#it'd be stupid to deny that. so i was like welp! here i go! and i adapted

[simptasia]

i love how teenaged me went from being utterly repulsed by body hair to being attracted to zachary quinto. that’s like going from being terrified of heights to jumping out of an airplane in like, one weekend

[somewhereinthepines]

So, hypothetically, if Chris and Ryan were to do something in Chris's car like the fantasy he briefly admitted to having in ASB, how would it play out? I was also contemplating why it appeals to him, as he'd mentioned thinking about it a few times after having a couple of beers. I suppose it could potentially be related to his animalistic tendencies; during that fic, at the time he was thinking about it, he was experiencing them rather strongly. And his car is a personal thing of his, covered in his scent, I guess in a cramped space like that with the combination of their scents and other fluids it could potentially be appealing in that kind of state? It's such a little thing, a little detail, but as always, it has me asking, "Why is this exactly? 🧐" So I thought I'd ask, we haven't had anything too spicy for them, so I thought it'd be fun to ask. Paticualry since from what I could gather from Chris's admittance of the fantasy and what followed, it seemed like he'd imagined it going further in his mind than he would have allowed in reality in ASB.

hehe. welp. let’s see. so hypothetically…. 

(under the cut bc it’s hella long, haha) 

it’s not hard to imagine how they ‘came to be’ together inside the car in late afternoon. prob driving from the town, as chris typically drags ryan along, while he does some errands. he always needs that ‘extra’ help, y’know, haha. but ah. he might pull the car to the side of the road to take a smoke, bc he won’t smoke into ryan’s face so bluntly. and ryan would be left alone, sort of fidgeting and thinking that it’s his chance. they’re away from everyone, and surely, if he will try to start smth there, chris won’t have a chance to ‘run’ away from that conversation/action, like he usually does on camp grounds. meanwhile, chris who is already pent-up (which is why he smokes a lot lately), would try to pull himself together, bc when they’re inside the car, ryan’s smell is pretty much all that he can focus on. it’s distracting. and it teasing him, even if he knows that it’s ‘weird’ to think this way. and then, he turns and ryan just stares at him, and he prob stared at him for a while now. chris’s guts would tighten up on itself, bc this is smth that he knows ryan does, when he gets ‘bold’ with him. since if we take ASB fanon, ryan was the one, who started doing a lot of suggestive things and he always had a specific look inside his eyes, when he did it. so chris knows, that smth is about to go down, but he can’t like, just not get back into the car, it would look stupid lol. he’s an adult man, he can’t be ‘scared’ of this. but ryan is the one, who takes the lead here as per usual. after all, he won’t even have to do a lot. just crawl into chris’s seat, which would surprise our good ole mister h as he still stands outside, sort of dumbfound. esp when ryan opens the door, and swings his legs over the edge, without getting out of the car or jumping off the seat. he just sits there, staring up at him, and chris stares back, still unsure what this is. he can read ryan most of the times, but not his utterly blank expression of his, that can be hiding pretty much anything. they might have a little convo. like ryan maybe ask chris to let him smoke too or smth along those lines, that he knows chris would deny him. but it’s not the point. he just needs to trigger a reaction, like sit there and then slightly spread his legs, just a bit. casually almost. but chris’s gaze dips down & ryan can see that he gets nervous. how he clears his throat, croaks and tells ryan, that they need to go back to the camp before dark, so he has to crawl back into his own seat. the usual execuses. but ryan doesn’t move. he wants to be a brat, apperently. so chris would get inpatient, bc well, at this rate he will get hard just from thinking about what he might have done. so he leans to ryan’s level, to scold him, and be like ‘enough with these games, bud’ and attempt to shoo him back, but ryan would steal a quick, fearful kiss. and they both would still, bc this is a moment that can change everything. ryan had rubbed against him a few times, made remarks, but kiss is basically an open invitation. almost a what else do you need to understand? and yeah, what else does he needs? chris tries so hard to be a ‘good’ man, but he’s not a saint or like THIS strong willed. pretty sure, that after this chris would snap, haha. enough games, indeed. and just manhandles ryan into the back seat lol. and considering, that in ASB he at least had some time to ‘steel’ himself, bc they started making out in the storage. here, he would just kind of...well, lose it a bit. 

