#it's 5am so I don't know how quality/coherent this is or if there are any glaring plot holes or whatever

[smonksthemuse]

(same user that sent the Red Riding Hood ask) what about Snow White Anakin?? and the dwarves are padme and her handmaidens and Obi is the prince (Or Obi and the Jedi are the dwarves and padme is the princess) and ofc palp is the evil queen (emperor) and he's super jealous of Anakin bc "holonet, who's the most powerful of all?" "Anakin Skywalker, my lord." And suddenly palp is sending maul out with the instructions; "bring me back his lifesaber" sorry about the long ask, cinderkin gave me ideas!!

(ANON I AM SO SORRY IT’S BEEN LIKE A WEEK SINCE YOU SENT ME THIS BEAUTIFUL ASK I’ve been kind of busy but here’s some art? to make it better?? and also I may have ended up writing a sort-of fic???)

as you can see I went with the ‘Obi-Wan and the Jedi as the Dwarves’ option, and also I decided to make it a little closer to the fairytale by giving Evil Emperor Palpatine magic. he uses a glamour in public because he’s so fuckin ugly (if your heart is shriveled your face is shriveled bitch), and the spell requires the lightsabers - or rather the kyber crystals within the lightsabers - of powerful Jedi.

and hey remember how in Snow White (at least the disney version) the hunter sent to kill Snow and take her heart decided not to at the last minute because, idk, he realized that would be a terrible evil thing to do? well Maul the hunter doesn’t have some sudden attack of the morals; he just chooses this particular mission to be the one where instead of completing it he flips Palpatine the bird and goes on his merry way, not killing Anakin in the slightest. maybe he goes to Dathomir and lives with his brother, and the Big Murder Boys get their own happily ever after.

the Seven Jedi don’t have the Dwarf names, but Yoda is definitely Dopey. in this AU instead of being an emotionally repressed frog who gives bad advice he’s what everyone’s first impression of him in ESB was; just a little green oddball. why is he like this? because in this AU instead of the toxic and terrible Jedi Order, Jedi go to Jedi school for their training and after that they just live their lives, wandering around, using the Force and their lightsabers for good. There’s a communication network for if anybody needs help from other Jedi like with stopping a war or something. lots of Jedi end up living together in groups, which is what the Seven Jedi that Anakin goes to live with after Palpatine decides he wants him dead is. I don’t know who all it includes, but there’s definitely Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Mace Windu, and probably Ahsoka. I don’t know if Coruscant has anything equivalent to the Dwarves’ remote woodland cottage, but the Seven Jedi live somewhere out of the way where it’s quieter, which is why it takes Palpatine a while to find Anakin.

and now for Padmé. she was Palpatine’s protege, just like in canon, but in this AU their relationship is even closer, like practically father-daughter (because Snow White’s prince was the son of the Evil Queen). when Palpatine became Emperor she started to distance herself from him, like “hey uh actually I’m not so sure about this” and then when Palpatine really started in with the ‘Evil’ part and dissolved the senate she cut all personal ties with him. she went back to Naboo and got elected for a third term as Queen, but she’s often called to Coruscant for Imperial Court bullshit and like fancy dinner parties and whatever. Palpatine is still semi-trying to get her back on his side, but he’s not terribly invested in it. anyways one day Padmé is in her apartment on Coruscant and she hears a commotion. she investigates and sees Anakin, hanging by one hand from his work speeder and gripping window-cleaning supplies with the other hand, having nearly fallen thousands of feet trying to catch them. Padmé about has a heart attack. she makes Anakin come in through the balcony and sit down so she can make sure he’s alright, even though he assures her he is. they get to talking - turns out Anakin was about to graduate from Jedi school and was window-cleaning as the mandatory community service Jedi students did. Padmé finds she likes this sweet, handsome Jedi boy, and she can tell he likes her too. she’s considering asking if he’s free anytime this week when Palpatine walks in, unannounced and uninvited, to tell her that something-or-other has been rescheduled.

