#it's VERY trans friendly from what I'm seeing also but considering the state i live in i really .. really do not want to out myself

[starlightswordfight]

OH GOOD NEWS THOUGH. I GENUINELY DON'T REMEMBER IF I'VE SAID THIS ALREADY

there's an aquarium a short distance from where I live (not quick but WAY shorter than I thought it'd be) and it's open for volunteer positions >:] and there is an application just at the ready >:DDD

and I'm really really hoping I get it because not ONLY would the experience help me get hands on work I'd be missing otherwise bc of my online classes, but the hours are also relaxed enough that I could reasonably do it without straining myself to the point of Agony (which is why I'm doing an online program in the first place)

[genderqueerpositivity]

I've been looking for reviews from trans masc folks who get their T through Folx Health, and surprisingly I'm not finding very much. So I was wondering if anyone who follows me or sees this would be willing to share a little about their experiences with the service?

It's an option now in my state, so I'm thinking about switching--and of course I'm concerned that I may be forced to switch at some point in the future whether I want to or not. Although I'm glad that this is now a back up option for me.

I already do telehealth for my HRT, but the clinic I get my T through is located in a neighboring state--a state where gender affirming care for minors is already banned; it doesn't appear that they've made any moves toward banning care for adults yet, but I have to consider that it could happen.

On one hand, the clinic I go through is a little less than 3 hours away, so I could potentially cross state lines and still see them, just in person, if the state that I live in passes a ban.

On the other, after doing the math, going through Folx would actually cost me considerably less per year than continuing through my current clinic. My health insurance doesn't cover the full cost of my visits or labs and it doesn't pay for my T at all. So I would actually come out ahead money wise to switch.

I've been strongly considering switching to injections also, and my current doctor has a preference for prescribing topicals for people on T unless there is an absorption issue.

And by switching I could also go back to having my T simply shipped to my door without any weird interactions at the pharmacy.

So if anyone is willing to answer: what has your experience with Folx Health been like? What labs are you able to go to for lab work (I have a decent trans friendly LabCorp office nearby that I'd like to keep going to)? Are they good about responding to messages and getting prescriptions sent in a timely manner?

[literalnobody]

hi i'm an american who's terrified of trump getting reelected and considering leaving the country if he does, would ireland be a welcoming place to emigrate to as a trans woman? the uk is obviously right out and i don't really want to move to canada or new zealand since i'm white and that's colonized land. and my profession is language-dependent so it has to be an english speaking country.

Hi this is a really interesting question! I’ll answer as best I can but I am not an authority on all places/experiences in Ireland, I’m also not trans so it’s hard for me to assure you completely that you wouldn’t face discrimination here as I’m sure a lot happens that I don’t see. I have several friends who are trans and most live in either Galway or the university areas of Dublin, but honestly you’d be safest and very welcome in Galway I feel.

One thing that I feel is important to consider is that Ireland is overwhelmingly catholic. There is a huge migration away from the church in people 35 and under, and as a whole I think I can safely say Ireland is more progressive than America politically, but at the same time, catholicism contaminates every facet of life here to the point where you stop noticing it. All the schools (bar universities but even then there is a Presence) are catholic, community programmes tend to be associated with the church, people don’t discuss their religion in Ireland as a talking point but there is usually an assumption that everyone around you is a catholic unless explicitly otherwise stated. Also, from my vague understanding of speaking to Americans online and American media, catholicism is very different in Ireland than it is in America, probably because its reach extends to every square inch of the land. If that is a deal breaker for you, then I think it’s important you are aware of it.

That being said, in the last 30 years (but especially the last 15 years), there has been a significant and overdue divorce between church and state laws. The fact that we legalised gay marriage, abortion and the improved divorce laws (we still have a ways to go on that front) speak to a growing left-wing movement in Ireland. We have excellent social welfare programs, job-seekers allowance, and education options. Galway in particular is a super progressive city, it’s a university city and an arts frontier, so if you work in the arts it’s a solid place to be. It also has a huge LGBTQ+ presence.

Politically, there are three especially prominant parties in Ireland that you may want to be aware of before you come here. Two right-wing (one of those posing as centrist but they’re right wing) and one center-left. There are obviously way more politically parties at work and I personally would vote outside of the big-three, but if you want more info on our political situation hmu on messenger (if you’re comfortable with that). There’s a LOT to say about it but ultimately, what I feel I can say with confidence is that, you aren’t going to be shot by a cop if you live here, you’re statistically super unlikely to be shot by anyone if we’re being real, there’s no strong military presence or gun presence at all, we pay a lot in taxes but you get it back if you earn under a certain amount a year, our healthcare is affordable but our healthcare service is an actual joke. If you have serious ongoing health concerns I do not recommend Ireland as a country to live in. Our laws are progressive, our people are very friendly, there are bigots and assholes but they are outnumbered by 1. people who are good and 2. people who are a little confused but they got the spirit.

