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#it'll probably be fine? They know they're not gonna make something that can actually compete with the original lmao
dankovskaya · 8 months
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Okay yeah they're definitely using the REmakes as a basis which is a little funny but at least james is still swanging shit around like a dumbass
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deusvervewrites · 1 year
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Heroic Cultivation AU: So I was reading through this and saw your mentioning about being unsure if AfO would go through with any of the cultivation stuff because he's lazy as heck. I also saw you mention that you weren't too familiar with xianxia stuff. To be clear, the first point is true and the second is fine, but I know a little bit and wanted to add in because I think AfO going demonic cultivator could in fact work. If you already know this, then sorry for bothering you with the long message.
So to start, in most xianxia there's standard cultivation as theory, which is the whole philosophy-and-slow-meditation-self-reflection-and-growth path to immortality. This tends to exist as the background foundation of How Cultivation Is Supposed To Work. Then there's cultivation as practiced, which is borne of cultivators (and xianxia authors) looking at that theory and going "man, that's gonna take so long to get me immortality and ultimate power, and it's gonna be so boring just sitting around meditating to get there instead of doing anything... what if instead I took some really good drugs to get high as a kite, dosed myself with steroids on top of that, and did some nice feng shui in order to cut that down? Couple decades, maybe a few centuries tops, instead of taking thousands of years or something. Yeah, that sounds good." This both feels more proactive, even if it's against the strict spirit of things, and it lets the xianxia author have the characters actively doing stuff with arrogant characters competing for the best resources to ascend or what-have-you to provide conflict. It also dodges out having prolonged sessions of meditating in a cave for power being something other than a background aspect - there will be characters doing it, but unless they're strong enough to astral project or something then odds are you won't have those characters really involved in the plot actively because they're spending 99% of their time, well, in a cave. So already we're more in AfO's lane of finding shortcuts to save time and effort on the road to power.
Then there's demonic cultivation. Now, exactly what demonic cultivation actually means isn't the most well-defined beyond the association with demons and badness, I don't think all xianxia stories even have it as a distinct thing, but if present it'll usually be considered a cheat and power shortcut even compared to normal-cultivation-as-practiced. Practitioners of demonic cultivation will be making deals with demons if demons actually exist and are sentient and communicative in the setting, stealing artifacts of malevolent and cursed power and the REALLY wild drugs, stealing power from others by draining their life force and using their bodies as grisly ritual components, reanimate corpses, backstabbing allies, re-absorbing the passive malevolence and resentment generated by their evil deeds in a downward spiral of cruelty and power, and generally just doing Very Bad Things to get power even faster. If the story's protagonist is a normal cultivator of some stripe then the demonic cultivator is a convenient enemy, whose path to power provides easy moral superiority and maybe a message about seeking strength "The Right Way". If the protagonist is a demonic cultivator then they probably won't engage in the more morally repugnant possibilities (except maybe against "deserving targets," maybe - the morality can sometimes get kind of protagonist-centric, who'd have thunk it), they'll probably be motivated by revenge against a cultivator who is still considered "righteous" despite however the protagonist feels wronged, and there may be some flavoring of calling out how in practice normal cultivators still commit violence against others to hurry toward power and the demonic cultivator is only a problem for using unapproved methods. (How well that lands does require interrogating what the story's version of demonic cultivation actually is, of course. Just redirecting existing bad juju energy to achieve good deeds? There may be a point there. Running the Orphan Juicero 5000 to get the power to conquer an empire? Hold on a minute, there.)
The thing is, especially noticeable as this was being typed out, a lot of those things are pretty similar to stuff AfO is already doing. Reanimating corpses and creating minions from what's left from others? Hello Nomu. Reveling in the cruelty of his actions? You bet. Stealing power from others to get stronger, faster? Heck, that's his whole Quirk right there. All that needs to change is for him to learn enough about cultivation to do that in the direction of cultivation, instead of just Quirks and mundane society. I'm imagining a realization something like this:
AfO: "So I could try engaging in slow and inactive self-reflection to access that brat's power. Cringe."
AfO: "Or I could rearrange the furniture in here and take some good weed to hurry that along. Still too slow."
AfO: "Or I could go all in on this Demon King thing, drink the Airport Cultivator Jungle Juice, get gruesome with it, and really start cooking with gas."
AfO: "Yes, that's what I'll do. Garaki, make preparations for my new path to ascension."
Garaki, who's been spending the last three days frantically going through whatever sources on cultivation and cultivation manuals he can patch together without rest because he majored in Mad Science not Cultivation and all this is horribly documented nowadays, and AfO certainly isn't going to do the esoteric research himself: "Of course, sir."
My knowledge of Cultivation is in a weird spot because I knew about the Orphan Juicer 5000 in theory but I don't know how authors have put it into practice and how many centuries it shaves off of a Cultivator's training program, so all of this is quite fascinating
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Savannah & Jac
Savannah: Are you on your way here? Jac: I hadn't started to get ready yet Jac: got caught up doing some prep for our next lecture, haven't looked at the clock in a minute 🤯 whoops Savannah: well thank god, I was hoping to catch you before having to dramatically tell you to turn around, especially if you had happened to be half way to me Jac: Oh? Jac: What's going on in UH tonight? 😄 Savannah: Nothing, which is perhaps why we're the centre of attention Jac: 😬 Don't love the sound of that Jac: what's been said? Savannah: I'm not even sure because the way she was saying it gave me the most INTENSE Catholic school flashbacks Savannah: & I've overanalysed every syllable to the point that it's been twisted beyond recognition so I can't be trusted to reliably relay any of it Jac: Okay, pause Jac: who's being mean to you, and why on earth Jac: Is it that one girl in the next room along from you, because I did think she was someone's little sister so I can believe the immaturity Savannah: I think she was trying to be complimentary about us but I didn't take it like that, I can't, not after everything Jac: Baby Jac: just try to explain it best you can Jac: take your time, and I'll forgive any personal interjection Jac: because I care more about how it's made you feel, than how it was said or meant, really Savannah: she's made me feel like I'm doing this all wrong, exactly how I said I wouldn't, holding you back and being too much Jac: But you aren't at all Jac: what would she even know about it, she doesn't know either of us, even a little bit Savannah: maybe that unbiased outside perspective is what I needed to make me realise the mistakes I'm making Savannah: because it isn't just her, they're all talking about how you're ALWAYS here, how inseparable we are Jac: Do you feel like we're taking things too fast, being too much? Savannah: No Savannah: but I didn't last time either Jac: okay Jac: because you know you can tell me, if you are Jac: I mean, I don't know what to do with this information Jac: we don't judge them for their relationships Savannah: I was fine, but I'm scared now, obviously Jac: that we're like you and Tyler, or you and Milo Jac: or that we're repeating our past and it'll end badly again Savannah: that I can't have a relationship that isn't ridiculously co-dependent, except it's not even, because that implies that they were as extra as I was Savannah: & that I shouldn't have entered into this one if I haven't changed enough to avoid repeating things Jac: They balanced you out Jac: and I don't Savannah: they let me do whatever I wanted, that isn't what I want from you Jac: but if it's what we both want Jac: it's hard for me to think we should listen more to these girls, who are probably speaking at least from a bit of jealousy, than that Savannah: No, because it isn't what we both want, a healthy relationship is what we both want Jac: Yeah Jac: you're right, of course Jac: but, I don't like the implication that they know what works for us Jac: if we need to reevaluate, it can still be on our terms Jac: I bet lots of them have never had a serious relationship, or only the same level of unhealthy as we have before, they're not qualified Savannah: They don't know us or have any qualifications & I believe you're right about the jealousy factor but I am still willing to see & use this as the wake up call that I need to do better Jac: We can do that Jac: I trust you Jac: I'm not going to see this as you pulling away or something I've done Savannah: please don't, because it isn't Jac: It was my initial fear Jac: but you never leave me to worry Jac: and the fact that I immediately went there is just something I need to address too Savannah: you have reason to go there, it's okay Savannah: how I handled things back then is precisely what I'm trying to avoid Jac: I completely see that, I honestly do Jac: I'm sorry if I got defensive right there Savannah: & I can see that I've slightly overreacted now that I've slightly calmed down Jac: It made me feel the same Jac: like you said, the school flashbacks are no joke Savannah: I'm so sorry I told you not to come, I'd hate for you to think that's what I want, ever Jac: It's okay, we can take a night off Jac: but I'm also not gonna tell you you can't come to mine instead, once they've all gone back to their rooms or whatever Savannah: are you going to tell me what prep you were doing which I should've been instead of freaking out? Savannah: because I need to know Jac: Of course Jac: we haven't competed like that for a LONG time now Jac: it's not like we were asked but I asked [your fave prof bff 'cos lord knows I'm using the photos] on the way out last week if there