#it'll get done but it's going to take so freakin long

[ikcaris]

chapter two is up 👀

Summary: Trevor has returned home a broken and worn man before, but this time he is met with more love and care than he knows what to do with.

Trevor x Sypha | Alucard x Greta | Trevor x Sypha x Alucard x Greta

[ernmark]

When I was in college, a friend of mine got a job at one of the campus help centers where they're supposed to help students who are struggling get their feet under them.

Based on his training there, he insisted that he wanted to have a similar session with me in order to Fix me.

(This speaks volumes about the help the other students were getting, I think.)

See, the entirety of his assistance was sitting with me and creating a nice, tidy little schedule for my life in fifteen-minute increments, with tidy little spots for daily workouts and weekly meal prep. And he kept getting frustrated with me for not being able to put my activities for the day in any order, or assign them specific periods of time, or being willing to commit to following this militant schedule to the letter.

He wouldn't hear the fact that I'm a writer-- I have no control over when the words come. Sometimes I'll be doing something Very Important and I'll have to put it on hold because if I don't write this line of dialogue down Right This Second it's going to make it impossible for me to focus at all. Sometimes I'll be staring at a blank word document for two hours and get a sentence and a half done. Sometimes it'll be three in the morning and I'll have been writing for five hours straight but I won't be able to sleep until I get it written.

He wouldn't hear the fact that I have debilitating depression, and sometimes it takes hours to gather enough energy just to get dressed.

He wouldn't hear the fact that I don't actually know how long something like cooking is going to take, because every recipe calls for completely different cook and prep time, and I can't predict what's going to be utterly unappetizing until I look in the fridge for that meal.

There was no accommodation for the fact that I have a sleep disorder, which between the depression and the rest, makes it damn well impossible to predict when I'll be able to start sleeping, or when I'd need to wake up in order to be rested.

And that's what it comes down to-- there was absolutely no leniency or accommodation for anything outside of that ultra-disciplined, hyper-regimented approach. There was no allowance made for neurodivergence or disability of any kind. Despite knowing me for years at that point, he couldn't understand why I just didn't Try Harder. Clearly I'd succeed if I just did it his way.

A few things that did actually help me, for the record:

When there's something that I Know is going to occupy the entirety of my brain until I do it, I just freakin' stop whatever else I'm doing and do it. In my case, that's usually writing down whatever bit is in my head, but also it can be getting out of bed to make sure I turned the stove off, or making sure I locked the door, or paying my credit card bills in the middle of the night, or whatever.

A lot of my executive dysfunction is exacerbated by sugar/protein levels, so I keep a supply of protein shakes on-hand. It doesn't necessarily fix my depressive episodes, but it gets me out of those loops where I can't do X until I do Y until I eat and I have to eat first because if I don't eat now then I won't be hungry for dinner and then blah blah blah.

On that note: I can't control when/how I sleep, but I can control how many meals I eat during a day and roughly when they happen. Eating regularly helps to make the rest of my natural rhythms a little more predictable.

I have a short list of foods that my household can reliably eat and try to keep the ingredients for that stocked.

I do actually do a little bit of scheduling-- I set aside a few-hour-block on two days of my week to work out. Not because I Must do it, but so that I'm not preoccupied with the constant background radiation of "I should be working out more". If it's not Monday or Friday, it's not going to happen.

Forgiving myself for not being at peak productivity levels at all times. My boss will get what I have it in me to give them, and not more. My writing might not be at its best all the time, but it's a hell of a lot better than a blank page. Pushing myself past my limits to adhere to an impossible standard only exacerbates all those other problems.

[bp-trio]

(  ALL IN ENGLISH )

[ CROWD CALLING ]

[ PAPARAZZI: HANA, OVER HERE ]

[ PAPARAZZI: HANA, OVER THE SHOULDER ]

Hana opens the door introducing herself with a smile. "Hey Vogue! It's Hana and you guys are getting ready with me for the Met." She says with a cheery tone as her staff cheer, causing her to giggle.

[ UPBEAT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC ]

Hana sits on her chair while her stylists swarm around her, trying to do her hair and makeup. "So today I'm going to be wearing a custom made dress and heels sent by the incredible Versace."

"The look is inspired by Barbie. So actually I was the one who came up with the theme of Barbie. One day I was watching Barbie: A fashion fairytale with my niece and I thought Barbie would be a good theme to go with as the theme for this year Met gala is the embodiment of an American style. And what's more American than Barbie. I actually dyed my hair blonde for the first time for this.”Hana explains her dress.

"So, I send my idea to Donatella and she absolutely loved the idea. So this is our take on Barbie, I guess." She says smiling before walking to into the closet to get changed before coming out in a very long pink dress. 

[ CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC ]

"Rose and I used to dream about ever attending a Met Ball. And never really even believing that would ever happen. Is the literally the biggest dream come true." She says doing a big twirl.

"This is my first time going to the Met gala so I'm just looking forward to being there. I feel like I've seen it for so many years, so it'll be interesting to see what reality of the Met really is. So I hope I don't trip On this dress." She stands still while her stylists are fixing the dress.

Hana now has her hair, nails and makeup done, so she begins to taking pictures on her phone in the mirror and having her staff help her take pictures for her.

Once she received the signal to leave, the Vogue camera follows her outside to where many fans stood behind barriers cheering and scream her name as she and her team leave the hotel. Hana waves at them as she was being escorted to the car. Hana blows a kiss to fans before the door was closed behind her.

"WE LOVE YOU HANA!" A group of fans cheer to the Vogue camera before the videos ends.

[ INTERVIEW; Blackpink's Hana on Attending Her First Met Gala | Met Gala 2021 With Emma Chamberlain ]

Hana walked up to Emma with a warm smile. “No freakin’ way.” Emma said. “Hi!” Hana said as she gave Emma a hug. “Umm, Hello. Excuse me but you look so gorgeous right now.” Hana thanked her. “Thank you. I’m glad my first gala is going well so far.”

“Wait! This is your first Met Gala?” Hana nodded. “No way. Me too.”

“Really?” Hana asked enthusiastically, now feeling less anxious since she wasn’t the only first-timer with Rosé. “Yeah! I honestly thought you have been to the Met before since you have become such a big icon in the fashion world.”

Hana shocked her head, “No, it’s my first time and Rosé’s.

“So, tell me about your outfit?”

“To do that, I would have to bring this brilliant woman to the spotlight.” Hana brings her hand out, and Donatella comes from the corner and takes her hand.

“Hi, how are you?” Donatella asked Emma, “I’m so good, how are you?”

“Very good, thank you.” Donatella responded with a smile.

“So obviously I know who you are wearing. Tell me how you guys came to the conclusion about this dress.”

“Well, when we found out about the theme for this year’s Met Gala, we had many ideas. Hana came up to the brilliant idea of using Barbie for the theme and it was only right that we create custom dress. It’s one for the books and Hana is perfect for this dress. She brings out every aspect of the dress and more.” Donatella explained with her thick Italian accent, her passion shown through each word she said.

“That’s amazing. You really pull of this dress amazingly. I love all of this. So how many Met Gala have you been to?” Emma asked Donatella. “Lots and lots. Twenty maybe?” Donatella laughed. “No way.”

“Yeah.”

“So I feel like you are the best person to ask this. What advice would you give to us? It’s my first and Hana’s. I have no idea what to expect.” Emma asked.

“You are gonna be surrounded by people with lots of creativity and the Met is one of those events that allow you to connect with people. There’s something very special about the Met. So when you are in this great building and have the courage, and freedom to express yourself. My big takeaway is have fun.”

“That’s amazing. Well, I’ll see you guys in there.”

“Thank you.” Hana and Donatella say simultaneously.

[ RED CARPET MOMENTS ]

• Hana and Rosé arriving together. Creating one of the most iconic pictures in the Met Gala history.

•Hana and Donatella Versace being each other’s date.

• Hana staying a little longer than she was supposed to watch Lil Nas X’s transformation on the red carpet.

• Hana and Normani posing together.

[ CLEVVER STYLE ]

[ Best & Worst dressed Met Gala 2021 ]

[ Drew Dorsey ]: oh man, you guys! It is not the first Monday in May, but it is a Monday in September. The 2021 Met Gala is coming at ya!

[ Jackie Iadonisi ]: I can't believe we're here. I can't believe people are actually there. On the carpet, walking it. We are at the 2021 Met Gala, it's happening!

[ Drew Dorsey ]: it's very exciting. This year's theme is America: A lexicon of Fashion and it is very exciting because we did not get the Met Gala last year but we are getting it in 2021. All guests are fully vaccinated and masked, and we are back in Here.

[ Jackie Iadonisi ]: woo woo! And it's also really important because this is coming off the 20th anniversary of 9/11, and it's the tail end of New York Fashion Week, so it's just fashion on fashion on fashion, people, people, people, outfits. I can't wait to see these looks.

[ Drew Dorsey ]: So exciting. Also can we talk about the co-chairs, okay? We have Billie Eilish, we have Hana, we have Rosé, we have Timothee Chalamet, and we are up in here, okay? So you guys know we gotta talk about the fashion.

[ Drew Dorsey ]: it's dirty laundry.

