#it’s been nice to write again!
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hi!! I think your art is *so cool* o(≧∇≦o)
do you think you could draw more moshang? either post canon or that au you did last time?? (baby mobei has my heart and all I own)
(˵ •̀ ᴗ •́ ˵ ) oh! how about return to childhood—moshang flavor?
don't question this king, shang qinghua, he knows what he's about
#just because junshang is going to throw a fit and doesn't know how to capitalize on a good thing doesn't mean mbj is the same#svsss#moshang#mobei jun#shang qinghua#mbj#sqh#return to childhood#he's finally small enough to fit on sqh's lap!#he's going to have sqh carry him *everywhere* until his qi evens out and he becomes full-sized again#maximize the spoiled prince vibe - sqh is going to be exhausted by the end of this he is not having as much fun as sqq#anyway the demon court is just going to have to bite their tongues and deal with it otherwise they'll have a full sized mbj come after them#though tbh this would be a fascinating au because yeah... just like with lbh there's probably enough people who'd be willing to gun for mbj#when he's small and severely weakened#but i love the idea of his throne suddenly being to big for him so he just makes sqh assist (cuddle)#anyway anon thanks for the prompt!! i am SO happy to draw more moshang and welcome any and all suggestions#either just about them or about the childhood!au#i really should play with the concept more... i have not been able to get into a writing mood lately but it'd be nice to finally write#a svsss fic - i've got at least a couple for both mdzs and tgcf after all#until then though: art!
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Dudes from maths notes is all I can offer for now 😵💫
#postal game#postal dude#postal redux#p2#idiots idiots idiots idiots#menaces in different fonts#sadly I like awful camera quality pics#I got a nice grade on my maths test so now I believe I can doodle without my teacher commenting 😼#I do that nonetheless cause my hand doesn't ever stay still#it's always writing or doodling something even without me putting thought behind it!!!#hehehehhehehehe#been thinking a lot about postal recently#I wanna play postal again...#uyhufududhh#martyryo#doodles
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returning to it
#witch hat tag#orufrey#after a few weeks off it's rusty but..how nice to realise i can just make an image out of nothing. i can express myself again#i'm the only one who can do that for me...#i've been starting to write a modern au orufrey fic. i love the feeling of the skeleton of a story beginning to birth itself...#anyway oru was endearing in the last chapter and kitchen too. is qifrey alive
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I love your writing so much!! If you are taking prompts (no pressure!!!!): daniel doing something cute for max’s bday while they are together in Perth after Singapore ❤️
Hello, I love you!! You are SO nice and I appreciate you sending a prompt! This was probably not what you were envisioning, even if there are cute things happening, but I hope you like it anyway. I wanted more birthday stuff but it sort of ran away from me. Also, this is about 2k oh god.
Daniel figured out in the early days, even before they were actually together, that Max doesn't care much about his birthday.
He will never say no to cake (unless his trainer gives him really mean looks), he appreciates gifts, and he loves a good party, but he has no real feelings about it being his birthday.
Daniel had asked him about it once, wondering if maybe there was some sort of deep rooted trauma behind it he didn't know about, but Max had just shrugged, easy and relaxed. It is not important, Daniel, when I get old, if I am getting older every day.
He knows that this year Max has no plans for it, and knows that neither of them minds, both just wanting a quiet day with each other.
It's been...a lot, lately.
Even here, away from the crowds and the hungry world that has just recently spit him out, like a bitter and unwanted bite, it's not been easy to let everything go.
The first two days after landing they had barely left the bed, sleeping and kissing lazily, too drained to even have sex. The third day they had spent with Daniel's family. The fourth, the one when the news had become official for the world, he had gotten horrifically drunk, in a way he hadn't done in years, Max being the one providing glasses of water for once and hands on his forehead while he was crying over a toilet bowl. He doesn't have many memories of the fifth one, spent nursing the worst hungover on this side of thirty.
And then he had tried to start his new life.
He doesn't know yet how that will look like, which makes it harder, but he's taking one step at a time, like his mom has been telling him.
Yesterday's step had been joining Max for some training, because he doesn't want to actually become a couch potato, and looking into finding a new internet provider after Max's numerous complaints.
Today's first step is going to be the farmers market.
He considers waking up Max for it, but it's barely seven a.m., and he doesn't actually want to be threatened with bodily harm this early in the day, so he leaves him with a kiss (Max doesn't even stir) and a post-it note on the bedside table.
It doesn't take long for him to decide that the farmers market isn't for him, at least not yet. Maybe it's an acquired taste, but there's just too much going on, bustling people pressing around him, vendors loudly calling out prices, colorful things attracting his attention everywhere, making his head spin.
He manages to get what he wanted and then flees, back to the safety of his car and towards the quiet of the farm.
It's only when he's halfway there that he realises that a few years ago he would have loved all of it, and then has to force himself to not have an existential crisis over it, wondering if it's just a result of getting old, or if something about the last few months has irrevocably broken him.
When he pokes his head into the bedroom, he finds that Max is awake, sitting up against the headboard, phone in hand and blankets pooled around his waist, looking soft and sleep-mussed.
"Good morning," Daniel says, stepping inside and feeling the warmth of Max's smile wrap around his lungs. "Happy birthday."
Max, impossibly, seems to soften further, his ears growing pinker.
"Thank you," he says, his voice still raspy with sleep. He reaches for Daniel, but he holds up a hand, taking a step back towards the door.
"Hold on, I have something for you. Don't move."
He watches as Max makes a show of settling back against the pillows and stilling there, beaming at him when Daniel laughs, retreating in the other room.
He comes back holding a paper bag and a bottle of orange juice in one hand and a small bouquet of flowers in the other, offering both to Max with a smile, refusing to feel self conscious about it.
Max blinks up at him, fingers just a touch away from Daniel's hand, surprise and confusion mixing on his face.
"For me?" he asks, soft and amazed.
Daniel nods, not really trusting himself to speak, and Max finally closes the distance, wrapping his fingers around the bunch of stems and taking the flowers from Daniel, pulling them close to his chest and burying his face into the colorful petals.
Daniel doesn't really know what kinds of flowers they are, he just chose a few that looked pretty, but he doesn't think it matters. Not when Max looks up at him again, cheeks red and eyes bright, smiling wide wide wide, happy and lovely.
"Thank you, Daniel," he says, so earnestly it cracks something open in Daniel's chest, unwanted and unexpected, making him feel like everything is too much once again.
Luckily, Max seems to notice, because he always notices, and he settles the flower gently on the blankets, uncaring of the wet stems, before tugging Daniel down in his lap. His hands are solid weights on Daniel's hips, and for the first time since he woke up that morning, Daniel feels like he can breathe fully, settled and steady, the feeling of being adrift that he had refused to acknowledge pushed away for a little while longer.
"What's in there?" Max asks, thumbs rubbing circles on Daniel's hipbones, gesturing with his chin towards the paper bag still in Daniel's hand.