was anything we could study up on ready for next term Savannah: once I've done everything he has suggested & fixed my 😢 face I'll come over Jac: My poor boo, I hate that they upset you so much Jac: also that we only have showers Jac: or I'd recommend a bubble bath as first order of business Savannah: honestly the lack of 🛀🏾🥂 upsets me more than anything Savannah: but in all seriousness, it wasn't even those girls at fault, I got myself worked up Jac: it is a travesty Jac: we need a place with an en-suite next year Jac: because the idea of sharing a bath with god knows who is no more appealing than NOT having one 😰 Jac: it's okay, I won't insist on being that stereotype and 'having a word' with them, they can live, for now Savannah: if checking into a hotel wouldn't be viewed as the ULTIMATE overreaction, I definitely would use the 💳 my dad insisted upon giving me Jac: I can only imagine the flashbacks that would give him 🙄 Jac: not worth the stress nor satisfaction Jac: though I was thinking we could do something, go somewhere, before the Christmas hols, as we will both be obligated to go all in with the family during Savannah: there would be SO MUCH satisfaction but I promise, I'll resist and be good, for now Savannah: no such promises of 👼🏾 for a family Christmas though, so I love that idea Jac: We can make that happen with just a shower, I promise you Jac: even if we just see a bit more of Edinburgh, get that hotel, I wanna treat you Jac: and no one can stop me spending as much time as we're able lavishing attention on you before we have to go back Jac: because it's going to be stressful, we both know that much already Savannah: if you're feeling left out because your entire dorm isn't talking about us, I can make that happen once we're 🚿 Savannah: you're the most thoughtful girlfriend in the entire world, but if that's something we're about to start competing over in place of academics, that's more than fine with me Jac: I might regret saying I can handle that but Jac: I don't Jac: 😳😳 Savannah: you won't have any, I promise Jac: I love you Savannah: I'm utterly in love with you Jac: I'll never get over hearing that Savannah: you don't have to because I love your 😳 too Jac: It's so different Jac: even though we used to say it like all the time Savannah: you know I meant it every time, it just had to be different Jac: and it is Jac: third time's a charm Jac: we'll make it work this time, no matter how much work that might be Jac: because it's so worth it Savannah: yes, it is and we will Jac: I'm gonna order all your faves when you get here Savannah: 🥰 Savannah: hopefully the lecture prep won't take me too long Jac: you can always read through mine Jac: it's not like it's cheating, just a better way to do a study sesh Savannah: if you're going to send it to me, absolutely, but if you're expecting me to concentrate on reading through it when I get there, I'm sorry but there's no way Jac: I'm not that 😈 Jac: at least not at the sake of your education Savannah: & thank goodness as my parents are both already doing the most to interfere with my education right now with their constant communication Jac: yet imagine your dad in particular if you did any less than perfect Jac: I don't know how he fails to see how counterproductive the constant checking in is Savannah: or the pressure that he's been putting on me to spend Christmas with him from literally November 1st, I swear Savannah: it hasn't slipped his mind that I had no choice but to do that for the last two, even if the unfairness to my mother is something he refuses to think about Jac: Yes, I was about to say Jac: he'll have to think about how he's going to timeshare more efficiently with your mum now, just because it was his way or nothing for two whole years Jac: clearly, that didn't work so well for anyone BUT him Savannah: he thinks he can dictate to me as if I'm no older than I was when he forced me to leave & as though nothing has changed since then Savannah: I'm not going to jeopardise my mum's recovery by not spending time with her in the holidays Jac: To even suggest, let alone expect that from you Jac: even if he's not thinking about your mother, why would he want that guilt for you Jac: at least he cannot literally force you onto a plane to Sligo instead of Dublin Jac: it's getting Sienna, that needs to be planned Savannah: I'm at my wits end with her, it's like she doesn't see the problem Savannah: of course I'd understand her reluctance to spend it with mum but it's all about him, every single of her reasonings, because they aren't even really hers Savannah: she just fully believes whatever dad says Jac: 😕 That's hard Jac: because it automatically puts you in the bad guy camp Jac: because obviously it's nicer to believe that he only wants what's best etc Jac: but when she realizes that's not totally true, that'll be shattering Savannah: she's going to get hurt by him again, as if I wasn't there when he walked out teaching her to question everything that comes out of a man's mouth, that man in particular Savannah: I hate it Jac: I know 😞 Jac: all you're trying to do is protect her Jac: is she interested at coming like, at all? Jac: even if not the actual day of Savannah: It's not like I want her to spend her time and energy until her leavers cert hating him as much as I do, I know it'll be different for her now that I'm gone Savannah: but we get nowhere whenever I try to talk to her about mum, irrespective of the actual subject Savannah: I'm not giving up, of course, but I won't pretend to you that it isn't exhausting Jac: Of course you don't, you'd never tell her what to think Jac: but if you can see things differently, or remember how it was last time, it doesn't make you a bad sister, it's the opposite Jac: you never do ❤ Jac: I was just wondering, though this would be a bit morally dubious Jac: if we could trick her into spending some time with your mum Jac: I could make my sister invite her to something legit, like a family party Jac: your dad MIGHT say yes? I don't know Savannah: at this point I'm so close to walking away from everyone for the sake of my own mental health to spend the holidays alone & obviously that's not a real option I have available to me so I'm more than ready to do it & take the bad karma if it backfires Jac: I understand, last Christmas, I would've given anything to do just that Jac: I think it could work, your dad being the only potential block Jac: we could go for the second half, do New Years with her, maybe Savannah: 😞 I'm going to make sure you have the best Christmas this year, baby, whether or not this works Jac: I've got you, that's all I need for it to be perfect Jac: and we will work this out Jac: but as you said, it isn't even time yet, so you don't have to figure it all out tonight Jac: but when we do, you will have a peaceful and joyful Christmas, if it's the last thing I do Savannah: You're perfect & you're getting my undivided attention tonight, I truly do not care what opinion any or every American girl in this town has or decides to share Jac: A no-phone policy does not even need to be implemented when you're so beautiful Jac: it'd practically be a sin to not use every sense on you Jac: but seriously, whilst they may have a point, we're also further along than they might assume Jac: like I said, if they've never had a proper relationship, they're used to not getting texts back and having to be cool about it 🤷 Jac: we don't have to tone ourselves down or lessen what we have, if it doesn't serve us to do so, only in the ways it might Savannah: I will implement one though, some kind of a genuine family emergency happening again notwithstanding Savannah: I learnt a LOT about sin in Catholic school & you're totally right Savannah: you're the only person who I'd tone anything down for & since you haven't asked me, I really don't think it's necessary Jac: I appreciate it, a lot, you know that, right? Jac: the cliche isn't totally baseless then Jac: you can tell me all about it but we better keep that on the down-low 🤫 Savannah: okay, you don't want that specific dialogue broadcast to your entire dorm, just our mutual appreciation Savannah: I can do that Jac: I can only imagine how enthusiastic the boys would be Jac: and I only care about your enthusiasm Savannah: ugh, true Savannah: I forget too easily that we're not totally on our own once the door is closed, which I'm sure is what lead to that conversation taking place earlier Jac: We aren't the only ones who do that Jac: I swear to God I've heard at least four different girls going next door 🙄 Savannah: 🙄 not to mention I'm still getting woken up by a certain person we don't like just being loud while she undergoes her morning routine, which has literally been happening since I first moved in Jac: I can't deal with how loud she is Jac: the accent makes it so grating Jac: is she trying to be an influencer? make friends? either or 😬 honey no Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: I'm going to have to start going to bed earlier to compensate once lectures start Jac: She a THOUSAND percent has booked herself all afternoon/evening lectures and won't get why everyone is making such a big deal ??? Jac: so that girl Jac: I do my best work in the AM, that's just facts, not all of us plan to party through the entire experience, come on Savannah: So do I, as you know, so if she doesn't take the numerous hints once they are coming from more than just me, I'll have to move in with you & be that girl Savannah: which would entirely negate all the rational points I made earlier Jac: God, there needs to be a way to complain about her without it being dead obvious Jac: an amnesty box of sorts Jac: I'm still looking for doubles but no one is moving yet Savannah: If I have to befriend her to initiate the behaviour change that way, I guess I'll get used to the accent Savannah: you've said my 🥺 is like a superpower Jac: it would be very on-brand Jac: basically work experience for us Jac: and they are but she might fall for you and then she'd be around even more Savannah: oh no, imagine how vocal she would be if she did Savannah: it would be beyond difficult to cope with Jac: I would not cope Jac: at all Jac: so I shan't imagine it Savannah: 😄 Jac: 😥 Savannah: Baby, don't 😥 Jac: I'll have to go back to being a TOTAL bitch from hell if she dares Savannah: 🥺 no Savannah: you're an angel Savannah: & she isn't worth your time or energy, I am Jac: You Jac: x2 Jac: I don't care about anyone else here Jac: in the nicest way possible, of course Savannah: except [whatever your professor bff's name is] that's evident in the notes you've sent me Jac: Okay, he's pretty cool Jac: and definitely gonna help us get perfect marks Savannah: you definitely don't need his help Savannah: I'd almost forgotten just how intelligent you are Jac: I'll try not to be offended Jac: even though I was still totally convinced you'd be going to Bath before I saw you Savannah: I mean, actually, not in a romanticised way because of how much I was