[ Jackie Iadonisi ]: you know. let's go.

( LIGHT MUSIC )

( SHOWS VIDEO OF HANA ON CARPET POSING FOR THE CAMERAS AND PICTURES OF HER )

[ Carly Henderson ]: Hana, looking like a true Barbie doll coming to live.

[ Renee Ariel ]: oh my god. I'm here everything about this. She looks absolutely stunning.

[ Jackie Iadonisi & Drew Dorsey]: Ooh, okayyy. Oh my god.

[ Drew Dorsey ]: Wow, she is so pretty and her dress it's to die for.

[ Jackie Iadonisi ]: Okay, Hana in all custom made Versace. Looking good, looking fly.

[ Renee Ariel ]: Listen, she brought it. This is her first ever Met Gala and I love this look.

[ Carly Henderson ]: I love that her waist looks so snatched and small. And it's makes it the dress look even more amazing than it already is.

[ Drew Dorsey ]: I love this Barbie theme look and the split in the dress is gorgeous and makes her legs look long and sexy. I absolutely love the slit v in the middle of the dress.

[ Jackie Iadonisi ]: I completely agree with you. Her eyes are so pretty.

[ Carly Henderson ]: oh, the jewelry!"

[ Renee Ariel ]: it's all custom made MIKIMOTO 18k Pearl necklace and earrings for her birthday.

[ Carly Henderson ]: oh wow. I wish I got all custom made 18k diamonds for my birthday.

[ Drew Dorsey ]: her shoulder look absolutely amazing. I love the fact she dyed her hair to blonde.

[ Jackie Iadonisi ]: we just gotta talk about Hana for a second, because she's been having a moment after a moment with her solo career. Ah, she is absolutely amazing and an icon.

[ Drew Dorsey ]: Then She brought it to the Met Gala in this, the dress looks like an art piece to me. This is such a gorgeous dress. The color on her is incredible, and the fact that she carried it on with the eyeshadow, this colorful pink makeup look of the night. Obsessed with it, and the confidence, taking up the space. I'm here for it.

[ AFTER PARTY ICONIC MOMENTS ]

•Hana arriving with Rosé. Both were seen dancing with many top celebrities, such as Olivia Rodrigo, smiling and laughing.

•Hana taking part in fun drinking games.

•Hana officially became best friends with Megan Thee Stallion.

•Hana dancing with Anitta and Lil Nas X.

•Many celebrities taking a photo with her and following her on social media.

•Rihanna posting Hana on her Insta story. In the clip, both of them look happy in each other's company where Hana waves at the cam and also showers a flying kiss.

•Rihanna saying she would steal Hana from her company to her sign if she had an entertainment agency.

•Hana, Hailey Bieber, and Kendall Jenner playing rock, paper, and scissors.

• Hana getting a ride in a private helicopter to her hotel.

[captainkippen]

HELLO ! feed me tyrus date headcanons please !! or literally any andi mack headcanons i love seeing everyone’s thoughts <333

Oof, it's been a while since I've done one of these so you'll have to excuse me if I'm a lil rusty!

• Their first official date is dinner at The Spoon and bowling. It's supposed to be chill, but Cyrus absolutely has a mini meltdown to Buffy and Andi right before. It takes until he sees TJ to calm down and remember it's just TJ.

• They hold hands under the table the entire time and get so absorbed in their conversation they almost forget to order food (baby taters is of course the main event).

• Afterwards they go bowling and play a surprisingly competitive game. TJ kinda loves how excited Cyrus gets when he's winning. It's cute.

• When TJ gets his first car the first thing he does is plan a surprise date to a drive-in theatre. They break down half way there and end up having a bizarre picnic of movie snacks out beneath the stars while they wait for roadside assistance. It didn't go as planned, but Cyrus maintains it's one of the most romantic dates they've ever had, especially since TJ lent him his jacket when it got chilly.

• When they're older they have a set Date Night™ every week (scheduling is a nightmare otherwise). At first they tried to plan exciting new things every time (rock climbing was a mistake and they ended up in the ER) but they've since learned the best dates are the ones where they get to spend hours talking and snuggling up together. They've yet to run out of things to discuss. Other couples keep telling them it'll happen, but Cyrus is pretty sure he and TJ could talk about the freakin weather and still have it be the most absorbing thing in the world. They just need each other and they're set.

• The worst date of their lives is also the best. Everything that can go wrong does. It's the middle of the week, they're both tired, work is hectic, the lease on their apartment is almost up and they still haven't managed to find a new one. TJ burns dinner by accident and gets so annoyed he kicks the oven. It breaks.

• Now, while TJ still has his moments, it's been a long time since Cyrus has seen him react to frustration like that. He's a little alarmed by the reaction, so he loops his arms around him, hooks a chin over his shoulder, and tells him that the charred lumps of misery are just "extra flavour, really, I bet it'll taste great!"

• TJ can't not laugh at that.

• Cyrus heads over to the refrigerator to dig out leftovers instead. It's pretty barren, but when he turns around to ask if TJ just wants to get takeout he finds his boyfriend down on one knee.

• Turns out TJ was frustrated that the night he was planning to propose hadn't gone perfectly. It didn't matter in the end though, all he needed was Cyrus.

• After fifteen years, two breakups (they were angsty teenagers and both times it lasted like... A Minute), and roughly five hundred or so dates, Cyrus says yes.

• Best date ever.

[spaceorphan18]

I'm just thinking out loud about things, please don't mind me.

I have a tendency to only blog about my life when it's going badly, and I mean it makes sense - in that sometimes you want to have a space to kind of think out loud and let it out. I'm sure most sane people journal or talk to a bff. I vent to an audience of strangers on the internet. Because I'm weird like that.

But, here's the thing, I'm not doing badly this time! Really, this is the sanest I've felt in a long time, and it's probably due to the fact that I've actually let myself rest (and got one part of my living space picked up). But I do have a lot of things on my mind, so this is me just kind of word vomiting about things kind of as an update as to where my life is at.

On Health: I think the tricky thing this year has been more my physical health than the mental. I'm mentally in a much better place than I was a year ago, and that's great. Now I have to get the physical side back in shape. I've had to run through different kinds of medication lately, and I think things might be straightened out? Also, I was sick most of last week, which didn't help. But I feel decent now - and I'm really hoping it'll stay that way, because I'm just so tired of not feeling well.

On Work: Work as been a lot. We fired the woman who was giving us problems - for anyone who wondered how that whole thing turned out. There's a lot of change happening, and some drama - which I've been grateful I have not been a part of. It's a lot. It's always a lot a lot a lot, but it's not Indiana. As hard and stressful as things can get here... it's not Indiana.

On Glee Things: Now that I'm kind of in a better mental space about it -- I think it'll be best if I just take a step back from any kind of community related thing. I think the thing I keep coming back to me is that Glee is just a part of me now. It's been with me for so long that it's very personal and between the weird up rising of fans who really are only seeing things in Black and White and the obtuse-ness of K and J's podcast sometimes I just can't with it anymore.

The tournament is going to play out quickly and then I'm done with that. Yes, I'm still writing. Yes, I'll still say my thoughts about the things Darren said. No, I'm never really going to go anywhere.

But I don't really want to be a part of the large fandom anymore.

That said -- I think what else has been bothering me is the fact that I miss so many people. The community that I was a part of just doesn't seem to be there anymore. And, I mean, I get it -- lots of people move on. Lots of people are busy. And there are a few of you that have been around and aren't going anywhere, either, and I do see you! But sometimes I wonder if I've come full circle in that I'm talking into an empty void again.

On X-Men things: Meanwhile, guys. I have a lot of thoughts. Marvel has always had a yo-yo effect on me, and I just have gone down the rabbit hole again. It's making me happy, and breaking my heart in the best possible way, and still making me happy. I apologize up front, because there are going to be a lot of X-Men things coming. (As usual, i'll tag it all)

On Reading: Idk, I just want to read more. I have a huge pile of things to read. And I just want to be more consistent about it.

On taking a freakin' break: My vacation is two weeks away. I'm going to take the pressure off myself and just let myself have a break, because I think that's what I really need.

Thankfully, it's spring, and this is my absolute favorite time of year as it gets warmer out.

Don't be a stranger, guys, I do love talking to all of you.

(And eventually, i'll get that queue going again.)

<3 <3

[demented-tours]

ADHD/Autism/Neuro-spicy/Exec Function Issues/Burnout Life Hack

So listen, as the owner and sometime operator of a brain with medium to hot neurospicy wiring, I occasionally struggle with... well. Everything. But particularly making myself do Small Tasks That Require One More Spoon Than I Ever Have Thanks To Having to Exist in this Dumpster Fire World AND Never Being Taught Anything Useful About Myself Much Less How to ACTUALLY Recharge or Regulate My Nervous System Which Only Has an "Actively Being Mauled By a Bear" Setting. (TM)

It's been a long few decades.

Anyway, as such, I have tried so many little ways to motivate myself, and some of them are decent, but I also have days where just... nothing seems to work.

Except this one thing. Now, it's only working NOW, but it seems to be working semi consistently, so I'm hopeful. Ish. As hopeful as I get anyway.

And it's low cost, requires no bullshit medical professionals or meds and it appeals to my competitive spirit and inner gamer nerd.

