#it wasn't incredibly good‚ wasn't incredibly bad‚ it was just 'eh'. it was alright

[somelazyassartist]

I do have a few minor complaints about how they adapted the Sazed scene (don't know why they felt the need to change his name? But he's Sazed to me I don't care) but they're pretty hugely drowned out by how well they did Merle and Magnus' offers so I won't go into my very mild complaints now, maybe I'll talk about it later if I can ever get the time or energy to do my own version of that scene but eh, it was okay but nothing spectacular I don't think, very much drowned out by how good Magnus and Merle's were. That's pretty much my opinion on it, it was alright but didn't really stick out to me either way

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

You'll always have my heart

Every year on her birthday, without fail, she would receive a gift from an anonymous secret admirer. She's gotten necklaces, chocolates, flowers, each gift sweeter and more extravagant than the last. This year, when she opened the box that was tied with a red ribbon, she shrieked and dropped it to the ground. - by @unboundprompts

@vampirefilmlover

-----------------------------------

"Do you have any plans for tomorrow?" Mina looked at me with a sly smile. I shrugged. "Eh, after uni I'd probably just buy a cake and rent a movie. Why?"

"Dammit, Rose, you can't celebrate your birthday like that! No, tomorrow I'll pick you up at eight, and we're going out."

"But-"

"No," her look turned stern. "You are going to party. You only turn twenty-three once!"

I sighed with a smile, nodding. There was no talking Mina out of this, and maybe just mage,it would be fun. Right? I mean, parties and bars and discos weren't really my scene, but then again, maybe getting out of my comfort zone would be good. Maybe I'd meet someone cute and get laid? Yeah, this plan wasn't too bad, I supposed.

Still, there had been a reason why I didn't really want to go out. Ever since I turned seventeen, every single birthday, I'd received an anonymous gift. The first time, it was a necklace. It had been made of silver and had a tiny bat-shaped charm on it. I didn't wear it often, but I absolutely loved it. When I turned eighteen, I got a set of ruby earrings and a bouquet with dark red roses. Every single gift came with a single note:

For Rose

This year, I had wanted to stay home. I had wanted to see who the person was that had given me those wonderful gifts. Besides the jewellery, I had gotten luxurious chocolates, leather-bound copies of my favourite books - how that person knew what my favourite books were, I didn't dare to ask - and at one point they'd even given me concert tickets to my favourite band. The gifts were huge, incredibly lovely, and thoughtful - especially since the giver had always been anonymous.

-----

He didn't need to look at a calendar to know it was almost time again. Her birthday. She didn't know him yet. She had seen him on the boardwalk, of course, but they hadn't talked. She was always leaving in a hurry the second it became crowded, and she always seemed to be in the company of her best friend. Still, Paul didn't mind watching from afar. Not yet anyway. She was his, or would become his in the near future - so he could wait until she found her own way to him. And if it took too long, he could always interfere anyways.

Over the years, he had given her many things, from small trinkets to bigger gifts. This year, he wanted to give her something that showed her a bit about who he was. What he was, what he was like - and something that would show her what she could potentially mean to him.

The other boys had looked surprised when he said he'd go out on his own tonight to feed, but they soon caught his drift. During the feeding, he would find the most perfect gift.

-----

"Happy Birthday!" Mina grinned as she threw my front door open. "Are you ready to go?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Where are we going, I don't really do well-"

"In crowds, yes, I know. We'll go to a small bar downtown. I invited just some friends from uni. There won't be a big crowd, and I let them all swear not to break out in song." She grinned as she saw my relieved expression, realising how much I hated being sung to on my birthday. Taking a deep breath, I nodded, grabbing my bag and heading for the door. It would be alright, maybe even fun - and if I didn't go now, I'd never leave the house at all.

The bar was nice and small, as Mina had promised. Strings of fake flowers hung around the door and were wrapped across the bars on the ceiling. Some dreamy popsongs were playing on the radio, and the light inside was dimmed but cosy. Yeah, this was a good place. As I ordered some shots for all of us, we got talking. We played some rounds of never have I ever, some truth or dare - and I felt absolutely perfect. A bit tired, sure, but this was good. It was fun.

"Will you get home safely?" Alex looked at me as he was about to walk to his car, being followed by Robin and Sam. I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, it's not too far. Besides, Mina has to go the same way."

"Alright. Happy birthday, Ro!" He stepped in his car, dragging the others along when they wanted to burst out in a happy birthday song. I laughed as he pushed them in the car, and waved as they drove off. Mina stood next to me, looking rather satisfied with herself.

"You had fun tonight."

"Yeah, I did."

"Good. Now, let's get you home. You said something about cake?"

I nodded. "Can I get a raincheck for that?"

"Tired?"

"Very. I just want to get home and dive straight into my bed."

Mina chuckled. That's how we finally ended up at my door, smiling and laughing. She said her goodbyes, and as I walked to the front porch, I noticed something standing on my doormat. I walked closer and saw that it was a box wrapped in shiny blue paper. Once again it held only one note.

For Rose.

I picked it up, surprised by the sudden weight. The box definitely looked lighter than it was. I walked inside, locking the door behind me. The box ended up on my kitchen counter as I decided to grab a piece of cake before opening it.

It was only when I put the cardboard box with cake back into the fridge that I noticed that my gift seemed to be leaking. A slimey, red substance formed on the bottom of the box. Weird. It was sticky and had a strange coppery smell. Quickly, I tore the paper off. I tore the top of the box off and threw it behind me on the ground.

I peered inside the box.

I screamed.

A heart. A human heart. An actual real human heart that was still bleeding laid in the box. Someone had given me a heart. Someone must have stolen that heart. Did - did the giver kill? Is that the message? That - that I'm next? Or that he can kill me anytime? That this is the beginning of some strange blackmail plot? Oh god - there was an actual human heart on my counter and -

I ran to the bathroom, throwing up in the toilet.

Forget cake, forget a joyful reunion with my bed - I needed help. I needed someone to come in and say, "Ma'am, you're right. This is absolutely insane. Don't worry, we'll take it from here, and we'll make sure that no one will ever deliver a human heart to you again."

I didn't notice how much time passed, as I leant against the cold tiles of my bathroom. I tried to calm myself down, but every time I thought I was calm, another wave of nausea hit me. It wasn't until my doorbell rang that I realised I couldn't just stay on the ground and that I had to get up.

-----

Paul had thought it was the most romantic thing he could do - while also conveying to her what he was and could be. Giving someone an actual heart, telling them not only are you mine but I am yours and I'd give my heart to you? It was the shit chick's loved, right?

But when he heard her screams, heard her get sick, heard how she cried and whimpered, and was close to breaking down in panic again, he knew that he needed to help her. So, he flew down to her front door and did the only thing he could do without being a total creep. He rang the doorbell.

It took a while, but after a couple of minutes Rose - his Rose - opened the door. "Yeah?"

"Hi, I'm Paul. My bike broke down and I was wondering if I could maybe use your phone?"

Rose nodded, not really answering. When she stepped aside, he assumed it was an invitation and stepped forward.

"I'm Rose, by the way. Phones in the kitchen, just eh - I got a horrifying package, and I don't think I'm capable of cleaning it up, so just please don't freak out?"

"Don't worry, doll. I can help if you want."

"It's not gross in the way you think," Rose mumbled, pointing him towards the kitchen. Seeing how much the heart had leaked, he could sort of understand her reaction to it. Also, he realised now that being human meant she had other standards than a vampire. Where another vampire would have thought this gift to be cute and thoughtful and heartwarming, he now realised that for a human, it was none of these things.

"Do you have some trashbags?"

