#it’s good we call out sexism but IM TERRIFIED

[mrcowboysmovieroom]

Staying Alive (1983)

Directed by: Sylvester Stallone Genre: Romance, drama (horror.. im kidding but really)

CW: SA is mentioned briefly as it pertains to this movie and Saturday Night Fever.

The only thing this movie improves upon it's predecessor, is that it's a much shorter runtime.

Staying Alive attracted me because it looked bad and I was obsessed with how incongruous it feels for Sylvester Stallone to have directed it. The screenshots I was seeing of Travolta scantily clad in torn clothing while arms reach for him were too appealing for me to simply ignore them. In fact, it low-key reminded me of the poster for Barbarella which is a movie I do love the appearance of.

Of course, I couldn't simply watch the sequel to a movie I hadn't seen before, so I first watched Saturday Night Fever from 1977. Saturday Night Fever, faultless it is not, was still a pretty swell watching experience. But it definitely impacted how I was to see the sequel. And how could it not?

When the emotional through-line of the film is class struggles, racism, and especially sexism, then it's hard not to notice how a sequel carries on with those themes.

Staying Alive's solution is largely to ignore these things. Or ignore them in part. There is still some pointing and gesturing at the class disparity between Tony (Travolta) and those around him, especially Laura (Finola Hughes). Sexism is also very much alive and well but, unlike SNF, there isn't really a point to these themes and conflicts being there or a lesson we are meant to learn.

SNF managed to make the character of Tony still a tad likeable despite it all. In Staying Alive I feel none of this goodwill. SNF ended with a promise of change and self awareness. Staying Alive begins with a Tony as problematic as he started. There is something macabre about it to be honest. Between those six years of lost time, Tony spurned Stephanie for good and has now been meandering around Manhattan terrorizing women, jaunting about like a gangly, unsteady gazelle. At times he is borderline terrifying, and you'd expect his character to feel right at home as the dangerous stalker in some horror flick.

Somehow he still has a girlfriend named Jackie (Cynthia Rhodes), whom he decides to cheat on very immediately into this movie. And despite all logic, she still gives him a chance, not only to be her friend but picks up dating him again. And even in the end he cant help himself. He has to kiss Laura without her consent for what? To prove he can? Both women end the movie interested in him, though he decides to commit to Jackie.

On to Laura, she is a pseudo antagonist. She's meant to be annoying and bitchy, but can you really fault her? She has to deal with Tony this whole movie and that is so much to ask of anyone. Her character is so inappropriately handled. Tony expects much from her and ignores all her very DIRECT declarations that she is not at all interested in him in a long term sense at this point. He makes it her fault, and in turn, the movie never sees him serve time for his poor behavior towards her. At times she or someone else will call him out on it, but you never see his character learn from this behavior. After he forces a kiss on Laura, she apologizes to him and he doesn't even bother to say it back himself, which is the LEAST of what he should be doing.

Tony IS the bad guy. He's annoying and rude to her, grabs her and touches her without permission, and is just all around unapologetic for any of it. It feels like he only really stops bothering with her because Jackie's still throwing herself at him, and it gives him a sense of power to see Laura wanting him.

AND THAT'S NOT TO MENTION THE DANCING. SNF almost manages to endear itself to me PURELY for the dancing. Travolta's little disco floor scene (you know the one) is the best part of the movie. In this movie, the dancing is all so meeehhhhh. We spend all this time building up the final Broadway show, and the resulting product was so underwhelming.

If this movie had been about male entitlement and ego, it would have been so perfect, but it's not about that even though it so perfectly depicted it. Feeling like a 2/10 on this one.

[slowjamastan]

My favorite color is green. I play violin, though not very well. I love dogs, and volunteer at an animal shelter. I'm into sci fi and my favorite author is Ursula K. LeGuin.  I also like Batman comics.

And I also happen to be a FTM transgender man.  What you folks would call a TIF.

Ever since I was 10, before i even knew why, I hated my body. For years of my life, I had daydreams of taking a kitchen knife to my chest and cutting off the breasts. I tried to kill myself twice.

That changed 3 years ago.  I realized I was trans and bought myself a binder.

When it's on, I feel relief. I dont think of the kitchen knife. I'm not too depressed to get out of bed.

But after 8 hours, I have to take it off.

I plan on getting top surgery so this relief can stay.

I should note- this isn't about sexism or anything of the sort. Both my parents were outspoken feminists, and I've been fortunate enough to always live in progressive areas.

This is about people. And if transitioning can keep people like me from killing themselves? I'm all for it.

you seem to be engaging in good faith, so im gonna take you serious and not just be a dick. but man, this is my blog where i have fun and post memes. i hate doing this and am annoyed u sent this at all. theres so many radfem blogs that love discourse and im sooo lukewarm, im radfem-adjacent at best. im a fandom blogger at heart bro. who tf are you lol

first of all i do not care about your life story. youre like "please please see me as a person, we kweer transes are real people, i hope you can understand that even though youre a horrible evil t*rf. im reaching out to u because i believe theres still good in ur heart uwu" you people r annoyinggg

its not like i lack empathy, i was dysphoric and suicidal for a whole decade of my life and mostly surrounded myself with people who felt the same. what changed for me is realizing that my internal feelings about the gender-flavor of my soul didnt mean a goddamn thing and werent worth dwelling on. im a person and my body is female. at first i still wanted to change myself. i switched to id-ing as transmed, i was ready to acknowledge that i was born a girl at least but i knew so strongly that i wanted to pass as male and that it would make me more comfortable in my body. i was completely sure i was a man.

now ofc body dysmorphia is different for everyone but i really think no matter how fucked up your brain gets about how you naturally look, changing your body with medical intervention isnt the best answer. theres so many side effects and complications with each transition step. taking T in a female body can really fuck you up medically. keep yourself informed about what youre doing and think about if theres less expensive and drastic ways to go about fixing what makes you uncomfortable about the way you're perceived. and not to be insensitive, but if you have a history of s*xual assault, that can also be a very real reason for disconnect from your secondary sexual characteristics and ive met enough people that struggle with that sort of ptsd that manifests as wanting to trans their gender that i would rly think about where the desire to become male comes from. it could be a lot of things, and it can feel so real and valid dont get me wrong—but could fade away with time and/or therapy, leaving you reverse-dysphoric about your changed body

committing to being a transsexual while young is a tricky thing. i trust youve already thought it through but goddamn i promise you everything in life changes so much all the time. maybe this wont for you! but it might!!! it did for me and thats terrifying!!!!! identifying as trans is very much the current "its not a phase mom!" thing that teenagers do and you cant convince me otherwise btw. this isnt to say genuine trans people arent real and dont exist. and medically transitioned people definitely do, bc its exploded in popularity. but most of yall are a joke to anyone with a brain sorry lol most people are humoring you guys but would never admit it. this is a fate i wouldnt wish on anyone. being trans is cringe. or it will be soon, trust me