The smell of baked goods has for sure given it away already, but Daniel makes a show of it, extracting a croissant as if it was a bunny from a magic hat, wishing Max's laughter could seep right into his bloodstream, weaving itself around his cells.
Max bites into the croissant cheerfully, not minding the flaky crumbs that rain down on the sheets, thanking Daniel again and humming his approval.
Daniel's chest feels warm.
"What's that?" Max asks again while he chews, pointing at the orange juice.
"Orange juice," Daniel tells him, untwisting the cap and offering the bottle to him, missing Max's hand as soon as it's gone. "Watched Marco squeeze it fresh myself."
He does his best to keep his face straight as Max hesitates, bottle halfway up to his mouth, eyes narrowing.
"Marco?"
"Charming guy, yes," Daniel teases, unable to keep himself from smiling any longer, amused by Max's frown, "about sixty years old."
The frown disappears as fast as it had formed, and Max smirks at him, finally taking a sip.
"Forty years too old for you," he says once he has swallowed, laughing at Daniel's outraged squeak.
Max makes it up to him by offering him the middle bite of the croissant, sweet custard oozing onto his fingers, and then again by kissing Daniel thoroughly, sweet with vanilla and sugar.
"I have something else," Daniel tells him some time later, when they're all kissed out, pushing away from Max's chest and clambering back onto his feet.
Max follows him without question, tugging on a pair of shorts abandoned on the floor, and grabbing the flowers from the bed, taking them to the kitchen counter before joining Daniel outside.
Daniel grabs his hand, because he can here, away from prying eyes, and guides him around the porch to a cardboard box peeping quietly.
Max gasps, immediately crouching in front of it and opening it, letting out a surprised laugh when he sees what's inside: four little chicks, fluffy and pale yellow, tweeting up at him.
"You said we needed them to have a real farm," he says, carding his fingers through Max's hair, "and mom said I needed a project."
Max has his fingers in the box already, trying to pet the chicks without startling them, but he leans back to beam up at him, eyes crinkling.
"I love them," he declares, steady and unashamed, before turning back to the box.
This time, he manages to scoop two chicks up in his cupped hands, taking them out and cradling them against his chest, humming happily.
"I think you're their mama now," Daniel jokes, "you'll have to come back for them."
He knows he's said the wrong thing as soon as it's out of his mouth, Max's shoulders tensing, even as his hands stay gentle around the chicks. He doesn't know how to backtrack though, doesn't really want to, so he watches as Max puts them down again and gets up, knees cracking.
He goes to make a joke about that too, something about Max getting old, but the words get stuck in his throat at the sight of Max's unhappy expression.
"Of course I'm coming back, Daniel," Max says with a frown, steely certainty behind it. "Did you think I was going to leave and..."
He doesn't finish his sentence, crossing his arms and looking away, blinking rapidly.
"I..." Daniel swallows, picking at a cuticle on his thumb. "I'm sorry."
It's again the wrong thing to say, Max turning back towards him, eyes shiny and thunderous expression.
"I love you, Daniel," he snaps, forceful and determined. "I love you, Daniel, not the you who races. I am not going to fuck off and leave just because..."
He shakes his head, reels himself in. Daniel doesn't know if he's breathing, but if he was, he stops when Max steps closer, bringing his hands up to cup his cheeks.
"I will have to leave, because I need to finish this season, and maybe the next, I don't know, but I am always coming back. Any time I can find time, I will be here. Or in LA, or wherever you will decide to be."
Max swipes his thumb along Daniel's cheekbone, leaning forward to gently thump their foreheads together.
"I wish you were racing with me," he whispers, a confession he hadn't let Daniel have yet. Daniel's heart is split open. "Always it is better, to race with you. I thought we would be racing until we both retired, but I don't care that it is different. I will miss you, when you're here and I am there, and then I will come back."
Max's fingers are damp with Daniel's tears now, and Daniel lets himself be tugged closer, wrapped in the safest arms he knows, hiding his face in Max's neck.
"I'm sorry," he croaks again when he finally finds his voice again, twisting his hands on the back of Max's sleep shirt.
He feels Max's take a deep breath, letting it out against Daniel's hair.
"I wish I could fix it," he says slowly, measuring his words, "but I don't like when you say that I will leave. I have never left. I will not start now."
And he's right, Daniel knows he's right, but it's been hard to remember what he still has lately, after everything went down.
He nods against Max's skin and then lets Max hold him, gently rocking side to side, the chicks peeping softly at their feet, until he doesn't feel like he's going to break with every stuttering breath anymore.
"I was thinking we could go down to the trail," he murmurs, lips dragging against Max's damp shirt. "Take some food, have a picnic. I bought bread rolls."
Max squeezes him tightly once more before putting some distance between them to be able to look at his face, smiling gently.
"I like that. You can make the food while I take the babies to their new coop."
Daniel freezes.
"You have bought a coop too, right Daniel?" Max asks, eyebrows raising. Daniel can feel himself blush.
"I...didn't think about it?" he tries to justify himself.
For a second Max just stares at him, and then he starts laughing, dropping his head against Daniel's chest.
"Stop laughing at me!" Daniel whines, hitting Max's shaking back, but making no move to step away.
Max hits him back, then straightens himself, laughter still etched in the lines of his face.
"Alright," he says, slightly out of breath, "we are going to buy a coop instead. Or build a coop, I don't know what is better, we'll have to call your dad. And we'll do the trail tomorrow, or the day after."
Tomorrow, or the day after.
It seems to hit Daniel all at once, that this is the start. He has tomorrow, and the day after, to do anything he wants. To go on hikes with his boyfriend, to think about new projects, to pick up old hobbies and interests, no schedules to stop him. And he will have tomorrow, and the day after, even when Max has to leave to go racing again, because Max will come back, to have more tomorrows, and the days after, with him.
He surges forward, crashing his lips against Max's, who gasps in surprise but eagerly kisses him back, until all that's left in his brain is tomorrow and Max.
Only then he lets Max go again, stepping back with a smile.
"Let's go get a house for the babies, baby."
And in the lines of Max's smile he can almost see it already: tomorrow, and the day after.
#and now i am going the fuck to sleep#i didn't read this back i am way too tired for that so please if it makes no sense if there are sentences out of place or typos or anything#just ignore it okay? thanks#maxiel#my writing#thank you again babe i hope you like this i love you#and yes i will push my 'daniel buys chickens for max' agenda until i DIE#i have now put it into three different fics already and i regret nothing#i know the start is a bit clunky but it's been rough okay just be nice
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Haunted car Au part 15
Previous. Masterpost
“Ok, then “car dude”. What the fuck are you doing and what did you do to Danny?” Red Hood demanded.