"Yeah, the cabinet on your left. Why, what are you-?"

"Cleaning this up for you. It's probably just a stupid prank or something."

"Sending a human heart is a stupid prank?" She sounded panicked. He knew he had to be quick.

"It probably is a pig heart - it won't make it any less creepy, but at least it doesn't come with murder?"

He saw her relax a little. "I didn't think about that. I mean, I am still horrified, but in this case, I'm just really glad it is not human."

Paul smiled, finishing the clean-up. As he brought the trash out, he realised that he still had to make that phone call if he wanted his story to be consistent. So, he dialled the video store and told Max that his bike had broken down. He hung up and was glad to see that Rose had calmed down a little.

"Will you be alright?"

She nodded, biting her lip a little. "I think so. Thanks, for helping. You didn't have to."

"Yeah, I did. It's only kind, and I didn't want your birthday to be ruined by this."

"How did you know it's my birthday?"

He just pointed at the cake standing on tne counter, that had Ha and Birt written on it.

"Do you want some cake, as a thanks for helping?"

Paul shook his head. "I would like a date, though. Let's get some Chinese tomorrow."

Rose didn't know why, but without thinking, she agreed. "Pick me up at eight?"

[jugheadvarchoni]

Ranking my Top 10 Riverdale relationships

Buckle up for this one. Got some hot takes for ya, and I yap for too long about my favorites. I also just want to preface this by saying every single relationship in this show has its faults, like relationships irl. And Riverdale in general didn’t do a great job with writing friendships specifically. So a lot of the friendships on this list don’t have a ton of material. A lot of my own feelings and head canons therefore play a big part.

Once again, these are MY opinions! :)

10. Jughead & Tabitha

None of Jughead’s romantic relationships did that much for me. Tabitha was the only where I was like “eh, that’s fine”. Their chemistry wasn’t anything to write home about, but they were sweet & I think Tabitha is a good character. They were done SO dirty in S7 tho…

9. Archie & Reggie (platonic)

This is mainly for the S7 of it all. The threesome was NOT it, but their bromance was so fcking adorable and hilarious in S7. I did love the rivalry they had in previous seasons too.

8. Toni & Tabitha (platonic)

Ughhhh what an underrated and healthy friendship. Tabitha in general deserved more/better, but what we did get with these two was awesome. Easily of the BEST dynamics in the S5/S6 era of the show.

7. Betty & Veronica (platonic)

Beronica. SOOOOO iconic. One of the most iconic duos in comics. But… I think a lot of their relationship was very one-sided, with Veronica often being a much better friend to Betty. Mainly in S2-S6. Their closeness fell off after S1 and then S7 they kinda rekindled it, but also went romantic with it. Which, personally, I wasn’t the biggest fan of. I felt like the opportunity to properly explore that (and not have it feel tacked on) passed a long time ago. But alas, they are incredibly iconic and I loved them in S1.

6. Kevin & Clay

Clay, the love interest Kevin always DESERVED. Loving, supportive, kind, it’s just too bad it took them until S7 to give us this kind of relationship for Kevin. And between Clay's social justice & art, he wasn't just a one-dimensional love interest either. One of only TWO canonically confirmed endgames on the show, I enjoyed watching their relationship grow over the final season.

5. Jughead & Cheryl (platonic)

ALRIGHT, hear me out! This one may be a little niche, and we didn’t get that much of them, but I wanted more SOOOOO BADLY. They are so very opposite in many, many ways, but that’s part of why their dynamic could’ve been so interesting and fun. I think their scenes in 7x18 are very indicative of the kind of hilarity that could’ve ensued from their friendship. Even though they fight and are snarky with one another, there was almost always a mutual respect and trust between them. Also, the fact that there is 0 chance for romance & they’re two of my absolute favorites just makes it even more appealing to me lol.

4. Veronica & Cheryl (platonic)

The friendship Veronica always deserved imo! Yeah, it may be one of the more complicated ones. But they’re two sides of the same coin, who went through SO much together. Nick, the maple rum business, Veronica helping Toni save Cheryl from Quiet Mercy, etc. I feel like they were often very supportive without having to be so outright about it. They have had a very intense rivalry and some not so great moments (Cheryl slut shaming the girls, Veronica included), but at the end of the day their dynamic is so interesting and their pasts/families are so similarly dark and messed up that I think they could’ve been the best friendship on the show.

3. Archie & Jughead (platonic)

Ohhhhhh my best boys! I’ve always found them to be the real heart and soul of the source material. Like most of the friendships on the show, they definitely dropped off in later seasons, they went through so much, supported each other through so much, that it’s hard to not keep rooting for them, even if the writers let their romantic relationships get in the way of showcasing their great friendship. Despite fights and disagreements, they always come back together to support the other when they need it. Like Archie having Jughead stay at his house when Jug was living at school, when Jughead followed Archie on the run, or when Archie stood up for Jughead against Reggie. They will always be my favorite Riverdale friendship and I wish they hadn’t been another victim of the rvd writers in the later seasons.

2. Archie & Veronica

My beautiful Varchie… They were my very first ship on the show, I was rooting for them from the very beginning. Their blooming romance in S1 specifically had so much heart, that their scenes still stand out as some of the cutest and most sincere moments on the show for me. She was there by his side when Fred was shot, they were both there for each other with everything Hiram put them through, even when Archie was imprisoned. They are over-hated to an insane degree, and tend to be reduced to being “all about sex” for a lot of fans, which I just find kind of… gross. They’re emotional, young, consensually physical together, both attractive people, so what’s wrong with that? All that doesn’t mean they don’t have a genuine connection.

I think Archie really shows her that she can and deserves to love and be loved by someone else, that love isn’t about money or power but about support & respect. Likewise, Archie gets strength from her, he’s introduced into a whole new world, one that helps him grow and figure out what he wants from life. He brings her down to earth and she teaches him to reach for the stars. I think growing together and learning from one another is such a beautiful and integral part of any relationship. Also imo, they have chemistry in freakin SPADES. Ugh I just really love them together. They deserved to be endgame, to find their way back to each other and moved to California to experience a new way of life together.

1. Cheryl & Toni

MY BELOVED CHONI. Was there really any other option here? Their love story is truly one of the most heartwarming and beautiful ones I’ve ever seen on tv. Enemies to lovers to exes to starcrossed lovers across all space and time. True soulmates, meant to find each other time and time again in every universe. Despite every relationship being turned on its head in S7, Choni were the only consistent ones. Only wanted each other. And even though they were estranged for 7 years and went through crazy (sometimes toxic shit) in high school, they never fell out of love. They came out of it all stronger and better for it all, even. Before S7, their relationship fell to the wayside, as did almost every other pairing (*sideyes Bughead*), but everything we got still showed them to be incredibly supportive, loving, and loyal.

Toni was there for Cheryl every step of the way, she helped her come out, she made her see that she’s worthy of love. That she is more than what her family abused her into thinking. And Cheryl had her personal issues and didn’t always handle it well, but she ALWAYS had Toni’s best interests at heart. Always. She gave Toni the family and life she’d always craved, Cheryl gave HER a kind of love she didn’t realize she deserved. A bombastic, passionate love full of mutual support. They were there for each other, without hesitation. And S7 just showed that they had all that AND had grown and learned from their past mistakes. S7 showed Toni having more agency, with Cheryl right there to actively support her in everything she chose to do. Not to mention, Madelaine & Vanessa’s chemistry was outta this world insane… like… whoa.