I figured I'd share here, though it's likely a terribly unoriginal idea, but hell, sometimes it's just reframing crap that you knew to be true once but forgot about it in the current depression-inspired stew.

We're gonna call this one Warmie Magic.

Step 1: Acquire/make a warmie. Those are the things you heat up and apply to body parts for relaxation/pain relief. They come in all shapes, sizes, stuffed animals forms. Let your sensory needs go wild. I like THIS ONE because it can be used on hot or cold settings and it comes unscented. It's also made for neck/shoulders, which basically always hurt. But they make them cheaper and in whatever shape you like. It just matters that you can heat it up in the microwave.

Step 2: Figure out your temperature setting timing for your warmie. For me, that warmie thing takes 4 minutes in my microwave to acquire that perfect near-scalding-yet-still-soothing temperature. Bonus if it's over 2 minutes of time, but really, whatever works, here.

Step 3: Fixate on some mundane, small task that you Need To Do: dishes. Laundry. List making. Toilet cleaning. Whatever. Put the warmie in the microwave, set the timer... Then get ready... get set... PUSHBUTTONANDGO! Try not to let your lack of body sense knock you into too many objects on your trajectory to the Task at Hand.

Step 4: Do the tasks for the duration of the short timer. You would be AMAZED at what you can do in 4 freakin minutes. Single load of laundry in machine. Or most of one load folded. Or at least a few pans washed. One toilet insides scrubbed. Dishwasher loaded/unloaded. Whatever--do it until the timer goes off.

Step 5: Stop the task, retrieve the warmie, and enjoy the sensory snuggle reward. Fuck about for a while.

Step 6: When the warmie is less warm, get up and repeat the process. OPTIONAL: Set another timer without the warmie and do it again while enjoying the sensory snuggle reward.

What I like about this is that I can trick my brain shit with the, "Well, hell, it's JUST four minutes" line. Or the, "We have to wait for the damn thing to warm up anyway, and it'll take fucking forever if we just stand here." Usually some combo, there, works. And it gives you a positive reinforcement reward that the body feels that isn't food oriented or what have you.

Obviously, your mileage will vary. All neurospicy settings are unique. I'm just going to enjoy this method while it manages to be effective. This is how I've made myself do my stretching routine, laundry, and dishes for the past few weeks, so...

This could also work for all sorts of things in all sorts of applications. I also used to write like this, sometimes. I'd set a timer for 30 minutes and just GO. Whatever happened in 30 minutes was golden. Six words or six thousand.

I've also done something like this with a snack pack of fruit snacks and I get one per tiny item completed because, yeah, my brain sometimes operates with a psychotic toddler's reward system setting. But it got the damn Wal Mart delivery unpacked.

Oh, and one last thing that's helped me... Do your breathing exercises to slow yea olde burnt out nervous system right after you pee. I can do a solid round of box breathing (5 seconds breathe in, 5 seconds hold, 5 seconds out, 5 seconds pause, rinse and repeat) while washing my hands. And sooner or later you have to pee so might as well use that as a functional reminder. Not that I remember to do this more than one time out of seventy, but in THEORY, it'd be great.

And now let's get back to our usual soft-porn-funny-shit-pretty-shinies programming around here.

<3Dee

[veryspecialfungus]

I'm gonna ask you to bare with me for a second here. I have a non-Psychonauts game that's been stuck in my craw ever since I played it.

And like...I don't know of anyone that's also played it or even heard of it. I guess this is a recommendation? All I know is that I can't stop thinking about it. I'm probably never going to forget it.

The game is out now, I just think this trailer gets the game across better than the release date trailer.

Farming sims are kind of an odd beast aren't they? Most of the time there's a Back to Nature Simpler Times Heal Your Soul By Growing a Simple Turnip theme but like...the mechanics never quite match for me. It's still capitalism. It's still running your farm the most efficient and money-making way possible to buy more stuff to make more money. That's not really a criticism, mind; I like farming games as much as the next person, even if the Cozy game genre has been throwing them out so hard and fast I needed to play a bloody violent shooter as a break from all the Wholesomeness.

So it was just a little bit of a lurch to play a game where the farming is working towards something, namely a ticket to the moon.

Before the Green Moon has you farming a piddly little patch of land on a post-apocalyptic Earth to save your pennies to start your life over. You know someone up on the moon colonies, or so you think. You haven't seen them in forever, there've been no letters. They might not be there anymore. They might not even be alive.

But what else are you going to do? The only way you have a future is on the moon. You can't live in this dinky little town of, like, six people forever.

But you do live there. You can't help but talk to them. You only get a few seeds every morning to start with, and once you're done with that there's just nothing else to freakin' do. They teach you to fish, they ask you to plant new seeds, you get a free stamina-boosting meal at the mess because you're a neighbor. You develop your relationships and make friends and become part of the community full in the knowledge that eventually you're leaving and never coming back.

It's a bittersweet experience. You might have guessed.

Before the Green Moon reminds me of a game Love De Lic might have made back in the day. Specifically, it reminds me of Moon RPG (hey wait a minute). The emphasis on being in the world and getting to know the community around you, sharing in their hopes and fears even though it's not really your world, not really your home. Maybe it could be, in a different life, under a different set of circumstances. But it's not. Eventually you'll move on. That's just the end of the story.

I love the way that hangs over your head the entire time. Do you really want to start dating the melancholy scientist girl when you know it'll only hurt her if it gets too serious before you go ? Do you come help the cook at the mess hall clean up each night or leave him to it when it seems like he's falling in love with you? What about the person who thinks farmers are bad luck? Do you keep up that relationship just because there's only six people to talk to total and you already chatted with the mayor today?

One thing that kept getting to me is that people from the moon come down to this crumbling little town you're trying to escape and they...suck? They really suck. They're too good to talk to you, they clog up the streets, they make the wait at the mess hall take two to three times as long, and they dump plastic takeout boxes and styrofoam cups all over the place. It's not clear why they've come down in the first place.

Maybe it's heartening to think you could come back to this little town if you wanted but...if you started a life on the moon and came back like this, who would even recognize you?

Aside from an annoying glitch where my anti hurricane poncho refused to protect me from hurricanes, I don't think I can speak highly enough of this game. It's a short experience that lives right in the middle of bitter and sweet and if you like contemplative atmospheric video games, I highly recommend it.

[ne0nlightzz]

CW: oddly aggressive self-directed criticism cuz im a dumbass with temper issues and lack of responsibility regarding my writing? also just a ranty rant cuz im kinda stressed out over random shitz- idk if this needs cw but here we go- also does this count as a progress update? again i dunno-

so i should be writing or at least working on requests- but after writing a whole chapter 5 of DFTS [the creepypasta x ftm!reader ive been writing] to the point that only touch ups, editing and double checking for major grammar/spelling errors was needed but then deciding i didn't like how it was written and felt it was a bit to cliché i went and deleted nearly the whole chapter [when it wasn't exactly that bad nor did it mess with/alter the plot that much and was fine since its just a filler chapter anyway] and decided to basically start from scratch.

normally this isn't that big of a deal, ive done it plenty of times with this story because not only do i want others to like it and enjoy the story, i also want to personally like it and enjoy writing the story, so again not really that big of a deal right? yeah that would be if i didn't procrastinate and put it off for like FOUR+ FREAKIN MONTHS- ive been working on that part little by little for like over four months because i went through a writer's block n health issues and family issues and setbacks cuz my life is just a total shitshow but i just deleted four+ months of on and off work cuz i didn't like it- AND IM SUPPOSED TO POST MONTHLY- and ykw i don't have time for a dumb lil personal dislike of a mostly decent FILLER CHAPTER- [not even a super important chapter!!] cuz i have school shit to do and requests to write and a deadline for the next part of another story ive been writing [that i have to get written, edited and posted before october cuz once its october it'll be a year since i update and whenever i update a year later i always lose hope for the story-].

i lost where i was going with this rant but im highly considering closing requests until i can get what is in my inbox written and posted along with at least one of my other works updated- i dunno i might just go try to figure out how to scene kid/emo-fy my furby and see if thats less stressful- [i say as i got mad paint a shelf last week- even simple projects are driving me insane and aren't going well- n imma stop ranting now cuz omfg why did i type so much- ALSO REQS ARENT ACTUALLY CLOSED- IF I CLOSE REQS I WILL MAKE THAT ITS OWN POST-]

[btw nothing negative or anything towards anyone whos sent reqs, i love getting them n they make me happy and usually help motivate me! im just stressed with myself for procrastinating so much with writing and pushing it all off for so long and also for not trying to push through that writers block sooner- also just with school cuz i skipped out over the summer which was supposed to be used as time for me to catch up and also just stressed and angry as my shitshow of a life for never calming down or giving me or my family a break, like i haven't solidly worked on a hobby and enjoyed it in a while- mk imma stop the dumb rant again cuz i need to stop and go calm the hell down and take my focus off of writing n all for a lil bit-]

[liibrii]

Built for eternity  

deity!Atsumu x gn!reader || crack/fluff || wc: 1.6k || 🦊

Synopsis: Once Atsumu was a great deity, equally loved and feared but after taking a very long nap he wakes up to a world that has forgotten him. Everyone but your group that’s digging up his old shrine. He's sure you'll be his new followers so why on Earth are you destroying his house?!

warnings: barely proofread, general stupidity, cursing, suggestive moments, archaeological mumbo jumbo, Atsumu is a god of something but it's vague and not really important, also gods exist and everybody is chill with that, reader is a very tired archaeologist and done with everybody’s shit

a/n: after 3 days of rain and 6 straight hours of shovelling dirt I had an epiphany. idk, it made me laugh so I decided to scribble it down. and yes, don’t mess with a profile unless you want archaeologists to hate you forever as always feedback is greatly appreciated!