as for the appeal, it mostly lies in how the men love their cars. esp the old school dudes, like chris. and then, it also connected to how sex in the backseat considered as ‘indecent’ and ‘cheap’ almost. like banging in the backseat of the car, after prom and making accidental child sort of thing. at least, this is how it will be for chris, considering where he grew up. and what sort of things he was told. so for him, it almost like debasing his most precious, ‘good’ boy in such a way and actually getting off on it. bc while it would be vulgare, it also would be special. since yeah, it’s his car, and it's a narrow space, so more ways to tangle up together and mostly just easier to keep ryan pinned, while he has his way with him. so the fact that his wolf nature indeed plays here as well, is also true. not to meantion, that it’s basically a doggy style, which is also primitive and raw. happening in such a place, where surely no one else would have taken ryan to or at. like would it have been okay to just do it? inside chris’s mind, surely not. but he can just sorta play with the idea, right? that’s pretty harmless. 

and this to a degree was always chris’s problem. i think, that mister h always struggled between imagining him & ryan doing it ‘right’ the first time, like with more care toward ryan’s view of it. making sure, that he was on board each step, going nice and slowly. yet, at the same time, part of chris can’t help, but imagine doing it more dirty and lewd. his selfish wants always clash with his care, and desire to do smth ‘correctly’. he’s hella horny, but wanna be a decent man at the same time. like yeah, sorry, my dude. this isn’t how it works, haha. and tbh, ryan would have been perfectly okay with chris being a bit more agressive in this sense. he didn’t complain in ASB, not even when chris was a bit rough with him. so nothing leads to believe, that he would have been against chris gently manhandling him the first time around either. i mean, in GP, it’s pretty clear what sort of half-formed fantasies ryan has about them doing smth sexual, and neither of those are esp gentle. they have deep feelings for one another, a bond. but they’re also attracted to one another physically too. like chris often says, that ryan handsome, bc this how he thinks, all the time basically. so ryan is an eye candy, on top of everything else. meanwhile, ryan attracted to the fact, that chris isn’t some idk clean-shaved, nearly-no-any-body-hair co-counselor of his. he loves that chris is a grown ass man, which is still very different compared to how he sees/views his own male peers. the sentimental part of them might want it to be all comfy and sweet, but the part, that is sick of sexual tension wants to just get the ball rolling. and they clearly had enough fantasies to fill this blank, haha. from both ends. love is there, but they also find one another hot, and make it a bit kinky, basically, haha. 

in ASB everything indeed stayed somewhat ‘safe’, pun intended. so partly, whatever chris or ryan wanted to do was still ‘softish’ in nature. chris in ASB wouldn't allow himself to take ryan’s virginity in such a ‘crude’ way, even if it was ‘asked’ of him. but chris in GP, mmmm, now that's russian roulette. he had already crossed a few lines, and about to cross even more. same with ryan. if this scenario would have happened anywhere, it surely would have taken place more in frames of GP or perhaps, somewhere between 4 & 5 chapter of ASB, when things weren’t going all that great for chris.

[dreamsmp-au-ideas]

Ooo, I kinda like the idea that no one sees Tubbo's akumatization coming, even Tubbo? Like, if Ladybug and Chat have filled them in that folks who are experiencing negative emotions are likely candidates for akumatization, then when the Miraculous get taken back by Gabriel, they're all on the lookout for folks who are upset so they can try to get a jump on preventing or stopping akumatizations. Therapuffy and Eret are basically working overtime to encourage open communication and emotional literacy among everyone, lol. And Tubbo's so good at appearing functional, at pushing down his issues, at focusing on the next task to ignore all the past failures, it kind of goes assumed that he's doing alright.

So one day, it's been like a couple weeks since the Miraculous got stolen back. Everyone's been on high alert trying to keep akumas under control, sometimes even responding before Ladybug and Chat do. Because they're just kids, aren't they? They should have a normal teenage experience as much as they can; the Gremlins can handle it as long as they bring the akuma to Marinette to purify later. Point being, the Gremlins have been busy.

And then Tubbo just has one bad day. He woke up on the wrong side of the bed, restless and exhausted from nightmares he didn't bother to tell anyone about, because if he can get back to sleep eventually, clearly they weren't that bad. Plus he's stressed about finding the Miraculous again; it wasn't so hard to steal them in the first place, so why are they so hard to track down now? He'd bonded a little bit with Nooroo and Duusuu, he doesn't want to think about them back in Gabriel's clutches. So he's working himself to the bone trying to figure out where Gabriel might be.

And he and Ranboo are out patrolling for akumas or any other sign of Hawkmoth, and at just the wrong time, Tubbo overhears some kids talking about current events.

"He's such an idiot! Honestly, he's a horrible president. That whole country would be better off without him."