One of the ONLY endgames on the show! They got their happy ending, found a life together full of art and love. They lived full gorgeous sexy lives with their son Dale, and are now together forever in the Sweet hereafter. Iconic. Beautiful. SOULMATES. 🫶

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

list eight shows for your followers to get to know you! thanks for the tag @garethsedwards ! I love never shutting up about the same five shows 😂 (also The West Wing didn’t make my list but deserves a honourable mention!)

The Americans: to no one’s surprise. If I could only name one, there wouldn’t even be a contest. This show is SO GOOD. The drama is so layered and so beautifully underhand, the spy stuff is both grounded and satisfyingly trope-y, and it’s that rare show that has almost no “bad guys”, just a lot of very complex, deftly written characters following their own agencies. And it stuck the landing in a way I’ve never seen a show of this length do. The best finale in tv. It’s history! It’s bilingual! The main cast is a list of knockout acting performances without a miss between them. The soundtrack is incredible.

“Sometimes I wonder if you understand spies. One day with Arkady and the others at the Rezidentura, do you want to put them in jail? That's how a policeman thinks, not how spies think. We want everyone to stay right where they are, and bleed everything they know out of them. Forever.”

Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries: More history! Almost always just for flavour, but when it isn’t! You get episodes like Death on the Vine, and we all know I am weak for a WWI story. And Rilke’s Liebeslied. The main characters are fantastic, and even at its whackiest this show is SO FUN. Bonus for costumes that are to die for, pun intended. You need to understand also that i watch this show purely with a shipper's heart and cannot be held accountable for how incomprehensible you may find the episode of the week. I do not care. This show is peak romance.

"[The inspector sent me] to tell you, in his words, to stay in your compartment, to please resist the temptation to interfere, and to not bandy about his name for your own convenience."

Derry Girls: Even more history! This one understands what it’s like to be a girl in her teens better than any other show I’ve seen, and has such an incredibly strong sense of place and time, an absolute standout even among period dramas. And it’s also just SO FUNNY.

“We're too delicate for prison!” "We go to convent school, Erin, for fuck's sake, we'll be grand."

Fleabag: The other best finale in tv. A main character who is lowkey Fucked Up™, but so relatable, and so real. Also, siblings! This show is so smart, and so sad, and SO funny. And romantic? My God.

"Either everyone feels like this a little bit and they're just not talking about it, or I'm completely fucking alone."

Barry: I’ve probably enjoyed a lot of shows more but the writing! Is insane!! I had no idea what to expect of this show when I first started it and it bowled me over completely with how smart and precise and thoughtful the writing is. The acting is also incredible, and it’s very funny. And it’s DEVASTATING. (Edit: this review, turns out, was for three out of four seasons. I had no idea there was a fourth. It's... something alright. It feels like a completely different thing than the rest of the show tone wise. It wasn't bad, but I preferred S3 as an ending.)

"Can you tell him that he is going to be okay and that he was right. I’m pretty sure people can change."

Doctor Who: I am so attached to Matt Smith's early seasons. I know I KNOW Stephen Moffat isn't all he was cracked up to be at the time and a lot of things are. eh. about his writing but. Listen this SHAPED me. I was a Sherlock girly but the thing that impacted my personality and probably my writing the most was the first two Eleventh Doctor seasons. They have a weird fairytale vibe and I am ABOUT that 'til the day I die, and even a still from those seasons takes me back instantly.

"You won’t even remember me. Well, you’ll remember me a little. I’ll be a story in your head. But that’s okay, we’re all stories in the end."

Veronica Mars: Again, specifically the first two seasons, and specifically *vibes*. Is this show good? Sometimes? Are the mysteries good? Rarely? Did the people running the show know what kind of show they were running? Apparently fucking not. Have I stopped thinking about in the last five years? Also no.

"Honestly, how much easier would your life be if you were indifferent to me?"

Brooklyn Nine-Nine: I don't go for a lot of straight comedy, but as you can probably tell by now, I love a crime procedural and I LOVE shows that make fun of crime procedurals. This show is so funny. Again, is it perfect? No. But it's SO funny though.

"I did it for love!" "Cool motive. Still murder."

tagging @spacepandar @moonprincess92 @rapidashmascot @peppermoons and anyone else who feels like doing it!

[pfhwrittes]

Fair enough, I shall! But a hopefully quick q!

Whats the best most "alright I can't fuck around with that" reason a road would be effectively closed down/detour around and stay the night somewhere reason you can think of for over there?

The ones I can think of I don't know how prevalent/likely they are over there. Or how likely a military dude is to just look at it and NOT JUST GO "eh I'll be fine I've driven through worse"

Like roads washing out, trees fallen in the road, enough ice and snow and plows haven't made it in yet/bad enough snowstorm, tipped over 18-wheeler/its cargo? Shit like that I know would do a decent job with a sliding scale of productivity but again the likelihood is my sticking point since my experience over there has been largely heathrow-> london-> heathrow.

Other questions are dumb and probably zillow-able but that's the one I'm most thonk emoji over rn

Morrrrg! I've answered this publicly, if that's okay? If not, let me know and I'll take it down.

You'll be wanting a road closure controlled by the local police then! Fatal road traffic collisions always get both directions closed on our roads for at least a minimum of 12 hours, depending on how grisly the scene of the collision is it can be up to 24 hours. Most arterial routes into most towns and villages are single lane (one lane of traffic per direction of travel) so it's incredibly disruptive and very sad when that happens.

Otherwise, a tree in the road or flooding in the road is a pretty good alternative. Those usually get cordoned off too by the Highways team / local council / local police depending on the severity and how soon the issue can be resolved. My deepest condolences on having to experience the M25 around Heathrow airport, I had to do a Wales -> Heathrow -> Wales trip in December. It took me 9 hours and I hated every single minute of it that wasn't spent on my beloved M4. Feel free to ask me any silly questions! If you're looking for houses or house layouts I recommend rightmove.co.uk or zoopla.co.uk for inspiration.

[danielfuckingricciardo]

F1 Drivers x The Thick of It Quotes

Rewatched TTOI again and Malcolm Tucker’s quotes are just too iconic so I had to do something with them!

So here’s a collection of incorrect quotes pretty much showing that Max more than anyone else in the paddock is incredibly Malcolm Tucker-coded

Tw: Lots of swearing, suicide discussion, violence discussion

Charles (about Xavi): No, he’s useless. He’s absolutely useless. He is, he’s useless, he’s as useless as a marzipan dildo. Alright. Got to go. Xavi’s just walked in.

———

Max: How fucked am I?

Daniel: Well, you look awful, you look terrible. I mean, you often look quite bad, but…

Max: I mean, in terms of negative publicity. On the fuckometer, where am I?

Charles: Oh, 12.

Daniel: Yeah. 12, say.

Max: Out of what?

Charles: Er… 50.

Daniel: Oh, mine was out of ten.

Max: Right, (to Charles) so I’m 24% fucked according to you, (to Daniel) but according to you I’m 120% fucked?

———

Daniel: Did you see the news?

Max: NoMFuP.

Daniel: Eh?

Max: NoMFuP, N-O-M-F-U-P, Not My Fucking Problem - I quite liked that, did you like that?

Daniel: Yeah, it’s very good.

Max: I think I’ll use that quite a lot today.

Daniel: I’ll use it as well.

———

Max: (knock at the door) Come the fuck in, or fuck the fuck off.

———

(Max, Daniel and Checo are looking down at the atrium of a new building from their floor.)

Daniel: Good spot for a suicide, this, I would think: good long drop, appreciative audience.

Max: What if you just broke your back? You know, you’d be paralysed for life and they you’d still be depressed about the thing that was depressing you in the first place.

Checo: What are these, um, hangy-down things?