tldr i desisted from being trans myself after a full decade of self-id, various pronouns, etc. so i know where youre coming from. then when i started anxiety medication it helped boost me out of that spiral, which if u havent gotten medicated for other underlying issues i suggest you look into before jumping into hormones/surgery. ive heard that ocd can make u obsess about breasts and want them gone and stuff like that. body dysmorphia in any flavor is a bitch! im wishing you the best anon

also, read some self help literature instead of just fiction. i recommend 7 habits of highly effective people by steven covey. i read this for college and it fr made me a more functional person when i was still FtM and deeply depressed

edit: for the record im not gender conforming to femininity now. i see that misconception a lot, and forget that most ppl dont know what radfem types actually believe. i dress however i want, i just am not delusional about how i want people to address me. im just a lesbian 🫶

[1010ninetynine]

there's no single point. it's a mess. I'm not quite sorry.

I read Haikei, Seken-sama, the story of a trans man, and now I feel wrecked emotionally. I'm going to talk about it on tumblr dot com because no one else will hear this. well, it's not like the abyss of social media responds all the time. most of my moots like watching men kiss so idk if this even smacks for em. i mean there's one man doing the kissing? eventually? we don't even see it.

It's based on the author's experience living his life. The thought terrifies me to no end.

With this lead up you might think people die in this manga. No, no one does. No violence either. Definitely not as scarring as Banana fish, arguably.

Let me talk to you. Woman to algorithm.

Sorry if it's triggering.

The very first chapter features a kid with short hair putting on a school uniform, checking the skirt length, putting on chapstick, looking in the mirror and describing a creature in a skirt. They rush to school. Perfume is forced onto them. They try to wash it off. It's not coming off. She's accepted she's late, she walks at an even pace. She's accepted that despite everything she's a woman. And seeing the fate of an ugly girl, being treated as something to ignore and mock, she knows that she must be normal. It's better to be normal.

I say this without a shred of irony - Rino Tachibana feels like an alternate version of me. I mean, he ends up transitioning to be a male, and he seems like he gets laid more than I ever will. but that's boring talk.

the point is that I, like most people I imagine, hate and love the thought of being normal. of people not looking at me like im a weirdo. of being constrained by everyone's rules. they carve their way into my heart and thus engrave themselves into my soul. i want to be seen as a masculine figure but that's just not possible as a woman without being weird. i aim for the next best thing and it's not all that great. I've settled for being seen as a weirdo.

But Rino wanted to be a man. His name becomes Kanesho at the end of the manga.

She also loved Hanako, and knew Hanako wouldn't love her. She didn't conform to gender roles from an early age.

The truth is this is something that gays are known for, being unable to conform to society's expectations. there's people who argue that transition is a way to escape sexism/homophobia to an extent and I want to argue with those people that no, there are gnc gay men and women who just exist. I want to tell them that obviously no one would transition just for homophobia when I know so many who transitioned and ended up being gay because of it.

That's not consistent with the reality of the situation. If you're interested in women, and you prefer masculine activities, of course you'd want to be a guy. I know i've wanted my boobs gone as a teenager, hell, even now they bother me but I fucking ignore it. It's only natural, especially in a conservative country like Japan. I can't just like...fucking deny that. I can't deny that in countries like Iran, that might be your only option as a gay person if you want to, I dunno, fucking LIVE.

So yeah. It's definitely possible that a lot of trans people transition out of sexism/homophobia.

And that literally, in text, what is being described (not that Japan would kill her for liking girls if she didn't transition). Rino wants to be a guy to play soccer with the other boys, she doesn't like makeup and other feminine things, and doesn't like her feminine frame. Rino wants to be a guy because that's the only way she'd have a chance with Hanako.

Rino then tries to find someone for her crush so Hanako wouldn't be with anyone, only to get the wrong guy. She ends up dating him as a way to continue being with Hanako. She then breaks up with him because she knows she's not being honest + because she's masculine the guy's getting called gay for dating her and she feels like she's done something wrong.

I won't ascribe good or bad to Rino/Kanesho. I will say that what led to her living an honest life where he didn't have to suppress his desires was becoming more masculine (wearing a suit to graduation, and accepting that they kicked him out for it, transitioning medically and eventually getting a hysterectomy so he can call himself a Real Man).

I'm not saying this to blame Kanesho for his decisions, again I'm not sure what's right or not in these situations. I think they made him happy and in any case, he's not hurting a soul.

It just feels...it feels so fucking tragic is what it is. Rino would have never wanted to transition if her parents just let her be masculine. If she wasn't told that as a woman, liking other woman was wrong. And the truth is, this will fucking affect his life. He will not live as long, he's more at risk for osteoporosis, and several other health risks, all of this mentioned in manga btw. And he's accepted it because he's so happy living like this.

And how could he not? People don't judge him when he expresses interest in masculine activities, for dating girls, he's free to be himself. He just had to render himself infertile and at risk for numerous medical conditions, pay a hefty fee, and accept a reduced lifespan.

I don't misgender people who are real. I understand how fucking miserable it can be, and dysphoria's difficult to deal with. So, I use preferred pronouns and I generally try to avoid making people dysphoric. Rino/Kanesho Tachibana is not real, so I'm being honest about how I see her/him. I'm truly sorry if this bothers you - but I won't change that.

I too have looked in the mirror and hated what was there. I know what it's like to hate yourself so thoroughly transition seems like the only solution. And truth be told, I only didn't because I realized that if I continued T for long enough, a hysterectomy would be like...medically necessary. Vaginal atrophy would happen and I'd have to self lubricate. All of which, beyond my means personally.

what's my point? i don't have one really. haikei seiken sama was incredible.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

yknow while this hellsite continues on the whole religion discussion thing, i’d like to jump in on it with my experience particularly with leaving catholic school.

like aside from my angsty pop-punk/emo etc teen phase (which’ll obvs be weaved into story later on) that led me to have different views from the church and aside from the whole sexism thing that i endured over my year 10 formal/junior prom in 2010 and 2011 from staff there….. i found it within myself incredibly hard to leave there… mostly because i’d known literally 1/3 of my year group at catholic school since kindy/kindergarten or some other point in primary school.