And Tubbo... he knows they're not talking about him. Obviously they're not. No one here even knows about L'manberg, and Tubbo hasn't been president for a long time. All the same, it brings up memories of Dream, smugly telling Tubbo that he'd been playing him for weeks, for months, calling him the worst president ever, calling him stupid. And no one had even denied it, least of all Tubbo. He can't think of one decision he'd made as president that he doesn't want to take back.

But it was ages ago. And Tubbo's over it, he definitely is, he doesn't care. So he ignores his stewing thoughts and keeps walking with Ranboo, just a bit quieter.

And a few minutes later, they see an akuma flying towards them, and they both get ready to follow it and warn whoever it's going for. But it doesn't turn away, it just keeps flying towards them. And they exchange an uneasy look.

"Tubbo?" Ranboo asks, a little nervous when he takes a step away and the akuma doesn't veer from its course. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine," Tubbo says immediately, like he always does, like it's routine. "I'm fine. It's not me, I'm totally fine."

But the akuma clearly thinks otherwise. And as Ranboo watches in growing apprehension, the akuma dodges Tubbo's attempts to swat it away and lands neatly on the necklace he wears close to his chest, a locket with a group photo of all the gremlins on one side and a portrait of Michael on the other. Black clouds cover the locket, and a familiar purple butterfly appears over Tubbo's eyes as Ranboo shouts in alarm.

And Tubbo had wondered in the past what it was like to be akumatized, how Hawkmoth had apparently been persuasive enough to convince half of Paris to attack their heroes. But now, he understands: it isn't Hawkmoth's offer that convinces people. It's the sudden rush of emotions that floods his veins, every inch of him abruptly crying out in hurt and betrayal and outrage. It's the feeling of a pot boiling over, scalding water splashing out and burning everything in range. It's the furious tremble in his fingers as he's consumed by the sole thought that he didn't deserve what happened to him, that he's been wronged so deeply it hurts, that the only way to make it stop is to make everyone else understand just how he feels. The blood roaring in Tubbo's ears is almost enough to drown out Ranboo, who's shouting something and tugging at Tubbo's arm, but Hawkmoth's voice comes through crystal clear.

"Ah, little Tyrant," says Gabriel Agreste, pleased as the cat who caught the canary, and doesn't that just make Tubbo's blood boil even more. "I was hoping it'd be one of you eventually."

"Get out of my head," Tubbo says, teeth clenched so tightly his jaw aches.

"Oh, of course, Tyrant," Gabriel placates. "Of course. But first... First, I am going to give you the power to ensure you're never attacked again. I will make sure you are heard. I will give you an outlet for all that fury simmering inside of you. And in return, you are going to bring me the other Miraculous."

And logically. Logically, Tubbo knows it's a bad deal. Logically, he knows Marinette and Adrien are his friends, and he'd never try to take their Miraculous. Logically, he should say no, should get Marinette to the akuma and cleanse it and move on and ignore it.

But his emotions are running higher and hotter than he thought possible, and all he can see is Hawkmoth, offering him a way to get rid of them, to feel better, to make everyone finally get it.

And it's not like it'd be hard to grab a couple of Miraculous.

"Alright," says Tyrant, eyes dark. "You've got a deal."

There's a crash of thunder, a billowing outpour of smoke from the corrupted locket, and then Tubbo vanishes, leaving Ranboo alone in the streets of Paris.

"Uh," says Ranboo into his phone, voice high-pitched with panic. "Guys, we have a problem."

;-;

Welp. This hurts. Thanks anon. Oh boy. This hurts a lot. Oh wow.

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

Okay so bc of how Meapless in Seattle would play out in the Relocation AU, Doof would have no reason to drink the liquefied cutonium. Cause he drinks it while trying to deny that he was there on a coffee date with Peter. Everyone is just playing keep-away with the container. (That said, it'd be funny if he DID drink it for some reason bc of the bit where the gang picks up the cutified Doof. They'd probably be like ._. "... That you, Dr. D?")

in general, the entire episode would play out way differently because the a- and b-plot gangs would inevitably end up joining forces. perry would definitely end up knocking mitch and balloony's robot suits around if they dared threaten phineas and ferb. (also i want to know what candace would think of balloony. i'm sure she'd have Words on that whole situation and it'd be super fucking funny to see.)