Once Atsumu was a great deity with shrines and temples at every corner. Nowadays the only ones remembering him are obscure books only used for collecting dust. But that is about to change. Atsumu is sure of that. 

Group of loyal followers has gathered where his shrine once stood, a small one, one he never really cared about but these days he'll take every crumb of adoration he can. And the crumbs are a plenty as the group digs up the shrine, excited about the pottery shards and walls coming to light. 

They call themselves archaeo-something, architects probably since they will rebuild his power. Yes, excellent, it pleases him to see you all rejoice, taking pictures of everything, you will be his new followers and more will follow, he'll be a great deity again, equally loved and feared-

“Aright, take the wall out!“

Huh?

Why are ya destroyin’ his shrine?! No, no, no, stop breakin’ apart the walls! That was the inner altar, what are ya pigs doin’?!

Thunder rumbles and a downpour falls for days, and still those little crawly humans continue to destroy his shrine, his precious walls, and take away the last remains of old offerings. Oh he's going to have a word with all of you freakin' stumblin’ humans, ya better know yer damn places. But he'll start with the one in charge.

The excavation site is empty when he decides to approach you. You're shovelling away dirt, though you should've started with your shoes and clothes. You turn when you hear someone approach and your eyes widen, as they should, thinks Atsumu, at least someone 'round here should show him the respect he deserves, he's a god after-

“Hey! You're standing on my feature! Get off, shoo, shoo! And watch out for the profile! I just cleaned the damn thing. Excavation site is closed to the public Mister so I'll have to ask you to leave.“

Exca- what? Leave? It’s his shrine! Humans shouldn’t react to his presence the way you did, that's just, it's not what humans do! 

“But I live here.“

“You-? Oh. You're still standing on my feature, get off already,“ you pull him off the patch of dark soil that to him looks the same as the patch where he's standing now.

“Why are ya destroyin' my shrine?“

You wipe away the sweat on your forehead, or maybe it's rain, with raindrops still falling he can't really tell. “We're not destroying anything, we're digging it up. Documenting it. It'll get destroyed once the apartment complex is build here. Come on, stay away from the profile!“

You return to scrapping the patch of dirt and Atsumu feels some very confusing mixture of rage that you, a lowly little human being, are talking to him like he's a nuisance, and being very pleased because when you lean down to scrap the soil he has an incredible view of your behind, and whew, that's a very nice ass. He shouldn't look, staring is rude, but what else is he supposed to look at, there's just soil, and holes dug into the ground, a weird green box atop a yellow tripod, a shovel, and some stones, one beside your left leg, such good looking legs indeed, there's a mud stain all over your ass-

No! You're tearing down the last remains of his shrine! “Human. I order ya to stop doin' what yer doin' and answer my questions!“

You glance over your shoulder. “Sure. I'll keep on working and you ask me what you want to know.“

Why are you so calm?! He's a deity, a god, you should be on your knees begging for your life to be spared, not scrapping the ground, oh holy bean sprouts and apples, why does your ass look so good? “Do ya know who I am?“

“The one of many names. The Twofaced god.“ You straighten up just to change gardening hoe for a shovel.

“Why aren't ya scared then?“

“I've met your kind before,“ you shovel the dirt onto a big pile a few steps away. “Though they usually don't go around destroying my surfaces. A clumsy god is a first. Oh, what's this? Pottery, nice,“ you mumble as you turn a small object covered with soil in your hand.

“Hey. Show me some respect or-“

“Or what? You’ll make it rain again? Joke's on you I've been soaked through and through for the last three days. Hand me the trowel?“

“Yer extremely impolite.“

To his utter surprise you burst into laughter. “Listen your holiness it's Friday afternoon, I’m tired, my clothes are completely wet, I'm cold, I have gravel in my shoes, my shoulders are killing me, and I'm more than ready to go home. But before that I have a feature to document. The one that you so kindly stepped in. Now, please show me your godly powers and hand me the trowel. The mini shovel. Red handle. No, left. Left. That's the one, thank you, what did I tell you, watch the profile man!“

Good grief, have humans always been so demanding?

“Will my shrine be rebuild?“

“If your shrine is an apartment complex, sure. Give it a few weeks and it will be good as new. Literally.“ When you see his face your expression softens a little. “No. It won’t be. We'll look at the remains to figure out when it was abandoned, what happened, that sort of thing.“

“But yer an architect. Architects build things.“ He heard people of your group call themselves that. They talked about how the walls had been built though he quickly stoped listening. “This shrine was built for eternity!“

“Archaeologist.“

“What?

“You meant I’m an archaeologist. Not architect. I don't plan buildings, I dig them up once their eternity passes.“

“It's eternity! It doesn't pass! Go dig somewhere else!“

You sigh. You look almost as exhausted as he did before taking his a few thousand years long nap. “Great, you're one of those people. Always complaining, why is it taking so long, why do you have to dig on my building site? Well mister it ain't my fault you decided to build atop of my neolithic settlement. Hey, grab the hoe.“

“The what?“

“The thing by your feet. No, that's a trowel. The one with the long handle. No, that’s a pickaxe, yes that's the one. See there? Your footprints. Clean them. Come on, don't just stand around and look pretty, get to hoeing.“

“Right here? Out in the open?“ He wiggles his eyebrows at you. “Yer an intriguin'-“

“Clean them away.“

Atsumu does as you say all while grinning. You're getting flustered. Humans and their brave facades, we'll see how long you manage to hold your own up.

“There.“ It only took four scraps to get rid of the footprints but Atsumu proclaims it so proudly he might as well just have dug up the entire excavation site on his own. “That was as easy-“ As he steps away ground under his foot crumbles and he hears your shocked shriek.

“My profile!“

Oh dear. The word he’d use to describe the look on your face when you see the collapsed pile of dirt beside the hole in the cross section would be heartbroken. Devastated. On verge of tears. Irritated. Angry. Enraged? 

“What did I tell you?! I gave you one job, one job you clumsy wanna be deity! Oh fuck, come on, I’m to tired for this.“

“’m sorry,“ Atsumu mumbles. His ears are on fire.

“Yeah you better be. Shit, fuck, what am I supposed to do?“ You look at him the same way someone in a hurry looks at a doorknob when their jacket gets caught on it. “You. Here.“

“What's-“

“Don’t tell me you don’t know what a shovel is. You destroyed my profile. I'm very tired. I'm very angry. I don't care if you're a god or a plastic straw, right now you will help me fix it. Shovel straight down. I want a right angle.“ 

With his strength evening out the cross section proves to be no problem at all. He glances over at you, do you see what a good job he’s doing, maybe he messed up before but now he’s doing great, as you pay him no attention and write something on a small blackboard. A bunch of numbers and words. He recognises there's a date. What could the others mean? You lean down to reach for, oh that mud stain on your trousers is actually a hand print. You must've wiped your hand on your ass- 

The shovel slips. Luckily you're too preoccupied with your camera to take notice of it.

“Are you done?“ you ask without looking up and he stutters out an 'almost' since he's almost sure it isn’t just the shovel that’s slipping. “Looks good.“ You say more to yourself than him. 

He thinks you're pretty cute when you're not chewing him out for stepping onto that one patch of dirt. The way you lift the camera up and take photos of that patch of dirt is pretty cute too. 

“Help me pack up,“ you say once you’re done. He doesn’t need to be told twice, already gathering your tools. “All things considered you weren’t so bad. Maybe you should consider becoming the god of archaeologists.“ Your smile is incredibly cute too. “Fancy a drink?“

[myinterestsvary-writes]

Why do you have an issue with Katara not helping to rebuild TSW in the comics? She went home didn’t she and she didn’t like what was happening. It was already freakin’ rebuilt by the time she got there. Plus (and it’s very easy to tell because of the entire series) she loves going around to world helping people everywhere.

This is experimental and might be me parroting fandom discourse talking points surrounding Katara's portrayal post ATLA:

She may love going around the world helping people, but Katara also loves her heritage and home as well. She was nomadic by circumstances in her choice to aide Aang in stopping the war and now that the war is over and temperaments surely changes after said war, she can stay back at the Southern Water Tribe in its rebuilding by choice this time, not have primarily Pakku, Melina and her brother, and Hakoda do that instead (you know, the actual adults picking up the slack from where their kids left them; I'm actually totally fine with these people rebuilding SWT as well, anon, but Katara does need more things to do or to have been suggested she had done in The Legend of Korra for objectivity's sake).

She fell in love with Aang along the way and so of course she'd compromise her urges to return home sooner, but eventually she would have to return and ideally she'd stay behind for far longer than presented in the comics, honing her political skills further.