this affected my choice to leave and it was quite tumultuous inwardly. knowing the safety and predictably of the people i was with for all those years was a comfort to me. i knew their parents due to parent mixer bbqs that we’d have after mother’s day and father’s day liturgies- although i hated the mother’s day ones mostly, due to personal reasons. but to leave that comfortable place for overly loyal, kinda sorta shy (although everyone who knew me at that school wouldn’t’ve described me as shy bc i was a very loud show off because of drama class 😅) and by year 10, very lonely, highly socially anxious and depressed, teen me was terrifying. it meant losing her friends and stability and she obvs hated that thought. it meant leaving the one one place she ever felt good at something, drama class.

obviously, after she did leave for public school, she visited the catholic school on a few separate occasions, to try and keep the connection “alive” or whatever the fuck she wrote in a fake deep status on her fb (that i now get in my fb memories every year lmao). but it all ended pretty badly, when everyone from that school stopped talking to her once high school finished. no one invited her out. or if people did try to invite her out, like a couple of people did, it always fell through…. and it made her feel like she was just a bad luck charm or whatever other low self esteem talk she was telling herself. there was quite a few moody statuses around that too lmao.

but yeah. leaving catholic school was a massive thing for me back then, because even though i hadn’t gone to church on sunday for literal Y E A R S at that point; i still had a strong pull to that school because i’d known SO MANY kids at that school from primary/elementary/grade etc school, regardless of their year group level. because if there’s one thing catholic school was good at, it was networking 😂. you knew everyone, and everyone knew you. it was safe, it was sound, so i didn’t want to leave.

but once you leave, you lose your friends and what almost felt like an extended family (although they obvs weren’t). but at the same time, i’d grown to hate the safety and almost insularity of the school, because as i mentioned earlier, you felt like you could predict how people would react or behave in class/events etc.

i felt the above distinctly, because as i’ve mentioned plenty on here, from years 7-10 i was a very emotionally demonstrative kid. in some classes (mostly religion and PE when i was bothered to participate) i’d end up in shouting matches with the teacher or other students…. or y’know just have a casual meltdown in the middle of class, which many people saw as “attention seeking” behaviour. i felt watched, i felt ready to snap, and to quote the ever present All Time Low i felt like the bridge lyrics from “therapy” (which was/is quite obviously somewhat partially about the price of fame and hollywood imo- but that went over teen me’s head at the time lmao):

“arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to, they’re better off without you (better off without you). arrogant boy, cause a scene like you’re supposed to, they’ll fall asleep without you; you’re lucky if your memory remains”

like yes. i’ll admit those bridge lyrics being applied to this time is rather overdramatic, in hindsight, but hey. that was teen me for ya lmao. and don’t even get me started on applying ATL’s song “sick little games” to this at the time as well 😂😅. anyway. from all the “lms and i’ll tell you what i like about you” trend statuses that people were doing back then on fb, i’d gained the tag of “cool/chill girl”, my crush rich boy, once called me “outrageous” because of how loud i was and how willing in years 7-9 to scream out stupid song lyrics like “i want to fuck dog in the ass” by blink 182, fight song by marilyn manson and then idek probably my humps by black eyed peas at the top my lungs through the very few halls that that school had 😂😅. i was being purposely and annoyingly offensive most of the time.

but eventually, once it came to things like one of the girls in my group wanting to run for vice school captain and the other girls in my group A L W A Y S being given leadership positions (LPs)….. while i always had to apparently “repent” my behaviour by being made (in theory from my teachers) to sit alone at lunch because of my “embarrassing” and “unseemly” behaviour at the so-called “training”/ “retreat” days we had for things like being peer support leaders for the new cohort of year 7s etc etc. i felt like everyone was just waiting for me to leave…. and that they couldn’t stand my “embarrassing” presence and that i’d ruin my friends chances of being selected as co-captain or whatever other bullshit LPs they wanted to run for. but still. i felt like i couldn’t leave. just. how do you leave a bunch of people that you’ve known for so long???

and even when my teachers were nice enough to give me a chance in a leadership position once; in that dastardly bullshit internet safety workshop thing that they should’ve literally just hired a professional workshop co. to do….. but to save money they used students in my year group instead. so, instead of being marked by my teachers on this program; i was marked by the catholic education office. they had a lady come in from the ceo to judge/mark us while presenting…… and this lady went off at teen me for “not being professional, responsible and respectful” or whatever the fuck the woman told 15/16yo me…. which teen me then fired back with “i don’t have to be fucking professional and responsible!!!! IM FUCKING 15!!!!”.. so from then on i was never given an LP or any other type of “peer support” role against my friends who were littered with offers for them. mind you, i did call a whole room of 14 year olds “a bunch of cunts” or the like and then stormed out thinking that i’d made a solid point, so the CEO woman had a good reason 😂😅….. again in hindsight.

of course there was also the bitterness of teen me being angry at the english dept for not giving her a spot in the top class of english in her half of the year. but as i’ve said previously on other posts, i’ve forgiven this because i did essentially fail one shakespeare in class assessment in year 8 or year 9 😂. but i strongly felt this during my time at catholic school bc my friends believed that i should’ve been in the top english class too lmao.

but aside from those troubles and foibles, i still found it incredibly hard to leave. to leave the perceived closeness of that group of girls, who would sometimes walk me down to the office and sit with me in “purple room” while i waited for the teacher that had to act as my therapist almost lmao. even though i always told my friends to leave me be and go back to class bc i felt bad about dragging them out of class for so long.

but yeah. with all the above behaviour, the song lyrics to me at the time made sense bc teen me just felt so pressured to fit into the whole “funny, cool, outrageous girl” bs box that people had put her in…. but at the same time she wanted to escape it bc she was just *flyleaf voice* SO SICK of being laughed at instead of laughed with (atl weightless reference here kids) just because… like she DESERVED to be taken seriously for fucks sake, and not a be a “monkey do funny dance” person… she obvs felt this the most in drama class. where in the shakespeare unit, she picked a medley of romeo and juliet and taming of the shrew monologues to do for her monologue. although she nearly did lady macbeth throwing herself off the tower, to be hella edgy…. but she opted not to do that in the end. but she picked serious pieces bc she was sick and tired of being classed as the one trick pony go-to funny person.

okay. this really went off topic. but y’all get the point??? the decision of leaving catholic school was a hell of a ride for little 14-16yo me. it was confusing, terrifying and tied up in years of being overly judged and feeling like people wanted me to leave bc they were sick of me. it was tied up in years of mid-class meltdowns that had become kind of routine for me to have, and that people were just brushing me off as “attention seeking”…. but also ironically waiting for me to snap at any second for another wild shouting match or walkout; which would then make me look like i was “unruly” or “untameable/unmanageable” or whatever the fuck….. but i couldn’t take that anymore, for the final senior years. i HAD to leave it.

again it was hard to leave for loyal little teen me, despite how lonely and isolated she felt. why leave your friends when you’re comfortable??? but also: why stay in this toxic environment where people are just waiting for you to either shut the fuck up and put up with it or just blow up and absolutely lose your shit??? that’s just unhealthy asf. and the only unruly thing that’s happening here is the complete lack of mental health help or management in the aussie education system; but most especially in religious schools.