Lastly, financially. If you’re coming to Ireland I would really advise you research whether or not the field you are interested in working in is in high demand. I find Ireland financially crippling for young people, but then I looked up how much Americans earn and I’m kinda horrified because I have no idea how people in America survive. Your biggest obstacle in Ireland is going to be finding a job that pays more than minimum (you’d likely need to be in a specialised field for this) and finding a place to live. Ireland is in the middle of a housing crisis right now, rents have skyrocketed, its sickening how much you will be charged to live in a closet. Galway IS effected by this rent spike and unless you have a car, you will have to live in or near the city because public transport in Ireland is shockingly bad. If you have a car you have a lot more options because you can live much cheaper in a commuter town and drive in to the city for work. There is definitely work to be found in Ireland, but again you’re talking about minimum wage or part time work unless you have a particular field of interest. 

Overall, do I believe you would have a better quality of life in Ireland than America? I can’t speak with 100% certainty because I’ve never lived in America, but from the bombardment of political catastrophes, the crime rate, the violence, the rampant poverty, the insane corporate control…. Yes. I think you’d be a lot better off in Ireland. But Ireland has serious flaws as well and it is crucial to make an informed decision. If you are seriously considering coming here, don’t just take my word for it, do your research. Do not under any circumstances send a landlord/housing agency/anyone who claims to represent a property money for a deposit or a holding guarantee or a first months rent over the internet. I feel like that’s common sense, but the recent housing crisis in Ireland has led to a lot of rental scams and they target international students/people immigrating to Ireland because they know you’ll want to secure accommodation before getting here. If you are going to come here, my advice is to book a hostel/hotel/bed and breakfast, and then househunt. Don’t give anyone money for a deposit until you are physically standing inside the building you want to rent. 

I hope this has been at least somewhat helpful and I hope you figure out where would be best for you very soon. If you want to speak more in-depth, or you have more specific questions, feel free to message me on here! 

[gnostic-heretic]

I'm an aph lithuania fan who is considering the hc that he's trans. Any reasons to adopt this headcanon? ( or like... what about Liet screams 'trans' to you or how does this compliment his character?)

Ah well I think it does compliment his character in a way, though I’m not sure how to explain it.

I guess it’s just that I came up with an entire backstory and a long series of headcanons related to his gender identity I guess... and I love the idea of him being trans because I project a lot of my feelings on this low budget anime man and plus... I love the idea of characters I like being trans in general.

Maybe I can talk a little about my headcanons for him? Idk it’s just a really hard question to answer anon. Because to me that alone is enough to like it and if you flipped it upside down — why should I headcanon Lithuania as a cis man? Why and how would that compliment his character?

... let’s just say people don’t ever ask this question because cis is perceived as default state of being for humans and that’s a bad idea in and for itself. But I’m going to assume you’re engaging in good faith here because it sounds like you are!

Like first of all for me it’s a way (just like all my other trans headcanons) to see more different kinds of trans people in a story and concept I like (hetalia). Cis characters in fiction usually get multifaceted portrayals but trans stories are reduced to pity porn about transitioning and how hard and sad it is and usually written as really sad people. I don’t think that’s necessarily accurate... our lives and history are filled with things that, as Mari Kondo might want to say, spark joy and more trans characters = more chances to show that. Plus we all think of ourselves and our own identity in different ways, its not necessarily simplistic as most portrayals (x trapped in y body is a popular one) would make you think. Lithuania is trans but he doesn’t think about himself and his gender in the same way Poland does for example. That’s something I love to write :D because it shows that we are all different.

I think Lithuania would be very proud of who he is and how far he’s come. His gender identity is important to him because he’s always felt like he’s a part of his people, and wants to be closer to them- so he views his own “transition” not necessarily as “female to male” (because he never thought of himself as “female” in the first place) but as the gender neutral nature of a “nation”, who is dehumanised and put on a pedestal, to “man” — the feeling of finally belonging with other humans. Tolys is a man because it’s what felt most true to him and his sense of self- and he’s lived as himself since he was very young, so his confidence is rarely shaken at least when it comes to his own sense of identity.