Daniel: Oh, they’re acoustic baffles, they stop it getting too echoey in here.

Max: So when you’re breaking your back, nobody can hear you screaming?

Daniel: Well, that is the kind of attention to detail that you get in an FIA building.

Christian Horner: (Spotting them from the ground floor) HEY! GET BACK TO WORK, ALL OF YOU!

———

Charles: Christ, Max, how do you appear out of nowhere in a building entirely made of glass?

Max: I’m a shape-shifter.

———

Max: Hey, I’m going to have a swear box installed on Monday.

Checo: What?

Max: Fucking joking, you twat! I’m on turbo.

———

Max: (To Charles) Hey, what’s wrong with you? You look like you’ve shat a Lego garage or Something.

———

Lance: Do you know, Fernando? Er, the best way to clear a paper jam?

Fernando: I don’t know, Kill a kid an hour until it sorts itself out?

———

Daniel: Afternoon, gentlemen! I heard there were sandwiches and I’m a fucker for cress - no, no, no, please don’t get up, I’m not viagra.

———

Max: Get over here, now. Might be advisable to wear brown trousers, and a shirt the colour of blood.

———

Daniel (about McLaren): Right, when I came into this team I thought, 'OK. Let's turn a fresh page.' So I turned a fresh page, and you collectively have drawn a gigantic fucking cock on it!

———

Esteban (about Mick): We're like Dick and Dom, aren't we? Great chemistry.

Lance: Yeah. Except neither one of you are Doms.

———

Toto: When the Red Bull drivers are here, you tell them nothing except where the toilets are, but you lie about that. And George, keep your tits in.

———

Max: Oi! Oi! James fucking May! It was you who sprayed the private information about the cost cap, wasn't it?! Like Jenson Button shaking up a magnum of piss!

———

Alex: Do you channel all your passions into pie charts, George? I don't even think you're excited about winning. I bet when you orgasm, you just put a little tick on a chart next to your bed.

———

Charles: Happy Birthday, Max.

Max: Stop saying that, right? Just you go home. What is this? Don't...Is this my new anal beads?

(Max looks at the box)

Max: Okay, this has been X-rayed, yeah? I'm not gonna get fucking, a present bomb in the face?

(Max opens the box. It contains a cake which reads 'Happy Birthday Cunt')

Max: This could be from anybody. (opens the accompanying card) Ah, it's from Checo. This is fucking Checo’s idea of a joke, yeah? And he wonders why we don't let him out in public.

Max: (leaving the paddock later that day) It's my birthday! (Offering Yuki a piece of cake) Cunt cake? Go ahead!

———

Fernando: (to Lance) Have you been in the paddock lately? Jesus, it's like the break-up of the Beatles, right? During the fall of the Roman Empire, while fucking Jordan's getting divorced from that bloke. All happening at the same time in a tiny fucking area, yeah?

———

Lando: Look at this! Takeaway and a fight. All I need now is a handjob in a bus shelter, I've had the great British night out.

———

Lando: Jesus, you're about as on the ball today as a dead seal!

Daniel: Hey, that's one of my fucking lines!

———

Max: Checo, I thought we had a deal, right? When I need your advice I'll give you the special signal, which is me being sectioned under the fucking Mental Health Act.

———

Daniel: (to Max) Good holiday?

Max: Shut it, you fucking hairdresser.

Checo: (to Max) Got any photos?

Max: I've got a photo of you in a minute with your cock nailed to the desk.

———

Max: (answering a knock at his door) Listen, if you are not a prostitute or a pizza guy, fuck off! (to Checo) Checo, listen, could you eat or fuck whatever's at the door on your fucking way out, please?

———

Max: (On the phone to Christian) How can I be held responsible? What, for what? I've created a what around the paddock? I've created a vibe? Listen, son, the only fucking vibe you have to worry about is the one that your wife hides in her knicker drawer.

———

Charles: Well done Max

George: He's very impressive, isn't he? In the way that, you know, Chairman Mao was actually quite impressive.

Lewis: Well that's the thing about the evil, isn't it, their amazing work ethic.

———

Max: Forgive and forget. That's my motto.

Daniel: I thought your motto was 'Who fucks wins' or 'Honi soit qui Max y fuck'.

———

Sebastian: OK people, I'd like to start this session with a question: when is a party not a party?

Fernando: When it's at your house?

———

Fernando: I'm on my own here, there's no one quite like me. Not here, not any more.

Lance: Yeah. You're the last VHS in Oxfam. They won't take them anymore, I've tried. Seasons 1 to 5 of The X-Files, nothing, can't give them away.

———

Daniel: (on the phone to Charles) You are not going to try and talk me down off a ledge, are you? Because, I've got to tell you, I'm really tired and the pavement looks like a nice, warm, splatty bed right now.

———

[dearhargrove]

Change of heart

Billy Hargrove x f!reader

Request Henderson reader (f or gn) dating Billy, Dustin doesn’t approve, Billy climbs into window after fights with Neil and you patch him up (mentally and physically), but one night it’s really bad and he and Max turn up knocking at the door bc Billy is in no shape to climb, and Dustin answers and Billy is like almost passing out but eh and you have to help him, and Dustin is like “oh shit” and yeah happy ending please

summary Dustin never liked Billy, but he definitely didn't like you dating Billy. Until said boy shows up on the brink of losing consciousness but still manages to swoon over you. Yeah, that might have changed Dustin's mind.

tags violence, wounds, bleeding, Henderson!reader

notes I love writing, so I'm happy to be back! It was hectic with the first weeks of school and I haven't been focusing on much else. There was also no motivation, and I just felt guilty leaving you all hanging like I did. Let's hope it gets better! Love you all <3

masterlist • navigation

Dustin never approved of you and Billy. That's what you expected when you revealed it to him; blatant rejection and some disbelief. It was justified - Billy had terrorized the kids unreasonably for weeks before meeting you. 

He had honked at the boys before nearly running them over - but this time you saw him. 

You had approached him in school the next day, threatening to run him over instead. From that moment he was intrigued. After asking you out a few times you agreed and got to know him. 

It would be quite the shock for everyone to find out he's sweet (when he lets himself). 

The first time he needed your help was when he smashed his mirror out of anger, some pieces of the glass still stuck in his hand. You had scolded him and after coddled him, sad this was his only way to channel his anger. 

It had luckily never been that bad, a few bandaids, some disinfectant and he was fine. 

You were in your room when it happened, reading over your homework. 

Dustin huffed out of annoyance at the aggressive knocking before ripping the door open. "What?" That's when he saw who it was on his doorstep. There Max stood, Billy's arm around her shoulder and only barely standing. 

"Get your sister. He said she can help," she urges and drags him in. "Woah, Woah. Stop there - he's not going in here or close to my sister." Dustin disliked Billy and didn't trust him. He was scared that you'd end up getting hurt more than anything. 

"No," Max just said again and walked further, huffing from the exhaust. "Dustin, what the fuck is going on?" You ask, eyes on the stairs as you walk down (you'd fallen down the stairs way too many times to not be careful). 

Max yelled out your name and when you got down the last step she was in front of you with her brother draped over her. 

He had blood running down his forehead and his knuckles were burst open. "What happened to him?" You quickly overcome your shock and help the small girl to get him to the kitchen. 

You sit him down in one of the chairs and get your - updated - first aid kit. Since the first few times, you've stocked it up on bandages, disinfectant, and more stuff. You brush his hair aside carefully, noticing he was barely conscious. 

"Alright, Max, Dustin? Keep him awake, talk to him," you instruct and wipe the blood off his forehead, getting to cleaning the wound high on his forehead. You're incredibly tense, the fact that you have to save this was challenging. 