Danny wasn't sure to feel threatened by the Red Hood or appreciated over the fact that Jason had gotten the notorious Crime Lord Bat to look for him after only about a day and a half of being a car. He knew the other street kids trusted Jason with their lives, but to ask The Red Hood to find a missing kid was a bit much in his opinion. And while Danny trusted Jason (never with a bet involving stickers and Bat-Items again), he Did Not Trust Hood, especially when in the secret Batcave. He may be kidnapped, but that is better than death by Bats for intruding and finding out secret stuff. Danny was pulled from his thoughts when he felt a rap on the hood of the car.
“Hey, you going to give some form of answer? Or are you actually going to try to play dumb, cause I will take your wheels off.” Hood threatened again.
“Wait, did you just threaten the car equivalent to breaking his legs?” Duke asked, both amused and horrified. “Nope! We are not torturing a car in the Batcave!” Duke proceeded to try to drag Hood away from the Batmobile.
“Ge’ Off Glowstick. I need to know about Danny!-” Hood yelled while shoving Duke away from him, only to be interrupted by the car blasting the word “SAFE!” that sounded like a snip from a baseball game.
“Are you saying that Danny is safe?” Hood clarified.
It took Jason everything he had to not facepalm at the campiest “Ya!” he had ever heard. It reminded him of something from one of those sports themed Disney movies that Dick sometimes makes them watch.
“Ok. Where is Danny?” Hood asked.
Both Duke and Hood heard a sound clip of Ben Kenobi saying “Of course I know him. He’s me.” echo in the cave.
“Danny?” Both vigilantes asked, Duke in confusion and Hood in horror. This was answered with a “correct” dinging noise that was definitely taken from the Riddler.
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@kizzer55555 @sebas-nights @candeartist422 @trappednyourheart @fandom-life-corrupted-me @tkiesai @2lbballpeenhammer @admiralwidow @rewrittenwrongs @whotfevenknowsanymore @symmetricalastigmatism
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#dp x dc#dc x dp#dpxdc#dcxdp#haunted car au#ngl I only know it is Friday cause I had the house to myself#what month is it? what year? hell if I know anymore#this week has been a Time#short work week due to Labor day#and everything kicked off at work on a four day week#no thank you. please never again#can i sleep a week? that sounds nice#writing this as my dog is trying to herd me to bed#she is bestest girl#rambling over#Time to call in the big guns#aka the brain cell holder#after they calm down from finding out that a 14? 15? year old street kid is stuck possessing the Batmobile
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Maedhros and Fingon in happier times. I haven't drawn these two in far too long!
#tolkien#the silmarillion#maedhros#fingon#feanorians#russingon#my art#i'm working on various art projects#but i still haven't been able to write anything#i'm a bit frustrated#still it was nice to draw these two again#what silm character should i draw next?#i need ideas
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the fish that keeps appearing all over my recommended only that he's out of jail and happy
#✁ | freshly decorated | ✃#roblox#sebastian pressure#sebastian solace#roblox pressure#pressure#pressure sebastian#the way I just copy and pasted these tags because I really don't know what tags he would use#he makes me so mad I literally downloaded roblox because I was curious of him#AND I GOT THE WOMP WOMP LINE?????? I WAS SO LIKE. never speak to me again#also I've been only drawing him for a week it's driving me insane get him OUT#it's so bad getting muses because then suddenly you can ONLY draw the muse I hate this stupid fish#(loving)#also random but#I like to think that if he did manage to escape the blacksite#the idea where like#he can only live in like more rural areas (probably living with someone to help him um#get food#domestic life kinda thing#but like I just think like being cozy. drinking something hot. being next to the fireplace to be warm#warmth being something that he lost a long time ago and it feeling so nice that he can feel it with someone he loves#or cares idk#i need to shut up I WILL LITERALLY JUST SUDDENLY WRITE A FANFIC IN THE TAGS IF I CONTINUE ANY LONGER T_T
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My comic is so pretty...
The hiatus is letting me take a little extra time on these episodes, and I'm definitely putting it to good use!!!
#almost done with my 8th episode... which will give me. two weeks. of buffer...#id really like at LEAST a month... but to be more comfortable id like two#which means 2-6 more episodes before I come back!#I've got about 7 weeks so its possible. but i do still have to finish book 4#so much to do ..........#I decided for my next comic im doing 3 updates a month.#having 10 days instead of 7 to make an episode is such a huge huge huge difference...#difference in quality and in my health!#anyways the comic is really pretty im really happy with the work im doing rn#the environments especially. im getting to spend a nice amount of time on them and theyre turning out so nicely#its nice to be able to write with a lot of different environments and not have to redo panels when I get to them cause of time#cause every time theres a wild angle? you need a new background...#so sometimes. often actually. there just isnt the time to make the backgrounds for those and i have to make them more flat...#which is fine. it doesnt really affect anything narratively. but. idk. it's kinda sad right?#anyways yeah! 10 days will be much better.#36 episodes a year is about what ive been uploading with my hiatuses on the weekly schedule anyways!#so might as well cut out that super stressful middleman and just commit to that#52 a year is just such a huge difference and i have to accept its not possible to me#i will hurt myself trying to do that. and i want to make comics my whole life!#so i cant push myself that hard now and sacrifice my future. we're gonna go slower after this...#anyways yeah cant wait to come back but also time. if I could get an extra week like a secret one just for me#where theres no chores no nothin just me and my work#thatd be great! so go ahead and do what you gotta do to give me a little pocket dimension#me: ugh i want to return right now...#the more logical me: NO we need the time to finish everything!!!!!! NOT right now!!!!#time and time again#ttawebcomic#comic panels#hiatus stuff#adam and steve
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hii could i req an soft dom arlecchino x sub/fem reader?? something w a really needy whiny reader n maybe like a mommy kink or thigh riding IDK tysm for ur time !
{☆} characters arlecchino {☆} notes drabble, fem reader, sub reader {☆} warnings 18+ content
"Slowly, doll. We're not in a rush." Arlecchino reprimands lightly, squeezing your hips with just enough force to keep you unmoving on her thigh– she was still being gentle, but the subtle warning in her tone spoke to how easily she could push you against the desk and turn you into such a mess that you couldn't even remember your own name..just that you were hers.
But the barest hint of stimulation from her slacks pressed against your throbbing cunt had you twitching, barely able to form words. All you could think about was the scorching, twisting need building in your stomach, desperation for relief slowly climbing until you'd think she was doing this on purpose to drive you mad.
"Please– 'm a good girl, right? I've been good.." You choked out, only to be met with the rough, husky laugh echoing in your ear that made you feel dizzy with a rush of need, her nails gliding along the skin of your hips as she pressed you down even more firmly– you couldn't see her face but it was easy to imagine the crooked smile twisting her lips at the way you inhaled sharply and tried to buck against her thigh.
"Shh. I know, doll. I've got you, just relax." She murmured in that sickly sweet tone that always had your knees buckling, the raspiness of her voice sending shivers down your spine. It was almost impossible to relax with her so close, the notes of metal lingering on her skin despite how well she presents herself– but you trusted her, despite how you know you shouldn't.