Now, with Katara on track to becoming an Ambassador (btw, stole that idea, from guess who?), she'll have to stay a couple years away from Aang since he has obligations to places far beyond the SWT himself. Though he'd make sure to visit often, sometimes they'd rendezvous across certain places on the globe and meet there instead.

Suddenly, omg, Katara becomes pregnant with his babeh and now she's confused on what to do. She tells Aang via letter her condition, and it isn't until months later that he is able to make his way back to her, Katara five months along. The next time Aang has to leave, Katara comes with him and eventually she gives birth at Toph Beifong's metalbending school with Toph this time as the midwife.

First Name Bumi is born, and they're all happy and healthy. He turns out to be a nonbender, and all the inadequacy issues he will still have are explicitly presented as him projecting his own insecurities onto his father that do have some truth to it that Aang admits to and works on with him with encouragement from Katara and not necessarily because his father showed obvious favouritism for his younger brother First Name Tenzin Gyasto. If Aang must take only Tenzin on trips, Bumi understands and learns to cope with it in a healthy way since he would spend a lot of time with Katara who's extremely emotionally intelligent after all (which is learned and not only innate) and if he were to bring it up years later in his elderly years long after either parent's death, then he'll recognize that the least he can do is honour them in the best way he can having never gained airbending abilities.

It'll be easier to do that too with new Airbenders mysteriously being born at a rapid rate decades after the century long war, not envying his father and little brother painstakingly training them and inevitably becoming overwhelmed.

He becomes a major advocate for Air Acolytes and Air Nomad cultural restoration. He also helps the Southern Water Tribe in building their own navy alongside his uncle and grandfather, and especially with the help of the Northern Water Tribe with Katara, Kanna, and Pakku having helped tremendously in repairing the relationship between the North and South. The highest title he'll ever achieve and relish in is Admiral (not General lmao). Bumi has his first child around the time Aang passes at 189 or another appropriately old age, to where Bumi is around 60 at the time.

Tenzin is similar to his canon counterpart, but he has much more kids and is even more stressed out. Pema is a little bit older when they get together and since they continue to have babies well into her 40s, they end up having two sets of multiples. All of them airbenders, except two who are waterbenders.

I don't have much I want to change about Kya II. Even her name. I think Kya is so upset with Aang in TLOK mostly because she saw how it affected Bumi and Katara and probably even Tenzin (but if I'd change one thing about her, it'd be her realising that she blamed Aang a little bit too much and should try to understand him better and from there on give him more respect), not needing to see her father as much since she had such a close relationship with her mother and when she does see her father, he can easily secure her in his love and faith in her. She doesn't have children not only because she's sapphic but because she thinks carrying a man's seed will ruin her aura. Kya ironically becomes a councilwoman in Republic City or perhaps another place I can come up with Aang and Zuko create together.

I guess the reason I like them having three kids is because it pays homage to the initial trio from the original series. The reason why I changed Kya and Tenzin's birth order though is because Katara having a little baby all to herself to mold into a beautiful young lady like her while her big brothers and father do their own things is too cute to pass up. That's all. It's all for Katara to have a living, breathing human doll. No gender hierarchies in mind here, too complicated for my brain right now.

Inexplicably, Katara's life begins to revolve around her children after their births and also Aang from then on which she is content with. Aang and Katara never get married, breaking SWT tradition and Aang being primarily involved in his children's lives is something he didn't grow up with or expect and vaguely heard of other Air Nomads having hundreds of temporary sexual partners throughout their adult lives but ultimately concludes he's content with just Katara. Aang being a father is something he slowly adapted to (being a mediocre father actually in each of their teenage years which caused rifts in his union with Katara but yet they stayed devoted to one another wordlessly anyways from then on even with their relationship being an open one that Katara indulges in more than Aang does usually because they're most comfortable and secure with one another).

Now with Katara's kids grown and independent, Katara goes back to being an Ambassador and even explores other career opportunities, travelling the world once again with Aang and other loved ones who are down. She hones her healing and fighting skills simultaneously and eventually comes to find healing thrills her more than fighting used to. She becomes world renowned in her bending abilities and activism and lives the rest of her days in peace.

She gets a statue after she passes.

[lovinlikeloki]

The Lone Wolf

Masterlist // 05

Warnings: Swearing

Word Count: 4.2k

I was in my wolf form when my cage was being opened, I looked to the twins' cells, Wanda nodded to me ever so subtly, flickered her hands slightly and I knew. It was time. The guard opened the barred door and I took my chance, I dug my claws into his chest, he began bleeding and I pushed harshly past him. I turned back to my human form and knocked him over the head hard enough to knock him out.

I took the keys to the twins' cells from his unconscious body and swung them around my left index finger. I smiled to the twins and they smiled back.

"So..." I smirked at them, "Who wants to escape from some science Nazis?"

I shoved the key into the lock of Wanda's cell and turned it, opening the door and she smiled at me, she ruffled my hair as she left the cell and we moved onto my beloved's cell. I put the key in and turned it impatiently, wanting to see him free. When the door opened he spared no time running over to me and engulfing me in his arms.

"I knew you could do it mi prințesa," he said into my hair and I pulled back from the hug.

(My princess)

"Of course, mo chroí, have I ever failed you yet?" I quirked an eyebrow at him.

(My heart)

"Enough," Wanda interrupted his answer, "You'll have time for all that when we are gone."

"She makes a point, a stór," I looked in my love's eyes before turning away.

(Darling)

"Wanda, you got the cameras in here, you have to do that before every room we enter, even then they probably know that we're escaping. Piet, I need you to get me a gun, as quick as you can, without getting caught. I'm busting us out of here and I don't care how many people's blood I spill as long as we get out alive," I order, I may be younger than them, but our escape was mostly my plan and they don't have any less respect for me because of my slight age difference.

"Got it," they replied before doing as asked. Wanda fucked with the camera in the next room and we took down the guards, Pietro picked up a gun and threw it to me, I caught it and felt the adrenaline coursing through my veins as I fiddled with the trigger.

I nodded to them and we began moving through the base. We made quick work of the guards that tried to capture us, a bullet shot here, some telekinetic intervention there, all in all it there didn't seem to be any problems.

We made it to the back exit and began leaving. That was when it happened. When we failed. When we were split up. We were running as fast as we could, leaving the god forsaken place when I turned around, just for a second, and saw Wanda missing.

"Mo ghrá, I said, "Where's Wanda?"

Pietro looked behind him and saw her gone as well, "I will find her," he told me before giving me a kiss on my forehead.

"Be quick," I told him, "Be safe. Come back to me."

"Always, malen'kaya Volchitsa."

And with that he turned and ran back to find his sister while I kept running away.

I jolt awake, sitting up and gasping for air, eyes wide. It was just a nightmare... no, not a nightmare, a memory. That day was the last I saw of them. The last I saw of him. I didn't even get to say a real goodbye. Now he's gone.

My panting and shaking awakens Wanda, she sits up slowly before taking my hands in hers. She smiles sadly at me as tears stream down my face.

"Este în regulă draga mea, ești bine, totul este în regulă," she comforts me.

(It's okay my dear, you're okay, everything's fine)

"Níl sé, níl gach rud i gceart. Tá achan rud ag titim as a chéile arís. Ní thig liom thú a fhágáil. Fuair duine againn bás an uair deirneach," I sob to her.

(It's not, everything's not okay. Everything's falling apart again. I can't leave you. One of us died last time)

"Nu, nu este. Ultima data a fost diferită. De data aceasta vom rămâne în legătură. Mi voi fi niciodată mai mult decât un telefon depart."

(No, it's not. Last time was different. This time we will stay in touch. I will never be more than a phone call away)

Phone call. Phone call. My mind sobers as I realise what must've happened back home and I haven't even taken the time for a phone call.

"I- I have to go," I say, slipping out of my mother tongue and into English, stepping out of bed and grabbing my phone.

"Where are you-" I cut Wanda off.

"I need to make a phone call."

"Fianna, it's late."

"I have to."

With that I leave the room, I don't know where to go and so I just kinda linger in the hallway, pacing back and forth. I unlock my phone and go to my contacts, I scroll until I hit it, 'Eo' it's my contact for Eoghan. It's not what I would want my father figure's number as, but I try to keep it professional so...

I hit call and wait as the phone rings. Once. Twice. And on the third he picks up. I let out a breath as he greets me.

"Hello? Fianna? Are you okay?" he asks me.

"Ye-yeah I am," I say before biting the drawstring of my hoodie, "That's a lie. I'm, I'm not okay Eoghan," I confess to him.

"Talk t' me. What's wrong?"

"I uh, I had a nightmare," I tell him, shoving my spare hand into the pocket of the hoodie.

"Okay, nightmare," he repeats and I can practically see him nodding in understanding, "Do you want to talk about it Fi, or do you just want someone to talk to?"

I shake my head, knowing he can't see it, "Talk to someone. I actually called you to, um, to apologise. I know that you probably got dragged into my mess and I wanna make sure that you and Orlaith and the rest of you are doing alright."

There's a slight hesitation before Eoghan speaks again, "What are you talking about?"