Sometime in between he wakes up completely, hissing in pain. "Jesus, he got me good." He jokes and you would've slapped him if he wasn't in a bad condition like this. "Billy?" Max asks frantically and keeps up the conversation, though his eyes are on you and his hand shakily on your hip. 

When you're done you gather up the trash left from everything and gesture to the two teens to take it outside. 

With a sigh, you cross your arms and lean against the counter. "What happened?" He smiles at you warily and shrugs, opening his arms. "Hug me I think I deserve some love," it's half-joking, half-serious, so you huff but gather him in your arms. 

His head is leaning against your stomach and you have one hand on his neck. "He made some comments about you, and I couldn't stop myself," he explains and you're once again close to smacking him. "I've told you to just let it go when he does that. It doesn't matter to me, so it shouldn't to you." 

He shrugs and grins, "Don't care." 

With a shake of your head you hear the two friends come back in and take his hand, "Can you walk?" He nods and you help him up. "Pretty sure Dustin accepts you now." 

Somewhere - that's way too close for them to not have eavesdropped - you hear Dustin shout a 'Still a long way to go!' and you laugh a little, Billy as well. "He's fierce." 

Opening the door to your room you let him go, going to clean up your homework quickly. "Studying as always." He remarks with amusement, dropping on your bed. "Some of us have to," you drily say and sit down next to where he sat on your bed. 

"You don't. You're smart enough not to and still ace all the exams, you know that right?" There he goes with the flattery. Scoffing playfully, you change into your pajamas before going to your closet to retrieve some of his shirts, so he wouldn't have to sleep in his bloodied clothes. 

"Alright, I have this," you give him a white muscle shirt he'd left months ago, "and this," it's a pair of boxer shorts - you couldn't answer why it was there, but you're glad it was. 

"Go change and come to bed, I'm tired." 

He looks at you fondly, and even though his eye was swelling up and his face ached with every movement (just as the rest of his body did) he made it a point to send you one of his rare, but appreciated, big smiles. 

"Be right back, princess." 

[thecontumacious]

ahhhhh request is finally open!! hi just wanted to say that I adore the way u write!

so I wanted to request hcs where the luxiem boys overhears their s/o doing a karaoke streams and they sing like a pro? and maybe they join in too?❤️❤️

"You're my favorite song."

a/n: i subconsciously made a mini playlist for each of the boys :D i also just wanna highly recommend the songs i listed so check out the artists when you have time ^-^

quick announcement: finals are next tuesday so i will be incredibly busy for around two weeks. thus, posts will slow down a whole lot more this time around ;-; but! after that, i will be completely free and will def have a lot of time to finish this batch~ i hope you guys don't mind waiting for a bit!

Vox Akuma 👹🌹

Hiiragi Kirai - Vita, Bocca della Verita, Bottom

hiiragi's songs are powerful and your voice resonated exactly with that, which of course attracted the demon firsthand

he had never thought you could sing such high energy songs

the more you sang, the more fond and enchanted he was with your voice

we all know how he's very i to confident and bold people, hiiragi's songs are the epitome of those things

so imagine this

vox, who had originally wanted to send you a superchat to show some support for the karaoke stream, is in complete awe and finds himself listening intently to you

in laymen's terms, simping

it's only when you announced a break mid stream that it knocked him back to reality

Vox Akuma just sent $25 through superchat! "goodness darling, your voice is speaking to my soul. take responsibility won't you?"

*you choking on your water* "v-VOX HI"

i mean, you knew that your fellow vtuber friends (boyfriend in this case) would be checking out your karaoke stream but you never figured he'd actually show up and have the audacity to send a superchat too

"h-hi vox," you laugh nervously, instantly shrinking in your seat as you fiddle with your water bottle

the demon chuckles from the other side of the screen, opting for a regular chat this time for your sake

"take the water easy, love."

chat is going wild

then, he had a bright idea

he turns to his discord server and goes to send you a private message:

Vox Akuma [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : hey, can i ask for permission to join your stream?"

might've been a bad idea since this was a stream mainly about you but he wanted to join in on the fun, with how you're so passionate in the singing

actually no, he wanted to join only bcs he thought you were so talented, it's only natural he'd like to be affected by this wonderful sense of aura ^^

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : yeah yeah! totally cool!! come on over babe, just use the discord server!

he was slightly surprised when you granted him said permission

he'd be lying if he said he wasn't nervous bcs he knows he's no good at singing and needs practice beforehand

think before you act eh?

too late! you're already announcing to the chat that they'll be having an impromptu guest

"vox?"

"hey everyoneee hiiii"

HI MILORDDDDD

"okay, next on my set list should be something you know, vox. you ready?"

all nervousness washes away upon seeing your beautiful smile and he reminds himself that he's in it for the fun

"i got you darling."

the instrumental starts to roll in and he notices how you're more nervous than before

"y/n? are you alright?" he asks sweetly

"n-nervous is all!" you reply

vox chuckles, "nothing to be nervous about, my dear. you're very skilled at this and with the practice you had, i'm very sure you'll do well."

on screen, the demon can see your anxiety faltering and all he sees is your grin

will there ever be another person out there who can make him feel this way simply with a smile like that?

"thanks, vox."

VOX-Y/N SHIP FLOATING POG

when your voice starts to sing the melodies, vox is once again charmed by it

he rly couldn't help it and sometimes, his voice would soften just watching you lose yourself in the song

all this is mine? god, i'm so lucky.

post stream, vox actually makes his way over to your room and instantly just wraps you in his arms, kissing your face affectionately

you giggle when he finally stops, "hi."

"hello, love," he whispers. "you were beautiful today. that's what i wanted to say."

and indeed you were

other boys utc!

Mysta Rias 🦊🔶

Kanaria - Envy Baby, EYE | Giga - CH4NGE

"GASPPPP GIGAAAA" is his first initial reaction upon hearing the familiar beats but then your voice-

god your voice

sure, you were great at a lot of things but singing?????

"holy shit they're good," he mutters under his breath, genuinely amazed by how you nail ch4nge's lyrics

the thing about ch4nge is that it requires a sort of charm or confidence in executing the lyrics. there's no way to do the song justice if not done with that type of flare

and you know what?

you check all the above requirements

you sing it with high energy and arrogance as perceived by the original producer, so much so mysta thinks this version is better than the original

now that's saying something

he goes into the chat and presses on the superchat function, sending in a couple ten pounds:

Mysta Rias [NIJISANJI EN] sent 50$ through superchat! official ch4nge cover when

bcs mysta's name came up, you couldn't help but redirect your vision towards the screen. however, you weren't finished singing so all you did was grin

then you had the bright idea to up your game and sing ch4nge like you were flirting with him, now knowing your boyfriend was watching

hoo boy

feral mysta go brrrr

and just as you assumed, you did indeed awake something within mysta and although he was simply sitting on his office chair in front of his pc, he feels an unusual adrenaline rush

you sing the final lyrics and mysta instantly goes onto discord, sending you a private message

Mysta Rias [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : YO CAN I JOIN

he half expected you to either ignore him or say no

but there you go

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : FUCK YEAH COME ON THEN IM SINGING KANARIA'S EYE NEXT Mysta Rias [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : AIGHT BET WAIT THERE

like vox, he's aware he's no good at singing but the adrenaline kept him up like he was on a sugar rush

not much stopping to do now so he's on that discord call with you and your chat is welcoming him with big open arms

MYSTAAAAA

IS MYSTA GONNA SING WITH Y/N?????

MYSTA POGGG

"alright, mysta, they have high hopes for you," you giggle, prepping the next instrumental

he merely chuckles, "hi chat!! i honestly don't know what the fuck i'm doing but i'm here now."