"There we go. Good girl." Arlecchino's grip on your hips loosened just enough for you to move if you so wished, and oh did it take every ounce of restraint to not do just that..she hadn't said you were allowed to, and you weren't about to spoil her good mood by being a brat. Not tonight, anyway. "Do you want to cum, doll?"
The fervent nod you offer in place of words draws a laugh from her lips, one that is almost mocking, making your face flush in embarrassment– but the sudden tap against your hip makes your mind go blank to the point you forget it all together, focused only on the feeling of her thigh rubbing against your cunt as you bucked against her thigh, the fabric slick and wet against your inner thighs. You'd have half the heart to be embarrassed about that, too, if not for the sudden brush of her thumb against your aching, neglected clit. Just that small touch has you speeding up your movements, practically drooling as you whimpered like a dog in heat.
"That's more like it, doll. Such a pretty girl." Arlecchino hummed, her other hand trailing up your stomach, between the valley of your breasts and ghosting across your throat before settling on grabbing your jaw in a firm, yet almost tender touch as she tilted your head to the side just enough for her to pull you into a burning kiss. It left you lightheaded, grinding down against her thigh as she claimed your mouth as her own, her thumb still ghosting over your clit sporadically.
She'd spent so long teasing you, constantly touching you but never where you needed her, that you already felt like you were going to snap like a wire. She must've been in a really good mood, then, when she pulled away from the kiss with an almost predatory lick of her lips, yet she settled on pressing kisses to your skin rather then the usual sharp bite of her teeth as they sunk into the curve of your shoulder.
"Are you close? Go on. I want to see your face when you cum– you look the prettiest when you finally break apart, doll." Arlecchino mused idly– as if she wasn't talking to you while you continued to rub your aching cunt against her thigh, chasing your own release through shaky, strained breaths. Her thumb swiped over your lips, brushing strands of hair stuck to your skin from your face– at the same time as she swiped her thumb more firmly against your clit, creating a vicious contrast that had you both melting at the barest hint of almost softness from her and the touch of her hand between your legs, dragging you into an orgasm that leaves you trembling and, had she not shoved her fingers into your mouth, screaming, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes.
"All done, little doll. Take it easy." She murmured, voice so quiet you almost didn't hear it, thumb swiping across your cheek to wipe away the stray tear, her hands pulling away to settle on your sides. "You did well– good girl. Let me take it from here."
#genshin impact smut#genshin smut#genshin x reader#genshin impact x reader#minors dni#writing tag#arlecchino x reader#arlecchino smut#i considered the mommy part for half a second but i see arle as the biggest butch and i didnt want 2 swap it on the fly looks around#the projection is just a little too hard my bad. i am obnoxiously annoying abt butch arle...#n e way ough soft arle...........not done enough......arle being rough is a given bc shes Like That but like#soft.......#i am weak for a woman who can do both and switch on a dime#arle imo leans like. 80-90% towards rough but shes got a soft spot if shes in a good mood yknow..#i wrote this at 1 am on like uhhh 2 hrs of sleep if it isnt good uhhhhh blame it on that lol#im just feeling it out rn anyway tryna get into writing proper smut again its been a hot minute oop#passes out and dies ough......................#also did NOT spellcheck i just wrote it all in one sitting and called it a day i am gonna pass out now so if u see a typo....#no u didnt#im not done yet wait a minute okay now just. soft arle got me okay. its rlly rare but shes good at playing nice okay#the appeal of arle is fucked up little creature but sometimes u want 2 be pampered i get it#OKAY im actually shutting up now passes out in the middle of the road
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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Thinking about him falling asleep on top of the tower, overlooking the neighborhood. Also thinking about him waking up in the middle of the night due to strange happenings.
#atlas.art#artists on tumblr#mcyt#hermitcraft#hermitcraft 10#rendog#renthedog#i am once again bringing you all out of context looks at the fic I've been writing with no context <3#likeahouseonfirefic#look! it has a tag now! nice and official lol. maybe that means I'll actually post it at some point#anyways I'm struggling with my phones wifi hotspot to get this to you all at 10 o'clock at night while i'm away from home so be nice lmao
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Okay okay, if you're up for it, for the micro story ask, what about "don't leave"?
I feel like the real challenge here is - can I keep this micro - brevity is not my friend but let's see
Bilbo is already half-way to Dale -- his pack heavy on his back, Gandalf a steady presence at his side -- when he hears the sound of hooves behind them.
When he turns, worried that something has managed to go wrong in the hours since they left Erebor, he finds Thorin barreling towards him on a pony, closely followed by Dwalin, Kili, & Fili.
All he can really do is stare, open mouthed, as the group speeds toward him. What could have possibly happened? A traitorous part of his heart whispers, he's come to ask you to stay, but he knows that's a lie. He'd been in Erebor for an entire season and Thorin had never once given him any indication that he wanted Bilbo to stay past the winter.
Bilbo knows it's a lie and so it makes no sense to him at all when Thorin swings himself off of the pony, strides forward, and the first words to come out of his mouth are, "Don't leave. Amrâlimê. I do not have the right to ask this of you but do not leave."
Thorin's eyes are very blue and Bilbo's heart is beating very loud. He dimly recognizes that his walking stick has slipped from his fingers but it seems rather unimportant in the face of Thorin's earnest words.
"I don't understand," he says, clinging to his composure by his fingertips. "Why would I stay?" What he doesn't say is, how could I not, when it's you asking, how could I not?
Thorin flinches but resolutely takes another step forward to grab his hand. Bilbo lets him, unwilling to deny Thorin anything even now.
"I do not have the right but I will ask regardless," Thorin says so quietly his words are in danger of being whipped away by the wind. "I would ask that you stay by my side so that I may court you. So that I would not have to know the bleakness of days spent without you by my side."
Bilbo stares. And stares. Oh, he thinks, wondering if this is what it feels like to fall in love all over again. It's a rock slide and a flood. It's the anxious twist of Thorin's mouth, the way the midday sun hits the blue of Thorin's eyes and leaves them dazzling.
"Oh," he says out loud. And then again. A wet sounding laugh bubbles up and out of his mouth. "Oh, of course you stupid, stupid dwarf. All you had to do was ask me."
Fili and Kili break out into cheers but Bilbo doesn't have eyes for anyone except Thorin and the smile that breaks across his face. When Thorin kisses him it's a thousand shades of summer and fresh spring rain, which is to say, it's home.
#ask meme#tolkien#the hobbit#bagginshield#atlanta's writing#does this still count as “micro”#i swear I tried to keep it short#thank you for this though#i've been trying to write all day and this was a nice warm up#Dwalin is there because he'll be damned if Thorin runs off without any guards thanks ever so much#also he's invested in this love story but he won't admit it#Fili and Kili are there because they'll be damned if they let their uncle chicken out again#they're very interested in their second uncle not leaving thanks#also they just refuse to miss the show#Gandalf was hoping this would happen and is very smug#yes the whole company bet on this
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Fluent Freshman - Part 44
PREV
The flight up to New York is a pleasant one.