"I mean when the feds showed up... right after I busted out of the Raft," I say slowly, confused by his confusion.

"No one showed up here Mactíre," Eoghan assures me, slipping in my merc name. "I haven't a clue what you're on about. What do ye mean busted out?"

"Okay, look, when Wanda called me I was gonna fight a couple of her friends, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well basically it all went down in this airport runway. To be honest with ye there was like twelve of us all together and it looked more like a scrap between a few chavs in a Tesco car park than a fricken civil war between the Avengers."

"Okay," Eoghan laughs at that, which was my intention, because he won't be laughing in a second.

"Basically there was this thing called the Sokovia Accords, it basically bans the Avengers from fighting without their ma and da, a bunch of governments, saying they can. Mister America and his old bestie broke that rule and so they became criminals, I and some others helped and that made us all criminals."

"Heh, I'm sorry, what the fuck?" Eoghan asks in a slightly higher octave than usual, yeah, he's pissed at me.

"Yeah... and so we were sent to this superhero jail that was in the middle of the fuckin' ocean. After a couple o' days Stars and Stripes teamed up with some Emo Hello Kitty looking fella and the freakin' Black Widow to bust us out. We're staying in Wakanda right now."

"Okay... let me get this straight," Eoghan says, exasperatedly. "You, and some of America's little mascots, fought the other half of America's mascots. Then you were thrown into a jail cruise ship-"

"It wasn't quite that luxurious Eo, I had a shock collar on," I interrupt with a deadpan tone.

"You fucking what?! Let me continue, you were thrown into a submarine jail, with a shock collar on. Couple o' days later you get broken out of said submarine jail. And now you're staying in a third world country?" Eoghan questions, clearly regretting emotionally adopting me. I don't blame him either, I'm a real problem child.

"I- technically yes. But I'm not coming home is the main point here."

"Why? Why not? Fianna this place is your home, we're you family."

"You are," I agree, fiddling with the zipper of my hoodie nervously. "But if I show up back home then word will get out where I am. I don't want to endanger my family and their jobs. Trust me. Besides, I have a place to stay."

"Where? Where the hell are you staying that would be safer than here?"

"Listen, I hate it as much as you do... probably more. I'm going to New York to stay with... Stark," I sigh, stopping my fiddling.

"Stark? Why would you do that?" Eoghan asks incredulously.

"Because it'll keep us all safe. Me away from that floating ocean pokey and the feds away from you. Trust me, it's for the best."

"But Fianna, you hate him. What about what he did? Don't you remember the pain it caused you? The pain that you caused? Mactíre," he says dangerously.

"Eoghan," I say in a low voice, laced with anger, "Don't go there. I don't want to do this, but it's for the best, if it were up to me I'd be going home... or Madripoor."

"Jesus Christ," he whispers, "Right, well you'll stay in touch, that's for sure. And you'll call Orlaith in the morning, she's worried about you... Tommy too."

I perk up at that, "Tommy? How is he? Is he okay? Have they done anything to him? I swear I'll kill them if they touched a hair on his head," I fire question after question.

"Tommy's fine, he just wants to know how you are, what you're doing etc. They haven't done anything to him, not that I know of at least. Look, I'll get Orlaith to call you in the morning, she'll have Tommy with her and you can talk to them both, okay? It's getting late."

I sigh and look to the ground, "Alright, I have to go back to sleep anyways."

"Oíche mhaith, m'iníon. Go mbeadh aisling aláinn agat."

(Goodnight, my daughter. Have sweet dreams.)

"Oíche mhaith daidí, go raibh míle maith agat."

(Goodnight dad, thanks a million.)

And with that I hang up. My eyes fog over with tears and I simply let them fall. I've been crying a lot more lately; I feel like a fricken crybaby. A lot of emotions have been stirring up and I hate it, I hate the weakness that's overcoming me. I can't let myself feel so deeply, especially negatively... not after last time.

I go back into the bedroom and get into bed. I hug myself and shrink into the hoodie as best I can. It used to be Eoghan's, this hoodie, he gave it to me when I first moved into St. Marie's. I barely had anything and he just gave me the hoodie, it's definitely not perfect, it has burns around the cuffs and the zipper always gets a bit stuck halfway up, but I wouldn't give it up for anything. It's like a safety blanket for me, it makes me think of him and feel safe. After a few minutes I eventually drift off to sleep.

° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆ ° ∆ -------- ••• ------- ∆°

I stayed in the bedroom most of the morning, on my phone messaging a tumblr mutual. Her URL is FriendlessGhost17, mine is Coilean07. We met last year, round abouts when a week into me living at St. Marie's. She lives in NYC and so it might be a good idea to talk to her in case we end up running into each other. We've facetimed and called many times but we've never actually met in person.

I say my goodbyes and sigh. Life just sucks a lot at the moment, but what can I say? That's what happens when you go down the road of off-the-books illegal experimentation, I guess.

I hear a knock on the door, "Come in," I say, not looking up from my scrolling.

"You gonna join the land of the livin' today?" I look up and see Sam, arms crossed, leaning in the doorway.

"Uh, yeah, I just- I was messaging a friend," I tell him.

"Nothing revealing though, right?" he raises an eyebrow.

"Of course not," I dismiss, "I'm not an amateur. I told her I was with my sister but have to leave her again. I don't always tell the truth, but I'm always honest. It's a fine line to walk but a good loophole to have."

Sam ventures further into the room, "So you're good at what you do, that's reassuring... I think. Look I know this isn't gonna be fun for you, staying with Stark, but sometimes that's just how it is, that's how life is."

"Not gonna be fun? You really don't know me, do you?" I laugh humourlessly.

"No, no I don't," Sam admits, shaking his head and sitting on the edge of the bed next to me.

"Well, essentially Stark has hurt everyone I love and, I can hold a grudge like nobody's business. It's not just gonna be 'not fun' it's gonna feel like a betrayal. But I don't wanna focus on that, I wanna enjoy my time before I go to that stuck-up, narcissistic ass."

Sam smiles for a second, "You know, Steve would be disappointed if he heard that kinda language out of you."

I raise an eyebrow, "He was in the army and from the 40s, I'm sure he has no room to talk. I bet people make assumptions and he just doesn't dispute them. I bet his birthday isn't even the fourth of July, someone assumed it was and now he lives in fear of anyone finding his birth certificate."

Sam laughed out loud at that and I had to join him, I've been on tumblr long enough to have to many thoughts about America's favourite boy scout. Sam and I talk for a while, about Steve, about Wanda, I even get some stories about his old days in the army. He tells me about the missions he flew and I learn more about his wings. Then he tells me how he met Steve and Natasha.

"So he, he lapped you how many times?" I ask incredulously.

"Thirteen. He lapped me thirteen times! And he kept saying 'on your left' to like warn me he was lapping me, like it felt like he was doing it on purpose," Sam scowls.

"He probably was, I mean I read about him a bit in school and apparently he was always a little shit, he just got away with it since he was a stick and had like every illness to ever exist in the 30s," I tell him.

"Maybe," Sam says, "But yeah, that's how we met. And then a few days later he shows up at my house with Natasha and tells me 'everyone we know is tryna kill us' like no hellos, no 'how are you's, just straight to the point."

"And you just let them in?" I cock an eyebrow.

"Well yeah, Captain America shows up at your door, what are you not gonna let him in?"

"It would make a pretty funny story don't you think? 'Captain America and Black Widow showed up at my house and I turned them down.' I think that'd be hilarious. But naw, I'd let them in surely."

Then there's a vibration from my phone. I look at the screen as it lights up and see that Orlaith sent me a snap.

I look back up to continue the conversation with Sam but he shakes his head.

"You can talk to your friends, don't worry. I just talked your ear off for the last hour or so, you can get back to your friend now," he tells me.

I smile at him softly, "Thanks Sam. And this talk was good, by the way, you didn't talk my ear off. You distracted me and I appreciate it."

He gets off the bed and turns to me, "That used to be my job you know, helping other Vets with PTSD. I thought you'd prefer to be distracted than reminded of what's happening and so I just catered to that rather than pushing you."

"Really Sam, thank you. But now I gotta have a difficult conversation about what's happening so... I guess I can't put it off any longer," I sigh.

"Good luck, Fianna, you can do this," Sam tells me before leaving and closing the door.

I open the message from Orlaith.

I find Orlaith's number in my contact list and hit call.

It only takes one ring and she picks up, "Hiiii, how did it go?"

"It went good Orlaith," I tell her, a smile already on my face from hearing her voice. "And I got to see Wands again which has done me wonders, really."

"That's great to hear, oh and you're on speaker," Orlaith tells me.

"Hey Fi," I hear Tommy's voice and I nearly start crying.

"Mo dearthair bheag Tommy, ta sé ar dóigh le do guth a cloisteáil arís. Cad é mar atá tú, coiléan bheag?" I ask, slipping into my first language after hearing my baby brother's voice for the first time in a couple weeks.

(My little brother Tommy, how amazing it is to hear your voice again. How are you, little pup?"

"Táim I gceart, Mactíre," he mocks, "Agus an miste leat gan ag cuir sin orm? Ní páiste mé níos mó!"

