#it's 9am and i am so fkn nervous for tonight already
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god i hope i can be normal one day
#it's 9am and i am so fkn nervous for tonight already#WHY AM I NERVOUS? IDK!#i hate that i automatically get nervous as hell before Events#so cool brain and body you want me to spend the entire day barely eating or moving or doing anything but spiralling and#feeling bad about myself? yeah cool sounds legit#not to mention people are already fkn lining up like bruh i can't compete with that shit#i'm going to get in there and be squished at the back and not see a damn thing#I HATE THIS#why can't i just hire them to personally play a little show for ME and select friends smh#and yet. and yet. experience proves that i will get in there and it will be fine and i'll have the time of my life#why can't my brain learn that and thus stop freaking out in advance of things lol . anyway
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