The time in the airport itself had been less pleasant. Matt, as it turns out, is a firm believer in arriving with just enough time to check a bag, get through security, and get to the gate. He had claimed up, down, left, and right that he had it down to a science.
No matter how many times Smith had wondered about the scientific rigor of this 'science' he still kept it to himself. There was no need for Smith to voice his uncertainty with this plan because Kevin well and truly had it covered.
"You're giving us only an hour to check bags, get through security, and get to our gate?!" Kevin demands.
"Kevin, if you wanted to be there earlier then you could have asked Andrew to give yo a ride." Matt says. "We'll be fine."
"You know what Neil and Andrew get like when they have a long roadtrip ahead of them." Kevin argues.
"All lovey-dovey?" Nicky asks as Aaron makes a gagging sound.
"No, well yes, but no they always stop and buy all of the worst food too." Kevin reminds. "I'm just concerned about us missing our flight! We have barely enough time!" Kevin huffs crossing his arms.
"You're wrong anyways." Aaron says idly as he continues to text with Katelyn.
"How am I wrong?!" Kevin demands.
"We also have to park within that hour that Matt has left us with." Aaron says looking up from his phone.
"Matt!" Kevin squawks.
"It'll be fine." Matt reassures for the 2nd time.
"We all have checked bags!" Kevin exclaims, "What if we miss our flight?!" he wails.
"It'll be fine!" Matt repeats.
"No it won't!" Kevin exclaims.
---
It was fine.
The only real delays they met were at security.
Smith prided himself on being efficient in the security line. He has his watch off, his phone and ID secured in a zipped jacket pocket, his backpack and electronics in separate trays, and his shoes ready to be slipped off.
So he was shamed to have been the cause of the first delay when the TSA agent wouldn't wave Smith through the metal detector since she didn't realize he was there. That had been a whole anxiety attack and a half as the line had formed up behind him all wondering what the hold-up was.
Finally she seemed to startle as she realized that Smith had been standing there waiting and waved him through.
The other delay was that Kevin got patted down after he had forgotten to empty his 'emergency' water bottle.
It was probably for the best that they didn't have to be in the airport for that long. Every announcement that it was very important to not leave your bag unattended made him worry that with every blink somehow someone had slipped a bomb into his backpack.
While it was on his back.
As he was running with the rest of his friends to their gate.
"It just had to be the gate on the other end of the terminal." Aaron huffs.
"It would have been 100% perfect if someone hadn't left their water bottle in their bag despite the, let me check, 3,820 signs that said remove all liquids from your carry-ons!" Matt says as they continues to run.
"I said I forgot!" Kevin yells back from his spot at the front of the pack. Smith was under the distinct impression that Kevin was keeping pace with them since he had seen the Striker move much faster on the court and during warm-ups.
"We could have forgiven that!" Nicky pants, "Why did you have to slam the whole thing to prove that it was 'just water'?" he asks.
"Because I wanted to prove I wasn't a national security threat!" Kevin says. "I'll be going to the Olympics in a couple years and I can't have that on my record." he continues as he rounds a corner.
"What record?!" Smith asks suddenly worried that there was a record.
"Smithy, there's no record Kevin's just an idiot. An idiot who got patted down, tested for explosives, and had his carry-on searched." Nicky huffs.
"You don't know that there's not a record! The record everything nowadays!" Kevin huffs and their gate is in sight.
"Kevin, just shut up!" Aaron exclaims as they reach the line for their flight.
"Wait why aren't any of you getting shitty with Smiths?!" Kevin asks.
"His delay was like a minute and more importantly NOT HIS FAULT!" Nicky defends.
"He should have just walked through!" Kevin argues.
"Oh it's fine if he gets a record but not you?!" Aaron asks.
"So there is a record?!" Smith asks again.
They reach the line and the largely empty area around their gate is more than enough evidence that this was the final boarding. Smith breathed a sigh of relief as he took his place in line behind Nicky.
"The lines pretty slow, I'm going to go get a water." Kevin says and before any of them can say anything he is off towards a busy looking Newsweek store.
"I cannot believe him." Aaron huffs.
"All that water he just drank and is about to drink? He has lost window seat privileges." Matt pants wiping sweat from his brow.
"Agreed." Nicky says.
Smith laughed between panting breaths. His stomach hurt a bit from the stress of running but it was fine.
They get on the plane without Kevin and head to their seats. Most of the overhead storage is taken up at this point but Smith slides his bag under the middle seat in front of him after Matt
In the end, Kevin barely made it onto the plane in time since he got caught up in deciding on water. "You're in my seat." Kevin says as the only man not yet seated.
"I am not about to spend this flight getting up every 2 minutes because you have to pee." Matt says, "Abby didn't used to need to take all those pitstops when we're on the bus." Matt adds.
"I hate the aisle, the cart could hit my legs." Kevin argues.
"Then you can sit in the middle if Smith's willing to move." Matt says.
"You can have the middle Kevin." Smith offers actually preferring the aisle seat since then he doesn't have to ask anyone to move for him.
"I hate the middle seat, there is no room." Kevin crosses his arms.
"Smith is like only 3 inches shorter than you and he's not complaining." Matt continues.
"It's an important 3 inches."
"I bet it is."
"Nicky, are you serious?"
"What?!"
"There is an uninvolved member of the public, right there."
"He's wearing headphones it's fine!"
---
It's fine.
Eventually Kevin takes the middle seat if for no other reason than Matt stubbornly pretends to go to sleep but absolutely does not want the aisle seat either.
Smith gives it up and ends up with his own preferred seat while Kevin pointedly takes both of the arm rests, as is his right. The plane ride progresses smoothly from there. Smith has always liked flying. There is always a sense that the second that he gets onto the plane and the door closes he has absolutely zero control over what happens afterwards.
That is a nice comfort.
He pays attention to the safety briefing, finds his nearest exit, and that he should secure the bag over his own face before securing it on Kevin's.
He puts his headphones on and tries not to think about the anxiety of meeting the 'girls'.
He has heard much about the 'girls'.
Allison Reynolds. Allison was someone who's legacy existed even outside of the team. Smith didn't know much about fashion but a Reynolds bet remained a solid practice within Palmetto. She was, undeniably, absolutely gorgeous and if Kevin was to be believed 'kind of a bitch'. Nicky had swatted his arm but had said that it was not entirely inaccurate but like 'in the best way'.
Dan Wilds. He met Dan. Dan was nice. Also, if Matt was to be believed, the best human to ever walk the planet earth. The reason the sun rose in the east and set in the west. The gravitational pull that held the universe together. If Andrew is to be believed, she's fine.
Renee Walker. Renee was the one who taught Andrew how to use knives. His friend has talked warmly of her, in the way that Andrew talks warmly about anyone which is mentioning them at all. She was the one that Smith was the most anxious about meeting.