in awe of you Savannah: & I did go there, before I made up my mind which offer to accept & it didn't feel right Jac: I'm only teasing, I know that Jac: 🌌💫 Savannah: we were supposed to be here together, like we always talked about Savannah: I shouldn't have ever tried to fight that Jac: I couldn't even bring myself to check your socials before Jac: I don't know what I didn't want to see more, you know Jac: confirmation either way was just, no Savannah: I understand Jac: If I'd have seen gap year plans with Milo, that would not have been it Savannah: most of the time that we were intending to plan was spent arguing anyway, I'm not sure he really wanted to go at any stage of it Savannah: with me, I mean Jac: You weren't right for each other Jac: he's lost a lot more from that deal than you have Savannah: He'll be having a lovely time in hostels, undoubtedly Savannah: it won't be a culture shock at all Jac: Checks out Jac: authentic experience Jac: inserting himself with all the other foreigners Savannah: 🙄 Savannah: if I thought he had a posh accent, lord knows what they'll think Jac: he'll be stimulating the economy, they'll pretend he's not unbearable Savannah: at least he'll be stimulating something, I suppose Jac: 😂 Jac: you said it, not me Savannah: it speaks to my experience Jac: how anyone has the nerve to 🥱 you when you're so interesting is so offensive to me Savannah: it's not his fault that nobody else could ever be as interesting to me as you are, but he is responsible for the effort, or lack of that he put in Jac: no, it'd take someone really special to fight the 🌌💫 and it's plans for us Jac: and I can imply he wasn't that person, without being petty about it Savannah: it's honesty, he wasn't that person & he'd be the first to say so Jac: you're already happier, aren't you? Jac: on this path, this direction Savannah: yes, the happiest Jac: 😊🥰 Savannah: excuse me while I have one of those moments where I can't believe any of this is really happening & fully expect to wake up in Sligo for the summer to the realisation it was the most incredible dream Jac: It's actually such a fear Jac: I never want to go to sleep when I'm with you Jac: for that reason, and the obvious being I can't look at you with my eyes closed Savannah: but if you don't your subconscious can't talk to me & you know how much I love that Jac: so far Jac: what if I say something totally stupid and betray myself 😱 Savannah: you could never say anything stupid & I know you aren't going to betray yourself or me Jac: You trust me, I trust you Savannah: exactly Jac: if I ever say anything really cringe, you can just not tell me, yeah 😅 Savannah: 😄 like what? Jac: anything our favourite American might say, for example Savannah: she isn't actually going to attempt to flirt with me, boo Jac: I know, she's the definition of straight Jac: bless her Savannah: ^^ she's the only person I would apply the word definition to, literally anyone else has the ability to change & grow but she's CLEARLY set in her loud ways Jac: ^ That's totally the vibe Jac: she made her mind up aged 10 she was right and hasn't moved an inch since, whatever the subject Savannah: you're so right Savannah: What were you like when you were 10? Jac: Oh God Jac: let me think Jac: so, fourth class, absolutely LIVID over the fact we had 2 more years of first school after that Jac: thought I was way too grown-up for EVERYTHING Jac: there was probably some boyband I was into but if there was, I don't remember but Isabelle probably still has the merch and posters on her wall Jac: hopefully I was less insufferable when we properly met those years later Jac: how about you? Savannah: I can totally relate, except of course I thought I was too grown up for boybands too Jac: Totally Jac: it was like a secret shame but she had none, Amelia neither Jac: so I kinda had to go with it Savannah: 😄 Savannah: I had a very overprotective father who wouldn't have let me go to those concerts even if I had wanted to so Jac: it made sense to be anti then Jac: it was a lot of screaming and pre-teen hormones, it might've felt like it at the time, but you didn't miss out on a whole lot Savannah: if there'd been a girl band of that era I'd have been much more likely to have supported them, as a fierce little feminist Jac: Adorable Jac: you were cute, I remember that much Savannah: you've always been cute, I've seen the photos Jac: at least my hair had grown back in a decent amount by then Jac: I was so jealous of yours Savannah: really? I didn't even know how to properly style it back then Savannah: but I still insisted, obviously, instead of letting my mum help me Jac: I liked that Jac: you didn't just let your mum braid it and put a bow in Jac: I have to assume that was my logic when I cut mine Jac: independence, making my own choice Savannah: I thought I could do ANYTHING, it's embarrassing how big my aspirations were Savannah: & that there was no limit on the choices I had, there was total belief in that too Jac: it's nice Jac: I wish we stayed like that Savannah: imagine my 🥺 when I discovered inequality & where I was supposed to fit into it as a black girl, except don't because I was utterly devastated Savannah: we still have big dreams though & more choices than 10 year old me did Jac: I don't wanna cry Jac: you're still going to get everything you want Jac: and you've had to work twice as hard for it, no one can take that away from you Savannah: no 😢 we're both going to have a beautiful life Jac: ✨🌼🌷❤☀️❤🌹🌻✨ Savannah: I'll help you & you'll help me Savannah: now that I'm more willing to accept it than I was as a child Jac: and your hair is undeniably flawless Jac: we can do anything Savannah: Oh my god, it's my turn to be jealous of yours & I always am Jac: the fact you can be jealous of anyone blows my mind Jac: you are perfection Jac: but you can play with my hair all you want now Savannah: but not literally right now 🥺 Jac: life is so unfair Jac: I'm so proud of you though, working so hard Savannah: well I'm even prouder of you, these notes are flawless Jac: I've got my uses, yeah Savannah: [a picture of her own aesthetic af notes so far because we are both those bitches] Jac: [truly, could rinse the studyblr tag with these two] Jac: 😍😍😍 you've picked such pretty colours Savannah: [I have saved some cute psychology ones off pinterest for when they start their studies] Savannah: they do match my outfit but if I start sending pictures of myself I'll never finish Jac: if you start sending pictures of yourself, I'll find it harder to be supportive of your studies Savannah: I miss you too Jac: as long as we're in that together too Jac: I'll survive Jac: my room does need tidying before you get here Savannah: you're adorable, you don't have to tidy up for me Jac: for my notes to look perfect, my room has to get a little messy Jac: oh, and my hair, probably Savannah: I can fix your hair for you after we 🚿 Jac: as long as you don't think I look terrible when you show and run straight back Savannah: I've been 😢 so I don't have any room to judge but even if I did, you could never look terrible & there is no conceivable reason that I'd ever run away from you Savannah: but if you need to shown all of that when I get there, it's okay, I'm happy to Jac: I'm so needy, I'm sorry Savannah: you're allowed to want me & not be sorry Savannah: I definitely don't see it as a negative Jac: Good Jac: I haven't done this before Jac: I don't ever wanna be too much Savannah: well, you aren't doing it alone & I trust us more than the opinion of a random American girl I'm currently stuck living with Savannah: any amount of reassurance you need for any reason, it's fine, I promise Jac: 😌 I'm cool Jac: but thank you Jac: there's no one else I would want to or could do this with Savannah: there's no need to thank me, I'll do anything to make sure you feel happy & secure Jac: and I intend to return the favour, always Jac: in every way available to me Savannah: 😊 I know, I meant what I said earlier, you're very good at this, first time girlfriend or not Jac: I've got to be a worthy competitor and you're 👼🏾 Savannah: Catholic school taught me a lot about 👼🏾 too Jac: I'm so relieved they still had to give you an actual education as well Jac: I can only imagine how hard Science could've fallen by the wayside Savannah: still, I will not be enrolling my 👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾👶🏾 when they're old enough Jac: at least you don't have to make that decision for a while yet Savannah: which is just as well because my immediate response was 'thank god', how blasphemous Savannah: 🙏🏾 hasn't guided this decision but there is a LOT of  🙌🏾 involved Jac: he'd approve if that was the only precaution you took, like Savannah: his approval would have to eclipse my actual father's disapproval, which is BEYOND unlikely Jac: 🙏🏾 is less vocal Jac: it's more signs than 🔊 Savannah: I think that's ⛪️ dependent, some 🙏🏾🙌🏾 is very vocal Jac: actual GOD himself though Savannah: hmm, well he is a man Savannah: it makes communication more challenging Jac: I'm sure little Savannah would've said herself Savannah: child me would've believed that god is a woman, another dream shattered for sure Jac: a woman wouldn't have done so poorly Jac: it's a compliment, really Savannah: exactly, with the zero communication, it'd be like excuse me honey, why are you so angry at me that you've blocked me? Jac: that kind of drama is reserved for me Savannah: not even, I know what I did to you Jac: you didn't do anything to me, not on purpose, I always knew that Savannah: it wasn't on purpose but that doesn't mean it's okay Savannah: I hurt you anyway Jac: We were both hurt and hurting Jac: it was a lot Savannah: yes, but it's important that you don't make excuses for me simply because of how much you want to forgive me Jac: I won't Jac: I can just recognize my role in everything too Jac: as well as the other factors that neither of us could control Savannah: ^^ we're not going to get hung up on it to the extent that it ruins everything, but we can & will acknowledge it all so that doesn't either Savannah: I do love a balancing act 😄🙄 Jac: You do it flawlessly Jac: but we don't have to examine our past and our current behaviour constantly Jac: night's off are self-care Jac: tonight can be one of them, we'll just be Savannah: okay Savannah: I don't know why it feels like I haven't seen you in a really long time, I swear I didn't fully disassociate during my freak out earlier Jac: I feel it too Jac: judge away, everyone Jac: we're making up for lost time Savannah: they'd understand if I actually let them spend time with you instead of stealing you away on sight Jac: I can't pretend to be devastated Jac: you're the most interesting to me Savannah: I can't pretend I regret it either Jac: 🥰 Jac: we have plenty of time to socialize Jac: and we do, with people who are relevant, like people on our course and the psych society Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: It's not my fault she isn't