#it's a jeno fic we get it honey you can stop now

[lideria]

Lost in Yesterday. | Jeno (POV shift)

Request: helllooo!! i just read lost in yesterday and it so heart-wrenchingly beautiful that i must ask; is it possible for you to make the same fic but in jeno's point of view?

Author’s Note: I tried and I’m not mad at it! Keep in mind that I’ve done a write-the-same-fic-but-from-a-different-pov thing for the first time ever in my life, I’m suggesting you take this piece with a pinch of salt please and thank you! Plus, this was kind of hard to write? As in, I had a clear vision of Jeno’s character and feelings but when it came to expressing them it was really difficult. (and that’s on my alexithymia lads)

Important: If you want this piece to fully make sense, I’d highly suggest you read the reader’s pov and the backstory.

Warnings: Swear words, brief mentions of suggestive themes, mentions of war, mentions of heartbreak, mentions of family distress/unhealthy relationship, themes of manipulation, themes of confusion. English is my second language so there might be errors, please let me know if there is more that I should add!

Word Count: 4.003 again, like the first part, idk why but that’s so satisfying to me.

Genre: MUCH ANGST SUCH WOW, royal!au, rivalkingdoms!au, loverstoenemies!au

Hope you all enjoy it, loves! And anon, I hope this lives up to your expectations! Stay safe and healthy, and take care of yourselves for me 💚

Jeno gets done with writing his notes down with an exhausted breath through his nose.

The conference is stretching out and it is only the first day out of the three. There are demands from every monarchy aimed towards him and his rule. Every single letter that leaves his mouth is a step on the mighty thin ice that is the peace between the nations, one that must be protected at all costs, and he recognizes that. And he tries to meet everybody’s needs and wants. Figures that is the least he can do to ensure the continuity of this peace.

But in reality, he knows most people in the room would like to tear his monarchy apart in pieces if they were given the opportunity. That intimidates him even though he tries to hide the fact that it does.

As years go on after the war he expects the requests to get lighter. But they do not— if anything, they get heavier and even more challenging to provide. Even though he gets further into his life as the primary ruler and collects more experience.

And if there is anybody that gives him a particularly difficult time, it is you.

He has to watch you every year. He has to watch you stand up from your seat and take a deep, heavy breath as you link your hands and shut your eyes momentarily before proceeding with your speech. He has to see you do anything and everything to avoid looking at him as you speak up about what the monarchies and the governments must do to ensure the safety of peace the upcoming year, word out your opinion on the political problems that are the agendas for the session and your share of possible solutions that are up for a debate, and see the way you look forward frozen in place as you talk about the matters that regard his kingdom specifically. Even when you talk about the espionage, and the soldier you still could not hand over to his rule since his judicial process was yet undecided, you would not look at him. Never. Not a single time in years.

Yet, he cannot take his eyes off of you. Not for a single second, watching you as you act like the powerful and strong monarch he always knew you would come to be. It makes him proud.

The only thing— person— that pisses him off is the King. The man that took your hand in eternal marriage months, almost a year ago now, that was once your personal guard. The King that was once his friend, the only man outside royalty and his staff that he could share a laugh with, as well as a heart-to-heart conversation. Jeno does not hate him. But he hates the fact that Donghyuck gets to sit next to you and deliver speeches with you in this conference, and he hates that he can do it so well— matching your, a person who was born into the royal world, level of knowledge and confidence after such a short amount of training and education when Jeno had to pave the way for himself with his nails and teeth from day one. He hates that he gets to eat with you and see you from the moment you awake to the moment you go to sleep.

But when he finishes taking his notes and the conference goes into a break with the tired sighs leaving nearly everyone’s mouths, he can see you make your way to the doors opening to the balcony after a couple of words with your husband. Who, to his great surprise, does not accompany you because, to his great pleasure, a representative starts speaking to him.

Jeno knows this would be the right moment to talk to you. To tell you. Because you deserved to know.

So he follows you promptly, grooming his attire before making his way out.

The palace guards open the door for him, and he can already spot you, leaning on the parapet slightly. Your hair sways with the ocean breeze. He takes a second, not more nor less, to watch the way it does, because it is the most peaceful sight he has seen in a long time.

And then he walks over to you with his hands placed on his back. There is a growing tension as he does, he can feel it, but he feels fine. He is in control of every atom in his body. You, not so much. He can basically see the way you stiffen up when he stands beside you.

So he tries to ease you into the conversation. Jeno puts a smile on his face, partly because he finally gets to talk to you after all the years. “It’s a pretty day here,” The contentment is apparent through his words. He does his best at trying to sound welcoming but it still feels weird to be talking to you directly after all this time.

“It is.” Your voice sounds colder than the winter nights he spent traveling through the roads to get to you and your secret meetings. The signal gets across— you do not want anything to do with him. Hell, you sound more enthusiastic in the conference room doing politics.

Jeno knows you do not want to have anything to do with him. If it ever came to your defense, you had made that much sure when you spit the words take your men and never come back with all the disappointment and spite onto his face years ago, on that faithful night that ultimately caused all of this to happen according to the butterfly effect. But he does not give up on the opportunity to speak to you. Even if it will make you feel uncomfortable.

Because he knows how it feels when you do not get the news beforehand.

With a breath for starters, he turns his head to face your profile. You look so familiar, he smiles. “I need to tell you something, if you would hear me out.”

Either his words hold a weight to them heavier than he would ever like to make them out to be or you are so sick of him that you want him out, out of this area of peace or out of this world; out of your eyesight and out of your heart and mind because the way you breathe is almost concerning. That is, if he had not known you like the back of his hand still. You nod, and Jeno sees your eyes fixed on the harbor, where a carrier ship is being loaded. He can remember setting foot onto the pier during the war with his father.

It was the very place his father had smiled to him genuinely for the first time, and had landed his heavy hand on his shoulder, before telling Jeno how proud he was of him and his strength. He remembers having actual conversations during dinner for once, about what they would do with the land and how they would develop the towns and such without his father shutting him up even once. That very harbor was the first place Jeno’s father had listened to him and what he wanted. The first place he had acknowledged him as his son that needs to be heard rather than the Prince who needs to be educated and trained until he is perfect, and it was not even their home.

And then Jeno had given the city up as an area of peace once the war had ended shortly after his father’s passing. It seemed like the right thing to do although he knew his father would not have liked it.

Lost in the nostalgia of everything, the need to look into your eyes grows bigger. “Can you look at me as you hear me out then?”

Although he is very impatient, he relaxes the words as he speaks them out. He wants you to know that he respects your choice, even though love is not prominent in whatever it is the two of you have. And if your choice happens to be pretending like he is not there as you let him speak to you, that is fine too.

But you turn your face to look at him. Like the good monarch you are. Ready to face the past and the present and, as being a monarch demanded, the future.

But he sees something falter immediately. Truthfully, he sees many things falter immediately. He sees doubt and longing and nostalgia that is much like the one he had been experiencing just now. The look in your eyes are like ancient ruins to him: it looks so familiar, he knows what it means, yet it is impossible to make it into what it once was. Jeno chuckles even though he tries to help himself not to, because he sees it.

There is some sort of care in you for him still. Even after everything.

He almost feels this giant lightness, something so big it can swallow him whole, wash over him, but he brings himself back to the world so quickly that it is like the feeling never even existed. If anything, this made things harder to tell.

It is a pity that he cannot bring himself to care all that much, but he internally justifies it by telling himself you had not showed him half the mercy he has been showing you, months ago. “I’m to be wedded this winter.”

Shock covers your eyes. The kind that tells him you are clearly dumbfounded. But that only lasts for a few seconds before he sees it shift into hurt, and your breath hitches as the look in your eyes shifts. “Oh.”

The shaky response pulls a string on his heart only you can pull and it is hard to not give into it; maybe, just maybe, he would have given into it, had you not turned your face away from him back to the harbor before he could. It gets him feeling somewhat angry, though. He was being considerate of you, and he was being considerate of what you two had in the past, and he was being considerate of your right to know. All three of which you had not been considerate of when it was him that should have listened to you, and now you would not even face him after facing him. After showing him you can do it. He cannot understand that. “With all due respect, your Majesty, haven’t you been married for months now? I cannot understand your response,” He calls you out with every bit of frustration in him, laughing lightly in the hypocrisy you seem to be showing. “Especially when I’ve taken the time to tell you about it.”

“Everything was over with, I wasn’t obliged to tell you.” Your attacking defense comes just as he finishes what he is saying, but he can tell that even you do not believe yourself all that much. There must have been a mutual respect. Jeno would like to believe that you too had loved him magically and wonderfully like he feels he had loved you, and if you did, then there should not have been an excuse for him to not know until it happened.

With his own fair share of hurt now, he turns to look back at the town he once ruled, with his once-lover. But he does not dare drop his hands, or his shoulders, or his smile— like his father had taught him. If you stand straight enough, you will be strong. If you keep your head high enough, you will be stronger. And if you smile long and hard enough, nothing and no one will be able to break you, my son.

As he looks down he wonders if the shoemaker remembers him, because he is wearing his shoes today. Actually, he is wearing the pair that used to be his father’s. He had never used them or cherished them the way his son did, whereas Jeno had made sure he wore them until they lost any shape they held.

“Who are they?” His ear perks a bit at your question, and he looks at you from the side of his eyes, smile widening ever so slightly. “A princess,” He figures you would like the answer instantly. “From one of the state kingdoms. You must’ve seen her at least once, but I hardly think you know her name.” Maybe you did, but he would not bother telling you. You would be learning about her soon enough.

“Do you love her?”

Everything stops. You stop breathing, his heart momentarily stops beating, the world seems to halt.

Do I love her the way I loved you? No. Never. That is really hard to do, and for that matter, I do not think I will ever be able to love someone like I loved you. I may have kissed her, but never have I once ever got the same sparkling feeling on my lips or the warm feeling in my chest like I did with you. I may have hugged her, but not once did I feel like she would be able to catch me the way you did if I fell. I may have sobbed in front of her, but I never gave her the key for the lock on my mouth and just let her hug me into her chest as I kept everything inside— sometimes you inside. I may have danced with her, but only because she makes it easy to dance with the way she moves around. I may have let her sob in front of me and listened to her struggles, but no matter how hard I tried, I could not listen to her struggles as deeply as I had done with yours. I may have shared my body with her, and accepted hers, but only because she is in love with me and has told me herself that she is ready to accept me the way I am; once too in love to ever be in love again. But I care about her enough to take her hand in marriage and have children with her, because she might be the only one to love me ever again, and I respect her for it. “I presume we can say that. She’s the bearer of my child— the heir to my throne, after all. That must mean something.”

Jeno only looks at you again because of the deep, aching breath you take and the intense inhaling sound it makes. Your face is once again turned away from him, not even looking at the harbor anymore, just anywhere but him. Your body shivers only for a short amount of time, maybe a few seconds, before it stops and when it does, he can see your eyes from the side.

He knows that look. He would know that look anywhere at anytime, even if he forgot his own name. It is the same look you had given him when you looked at him for the last time. Hurt, broken, betrayed and so, so disappointed. And this time you would not look at him. “We could have been amazing.”

The way you say it, and the way your head tilts slightly in disappointment before going back to how it was, makes Jeno feel like a monster.

Because he feels the same way. You really could have been amazing.

He could have been the one to properly ask you to marry him, because with Donghyuck he was sure you had asked first, even though he once asked you in private, and you had asked him also. He could have been the one to hold your hands at the altar and to tell you he would love you day and night and in sickness and health and would have meant it. He could have kissed you in front of the thousands of guests, he could have been the one prompting the thunderous applause that followed, the one that he had learned from one of his close friends that cared enough to call him to tell him about it— your wedding. He could have cried after seeing you in your beautiful attire.

Jeno could have taken the oath with you. He could have taken a knee before you with the cape around his shoulders and the crown on his head. He could have hosted many royal balls with you, to dance with you again and again until you hated dancing. He could have gotten lost with you in palace gardens to reminisce the old days. He could have imagined the idea of having heirs with you, and he could have grown old with you.

He could have made you happy. He could have taken you to the forests he knew you loved more than anything, he could have played snow fights with you in the never-ending snow, he could have gotten lost in the library countless times with you as you read novels. He could have played guitar to you, and serenaded you with moonlight hitting your cheeks. He could have dragged you to the palace kitchen and the two of you could have made your own meals with all your staff, making them laugh with the way you act— dancing, singing, laughing, smiling, kissing, putting sugar instead of salt, stupidly in love— and at the end you could have had grand meals with your staff and their families. Could have established a festival celebrating your love and the unity of the two of the biggest reigns.

But that is the point. These are things that could have happened. Amazing is something the two of you could have been, not what you were supposed to be. He had his duties, and he had his family, and he had his people that he had to protect. The same went for you. And during the war, your stances were different from one another.

So it was maybe for the best that what once was ended when it did. Maybe, if what could have been  actually came to be, it would have gone worse, like his father had suggested him. Maybe the two of you would have used one another, like his father had suggested him. Maybe you would betray him, like his father had suggested him— and you did, because you acted like he never existed. Did not tell him anything, did not look at him, threw your experiences out the window just like that.

Maybe, just maybe, his father was right.

Yet, if he was, why did Jeno feel like the world was against him and he was all alone? Truly, and utterly alone, save for the soon-to-be queen?

He watches a tear run down your cheek, and sees you biting at your lip, and he thinks why? Why are you so upset by this? Are you really all disappointed? Did you have the right to be?

Jeno keeps on smiling. If he smiles long and hard enough, nothing will be able to break him.

The balcony doors open, and he knows who it is that is coming. This scenario has happened many times already, before he was the King but a guard, and usually he would tell you either that he had spotted royal photographers nearby and that you have to move, or that things were starting to get suspicious, anything of that sort. But now he did not know what Donghyuck might say or do, which is unsettling to him.

Without even making his presence known first, Donghyuck places a hand at your waist, and Jeno notices how you do not get surprised. “Dear,” He does not see even a bit of the discomfort on your face that you had on your face when he first approached you. Jeno is incredibly envious of that, and he must be glaring at your husband, because he turns to look at him in such a way. He can feel Donghyuck accusing him of screwing everything up yet again, and he can hear him asking what is wrong with him, what part of ‘never’ do you not understand?