Kevin turns his nose up at the ginger ale that Smith gets but he's allowed these now per his actual doctors orders.
1 hour left until arriving at JFK.
He hopes this ginger ale is enough to calm his stomach since he's still not allowed Pepto.
MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU
NEXT
#Fluent Freshman AU#Oh boy it feels nice to write this again#If I were to name this chapter something else it would be 'Smiths on a Plane'#MAN IT'S BEEN A MONTH#Moved#got my place painted#got new appliances because my old ones were older than me#Developed a life long hatred for whoever designed the barstools I bought from WayFair#It was not just what I needed#Anyway we're back#Smith's on a plane#About to meet the GIRLS#Kevin almost had to call Andreil to have them come back#There may have been some autographs given to the staff to be able to re-open the door for him.#He wanted mineral water and wanted to be selective on the minerals#I don't mean to write him like this but every time I write him he is like this#Matt is based on my sister in this regard with 'exact science' meanwhile I show up 4 hours early to a flight#Like no checked bag I'm TSA pre-checked#I have never missed a flight and I fear what i'd do if I did#Matt may be a bit of a Gomez for Dan but who can blame him#Next up Smith actually meets the girls#Fluent Freshman - 44#AFTG#AFTG OC#AFTG AU#Palmetto State Foxes#AFTG Fic
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♡♡♡
#*pokes my head in* hi#I'm taking a hiatus from my main on Twitter#I guess I'm only kinda taking one here? not sure yet#Tumblr has always been a safe and welcoming place for me for the most part so I'm trying to be a little more open here ♡ ;w;#so to anyone reading these tags#I've been going through a very rough patch in terms of fandom/personal life/XIV Twitter/the wolgraha sphere in general#Mainly my perception on social media#but since I started my hiatus from public twitter I've been doing SO much better mentally#been writing and gposing every day and it feels nice to create again#creating for myself and my own very specific tastes feels good so I will keep doing that! :)#so here you go! some bathtime AedRaha#I'm very in love with AedRaha and always will be#thank you for reading these tags if you did <3 sorry if I was a bit vague lol I've had a lot going on lately#wolgraha#wol x g'raha tia#aedric vaillencourt#elezen#gpose#my poses#g'raha tia#AedRaha
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This is me, trying to preemptively soothe myself for whatever will be said about Daniel in this incoming race week. This got longer than I was expecting, it's about 3.5k, so it's on ao3 too if you prefer to read it there.
Daniel wakes up to the feeling of Max sliding in bed behind him. He smells like Daniel's body wash and his skin is still warm and damp when he tucks himself close against Daniel's back, knees slotting in behind his.
Still too asleep to find a way to work his voice for a proper hello, all Daniel manages is a sleepy sigh, but Max doesn't seem to want to break the silence either, squeezing the arm he sneaked around Daniel's waist in his own quiet greeting, smushing his face against the sweaty back of Daniel's neck.
The room is still fully dark, a combination of the blackout curtains and the fact that it's still not even dawn, so Daniel is happy to let the sound of Max's breathing pull him back under, until he realises two things.
First, Max is still curled up close behind him, sweat already condensing between them, not rolling away like he usually does, complaining about Daniel's mound of blankets, which piles up especially high when Max isn't there.
And second, Max is supposed to be in England.
Suddenly much more awake, he opens his eyes again, trying to make his sluggish limbs coordinate to allow him to turn around, but Max squeezes him harder, keeping him in place, shaking his head slightly, nose dragging against Daniel's skin.
"Hey," Daniel mumbles, raspy and heavy with sleepy. Max doesn't answer.
"Max," he tries again, feeling more and more awake, as confusion and worry start to mix in his stomach.
Max, stubborn in this like in everything else, doesn't budge. His steady breath is damp on Daniel's nape.
For a moment, Daniel considers the pros and cons of trying to have this conversation now, trying to turn around and make Max answer his questions, but finally he decides this can probably wait for the morning. If this isn't a dream, Max will probably still be there, and it will be easier to figure out what happened between this morning, when Max had facetimed him on his way to the factory, and now, Max tense and too warm in his bed.
So he lets it go, intertwining his fingers with Max's and sighing again, feeling Max's acknowledgment of his momentary retreat in the way his muscles finally uncoil, relaxing against him.
Silence falls again in the room, only broken up by the whirring of Daniel's white noise machine and the buzzing of far away traffic, LA's neverending lullaby, but neither of them falls asleep for a long time.
The next time Daniel wakes up the room is still dark, in that unique way it gets when it's light outside and his blackout curtains are doing their job, and his bed is empty. For a second he wonders if it had just been a dream, a weirdly realistic fantasy conjured from the aching spot in his heart that is missing Max all the time. But he can smell Max's scent on his skin, even hidden underneath his own body wash, and the sheets beside him are still just barely warm.
And when he reaches the kitchen, still rubbing sleep from his eyes and tugging on a hoodie he had picked up from the floor, Max is sitting on a stool, very much not a dream.
"Morning," Daniel greets him, trying to figure out if asking what are you doing here right away is going to get him an answer or an annoyed Max.
He doesn't get the chance to try though, because Max only smiles at him, bright even if pinched at the corners, before pointing at his phone and at the earbuds in his ears.
Almost done he mouths. He pulls a face, exaggerated and ridiculous, but so paper thin Daniel can still perfectly see the annoyance behind it.
Daniel nods, joining him at the counter, sitting on the stool next to him and smiling as Max scoots closer, intertwining their ankles.
He wishes he had grabbed his own phone from the nightstand to keep himself busy, or maybe to order food, since he's not sure on what's in the fridge, but he's feeling too lazy to get back up, so he resorts to laying his head down on the countertop and look up at Max's face.
His mouth is in a hard line as he nods along to whatever they're telling him, distractedly running a hand along his unshaven jaw. He looks tired, and annoyed, and beautiful, and Daniel missed him so much it feels like even sitting like this, close and touching, is not enough to soothe the gnawing pit in his chest.
Max rolls his eyes, then looks down at Daniel and smiles again, reaching over to brush a hand through his hair, the motion smooth and practiced, the same he uses when petting his cats. Daniel fights hard to not close his eyes.
"Yes, change my schedule, email it to me, whatever. I have to go."
Daniel frowns at the snappiness of Max's tone, watches as his expression grows even stormier at whatever he's been told. Something tells him Max was not exactly free to come here.
"Yes, fine. Bye."
If Max had a flip phone, Daniel is pretty sure he would have just snapped it closed. As it is though, he just swipes his finger on the screen and drops his earbuds on the counter, pressing his hands against his eyes with a sigh.
"I'm going to throw out a wild guess, and say you're not a happy bunny this morning," Daniel says, hoping to ease some of the tension from Max's shoulders.