"always so impulsive," you comment. "you good?"

"yeah, yeah, let's go"

as the instrumental begins, you start hyping yourself up and this only makes mysta more excited

with his lyrics already pulled up on his screen, you and him duet kanaria's "EYE"

in his head, he knows you're outshining him by quite a lot even without that much effort

but i think it's because of this, mysta's view of you changes a bit

how could he get so lucky?

you were skilled at a lot of things, a talented content creator/entertainer, a successful vtuber within nijisanji and most importantly, you belonged to mysta

and as you tell him every night:

"yours and only yours, babe."

amidst the upbeat music and fast paced chat, mysta only sees you having fun and enjoying the song

and he wants nothing else, from that moment on, than to keep that smile on your face and let no harm come your way

post stream, mysta congratulates you on reaching your milestone and doing so well during the karaoke stream

all before saying with a silly grin on his face, "say, do you think we can do a karaoke stream together again?"

Luca Kaneshiro 🦮🔆

wotaku - MAFIA, SHANTI | Kanaria - KING

a reason to fall in love with you tbh

you sounded so badass??????

luca even dare say that you singing mafia was better than how he did it and he was not in the slightest bit complaining

regardless of your lore, you, y/n could fit well into the mafia setting with how you're rapping mafia

he thought you couldn't be any cooler, but he was obviously wrong with how you're nailing all the lyrics (despite being a fast paced song)

luca can only watch in awe, bopping his head and humming the lyrics himself with the brightest and proudest grin that has ever graced his face

when you finish, luca is quick to press the superchat function to further support your amazing success

Luca Kaneshiro [NIJISANJI EN] sent $20 through superchat! POGGGGGGG

upon reading the incoming donation, you blush on stream while giggling shyly

"hey luca," you greet him, waving slightly

on the other side of the screen, luca melts internally

from the aggressive tone you took on to sing mafia and now shrinking to a more shy and flustered soul

how in the world are you so fucking adorable

Luca Kaneshiro [NIJISANJI EN] 🔧 : BABE THAT WAS SO POGGG YOU PROBABLY SANG IT BETTER THAN ME

you laugh, shaking your head, "oh come on, luca. your mafia cover was good too!"

humble, are you?

luca smiles

Luca Kaneshiro [NIJISANJI EN] 🔧 : honeybun stop being shy and admit that you're good at this

you will not believe how fast the chat is going seeing you interact like this, clippers super busy commemorating this beautiful moment

even your mods are begging you to put slow mode on for the sake of their sanity

"slow mode? okay wait hold on," you chuckle, pressing a few settings as per the request

seeing you have so much fun brings so much joy to luca and there's a small part inside him begging to join you. but he knows that this was your karaoke stream

who was he to intrude this celebratory stream?

hence, why you were the one who gave him the special invite

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : babe, do you wanna maybe join the stream?

luca at first couldn't believe what he was seeing but after rubbing away at his eyes and refreshing his page, your message is most definitely real

that small part i mentioned earlier?

it evolved into something much bigger and now there's no way to stop it

luca has the biggest grin in the world

Luca Kaneshiro [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : HOLY SHIT YES PLEASE

and he's quick to join the discord call and meet up with you

"HI BABYYYY!!" luca exclaims, wiggling around excitedly

you can only laugh at his adorable enthusiasm, addressing him to the chat, "welcome luca!!"

he wasn't completely there in person, but did it matter when his heart felt so incredibly close to you as of right now?

"what's our next song, y/n?"

"oh! you should know this, luca! but you can pull up the lyrics if need be. tell me when you're ready," you respond, typing up the song's title as the set list and readying the instrumental. "you good luca?"

nodding, he answers, "yep!"

the song begins and so does your singing

luca, who was originally already very excited, becomes even more hyped when his voice is in sync with yours. when you lock eyes with him, his heart speeds up and this prompts him to take his singing to the next level

and boy we know just how lovely of a voice luca has

he just has so much fun with you

he's on a euphoric train, holding your hand tightly to bring you aboard the soul filling feeling

like nearing the station, the song comes to a close end and luca's heart feels slightly hollow

but he looks at you

he's never felt more glad to have you as his

"hey, y/n?"

"yeah, luca?"

"i love you."

LUCA AND Y/N WEDDING WHEN

Ike Eveland 🖋💙

YOASOBI - Running into the Night | Mafumafu - Hunger | Maigo Hanyuu - Clear and Sunny

ike recognizes the song you're singing as maigo hanyuu's mellow clear and sunny

the song, unlike our previous boys, is more downplayed. it's soft but holds a strong meaning nevertheless. it is a song for the tired. it is a song that resonates with ike's gentle heart

but god that song spoke to him in a different language with how you sang it

to ike, it sounded sad but somehow also very comforting. sweet amongst a sea of bitter. it's only when he feels something cold on his arm does he realize he's crying

"oh my god," he whispers, using his sleeve to dry the remaining tears. your singing hadn't ceased either. he sighs, "why are you so beautiful, y/n?"

he doesn't wish to interrupt you so he stays silent and watches you like it was a concert

chat seemed to have had the same opinion as him

ike is still in heavy awe that he doesn't even want to input his opinion in the live chat. to him, he wants to savor every moment you sing your songs, melodizing the lyrics and pouring your every will in them

like it was a prayer almost

once you finish sunny and clear, ike begins to type on his keyboard

Ike Eveland [NIJISANJI EN] 🔧 : that was beautiful, y/n.

you pause and blush a bright red, giggling. "hi ike. i'm glad you liked it."

he more than just enjoyed it y/n, dear

he was willing to give you his entire support, as a coworker within nijisanji and as a personal fan of your work

yet there was something about your recent performance that draws ike in, literally pulling him in as though he wanted to be right there next to you

ike guiltily wished he could accompany you sing

as a musical artist himself, to be one with the music is a magical feeling. and duets are a different world in itself. and this was with you...

before long, ike's less professional side is somehow already on his keyboard again and messaging through the chat

Ike Eveland [NIJISANJI EN] 🔧 : i suddenly really wanna do a duet with you

the entirety of ike believed that you would just read the message and shrug it off, maybe laugh at it and make empty promises that you'd one day do it

but there you were, pausing mid stream and a message on discord comes through to him

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : are you serious???? Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : i mean- i wouldn't mind if u joined with me! Ike Eveland [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : really???? it's your stream! are you sure?? Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : tbh, i'm super nervous rn so your presence might be super nice...

ike smiles, finding you at this very moment extremely endearing

even after confidently singing one of the most sentimental songs in the vocaloid world with such emotion and soul wrecking tone, here you are, admitting that you're nervous and needing someone to be there just to feel okay again

moreover, he's the one you go to

Ike Eveland [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : alright if u insist Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : thanks so much, love!!

IKEEEEEE

"hi everyone," ike smiles, moving his body around in greeting towards your chat. "apparently y/n is too nervous and begged me to be here."

"i did not beg," you frown

ike chuckles, "alright fine. you didn't beg."

"alright, alright! here's our next song, ike."

the discord message comes through: "yoasobi - running into the night."

ah this song

ike nods on stream, clearing his throat and warming up his vocal cords. "i'm ready if you are, y/n."

you make the necessary clicks before announcing, "all set! on the count of three and we immediately start singing, ike."

"alright."