Donghyuck looks at him only for a flash, but Jeno understands what he has to say.

He sees you lean against him slightly. “Shall we go inside? We can go get you something.” No, do not go yet, not now. I want to make things right with you.

If he only knew that he would never be able to do it.

You actually nod at Donghyuck without much consideration, which is almost bad enough in itself, but then you hold his hand, which seems to just emphasize everything Jeno did not like— and everything that once made him feel bad. And it infuriates him to see.

But it should not. Because he does not love you anymore. You cannot break him if he does not love you anymore.

He watches as you leave, wanting to be relieved, yet not quite able to feel that way. And he hates to admit it but there is hope in him, flickering in his chest much like a candle light in the wind, when you turn back around to him with Donghyuck.

“Send an invitation for us, too,” You say to him. Gentle and kind, and strong, despite your disappointment and hurt. Slightly, he sees you raise your chin a little to keep your composure as well, and he thinks of his father’s words. How true they are. “Our monarchs must be better than abandoning each other on their best days. Let us host you in our palace once honeymoon is over, which I hope is enough to make up for my mistake.”

It is not, he thinks. It is not enough. How do you expect me to come to your palace, where so many of our memories of love— kissing, hugging, listening to each other, seeing each other, looking deep into each other’s eyes, whispering sweet nothings and sometimes all that we know will keep the other one going, hiding from the photographers and the guards and your family and anyone who can catch us, adoring each other, cherishing each other, making love to each other, dreaming of the future will haunt the two of us, and be there with my wife that knows I will not love her fully like I did with you, and your husband that you have a deep enough relationship with that you give in to his support? How do you expect me to sit at the same table with you, knowing you told me to never come back and yet you invited me back? Knowing you would not even look into my eyes after all this time no matter how much you try? How do you expect me to look at you and see you when you will not do the same for me and expect it to be enough in return for your erasure of me and our memories?

He sees you smile, and once again you are eye to eye with him. “And if you do not, then I wish all the happiness to you and the queen, your Highness.”

You blow the flickering light in his chest.

Not your Majesty, no. You do not call him that, the title for the Kings and the Queens, and any primary rulers, but instead you call him your Highness. The title for the heirs. The name you would be calling him years ago, before he did any of what he did, before the two of you became what you have become.

You remind Jeno, with a sure and firm voice, that you do not, and you will not recognize the person he is today.

And when you turn your back and proceed with your way inside amongside Donghyuck, he cannot help himself as his shoulders drop— ruining his perfect posture for the first time since whoever knows how long.

Suddenly, Jeno cannot find it in himself to smile anymore.

[hoeforau]

~🤍~

Taeil

...

Johnny - Youngho

I’ll send all my loving to you - @sehunniepotwrites

24.8k - soulmate au!, friends to lovers au!

My favorite Johnny fic out there, by far. It has just the right amount of angst and fluff and just wholesome shit, you know? I’ve already praised this fic on my side blog (see here) but I just had to put it on here too. Bless you for this masterpiece 💛

The legend - @moonttaeil

30k - fratboy Johnny

Welp, might have read this when I was deep in my Johnny feels and now it won’t leave my mind. Frat au! lovers, this is one of, if not the best, frat series there is. If you haven’t already read their frat house series, DO IT.

Taeyong

...

Yuta

...

Doyoung

The trust fund baby - @moonttaeil

25k - frat/richboi Doyoung, fake dating au!

Y’all when I say I cried... This is a really bittersweet story but I LOVED IT. There’s also a part. 2 and it’s just as good. I’ll say it, Xiaojun deserved better, change my mind.

Atlas - @wincore

15.4k - fwb au!, college au!

Okay so this fic fucking wrecked me. I cried, maybe a bit too much. I can’t even express how much I liked it, it’s that good. It has a very, I’d say, “poetic” side to it. So beautiful.

A Marriage of Inconvenience - @lucaswithnoshirt

22.5k - victorian au!, arranged marriage au!

Now I have a soft spot for these particular aus and can I just say that it met every single one of my expectations. I want writer Doyoung as my husband, pls.

Ten -Chittaphon

Une seconde avant noël - @127-mile

5.2k - exes au!

Angst but it ends well. This was so cute, we need more Ten fics like this one in the world.

Ocean eyes - @lucaswithnoshirt

15k - mermaid au!, platonic au!

Okay, so this is probably one of the first fics I’ve read on this website, and it totally drew me in. I’m not used to platonic aus (and I have to admit I wished they at least kissed one but oh well) but as weird as it sounds, it wasn’t unpleasant. In fact, I quite liked it! Very cute.

Jaehyun - Yoonoh

...

Winwin - Sicheng

...

Jungwoo

...

Lucas - Xuxi/Yukhei

...

Mark

19-1664 TPX: Red - @ceruleanskies

8.6k - soulmate au!, assassin au!

Let’s be honest, soulmates au is probably one of the best aus that exists out there, and this fic does it justice. The angst is just *chef kiss*. This is part of a very interesting series that I sadly haven’t yet read in its entirety, but definitely will do in the future.

Xiaojun

...

Hendery - Kunhang

...

Renjun

Huang Renjun’s Envy - @misfitneo

17.5k - mafia au!

This is technically the pt.3 of the Seven deadly sins series by the same author, which I highly recommend too. This one was just hitting the Renjun vibes, you know. ouch ouch ouch, much angst but I love it.

One foot in the Golden life - @nsheetee

9.7k - richkid au!

Oh oh oh now that was so good. There is so few good Renjun fics out there, but this one gets the gold from me (see what I did there?).

Jeno

pussy blocked. : @luvdsc

31k - college au!, fuckboi/girl au!

Okay, I’m not a pancakes gal but... I would gladly sacrifice myself for those.

That’s it, that’s the review/description. Just go read it.

Of captains and college boys: @neocitybynight

8.2k - hockey au!

Part 2 here. (14.7k)

This fucking broke me. I felt every word slam my heart with a hockey stick until my very own soul shook.

Lee Jeno as a hockey player is hot, but Lee Jeno as a genuine and vulnerable human being is hotter.

Haechan - Donghyuck

Lights, Cameras, F*ck you (LDH) - @neocitybynight

31k - Hollywood au!

Now, I believe any Haechan stan has read this fic, and rightfully so. It’s like, the backbone of the Hyuck fics. It’s genuine and well-written, the story is really addictive. It even has a cute little epilogue. Anyhow, a must read.

Solaria - @jenoremii

2.5k - tattoo shop au!

Now of course I added this one to the list. Thank you for fuelling my fantasies about pretty man with tattoos and piercings, highly appreciated 🖤

Home is a feeling - @neonun-au

8.2k - fluff, christmas au...?

Soft soft soft for this. But really, anything by this author is so great. Check them out.

Baby Face - @smileysuh

14.4k - frat Hyuck, enemies to lovers au!

HA! As if I wouldn’t put this masterpiece on my list. I think it’s common knowledge by now that frat Hyuck is my shit. I wanna argue and fight with Hyuck too, if it ends the same way it does in this fic (pls, I’m begging). The entire Frat universe fics are bangers too (I might have read them all too, oops)

Jaemin

The owl and the moon - @jenoremii

7.5k - badboy Jaemin, highschool au!

I requested this one and boy oh boy was I not disappointed. Not the usual badboy fic you’d expect, but in a good way. It has a very comforting and familiar feeling to it.

Two nights, one you - @nctsworld

10.9k - fuckboi jaemin

Now this, this is the ultimate Jaemin fic. It has everything; fuckboi Jaemin, nice smut, slight enemies to lovers... what more can you ask for? This particular Jaemin lives rent free in my mind.

cat & mouse - @tyonfs

17.7k - fbw au!, college au!

So, I never thought I’d want to be Jaehyun’s sister so bad in my life but here I am. The tension and suspense was so... surreal lolz, I loved it. Looking forward to the Jeno fic in the same universe (slam dunk series).

Yangyang

...

Shotaro

...

Sungchan

...

Chenle

...

Jisung

Sweeter than honey - @luvdsc

30k - bestfriends to lovers au!, rich kids au!

!!NO SMUT!! cause we respectful hoes in this household

No but fuck off this was the cutest thing ever. This was such a nice change compared to all them 1k Jisung drabbles... bless you. I ate this up like candy, it was so so sweet omfg I can’t. The group dynamics were so wholesome and the characters URGH (here’s a short list cause I can): Shyshyshy BFF Jisung? Fat Check. Done™️ Renjun? Relatable Check. Football players Nomin (whose image will be forever engraved in my mind)? Legend Check. Insufferable Hyuck? Double Check. And the list goes on... I loved it. A must read for all the soft Jisung stans out there.

———————————🤍———————————

*I know, I know, I have my favorites... feel free to send me some good fics, I’ve got nothing but time to spare

Also, this will keep getting updated cause I can’t stop myself from reading fanfics until 3am so that’s that🙃

[bl--ankhaeji]

Lucky One (Donghyuck)

Pairing ~ Donghyuck x Reader 

Genre ~ Fluffyyyy

Warning ~ I really dont have anything to warn about. Except for that I wrote this one in an hour again so there may be misspelled anything(literally just had to correct misspelled words while writing this part) 

A/N ~ Another one of my bursts of inspiration again. I was laying in bed and reading something where the reader rubbed lotion on Jaehyun and this came to mind. Also hyuckie baby has been working really hard lately and I’ve been worried about him so I felt he deserved this.

W.Count ~ i’ve been neglecting word count on my past fics and honestly i’m prolly boutta do it on this one...sorry

The steam from the tub rose, creating a thin layer of fog to cover the room. Feeling the condensation start to clump on your face the heat causing you to let out a sigh. The bag of lavender scented bath salt sat on the side of the tub still slightly open from when you poured some over into the water. You had also emptied a packet of powdered bath milk into the steaming element making it turn a thin almost see through white. 

 The door to the apartment opens and then closes with a soft slam. “Babe, I’m home.” the tired lifeless words fall from Hyuck’s beautiful heart shaped lips. 

“In the bathroom!” You yell, taking a step back admiring your work. Rushing to the bedroom you two sleep in you see the weary boy laying face down on the bed, his bag half haphazardly thrown across the room. You crawl next to him laying down in the process facing each other. 

“Hey baby. How was your day at the store?” he questioned you.

You owned a music store, selling vinyls and used guitars and other things, but those two are how you met Hyuck. He accompanied Jaehyun one day to buy vinyls to which you later learned was because he promised to buy a meal for the boy and then another time he came with Jeno and Mark looking for guitars that’s when he asked you out and that’s how you two started. 

“My day was fine, a little slow though. How was yours beloved?” you smiled at the man across from you, just looking at him brought a smile to your face. 

“My day was tiring as usual lately. We have two music shows to prepare for and a weekly idol episode to film for 127. I know this is the life I asked for and I love it. I truly do, it's just sometimes it gets so draining and with both 127 and dream having comebacks back to back I’ve been running around a lot lately.” Seeing the exhaustion in his eyes and hearing the fatigue in his voice you knew that you planned perfectly. You love Donghyuck or as the rest of the world knows him, Haechan, and you love that he is happy doing what he loves, but even you know that this lifestyle can get really tiring that’s why you try to make things as relaxing as possible when he has time.

“Well it looks like you’re just in luck boy. You can thank me now for being the best girlfriend ever. I accept gifts only in the form of 100s thank you.” You say getting up off of the bed, softly slapping his back proceeding to drag him up. “Come on now, get up and look at what I’ve prepared for you baby.”

A giggle leaves his lips as he starts to follow you to the bathroom. Upon entering he is hit with the warm scent of apples. “What is all of this?” He asks with a smile noticeably creeping onto his face. 

“This” you start motioning to the still steaming water filled tub and yourself, “Is your personal relaxation spa for tonight. I know you’ve been very busy lately with everything you have going on and I just wanted to make a night where I can cater to you and help you unwind from everything.”

The look he gives you is filled with an insurmountable amount of love. It’s like he can feel himself falling the more he looks at the giddy grin on your face. Walking over to you he cradles your face in his hands and looks you in the eyes before planting a kiss so sweet you can feel your blood sugar rising. 

Breaking the kiss he starts to strip, nothing but the sound of his clothes and hitched breath from you is heard. His honey skin glows in the soft lighting of the room, no matter how many times you see him naked it will always surprise you just how beautiful he is. 

The sound of the water moving and a low hiss takes you out of your trance. Donghyuck can already feel the tension in his muscles loosening up, washing him in a serene calm. He hears you move behind him, to which he opens his eyes he didn’t even know were closed. 

“Tilt your head back for me beloved. I’m about to wash your hair.” And Hyuck’ll be damned if he didn’t immediately let you lather the shampoo on his scalp. He loved whenever you washed his hair, the feeling of you leisurely scratching his scalp whilst also managing to massage it always made his body as limp as a noodle. 

Grabbing a bowl you fill it with water and rinse out the shampoo. “Ok I’m-” “Nonono.” Hyuck whines grabbing your wrist preventing you from leaving his head. A laugh leaves your lips and you start back massaging his scalp. “At least wash yourself while I’m doing this, or we’ll be here all night unless you want me to do that too.” 

At your off the wet male looks up at you with a cheeky smirk and a face that basically screamed ‘Aye if you want I’m not gonna stop you’ “I would hit you right now, you better be glad this is supposed to be about you.” 

Releasing a boisterous laugh he starts to wash his body. 

~

Donghyuck stayed in the bath until the water got cold. You both were just sitting there laughing and talking about random things. Watching him dry off you head to the bedroom where you tell him to follow you after he put on his boxers. 

Pulling out the body oils you bought earlier that day you lay them on the bedside table. “What do you have planned now?” He questions looking at you sitting on the bed, waiting for him. 

“I told you I’m your personal spa. How can you have a spa day without a massage?”  

“My baby just went all out for me didn’t you?” He coos pinching your cheeks moving to lay on the bed. “I feel sorta bad I’m supposed to take care of you like this-” 

“Na-ah don’t come up in here with those gender standards mister. There is no what you’re ‘supposed to do’ we take care of each other, we love each other and dammit if I wanna take care of my baby boy and reward him for working so hard then I will.” 