[whoneedssexed]

Im not meaning to come across as a TERF or imply something about all trans people. People have different experiences based on sex, and as a trans man I am still terrified of things that cis woman also worry about. Trans men don't experience misogyny because we're men but trans women do is what confuses me

But... that statement does make sense? "men don't experience misogyny, but women do, and that confuses me". Regardless of whatever else we talk about, I think you worded that very poorly.

Anyway...

The concept of sex based oppression is the basis of terf rhetoric, it's one of the foundations. The idea that we have "male socialization" or "female socialization" is also TERF rhetoric. And the belief that trans women have male entitlement is also TERF rhetoric.

Trans women experience misogyny because they are women. They have an intersection with transphobia, which is transmisogyny. We see the same thing with black women and the intersection of racism, aka misogynoir.

Trans men do have their own unique experiences that deserve to be discussed. I disagree that they are a target of misogyny, but misogyny has wormed its way into about the entirety of society. It's because of misogyny that men are attacked for being "too feminine". It's because of misogyny that transitioning resources are being taken from trans boys. Etc.

This is called, I think, misdirected misogyny?

But it's why I still tag things to do specifically with men as sexism as well. Because in the end, patriarchal garbage is based on the hatred of women, and affects trans people.

But as a dfab trans enby, I don't like this concept that simply because I am dfab I am always and forever a target of women's oppression. I have my own issues with being seen as female as it is, and have always, I don't like being slated into "actually female deep down" categories. And I know a lot of people agree with me on that.

tl;dr: You're a man. Misogyny is oppression and hatred of women. So you can't be a target of it. But you're a target of transphobia.

However, you are still affected by it because you are a human being living in a patriarchy. Just like a gay man, a black man, a disabled man, etc, you are not oppressed on your basis of being male, but on your marginalized group (in this case, because you are trans). You are still privileged over trans women, which is generally how we address "misandry" claims.

But, as a trans man, you have unique experiences from cis men, of course. Things that cis men will never have to consider or worry about, hell even some things that trans women won't worry about. That's pretty much true of any man in a marginalized group. But there are still things trans women experience that you won't, because you're not a transfem in any degree.

I mean, I see it kind of like when people pretend "yaoi" comics are just as bad as the exploitation lesbians experience in any sort of pornography. So-called "fujoshis", even those with the worst takes on queer men, are never going to be the same as predatory cishet men and how they treat queer women.

You deserve to talk about your unique experience as being a trans man/transmasc/dfab nonbinary/etc. Like, idk, I know there's good reasons women have for being suspicious of people creating men-only spaces even for marginalized people. After all, even queer men, including trans men, have used such places to just be vilely misogynistic and let those feelings fester. At the same time, I don't like the concept that someone who is marginalized doesn't deserve any space to speak specifically to their group's experiences.

Anyway. I think it's important to know that oppression isn't an exact hierarchy or step ladder. And trying to measure privilege and tick off lists of oppression angles doesn't really help anyone, but instead drives us to fight amongst ourselves and try to one-up each other or make ruinous assumptions about identities that shut down discussion and outcast people out of their own communities.

That is, we focus too much on verbiage and words and labels, and not enough on what we can do to change what's going on.

Trans women being killed needs changed. Trans men being either treated like confused little girls or having their loved ones do a 180 on their treatment because "now they are men" also needs to change. Doesn't matter how full a privilege glass they have.

- mod BP

[theythemsam]

spn 2x13, liveblog, collected posts (all 6 of them) or as i like to call it: I will murder Dean one day for various reasons, one of them being his sexism, the other that he wears shoes in bed. Also: Sometimes... monsters killing people... is better?

the fact that Dean wears his shoes to bed is… terrifying

#like... hes just lying there fully dressed WITH HIS SHOES ON#IN HIS BED#LIKE RIGHT ON THE SHEETS#WHO DOES THAT?#if yall tell me this is an american thing im gonna leave this planet and never return#like... street shoes inside a house are bad enough#but wearing shoes to bed? like your dirty outside walking on the street next to dog poop and drunk guy vomit shoes?????#IN YOUR BED???? where you sleep?!?!?!#thats just incredibly disgusting

  also… the fact that dean just finds it so incredibly important to call the Gloria, the woman who was visited by the ghost in this episode, a hooker constantly is… bad

like yup, definitely a #feministicon that dude

#for someone who consumes so much p0rn dean surely treats sex workers well... NOT ahahahahah#deans creep factor

  Listen I might not agree with the fact that the monster this week makes people into murderers, cause they deserve better than being locked up forever, but at least this monster has integrity!

#killing murderers #killing pedophiles #ya know i like its style

  I love that we get to see that Sam has faith/is religious.

#it adds to his character

 Sam’s disappointment when he finds out that it’s father gregory though :/ i mean it makes sense but damn this must hurt

 “And I needed to think that there was something else, watching too, you know? Some higher power. Some greater good. And that maybe …Maybe I could be saved.“

I Cry, i love my boy sam so much

[trendingnewsb]

Glenn Close: You lose power if you get angry

From vengeful mistress to Agatha Christie matriarch: the actor talks about Harvey Weinstein, mental illness and growing up in a cult

Glenn Close and I sit at the corner of a large boardroom table in an intimidatingly minimalist office on the 14th floor of a Los Angeles talent agency. Its the kind of environment in which Patty Hewes, the ruthless lawyer Close played in Damages for five seasons, would feel at home and Im almost waiting for her to stand up, slam both hands on the table and shout, Ill rip your face off or any of the other terrifying put-downs that defined her double Emmy award-winning performance.

But Close is in high spirits and radiates such warmth I barely notice the chill from the tower blocks air-con. After we fiddle with the settings on our swivel chairs, which are so high they make anyone under six foot kick their legs like a child on a swing, the 70-year-old, six-time Oscar nominee and star of stage, television and film starts telling me about her dreams. I have had a lot recently, full of this wonderful love for a younger man. The dreams just keep coming and I wake up thinking, that was wonderful! It wasnt necessarily us doing the sexual act, just the feeling of love.

With her white hair cut to a sharp crop, and wearing a relaxed navy blazer, chinos and black scarf on account of the arctic corporate temperature, she looks stylish and fit. I have never felt better in my life, and I am, like, 70, she says. Im really a late bloomer.