(I guess this is aspirational for me in a way but oh well I’ve warned you about projecting)

Also when I say “cis characters in fiction are mulitifacted while trans characters get only to be one dimensional” I also mean that the usual trans narrative is completely centered around gender conforming straight trans people when it’s... not necessarily so. In fact most trans people I know aren’t straight

For one thing views on sexuality and gender have changed so much throughout history that when a person has lived for hundreds of years there’s no such a thing as “gender conforming”. I headcanon Lithuania as bisexual with a preference for guys so decidedly not straight! And as far as presentation goes. When Lithuania first started presenting as male (the Middle Ages) in the Baltic area long hair was considered standard for men to wear. And even in this age he likes to keep his hair long because that’s how he prefers it to look and it’s a good low maintenance hairstyle— plus I wouldn’t call his sense of style masculine as much as I would call it a disaster, he just likes what’s comfortable and cheap and not too flashy. Which usually lines up with men’s fashion but not necessarily in an overtly “masculine” way

Its interesting to have a trans character like Lithuania or really all hetalia characters who lived for hundreds of years across different and very relevant historical changes because he has seen his own “position” change so much throughout history. For starters while trans people have existed forever, the label of “trans” and medical transition science are a fairly recent thing... which is why in historical fics I never use the word “transgender”, but reduce it to the bare fact of life. Lithuania knew he was a man and meant to live as one so that’s what he did.

Now take everything I say as basically speculative fiction based on OTHER pagan religions across the ancient world because there’s not much we know about Baltic paganism in the Middle Ages and the few records we have come from Christians- they’re biased, incomplete and sometimes untrustworthy. I’ve looked into the stances of modern Baltic paganism (Romuva) on lgbt people but found nothing at all— which doesn’t surprise me and wouldn’t surprise me if their stance on lgbt rights was negative because after all in Europe we live in a society (cit) that is strongly shaped by Christianity even if we try to steer away from it.. and Lithuania isn’t the most lgbt friendly place in Europe for that matter— neither is Italy, by the way, this is no moral judgement. IF anyone who knows more than me wants to correct me and or add more info I’d be not only extremely grateful but STOKED please tell me more about the forbidden romuva knowledge because I’m dumb and can’t speak Lithuanian so a lot of (i would even say most...) sources aren’t accessible to me. 😔😔😔

BUT,

The way I base it on other pre-Christian religions across the world Lithuania’s gender variance when he was a young teenager was not perceived as a negative or strange thing. For one because he’s a nation and nations were and are perceived as supernatural beings (sort of demigods) and unquestionable, at least by humans. And secondly because I like to think that in pagan times gender variance wasn’t perceived as a threat to the “natural order” (Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve and so on) but as a part of that same natural order. So a person identifying as a sort of “third gender” or “no gender” (like I headcanon nyo Lithuania would) and a person kinda deciding that their birth assigned gender doesn’t fit and he’d rather be a man, socially (because back then medical transition didn’t exist) wouldn’t be met with fear or disgust but with sympathy.

Lithuania got to transition socially in a supportive environment and then was kind of thrown into the Polish court to a complete 180 in terms of acceptance. The thing is trans/gender variant people used to be a less-known phenomenon until a few decades ago, let alone centuries ago, it used to be easier to be stealth when the regular joe had no idea what a “trans” was — so that’s what he did. And while he found support and solidarity and (gasp) romance in the company of Poland, he also found someone who conceptualised his own identity in a wholly different manner (but this is a post about liet so I won’t get into it ffs) — I don’t think it must needst be remarked that the Russian empire and Soviet Union were just as unsupportive — if not more unsupportive, but we are not here to pass moral judgement. Being stealth would have made dealing with it more simple but being stealth comes with risks and that comes into play a lot when it comes to his anxiety.

...However I think the problem would’ve been and still be mostly humans because fellow other nations (people who- again- have lived hundreds of years and likely have seen a trans person before if they’re not trans themselves) would be open to understanding and learning and not thinking of Lithuania being transgender as a big deal. In the canon hetalia lore we have chibitalia and Hungary as examples of nations who lived as one gender for a long time and then as another. And whether you see this as a trans narrative or not (I sure do) it’s worth noting that we don’t see anyone in the hetalia canon giving them a hard time over it, or being outwardly unaccepting of their gender.

TLDR I hope I could convey even just 0,0001% of my love for trans man liet to you and if I didn’t... well this is just my headcanon and I’m not forcing it on anyone, you do you. Thank you for being open to hearing about it anon because a lot of people just discard the idea before they can even consider it— but most excuses for it (it’s unrealistic, it is weird, i just can’t see it) are based on biases (are trans people not real? why are we seen as “weird” in the first place? why does our existence seem like an impossibility?) and imo not very good. So to wrap this up my question would be how does headcanoning Lithuania as cisgender compliment his character? Well in my opinion it doesn’t— it takes away nothing and I don’t mind it, but it also doesn’t add all the interesting possibilities that being trans gives to his character at least to me. :D

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Urgent!!!!! My mom is coming home and idk wat to do because my family has made me hate myself so much and it's gotten worse since I came out and I've been self harming again and I'm so tired of fighting and knowing they'll never accept me and I have no one to turn to; no friends or family and I can't move out because I can't afford it. I'm just so done and I just want to end it all and I don't know wat to do anymore but to give up. They all want me gone and expect me to kill myself soon anyway.