Sitting on his booty you feel him clench his butt cheeks causing you to move faintly. A giggle falls from your lips smacking his back telling him to stop. The oil runs from the bottle onto his skin, layering the tissue in a thin layer of the shiny gloss. You work your hands, gently yet firmly pressing into the knots littering underneath. 

Pressing into his back you hear a groan leave his lips. “Fuckkkk that hurts but feels so good.” With a pleased smirk set upon your lips you gather more oil in your hands rubbing them together and then massaging it into his upper back. Near his shoulder blade you feel a pretty big knot. 

“Damn, this one might hurt. Im sorry.” You start slowly working away the almost physical form of stress. A high pitched whine leaves his lips as you really start to dig into the knot. Feeling it give way finally clearing it up entirely, you sit back on his thighs, a relieved sigh leaving Hyuck’s moistened lips. “Thank you, I’ve actually been hurting a little in that shoulder and it feels a lot better baby.  

Putting more oil along his back you start to move lower. The dimples above his butt indenting, you spot the cute mole on his left butt cheek fighting the urge to poke it, you move your fingers smoothly across his back. 

“Do you want me to massage your legs beloved?” 

Asking you to stand up Hyuck starts to put on his shirt,“No baby that’s ok. You’ve done a lot already and I feel so much better. You really are like a persona spa.” He says wrapping his arms around your torso, dragging you to lay on the bed next to him. 

“Let me turn on a movie.” you turn on Netflix and pick a random movie because you already know you and Hyuck will be sleeping anytime soon. You feel the beautiful male lay his head on your breasts snuggling up to you as the movie starts. 

A few minutes into the movie he tilts his head up looking at you, leaning up he plants a firm passionate kiss on your lips. “I love you baby. Thank you so much for being mine, I’m so lucky to have you.” he says in a hoarse deep voice filled with pre-sleep. “I love you too baby and it’s funny you think that because I swear everyday I’m the lucky one.”             

[rvnjun]

should've known | lee jeno

genre: super power au! angst  warnings: graphic death scene, blood, and obvi death a/n: im proud of this one but it made me want to go back and rewrite parts of haechan and jaemins fic :\

The Dream Team M.List

jeno wasn't born with his powers which caused he a lot of damage

he had to learn to adapt to life with them, had to suffer the unexpected consequences of suddenly having powers 

12 years old, his parents were cooking dinner while he played video games

it was a new game so he was still in the midst of creating his character and choosing his weapon 

luckily he had his homework done so he had extra time to decide and play

unluckily he was planning them at the wrong time

a lab was doing experiments on a person with creation powers nearby

the lab surged with power, sending waves of electricity straight to jenos game

his body jolted and erupted with electric shock, the weapons on the game manifesting themselves into his head 

screaming in pain weapons began to spread around the room, all the weapons on his game taking form in real life

his parents were so scared, they rushed him to the hospital, weapons piling in the car

he was treated for electrical burns and introduced to a power therapist who he would end up spending most of his days with 

they didnt want jeno, they didnt want a freak of a son

the power therapist took care of him and made him feel semi normal

he had to transfer schools because he got kicked out of his old one

as unfair as it seemed, they had a right to kick him out

unable to fully control his powers still he was constantly making weapons appear at random times

which put the kids and teachers around him in danger

he spent a few months which his power specialist working on school work

before he finally had his powers under control to the point he could choose when to summon a weapon

and that moment was when his power specialist changed his life once more

he sat him down and looked jeno in the eyes “Jeno you have a gift, not many people have the ability to do what you can do. now what you choose to do with it is up to you. in the meantime i know some kids I think you'd get along with well.”

haechan and jaemin, two other kids with powers 

they were funny and talkative, he got along with them easily

and most importantly, they never judged him for his powers

they thought they were amazing

jeno had always seen his powers as a curse, his own parents never looked at him the same 

but the specialist, haechan, and jamein all had the same look in their eyes

awe and curiosity

the three of them were close friends when they met renjun, a feisty chinese transfer student with drawing manifestation powers 

together the 4 of them started a team

despite how much his powers scared him, hearing the way haechan and renjun talked made him want to

besides, he knew that if something went wrong and they ended up urt, theyd always have jaemin there with his bright smile 

joining their future super team were chenle and jisung, both introduced to them by the power specialist 

together they formed The Dream Team

a super powered team of seemingly ordinary teenagers who did their best to stop crime and unlike most villains, use their powers for good

all they wanted was to help others and give the gifted a good name again

jeno felt like the past years of his life were a rollercoaster, full of so many ups and downs 

he was finally happy thanks to The Dream Team

for the first time in years he felt normal thanks to his friends

after years of pain jeno deserved it

that's when he met you and his life got even better

y/n l/n, another gifted 

jeno met you after a fight, The Dream Team was hugging each other on their job well done when you approached 

you'd been watching them the whole time without them knowing

curious by what they were doing and their powers you used your own to spy

if someone asked jeno what his first impression of you was it wouldn't be hard, he’d tell them that your powers suited you 

you were awkwardly, fumbling over your words as you tried to speak to them

it was hard for you to explain what you were trying to

after nearly 10 minutes of you trying to talk and haechan complaining you finally spit it out 

“i was watching you guys and i want to help you. now my powers might seem very useless to you guys but if you really think about it, i could be very helpful. i could make a great distraction!”

jeno wanted you to join right away but he knew the others wouldn't agree

haechan looked at everyone and spoke up “ well a) we don't even know what your powers are and b) this team kinda consists of friends and you dear person are a stranger who is nameless im assuming as you didn't even tell us your name,,if you have one ”

you immediately looked away at his words before stomping your foot on the ground and pouting 

“MY NAME IS Y/N L/N AND I CAN TURN INVISIBLE!” you yelled at the top of your lung startling everyone

obviously you went invisible and jeno freaked out

“no wait y/n don't go! we won't let you join right away but you can hang out with us to see how things go!” he hollard earning him looks from his friends

they could tell why jeno was so eager for you to join, the fool had fallen in love by simply staring at you 

the rest was history

you joined The Dream Team as their manager/assistant type of person, soon after you and jeno started dating, and of course you became friends with them all

jeno loved you, you were always there for him and putting a smile on his face

you both got shy from affection so you never did any in front of the boys but that didn't stop them from teasing you nonetheless

almost everyday you and jeno went to a cafe for drinks

“would you rather have your current powers or haechans power?”

youd ask making jeno laugh “i think id rather have mine because if I had haechans powers,,i might not have met my friends or most importantly,,you”

jeno and you were in love, both having rough pasts where neither of you were born with your powers and a freak accident caused them, and both of your parents abandoned you and you moved in with a close friend

which only made you guys closer

one of the things jeno loved about you the most was how caring you were during a fight, especially the particularly bad ones

like the time jenos nose was broken after getting smashed in the face with a cat figurine 

you pouted and told jeno you wished you were jaemin and could heal him with your smile

which caused jaemin to jokingly yell at you saying that healing smile was his thing and you needed to get your own brand 

today was one of those bad fights

the boys went in to fight what at first was only one villain but that one villain had a team they didn't know about

the boys were almost all separated 

renjun was drawing as fast as he could, his creations starting to look more and more like a 5 yr old drew them

the weather was close to a hurricane thanks to haechan 

jaemin was freaking out and smiling like a psychopath , without knowing who he was if you saw him you'd think he escaped from an insane asylum 

chenle and jisung were together, about to pass out from using so much power

it was going bad but it got even worse when jeno got separated from the rest

trapped in a room with one of the bad guys he felt his panic arrise 

‘i dont have time for this,’ he thought, images of his friends struggling flashing in his head

the guy lunged forward and hit jeno with a good blow, blood splattering on the wall

jeno felt his panic be replaced with anger

he was practically shaking from his irritated he was

“i know about you and your team, i know who you really are. you're a bunch of highschool kids, did you really think you could beat us?” the asshole spoke 

jeno stared up at him as he added one “i know you're dating that freaky bitch that goes invisible to distract us.”

the smirk on the guys face made jeno feel disgusted

hearing the words he spoke not only about his friends but you sent him over the edge

you were the guys that saved jeno

“where is that bitch anyway? arent they normally he-” he didn't get to finish his sentence

swords appeared in the air, piercing through the air at rapid speed

the man was stabbed multiple times

he gurgled up his own blood, coughing in pain as he fell onto the floor

“fucking bitch,” he said while clutching his chest in pain

jeno was about to leave when he heard a horrible sound

“je,,,jeno,” a disturbed sweet honey-like voice coughed out 

his stomach dropped and his heart felt heavy 

“y,,,y/n?” he turned around, tears already pouring down his face

your ribs had been broken like twigs, gashes oozed with that desparible red liquid, your mouth was hanging slightly open as more of the liquid steadily poured out

your face began to pale, your eyes already looked lifeless

falling against the wall you slid down, a trail of blood being left behind from where your back was placed

“I just wanted to help,” your voice was barely above a whisper, you sounded so broken

“y/n!!” jeno screamed almost as loud as chenle 

running to you his knee betrayed him and gave out inches form your body

“oh my god,,what have i done,” he involuntarily sobbed, body shaking from screams 

warm tears flowed down his cheeks like a waterfall, leaving behind a wet trail of despair 

“no no no,,oh my god,, JAEMIN!!!!” he screamed for his friend to come save you

if you saw his smile, if you saw Jaemin you would be fine like it never happened

only a few seconds had passed but jeno was screaming out begging for jaemin to hear him and come

getting closer to your body, jeno wrapped his arms around and held you

not caring about the copious amounts of blood covering his clothes

“you'll be okay y/n, jaemin is gonna save you,” he didn't sound sure, it was as if he was convincing himself instead of you

you never spoke or moved, all you did was stare at jeno

rising slowly, you painfully and involuntarily took in more breaths

your lungs, it felt as if they were being ripped apart from the inside, only filling with more blood 

“i,,i just wanted to help,” you barely managed to get out before your breathing stopped entirely and head falling onto jenos shoulder

his mind, blanked of everything 

every thought, every memory, everything was gone

everything except one thing, you

your image burned in his head

the wind was knocked out of him, his while body felt numb, he couldn't breathe

he knew he was breathing but he kept choking 

the tears blurred his vision as they rapidly fell

he felt so hopeless, he,,he killed you

he should've known you were in the room with him, like you'd ever let him get separated from everyone

you always came to the fights as a backup or distraction

“I should've known,” he cried

jaemin,,he wanted to be mad at him, he wanted to scream and hit him, make him suffer the way you did but he couldn't

jaemin was busy, probably exhausted form smiling and using his powers

the door to the room creaked open

jeno assumed it was his friends, if not it was the villains and that meant everyone except him was dead

“oh my god jeno what happened,” renjun spoke, rushing to jenos side

jisung stared with his mouth hung open, wondering how he never knew this would happen, he gripping tightly on chenles arm

chenle let out a ear piercing yelp as he leaned closer to jisung

haechan stared at your lifeless body, rain starting to pour matching his tears

jaemins heart stopped when he saw the damage, knowing that he could've saved you

“y/n,,y/n,” jaemin cried while smiling at you praying that it would work

the tension in the room only grew as each other second past

 each member of the team morning in their own way for their fallen 

y/n l/n the “nameless’ stranger who approached them with wishes to be one of them, y/n l/n the loveable person who lit up jenos dark world more than is friends ever could, y/n l/n the mysterious invisible member of the dream team who just wanted to help

[vvsnct]

Highway To Heaven

[part 4]

After 6 and a half hours of laughing, singing (more like screaming), bickering, and talking, Mark had surprised the 7 of us for the night by stopping at a small beach deep in a ghost town he had found. We all agreed to stay there for the night and sleep in the car because of how beautiful the beach was and the fact that the “car” was a van that could fit all of us in to sleep overnight. Chenle was ecstatic with the choice since he has an eye for photography and loves to take pictures of everyone and everything surrounding him. “Lele, these pictures came out beautiful!”, I exclaimed while he scrolled through the pictures on his camera and smiled. “They wouldn’t have come out this beautiful if you weren’t in them.” I blushed and pushed him away while he started laughing. On the other hand, Hyuck was running after Mark to try to get him in the cold ass ocean water just cause, Jaemin, Jeno, and Renjun took off to take advantage of the ethereal scenery and Jisung sat in the back of the van watching the sunset. “Lele, let me take pictures of you, you never have any because you’re too busy capturing everyone else!”, I offer. He shakes his head and laughs,“ I’d rather not, I’m not the most photogenic person here I’d rather spend time taking pictures of actual beautiful people.” I scoff and hit him playfully, “Chenle you’re literally the cutest person I know let me take pictures of you pleaseeee.”, I say through a pout. He stares at me with a blank expression and my pout intensifies. “Fine”, he breaks and I yelp in victory. I take a couple of pictures of him posing, being goofy, and a couple candids and showed them to him he scrunches his nose and shakes his head. “Chenle,I’m literally gonna sock you in the forehead these are cute.”, I argue while snickers at my reaction. He thanks me and goes off to take pictures of the sunset and I sit next to Jisung watching all of the madness that the other 6 boys are displaying. He looks at me and asks, “What are you worrying about now, Ms. Y/N?”. I shake my head and respond, “You already know, I’m nervous about tonight and how it’s going to go.” He scoffs and motions for me to get closer and now he has an arm around my shoulders and my back is up against his upper body. “Y/n, you’re going to be just fine, Mark loves you very much and he wouldn’t purposely want to hurt you there’s no need to be so negative about the outcome.”, he explains slowly. “I know I just don’t want to lose him or have him weirded out with me because now he’s gonna know who I’ve indirected countless of times and i don’t want him to be weirded out with the amount of times I’ve posted him on my Instagram or-“, Jisung interrupted, “Trust me, the last thing that’s going to happen is him being weirded out by the attention you give him believe it or not y/n, he thrives off of your attention.” I go to interject but he puts a finger up and I roll my eyes while motioning him to continue. “Anyways”, he continues, “Like I said before, Mark isn’t going to give you a hard time just relax if he doesn’t say anything that means he needs time to process don’t take anything personal ok?” I nod and pout, he snickers and places a kiss on my head and reassures me everything’s gonna be ok. He gets up and motions me to go join the other 6 idiots and I protest, “Jisung, I don’t want tooooooo.” He rolls his eyes and grabs me by the wrist and pulls me to go join the others