She says she feels a disconnect between how she sees herself and how people may view me when I walk down the street, like: Theres an old lady. You know, there is now this cult of the model. Everyone on the red carpet is made into a model. That is very hard to not play into I have a bit of podge I am trying to get rid of, but its hard. I just think, Oh fuck, Ive been doing this my whole life! But the irony is, you just get better and better with age. You dont feel less alive or less sexy.

In Agatha Christies Crooked House. Photograph: Nick Wall

We are here to talk about Crooked House, the Agatha Christie adaptation debuting on Channel 5, before its theatrical release, in which Close plays Lady Edith, a matriarch of a very dysfunctional family. Close says, Christies grandson came to the set and he validated the fact that it was her favourite book, and the one that had never been adapted. He said when she handed it to the publisher, she was told she had to change the ending, because it was too upsetting and controversial. She refused. Its still pretty controversial.

This production, co-written by Julian Fellowes, might not be as spendy as Kenneth Branaghs $55m Murder On The Orient Express, but the ensemble cast is equally starry: joining Close are Gillian Anderson, Max Irons, Terence Stamp and Christina Hendricks. Close presides over her co-stars with gravitas and grace, in an understated performance that finds the humour in an otherwise bleak setup. But youd expect nothing less from the actor whose 40 years in the business started with star turns in Broadway productions (she won a Best Actress Tony in 1983 for Tom Stoppards The Real Thing). Her first film role, at the age of 35, was with Robin Williams in The World According To Garp, for which she received an Oscar nomination as she did for her supporting roles in The Big Chill and The Natural. Her performances in Fatal Attraction, Dangerous Liaisons and Albert Nobbs, about the life of a transgender butler in late 19th century Ireland, which she also co-wrote, racked up further Oscar nominations but still no win. This is seen by many as a travesty: Close brings a precision to her film work, honed through her years on stage. She has that rare taut quality Jack Nicholson also has it where you believe that beneath the steely control she is capable of snapping at any moment.

It was this that led Andrew Lloyd Webber to cast her in 1993 as the tragic silent movie star Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard on Broadway. Close reprised the role 23 years later, getting her old costumes out of storage (she has kept all her costumes and recently donated the collection to a university in Indiana) for its revival in Londons West End.

As Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction: Clearly she had mental health issues. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

But it was her Oscar-nominated turn as Alex Forrest in Fatal Attraction in 1987 that proved career-defining. Thirty years on, Close still counts Forrest as the character of whom she feels most fond; she has admitted to fighting tooth and nail against the films eventual denouement, which turned the character into a bunny-boiling psychopath and Close into the casting directors go-to woman on the verge for years afterwards. Now we have the vocabulary to talk about these things, clearly she had mental health issues, she says.

Close sits regally still as she speaks, emphasising her points by leaning forward and locking eyes. Shes comfortable with silences and often takes a theatrical beat or two before answering questions. Shes all poise and control, but does she ever lose her temper?

I express my feelings quietly. I am not afraid of confrontation, but I am not particularly good at it. If I get attacked, I am not good at attacking back. There is fight, flight and freeze and I tend to freeze. That is not a strength of mine. I love the fact that my daughter Annie [Starke, an actor] is more of a fighter than I am. She doesnt let people get away with shit. While she agrees that women have a harder time being angry, publicly, than men, she says, I have played a lot of characters, and actually anger makes you lose power. Patty Hewes [in Damages] she hardly ever lost her temper, but when she did, it was very specific. I have always felt you lose power if you get that angry.

The collective outpouring of anger among women in Hollywood right now is something of which Close is acutely aware. She says that sexism in the industry has shifted more slowly than it should have done throughout her career: It took Harvey Weinstein and someone calling him out [for real change to happen]. I know Harvey, and he has never done that to me, but people would say he was a pig. I never knew that it was that bad and I dont personally know anybody who has endured that. I would like to think that I would have done something about it.

We discuss whether its possible to separate the work from the personalities involved in it. News has just broken that House Of Cards will be back for another series without Kevin Spacey, after it was originally canned because of harassment claims brought against its leading man. Close wraps her scarf around her chest and fixes me with her electric eyes. Artists, to make a huge generality, walk on a very thin line. Sometimes, like my beloved friend Robin Williams, who was one step away from madness, whatever makes them a great artist also makes them very complicated human beings. Again, that doesnt mean they can prey on and abuse people.

With Harvey Weinstein in 2013. Photograph: Mike Coppola/Getty Images

At the root of the problem of sexism in Hollywood right now is, Close says, biology. I think the way men have treated women, from the beginning of time, is because they have different brains to women. So I am not surprised by it at all. I say to a guy, Tell me the truth, if you see a woman walk into a room, what is the first thought that goes through your head? His answer, always, is, Would I fuck her? It doesnt mean they act on it. If you can evolve into a society where men know that they should not always act on it then there has been a positive revolution. But you cant just say that theyre not going to have the thought that is ridiculous. It also has to be the women, who are not powerful, to be OK to say no and leave the room. I think its unrealistic to say were going to change but we have to evolve.

I ask Close who she thinks is a great man today. She is silent, thinking, for what feels like a full 60 seconds in which I am so tempted to throw out some options: Barack Obama, the Pope, the friendly security guard on reception who let us in

Nelson Mandela, is her final answer, but Im not sure shes convinced. I guess for me, she says, greatness is taking your humanity and still doing the good thing. Its sad to say that there are very few men, who are leaders, who have some sort of moral code that they dont deviate from because of popular opinion.

She thinks we are undergoing a crisis of masculinity: In the public mind, yes. I was outraged when I heard that there was a war against men I was like, are you joking? What do you think has been happening against women for centuries?

Close knows all too well about the misuse of power, because her own upbringing was, as she puts it, complicated. When she was seven, her parents joined a cult. Moral Re-Armament or MRA was a modern, nondenominational movement founded by an American evangelical fundamentalist which extolled the four absolutes: honesty, purity, unselfishness and love. Her father, a physician working in the Congo, sent Close with her brother and two sisters from the family home in Greenwich, Connecticut, to live at the MRA HQ in Caux, Switzerland (Closes mother, Bettine, was a socialite).

She is vague on the details but clear on the impact this experience had on her as a teenager: I was repressed, clueless and guilt-ridden. The timeline is patchy, but Close travelled with MRA in the 60s as a member of their musical groups, and spent time back in Connecticut at an elite boarding school. I had a wonderful time at Rosemary Hall, a girls school, she says. I was in a renegade singing group called the Fingernails: A Group With Polish. But she remained, as she calls it clueless. A lot of my friends knew boys youd have these horrendous dances with boys schools and they would get the guys they wanted and I would just stay with the person I was with.