looking over my shoulder when I'm super active in both of those group chats Savannah: I was literally setting up a study group before she cornered me, excuse her Jac: 🙄🙄🙄 I don't care for her at all, even if she's brought a potential problem to our attention before it was Jac: like thanks but still, bye though Jac: maybe the rest of her art history course does NOT love her either 😬 like if YOU'RE lonely, just say Savannah: mhmm Savannah: if anybody understands loneliness, we do Jac: right, if the ego was taken out of it, we'd try to spend time with her, and loads of other people in your dorm etc would too Jac: she's not helping herself rn Savannah: I also totally understand overconfidence as a front for insecurity, like hello??! She could have an ally in me if she'd approach things differently Jac: 🤞 she gets there before the year is out Jac: I don't want anyone struggling, seriously Jac: but I know forcing friendships when they aren't happening naturally isn't healthy Jac: never mind accepting people's toxic behaviour when we're actively trying not to do or be that Savannah: I couldn't agree more Savannah: though, despite what I said before about her not flirting with me, there is a very high possibility she'll fall in love with you if you keep being so perfect Savannah: everyone will Savannah: it's not as if she has to like girls to appreciate your intelligence, empathy or compassion, even if understanding your resilience & determination is clearly a harder task for her right now Savannah: a beautiful soul is a beautiful soul Jac: 🥺 Jac: Baby Jac: beautiful recognizes beautiful, that's all I have to say Jac: you make me feel so much better than I've ever thought I am Savannah: I can't say if I achieve nothing else while I'm here I'll be satisfied, because you know me better than that, but I am proud to be able to list that as an ongoing one because I've never met a better person than you Savannah: you deserve to feel it Savannah: & if you are what you love, what a good person you are shamelessly works in my favour too Jac: you're the most incredible person I've ever known Jac: it just sounds like a baseless compliment, there's no way to adequately put it, at least not without some serious time and work to try Savannah: not from you, there's no such thing Jac: I'm not the one that can write songs, sadly Savannah: but you could write a song I'd like more Jac: 😅 Savannah: I know he's your brother but no Jac: Don't worry, not a weird clause that to date me you have to think his music is amazing Jac: I'd actually hate that, to be honest Savannah: I'm beyond relieved Jac: I'm relieved no one here knows who he is, or who I am in relation Jac: that was getting annoying, towards the end Savannah: poor boo, I can't even imagine Jac: oh well Jac: this fresh start is going better than I could have even dreamed on my craziest day Savannah: me too & you're really keeping me sane Jac: God knows we've got to get through this experience and THRIVE Savannah: ^^ 👏🏾 Savannah: We will, failure to do so is literally not an option Jac: Exactly Jac: I refuse Jac: to let either of us Savannah: speaking of, these notes are done Savannah: so I'll be there soon Jac: I'll come out with the blasphemy too Jac: because I need to see you so bad now Savannah: It's mutual Jac: Hurry Jac: but don't forget your coat, it's cold Savannah: 🥰 I totally would have for the same reason I don't think either of us can be held responsible for what we're about to say, so thank you Jac: I can't let you freeze Jac: even though warming you up is beyond a welcome responsibility Savannah: & I can't lie, my coat is more fashionable than practical, I'll still need you Jac: You've got me Jac: shower, tea and all the bed cuddles you could want Savannah: you're going to make me cry again Jac: sweetie Jac: you can cry but wait 'til you're inside and with me so we don't have to thaw out the icicle teardrops Savannah: [a picture of her with that glitter tears filter than samantha loves so much because sadly I don't actually have one] Jac: Wow Jac: that's my girlfriend Savannah: I can't get over hearing that from you Jac: I can't get over saying it Jac: even just to myself Savannah: It sounds so different when a boy says it Jac: Yeah? Savannah: I don't even know how to explain it, it's like it stripped me of something instead of giving me something Savannah: it felt like, oh, I'm just your girlfriend now, okay Jac: like a kind of diminishment of who you are Jac: not the pride to be with you and know you and love you Jac: I see that Jac: I was never anyone's girlfriend, but that's the feeling I got from them Jac: a title for THEM not YOU Savannah: of course you understand, you always do Jac: not that I was bothered what they thought Jac: but it would have been upsetting if I was, definitely Savannah: I hate that Jac: it's okay, that's all over Savannah: I'm going to make you so happy Jac: I know you will
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Entering the Final Act || Akira || ATTN: All Passengers
His smirk grew slowly as everyone reacted.  He was glad to see Airi put the knife down; getting stabbed would really put a damper in this moment he was savoring.  The anger, the fire everyone was spitting out… He’d even gotten Billy to snap. And here he’d thought the guy was too foolhardy to actually crack.  This was beautiful, honestly. If only there were more people to see it.
Would applauding a little overdo it?  It would probably overdo it. Still, it wasn’t like he was going to be regularly interacting with these people after this.  Just some things for the police, maybe a little for HPA, and then home free. And jegus, the urge to clap was just too strong right now.
So, he did it.  He brought his hands together, his slow claps echoing throughout the trial room.  Congratulations, everyone, you found the mastermind. You found the one who put you on this train and didn’t stop until the station of living hell.  Bask in your glory.
Here he was, and he was about to talk your goddamn ears off.
“So, why’d I do it?”
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“I’m sure you’ve all been waiting long enough for some sort of answer.  You’ve watched your classmates die around you, send some of them to their deaths by your own hand, and for what?  Why would anyone want to do this? And especially to us, just innocent little HPA students?”
He cracked his knuckles and took a deep breath.  “Well! You’ve heard of the Reserve Course, right?  I’d hope you would have, given that I’ve been here this whole time.  So I’m not going to explain it for you if you don’t. Too bad.
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“What you might not know is what sort of treatment the Reserve Course students get.  Long story short, we’re like the red-headed stepchildren of the establishment. Even though we pay the outrageous tuition that funds the whole place, we’re treated like substandard by pretty much everyone on campus.  We’re students, but we don’t get to use any of the fancy equipment our money pays for, we don’t get the benefit of ‘guaranteed success upon graduation,’ and we don’t get any goddamn respect.
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“And it’s not even like we all wanted to be here!  Sometimes, it’s just your parents assuming oh he must want to go!  Let’s uproot him from his friends and isolate him with the person he’s known since forever and see how they improve, hm?  Oh, this is gonna be great…”
He paused for a few seconds, then cleared his throat.  “But I digress. Anyway…
“The one thing I despise most about HPA?  It gives kids false hope. They sell this narrative about talent, how if you work hard enough, even you, you pathetic little Reserve Courses, you too can join us in the Talent Course!  The goddamn Land of Milk and Honey. It's all bullshit.  Like, seriously, that's not cynicism, that's just reality.  You come from all over the world, have experiences all over the world.  Talia’s from Australia, at least, and this is just a sample group. There's so many more.  There's no way any average Reserve Course student would be able to replicate that sort of world experience and recognition.  No matter how much they want it, no matter how determined they are, no matter how much money their parents funnel into them. But the academy puts this shitty idea in their head, that maybe if they work hard enough, they’ll be able to compete with these ridiculously lucky people who had all the right opportunities!
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“And some people actually believe it.  That if they can run a kickass newspaper on campus, they're sure to become a Talent Student, the SHSL Reporter.  But they can't. There's no way that can compare to someone else who's had better opportunities. It'll get overlooked, in spite of all the effort she pours into it.  They just won't care.”
He paused again, but for less time than before.  After a deep breath, he balled his hands into fists, thrust them down at his sides, and continued.
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“So, pretty damn clear I hate this place.  But, I'm not alone. Far from it! In fact,there's more than one organization that'd love to see this academy go down in flames.  One particular organization -- though I'm not going to name them, I'm sure they don't want the authorities on their tail -- had the perfect idea to do it.  Create a scandal so devastating, something that would be such a blemish on the academy, they just couldn't stay open. And it should be pretty obvious to you what this scandal is: the mutual killing game.
“So, they have the plan, and they have the means!  There's just one thing they don't have -- an in. They have no way to get in and legitimately gather some HPA students for this, without the academy getting suspicious.”  At this, he chuckled. “That's where I came in. What better place to find a like-minded individual than on the internet? They find me, a genuine student, and with pretty good standing thanks to the student-run paper I'm part of, the Reserve Hope Shimbun.  I have the connections, they have everything else they need, it's a perfect match.
“So we make a deal.  As satisfying as it is to bring down the shitshow that is Hope’s Peak Academy, it's not something I do for nothing.  And I have this friend, you see -- the other founding member of the Reserve Hope Shimbun. She's a good girl, earnest, hard-working, and wants more than anything to be a reporter.  And for some stupid, bullshit reason…” He took a moment to glare out at the students in the trial room. “...she thinks she needs to go through HPA to do that. But now, that doesn't have to be the case.  Her getting a job as a reporter at a news station somewhere in Japan was one of my conditions. And since I've held up my end of the deal, they're legally bound to hold up theirs. She'll get what she's wanted all her life, and she won't have to stake everything on some shitty school that can't even protect its own students from themselves.