Hours Pass

Everyone settled down and got changed into new clothes because eventually everyone got thrown into the ocean (courtesy of Donghyuck and Mark). Almost everyone was asleep except Mark and I. Jaemin fell fast asleep on top of Jeno, Chenle fell asleep editing pictures, Renjun fell asleep in the middle on Donghyuck’s shoulder and Jisung fell asleep in the back of the van. I was in the front seat of the van and Mark was sitting on the edge of the car watching the ocean. I debated for minutes that felt like hours but right when I was going to fail, I kept on replaying what Jisung said earlier and I caved. I got out of the van and sat next to Mark he smiled softly and continued looking out at the ocean. I wish he knew how beautiful he looked with his beautiful black locks and his tan skin adorned with that breathtaking smile of his. The silence was comfortable, just him and I with the waves crashing in the background. “Hey, Mark?”, I broke the silence. He looked at me and hummed. “I’ve been really having fun on this trip, thank you for planning it everyone is eternally grateful.”, I start off subtly. He smiles and responds, “Don’t mention it honey, I really wanted a time to bond with all of you before I leave.” I blush at the second the word honey leaves his mouth but he didn’t notice. “I have something important to tell you, Mark.”, I say with a little quiver in my voice. His attention gets diverted to me as he heard the quiver. “I-I don’t have an easier w-way to say this but can you p-please l-listen to me and wait until I’m d-done.”, I manage to spit out. He nods with evident concern on his face featuring his puppy dog eyes that are my weakness. “Mark Lee, I kind of sort of have a crush on you.”, I confess quickly. His eyes widen and I look away. “From the first time Jisung introduced me to you, I knew I was going to have something special towards you, as time passed my feelings got stronger and stronger and I physically couldn’t not be away from you.”, I continued. “I just want you to know, you mean the literal world to me and I, Y/N Y/L am head over heals in love with you.”, I barely finish with a lump in my throat. You could cut the tension with a knife. He finally breaks it by clearing his throat, “Y/N, I’m so sorry but I genuinely don’t know what to say.” I nod with tears in my eyes still watching the waves clash back and forth. “Y/N I don’t want to be the cause for your tears, you deserve better than that.”, he says trying to grab my hand. I slowly take my hand away and look at him with tears rolling down my face, “Is that all you have to say?”. He stammers, “Y-Y/N I’m so sorry but I don’t see you the same way, you’re like my little sister I don’t know how you could develop feelings for someone like me.” I scoff and more tears start flowing down my face, “Mark, you made me feel like I was the only girl in the world and the others constantly called us a married couple you can’t blame this on me.” He shook his head and quickly responded, “No Y/N I didn’t mean it like that I’m sorry-“. “Mark I’m going to sleep I can’t continue to hurt like this anymore.”, I interrupt him as I start going to the back of the van. He grabs my wrist and says, “Y/N I don’t want you going to bed upset come on we can talk about this-“, “Mark, there’s NOTHING to talk about, I already know how you feel and I’m ok with it now if you’ll excuse me, I’m tired goodnight Mark.”, I interjected choking back on a sob. He looked at me with a sad face and nodded understanding my choice while muttering, “goodnight y/n, sweet dreams.” I opened the trunk to see Jisung fast asleep with covers up to his nose. I climbed in and I poked him softly to wake him up. He opened his eyes and frowned at my crying face. He opened the covers and his arms and pulled me close to his chest and I started sobbing into his arms. He put his chin on my head and hummed to calm me down. “It’s all going to be ok, Y/N, I love you try to get some sleep to forget about it”, he groggily whispered. I nodded and hugged him tighter.

Little did I know, Mark and I weren’t the only ones awake.

-

[intro] [intro.5]

[previous] [part 4] [next]

Masterlist

an// aw shit a lot went down in one chapter and I’m kinda taken aback myself. you guys don’t understand how I had second hand nervousness for y/n I was literally texting my best friend while I was writing it and she was clowning me LMAO. well how are y’all liking the fic? my asks are open and my messages are always open ^_^! I hope you all have/had an amazing day/night! Thank you for all the support on the AU without any of you guys I wouldn’t be able to write/find the motivation to write so thank you so much!

summary

It’s Mark’s last summer before he goes off to college, what is he gonna go? PLAN A SURPRISE ROADTRIP! To where? Literally no one knows. Mark just rented a car from the 90’s that looks questionable as hell. What happens on this trip is headassery and memories that last a lifetime and maybe, a little more.

[whaechan]

do you have any markhyuck fic recs?

Heyo! I’m so sorry it took me so long to get to this, but I went through most of the nct fics I’ve read so far and picked out all the markhyuck fics that I really enjoyed. I’ll list them down for you, w a summary, word count etc. Hope you’ll enjoy reading these! c: (I’ll mark my favourite ones with a ♡ )

Sunny Afternoon - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 8,1k

mark didn’t mind summer, he really, really didn’t. in fact it might even be one of his favorite seasons, but working his summer away in an ice cream parlour wasn’t really his definition of a good time.that is until one day a boy, who glowed like the summer sun, stumbled into the shop.

♡ A Little Extraordinary - Markhyuck (+ sidehsips) - Wordcount: 118k

it’s not exactly normal to have a strange boy climbing through your bedroom window in the dead of night. it’s even more unusual to have this become a regular occurrence.

mark tries his best to take it all in his stride but it all get’s decidedly difficult when a growing crush and a murky backstory keep trying to trip him up.

Summer Dreams - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 15,7k

The purpose of having a summer holiday was to stay up late and sleep in as late as possible. It was not there to be used as an excuse to get dragged along to Seoul with one’s parents to make them look good for a business deal that would greatly help the family company, and yet, this was the situation that Donghyuck found himself in.

♡  Pandorica - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 40k

“Huh,” Mark huffs, pursing his lips. “What can I do to change your mind?”

“Kiss me again,” Donghyuck says, leaning down again. “Consider it your makeup test.”

Courage, Dear Heart - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 5,6k

Mark takes Donghyuck home with him to Vancouver to meet his parents and to propose. It’s all sunshine and rainbows, except they aren’t actually together.

Today, too, the policeman sits (by the busker’s empty pitch) - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 15k

Seoul Police Officer Mark Lee is reassigned to a quiet town, population ~1k. Which is, of course, where he meets the most troublesome (read: annoying) repeat offender of his entire career: street violinist Lee Donghyuck.

Alternatively: Mark is a cop, but who exactly is pursuing who is anyone’s guess.

The Sound of Birds - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 1,8k

Mark wakes up (like he does every morning) to the sound of the obnoxious ringtone he’s set for Donghyuck. He doesn’t know why he expects today to be any different.

♡  Creature of Habit - Markhyuck, Markno - Wordcount: 18,4k

If Jeno was the angel on Mark’s shoulder, then Donghyuck was the devil, and Mark wanted to do something that felt wrong, even just once.

♡  I look for myself within you - Markhyuck, Markmin/Jaemark(?)  - Wordcount: 52,5k

Donghyuck cared about nothing, and Mark cared a little too much about everything.

Baby you’re brighter than the sun - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 6,2k

Where Donghyuck starts to get cute notes and gifts from an unknown person

Leaf the plants alone! - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 4k

Your eyes are warm, your skin is sun-kissed and all I want to do is drown in your honey golden locks but your cat is an absolute jerk!

♡  Hopeless hearts just passing through (I was made for loving you) - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 70,7k

Donghyuck’s mother was the demon looming over his shoulder. She painted his life with harsh greys, desolate blues and destructive reds. So when she pushes him to a cage with Mark, he knows there’s no escape but he also knows he wants to love the man he married. So he tries.

He succeeds.(It was never hard anyway)

♡  Retrouvaille - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 12k

The universe made sure they met over and over again.

That AU where Mark and Donghyuck meet in high school and later all over the world until the red-haired boy finally stopped running.

The weekend, or whatever - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 8,8k

Donghyuck snorts. “And I’m the extra one.”

“I guess you’re rubbing off on me,” Mark shrugs and sets off quietly.

The nohyuck two hit wonder (series) - Markhyuck, Hyuckno/Jehyuck(?) - Wordcount: 13k & 14k

Jeno has returned to Daegu after years of staying away. Mark and Donghyuck are pleased but Jeno isn’t here to stay.

He’s running out of time. Fast.

♡  The Johntenhyuck family chronicles (series) - Johnten, side Markhyuck - Wordcount: 8,8k

A fic where Johnten live together with Johnny’s little brother, Donghyuck, who’s kind of like their son

Set my heart high (like a volleyball) - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 19,1k

Mark and Donghyuck belong to rival high schools and they hate each other’s guts — they’re not even subtle about this statement. They think the universe must be playing a joke on them when they end up in the same university auditioning for the same volleyball team.

♡  In Bloom - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 2,7k

Lately, whenever Mark’s with Donghyuck, he’s had to worry about the flowers in his cheeks. There’s something about Donghyuck that makes them blossom, spreading across his face, turning his cheeks into meadows.

Make Me Over - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 7,3k

“As far as summer jobs went, working part time at the mall’s Sephora wasn’t the worst.”

In which Donghyuck falls hard for the boy in a muscle tee who walks into his Sephora not knowing the difference between a pan of blush and a palette of eyeshadow.

Wanna be Startin’ Sometin’ - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 10,1k

“Mark wasn’t lost. He wasn’t. He was merely temporary disoriented, if that. He’d find his way back on the trail in no time, and back to the campsite in half that.”

or, the fic where Hyuck’s a park ranger, and Mark’s never left the city

♡  Rewrite the Stars - Markhyuck, side Renmin - Wordcount: 54,5k

Donghyuck’s got a crush. He’s the perfect boy– he’s cute, he’s polite, he cooks. Donghyuck’s friends even like him. The catch? He’s a robot.

You’re my open road - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 4k

“Can I paint your nails?”

Spinning it faster is not always the best choice - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 8,1k

When Donghyuck first meets Mark, the boy has his hand stuck in a washing machine. Thirty minutes later, he falls in love.

The Search for Everyting - Markhyuck, Noren - Wordcount: 43,7k

Mark Lee is on his last year of high school, and he is going on a road trip with his best friend Jeno before they graduate. The thing is, they have to bring Jeno’s boyfriend Renjun, and they also encounter a stowaway who really should be anywhere but under the cabinet of a small sink in the back of their van.

This is a story of summer, long road trips, unwashed bodies, broken hearts, stupid mistakes, young love and growing up. Come join four boys as they journey on a search for everything.

One of Us - Markhyuck (+ side ships) - Wordcount: 18,1k

Donghyuck’s new flatmate Mark doesn’t seem any different from expected. He’s nice and polite, and pretty darn cute too. All of that changed when Mark returned home one night with a bloody shirt and a gun in his hand.

Drills and Flowers - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 6,5k

Donghyuck works in a flower shop. Mark works in the mechanic’s opposite the street. One day he came in and crushed Donghyuck’s flowers. Donghyuck tells him to go fuck himself. Mark says he would rather fuck him.

End of the World - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 6,9k

Mark wonders who will love him until the end of the world. Then enters Lee Donghyuck, a person who doesn’t believe in it.

Or alternatively, Mark is heartbroken after Jaemin leaves him for his best friend. Donghyuck becomes the only person he can rely on.

♡  Frostbite - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 4,4k

According to Renjun, Donghyuck just needed a push in the right direction. Donghyuck didn’t think he meant down a hill, racing Mark to the finish line on a sled.

♡  Out of Your Mind - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 7,1k

Mark just wants to be a regular teenager. Or as regular as an eighteen-year-old sharing his body with a demon can get. And unfortunately for him, Donghyuck loves making things complicated.

♡  Spring Break (All Your Bones) - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 7k

Donghyuck is for Saturday mornings after sleepovers Mark would never admit he enjoys and summer afternoons sitting on sun warmed sidewalks with sugary ice cream melting in their mouths and down their fingers. Donghyuck is his childhood and adolescence, and Mark spends spring break getting reacquainted.

Of All The Bad Ideas - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 10,3k

Donghyuck has been pining after Mark Lee since the first year of high school, and now they’re four years deep and Donghyuck’s feelings are still hurtling towards imminent heartbreak. He’s always been an impulsive decision maker, but he should have thought a bit harder on this one.

One by One (series) - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 14,3k

Mark and Donghyuck work their way through first love, from awkward kissing lessons to long night drives through sleeping neighborhoods. (AKA the Markhyuck Making Out series)

Simple as ABC, there’s only you and me - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 10,7k

0 mile. 6000 miles. 10 miles. 0 mile.

No matter how far or near Donghyuck is, Mark decided a long time ago to love that boy and never let him go.

Fall of a Thousand - Markhyuck - Wordcount: 14,6k

Growing up, Mark has only ever known of one constant in his life, Donghyuck.

Whether that’s meant to be a good or bad thing however, is a decision resting on fate itself.

And here are a few fics with other ships that I came across while looking around that I really liked

Words in Your Hands - Markno, Hyuckmin(?) - Wordcount: 10k

Mark is sure that Jeno is interested in Renjun so he ignores all his attempts at flirting. He really wishes Jeno would just stop; it’s not good for his heart.

♡ Love (That’s All There Is To It) (series) - Norenminhyuck - Wordcount: part 1, 4,4k

Most people don’t get it.

(Donghyuck has three boyfriends and he’s totally content, regardless of what people think)

♡  We look for stranger things (’cause that’s just who we are) (series) - No ships, just the dreamies - Wordcount: part 1, 7,9k

Just a bunch of strange teenagers finding home in one another.

Have a cup of cheer - Hyuckmin(?) - Wordcount: 3,1k

Jaemin goes on a romantic Christmas non-date with Donghyuck.

And some shameless selfadvertising

Surprise Kiss - Markhyuck - Wordcount; 800

Wherein Mark decides to just take a leap of faith towards the amazing being that is Donghyuck.

aka mark gets an idea on how to shut donghyuck up when he starts rambling again

And that’s all I have so far! This literally took me around.. four hours to do oh my god :))))) So I hope you guys like these fics otl ;;

If any of the links aren’t right or whatever please hmu so I can fix it, thanks!