(I'm fine, Mactíre. And do you mind not calling me that? I'm not a kid anymore!)

"Ach is páiste thú dom. Bheul, ar a laghad is dearthair bheag s'agam thú. Má chuireann sé isteach ort an méid sin, stadfaidh mé."

(But you're a kid to me. Well, you're my little brother at least. If it annoys you that much I'll stop.)

"Hey! Is grá liom go bhfuil sibh in ann labhairt le chéile ach tá mise anseo fostaaa!" Orlaith butts in.

(Hey! I love that you're able to talk but I'm here toooo!)

"Ceart go leor, sionnach," Tommy says, "Cad é ar mhaith leat a labhairt faoi?"

(Fine, Fox. What would you like to talk about?)

"First of all, that nickname is so old, like first year old. And that was like four years ago. Anyway, let's start with where your big sis is? Huh, how about that?" Orlaith begins, slipping back into English.

"Well... I may or may not be in the palace of Wakanda," I reveal. I can trust them, they won't tell.

"You're where?" Tommy questions.

"Wakanda."

"Get de fuck!" he exclaims.

"I'm not messing Tom. And I'm not staying here much longer either."

"You're coming back home again?" Orlaith asks.

"Not- not exactly, Orls," I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to figure out a way to tell them, to tell Tommy that I'm not coming home. "I'm going to New York, I'm going to New York, a thaisce, and I have to stay with Stark."

(Love {term of endearment})

"With- With Stark as in Tony Stark?" Orlaith asks.

"As in the one who you despise with a burning passion?" Tommy adds on.

"Yeah, that's, that would be him," I sigh.

"How are you- How will he survive that?" Tommy asks.

"Why do you have to go to that cunt?" Orlaith questions at the same time.

"Orlaith!" I hear Eoghan scolding her in the background, they must be at St. Marie's.

"Sorry Eoghan, sorry Tommy," Orlaith apologises.

"Hey Eoghan," I say into the phone.

"Hey Fia, I'm just making sure these two got through de ye. I still think ye should be here, but never mind me, keep yer chin up, I'll talk de ye later," he tells me, his parental feelings slipping through the professional mask he tries to wear.

"Of course Eo, we'll talk later," I reassure.

"I have de leave now, Liam's looking another pint," he tells me.

"Bye Eoghannnn," I sing.

"Goodbye Fianna."

"Well, back to our conversation," Tommy says, "Why are you going de Stark of all people?"

"Essentially I might have accidentally made myself an international criminal when helping Wands," I say, my voice raising octaves as I speak.

"Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey they rode in on. How did ye manage that Fianna?" Tommy asks incredulously.

"Tomás Ronan McConnell!" I reprimand. "What have I tol' you about blasphemy?"

"Not to," he grumbles.

"Exactly, so would you like to rephrase that?" I raise an eyebrow and I know he can feel it through the phone.

"How did you manage de be a criminal helping your sister?" he rephrases the question.

I smile at Tommy calling Wanda my sister, he might never have met her but he still considers her my sister, and even his in a way.

"Look, it was just a job gone wrong. It's not even... it's not my choice, I have de go t' Stark because he can protect me from the Feds. But... I won't be with him for long," I lie. I don't want to lie, but I need to protect them, if they think I'm coming back then they won't take it so hard.

"Right, well ye better get back soon okay? I miss my bitch of a big sister!" Tommy tells me and tears prick my eyes.

"Yeah, yeah I'll be back soon," I nod, tears falling as I keep my voice steady, "And when I get back we're spending the whole day together, I don't care what Erin and Shéa have to say about it."

"All three of us," Orlaith adds, "And we're gonna have the best time, right? We'll go to The Amusements and we'll go de the cinema and we'll go to Foyleside and just spend the whole day together.

"We will," the tears falling with ease but I keep my voice level, "God, I can't wait to see you two again. When I get back yous'll be sick of me, clinging de yous like a wane."

There's a beat of silence as we think about that day... the day that won't come for a long time. Not that they know that. It still hurts though; I miss my brother and my best friend. But no more tears, I wipe them away and clear my throat.

"We have to go," Orlaith says guiltily. "Mam is looking me back in ten minutes and Tommy needs to get back before they realise how long he's been gone."

"Okay, okay," I inhale sharply "Slán Tommy, slán Orlaith. Is grá liom sibh béirt le mo chroí iomlán. Feicfidh mé sibh gan mhoill, yeah?"

"Slán Fianna, is grá liom thú. Feicfidh mé thú níos moille," Orlaith says.

"Slán Fianna, chonaic mé thú níos moille. Is grá liom thú," Tommy says and I laugh a little.

"Bye," I say and I hang up.

I hear a knock at the door and wipe my tears quickly, erasing any evidence of my crying. I tell them to come in and it's Bucky. We haven't really spoken much, between not knowing each other and wanting to stay close to the ones we're leaving we haven't had the time to bond, I guess.

"Hey," he says timidly, staying in the doorway.

"Hey," I reply, just as timid.

"The others are discussing their plans, I think everyone's moving out tomorrow," he informs me.

"Okay, thanks for letting me know," I say, putting my phone in my hoodie pocket before standing and making my way to leave the room.

[messier-47]

y'all think i'm done with this idea I AM NOT!!!

Cause the potential for hilarity is endless

So we have Madara cuddling ontop of Tobirama cause he's been suffering from both the heat an an actual heatstroke and Tobirama just happens to be person sized teddy bear that's been left in the fridge. After Madara registers that he's snuggling on top of Hashirama's prissy little brother holy shit what was he thinking he just...doubles down and relaxes completely. Fuck it, who cares, if Tobirama tries to kill him he'll just have to wrestle the other down cause it's too freakin' hot!

And Tobirama is just, "I regret leaving my house this morning" cause while he and the Uchiha Clan aren't sworn enemies (hadn't killed Izuna in this universe) he's not exactly friends with the Clan Head. But at least he knows why Madara tackled him, probably an animal instinct like how someone dying of thirst is immediately drawn to water. (Tobirama being the water and Madara being so very thirsty ;)))

Instead of raising all sorts of hell, Tobirama just grabs a bunch of paperwork and decides to settle in for however how long it'll take for the burly Uchiha to get it together.

At some point Madara feels okay enough to pull away, realizes that Tobirama has been signing paperwork on his back and just to be a spiteful little bitch settles the fuck right back down, he's not leaving until the stupid pale bastard complains about it. And Tobirama realizes soon that the Uchiha is just waiting for him to complain and he's pulling out his own stubbornness refusing to utter a single word about their situation.

"Uchiha."

"Hn?"

"Can I forge your signature on the Trade agreement with the Haruno merchant clan?"

"Hn."

"Sweet, I'll take that to mean I can forge your name whenever I want."

"Hn."

And of course there's a train of people coming in and out, becoming extremely confused and questioning whether these two shinobi who are notorious for their epic verbal showdowns are actively trying to either kill each other or seduce one another. Tobirama just scolds them for loitering and hand him the damn paperwork it's not gonna be done faster with them just standing there.

Hashirama walks in and immediately takes it the wrong way but both Madara and Tobirama act like this is nothing out of the ordinary and, "What's the problem Anija? Stop gibbering and say what you've come here to say. How did the Nara take the suggestion of public parks in community areas?" "SORGHJNJLAUHOHGDNF!!!" "Riveting. Now if you could speak the same language that'd be nice." "AORGHOFVJSKUF!" "Hn!"

Of course Izuna also has to drop by when he here something is going on in the Hokage tower.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" "Excellent, Uchiha-the-lesser has arrived. Can you give these to my secretary? For some reason she's avoiding the office." "Perhaps it's because you're TRYING TO SEDUCE MY BROTHER!!!" "Nonsense, seducing your brother would be an inefficient way of completing the Shinobi Academy project." "Nii-san! Get away from him!" "Hn."

To make it even more hilarious, they last the entire day on the floor pretty much snuggling up together like that with these two assholes refusing to acknowledge that anything is wrong. Then comes the time for clock-out and pretty much at the bell they both disengage and go home as if nothing happened.

I have an idea

[i-found-your-shoe]

Where My Demons Hide - Part 3

[Sam, Dean, Reader]

In the month and a half since you had joined the boys, Dean's attitude towards you had changed. You weren't lying when you said you lived on whiskey and cheeseburgers, which impressed him. You shot better than he thought you would, though you could use better technique. And you didn't complain about the music he played in the car, singing along at times, and even agreeing that Bon Jovi rocks - on occasion.

He taught you defensive maneuvers and better shooting techniques, Sam taught you lore and how they do research, and in return, you taught them Krav Maga.

And currently, you were teaching them to not underestimate you at the pool table. You were bent over the table, lining up your shot and pretending to not see Sam staring at your ass. You bit your lip, hit the cue ball, and sank your shot in one try. Sam cheered. For once, he bet against his brother, much to Dean's chagrin. You winked at Dean, who sat his beer down a little too hard, and lined up his shot. You leaned back against the wall and lit a cigarette. This was the only room you were allowed to smoke in and you took advantage of it.

You took a sip of your beer as Dean took his shot and remembered your news. “Oh! Guess what?”

“Fuck!” Dean exclaimed as he missed. “What?”