He partially succeeds, as Max does drop his hands, rolling his eyes at him, before laying his head down on the counter too, so that they're staring at each other from the same point of view.
"I am happy to be here," Max says, slow and precise, the way he gets when he's trying to correctly convey his feelings, "but the team is not."
Daniel hums, bumping their knees together. He doesn't really care if the team is happy or not, but he knows being at the receiving end of a scolding like the one Max must have just gotten is not fun.
"They're not very happy with me lately," Max adds a bit ruefully, closing his eyes. His cheek is smushed against the marble, making the bags under his eye disappear a little, the other one much darker in comparison.
"Flew away from many sponsor events then?" Daniel asks, again trying make Max smile. This time it works only halfway, a corner of Max's mouth ticking up, the other kept in place by his cheek and the counter.
"Just a couple. They..." Max stops, a hand coming up to tug at his ear, fiddle with his hair. Daniel wants to grab his fingers, press his mouth against Max's forehead and learn each one of his thoughts like that.
Instead, he has to speak. Boring.
"Why are you here, Maxy?" he asks, because he can't not. He wonders if he should add that he is happy that Max is there, hopes that he doesn't have to, that Max would know anyway.
"I missed you."
Simple, easy, deadly.
Daniel feels his heart do a weird stuttering skip, lungs squeezing, trying to accommodate the surge of love suddenly flooding his chest.
"I missed you too," he chokes out, giving up on resisting the urge and leaning forward, bumping his nose against Max's, their knees knocking together, looking for a kiss.
Max tastes like orange juice, Daniel probably tastes like sleep, and it's awkward because of the uncomfortable position. It's the best thing Daniel has done this whole week.
"They briefed me," Max murmurs, lips still brushing together, sounding like it pains him to speak. A part of Daniel wants to go back to kissing, but he can feel they are now getting to the real reason why Max is there, and doesn't want to stop it.
Not that he doesn't believe Max missed him, Max never lies, never says something sweet if he doesn't mean it, but he knows there must be another reason why he looks like this, instead of just happy to be with Daniel. And even if some part of him knows this will probably not be an easy conversation, he also suspects it's one they need to have.
"On what to say about you."
Daniel jerks back a little before he can really think about it, the words stinging sharply.
He knows it makes sense. He knows he now basically is an ongoing PR disaster for the team, and a part of him enjoys it, but the reminder of it still hurts. And it hurts to think about Max, sitting somewhere across the world, getting told what to say when asked about him.
Max's eyes are open again now, but his expression is carefully blank, just studying whatever Daniel's face is doing, and Daniel suddenly hates it all, pain and rage swelling once again inside him.
He's been doing well, trying his best not to think about it. He's been keeping himself busy, keeping himself with people, refusing to let the feelings dwell and drag him under, but it's unavoidable with Max right there, talking about it.
And something must show on his face, because he sees something flicker under Max's blank expression, and then he's moving back too, out of the space where they were still sharing air, taking his head off the counter with a wince.
For a second, Daniel thinks about staying where he is, neck starting to twinge painfully, and letting Max say whatever he's going to say, probably some kind of apology, then an excuse, and then letting him leave. He thinks about letting Max think that for Daniel it is worse to have him here, painful reminder of everything he's not going to get anymore, than have him gone, aching pit of absence in his stomach. Thinks about where all of that would lead.
He straightens too.
His wince is probably identical to Max's, his neck aching and sore from the awkward position, and he knows that normally it would make Max smile, it would make them both crack a joke about it. But now Max is too busy trying to hide what he's feeling, wanting to calibrate it on whatever Daniel is feeling, to joke about old age or something, and Daniel hates it.
He grabs Max's arm, pretending he doesn't see Max's barely there flinch, pretending it doesn't send a new wave of hurt through him, and leads him out of the kitchen, to the couch. Max follows him quietly, trustingly, not even asking where they're going, what is happening. Daniel hates it.
He lays down on the couch, tugging Max on top of him. A part of him wishes they had done this last night, when they were close and aided by the dark, but he knows that, as much as he doesn't like it, this is probably better. He doesn't want to have this conversation more than once if possible, so it's better this way, something they'll both remember clearly.
Max is still tense on top of him, careful, but he relaxes a little as Daniel winds his arms around his waist, tugging him closer, the familiar weight of him on top of him comforting.
It's only when they're properly settled that he lets out a breath, and he forces himself to face this head on.
"What did they tell you to say?"
He's proud of how steady and neutral his voice sounds, the swirling mess of emotions inside him nowhere to be found.
For a long moment, Max doesn't answer. His hair is barely brushing against Daniel's chin, and he can feel where Max's chest is expanding as he breathes, pressing against him.
"I am not going to do it," Max finally says, voice quiet but sure. "I told them, I am not."
Daniel hums, not even tempted to doubt him.
"What did they say?" he asks again, wanting to know, wanting Max to tell him.
"That you knew." Ouch. "That you were not performing." Ouch. "That this was the best choice for the team, and I am excited to see what Liam can do." Ouch.
He's not surprised Max wouldn't say any of this, he's more surprised the PR team would even try to make him say this, but it still hurts to know that this is how they are going to spin the story.
"Excited, uh?" is all he manages to say, slightly choked.
Max pushes himself up on one elbow, struggling against Daniel's hold on his waist, to glare up at him, eyes steely and fierce and red rimmed.
"I am not going to do it," he repeats, forceful and sincere. "They are wrong and they are stupid, and I am not going to sit and lie and..."
He breaks off, pursing his lips and pressing them firmly together, eyes shiny. Daniel loves him so much it hurts.
"I know I can't tell the truth," Max says slowly with a grimace, voice breaking under all the feelings he's trying to keep at bay, "but I am not going to lie."
Daniel wants to kiss him again. He wants to tug him close and kiss him and get lost in each other and in love until everything outside the door doesn't matter anymore. He wants to push all this away until it isn't hurting either of them.
Instead, he gently pushes Max down on his chest again, one hand on his neck and one on the small of his back, and breathes.
"You told them that?" he asks.
Max's nod drags the fabric of his hoodie against his skin, bunching it up.
"I said, I will be polite and I will say nice things about Liam, and about Yuki and Checo, but I will not say that shit about you. I am not fixing this for them."
Daniel wonders what the Daniel of 10 years ago would have said, if he got told that in 10 years time Max would still be by his side, fiercely on his side.
"Thank you, Maxy," is all he can say, his feelings to messy and big to try and put them into words without spilling them all over the room, making clean up a bitch he doesn't want to deal with today.
Max nods again once, rough and too quick, dislodging the hand Daniel still has on his neck.
"They were not happy," he says, squirming a little until Daniel puts his hand back. "They told me there will be consequences," he snaps, slightly derisive, "so I told them I can do consequences too, and left."
Well, that explains the scolding.
"You left?" Daniel asks, not disbelieving, but still incredulous somehow.
"I didn't want to be there anymore," Max says, as if that explains it all. It probably does, for him.