[haikuna]

Sunnyside

A/N: It’s been a year since I’ve written anything substantial and I’m kinda happy with this one. This fic was written as a gift for one my favorite kiddos Keet aka @tickles614. I love her to death and I wish her a very happy birthday! Enjoy!

Gif belongs to @nakamotens. 

Pairing | Donghyuck x Reader Genre | Fluff, High School Au Warnings | None Word Count | 5k+

Lee Donghyuck likes to keep things on the sunnyside.

Dew Drops.

10 PM is rolling around when Lee Donghyuck stops to glance at you from the bottom rung of the jungle gym. He’s got dew drops in his hair and you on his mind, and moonlight seems like nothing, when your boyfriend’s giving you a look like pure daylight.

“It’s getting late,” he calls out to you, his hands finding grip on your ankles, as your legs swing about from atop the monkey bars. The wind’s running round the two of you in circles, biting in the way the winter air always is, and Hyuck doesn’t miss the way you’ve pulled your jacket around you tighter, closer, how you’ve folded your sleeves up and over your hands, and how your cheeks have turned a dusted rose. His grip on you tightens, subtle in the way he moves, as his lips curl into a Cheshire grin, “You getting cold yet?”

“Not yet,” You cast your gaze up at the sky, only for your eyes to return to him and all his mussed up glory. In a voice you think only you can hear you tell him, “You’re keeping me warm,” but most of you wants him to hear that too.

And he chuckles at that, takes his foot off the base of the gym and turns his back to you. His hands are in his pockets, his shoulders ever so hunched in the way they are at 10 PM when the lights are low and when posture means nothing since the only one around is the girl he already knows loves him too, “Yeah, well we better get home soon. You’re doing that thing again.”

“What thing?”

“That thing where you start being hopelessly in love with me,” he says, in a voice like honey, hands fumbling about behind him as they reach outward to find you, “Always happens at this hour.”

“Not a thing,” you call back, though you surrender to him, climbing down from your throne of rain weathered steel, before you’ve wound yourself around his frame, legs hooked around his waist, and your chin finding home as it settles into the curve of his neck, “I love you at all hours.”

He’s giving you a look of feigned disgust, but you press a kiss against his cheek despite it. You feel him melt against the contact, and he does so very little to hide it, only holds you tighter, while you giggle a sound like wind chimes, “And there she goes again,” he groans, though you know he doesn’t mean it.

The two of you say your goodbyes to the other kids in all states of trouble and doom, scattered about the playground of your old elementary school. Before the two of you can make your way completely off the lot, winds rushing past you in the forms of Na Jaemin and Lee Jeno, fast on their bikes, and careless in the way they choose to brake against the gravel.

“Heading home?” Jaemin asks through his signature grin, that splitting one only he knows how.

Donghyuck nods, and you do too, and your best effort is made to match your friend’s energy, though you know at this time of the night, your cheeks are weak from fatigue and chilled by that cool air that hangs about you. Your voice breaks out in a sleepy sound, your chin still propped atop of Donghyuck’s shoulder, and you’re speaking around a half-contained yawn, “Class at 7:30 tomorrow, Nana. As usual.”

“And back to jail we go,” Jaemin chuckles, shifting the gears of his bike as he prepares to set off again, “Get home safe, alright,” He says, his statement capped by a careful pat on your head, and then he’s pedaling off and up the highest peak of the playground, fist raised towards the sky, and his voice a careless song as he calls out, “FUCK SENIOR YEAR,” to no one in particular.

You find Jeno laughing beside the two of you, before his feet catch on the pedals of his bike and he follows where Jaemin goes, carrying on his friend’s song in his own quieter tone, before the playground in its entirety has erupted in the same calls of playful rebellion.

You gather what’s in you too, and raise a fist to the air to join, belting out a loud, “FUCK SENIOR YEAR,” beside the ear of your unsuspecting boyfriend, who groans at the action, before he chuckles and calls out too.

“Their parents are gonna kill em, aren’t they,” You inquire, as you settle yourself into Donghyuck’s embrace again.

He’s making his way off of the lot finally, cutting through the open field of grass, to the short cut he knows leads in the direction of your home. He laughs at your statements, sliding his hands out from his pockets to instead hook around your thighs for better balance, “If they cut it close enough to midnight again, yeah. And they’re stupid enough to, so you know they will.”

“Good thing I’ve got you,” You mutter, and your voice rides the motion of Donghyuck’s heavy footsteps, “Good boy like you won’t keep me out too late.”

“Oh yeah, I’m the best boy, sure,” he chimes out sarcastically, “Not like I’ve got a straight-laced girlfriend, who’s gotta be home before her parents decide being on the soccer team isn’t reason enough to not kill me.”

“The best boy.”

“Damn right I am,” his voice slips out in a tired huff, though you know he’s still smiling, “You heard back from Berkeley yet?”

You get quiet at that, tuck your face into the crook of his neck, like you’re trying to disappear. You know Donghyuck finds you utterly endearing when you pull things like this, but he’s known you long enough to understand when an issue runs deeper, when you’re not talking because you’re not sure how to, rather than when you just don’t want to.

“Y/n,” he sings out to you, “Babe, you’ve gotta at least tell me, if you’re not gonna tell anyone else.”

You contemplate giving in for a fraction of a second at the sound of his voice calling to you so sweetly, but embarrassment rushes back into your system when you think of that off-white letter that had come in the mail just a few days earlier, the one that told you you just weren’t quite good enough, “No,” you fire back just a second off beat, and you tuck your nose back where it was against the side of his neck, “You’re going to be mean to me.”

Donghyuck ducks into an alley made by two rickety houses, sets you down on your feet, and settles himself against the towering oakwood fence, “Well we’re not going anywhere until you tell me,” he says before he twists his body, so he towers over you, “And maybe, I might be mean, but that’s because you’re a nerd, and it doesn’t mean I stop liking you.”

“I just,” You start, and your eyes are looking anywhere but him, until you feel a hand on your chin, and his eyes are urging you to continue, “waitlisted,” you finally manage, and you fight the sense of shame that creeps up your nerves.

“Waitlisted?” He repeats, like he’s trying out the word on his tongue. You roll your eyes at your boyfriend, who had likely never been graced with the bitter reality of rejection. A soccer savant like himself had little to worry about when it came to college and other futures. You often think that’s why he liked occupying his time with you, someone so grounded in reality.

“Waitlisted,” You say again, and your shoulders sink, “I suck, don’t I?”

“I mean, yeah,” He says, and before you can be too hurt by his response, he continues, “You had me thinking it was a flat-out rejection. Babe, you’re the only person I know that’d be so tilted over being waitlisted at one of the best colleges in the nation.”

“I didn’t get in,” You try to counter, and he cuts you off with a kiss that tastes like strawberries and a smile that feels like home and you know better than to fall prey to tricks like this, but Lee Donghyuck knows how to unravel you in ways like no other.

“Don’t care,” he says, with eyes the size of the moon, “You’re gonna get in,” his words carry on, his hand resting against your waist in assurance as his head tilts ever so slightly, “I’m the best boy, I would know. Unless, you think I’m not?”

And you giggle at that, that giggle that sets Lee Donghyuck’s heart aflame, and you nod, “You are the best boy.”

He’s happy with that answer, you know, because he leans in to kiss you once again, one that’s quick and fleeting, but tells you he loves you in all the ways you wanted most, and his hand has shifted from where it sat along the curve of your waist, sliding down your forearm until it links with your own. His head snaps up to the blackened sky, an expanse that sits on the edge of navy and remains stained by miles and miles of glittering stars. And even so all you can see is the dew drops that dance along the strands of Donghyuck’s hair, falling down against his cheeks, forming a kinda grin that matches your own.

It’s 10 o’ clock at night, but when Lee Donghyuck is looking at you from under that curtain of thick brown hair, you think you’re being flooded in daylight.

Red.

Prom night finds Lee Donghyuck on your doorstep, in the top half of his baby pink suit, and a mop of hair that has yet to see the teeth of a comb. You might’ve thought he looked perfectly normal, if not a little unkempt, had you missed his legs clothed in a pair of pink shorts, a shade off from his entire ensemble. They display his knees, in a horrible, scraped up state, quaking ever so subtly as they work fruitlessly to keep him upright. Donghyuck had told you the selling point of his prom get up would be his daring choice of pink.

All you really see is red.

You see it through the patches of gauze that have been haphazardly taped against his knees, falling apart and just about useless in their function, as they do nothing to quell the trails of blood that come dripping down his shins.

“Jeno didn’t have band aids?”

“Not a single one,” Donghyuck replies and shifts his body against your door frame, “He should be dead by now, I swear.”

You shake your head at that, kicking the door behind you as it moves to close again, “But he was willing to offer you his shorts.”

“That he was.”

“Nice kid,” you grin in amusement, moving yourself aside for Donghyuck to pull himself up and into your home. You hook an arm around his waist, and let his drape across your shoulder, up close seeing the disheveled state of his being, in perhaps an even greater magnitude, “So prom isn’t happening, is it?”

“Have a spare wheel chair?” He suggests, but only jokingly, as he hoists himself off of you to fall against the wall. His hands pat around at the surface in an effort to find his bearings as he heads in the direction of the bathroom.

“I think you’re being a little dramatic,” you call after him, with a shake of your head, propping your elbow up onto the bannister of the stairs as you watch your boyfriend fumble about your house, “But no prom it is.”

“No prom,” he calls out from inside the room before his head pops out to greet you again, and you see him throwing something at you with no warning. It falls to the ground, not unexpectedly, and Donghyuck rolls his eyes before he’s tucked back away under the iridescent light, “Nice catch, nerd.”

You ignore his taunts as you move from where you stand to pick up the item he so carelessly threw down, “You need any help in there?” You ask, though, you already know he doesn’t.  Donghyuck was always starving for your affection, but he cared less for being coddled.

You hear the sound of the faucet running, before Donghyuck seals the room with a loud bang and the undignified utterance of fuck. Donghyuck’s sitting himself on the floor right now, you can hear it in the clumsy thuds that erupt from the other side of the wall, “That wasn’t supposed to be as loud as it was, sorry.”

“S’okay,” You call back, taking a look at the sunflower he had chucked into the ground, perhaps not purposefully, but not gracefully in any discernable way. Its petals flare out in warm shades of gold, its stem cloaked in winding streams of ribbon.

The gift is almost elegant, you think. Too elegant for Lee Donghyuck. But then you see the ends of the ribbon, tied with little care or attention around a zip loc bag, filled to the top with Lucky Charms. Better yet, just the marshmallows.

And it’s that fact that made it perfect.

“This is a hell of a corsage,” you joke, leaning against the wall outside the bathroom.

“Like you would’ve wanted anything else,” he says back, his tone teasing to match your own. He throws the door open as he makes his way out, still limping in his steps, though you don’t think he really needs to.

He gives you a peck on the cheek — in the casual way he always does — before he’s catching your hand and guiding you to your living room couch.

 It’s horror movies for the two of you, hours wasted away against showings of Black Christmas and Shutter, until the room is flooded in moonlight, and you’ve become so entangled in one another, you aren’t quite sure what is you and what is him.

Donghyuck’s thumbs are tracing circles over the fabric that cascades over your hips, his smile making itself known against the curve of your cheek and you’re giggling again, and he never wants you to stop. It’s a mess, the both of you, with you all tied up in your skirt of chiffon, its color like sunset, and spilling around the two of you as you become a tangle of purples, pinks, and oranges. And Donghyuck brings his shade of red, tucked away under patches of white, but you know they’re still there in the way he kicks your legs away from his knees — the wounds still fresh and sharp in feeling.  

“Hey, I’m sorry I ruined prom night for you,” he manages out, a quiet sound against the screams and shouts that fire out from the speakers.

“You know I don’t really care,” You hum and shift your body so you lay on your back, settled into Donghyuck’s side and forcing him deeper in between the couch cushions, “Tickets were free anyway, only reason we were going.”

 “Yeah, I know, fuck prom,” he says as he gazes over you. You’re giving a look that’s all fluttering eyelashes and curious smiles, and he presses a kiss to your shoulder in an effort to channel the overwhelming sense of affection that floods his system, “But you look cute in this dress. I felt bad.”

 “Not going to prom doesn’t stop me from looking cute in this dress,” you offer, and reach your hand off the side of the couch to grab at your bag of Lucky Charms, laying it across your stomach and moving to feed your boyfriend a few.

He grins, obliging your offer with not protest at all, and his voice rises in pitch again, “Yeah, that comes pretty naturally to you.”

You nod in agreement, snag a few marshmallows for yourself, and plop them into your mouth — none to gracefully, “So why’d you get dropped on my doorstep like a hit and run victim?

And Hyuck sighs at that. He’s heated, but only mildly, and he’s rolling his eyes at the thought, “Jeno,” He seeths, but his passion falls somewhat flat, “you know Jeno.”

“Yeah, Hyuck, Jeno who is my neighbor,” You ignore the grave tone of your boyfriend’s voice and continue to chewchewchew away at your snack, “He just dropped you off at my house. Of course I know him.”

“He’s an asshole.”

You shake your head in disagreement at that, “Well, no, I think he’s kinda nice.”

“Yeah, well he charged at me going like,” he pauses, as if to think, “40 miles per hour on his stupid skateboard-”

“I don’t think you can get that fast on a skateboard.”

“Okay, babe,” He silences you with a handful of marshmallows, which you enjoy with no hesitation, “can you be on my side for, like, two seconds?”

“Okay okay, Jeno was mean,” you chuckle, bend your torso at the oddest angle just to lay a kiss across the apex of his nose, “Are you okay?”

He nuzzles his head into the velvet bodice of your gown, his hair peaking up at you in wayward tufts at the crown of his head, before he looks to you, his lips tilted by the most artificial frown. He’s looking so absolutely foolish as the expression stretches down the expanse of his skin, playing across the golden, sun-kissed features of his perfectly imperfect face, “I’ve got two gashes down my knees,” he speaks through his turned down lips, “I need you to kiss me better.”