“As for me?  I want a life away from all of this.  From all this chaos, all this snubbing, all this talent.  After I get the fuck out of HPA, I’m angling for an average job.  That was the other part of my contract. I'd love a job as an accountant, but, y’know, I'm not picky.  Any sort of salaryman job’ll do. Then maybe I can pick up life where it left off. Move up on the corporate ladder, build a nice family, make a good life for myself.  I've got simple dreams, I'm not asking for much.
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“As for you guys?  Heh. It's been pretty damn fun watching you all fall apart, and it's gonna be fun watching what happens next.  This organization I'm working for has their eggs in a lot of baskets, including the media. Useful for getting my friend that job, and useful for making sure Hope's Peak Academy burns.  Once we get out of here, just about every network is gonna wanna know the details.  What toils you went through, what depravity your captors subjected you to.  You'll never be able to get a moment's peace!  You'll never be allowed to forget what happened here.  And you'll never be able to say who did this to you.
“But, at least you'll be able to live your lives.  HPA won't be so lucky. They send their students off to see the headquarters of a newspaper, and then they do nothing when they're kidnapped along the way.  I really did take the time to schedule a field trip, by the way. I asked the faculty for permission, set up the outing with the newspaper itself, it all checked out on paper.  They had no idea it was just a front. Until we failed to show up, of course. Naturally, the organization in charge of this set up the train and the venue. They even set up the conductor!”
The mention of the conductor seemed to remind Akira why they had all gathered here in the first place.  With a peeved sigh, he looked away, then shrugged.
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“Oh yeah.  Speaking of Jenova.  Guh, the fucking wimp.  Yeah, I killed him, you're welcome.  He was right, I was sort of planning to kill him, but not from the outset of all this.  He was doing fine at first, but...honestly, if you're going to start a dirty job, you finish the dirty job.  He was getting soft, wanted to wrap this up because ‘he couldn't take it.’”  He scoffed. “Couldn't take it… You do what you need to do. Beggars can't be choosers, he ought to have know that better than I did!
“So… Are we ready to wrap this up?  Ready to get back to the rest of our lives in the real world, for better or for worse?  Because I'm sure as hell ready to see what arises from all of this…”
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Jimmy & Janis
Jimmy: Afternoon Janis: ugh, been here that long? 😒 Jimmy: Flown by, has it? Janis: been delightful Janis: must get back more often Janis: what are you doing, tell me its something equally as shit Jimmy: 🐕🏃💩 Jimmy: and trying to ask you a question Janis: go on then Janis: just make sure it ain't stupid Jimmy: Do you know owt about this fair that's about 'cause Cass won't shut up saying she's gonna go in a bit Janis: oh yeah Janis: up on the big playing fields Janis: every fucker goes, probably why she wanna Jimmy: Alright so every dickhead like there'll be kids she knows from school there or every dickhead like she's gonna get murdered? Janis: awh Janis: like the cool kids are allowed to go down with a fiver on their own and the less cool kids have their parents hovering in the back Janis: she'll be good, won't kidnap her make her work the rides, like Jimmy: 👌 Janis: kid would probably like it and all though Janis: and I wouldn't advise letting him go alone, or with Cass to be promptly dumped when he ain't tall enough for the decent rides Jimmy: I'm not my dad Jimmy: @ him with that advice Janis: don't remind me Janis: 💔 Jimmy: Well you're uninvited now so 💔 is right Janis: don't be like that Janis: you know you want me to win you a 🧸 Jimmy: Don't be trying to butter me up 'cause you know Ian couldn't win owt Jimmy: proper fickle you Janis: called keeping you on your toes Janis: but if you can't keep up, like Jimmy: and this is called putting you in your place, dickhead Jimmy: 🥇 and 1st choice me, tah Janis: not that I don't love the self-worth Janis: but don't be tearing me down for it Janis: I'm 🥇 forever Jimmy: you'll need to get used to it if you're planning to be with him Janis: not the plan Jimmy: You coming with us then or what? Janis: sure Janis: anything to get out of here and it sounds vaguely wholesome so they'll get off my case Janis: when you going? Jimmy: Tell them you have to so it don't look like I'm on Cass' case Jimmy: then she gets to be 😎 an' all Jimmy: How soon can you get here without being in more trouble for it? Jimmy: Can't be a really late late one if Bob's coming Janis: yeah, that'll swing it Janis: vaguely irresponsible childcare is their shit Janis: gimme 10 to convince them and like, 20 to meet you there Janis: be quicker Jimmy: 👍 Janis: she got a group of mates she hangs with or what Jimmy: or what Janis: still a laugh Janis: get us in for free too Jimmy: I didn't realise Grace was a paid 🤡 Jimmy: all that makeup makes loads more sense now Janis: 😏 Janis: she just shares foundation with her white friends #aspirationalshades Janis: nah but I know how to avoid the entrance/fee so don't go in without me Jimmy: I wouldn't dream of it, babe Janis: 💕 Jimmy: You gonna wear a 🌹 for me, Juliet or am I gonna have to try and remember what you look like? Janis: no way to go about getting me to wear anything for you, boy Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: might get a few 👀 and 😳 if you turn up with nowt on, girl Janis: you got dad jokes now Janis: every day we get further away from 😎 boy Jimmy: 45 and single would be more depressing, don't you reckon? Janis: no one's 😂 at that, fair Jimmy: See, know what I'm doing, me Janis: master planner, yeah Jimmy: Not done a bad one yet, like Janis: depends on your definition, that Jimmy: Depends on yours Jimmy: I said what I said Janis: hot Jimmy: that your plan is it? Janis: hm? Jimmy: Challenge accepted Jimmy: I've got the stamina for all night 😍😍🤤🤤 easy Janis: don't need to fake it Janis: 💀👑 and co aren't gonna be there chowing down on a dirty burger to go pukeup on the waltzer Janis: probs Jimmy: now that's hot Jimmy: warn me next time if you're gonna throw around words that paint such vivid pictures Janis: you're the poet 'round here, got it 😏 Jimmy: not any more 💔🎻 Janis: awh come on, you like it when I'm on top really 🏆 Jimmy: You're just on a roll then, yeah? Jimmy: Couldn't stop with the poetry if you wanted to Jimmy: Alright fine, keep talking Jimmy: You've got me all 👂 Janis: if I was really rolling with it, I'd say that's not the part of you I most wanna affect Janis: but we're being wholesome this evening Jimmy: Oi, I signed nowt agreeing to that Janis: 🥇 brother, babe Jimmy: 😒😒😒 Janis: I know Janis: but that'll be Cass if you don't give her space and what the kid don't know won't hurt him so Janis: not all doom and gloom Jimmy: I know an' all Jimmy: she's told me every chance she gets how shit her hols have been Jimmy: but I don't remember signing owt that makes them my problem Janis: wouldn't be a kid if she didn't say that Janis: never live up to the hype of not being stuck in a shithole for 6 hours a day, like Jimmy: she needs to delete her socials even more than I do Jimmy: all them dickheads putting 💡 and #s in her head that I can't compete with and Ian ain't trying to Janis: it's the worst Janis: either in some all-inclusive in spain or having shopping sprees and sleepovers every day, yeah Janis: when in reality they're filling their pockets with bread rolls for lunch at the breakfast buffet or stealing hairbands from penneys Janis: can have a word, if you want Janis: girl's shit, really Jimmy: she'd deck you, mate Jimmy: Tah from me though Jimmy: do my best to protect you and that gorgeous face Janis: 😏 Janis: I have tact, you know Jimmy: I know, but you don't know her Jimmy: she's Janis: no worries Janis: not like I'm dying to Jimmy: that'll be mutual Jimmy: had to stop her sending 💀💀💀 threats to my ex Jimmy: only allowed to laugh about it when she's out the room Janis: it's nice Janis: that you're all close like that Jimmy: it's necessary when your dad's a bellend and your mum ain't about Jimmy: it'd be nice if she had some mates Janis: it'll happen Jimmy: not if she keeps holding her fucking breath on us going back Jimmy: she won't get it through her head that it ain't gonna happen Janis: pretty standard too ain't it Janis: when you don't wanna be somewhere Janis: sure someone can deal with being her 'temporary' mate and break through Jimmy: We could be gone tomorrow and it won't matter Jimmy: problem for another place Jimmy: and different kids Janis: you reckon Jimmy: ? Janis: well, ain't that the same idea Cass has got Jimmy: I said, she's keeping hold of the wrong one Janis: yeah but what's the difference Janis: she reckons you're going back, you reckon you're going on Janis: fact is, you're probably stuck for the forseeable Jimmy: Difference is, she'll get 💔 Janis: and you wont Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: Don't know Janis: asking you Jimmy: I'm not the one expecting my old mates to put themselves on pause or my mum to be waiting with open arms to fix owt Janis: no Janis: it's fucked Janis: but what can you do Jimmy: move on Janis: right Jimmy: How much 💰💰 should I actually give her for this bollocks? Janis: tenner? Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what did your ex do then Jimmy: For a job? Clothes shop Janis: to warrant 💀 threats, idiot Jimmy: Does owt warrant death threats? Janis: loads Jimmy: There you go, she did loads then Janis: alright Jimmy: What you asking about her for? Janis: said it was 😂 Jimmy: What Cass reckons she can get away with always is Jimmy: usually does an' all, to make it funnier Janis: see, nice Janis: outside a shop, you want anything or should I keep 🏃 Jimmy: crack on Janis: 👍 Janis: you're excited to get your vom on, I get it Jimmy: Gotta keep 💀👑 #invested Janis: you know your 😎 went through the roof when you deleted Janis: just part of the master plan, not stupid, like Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: you're meant to say you did it for me Janis: 💔 Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: everything I do is for you and you know it 💕 Janis: better be Janis: can report on how #ungoals you've become at any time Janis: be warned Jimmy: That meant to scare me? I ain't the one who easily does, my dear Janis: 😑 Janis: such a dickhead Jimmy: you Jimmy: I still like you though Janis: never done anything wrong, thank you Janis: 'cept liking you, maybe Janis: such a bad boy after-all Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: not tonight, you said Janis: that don't sound like me Janis: you sure? Jimmy: have a read back if you don't wanna take my word Janis: maybe you're not you Janis: sounding a lot like a 🤓 rn Jimmy: Piss off Janis: prove me wrong Jimmy: come here Janis: [does 'cos always saying shit when she's nearly there ofc] Jimmy: [soz siblings he's got something to prove so look away] Janis: [just like ewww lmao, at least she's gonna sneak you in the back so earning some points back] Jimmy: [Cass will be impressed by that deffo] Janis: [prove you ain't lame babe] Jimmy: [#notlikehisex] Janis: [just denying he has siblings 'cos not got the time lol] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [we all know the sort] Jimmy: [soz that you're too busy fucking half the north including your dad's mate, babe] Janis: [oosh, not a mood, unlike playing all these funfair games 'cos competitive] Jimmy: [I love it, he should win her a bear to go with the one he stole lol] Janis: [yasss, also Bobby needs to have a go on the hook a duck 'cos easy and be buzzin' about it] Jimmy: [my fave and yeah they should both help him do some of the other games cos team effort] Janis: [lil squad] Jimmy: [win him over so casually Janis, love that for you] Janis: [kids are easily won over if you aren't OTT/or just plain rude either way] Jimmy: [nevertheless Jimmy would be hardcore 😍 cos nobody else has bothered] Janis: [what a gay old time, what should happen, should anyone else be here ooh possibilities] Jimmy: [oooh fair point, we could always have Grace be if we don't wanna the drama of the others cos her and Mia had that domestic so] Janis: [why not although why are you here girl, just straight chilling lol] Jimmy: [feasible she could be with a lad and we know it wouldn't be goals so makes them more goals] Janis: [awkward, at least you can't fully doubledate it 'cos there are children here also but could put Bobby on them for a sec so they can go on a decent ride alone] Jimmy: [that was the thought I had cos Grace loves kids that's heartbreaking true facts] Janis: [poor babe] Jimmy: [and if Bobby don't hate her we can use her as a babysitter when we need at other points too haha] Janis: [shameless] Jimmy: [I dread to think the lad she is with ugh honey no] Janis: [ditch him for this child lowkey] Jimmy: [she would and that's the tea] Janis: [go on all those big kid rides lads] Jimmy: Do I need to pick up our kid and leg it?  👀 Janis: she'll be fine Janis: got enough around that you have to be semi-competent, like Jimmy: 🥇 recommendation that, babe Janis: you want her to give you references Janis: like I'd let her if she was gonna fuck it up Jimmy: and what if that twat she were with comes back? Janis: doubt he's a child snatcher, even if he is a twat Janis: can go back, if you're worried but seriously, it's fine Jimmy: Alright, shut up Jimmy: it's just Jimmy: I have to look out for him Jimmy: no fucker else is Janis: I'm not taking the piss Janis: honest Janis: I promise she knows what she's doing, yeah Jimmy: At least if 💀👑 appears we'll have a valid excuse to finally kill her Janis: yeah? Janis: wouldn't be caught dead saying she's got sweets in her car though Janis: 🐶s maybe but definitely have a dog walker and just take sweet 'grams of it Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: surrounded by bitches, her Janis: always, just don't let babysitter hear you Janis: bit rude Jimmy: You better shut me up then Jimmy: [pulling her into a kiss obvs] Janis: [just have your moment, I like to think they're on a ferris wheel which 100% they could all go on so you didn't need to do that alone but you did for the romance] Jimmy: [that's so cute though, I like to also think about how before they would've taken so many pics for the fans but now it's either none or just actually for them] Janis: [truly, we love the fake time but it is a cluster fuck for yous] Jimmy: [just have a nice time making out to make use of your alone time you two, I'd say bang but too many peeps would see you] Janis: [like when someone got a beej on the coachella one and the clip was everywhere lmao] Jimmy: [omg what really!? amazing] Janis: [yes and everyone thought it was james charles, giving, I think and he had to be like no lol] Jimmy: [iconic] Jimmy: [then get on them cray rides and try not to 🤢 your candy floss boyyy] Janis: [imagine, sexy] Jimmy: [he won't he only voms when other peeps do so as long as nobody else does when they get off lol] Janis: [just running so you don't see 'cos peeps always do, bless] Jimmy: [gotta be tough and impress the bae] Janis: [know they're having a lovely time] Jimmy: [I'm glad we chose this now, v them but also Cass and Bobby would be living for it so] Janis: [it's a good idea, and like a reasonable everyday life vibe like not everyone is living lavish or being wild as hell it's not a thing, don't wanna be those bitches] Jimmy: [and even Grace would be having a good time so that makes me happy cos I'm so mean to her haha] Janis: [poor grace, bobby should give her his prize 'cos janis has that massive bear] Jimmy: [when a 6 year old is nicer to you than any lad you've been with, god bless] Janis: [don't cry girl] Jimmy: [so glad you've made a real friend babe even though he's a bub] Janis: [meanwhile don't get carried away you two, can't leave him with her forever] Jimmy: [do get a bit carried away though cos you're still you] Janis: [obvs, should go on some funhouse vibe thing, you know where the floors move and mirror mazes, that kinda vibe] Janis: [get lost for a bit] Jimmy: [a mood] Janis: [just being shameless in those dark corners honey] Jimmy: [you gotta cos these kids are gonna have had too much sugar, they ain't going to bed early lol] Janis: [oh ian, if only you were about to dump that mess on] Jimmy: [omg what if he is about with a lady friend and we ruin it] Jimmy: [casually trying to have a glass of wine but think again] Janis: [hahaha why not, any chance to piss him off] Jimmy: [my thoughts exactly] Janis: [plenty of places they can do if he throws a strop later] Jimmy: [yeah true and that could be a mood in itself if we want, plus Cass would let y'all back in eventually cos you are in her good books rn] Janis: [gotta gang up on Ian always on principle] Jimmy: [the real squad goals] Janis: [truly, is there any other shennanigans we want at the fair that we should document in here] Jimmy: [he should be a 🦋 cos such a basic white girl thing lol] Janis: [yasss lmao] Jimmy: [what are you gonna pick girl?] Janis: [hmm 🐍] Jimmy: [gonna have to shower together later to take that off, what a shame] Janis: [oh no 😏] Jimmy: [not soz about your water bill Ian] Jimmy: [oh they should get food so they can sit for a bit] Janis: [yas, there's all the trash food at the fair] Jimmy: [we all know they could eat it walking but they wanna be cute] Janis: [make the most of that time kids] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: [when your mouth probably is that full so you can't talk lol] Janis: 👍 Janis: 😋🤤 Jimmy: were talking about the grub but go on 💕😏 Janis: 🙄😏 Janis: you're alright too, I guess Jimmy: 🥇🦋 me Janis: better put the grwm up asap Jimmy: [looks around dramatically as if Grace is gonna be summoned by the phrase GRWM like shhh] Janis: [lols] Janis: don't tempt fate Jimmy: you Janis: [mimes 🤐] Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: I'm trying to talk to you Janis: a bad date, you know that Jimmy: cheap ain't bad to me, rich girl Jimmy: you're alright Janis: [a look] Jimmy: [always keeping that eye contact going] Janis: ['I-'] Jimmy: ['yeah, you'] Janis: [nudges him like oi but shakes her head] Jimmy: [nudges her back and nods] Janis: trying to talk to you, you know Jimmy: Go on then Janis: can't Jimmy: Why? Janis: [mimes 🤐 again but we know that ain't it sis] Jimmy: [mimes unzipping her lips and does the thing where you brush your thumb over the bottom one at the same time] Janis: [goes to kiss him like let's do that instead tah] Jimmy: [leans in like he's gonna let it happen but then whispers in her ear instead 'say something' but is then loving upon her 👂 cos love a throwback and a mood] Janis: [when that took you by surprise and you're failing to hide that so you just kinda blurt out 'I've had a really good time' then you're so 😒😳 at yourself] Jimmy: [actual kisses that she can feel him smiling during because same] Janis: [being appreciate af for all the reasons tbh but mainly that he didn't take the piss then] Jimmy: [It's a MOMENT for all the reasons] Janis: [between kisses 'I didn't