#it's a speculative fiction class but in actuality it's an af.rofututism class which is awesome
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well at least i know which class im dropping if i have to
#it actually sucks so bad bc it sounds really cool right#it's a speculative fiction class but in actuality it's an af.rofututism class which is awesome#but the prof's late work and attendance policies are extremely strict#like we get 3 absences and after that each absence takes a full letter grade off. it's as much as not turning in a paper#and there's a bunch of pop quizzes we can't make up and NO late work is accepted#like. it's really brutal relative to my other classes and i frequently tank my grade at the end of the semester bc of absences/late work#bc i don't have accomodations for my Ruining My Life disorder#like i'll probably enjoy what we're reading and discussing but there's no way im gonna be able to keep up with it i fear#guh.....#and there's someone i've been avoiding in there which is a little terrifying#ive been ghosting him (largely on accident bc of the Ruining My Life disorder) but he's very sensitive to it#and i really really really don't want to have that conversation yet much less get ambushed between classes y'know#my next class is in the same room so if he stays i won't really be able to leave#buhhhh i don't even dislike him he's just. kind of intense about our friendship in a way that felt like too much#like declaring platonic soulmate status a couple weeks after he asked me out and i turned him down fast#it was rather imbalanced but i tried bc he's a good guy and whatever but I couldn't keep up w the amount of interaction he wanted#and i got burnt out on it etc#and honestly if i managed to bring myself to talk to one of my friends he's.. not my first choice#we really weren't That close yk#as strongly as he felt about me#ughh idk. i feel like such an asshole#im. hiding in the bathroom and shit even though i know he left already#jeez
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