"1, 2, 3!"

running into the night sounds very upbeat and fun, but when examined deeper, it is no different than clear and sunny. the lyrics tell a story of the wounded and tired. they don't fail to keep the listener attached.

but for ike, this song sung by you doesn't fail to keep him enchanted.

so enchanted, he loses himself and wishes to just hear you sing and not focus on singing anymore

and by the end, chat rolls aggressively with applaud and questions for ike

"ike, why'd u stop singing mid song?" you ask, frowning

"because someone else was singing and i felt too outshined," he smiles, giggling as you shy away, shrinking in front of the camera. ike laughs, "awe, don't be shy, sweetheart. you did wonderfully."

"th-thanks, ike," you still don't want to face him head on, but he knows that you're genuinely thankful

post stream, ike makes you stay online on discord to give a call.

"yes, ike?"

"do you wanna collab? i have an idea for a song for the two of us."

Shu Yamino 🔮✨

tsumiki - phony | Neru - Becoming Potatoes | wowaka - Unknown Mother-Goose

the first song, phony, requires a lot of energy and finesse, but not so serious so you still seem like you're having fun

even shu thinks that song exhausts his own lungs

so to see you sing phony, not breaking a sweat but still nailing its atmosphere with the biggest smile on your face brings a sort of exciting comfort to the sorcerer

and the fact you're singing one of his favorite vocaloid songs brings him back home

from the other side of the screen, shu watches you continue to have fun on your commemoration of a special milestone on your channel and the more his heart feels so close and comfortable with you

he's the sorcerer, what magic were you casting upon him, huh?

because shu won't be admitting the fact that he feels like he wants to hold you and keep you to himself for the rest of the day

okay maybe he will later, but come on you were busy :<

the final notes of phony finally comes to an end and you heave an exhausted breath, but despite it, it was obvious that you were still happy and full of energy

shu smiles, contagious

Shu Yamino [NIJISANJI EN] 🔧 : that was so good babe good job!

upon seeing his name in the chat, you smile, "hi shu and thank you."

HI SHUUUU

SHU X Y/N POGGG

Shu Yamino [NIJISANJI EN] 🔧 : they have a good taste in music chat, this stream is gonna be super pog

you chuckle at his comment, "admittedly, shu has been introducing majority of the songs i'll be singing today. what an influence."

though that response was but of mere casual saying, shu felt... proud?

"alright, our next song! hint, it's actually a song commissioned for project sekai. the lyrics are... interesting to say the least, but the music is so well produced," you explain, typing on your keyboard to prep the instrumental. "any guesses?"

the chat begins to insert their many guesses, varying in titles

Shu Yamino [NIJISANJI EN] 🔧 : is it potato ni natteiku

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : YEAH IT IS LMAOOO

that song, as you said, had its music very well produced indeed. shu thinks it's super catchy and whenever he listens to it, he can't help but bop his head a bit

Shu Yamino [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : man that song is so good and relatable lol Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : do u wanna join in then? let's duet shu!!

shu's fingers drop onto his keyboard, void of any strain as he looks at your message. wasn't this your stream? weren't you the one who reached this milestone?

what had he done to be offered this rare chance?

imagine singing his and your favorite songs, and enjoying them with the chat...

felt like it could be your own world

Shu Yamino [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : you don't mind??? i mean i'm cool if you're cool

his heart beats against his ribcage and that wave of feeling at home, nothing in the world could bother him, washes over shu again

it's that temporary moment in his life where everything is going to be alright and that he's rly found what he's been looking for all his life

Y/N L/N [NIJISANJI EN] 🟢 : yeahh!! come on!

seeing you so enthusiastic, there was no way he was going to refuse you so he clicks on the appropriate button and he makes himself known to the chat

HI SHU

UWAHHH SHUUUU

"so, he actually guessed my next song right so for that, he gets to sing with me," you giggle, causing shu to laugh alongside you

"that's because you're too predictable, y/n."

"how can i not be when you're the one teaching me all these songs, huh?" you pout

that's about true, shu thinks as he merely grins

"alright, i got everything set. you ready, shu?"

he takes a deep breath and spares you one glance. you smile at him. that was all he needed to muster up the courage to sing with you, for you and the world you two built together

"all good."

like everything else was

the song begins, the chat sends your respective light sticks and among all the good chaos, you hold out your hand out to shu

the hand he takes and lets you lead away where you're going this time

shu takes the lower note while you take the higher, creating a wonderful mesh of contrasting tones

smiles decorate both your faces, which bring a happier atmosphere to potato ni natteiku and the adrenaline inside shu rushes faster than before

like two hearts beating at once, you and shu sync in together with vibes not far different from one another. you bob your head at the same beats and pause at the same time

cliche as it may sound, the sorcerer has never felt more fitting in this life and truly grateful for what he has

you especially

so when the song ends, shu wants nothing more than to experience it all over again. to feel that rush of adrenaline, but also that comforting sense of home.

but he knows, as he watches you pant from exhaustion, that he will get that chance once more in the future

"you good, y/n?" shu laughs

you nod, taking a sip of your water. "yep! you?"

he smiles. "yeah, amazing."

Masterlist!

[sgnjimmy]

✓𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 Part. 3

vinny hong x gn!reader

A/n: brain going brrrr w this. (and WTF is this anyways). i'm ignoring canon bc that shit hunts me every day, our man does not have a break, lemme tell u. fun fact i did this during class cuz who tf participes in PE??

A/n (2): for some reason i'm not feeling this so ignore any mistakes again. 🙏😭

Part. 1, Part. 2, Part. 4

"you were right, this is really good" you comment still chowing your food. after what he had said to you vinny told you to wait in a bench while he went buy the food for you both. now you two are sitting in the same park you had encounter him a few weeks ago. enjoying each other's presence, the feeling being oddly familiar.

"it's good to see you're still cycling" "it always made you feel better, from what i remember". little did you know it wasn't riding a bike that made him feel better, but you. you always hyped him up, and praised him, saying he looked cool and all. it never failed to make him happy. you never failed to make him happy. vinny feels his cheeks heating up thanks to those thoughts, he tries to hide it by lowering his head, hoping you wouldn't notice. it's been barley five minutes and you're already making him feel things, damn it. "fuck" he mumbles under his breath.

"vinny, you're okay?" "..hey, don't look down, it doesn't suits you" when you say this you softly reaches for his chin with your hand, making him look at you."there... much prettier" that damn smile again, vinny swears you're doing this on purpose, there's no other explanation. "yeah, y-yeah" "i'm good" he replies, missing your touch when you pull your hand away from him. "you sure? you're a little red." you ask concerned."no, yeah- i'm okay"

"...alright" "oh, right! so how's your mom doing?" he tenses up after hearing that. what's he supposed to say... that she's incredible sick and he's worried something bad could happen...? he doesn't want to think about it right now. "...she's sick" vinny get's visually uncomfortable talking about this so you pick it up fast enough."prefer not talk about it, right?". "yeah.." you hear him say.

"and how about that girl? is she your girlfriend?" you ask to try to change the subject "what...? NO no, she is not my girlfriend." "she's not..." he's looking at you so flustered you can't help but laugh. he's cute, you think. "haha, okay okay..." "hm, do you have a girlfriend or a partner?" you're ask picking at your food. "i- i don't, no..." his head falls once more, and the look you see on his face is kind of... sad? "hey hey don't worry about it!" "is okay if you don't date, or don't want to talk about it" he nods slowly but then suddenly looks at you "do you? do you have.... a partner?" he's staring at you with such a intense gaze, it makes you feel nervous. vinny seems genuinely so interested and curious so he waits for your answer. "eh, no- well, not currently..."