just come to help you, you know that, yeah?'] Jimmy: [kissing her harder because you know but that don't mean you know what to say, tables have quickly turned lol] Janis: [can always rely on a makeout sesh when words fail] Jimmy: [live your best lives kids] Janis: we should probably go back yeah Jimmy: [when you shamelessly don't wanna so you're just keeping the love going like you didn't read that] Janis: ['Jimmy' hardly making him stop though 'cos you're not dying to go yourself] Jimmy: ['just gimme one more...' are you gonna say minute or second or kiss or what boy?] Janis: ['I'm not going anywhere'] Jimmy: [this boy is actually DYING like the noise he would make we can only imagine because that was so the right thing to say] Janis: [shhing him with your finger but you're 😍] Jimmy: ['let's go somewhere-' getting that finger in his mouth like he did when he was drunk but drunk in love instead honey 'for a bit'] Janis: [your turn to make some noises, just nodding like we gotta, 'they'll call if they need us, yeah'] Jimmy: [just lowkey dragging her away but still kissing so watch out crowds of peeps] Janis: [always causing a scene] Jimmy: [not even trying to this time, ILY you two] Janis: [just that highkey] Jimmy: [they should probably go back soon though fr] Janis: [sad but yes] Jimmy: [Grace will be gutted to lose her new bestie] Janis: [we should do a convo with them] Jimmy: [why not tbh] Janis: [by which I mean grace and janis, not grace and bobby, soz babe lol] Jimmy: [hahaha don't worry babe we'll make sure you stay in touch with that lil man] Janis: [going to need to find cass] Jimmy: [start sending those texts boy] Janis: [you know she gonna be cheeky and try and stay out longer tis her prerrogative] Jimmy: [mhm it'll be like in Euphoria when they have to search for her sister but less drama lol] Janis: [yes don't need to be that concerned, yet] Jimmy: [put Bobby on your shoulders so he can look for her like that scary grass movie] Janis: [that was a time] Jimmy: [I'VE JUST REALISED TWIX IS ALL ALONE AT HOME AND NOW I'M FORLORN] Janis: [my boo says noooooo lmao] Jimmy: [I hope she's destroyed Ian's stuff tbh] Janis: [start the hate train honey, they'll be back soon] Jimmy: [we can probably assume that its not far if he lives near school cos usually on the field like] Janis: [my thoughts, it won't be far] Jimmy: [I like to think that Bobby is chatting the whole way cos had the best time and is buzzing] Janis: [he deserves that, also Jimmy to not be getting an earful, thanks kids] Jimmy: You had a good time then? Janis: oi Jimmy: What? Janis: don't take the piss Jimmy: ? Janis: I told you I did Jimmy: So what that's all you're gonna say about it? Janis: what would you like me to say Jimmy: Why don't you have owt to say to me today? Janis: I've said loads to you Jimmy: Alright Janis: what Janis: soz I'm not known for my conversation Jimmy: I said alright Janis: 'cos that means it is Jimmy: if it weren't, I'd say Janis: alright Jimmy: No need to be a dickhead Janis: can't win with you Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: do you wanna say something or what Jimmy: Are you waiting for me to say something? Janis: for god's sake Jimmy: Don't have a go at me Janis: Well this is just stupid Jimmy: Obviously Jimmy: forget I said owt Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [lets get them in the gaff cos that won't be awks hi Ian] Janis: [already in such a good mood, least he can't do shit if he's got a bird in, pretend he ain't raging like] Jimmy: [Cass just asking if he paid her to be here like she always does] Janis: [just there trying not to lol but not trying that hard like 😏] Jimmy: told you she were funny Janis: didn't doubt it Janis: boy's on one too with his sugar high Jimmy: never a bad plan me, told you that an' all Janis: you can't claim credit for this Jimmy: Why? Janis: let him have his moment all to himself, you diva Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: stage mum vibes, tbh Jimmy: If that's your way of bowing out of karaoke night down the local Jimmy: so subtle you Janis: just 'cos I ain't Beyonce, don't mean I couldn't own you Janis: and likewise Jimmy: come on then Jimmy: I fancy a drink even more now you've promised me a show with it Janis: seriously Janis: drink, fine Jimmy: 🙀? Janis: 1. I doubt the local even has a karaoke night Janis: 2. are you gonna as well Jimmy: 1. it does and it's happening right now Jimmy: 2. What you scared for? All paddys have the voice of a 😇 so I've heard Jimmy: 3. like a choir boy me Janis: 1. just kill me now, romeo Janis: 2. not scared, just not a MASSIVE show-off like you 🤷😉 Janis: 3. more like the priest, perv Jimmy: Stop stalling, girl Janis: ugh Janis: get your coat then, mate Jimmy: [grabs his jacket but throws it at her because he's tough obvs lol] Janis: ['hide in it when you embarrass me' and mimics as much] Jimmy: ['hide your blushes when you embarrass yourself more like'] Janis: ['given you no reason to doubt me, deny that'] Jimmy: ['You can piss off if you reckon I have'] Janis: ['did I say that?'] Jimmy: [pushes her along like come on but playfully not like #problematic] Janis: [pushes back but when they're out the door pulls him back into her 'you gonna still fancy me if its really bad?'] Jimmy: ['You were warned that you'd be dumped for not keeping shit goals' but pulls her even closer to him] Janis: [pouts, 'knew you were just waiting for an excuse'] Jimmy: ['an excuse to stay off the socials for a bit maybe' does the biting of the pouty lip kiss thing for what I think is the first time omg 'you still gonna cheer me on if you're the only dickhead watching?'] Janis: ['won't livestream it' 🤞 and into that, a lot 'I'll have to get over my heartbreak, real fast but yeah, you're a mate'] Jimmy: [🚬 even though its not remotely far to the pub, we know the drill she's getting one lit first even though he didn't ask if she wanted one] Janis: ['get me a couple shots of whiskey when we get there and my voice should be-' does the chef's kiss thing] Jimmy: [gives her a look like what'll take for you to believe in my best laid plans #cheeky cos he didn't plan that vocal advantage at all lol] Janis: [shakes head 'nah, you like winning too much...' pauses like she's working it out then gasps dramatically 'OH MY GOD- ARE YOU PETE'S SINGER?! If he's there, all bets are off, need at least 2 weeks to rehearse my number properly'] Jimmy: [lols before he can stop himself even though the jealousy of thinking she wants to fuck Pete is so real] Janis: ['you should know how long stage costumes take to make, mommy' pushes into his side but kisses his cheek whilst she's at it] Jimmy: [😏 to hide the jealousy 😒 mood 'oi, it's daddy or nowt, tah'] Janis: [lols 'yeah right'] Jimmy: [get in that pub and order that whiskey boy its really not far] Janis: [i need to think of a song damn] Jimmy: [he is blatantly doing romeo and juliet by dire straits cos MUST] Janis: [i so knew hmm] Janis: [have to do some prince, go off honey] Jimmy: [let's say he goes first so he don't have to follow her after she's slayed the game] Janis: [we all know it's gonna be adorable also excuse me i think they still have their face paint on Janis: lmao the pub peeps like oh god] Jimmy: [omg yes because fled from Ian so haven't showered yet] Janis: [oh boys i love that for you] Jimmy: [when he's gonna be so 😍😍😍 at her talent though bye] Janis: [when you wouldn't think you were anything special 'cos your role in the fam ain't that, same with art, like there's always someone that's better than you] Jimmy: [literally also Grace's mood even before she had Mia as a friend to put her down but she's GOOD and I'm mad at Cali for having so many talented beautiful kids tbh] Jimmy: Pete's fucked up if you ain't his lead singer, Jules Jimmy: 💔 we didn't livestream now to @ him and all his bandmates Janis: I ain't Janis: no accounting for taste but don't reckon his love of rock chicks goes as deep as face tats Janis: 💔 you look so pretty Jimmy: [lols and genuine smiles] Jimmy: Oi, I'm serious Janis: and I ain't? Janis: psh, think the auld fella in the corner was 😢 at your rendition Janis: probably thinking 'bout the ex, and the kids Jimmy: Seriously take the compliment then Jimmy: I don't mean it like my ex shattering the shower glass and reckoning she's Mariah when all she is is a menace to local 🐕s Jimmy: You're Jimmy: proper good Janis: [is 😳 but trying to play it off for both their sakes] Janis: if any pint glasses hit the deck, that weren't me Janis: back me up, yeah Jimmy: we're a team, I don't get to do nowt else Jimmy: [goes to get her celebratory drinks because swag bitch] Jimmy: I'll take your well subtle hint though brb Janis: is that your subtle hint you ain't happy being my backup singer? Janis: it's an important if overlooked job, babe Jimmy: not to you Jimmy: I'd have to go full poltergeist to get noticed at all Janis: but baby Janis: always shared the spotlight before Jimmy: I meant what I just said Janis: I know but Janis: idk what to say so Jimmy: shut up and let me get a word in then Jimmy: or just drink this Jimmy: [boy returns] Janis: bit rude Janis: [but takes drink happily and takes big swig like okay let's hear it] Jimmy: bit fuming that you've been sitting on a talent that massive Jimmy: [takes a swig of his drink too which I like to think is something he made up like when my brother put shots of apple sours in a pint of strongbow and got one for me so I started doing it too on nights out and blew my friends minds] Jimmy: [casually made it up on the spot just then for her and her victory cos he's that bitch] Janis: [yas, love that for you guys, just doing a 'not bad' face 'cos you can't