I should really start tagging posts about this au now... welp, live and learn lmao

Sooooo I’m going to stay up until 3 am waiting for the new Taylor Swift thing to drop on Disney+ so I can watch it with the rest of the fandom on twt, which means I have more than enough time to go off on tangents and I apologize in advance

I definitely think if/when I write this, I definitely want Heinz to drink the cutonium just for shits and giggles, but it didn’t occur to me until you said this that there wouldn’t really be a reason for him to do it, so, naturally, I rewatched the entire episode just to figure out that one scene and because I love that episode and I have a general idea of how it might go down:

It’s kinda the opposite of the actual episode, where it’s Peter and Perry are at the coffee shop and Heinz is outside (idk what he’s doing there tho bc he’s not visiting Peter uhhhhh help), and Heinz does something loud and stupid (probably falls over or something idk he’s clumsy he would totally do it) and everyone in the coffee shop looks out the window to see what happened, and Heinz looks through the window to see if anyone noticed (and they did). Obviously, Heinz sees Perry (and Peter but mostly Perry) and he’s like :))))))) and my original plan had been that Perry runs out to see him and gives him a hug or something cute like that, but my new plan is that Perry actually runs away because he’s afraid that if OWCA finds out that Heinz saw him, he’ll be relocated again and he was just starting to get used to Seattle.

Heinz runs around the building and tries to catch up to him, and he after Too Much Yelling, he finally gets Perry to stop around the same spot they were in the episode (with Peter slowly catching up). Idk what he’s gonna yell but it’s gonna be something really pure and heartwarming ig idk words are hard, but Perry’s gonna freeze and Heinz is gonna run towards him while paying absolutely no attention who his feet whatsoever and whoops he falls in one of the kids’ ditches.

*casual switch to present tense bc there’s literally no reason to write this in future tense*

Perry turns around and looks down at him and he can’t help but smile because he knows he shouldn’t be here but this man is just so freakin adorable and he absolutely remembers why he loved their nemesisship (not that he’d ever forgotten, of course, but it’s hitting him harder now that he sees him). Heinz’s just like “You gonna give me a hand?” (in a lighthearted way obviously) and Perry is absolutely not going to give him a hand because Heinz would end up pulling him in instead, but it doesn’t matter anyways because Heinz makes a really big gesture when he asks and he ends up knocking the cutonium loose. Perry hops down with him to check it out (and Heinz is lowkey offended that he’s more interested in this cup than his ex-nemesis) and then Mitch shows up and he’s like “Hey gimme the cup” and Heinz is like “nu-uh my cup” and Mitch is like “GIMME DA CUP” and Heinz is like “fine, take the cup!” and then downs the cutonium right in front of him out of pure spite and that’s why he ends up drinking the cutonium (and subsequently gets kidnapped by Mitch (after being tossed around like a game of hot potato))

Ngl I don’t really know how the rest of the fic is gonna go at all but you’re absolutely right that things are different so I’m gonna do some spitballing here,

For one, I feel like the kids would stop heading to the Flynn-Fletchers as much because it was just so sad, but for the sake of this fic, we’re gonna say that everyone was at the Flynn-Fletchers when this started so now Buford and Baljeet are there with them. They end up getting hold of Heinz the same way they do in the show, and Phineas absolutely does say “... that you, Dr. D?” (purely because I love when the kids call him “Dr. D” it makes my heart happy). And Heinz is like, “Perry the platypus is here!” and the kids are like 0_0 and even Phineas isn’t quite sure wtf is happening, but The Man Of Action Ferb pushes him out of the way and follows Heinz’s instructions (all while ignoring Meap talking about the cutonium bc this is far more important) and they find Peter and Perry still over by the ditch and someone yells down to them (or, more specifically, to Perry) and Perry looks up and sees them and starts tearing up, and they let him and Peter in and Perry just jumps up into Phineas’s arms (he can’t exactly jump up into Ferb’s because he’s driving) and it’s a very heartwarming moment and Ferb hands Buford his handkerchief and everything and then someone ruins the moment. Idk if it should be Meap being like “Someone wanna fill me in on wtf just happened?” or Heinz being like “Wtf Perry you ran away from me but not them?” but it sure do ruin the moment, that’s for sure

Uhhhh idk that’s all i got on that. I guess Mitch gets Heinz back and then the kids team up with Perry (and Peter this time) and go get him and stuff happens? And there’s a running “gag” ig where Buford is the only one that thinks it’s weird that Heinz drank the cutonium out of spite and he keeps bringing it up and everyone else is like yeah that sure did happen whats your point

Oh my god tho I need the kids to see Ballooney. Literally everyone else would be like “oh no it’s an evil balloon ex-best-friend we should be scared” and Candace is like WHAT THE  F U C K  IS THIS THING and she is the only one to question why the fuck there’s a sentient balloon man there fdhfsjadfhsjkad