As Patty Hewes in Damages. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

She was briefly married before going to university. It is a complicated story for me. I was married before college, and kind of in an arranged marriage when you look back on it, and my marriage broke up when I went to college, as it should have. I was 22. But my liberal arts school had a wonderful theatre that was my training, my acting school.

Was that where she finally learned about sex, popular culture, the ways of the world? Not really, she says. I still am learning.

Close has two sisters, Tina the eldest, and Jessie her younger sister; and two brothers, Alexander, and Tambu Misoki, who was adopted by Closes parents while living in Africa. At the age of 50, Jessie spent time in a psychiatric hospital and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, a weight that had been hanging over the family, undiscussed, for years. Talking about mental illness just wasnt done, Close says. You dont have a vocabulary for it and youre also very aware of appearances. You dont want to appear a crazy family.

In 2010 Close founded Bring Change to Mind, a charity that aims to end the stigma around mental illness by talking openly about it and its effect on families. It was my nephew who was first diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. This is basically schizophrenia with an ingredient of bipolar. And when that happened, it was like, What? My sister Jessie, his mother, didnt know what was wrong. He went to the hospital for two years and that saved his life. Then Jessie was, finally, correctly diagnosed herself.

With sister Jessie in 2009. Photograph: Getty Images

Close felt a duty to her family to give them a high-profile person who is not afraid to talk about it publicly. It affects the whole family. We always knew my grandmother and mother had depression my sister does, I do to a certain extent. But I didnt know my great-uncle had schizophrenia. I knew my half-uncle died by suicide. There was a lot of alcoholism addiction, self-medication. Nobody ever talked about it. I knew my grandmother was depressed, but at first I thought she lived in a hotel, not a hospital, because she always said how good the food was.

Close says she and her siblings are of one mind politically, but admits she does have members of her family who voted for Trump. I tried to understand that. Theyre not crazy people who have been brainwashed by Fox News, but I try to understand the anger, because I think that has been building up ever since Watergate. It was watching that scandal unfold that made her realise Americans have always been naive, we just take for granted what we have, and we always thought of our leaders as good people. With Watergate, people became cynical about government.

Today, she says, Washington is a bunch of self-serving She searches for an expletive and after a second settles on men. She says, Its hard to believe that people are so out for themselves. It goes against what you would like to believe about your country. I feel eloquence is incredibly important for a leader, and we had that with Barack Obama, who made his initial impact because he gave that incredibly eloquent speech, but he lost his eloquence in his presidency. We always need someone to say, I hear you, someone who can put their words into unity and hope and we dont have that. I think the last person may have been Robert Kennedy.

And now you have Trump tweeting nonsense.

Its devastating. Social networks are now like our nervous system, and if you keep pumping that kind of crap into the nervous system, it is going to have an effect on a population.

With Kevin Kline in The Big Chill. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

Close doesnt talk politics with her friends because she doesnt really have many friends. I have always forced myself into situations I am not comfortable in. I am an introvert, and I was painfully shy as a child. I think I still have a big dollop of that in my persona. I read a book called Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Cant Stop Talking and it was a real comfort to me I realised I was that person I had always been. And it was at that point I told myself to stop pushing myself into situations that I dont enjoy. I dread cocktail parties.

She tells me shes pretty reclusive and can count her closest friends on two fingers. I ask if shes still good friends with Meryl Streep.

I have never been close friends with Meryl. We have huge respect for each other, but I have only done one thing with her, The House Of The Spirits.

I apologise for assuming they were pals, being of a similar age and stature in Hollywood, and admit this negates my next question: Who would win in an arm wrestle, you or Meryl?

Close laughs. Oh, I would, because I am very strong.

***

The tightest bond Close has is with her only daughter Annie, 29. Annies father is the film producer John Starke whom Close dated for four years from 1987, but never married. Annie was never a door-slamming, difficult teenager. Close tells me: When my Annie was three, she looked at me, and said, I want you. I knew what she meant. I, at the time, was a single working parent, sometimes even when I was home, working or producing something, I was there and not there.

With daughter Annie Starke in 2010. Photograph: Rex/Shutterstock

She doesnt think its any easier for working mothers today and acknowledges, I had it easy because I could afford to have help think of the women who cant afford it and have to put their child in some shaky childcare centre. No, I think it is incredibly hard for women. Any person, in any profession, feels that tug [of guilt]. We discuss the intimacy of the single-parent, only-child bond. Once, I went to vacuum Annies car seat as we were moving house, and a lot of life had happened there, so I was crying. She said, Mummy, are you OK? I said, Yeah, Im OK. And she said, Here I am.

She was married to businessman James Marlas from 1984 to 1987 and then, following other relationships, including that with Starke, she married again, in 2006, to venture capitalist David Evans Shaw, divorcing him nine years later.

Would she marry again?

I dont know.

Does she think marriage is important?

I think it is a positive evolutionary component that we are better with a partner. I think to have a partner that you can go through life with, creating a history with, that you can find a comfort with, have children with there is nothing better. This is an opinion I have come to very late in life, at an ironic moment, where I dont have any of that. I dont know if I will again. But I do think its a basic human need to be connected.

Despite this, shes happy on her own right now. This is a good time in life. I do think, what would it be like to have a partner again? But it would have to be very different from what I had before. Then I have that great dream and wake up happy.

Crooked House is on Channel 5 at 9pm on 17 December.

Commenting on this piece? If you would like your comment to be considered for inclusion on Weekend magazines letters page in print, please email weekend@theguardian.com, including your name and address (not for publication).

Read more: https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/dec/16/glenn-close-harvey-weinstein-mental-illness-cult-fatal-attraction

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[icecream-eaterrr]

Wow republicans rule 46/50 states (governors& legislature) & rule most of the house & senate & soon the white house..... I'm actually more scared than I was before about Trump being elected. Im terrified like there are these conservative, stubborn, self centered, cis, straight, abled-bodied, white men running the US. Maybe political wise we might go down hill but personally 2017 should still be great. Also ppl love to say that Republicans can fix our economy but... every time we've had a republican president, our economy suffered greatly. Bill Clinton did well with our Economy & Obama got us out of one of the worse recessions ever since the Great Depression & rose the employment rate while in office. I don't know if people are continuously lying to themselves saying that Trump will be a great president (simply in terms of money & not the betterment of the American People) because he's of the 1% as well as a businessman with no prior political experience at all. I mean, I have more political experience than Trump & I'm a 19 year old Freshman in College. But just because Trump has money for his own personal pockets does not mean he will be good for an entire country of people, many of his businesses & such have failed so its possible that him being the president could be one of those failures. He is not a people person & he has no political experience and everyone he's hiring to be on his political team or country advisors (not sure what they're called) all have a history of some sort of bigotry (Mostly Racism, also Major sexism, homophobia/transphobia of course & we know Trump is all those things as well as Ableist & much more). But hey, think what you want. I'm just posting my thoughts on my blog.