For Daniel, it's yet another confirmation of which side Max is on. Not that he needed one more, but it's still nice to have. Nice to know that even in something like this, something this big and catastrophic, Max will choose him, over and over. The flood of love is back, and this time Daniel has to tip his head back and breathe, trying not to let it out through his eyes.
"How angry are they?" he asks, when he feels like his voice isn't tangled up in a knot in his throat anymore.
Max shrugs awkwardly, trapped between Daniel's body and Daniel's hands.
"Angry."
It makes Daniel snort despite himself, the sound slightly wet.
"Can't have everything their way, I guess."
He can imagine it, Max storming out of a meeting room, leaving behind a mix of perplexed and angry people, knowing they can't really punish him in any meaningful way that isn't making him do more sponsor events. It's a very satisfying thought.
And then Max takes a breath, pushes himself up on an elbow again, and decides to shift Daniel's world once again.
"Do you want me to leave?" he asks. Then, probably because he sees Daniel starting to frown, he adds "not here. The team."
It knocks the breath straight out of Daniel's lungs.
He blinks, unable to process what Max has just said.
"You...what?" he stutters, shifting back a little, trying to look at Max's face better without straining his neck.
He's almost expecting Max to laugh, to take it back, to crack a joke. But Max is deadly serious, the same unshakeable firmness Daniel knows from years of debriefs and arguments on his face.
"I want to win," Max says, not taking his eyes away from Daniel's. "I want to race, and I want to win, for a little while longer. But I don't like what they have been doing, what they did to you. I don't like what the team has become. I don't like what the sport is becoming. So if you want me to leave, if it would help that I leave too, I will leave at the end of the year."
Daniel can't breathe. There's loyalty, and there's Max being loyal, and then there's this. He doesn't know what to do with any of this.
"You can't...I can't ask you to leave." His voice sounds distant to his own ears, so overwhelmed it doesn't even feel his.
"If you want me to, if it would make you hurt knowing I am still racing with them, if it would make you angry, or hate me..."
"I am not going to hate you," Daniel interrupts. He doesn't know many things right know, but he knows that. He's suddenly torn between wanting to tug Max close again and wanting to keep looking at him while they talk about this, and settles on bringing his hand up to Max's cheek, relishing in the way he immediately leans into it.
"I don't want you to stop racing because of me," he says, another thing he's sure of.
"I would, if you asked," Max tells him, easy and steady, as if it's not monumental. Max Verstappen, willing to stop racing, for him.
"I won't."
Max nods, then breaks eye contact, suddenly looking shakier, unsure.
"You can't..." he takes a breath, bottom lip jutting out. Daniel's heart is beating too fast in his chest. "You can't hate me for it. I asked, and you said no, you can't hate me for it, now."
Daniel gives in, pressing Max to his chest again, bending his head to press his lips against his hair.
"I won't," he promises, voice swollen and heavy. "I won't hate you, Max. I won't even be angry at you, not for this. It was never on you."
Something that Daniel hadn't even noticed seems to uncoil between Max's shoulders and he slumps against Daniel's chest with a shuddering sigh, arms coming around Daniel's waist to hold him tighter.
Daniel wonders for how long Max had been carrying the weight of this misplaced guilt, of this fear. Wonders how he hadn't seen it before.
"If you want to leave for you," he carefully says, giving himself time to properly word what he wants to say, thinking about retirement jokes, and about much more serious retirement conversations, "you are free to leave. I will not be angry about that either."
Max shivers as he nods.
"I don't know if I want to," he mumbles, half lost in Daniel's hoodie. His hair is soft against Daniel's lips.
"You don't have to decide right now," Daniel tells him, suddenly and strongly grateful they're having this conversation like this, and not through a phone. Or worse, not having it at all. "I am not going to be your WAG, but I am not going to be angry either."
There's many things Daniel has to work through, to figure out. The past few weeks have been hard, some days spent in bed, too sad and angry and betrayed to feel like getting up, others spent doing things, feeling like all of this is just the start o something better. He is still confused, and a bit lost, but this he knows. Max he knows.
"I love you," he says, because it's the easiest way he has to promise forever without saying it, the word too big for a moment like this.
"I love you too," Max says, easy and unwavering, as if he wasn't shaking in Daniel's arms a few moments ago, as if the words are a steady enough pillar to sustain the weight of the crumbling word around them.
And maybe they are. Maybe they are.
The conversation isn't over, he knows it. What Max has said is too big to just let it go like this, especially if he really is considering retirement. And he wants to know when Max has to go back, what the team has told him, what his punishment for leaving like this will be. But for now, Daniel presses his lips again Max's hair again and breathes out, feeling like they have pushed past something, undone a particularly nasty knot.
And for everything else they have time.
#i have not reread this i dont know if it makes sense#it's taken me a whole fucking day to put down in words this mess and i'm not happy with it but i needed to write /something/#i hate that i've been too tired and stressed to write or even read much lately#might write kitten knight max tomorrow to balance this out but no promises#if this sucks or make no sense just don't tell me be nice please#my writing#maxiel#typos stop being real if you stop believing in them#once again posting this at a fuckass hour so that nobody ends up seeing it whops#it was not intentional it's not my fault i can only write after 1 am
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Jennifer nearly jumped into the water / and she was tired like no one's ever been tired
#myart#wesley crusher#jennifer is on her way home. then she remembers her life is like a nightmare!!!!#geniunelyyyy thinking about the post-first duty years of wesleys life is so miserable.#he killed his best friend and ruined his friendship with everyone else and lost picards respect (the only thing he ever cared about)#and then you just. dont hear about him at all for 2 years.#trying to capture the extremely specific existential dread of knowing something is deeply wrong in your life but not being able to change.#JUST THE LOOK OF A YOUNG MAN WHOS PROFOUNDLY UNHAPPY AND DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHY!!!#the quote from that novel. where he says “jaxa knew better than the rest of us the only way to escape this thing was to die”. ITS SICK!!#like leaving starfleet was not even on his radar until journeys end. he didnt even consider that as an option. so what could he do.#man. theres a reason for the prominently placed golden gate bridge. jennifer nearly jumped into the water.... cuz she got no way to get out#the photos in the bg are him and picard. jack. two of joshie (the ski tripppppp) him and bev and the entire nova squadron up top#do i think he would have his room this nicely decorated while horribly depressed NO!!! it was just for the compostion of the piece#like trying so hard to keep up appearances. being surrounded by pictures of all the people who love him and still not able to get out.#some of the papers lying around the desk are like. intended to be letters to bev that he just gave up on writing.#OKAY sorry i just wanted to finish this before i leave tomorrow. i spent such a stupid amount of time on this. never again#you people should always talk to me forever about my friend wesley . im soooo normal. lies facedown on floor#OH AND THE VERY SPECIFIC. EMOTION. LYING ON BED IN FULL UNIFORM. WE'VE ALLLL BEEN THERE.
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