You raise a brow at that, and the splitting grin that plays on your own lips rivals the theatrics of his, “Oh, is that all?”

“That’s all,” He says, voice little more than a whisper, as his lips meet yours.

Tonight, Lee Donghyuck’s lips tastes like sugar. They’re a saccharine sensation that speaks of horse shoes, and pots of gold, and moons that are now splayed out about the two of you, caught in your hair and the space between your two bodies. You kiss him again, and take that sunflower of a corsage in hand, let the petals brush up against his cheek as you part.

 “What’s the sunflower for?” You ask with closed eyes, inching towards him once again.

 “Sunflowers, you know,” he whispers, as he ducks his head down and into the hollow of your collar bone, “They turn towards the sunlight.”

 “So, I’m you’re sunflower?” You inquire, and your eyes are fluttering open.

 He looks at you, a gaze that peers out from under the curtains of his eyelashes, “If I can be your sun?”

 And you kiss him again, surrender to his lips that taste like Lucky Charms.

 To the boy that tastes like sunlight.

Boardwalk.

Donghyuck thinks he may never escape you.

But then again, he doesn’t think he’d ever want to.

He knows this when he’s ambling about Santa Monica, having long since abandoned Mark Lee inside H&M after his poorly thought out proposal to buy matching camo bro tanks. Donghyuck knew the idea was a mistake and he took no issue with letting the idea marinate with his best friend just a little longer.  

Hyuck finds you on a bench outside of The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, a mango tea in hand, which you sip in between sobering sobs. He’d seen you only hours ago when he’d dropped you off at your front door after school, and you were dressed in those same black jeans, the ones torn at the knees, topped by the last hoodie he’d left at your place. You look cute, he thinks, but he hates it when you cry.

“Alright, princess,” He sighs, hands stuffed in his pockets as he makes a move to stand just in front of you, “Are you gonna tell me why you’re crying now, or am I going to have coax it outta ya like usual?”

There’s a look of surprise when you glance up to meet his eyes, of course, never expecting to see him here. Had you known your boyfriend would be wandering the streets of Santa Monica alone, you would’ve never came there to cry and drown your feelings in flavored teas. You swipe at your eyes with the back of your hands, thankful you’d had the mind to remove your makeup before you left home to wallow in your own thoughts, but what you do next, Donghyuck may never have predicted.

Donghyuck finds himself almost swept off his feet, but in a sense more physically than you typically manage. He rocks back on his heels when you’ve launched upward and into him, arms circling around his neck, and tears that soak the front of his army green jacket. A whimper slips past your lips in a sound that breaks his heart, so he pulls you closer to ease the pain.

He hears a muffled sob coming from you, a sound that hits his chest and dies in the moment it’s uttered. He thinks it sounds something like the word “accepted”, but then, he hears nothing else.

“What?” Donghyuck questions, his grip loosening around you.

You make no move to free yourself from his embrace, turning your head and when you speak, it’s in a voice that sounds like shattered glass, “I’m off the waitlist,” you pause, “They accepted me.”

And your voice is breaking, eyes clouded in hot tears that roll and roll and roll down your skin, tears like acid which burn away in their trails.

There’s a momentary pause as Donghyuck considers what exactly he’s supposed to feel in the moment. He settles on confusion as he cranes his neck to peer down at you, “Then why are you crying?”

“Because now I have to go,” you sob harder, louder, and you break away from him, hands shoving at his chest, though you don’t mean to hurt him, “I don’t have an excuse anymore. I have to go.”

Donghyuck shakes his head, but he can’t seem to understand you. Not with the tears running down your cheeks and onto the pavement. Not with the way you can’t seem to look him in the eyes.

“I thought this was what you wanted, Y/N,” His voice is leveled as it tries to make sense of the situation. He’s navigating the air as best he can, but he can’t seem to find his ground, he tries to look at you, though you’re not looking back, “Isn’t it?”

You cry and cry and cry before you even think to look at him, and at some point, he wished you wouldn’t. Because the look in your eyes has him falling apart, and that breath you take as you try to force your words out all but kills him.

“Before I realized how far away it was from you,” you whisper, and your words fall apart into threads, “I don’t want to leave you.”

Your voices are dead in the air, and there’s a silence like suffocation, louder than the crowds that carry on around you. Santa Monica feels empty, and you’re left wondering if Donghyuck still remains too.

He’s still there, though, and you know from the way he’s rocking on his toes, from the raise of his brows, and the scuff of his shoes.

“Is that all?” he simpers, a look of inquiry tilting his features and his head, and he’s looking at you so expectantly.

“What?” You spit out in disbelief, and you find yourself almost angry. Almost. You’re not quite there yet, what with the way he’s looking at you so innocently under those lashes, and the way he moves his hand to take yours.

“Are you done?” He repeats, and thinks nothing of your tone.

“Did you hear what I just said?” You nearly scoff, feel the urge to tear your hand from his touch, but you’ve already melted against his skin, and he grins knowing you’ll never fight against it.

“Yeah,” he nods slowly, carefully, as he rocks on his feet again, “and I’m asking now if you’re done,” he pauses, though giving you little time to interject, “because if you are, I want you to follow me, and for just the next fifteen minutes, I’m going to need you to keep quiet, wipe those tears away, and just listen to me,” his hand that’s not otherwise occupied with yours finds it’s way to the side of your face, nudges away a strand of hair that’s fallen from your ponytail with the knuckle of his index finger, and his eyes have locked onto yours, a confident fire alight behind them, “For once.”

“Why aren’t you upset?” You whisper out dumbly.

“Because unlike you,” He sings out, and he’s got that smile again. The one that feels like daylight, like home and you’re melting in his hands again, “I already know everything’s gonna be alright.”

Donghyuck’s guidance leads you along the wooden planks of the boardwalk, headed to the very end of the pier. He’s got his hand in yours and his eyes set straight ahead, and he’s smiling, in a way you fail to comprehend. Santa Monica is sinking in a sky of violet and orange, colors that bleed into the ocean, as the waves slide and slide- one over another, and then again. And you find you can’t quite concentrate on any one thing. The sky is bleeding, and your boyfriend is smiling, and you can’t help the fact that you haven’t stopped crying.

“Ya know,” Donghyuck chimes, as he wipes another tear from your eyes without a glance down at you, “Berkeley, it’s not too far away.”

“It’s more than five hours,” you argue back, but you know he doesn’t care.

“And five hours isn’t too bad,” he shrugs, his feet stopping at the end of the pier, his body turning to face you as he props his arm up against the metal rails, “I do love driving.”

“You hate driving.”

“Yeah, but I kinda like seeing you,” He counters, a step taken to bring him closer to you, and he’s close enough to feel his breath fanning over the expanse of your cheeks, close enough to be blinded by the light of his grin, “Kinda love seeing you and I think five hours is worth it.”

You shake your head as he tries to close the space between you, your eyes trained on the ground, “But, are we gonna be okay, Hyuck?”

You see him thinking for a moment, glancing at your hand in his before he takes a second to look at that bleeding sky, and suddenly he’s winding himself around so he stands behind you, arms trapping you between his figure and the metal railings, “Alright, I’ll tell you what,” he says, and he rests his chin against your shoulder, “if the sun sets in a few minutes, we know we’re gonna be alright.”

You giggle a little through your tears that haven’t quite retreated, and you find yourself in awe of the way he’s got you smiling, when you feel like you’ve hit your worst.

“Of course it’s gonna set, Hyuck,” you answer him dumbly, and he smiles down at you, skin like gold and glowing under the orange hue of the sky.

“Then there’s no reason to worry, is there?”

And when the sun finds itself tucked away again, hidden beneath the horizon line, you find you’re only looking at Donghyuck. Looking at that smile that’s painted across his face, and at his hands that hold yours, no sign to say he ever intends to let them go.

You think the two of you are going to be just fine.

Sunshine.

“You didn’t check the weather?”

“No, I didn’t check the weather.”

“Of course you didn’t check the weather,” you huff and set yourself back into your seat.

“We live in California, Y/N,” Donghyuck fires back, and his voice is cracking at the ends. You giggle at the sound of his voice finding pitch, and he shoots a glare your way, before setting the car into park, “The weather never changes.”

The first day of summer following your freshman year of college finds you stranded on the side of a winding mountain road, in your boyfriend’s dying Honda Civic that you think could barely make the drive either way. The rain’s pounding down on the hood of his car, on the sloping roads, against each and every pain of glass, and you see nothing more outside but a haze of green that stains the sky and the ground, and the world seems like nothing around you. You think you should be scared, but then you’re safe where you are, with him by your side, and the rain, the lighting, and the roll of the thunder can’t hurt you when Donghyuck’s looking your way.

“So much for getting some sunlight,” you say teasingly, your hand pulling up on the lever that lets your seat fall back as far as it can.

“I’ll kick you out of this car, I swear,” He mumbles out, and he’s holding his phone out in front of him, looking for a signal he knows isn’t there.

“Alright, alright,” You laugh, and shoot him a toothy grin, one that tilts your lips in coquettish fashion, “But I know you wouldn’t.”

He huffs, stuffs his phone into the console and leans back too, “Shut up. I know you know.”

Sunshine’s the look Lee Donghyuck gives you when you’re sitting in the passenger seat of his car, windows cracked open so you can feel a sliver of the downpour that’s knock knock knockin on the hood, to the static hum of a radio that tunes itself against a lost connection. And sunlight feels so good when you’ve been deprived of it for so long.

You’ve taken Donghyuck’s hand in yours at this point, pressing a kiss against its back as you settle down in this world that’s flooding in pouring rain.

“So what do we do now?” You ask, and your voice is soft.

“You wanna complain about how bad I am at planning surprises?” He says bitterly, and you giggle again.

You shake your head, sitting yourself atop your knees as you twist your body so it’s aimed at him, “I don’t care that there’s no sunlight, Donghyuck,” and your eyes have fallen down to your hands, “All I wanted was you.”

He smiles at that and meets you halfway with that kiss that tastes of the best the world had to offer. He’s sunlight incarnate, and he looks to you like you’re the only thing that matters.

The first day of summer finds the two of you in the backseat of his civic, and you’re seated between his legs with a smile playing softly on your lips. He’s got his hands in yours, his nose in your hair, and Lee Donghyuck has never been happier at any point in his life.

“How’s Jeno?” you ask, like you’ve asked about all the other boys, and you’re shifting around so your nose rests just against his chest.

“Still an asshole,” he grumbles about, and kisses your hair once again.

“Yeah and?”

He rolls his eyes, “And he’s still not very good at soccer.”

“And?” You press on.

“And Lee Jeno is doing fantastic. He’s alive and well and he sends you his best wishes,” he squeezes your hand just the slightest bit tighter, and he gives you a frown that reminds you of the night of your senior prom, the one where’d he come to your doorstep all battered up, all beaten down and heated over none other than Lee Jeno. He gives you that very same look, as his voices rises in a pitiful little song, “Now, can you care about me a little more?”

“Sure, sure,” You mumble out, and place a kiss against the fabric of his shirt before your eyes peer upward to meet his, “You know I missed your smile.”

He nods at that, like he’s known all along — you know that he has — and he’s got his lips pulled into a sly little simper, “You’ve been mighty deprived, haven’t you?”

You shrug, and settle deeper into his embrace, “I need my sun.”

He sings back to you, in that voice like honey, “And I need my flower.”

Donghyuck finds he’s perfectly at peace where he is in this moment, after all he’s got a girlfriend with a voice like summer and a laugh like Christmas day, so he thinks it’s only right he presses kisses like spring flowers across your cheeks, and watches them change colors like falling leaves. And it’s in this dying civic on the edge of a winding road that the two of you slip into slumber, to the song of the pouring rain, with drops that look like silver on the window panes.

When you wake up, you find the rain has stopped. Donghyuck’s still asleep and splayed across his leather  seats, his arm wrapped around you in the tightest grip, and you give him a peck on his cheek to signal him of the clearing conditions.

“The rain’s gone?” He asks around a yawn, as he cranes his neck to look out the window. You give him a sleepy nod, and his lips pull up again in that goofy little grin, “So now we head to the sunny side?”

You nod again but then, you think you’re already there.

[nctzenchuu-blog]

Her favorite

Jisung/Reader

Genre: Slice of life(??), romance, drama

words: 2,855

Summary: It wasn’t that she never particularly expected him to have the characteristics of the standard ‘idol’ type that forced its way into the industry. The rehearsed greetings and responses that would make any girl swoon, but as he gave her a – what could only be described as choked,” Hello” on a Thursday night at her neighborhood’s corner store, the first thing that came across her mind was, “So his skin really is that damn good!?’’

 A/N: Okay I haven’t written a fic since I was a freshman so clearly, I suck. However, enjoy this first chapter since I really liked the plot I came up for the story, which will be filled with slow burn lol. Also, this is a slight au because I aged up the characters to fit with the comeback for ‘GO’ because it seemed to fit better than me writing abt minors which is weird. So please don’t come for my ass bc this is not gonna be rated R lol.

also please leave a message or heart if you want to see more of this story!

  Chapter 1: The night the moon said hello

 “Because it was raining/ I thought of you/ Because I thought of you/ I was like that/ It didn't mean anything/I hide under an umbrella/And pass by your house/Because I wanted to feel/The emotions of the old days again.”

-     Heize, you, clouds, rain

● ● ●

It would be an understatement to state that you wouldn’t have expressed the typical reaction any fan in your school would display if the – rather abrupt announcement that an idol group would be having a comeback this week should

provoke in you. However, it was clearly disregarded with a flushed expression, e by the rushed and thrilled whispers amongst your classmates, all visibly excited at the thoughts of seeing their handsome idols potentially holding a concert at your school. No, in fact you had almost damn near cracked the screen of your phone as you couldn’t believe the news that NCT’s subunit, NCT Dream, was having one of the, if not most talked about comeback in not only your school, but on the online forums as well.

NCT Dream, one of the newer idol boy groups in the industry, had been gaining a steady incline of popularity in their home country and globally. With the recent release of teasers for their new title track, “GO”, the group seemed to be a hot topic of conversation around you in class that morning.