place what it is fully but you like it] Janis: why? Janis: should we monetize it, like 💰💰💰 Jimmy: You ain't in owt for the cash, always hearing it from you, rich girl Janis: don't remember putting it like that tah but alright, you can still be 😠😠😠 Jimmy: Tah for giving me permission to out diva you, babe Jimmy: give it my best off the stage anyway Janis: [😏] Jimmy: hit more high notes then an' all Janis: [lols] Janis: shh Janis: make me 😳 Jimmy: Best laid plans Jimmy: you know that one's my fave Janis: you're mine Janis: [pop off sis, you must be tipsy, but quickly drink some more to be sure] Jimmy: [when you were taking a drink and nearly choke to death] Janis: [when you wanna die but are casually smacking him on his back so he don't like oh god] Jimmy: 💀💀💀 me you will Janis: don't Jimmy: don't is right, we're meant to go together Janis: then focus on breathing Janis: preferably when there's 🚱 Jimmy: No need, I come alive for you remember Jimmy: I only stop breathing when you ain't about Janis: still the poet Jimmy: still got a 🥇 muse Janis: 'course Janis: say I'm the Cher to your Sonny but no need to throw those allegations around Jimmy: Do throw me a warning if you're gonna go around being that stunning and good at loads more things though, yeah? Janis: should've got a ⚠ not a 🐍 noted Jimmy: [traces along the 🐍 with a fingertip lightly and oh so casually] Janis: [sighs blissfully and closes her eyes 'cos touch but also a mixed sigh of that and frustration 'cos-] Janis: am I ever gonna be able to tell what you mean and what you don't Jimmy: You could ask me Janis: every five seconds, that'd get old fast Jimmy: I've got a little brother and a puppy, it's nowt I couldn't handle Janis: Yeah, well want those to be the comparisons you go to Jimmy: Baby Janis: don't worry, it's a me problem Janis: not you Jimmy: I like you, that makes it my problem too Jimmy: if you don't know Janis: It's like Janis: I know you wanna fuck me Janis: and I know we have a laugh too Janis: there's just lots of stuff that doesn't strictly fit into either of those catergories Jimmy: Alright so gimme an example Janis: we're gonna sit here and sort it all out, are we? Janis: ain't there anything else you'd rather with your night of freedom Jimmy: Why not? Janis: [shakes head] Janis: we could fuck Janis: or have fun Janis: or a combination of the two Janis: easy Jimmy: If that's what you want Janis: well not if you don't Janis: not the point Jimmy: I never said I don't Janis: you didn't say what you do wanna do with tonight though Janis: think about it, imma go take a piss Janis: [run girl run] Jimmy: [downing that drink, fun times] Janis: [takes a bold amount of time for a piss and when she comes back she's taken the snake off] Jimmy: [he's at the bar ordering more drinks obvs but gotta NOTICE like the whole world stops honey, just staring at her not at all casually from across] Janis: [just looking back for the longest time] Janis: a good choice Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: pisshead Jimmy: You're one to try and talk Janis: psh Janis: can't take back singing your praises about mine, honey 🎤 Jimmy: Oh I weren't Jimmy: if owt it makes it more impressive that you can carry a tune Jimmy: still 🤐 Janis: love a backhanded compliment, you Janis: not gonna shout across this bar Jimmy: not gonna say nowt Jimmy: you can save your excuses Janis: what you being such a dick for Jimmy: [comes back with the drinks as if that means he isn't a moody hoe okay then] Janis: [just looking at him like go on then] Jimmy: I don't get you Janis: what don't you get? Jimmy: sometimes you're so with me it feels like taking a massive breath Jimmy: and that I could live off it for days Jimmy: but then Janis: [looks away] Janis: I can't always be here Janis: that's how it's been long as it's worth remembering Jimmy: Do you wanna be here? Jimmy: this now Jimmy: do you even want it? Janis: wanting shit is Janis: dangerous Jimmy: [gets up to go without finishing that drink even] Janis: ['hey'] Jimmy: [ignoring her in a not at all casual manner] Janis: ['stop' and getting up to follow] Jimmy: [outside and lighting a 🚬 but none for you Janis cos ultimate shade] Janis: ['are you gonna fucking talk to me or even look at me?'] Jimmy: [a stare down moment like] Janis: [holding it 'I didn't say I didn't want it, just that it's dangerous, I still do'] Jimmy: [just giving her such a look because he knows how dangerous it is to want anything too obvs] Janis: ['and it ain't just about wanting either, I told you, sometimes I can't, even if I'm physically here...and that's not 'cos I don't wanna be, it's just-' shrugs 'like I said, how it's been, from before you were here'] Jimmy: [passes her the 🚬] Janis: [just the longest drag of all time 'a me problem, I told you'] Jimmy: ['I've got my own, I ain't standing here crossing my fingers that you're some perfect lass or reckoning that I'm world class enough to cross all yours out'] Janis: ['I know, like I know you're meant to carry on and do things in spite of but that don't mean it's as easy as it sounds does it'] Jimmy: [shakes his head cos again #relatable and he does know. Takes the 🚬 back and takes his own big drag 'I just know that I want you, as much of a challenge, or not, as it is to keep on dating you'] Janis: ['You know I want you too, I said it first, not changed'] Jimmy: ['do it properly with me then'] Janis: ['are we dating then?'] Jimmy: ['Do you want to?'] Janis: [a look like why do I need to answer always, boy 'I don't know, what's it like?'] Jimmy: ['Dating me? Hang on, I'll give my ex a bell and you can hear it from her'] Janis: [🙄 'Well, she'll obviously put me off, wants you back'] Jimmy: [🙄 back] Janis: ['would it be like this?'] Jimmy: ['Are you gonna get more or less jealous when you're my real girlfriend?'] Janis: ['What do you mean?' Jimmy: ['Are you gonna send her death threats or a sorry for your loss card, like?'] Janis: ['Cass has got your covered, ain't she'] Jimmy: ['So?'] Janis: [squirming 'cos you are jealous but don't wanna say but don't wanna lie and 'come on'] Jimmy: [up in her grill as he likes to be 'you'] Janis: [ just staring at his lips so hardcore and biting her own 'it is her loss but I'm not gonna bother with the card, alright?'] Jimmy: [touching her bottom lip like he did earlier but pressing harder with his thumb than he did then 'just bother with me, no-one else'] Janis: [the noise she makes would be unholy 'cos the sheer tension 'that's already how it is, you're the only one I give a fuck about' ang gotta put that thumb in your mouth for the parallel] Jimmy: [a likewise unholy sound from him because of what she said and more noise because of what she did, trying to say fuck or something but its just a legit moan how he always does] Janis: ['you're so fucking hot' actually completing that sentence for once well done but the butterfly is gonna be ruined by how hard she goes in for this kiss 'I've never wanted anyone this bad, okay'] Jimmy: [shamelessly going hard up against the wall of this pub which anyone could walk out of at any time, love that for them] Janis: [safe to say after your performances lads, you do not give a fuck to begin with, never mind now Jimmy: [all he cares about is showing her that he's never wanted anyone this bad either, not soz passersby] Janis: [you've seen worse, you'll live everyone, they might die however] Jimmy: [they are gonna die cos you know he's gotta say her name and we know what that does] Janis: [rip, how do they go so hard but stay so soft too] Jimmy: [#goals 5ever] Jimmy: [like picture the scene, they are already going off dry humping against this wall cos god forbid you stop for a few mins so you can walk back but like of course he's gonna make it more extra by just slipping a hand so subtly under that waistband- stay inside for a bit please pub peeps- cos again god forbid you have some chill boy when you can stop kissing her at that exact moment to hear everything as you do. RIP to you both and ILY]] Janis: [arching her back and pushing into his hand 'cos 'fuck, Jimmy!' when you gotta turn your head to the side and bite your lip even harder 'cos trying to be quiet as standard] Jimmy: [How beautiful she'd look though bye, gotta bite her lip too and anywhere else you want so you don't get too extra with your words as well as your actions] Janis: [just putting your arms around his neck so you don't die] Jimmy: [we know he's dying too girl it's okay] Janis: [making eye contact to be like 'I missed you' don't know where either of you has been but okay] Jimmy: [we can assume he's had at least some time as a barista so it's fine lol 'I-me too'] Janis: [she probs means when she mentally goes away so I get it babe it's okay but probably kiss him so you shh] Jimmy: [all the kisses always tbh] Janis: [doing a lil lol at his face when you pull away 'cos they'd both be covered in paint now] Jimmy: [shameless excuse to touch her face and hair with his free hand though which is his soft boy fave so] Janis: [just having a time how are you ever gonna find the will to move lmao] Jimmy: [they so won't we might have to say some peeps come out of the pub, but imma let you finish or bit rude] Janis: [that would put an end to anything, drunk dickheads] Jimmy: [at least you don't have far to go home fr] Janis: [good luck getting straight in your room tho] Jimmy: [do finally have that shower tho, state of yous] Janis: [let's hope ian is dealing with the kids] Jimmy: [he'd have to unless that woman left then it's a free for all/Cass is sorting it] Janis: [want both him and them distracted ideally so make it happen world] Jimmy: [agreed]
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