’ll poke and prod until he’s awake enough to listen to her. As for the second part it very well could be equal parts both?

10) Who is more likely to cheat?

Yeah, that’s Tink again. My lil problematic babe.

11) Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?

Again, Tink makes fun of Copper. Totally pulls that line from Miss Congeniality. You wanna hug me, you wanna kiss me, you wanna lala me. To which Copper huffs and is just like ‘ur fuckin’ stupid’

12) Who starts a food fight in the kitchen?

Tink. To make Copper laugh and to remind him that he’s not an old fart.

13) Who initiates duets? and who is the better singer?

Tink demands they sing. Probably suggests it when Isabel is being fussy when going to bed. She researches irish lullabies and asks Copper if he knows them so they can sing them to da baby.

14) Who starts the hand holding? Who grabs the others butt? Who slides their arm around their waist? Who likes to put their fingers in the belt loops?

Tink just because physicality is her #thing.

15) Who likes writes the others name on their wrist?

Tink is the child who writes her name on all of Copper’s things that she can get away because they are reminders that she adores him.

16) Who is more seductive when they are drunk? and who is louder in bed?

Copper because he drinks and Tink does not. Tink is the louder one.

17) Who is more protective?

I feel like they would both be hella protective of each other. 

18) Who talks to the other while they are sleeping?

Tink does normally. But on the nights she really cannot sleep she’ll ask him to talk to her until she drifts off because it’s soothing to her.

19) Who drives and who has the window seat?

Copper drives, Tink annoys the fuck out of him from the passenger seat.

20) Who falls asleep in the others lap and who carries them to bed?

Tink probably has this habit. Especially if they’re like watching a movie or something or just cuddling on the couch. 

21) Who cuts the others hair?

SALONS ARE A THING PEOPLE!!!!

22) Who is super bad at sexting? and who sends them encouraging messages throughout the day?

I feel like Copper would be a pretty good sexter. At least good enough to make Tink blush at work because she DOESN’T EXPECT IT. And Tink is totally that annoying shit head girlfriend who is like ‘u can make it through the day xoxoxoxoxox multiple dumb emojis’ 

23) Who thinks they are not good enough for the others love? and who’s more afraid of loosing the other? Who thinks they keep messing up, only for the other to tell them they don’t need to worry?

HA. Both of these assholes are self depreciating dumbasses. Tink is probably the one that is more vocal with it because she still doesn’t know how to handle emotions and rehab/therapy taught her it’s good to talk things out.

24) Who starts random slow dancing with the other in the kitchen? Who holds the other just above the ground and kisses them?

Uhm. No.

25) Who says shitty puns and sex jokes just to see the other giggle and blush?

Tink does it to fluster Copper. Though he probably retaliates and makes her turn bright fucking red and just ‘that’s not fair you can’t do that /whines’

26) Who kissed first?

Wow. I don’t even. Would it be Tink? It would maybe be Tink.

27) Who orders take out at two in a morning? and who wakes the other up at three in the morning to go downstairs with them to get a glass of water because it’s too dark?

Tink does. It’s a constant thing because she’s a shit head that has terrible eating habits. 

28) Who writes poems/stories and love songs about the other? Do they sing the songs the write for them?

Is that a thing either of them do? I doubt it tbh.

29) Who does some crazy stunt to try and impress the other and who ends up driving them to the emergency room after it backfires?

Tink does. And then gets lectured the entire way to the emergency room by Copper.

30) Who is embarrassed when they have to wear their glasses and who thinks they look super cute?

This could go both ways, I feel.

@copperrussell