Opening your backpack and reaching inside to gather your notebook and writing materials for the lecture your teacher would be giving over European monarchs for History class, you were temporarily halted by a small hand placed upon the top of your desk to gather your attention. Tearing your eyes away from the endless junk in your bag, your eyes trailed the arm of the person who distracted you, only to be face to face with your friend, Sunhye.

Face showing an obvious mirth with the small grin of her pastel coral painted lips, Sunhye greeted you with a bright, “Morning!” as you nodded in response, too tired to speak.

“Hey, pretty sure the news must have hit you by now. Don’t you think it’s awesome that NCT Dream is coming out with a new release? Jeno’s teaser was released today and I swear my heart really decided to fall out of my chest.” A hand was splayed across her chest while continuing,” Like, seeing him in colored contacts made me feel some type of things that only he could do.”

The humorous declaration of her opinion of the teasers bought out a whole-hearted laugh, seeing as it was no surprise to you about her undying love for the idol.

“If I tell you that I preordered three albums with the very high chance, yes, I calculated it, of getting Jisung’s photocard and his special poster at four in the morning screaming at my computer when it wouldn’t take my card doesn’t convince you, then you do not know how much I invest into this group.”

“Ah, you mean there’s the possibility of you getting into the fan sign they’re having this week, right? Jesus, if you somehow get in not only will I be indentured to you, but I’ll make sure Jisung won’t ever forget your face when you talk to him.” Sunhye declared with a ‘thumbs up’ gesture towards you.

“Sunhye,” you started, while smiling at the thought of meeting Dream happening. Fantasizing the thought of seeing the members and thanking them for everything they have done since debut, while holding hands or other silly things the idols would be sure to do as fan service brought about a chuckle within. Not only that, but the chance to see your idol in person was almost like taking a chance at winning the lottery- a rare chance that only a privileged group of individuals had the opportunity to do so, bringing forward a sense of anxiety and you wondered if you would even be selected when they announced the numbers that would be drawn for those who could attend the event. It was nerve-wracking. “Tonight, when you spend the night over at my house we might need to do a prayer that one of us gets drawn. If we don’t, we both might never see them at all.”

She called out your name with a sigh of exasperation, “Of course we will dummy, don’t you know how good my luck is with these things? I know we’ll both go-that’s a given. In fact,” she paused to pull out a crumpled bill of $20 and threw it at you to catch. An unspoken question of where she was going with this reflected in your eyes. “Twenty bucks says that you’ll see the love of your life before that and boom! Fate binds you two together.” With that, she gives a wave of departure and heads out your classroom when the bell rings, signaling the start of first period.

Looking at the monetary paper that was held in your palm, you could only scoff sarcastically that you would bump into Jisung, a popular idol, of all people in the streets. Yeah, the off chance that I would meet him only sounds like the cliché plotline of every drama airing right now-mhm, totally happening.

Your thoughts were interrupted when your teacher came into the classroom, beginning to write important notes about the topic today. Looking at the time on your phone, you became focused at the front of the classroom, easily forgetting the conversation you had moments before.

-

You waited at the front of the school, leaning against the rough surface of the gate for Sunhye as she had a student council meeting after school, and told you to wait for her when she was finished. With a long drawn out moan, you pulled up one of your social media apps, and began scrolling lazily on the screen to make the time go faster, skimming the posts from your online friends, and other accounts you followed. Eventually, your thumb halted on the screen as you read the words on the screen, absorbing the news that the music video for ‘GO’ would be released two days from now. Ah, you think, guess I’m staying up late again and skipping on homework.

Clicking the side of your phone to lock it, you heard footsteps heading your way. Raising your head up, Sunhye had stopped in front of you, honey brown hair moving around her from the light breeze of the afternoon.

“Sorry I’m late, student council discussed the upcoming schedule for the upcoming festival for the class we’re having next month,” she said quickly while adjusting the straps of her backpack on her shoulders.” I didn’t expect it to go on for that long, though. Can you forgive me?” she questioned softly, expecting you to respond negatively.

“I don’t mind Sun, it doesn’t bother me since we’re friends. However, I really can’t stand hanging around here any longer, so let’s starting heading to my house and we can do some homework. After that, we can put some sheet masks on and order some takeout because the new episode of our drama came out today.”

“All right, let’s get to it!” Sunhye says, linking her arm with you as the both of you walk back to your home, animatedly chatting about different things while the sun began its descent in the horizon.

-

 It was already nine when you and Sunhye were sprawled all over your king size bed, accommodating the two of you, with more room to spare while watching the newest episode of the new drama that was a new obsession in your lives.

“Ugh- can she really be that dense? This girl clearly has no idea that the second lead is scientifically more fit to be with her. I mean-c’mon! He’s been with her since the beginning, even while she’s been hung up on the main who’s just an egotistical maniac. I swear, the script writers have no clue how to write a story.” Sunhye says with a mouthful of a hot wing, glaring at the television screen in front of her.

“As clueless as she is, I have a feeling she’ll realize that the other guy is the one she should focus on, not because she lost her chance with-what’s his name Minwoo? But because of everything they’ve been through. Hell, wasn’t the last episode showing a scene where she was thinking of him, while she was alone with Minwoo? Tsk- I don’t get this romance trope.” You rolled your eyes, looking at the preview for the next episode with disinterest, momentarily distracted by the sound of your stomach asking for more food.

A glance at the now empty box of wings the two of you ordered, and the whimpers Sunhye threw around claiming she was still hungry- only to ask her what, to which she responded with, “Ramen.” As ridiculous the request was, you had to agree you were craving that the sodium packed snack was a pretty good meal right about now.

Grabbing your baby blue jacket that hung on your chair by your bed you slipped it on, then proceeded slipping on your sliders. Standing, you went and grabbed your wallet and phone heading out towards the front of the door, letting Sunhye know that you were heading to the convenience store to grab ramen and a few other snacks, while she told you to be safe as she turned up the volume of a song that was on her playlist, unable to hear you closing the door.

The moon cascaded a soft light across the sky, illuminating your surroundings as you walked the ten-minute tread towards the store. Walking at a comfortable place, your mind went back to the conversation you had in the morning with Sunhye about meeting NCT Dream. It really would be insane if I magically ended up meeting Jisung out in the open, you thought, a smirk rising across your lips. As if, idols don’t just head out at night where they could easily be trampled by crazy fans.

Looking ahead, you realized you had reached your destination, grabbing the handle of the door and making your way inside, greeted by the cashier who was on his phone, tired and not particularly caring about the customers entering. Oh well, I would be the same, you thought to yourself, now thinking about getting the items you came here for.

 After grabbing the ramen, you decided to head to the following isle, deciding to also purchase some sweets. Turning quickly before looking, you failed to notice a rather tall figure that was heading in your direction, effectively causing you to collide with the person’s chest rather forcefully and tripping on your own feet, falling. Everything happened so quickly because the next minute, you could feel the burning soreness on your back, and bright lights above you, wincing as you comprehended that you dropped your basket with your items.

Bringing a hand up to your face, you cursed under your breath, “What the hell? Asshole.”

Finally gaining a sense of awareness of your surroundings, you realized that a pair of large hands firmly gripped your shoulders was helping you up. Still annoyed about what happened, ready to let this bastard have a piece of your mind when you looked up, and suddenly your argument died in your throat before you could even utter a word.

You must have been dreaming. There was no way this was possible. Did you hit your head too hard and now you were hallucinating, or was it lucid dreaming?

Whatever was going on wouldn’t explain why an NCT member was right in front of you, with a grey oversized hoodie pulled over a beanie, black joggers, and a face mask covering half of the man’s face, looking at you with such an unreadable expression that you couldn’t help but wonder if he was concerned that you busted your back on the floor, or that you discovered his identity that he was an idol.

“Uh, are you J-Jisung?’, you whispered to him, more to yourself, thinking this was still part of your dream.

Now guess you owed $20 to Sun.

Well, the answer to your previous thought was the latter because the moment you spoke those words, the man visibly paled, his grip on you tightening.

The unnamed man’s eyes hardened because his response was a forceful, “Are you ridiculous? You bumped into me and asked a question as stupid as that? You should be apologizing for getting in my way- I don’t have time for this I have to be somewhere,” was the final response-cold- by the masked man as he pushed past you and paid for his items, quickly leaving the store as he got on a bike and pedaled in a direction where you lost track of him.

Still shocked from what just happened, you wordlessly picked up your basket, slowly trudging towards the cashier, not recognizing the concern etched across the young man’s face asking you if you were all right. Ignoring his question, you payed for your things, grabbing the plastic bag and headed back towards your neighborhood.

You felt numb. Cold, was what the temperature had dropped to. Many questions had fumbled inside your head, while the thumping of your heartbeat blocked all other noises, pounding loudly in your eardrums.

Unbeknownst to you, clouds had started to cover the light of the moon, making it harder to see in which direction you were walking. Not walking fast enough, you were caught under the sprinkle of a nightly shower of ran that increased the closer you were to the house.

That’s right, the weather did say it would rain-just my luck.

Drenched and anxious you slammed the door open, slides sloshing due to the water in them and dropping the bag on the kitchen table.

Sunhye ran out you room, hearing the slam saw your current state and headed towards you. “Oh my god! W-why are you soaking wet? What happened while you were gone?” Sun said, tone raised due to her panic.

“I owe you twenty bucks, Sun.”

“Why are you saying that there’s more important things to worry abou-wait. What!?” She screamed. She called out your name when you didn’t give her a response.

“I bumped into him, Sun. Quite literally too, I think I’ll have bruises on my back for a couple of days.” You said bitterly, looking down at your feet.

“You’re telling me you met Jisung? He’s your dream guy, shouldn’t you be – I don’t know happy?’ she questioned.

“Yeah, not anymore.”

“Why?”

“The dude’s an asshole Sunhye, I can’t believe the jerk walked out without apologizing! He pushed past me without so much as acknowledging his fault.”

“Oh no, I’m sorry,” Sunhye softly said, feeling sympathetic to your incident.

“I don’t want to see him anymore, I’m done being his fan.”

Making eye contact with Sunhye, you realized she was holding something back from you, unwilling to tell you it.

“What aren’t you telling me Sun?”

She sighed, nervously biting her nail, a habit since the two of you were in middle school. Her lack of response, made you wonder what was going on, as she was acting rather unlike herself.

Unlocking her phone, she swiped around until she found an email and put it in your hand. “Read it.” She said in a whisper, worried it would slice through the quiet air.

 Peering at the screen you felt a burning agitation in your stomach, anger and sadness seeming to seethe from your pores, as you read the message:

 “Congratulations! This is SM Entertainment and we would like to announce that your purchase of (2) NCT Dream “Empathy” Albums #23746 and #23742 have been drawn as participants to attend the ‘GO” fan sign on Thursday March 22, 2018. Thank you for supporting NCT and we hope to see you soon!

To confirm your attendance, information and instructions regarding the fan sign will be sent in the following email shortly.”

 Guess this meant that fate really did work, but not in your favor.

[jewel-s-blog]

about me + bias list

 hi there, I’m jewel :)

she/her/hers ・ 20 ・ kpop (writing) blog

Yes, Jewel is my real name although my parents admit I was supposed to be named elizabeth but changed their minds last minute after I was born how cute and I’m currently in university. I study political science and japanese for those wondering (because yes, I am japanese and it’s helpful when you live in hawaii to have that degree yk?). If any of this stuff is even mildly interesting and you have any curiosities, pls feel free to ask me!

I try to write some things when I can, so feel free to take a look at my masterlist. I also read A LOT of fics on this site, so also peep my recs if you feel like it. Warning: its mostly fluff and angst and almost always includes smut but there’s some really good stuff worth reading still! 

Feel free to talk to me :) i don’t have any kpop friends irl :( all my friends are locals smh 

I try my hardest to be active as much as possible but it’s taken me over a year to finally get used to tumblr lol marklee and i both struggle with complex technology i guess Of course, there are times when I get busy with college and will probably seem to drop off the face of the planet exam season kills but now that I’ve been in quarantine for a month, I figured now is the best time to start building an active tumblr routine. 

That’s all for now! Keep reading below for my bias list :)

xoxo, jewel <3

Bias List 

Before I begin, I will warn that this is basically a giant NCT shxtpost. With LOTS of hyperlinks for educational purposes and absolute crackhead-ery. I’ll eventually make a separate list for other groups I stan, but this blog is mainly NCT and this is already so long so I’ll leave it as this. Enjoy!

Biases are bolded in the beginning of each unit, so you can skip everything after if you don’t wanna see my ramblings following it.

A/N: After biasing nearly every member in NCT/WayV I’ve settled for now on my biases for each unit. This will most likely rotate fairly regularly as I literally fall in love with a different member every day cited here. solo stan? I don’t know her.

ULT

Jaehyun  *ahem excuse me i mean* 

Johnny Suh, it’s official. Don’t know how to explain, but I love everything about him. In the end, it’s always him. damn i sound like y/n thoughts but istg it’s true From SM Rookies to NCT Life to MV behinds, he’s the one. But I’ve also come to realize that I find myself most relatable to him as a person and I think that’s why no one else can trump him wow narcissist much jewel It’s kind of just my gut feeling. It also helps that hes the fluffiest tall, muscular tight booty hottie on the planet. See this black on black dance practice for further scientific explanation even in this jaehyun trying to wreck me so badddddd

Not gonna lie, I HAD IT BAD FOR MARK LEE still do and yet Johnny overcame that. If mark lee were my first love, johnny is my soulmate.

UPDATE! 

Lee Jeno has officially been added to the ult list. *See the entirety of my april activity on my sns accounts if you would like to see how this happened haha :)

NCT U  

im in love with him bc he literally reminds me of my boyfriend -- i like chill guys ok

Taeil is my little teddy bear who looks great in red hair and has a voice form heaven. Evidence? Here you go. He didn’t stand out to me much in the beginning because I was either deaf or blind but after Chain, the game was OVER. +moon taeil in shorts?? serve them thighs honey. Love you bebe tomato <3

BUT Doyoung is the #1 bias wrecker here because have you seen his cover of beautiful on masked singer?? have you?? if not, let me educate you. Also his collab with Sejeong?? Literally the cutest MV ever, perfect for Christmas, listened to it every year since it’s release.