[bonesproj3ct]

RANT

im sorry this is really long this just happened and i feel pretty upset to say the least.

If i’m being honest here i am not much of a cryer but i feel like crying. i feel sick to my stomach and im shaking rn. Let me just say that means a lot.

so i was working outside with my dad and he was listening to the michael savage radio (already not sounding too good). i never really pay attention to the shows i usually block out sexism and white privilege what my dad listens to on the radio.

anyway he started talking about how most of the greatest inventors in america were white males and my dad decided to talk to me about it.

“What do you think about this?” my dad asked. i asked what he meant (because, like i said previously, i wasn’t listening to the radio). He said, “why do you think white males are better inventors or more famous? than i dont know black people or women?”

this was when i started shaking. debating my beliefs or even talking about my opinions was never my strong suit. like most people i would think up things i could have said after the fact but i could already tell it wouldn’t matter in this situation.

i just shakily said,”well because women were generally seen as useless and inferior and didn’t even have a vote until the 1900s. and black people were generally seen as the same thing. either way they weren’t given a chance.”

my dad started shaking his head at me like i was stupid.”no!  You know what i think? i think that the reason white male are mainly the greatest inventors is because we were more blessed by god.”

and i felt so sick to my stomach. not only is my dad-- my father who raised me all my life and someone who i saw as a person to rely on- was making literally all other races seem more inferior than white people. and calling women less intelligent than men.  my dad was calling me less intelligent and overall inferior to him or any white male i will ever meet. as a women i always knew i would have to deal with sexism at some point in my life. but i was terrified to find out tthat the first time i would ever have to deal with it was at my own home.

i already feel inferior to people in general on a regular basis but i never thought i would be told that from one of my parents. so, while i was already trying to hold in my tears, i just quietly said, “ok,” and tried to get inside the house as fast as possible.

[caredogstips]

The Fat JewaEUR( tm) s ‘Money Pizza Respect’ is the worst notebook IaEUR( tm) ve ever spoke

I wish I liked the Fat Jews new notebook. It would make a far more interesting bit if he surpassed our anticipations. No one I talked to expected it to be good. I gambling he didnt even write it, said one sidekick. I bet he had his interns write it.

To contextualize this for people who arent on the Internet all the time, Josh The Fat Jew Ostrovsky became the center of controversy when he was accused of stealing memes and jokes from humorists this summer. Ostrovsky had been doing this for years, and amassed millions of Instagram admirers with his admittedly good meme aggregating skills. But comedians took a stand when he signed with the flair bureau CAA in August.

Upon interpret Money Pizza Respect , there is no doubt in my knowledge that the unfortunately entitled work is written by the Fat Jew himself; I confidently assert that Money Pizza Respect is singlehandedly the most difficult journal I have ever read.

His actual sense of humorand Im talking about humor , not the memes he aggregatesis dreadfully abject. He relies on a Tucker Max-esque style of storytelling, praising cocaine and alcohol abuse and fucking his groupies, who all represent a different type of crazy daughter stereotype.

In a section ironically titled The Eleven Commandments of Not Being the Worst Person Ever, he counsels readers that if you aggressively and frequently talk about your sexuality life, people will think youre gay. When you tell me that you undertook a slam pig and stuffed her axe wind, he writes, I assume that your actual destination is having anal sexuality with soldiers. Ostrovsky shapes sure to note that the only exception to this rule is Dan Bilzerian, who has literally thrown a woman off his roof, smashing her foot, and been accused of kicking another woman in the look.

Money Pizza Respect is fastened with homophobic statements. He writes a greenback to P. Diddy: Sorry for outing you as a homosexual. Im pretty sure you are, but Im sorry. Theres too a health dosage of sexism, describing his female groupies as a bunch of fours and fives who have monstrous maid sides detest their daddies. To accomplish the trifecta, he likewise manages to be transphobic, referring to transgender maidens as trannies in a section recounting two brothers bachelor party.( When two brothers and pals found out the strippers “whos” causing them lap dances were trans, they left the club immediately .)

Before I satisfied Ostrovsky, I was confused about how he was so successful, especially after reading his book, where he brags about his selfish and generally gross behaviour at every possible instant, proudly presentations pictures of him wearing a thong made out of beef jerky, and writes situations like, Cocaine is the greatest talent the world has ever seen.

When I sat down with him at a press junket, located at an arcade in Chinatown, I immediately understood why hes garnered so much success. He is unfortunately alluring and is actually a naturally funny person. Hes like the refrigerate, mean son in 8th point, the different types who inserted cup to all your best friend and attained merriment of girls for being ugly or not having boobs hitherto. The form who definitely bullied me, and hitherto I tirelessly tried to gain his affection.

During our interview, Ostrovsky remained on the defensive, masterful at answering my doubts with non-answers. He is somebody who has never taken life seriously, which is perhaps not too difficult for a straight, white, affluent male. He is basically interested in his conception of fun, and hopes youll connect him for the travel. If not, fuck off.

Its not that I began to like Ostrovsky or his book any more after converging him, but I extended from disliking him to appearing an iota of sorrow for him. His ostentatiou and unapologetic immaturity, his bratty affect: This is what has brought him success, and what I imagine will be his inevitable downfall.

So my approaching for this interview, because I know a lot of beings have been shitting on you, is to not shit on you .

No ones been shitting on me.

I was curious about how that affected you emotionally, and how you appeared about getting blasted by the media .

It was certainly a shitty situation. Im of the Internet, so its like a lot of beings screaming about thoughts. I respect trolling. I respect beings hollering at one another, which is why the Internet is so fucking great. I definitely didnt take it personally. It was also something that it was necessary to get talked about. Parties were not on the same sheet. Like a 38 -year-old comedy writer and a 16 -year-old Filipino millennial were not considering the questions the same way.

I try to look at it like I was the look of the whole stuff. I intend the Internet is a giant, lawless fuckin thing. Sometimes the work requires some rules But not too many. Because this is gonna be odd. No parents. But you know, sometimes beings get pissed. I undoubtedly see it from the 16 -year-old Filipino millennial back. I dont look for recognition on my nonsense and I dont ever watermark or anything like that, but I likewise get the other side extremely. Im old enough to understand both sides. I exactly miss everyone to be happy so were fuckin partying.