“After this last batch of paperwork clears, guess who will be a fabulous millionaire?”

Sam choked on his drink. “Wha-? MILLIONAIRE?”

“Multi.” you laughed. “And it'll stay that way as long as the stock market stays up.”

“You play the stocks?” Dean asked, setting his pool stick down.

“My father didn't raise a fool. He taught me a few things. My current account is sitting at over a million and a half at the moment. Some from a trust fund, some from stocks.. Most hard earned, though.” Both men looked at you, bewildered. “What? You thought the two of you were paying for the nicer hotel rooms?”

“How - uh, how much exactly are you getting?” Sam asked, genuinely curious.

“Five or six from my parents accounts. Four from insurance. As long as I'm around, no more shitty motels.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “Maybe we should keep her.”

“You're just spoiled by the continental breakfasts.” you laughed.

“Unlimited bacon, (y/n). Unlimited freakin’ bacon.” he shrugged.

“Nothing is final yet. But it should go smoothly. And then, you boys don't have to commit credit card fraud anymore. Just think of me as your Sugar Momma.” You bent over the pool table again, tongue poking out of the side of your mouth, and lined up your next shot. “Sam, you got winner?”

“Huh?” he replied; your question snapping him out of his trance.

You laughed again. “I've almost won. Am I kicking your arse next? Or are we done?”

Sam watched as you took your shot, sinking again on the first try, and victoriously picked your cigarette up from the ashtray. He knew you thought it was a horrible habit, but he was mesmerized by the way you tucked your bottom lip in to lick it before you raised your fingers to your lips. And the tiny, perfect little O shape you made when you exhaled. And the way you glanced at him, subconsciously licking your lip again.

“You won't kick my ass.” Sam smirked.

“We'll see about that.” you replied, raising an eyebrow at his cockiness.

After thoroughly wiping the floor with both Winchesters, you took your winnings and headed back to your room and settled into bed.

A few minutes later, Sam pointed his head in the door. “Hey, you, uh, planning on keeping your ass in bed tonight? Or creeping into my room again?”

Your eyes widened and you played dumb. “I…don't know what you're talking about.”

Sam opened the door all the way and threw your pillow at your face. “This was in my floor, liar.”

You sighed. “Sorry… I, uh… Couldn't sleep. So, when I can't… I've been camping on your floor. Just…once or twice a week, maybe.”

“Nightmares, still?”

You nodded and he walked in, sitting in your desk chair. “I didn't want to say anything. I, um, I've been working so hard to prove that I can do this. I didn't want Dean, or you, to see it as weakness or something…”

“(y/n), believe me. Dean and I? We're…professionals at the nightmare thing. Sometimes it comes with the territory. Nightmares are a no judgment zone. You've been doing great. You even took down that vampire like a pro.”

You chuckled. “One vampire out of, like, fifteen.”

“You saved me, didn't you?”

“Purely selfish reasoning, of course. If you died, Dean would have to teach me how to research.” You faked a grimace.

It was Sam's turn to laugh. “That would be pretty horrible. He can barely Google.”

“But he does know how to find beautiful, busty Asians.” You groaned, remembering when you accidentally came across his porn stash while researching the vamp nest.

“Get some sleep, (y/n). And if you find yourself having any more nightmares, my bed is open. You know.. So you aren't sleeping on the floor.” Sam cleared his throat as his cheeks turned pink.

“Are you asking me to sleep with you? Most men offer me dinner first.” You grinned, causing him to blush harder.

“I-”

“I'm kidding. Drinks will do.” you winked. “Goodnight, Sam.”

“Goodnight, (y/n).”

The next morning, you trudged into the kitchen to see Sam making breakfast and Dean struggling with the new coffee maker you had bought.

You let out a yawn as Dean grinned. “Mornin’, Stitch.”

“Oi, fuck off.” You groaned. He hadn't mentioned what happened the day before and you were hoping he had forgotten, but obviously he hadn't.

“Am I missing something?” Sam asked, raising an eyebrow.

“(Y/n) has a tattoo.” Dean grinned wider.

“Yeah. I know. We've seen them.” He rolled his eyes.

“Oh ho, not this one.” Dean chuckled, finally getting his cup of coffee to begin brewing.

“Dean….walked in on me changing while you were out yesterday.” You grimaced.

“It's on her butt.”

“On your b-” Sam began to ask.

“YES, ON MY BUTT. STRAIGHT ON THE ARSECHEEK.” You groaned again. “I got it when I was 16 with my best friend. It's Stitch and it says Ohana.”

“On your ass cheek.” Sam stifled a laugh.

“The left one.” Dean chimed in.

“Fuck you guys. I'm going back to bed.”

“Oh, come on, (y/n). Don't be a spoilsport. I'm just messing with you.” Dean stuck out his bottom lip.

Sam chuckled as he made himself a cup of coffee. “So when do I get to see it?” he asked, cheekily.

“That's why I don't tell people about it. Everyone always asks me to see it.” you replied, taking the fresh cup of coffee out of his hands and taking a sip.

“Hey!”

“That's what you get, Sammy.” you winked.

Dean curled his lip. “Get a room, you two.”

You stuck out your tongue and began adding sugar to the coffee. “So, now that we've addressed my arse, when are you going to let me kick some more monster butt?”

“Don't get cocky. You've killed one vampire.” Dean stated. “And you shouldn't have even been there for that one.”

“But I was there. And I was awesome.” You shrugged.

“Cocky gets you killed, (y/n).” Dean raised an eyebrow.

“And yet, here you stand. The cockiest of us all.” You challenged.

“Yeah, and I've been to Hell and back more times than you can count. How many times do you think I've died, Sammy?”

“Are we counting the Tuesday? Because if we count the Tuesday…. Roughly, 120.”

You raised your eyebrows and your eyes widened in shock. “120? As in twenty more than a hundred?”

“To be fair, The Tuesday was a time loop. But I died a lot. Sammy still can't watch Groundhog Day. Or listen to Heat of the Moment.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, it was kinda traumatic.”

“Fine. Cocky gets you killed. I get it.” you crossed your arms over your chest. “I'll wait then. Ignoring the fact that I'm more of a hands-on learner and everything. I'll just read books and look at websites and do nothing completely productive.”

“(y/n)....” Sam began.

“Look, Stitch..” Dean started at the same time.

“Oh, is that my nickname now?”

“Of course. Look, I'd rather you be safe than dead. This is still a trial run. If you die, you will bet know if you'd have made it or not.”

“Research is just as important as the hunt. You can't hunt if you don't know how to kill what you're hunting.”

“I said I get it.”

“You're no good to us dead, (y/n).” Sam gave you a small smile.

“I know.” you returned a very unenthusiastic smile.

[frogsandfries]

There's no getting over the sounds of TV at seven in the morning

I'm a lighter sleeper, so noises, light changes, movement, wake me up. My friend's mother's tablet, how she watches cable TV, is quite a loud noise at seven in the morning. Honestly, I've blocked off the windows, so the cold air doesn't spill under the curtains anymore. There's no reason to sleep near the door, which is the only other space that would reasonably accommodate my bed. Since I'm up so freakin early, I might as well. I'll probably be up late.

I meant to go grocery shopping, and my friend works late, so I'm going grocery shopping after work, which will mean taking the last bus to where she works, since the last bus won't get me home. But at least I'll have something I really want to eat. Some time, maybe I'll leave some veggies for my friend's mom.

Maybe I'll see if I can find some veggetti, and I'll either buy some butter or use what I have left.

I have to go through this stupid basket first thing tomorrow, otherwise I probably won't. Then I can spend the remaining time cutting out my prints. I think I'll have a decent number of prints. I'm taking my tablet, tucked into my sketchbook. Maybe I should start packing, but it doesn't really feel necessary, since my dad is taking me. But I could organize the clothes that I don't use for work. My friend does laundry most weeks, so honestly, five shirts and ten of all my undergarments, plus both of my jeans, would do it. I could probably get over to the dollar store for some storage options.

I think I'm actually going to purchase that small drawer storage unit. At least one for now; it'll be good for all my little bits and ends, finished work, and it won't be susceptible to being blocked by storing stuff on top of it. For the bigger stuff, I can get to using these little baskets that I have, or maybe for the clothes that don't fit in the shoe boxes I have. If I don't try to use the lids of the shoeboxes, I can fit quite a bit of clothing into each box, folded carefully. I should get a bag, or two, for all my pens and markers and such, or maybe I should put my writing tools into my desk drawers.

I should go through that crate, and the bucket. If I take care of a little at a time, I'll have a lot more success. I think my friend got rid of my perler beads, which I asked her not to do. I wanted to keep the container they were stored in. Those fishing lure boxes are expensive.

I guess I'm going to move my mattress before I leave, which will free up my closet space.

Just as long as things are ready to be taken out of the house. I'm so grateful that this time, I don't have to choose what I can carry. I want to donate my luggage to CPS, but I feel like I should hold on to it until I know without question that I can be rid of it. Until I know for certain that I'm settled, or until I have my van. It'd be really great if I could bundle all of my little baskets full of their contents into this giant tote and call it done. That's my goal: Put the tote in my dad's vehicle, and pack it with my little baskets and that's how I move, with that and another two or three large totes.