Devon says with help from Lee:

Here is a post with suicide hotlines and mental health services. Please contact one of the resources in that post if you are going to hurt/kill yourself.

Here are some other things that could be helpful to you. Some people may not like some of these things, or have bad experiences with them, but I think they could all be worth a try.

Therapy. Try googling “LGBT friendly therapist [your town/region]” (that’s how I found my therapist– we don’t only talk about LGBT stuff, but she is part of the community and respects my gender) or “affordable therapy [your town/region].” You most likely need your parents’ consent to see a therapist, but that depends on your age and the laws where you live. Here’s a website with information about that.

You don’t have to tell your parents that you want therapy because of any trans-related thing if you think they wouldn’t accept that reason. This post has more info on finding a therapist 

Telling your parents you struggle with mental illness

How to tell someone you’re suicidal

Support groups. There are a few organizations in my state that host support groups or get-togethers for LGBT people. Meeting other LGBT people and making friends can be a big help. You might want to check out PFLAG.

Clubs. Join clubs at your school (if you’re in school). It’s nice to be around people with similar interests to you, even if they don’t respect and/or understand your gender. You can also join facebook groups about your interests, or look for meetups on websites like this or this. Public libraries also often host activities and meetups. If you don’t know what your interests are, or don’t have any strong interests, it’s good to try something new! No one will judge you if you’re new to the club/meetup or don’t know much about the subject. Everyone was new to it at some point!

Seek other professional help. It sounds like your family is abusive (whether they physically hurt you or not). It is not okay for anyone to expect you to kill yourself, and it isn’t normal for family to make you hate yourself. Research and consider contacting Childhood Protective Services, or a similar organization where you live. They could be able to help you get away from your family.

Note that this isn’t always an easy route, and your new environment may also be very stressful, so make sure you don’t make this decision lightly and without doing any research, but it is a possibility.

In most (if not all) public schools, you are able to meet with a social worker and/or counselor for free. You could talk through your situation with them. Keep in mind that they’re probably mandated reporters.

Distract yourself. Try something new! Playing video games, drawing, reading, watching documentaries, taking care of neighbors’ pets, volunteering at a local charity, knitting, and getting a job are all things that take up time that could distract you from your family/ general negative stuff in your life and make you feel better.

Work on stopping self-harming actions. When you feel like hurting yourself, try these things: Draw on your body where you want to hurt yourself, rub ice on your body where you want to hurt yourself, do the same thing you want to do to yourself to an object (if you want to cut yourself, cut paper up), do one of the above distracting activities, scream into a pillow (it sounds silly but it can really help), take a cold bath or shower, snap rubber bands on your wrist, or listen to loud music. 

Also, to prevent self harming in the first place: Unfollow blogs on tumblr that glamorize self harm, throw away any “tools” that you use to hurt yourself, hang out in public places like libraries (it’s harder to hurt yourself in public than when you’re alone), follow “recovery” blogs on tumblr, or work on a skin care routine (put energy into helping your body instead of hurting it).

Self-Injury Recovery

Reducing self-harm

Self-harm coping tips and distractions

How to Recovery from Self-Injury

Steps to self-harm recovery

Alternatives to self-harm and distraction techniques

Safety Plan

Self-Injury Support: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288) (www.selfinjury.com)

Minimize dysphoria. Even if dysphoria isn’t the main problem for you right now, having less gender dysphoria could help you feel better in general. Here is our dysphoria page. There are a lot of good resources for dealing with dysphoria there, and also mental health exercises that could help with dysphoria or other stuff.

Mental health things from the aforementioned dysphoria page:

Belly breathing

Awareness of unhealthy thinking styles

Distress tolerance skills

Distress tolerance activities

Panic list for distress tolerance

Improving distress

How to make a comfort box

Emotion regulation skills

Emotion regulation worksheet

Soothing grounding exercise

Physical grounding exercise

Mental grounding exercise

Grounding techniques

Problem goal framework

Mindfulness of your current emotion

Letting Go of Painful Emotions

Vicious cycle and alternatives

What will help?

Positive self-talk

Behavioral Activation

STOPP worksheet

Triggers

Coping with dissociation

Handling dissociation

10 Tips on How to Work Through Feelings of Social Isolation

An interactive self-care guide

7 cups of tea - an online chatting service. It’s not really meant for crisis situations, but it can used to talk about a host of issues with other individuals. It appears to be mostly geared toward mental health support and discussion.

www.dbsalliance.org - a nationally recognized organization that offers support and resources for those dealing with bipolar disorder(s) and depression.

@mentalillnessmouse (tumblr blog)

@trans-folx-fighting-eds (tumblr blog)

Download therapy worksheets / And more of them / And even more / Also some more

The Trevor Project’s Glossary of Resources

I hope some of this is helpful for you! Best of luck and please stay safe.