Palpatine takes one look at Anakin and knows 1. the boy’s a Jedi, 2. he’s a powerful one, 3. Palpatine doesn’t need his political adversary meeting privately with powerful Jedi, and 4. that kid’s kyber crystal could fuel his glamour for years. and he makes some plans and about a week or so later sends Maul, his bodyguard/dirty work guy, out with orders to track down Anakin Skywalker, kill him, and bring back his lightsaber. “you’ll love it,” he tells Maul. “you always love killing Jedi, and this one is strong, he’ll give you a good fight.” Maul does love killing Jedi, because he never really got over being kicked out of Jedi school, but little does Palpatine know that Maul has been planning to walk out for a while now, and this is the perfect opportunity to quietly leave the planet. which he does, giving Anakin a warning instead of a murder attempt (he does it in a really scary/assholish way, though. he still hates Jedi).

so Anakin gets scared and decides to go into hiding without telling anyone, because recently Palpatine has been really restricting what Jedi/the Jedi school can do, as well as putting his own people in charge of the school/department of Jedi Affairs (or whatever) and Anakin doesn’t know who he can trust/who might be listening. he doesn’t even tell Padmé, who he’s been getting to know (and has fallen head-over-heels in love with) because he doesn’t want her to worry. he just writes her a note saying that he’ll be off the radar for a while, he doesn’t know how long, but he’ll contact her as soon as he can.

he goes somewhere decently out of the way and stumbles across the Seven Jedi, who live together in their own little quiet-ish space. there’s Yoda, clearly powerful but also quite strange, Mace Windu, who’s very stern and stoic but Won’t Hesitate Bitch when it comes to the safety of his group, Obi-Wan Kenobi, who quickly becomes Anakin’s father/brother/mentor/friend and soon tires of Anakin’s jokes and comments about their 3-inch height difference, Anakin, call me a dwarf one more time and I’ll cut your hair while you sleep and give you that horrible style they used to make Jedi students have, and of course Ahsoka Tano, who is being homeschooled because the Jedi school has really gone downhill since Palpatine became Emperor, and is now Anakin’s little sister/daughter/partner in crime. Anakin soon becomes one of the group, and everyone is happy until one day Anakin is the only one home and this absolutely disgusting-looking old man comes wandering by and offers Anakin a space pear. Anakin loves space pears, and he feels bad for the old man, so he buys it and floats it right into his mouth. of course, it’s Palpatine in his true form, and of course, the space pear was poisoned, so Anakin falls unconscious and Palpatine takes his lightsaber, cackling evilly.

but then all of a sudden the Jedi are back early, having sensed that Anakin needed them. they see Anakin on the floor and Palpatine with his lightsaber and attack, but Palpatine escapes - temporarily. little did anyone else know, Padmé had managed to track down Anakin and was coming to visit, planning to ask why he had decided to vanish and leave her such a vague note for an explanation. come to this remote part of Coruscant. she and Palpatine literally run into each other, and he drops Anakin’s lightsaber. Padmé picks it up and knows, somehow, who it belongs to. she demands to know why Palpatine has it, and where is Anakin, and why the hell does Palpatine look so terrible. Palpatine, filled with hate and sick of everything and everyone and still riding the high of viciously poisoning an unsuspecting Jedi, decides ‘to hell with her’ and uses the magic he still has from the last kyber crystal he stole for his glamour to cast a lightening spell at Padmé, fully intending to kill her. on instinct, Padmé ignites Anakin’s lightsaber, and the lightening redirects back at Palpatine, killing him instead. the Jedi who chased after Palpatine catch up, and Padmé tells them what happened and asks where Anakin is. they all run back and see him, laying on the couch now, with the ones who stayed behind kneeling beside him. they all look up in unison and shake their heads, eyes shining with tears.

Anakin is completely still. he isn’t breathing.

“his lightsaber, at least, brought back you did,” Yoda says quietly. “their lightsaber, a Jedi should have, when lay on their funeral pyre they do.”

Padmé kneels and places the lightsaber on Anakin’s chest, tears running down her face. “Anakin,” she whispers. “I’m so sorry. I should have done something, I should have done something a long time ago, I never should have let him become Emperor. this is all my fault.” she takes his hands and folds them over the lightsaber, then brushes his hair back from his forehead. “I know you’d fallen in love with me, Ani,” she chokes out. “I’d fallen in love with you too.” she leans over and presses a gentle kiss to his cheek.

when she does, his lightsaber glows without igniting, the light shining brighter than the blade ever did, and Anakin chest begins to rise and fall. his eyes flutter open, and his gaze lands on Padmé, whose jaw has dropped in shock.

“I love you, Padmé,” he says, smiling.

“I love you too,” Padmé says, a huge grin breaking over her face. she throws her arms around Anakin and kisses him again, this time on the lips. a cheer goes up from the Jedi at Anakin’s miraculous return to life, and Ahsoka shouts above the noise, demanding to know when the wedding would be.

It ended up being very soon, and it was a beautiful ceremony, after which they all lived happily ever after.