#it'll suck wasting that time to get other things done but my sleep schedule has been so rough

[izzy-b-hands]

Insomnia hasn't had me do a full night of absolutely no sleep in a bit

kinda wouldn't have minded if last night hadn't been one tho

[diino8081]

random song i found

i would like to share it with you

it's the slowed version but the original one was too fast so this one is better for me (but it could be different for you so check it out)

this song has a feeling of despair but also hope to accomplish your goals and get past what's been bringing you down and i really like that about it

small vent below because sometimes a guy needs to get the words out (feel free to skip it though, i know venting can be real tough for observers) - it does turn into good things after the 3rd paragraph though, read after the sun emoji ☀️ if you want to get to the happier part

i've just been kinda listening to it, having a mental breakdown over deadlines. y'know. all that jazz. it is what it is

it's like 5am too and my sleep schedule is all over the place. it's my mum's birthday tomorrow (today?) and i was going to make her something. i haven't gone round to doing that yet. i was going to make her a bracelet because she's been asking me to make one for her for a long time and i finally had a reason to. my dad said it wouldn't be enough so i lost the motivation. my brother gave the idea of a necklace so my dad bought one for her and said it's from both of us. it feels kinda iffy. it was my brother's idea.

there's food in the fridge that was bought for me. fish. fish is good. but the use by date is today. it's a few mackerel fillet things. but not really fillets. it's like they air sealed it in plastic. there are about 6 of them, 3 per packet. god i don't want to eat them all but i really hate food waste. i might just leave them. i ended up wasting something really good yesterday too. either i need to start eating more or my parents need to start buying less or more tactically. i don't know. this doesn't really seem like something you put in a vent so it seems a bit stupid but i mean, food waste, right?

☀️

on the plus side though, my dad bought me two ninjago magazines the other day. pretty sure it was issue 116 of the regular one and also 31 of the legacy one. the legacy one seems very ice chapter themed so i'm happy about that. with it i got an arin minifigure as well as ras and a random wolf mask warrior. i haven't read it yet but i'm getting to it

i've also been working on the pressurejago crossover. just character sheets but it's good. i've done 4 already and i've been doing the next 3. i still need to do the new post-merge ninja though. it'll be fine. also this au is fully open for anyone to go in and add to it.

my frozen liberation au has been on a bit of a standstill. i mean i wrote a few words yesterday sure but it's been slow. it's not stopping but i'm just on a bit of a break. i've been doing things with friends more which is good

i've been playing a lot of pressure, which is what prompted the pressurejago idea. been doing a lot of lockerless and even streamed a few runs. the furthest i got to was the ridge but i died to a wall dweller. not even pandamonium or pinkie or anything. a wall dweller. it's fine though. i'll get there eventually

i did a few TBS runs (This Badge Sucks) with a team of my friends and a few others. we did get pretty far a few times but we haven't made it yet. someday we will though

in doing my lockerless and TBS runs i've learned a lot about hiding spots, terminology and how the node monsters work. i've definitely gotten better at the game and i think if i were to do a regular run i would win relatively easy. i haven't got to 100 deaths yet but i'm definitely getting there (i'm on 81 right now).

also i've discovered i really like iced tea. the lemon one comes in first but peach is a close second. i don't remember the last time i had regular though. i'll have to buy more of these

i think that's about it. i feel better actually after sharing this. the music helped too. it sounds less despairing now. writing things down has helped me to realise that things aren't as bad as they seem. it's kind of silly actually

to anyone reading this who's going through bad things: writing it down actually helps manage your emotions which is cool.

alright, that's the end of my rambles. thanks for reading and have a good day or night or other