Instagram for fucking photos of puppies playing volleyball in sunglasses and iguanas surfing. I precisely want to have everyone get listen, set the problem, and then get back to surfing iguanas. It didnt rock me emotionally because I merely understood it as something that needed to be discussed. It definitely went hazardous and exciting at some points. Beings just get fucking crazy, theres a portion of those individuals who dont even know what theyre calling about. I get chased by TMZ. Some person followed me around a Duane Reade preserving my phone call. That was tight.

You liked that ?

I kinda felt like Leo, for like two seconds. It was also scary. No one wants that life. I was trying to look at it like this is a conversation that needed to be had. I didnt look at it as being shit on. The Internet is more important to me than their own families or anything. I would love to be with the Internet, have sex with the Internet, I affection the Internet. Now its a better place.

Why was it important for you to celebrate medicines, specifically cocaine, in your volume ?

Its a mixed bag. I refer to it as the best and worst event ever. Persona of the ethos of this notebook is that its a how-to guide in that its like I dont know what you should be doing but I know what you shouldnt be doing. Ive determined every horrible act. I basically think you read this book and you dont do coke. Because youre like, its gonna establish me unbearable. Like my breath is gonna smell like a napkin and get into a super intense exchange about trash I dont even care about.

I think it depends on how old-time the reader is. For me, Ive done coke so I understood more where you were coming from in that it can be great and appalling at the same age. From a girls position, it might just appear very cool .

It depends. Im pretty explicit that its been responsible for the greatest happenings that ever happened, but likewise some of the most terrifying happenings, very. I think its more self-reflective than it is encouraging.

Your notebook is provocative is many channels. Parties are going to interpret some of the content as transphobic and homophobic. I was thinking of the assembly whatever it is you refer to trans women as trannies .

I dont know what youre specific referring to.

You wrote about tranny strippers. Thats a contentious statement. Numerous trans parties have spoken out about how injurious they find that term to be. I was curious about how you would respond to those reviewers .

is a factual account of what happened. Youre talking about an actual pejorative statement?

Yeah. Its a insult. There were a bunch of moments in the book where I speak something and immediately thought about how angry it would realize social right activists on the Internet.

Social justice parties are angry at everything.

I was wondering if you included some things specific to be provocative .

No, obviously not. First of all, any social justice being can come at me at any time. I literally have more transgender pals who will vouch for me than anyone else. They self-identify as trannies. Request a transgender who is not a geek from the Internet how they identify, and I bet you will find hundreds who mark as trannies.

I know transgender tribes who determine that lane. Its like the N-word. If they call themselves that, its OK. But having a cis person is a different story .

Any person who would find offense in that kind of minutia is not someone who should be reading this book.

Its not your audience, thats possibly true-life.

That shouldnt be anyones gathering, as far Im concerned.

As I was speaking your volume, I was thinking about your crazy narcotic and sexuality storeys as they are linked to Tucker Max s legends from I Hope They Suffice Beer in Hell . Was he somebody who affected you ?

No, thats like bro culture stuff. This is completely different.

Tonally, there were similarities .

Ive never read it, but I also think that in terms of this notebook, like Ive been living concert prowes long enough to write a book full of debaucherous narrations, but I wanted to go with more pathos, true. From what I understand from Tucker Maxs stuff, he doesnt actually move into too much trash like that. Not all the fibs here are particularly turnt up, as far as Im concerned. There are some that are honest lineage floors , not every narration is about partying.

But a lot of them are .

We can go through it When I was writing it, putting in some ardour and truth, and some real appear on it, like speak about my mummy having sex with Shel Silverstein and being a 9-year-old offspring performer diva. Shit like that, to me, that is not the same as walking around a bar with a breathalyzer. I dont not relate to it, but Ive never read any of his stuff.

Ostrovsky as small children actor Josh Ostrovsky

Do you differentiate between the Fat Jew as your performative character and yourself as Josh ?

No. I dont going to go at night and unscrew the hairection, sit down, and listen to This American Life and be like, Oh, what a hard daylight at work! Being the Fat Jew! No, its all one in the same. To me, this is gonna be disingenuous. I was doing this stuff long before there was anywhere to share it, long before anyone knew about it. Ten years ago, people in New York would be like, Oh thats the Fat Jew, the guy who does crazy stuff. It wasnt something I created and raised in order to share on social media for the masses.

But this is your career, this is your joy, but a lot of artists and performers differentiate between their performative ego, which is still their ego, and who they are when theyre not playing .

Im not an master or relevant actors. Im neither.

How do you link ?

Im the only one whos really just going for it. Im genuinely forming it up as I go along. I could start a ros companionship and that could become a real thing. Im about to do the worlds firstly EDM cologne.

What is that gonna aroma like ?

I dont know. Thats a good inquiry. Like I dont even just knowing that that entails but Im gonna do it. Its 2015. Anything is possible. The world-wide is so ridiculous at this extent. I might open a yoga ashram in Toronto. Who knows? Im one of the only people who doesnt consider anything on or off limits. I dont think that it can be defined. We have this human need to compartmentalize, to be like, What are you? But I dont know.

I guess its my job to mention, as a novelist trying to make sense of what you do.

I dont think theres anything to make sense of. I dont know. What do you think I do?

I think youre a content developer and musician .

Thats vague. But yeah. Im not not. But thats what Im enunciating. I like to keep parties approximating, obstruct people off kilter. If people suppose Im a comedian, I will move in a totally different direction and start seeing cologne. I wanna build people move, What the fuck? Maintaining parties guessing, remaining genuine gossip running about me, whether its, I dont want to say the word negative, but whatever its gonna be, thats what I am. A communication starter? I dont know.

Tastemaker ?

Conversation piece? Idiot? All of the above?

Whats your goal with your work? Why do you do what you do? Aside given the fact that you exactly want to do it .

The end goal with the book is that I remember I can get some turnt-up 18 -year-old to read. Thats the challenge, like, can you get fuckin some kids to read and think its genuinely fuckin cold? Is that doable? Ill literally do it just for that.

Were doing speaking raves to promote the book. IRL is what the programs called. Its just like gigantic DJs and works. Like, can you stimulate them read? I think its doable. I dont thoughts writing knows how to do it. I dont think mothers know how to do it.

So you want to realize say chill ?

Kind of. What if Im somehow the person to do it?

What are your favorite journals ?

I ardour Shel Silverstein, and not only because my mom fucked him. Mostly, Im the type to read 100 listicles. Like, what kind of bagel is Rihanna? You know what I entail? One-hundred times Rihanna ate fruit. Im not speaking enough books.

No ones reading enough journals .

Maybe now? That would fucking funny. To get a fucking 17 -year-old whos over it to sit down and read an entire journal? I symbolize I put in some trash to break up the chapters, like you can color in a picture of Tyrese. I symbolize, I dont want you to have to read too much.

Illustration by Max Fleishman

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