Listen to Coming Home - NCT U for further scientific evidence that NCT has top vocals in the kpop industry.

NCT 127

THE Jung Jaehyun. For reasons that need no explanation. but ill give it anyway smh

After watching the performance of herin and jaehyun singing a whole new world I knew that was it for me. (I still watch it once a month for my jaehyun-related health and to honor SM’s biggest loss, seo herin and ji hansol but thats for another conversation) back to jaehyun His vocals are unique in NCT and bring a nice color to their songs, the man looks good in literally anything, and I’ll probably say this about every member, but I love his dance style--body rolls for days sis. Definitely my ideal type, which my boyfriend is 100% aware of; no secrets in my relationship ofc which explains the wreckage. Pretty sure 81% of the fandom gets wrecked by him daily, so I think I’ll stop here. 

NCT Dream 

Renjun.  why? i just think he’s neat but no really, it was this performance (ok actually this got me ALL SORTS OF WRECKED) and this fancam that had me falling in love with him but were gonna ignore the fact that I get bias wrecked DAILY by all the other members  GOd-tier vocals, personality for daysssssss, variety KING HUANG RENJUN. Safe to claim that I go into renjun feels about 3x a week. Check my twitter for proof. +dnyl renjun was a blessing and I sometimes cant believe that it actually happened. How do I explain?? He’s literally the best boy, but when he gets all worked up....let’s stop there before I have to go to confession again.

But for fun, lets list why I have biased every dream member at some point shall we? (in no particular order) Dream might just be my ult group, songs always bop, members at star quality 

mark- yes i am including mark bc he was the reason i even started stanning dream dreamies leader since mmc days, mentor, A1 rap skills, ad libs go crazy, unparalleled dancing style, hardest worker, cutest watermelon advocate ever, all around amazing person can you tell he used to be my ult? + he’s a good christian boy and my catholic *ss has to confess my sins for being a simp for him 24/7

chenle- vocal GOD, most steady live vocals in kpop, laugh to die for

jeno- i cannot resist his eye smile i wanna cuddle and onstage charisma-2:54 “let’s goooooo” and i alskfdfjlkdldkfa. 

jaemin- “other than my members, i don’t have any friends” and yet he’s literally the most caring and wonderful little puff in existence fight me pls dont im a pacifist 

heachan- idk why but donghyukie feels like he could be my best friend and also cant stop staring at him in their dance practices his body proportions are unreal and his vocal ad libs?? don’t even get me STARTED on heachans vocals

jisung- he is my son, but also my son’s vocals?? MWAH that voice got me second guessing if he’s really my son 

WayV 

Ten Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul another member where it kinda just....happened? In the end I was like “damn, when did you sneaky bugger get in my heart?” He’s got a similar vibe as Johnny AND DO NOT COME FOR MY THROAT FOR SAYING THAT THATS MY OPINION Like Johnny, I see myself in Ten. There are so many reasons why I love Ten, so I’ll make it simple and provide them to you. 

Reason 1 - Performance/dance  he just hit different, he’s THAT good. Reason 2 - vocals the amount his vocals has improved?? UNMATCHED. Reason 3 - INTELLECTUAL (still trying to find the clip of him talking about different kinds of love) Reason 4 - multi-lingual KING ok so this vid is him struggling in mandarin, but imagine, you speak thai and english and learn korean to debut and all of a sudden your agency says “ok learn chinese now.” MANDARIN IS ONE OF THE HARDEST LANGUAGES TO LEARN. Reason 5 - bad b*tch he just radiates bad bitxh energy in everything he does, and I appreciate a bad bitxh

BUT I love wayv’s chaotic energy and chemistry so much that I literally love them all dreamies watch out 

+special shoutout to xiaojuns vocals in Love Talk

+kun being a dimpled zaddy (jaehyun&kun type CONFIRMED)

+lucas holding binoculars like THAT @ 1:10

+yangx2 doing THIS (prepare to be blown away)

+hendery being a the best teacher 

+winwin BEING WINWIN THE DANCE GOD 

+winwin AGAIN and with Ten here i don’t even think i have to say that i tweeted about this everyday for a month and im still not over it. This specific dance really allowed winwin to shine even though ten is my bias. It really allowed others to see the fruit of his classical training even in modern dance which he never trained in. Not gonna be repetitive and SCREAM  say that he’s underrated, because we all know that already. Just show winwin some love, ok? thank you.

And so finally, we’ve reached the end. Phew, this took me almost 5 hours to put together because I definitely got carried away. For those who made it all the way to the end, thank you, I love you. It’s so messy and I don’t have the mental capacity to do anymore editing but I hope you got something from this massive post <3 Feel free to let me know what you think! xoxo, jewel

[luvdsc]

[spoilers for people who havent read pussy blocked i guess? 😭]

omg i just finished reading and i love love love the original ending 🥺 ngl halfway through i started wanting y/n and jaemin to be endgame so i was very very satisfied!!!

especially the first scene when he thinks “oh i understand why jeno likes her so much....” and then again when she kisses him and he hesitantly kisses back??? omg??

and then when he thinks “oh this is what it’s like to want something you can’t have” ??? heartbreak.... and the “i think i love you” i thought it was jaemin’s thought at first but then after i wasn’t so sure, after reading the whole thing i think it was tho 😭

and finally when he’s like “wow this is what it’s like to want someone and feel wanted” hello??? tears!!! also i feel like this was the more “realistic” ending? in a way 🥺

also i was thinking about jeno’s mom seeing y/n again but with jaemin there too and she’d be like ??? but then i realized she’d probably also be like oh young love...

sorry there’s not much about jeno here but i did love his characterization!! and his relationship with y/n pre-commitment issues being super obvious, was cute!! i’m glad they could stay friends in the end 🥰

no but really i’m so happy for jaemin LOLOLOL idk why i think it’s the pining for my best friend’s girl thing and then finally getting the girl dhdhjd and y/n too!! her deciding to try because of jaemin?? like honestly they were so cute together even before, re: finding out they like the same little cafe?? jaemin coming to check up on her all the time?? THE WHOLE PANCAKE THING STARTED BC OF HER??? he wanted to try bc of her too rip me dhhdjd this is getting too long i’m sorry 😅

askldfalkjshdfl i’m gonna cry aaaa honey bee oh my god you are the absolute sweetest, and thank you so so much for leaving me the nicest compliments and feedback 😭😭💜💜💜 i also love love love the original ending, like i think this is the fic that i put the most effort and thought into writing in order for the ending to make sense 🤧 like i didn’t just want to throw it in there out of the blue, but i also wanted to subtly show their friendship behind the scenes, so it would have a little element of surprise :’) jeno is nice and all, but she and jaemin are friends for almost four years and trust each other and i just aklsjdhfljas (maybe this is just me showing my f2l roots LOL) - okay putting a read more because my response is super long aksdjfalkss

ah yes, that line about understanding jeno really sets up jaemin’s character too since later on, you find out he started making pancakes because of yn :’) so essentially, jaemin was also setting himself up for heartbreak a second time 🤧 asjdfadj that scene where she kisses jaemin is my favorite scene out of all of them 💞  jaemin loves her, so he wants to kiss her back, but there’s also jeno, so obviously, there’s some inner conflict, but this is the first time jaemin actually acts on his feelings and does something for him, rather than for jeno or yn

AAAA SWEETPEA, YOU POINTED OUT MY FAVORITE LINE OUT OF THE ENTIRE FIC 🥺🥺🥺💗💗 that line about jaemin’s heartbreak is my absolute favorite that i wrote, so thank you so so much for noticing it and appreciating it 🤧🌸 as for the “i think i love you” line, i initially had that as jaemin’s thought and placed it before he says “jeno loves you” to signify that, but i ultimately decided to place it ambiguously, so that the reader can decide whether it’s jaemin’s thought or yn’s :’)

and YES omg that line is supposed to mirror the previous line !!!! thank you for pointing both of them out, lovebug 🥺💟💟💟 i think it’s human nature to want to be wanted, accepted, and love, and all three characters crave that, but chose to find that want and acceptance in temporary ways. and i think so too!!! 💘 idealistically, she would’ve ended up with jeno because that’s what a rom com ending would be like, but realistically, after all she’s been though, i believe jaemin is the right choice for her 💗

LMAOOO omg i had this discussion with my friends too like yikes jeno’s mom 😬😬  also i was devastated over the fact that a jaemin ending meant she wouldn’t visit jeno’s cats as frequently anymore, but some sacrifices had to be made 😔 i did briefly allude to jeno’s mom knowing though!

“O-oh, we aren’t dating,” you stammer out, cheeks warming up at the implication. The bell pepper in your grasp slips from your hand, and you hastily catch it in time, stopping it from rolling off the cutting board. “We’re just friends.”

“Of course, my mistake,” his mother acknowledges before giving you a genuine smile, an indescribable look in her eyes: a mixture of knowing with a hint of melancholy—one that only a mother would understand. “The way he looks at you though… and you at him.” 

jeno’s mom knows. it’s a mother’s intuition, and she knows yn isn’t acting out of malice, but out of fear, but she knows it’s not going to end well or in the way we all hope for.

and omg it’s ok, you don’t have to apologize, honey bee!! jeno is my least favorite character out of the three anyway LOL if they had just figured out the miscommunication and mistakes early on, perhaps they would’ve been dating all throughout uni, but now, we’ll never know 🤧

i’m really happy for jaemin too, honey bee!!!! 🥰🥰  he and jeno actually started liking yn around the same time relatively! jeno knew her from class and met her at the party, but jaemin met her at the beginning of freshman year at the boba shop and continued to be friends with her all throughout uni. jeno’s crush was short lived because yn had inadvertently rejected him and then his feelings came back once they started talking again in their last year of uni, but jaemin has liked her since freshman year. he just never said anything because of the bro code rip BUT YES, YOU POINTED OUT ALL THE LITTLE DETAILS IN THEIR FRIENDSHIP TURNED RELATIONSHIP, AND THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY THANK YOU SO MUCH, ANGEL 😭💗💗💗💗 they both wanted to try to be better people because of each other, and that’s what love is 🥺🥺 alsjhkdfas and omg you don’t have to apologize, honey bee, i absolutely love long messages!!! thank you so much for discussing my fic with me!!! i love talking about my writings, and it makes me happy that you want to share your thoughts about it with me 💛  i hope you have a wonderful day/night, sweetpea 🌷🌷

[luvdsc]

Ok so listen . Miss Cat . Okay . I just finished pussy blocked (FINALLY) aft my immune system gave me a goddamn break . Fk . Alright . I need a breather . Cos uve literally reduced me into a speechless breathless mess like . Okay . U rly wrote it up in a way that was incredibly beautiful and poetic, but at the same time u managed to capture the nuances of the emotions involved in the narratives/experiences involved in the story so darn poignantly n accurately it makes me cry .

U also somehow managed to pull us from that whole chaos of a hurricane into the eye of the hurricane (see wt i did there ? Ok) in the end, transforming this fic from just angst into some dazzling coming of age literary work encouraging its reader to go through the common motions of life: pain, acceptance, and with time, growth. Yea u made a commitment phobe once agn look at the beauty of just pure love n yearn for the possibilities that can happen (aha) . I say, what an Amazing Feat .

Ngl ive said this to u millions of times before but girlie u rly just straight up ghostwrote my experiences how dare u but also thank u and i love u . U the writing mvp . I sincerely hope u nvr stop writing . (in whatever form) bc this beauty deserves to be retained in this world alright !!!! Cheesy but true . Thank u for making me cry with ur fics agn .

*straight up wrote a retelling thing of my experience . Damn . U knw wt i meant . Fic so good got me brain all janky

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Haha tysm ti ! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

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LMAO ok anyway let’s move onto my real response to queen ti !!!! 💓💓💓  i hope your immune system is thriving and doing good now kajsfas and i too need a breather because your message (and entire goddess existence 💕) has reduced em into a speechless breathless mess 😭  you’re saying so many nice things about my writing and my heart just did a thing !!!! like it skipped a beat, did somersaults and cartwheels, swelled 1982349082134x bigger omg i’m sooo happy that you like my writing style and that you thought i captured the emotions well like i tried really hard to put more thought and personal feelings into this fic than i have in any of my other fics 🤧💖

i see the hurricane reference 👀 funny story, i was trying to figure out a poetic way to describe jeno and yn to make a better impact with the climax of the story and i literally just googled “can there be two hurricanes at the same time” and “is there a word for two hurricanes crashing” LOL askdjfhalksjfd you described my fic so nicely omg i might cry 😭😭💞  i call it an indecisive fuckgirl fic, but you really called it a coming of age work that encapsulates life’s choices and aspects 🤧💟💟💟  asihflawushdfaks just like when you told me this about sweeter than honey, i am once again so honored that my writing has made you feel this way about love 🥺🥺💗💗

also the ghostwriting part omg ma’am you don’t know how happy i am to know that you jsut get me, yknow?? like i can talk about literally any experience and you’re like yes. same i know how you feel bUT YOU ACTUALLY DO KNOW EXACTLY HOW I FEEL???? wow is this what soulmates feel like ahsdfkljasd the universe knew we’d be too powerful together so they put us on separate sides of the world 🤧  but we still managed to become friends which btw !!! is also so interesting because i was gonna shut down this blog in march 2020 since my life got too busy but that plan was shot down because of the pandemic. and then you started reading and being active on tumblr because of the pandemic too and now look where we are 💞💞  ok anyway enough of my rambling and back to my original point - when i was writing pussy blocked and discussing it, you understood yn and me so perfectly because like i said, you just get it ajksfhs i was terrified that people were gonna hate my yn character whom i hold so closely to my heart and this was me stepping out of my comfort zone (aka bff2l fluff fics), but you related to yn and encouraged me so thank you so much for that, miss ti ilysm this fic wouldn’t have been completed without you 💗💗 ilysm queen ti and i also hope you never stop creating art !!!!! i’ll always be your biggest fan, i would literally cover the walls of my future apartment with all your pretty paintings and drawings and fill my book shelves with your poetry 🤍🌷✨