"ah..." "wait, but you did?!" vinny throws you off balance asking that, why so many questions? and about your dating life no less... he could just be curious about it, your inner voice tells you. you guys don't see each other since you were nine, your life charged since. is understandable him trying to catch up...

vinny's mind is running wild at the moment. you had dated?? with who? when? how? what...? i'm mean is true you were incredible, and still seems to be so. and holy shit you're gorgeous, really really gorgeous. he could imagine someone falling for you. he's just... he... he doesn't know how to call what's he's feeling. it bothers him to imagine you with someone. imaging you laughing so closely to someone, or going on late walks... he thinks, what if he was the one you call partner...?

wait, what is he thinking? god, no- no, stop. you're just his friend. his best friend or more like his ex best friend... anyhow, he shouldn't think those things about you. you're free to date whoever you want and do whatever you want... vinny can't help though, he wishes you'd choose to do those things with him. maybe you would... he stops himself from going any further in his thoughts. vinny knows better than that, those kind of things never work out for him, and besides... why would you ever choose him.

(no one asked for this sequel but, hey 😀... also i'm genuinely going w the flow, had to stop myself from making it longer.)

and for my vinny tag list (anyone who wants to join massage me or just lemme know, i'll add you): @vinnyshongf

[fruitcoops]

I just reread that one thing you wrote where Kasey found out Remus wasn't innocent by accidentally reading the message, and now I need the rest of the team finding out that Remus is the kinky one and Sirius just grinning so fucking smugly cos out of all the players, he's the one that gets the kinky fiancé (like Kasey said at the end of the thing) 😂🥰💙

Valentine’s Day Part 2! This is the follow-up to the spicy Coops from earlier--hope you enjoy! Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for hickeys, friendly chirping, and implied smut on many accounts

Sirius had never dreaded going to practice more. He could hardly sit down, and the hickeys that freckled his body and ringed his thighs showed no sign of going away anytime soon. Part of him—a very, very, very small part—wished Remus had gone a little easier, but the rest of him still got a thrill of excitement whenever he saw the marks.

The locker room was quiet when they entered; Sirius tried to hide his slight limp, but he noticed Logan’s wince as he bent to grab his bag off the floor. Kasey lowered himself onto his bench with a slow breath, and even James fiddled with the edge of his shirt instead of pulling it off.

“Loops, you seem to be in good shape,” Finn said with a half-laugh. Remus cleared his throat and, sighing, pulled his shirt off. There was a low whistle. “Damn. Never mind. I guess you’ll be breaking out the turtlenecks, eh?”

Remus’ courage seemed to reassure the others, and within a few minutes most of the shirts and pants had come off, revealing hickey patterns over just about all of them. The chatter started up again, then went dead silent when Sirius removed his own shirt. Talker snorted. “How’re you feeling, Cap? Do we need to get Loops a mouthguard, or…?”

Sirius shot him a mock-glare as he pulled his pads on and a ripple of quiet snickering washed through the room, then died down as Kasey slid his sweats off his legs and revealed a whole fucking handprint on his thigh. “Yeah, yeah, I know,” he huffed. “Haha, very funny.”

Be a good captain, be a good captain, be a good captain—“You’re in good company, Bliz.” He steeled himself and tugged his own pants off, reaching for his under armor and pointedly ignoring the four different jaws that hit the floor.

James leaned over and smacked Remus on the head with his glove. “Dude!”

“Ow! What?”

“Are you trying to eat him alive?” When Remus hesitated, James hit him again. “Bad Loops!”

“Alright, we’re all adults here,” Sirius interrupted. “It was Valentine’s Day, things happened to everyone. Let’s all agree not to speak of what we see in the locker room today, okay?” There were a few murmurs of agreement. “Okay?”

“Yes, Cap,” they chorused.

“Good talk.”

Ten minutes later, Arthur knocked on the doorway and poked his head in. “Hey, guys. It has come to my attention that yesterday was Valentine’s Day, so I wanted to apologize if I interrupted any plans you may have had. That being said, this is a professional team—Potter, what’s on your hip?”

James swallowed hard. “Nothing, Coach.”

“Are you hurt?” Across the room, Leo stifled his laughter in his elbow. “I can call Hestia—”

“It’s, uh, a bite mark,” James said at last, staring at the floor.

Arthur’s eyebrows rose. “Excuse me?”

“A bite mark. From my wife.” He shrugged his jersey on and grimaced a little. “I thought we would have two days for it to go away.”

Arthur’s eyes flickered around the room and settled on Logan. “Tremblay, you’re favoring your left leg.”

“Yes, Coach.”

“You’re not hurt, either?”

“Nope.”

And then Arthur’s gaze fell on Sirius. “Cap. Your ankle’s not causing that scowl, is it?”

“No, Coach, it’s not.”

Arthur sighed and glanced down at his clipboard. “Holy fuck.”

“Yes, it was,” Dumo said under his breath with a smirk. Both Logan and Sirius turned to him in abject horror.

“Everyone, stand up.” Arthur ran a hand down his face as they all shakily got to their feet; Sirius bit his lip and leaned on the side of his stall for balance. Oh, Lupin, I hope you’re proud of yourself. There was a beat of silence before he shook his head. “Practice is called off, seeing as half of you apparently got laid so good you can’t walk. I expect you to work twice as hard on Monday, alright?”

“Yes, Coach,” they said in unison.

Arthur took a last look at them and a smile twitched at his mouth, then devolved into full-blown chuckling. “Oh, fuck, this is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Good for you, boys. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

They could still hear him laughing as he walked down the hall and immediately began stripping their gear off with sighs of relief. Logan outright groaned as he pulled his sweats back on and Sirius saw Leo’s pupils dilate. “Easy there, Knut,” he teased. Leo made a face. “What, you don’t have a comeback? That’s a first.”

“I’m taking a day off,” Leo rasped.

Finn went vibrant red and Kasey’s eyes got huge. “You good, baby rookie?”

“A-okay.” Leo gave him a thumbs-up and took a long drink of water. “It was worth it.”

“Yeah, I bet,” Remus muttered with a sly grin.

“Oh, you are in no place to talk—”

“At least I can talk!”

“At least he’s got his thighs intact, unlike some people!” James cut in.

Kasey raised his eyebrows. “Should I give Lily a call and ask for details? I’m sure she’s got a real fun story for us.”

“Should I give Nat a call and ask how her hand is doing?” he countered.

“What happened to being adults about this?” Sirius asked as he zipped his bag up. “Because if we’re forgoing that, I’d love to see Logan try and sit down.”

Logan narrowed his eyes and tilted his chin toward Sirius’ legs. “I’m three seconds away from asking how those lines got so crisp. Try me, Cap."

Talker whistled. “Low blow.”

“No, a low blow would be calling my sister and asking if she’s currently at her own apartment,” Logan said smoothly, though he fixed Talker with a look that could curdle milk. “Watch it.”

“It’s times like these that I’m grateful none of you want to know about my sex life,” Dumo said as he stood. “Because last night was—”

“No!” half the locker room shouted at the same time. Packing was quick after that—nobody wanted to stick around any longer than necessary and risk being chirped for their various kink giveaways. Sirius practically broke the speed of sound while he changed back into his cozy pants.

Logan caught up to him just as they were leaving the locker room with a devilish smile. “So, was it garters or thigh highs?” he muttered, keeping his eyes on their respective partners up ahead.

“None of your business, you nosy little shit.”

“I’m guessing thigh highs.”

“And I’ve got several guesses for why Leo can’t get more than three words out, but unlike you, I know how to hold my tongue.”

“Were they comfortable?”

Sirius sighed through his nose. “Very.”

“Hmm. I might have to get some of my own.”

He actually laughed aloud at that—Remus and Finn glanced back, confused. “You’re already having trouble walking, mon frère. Let’s not make it worse on you.”

“Hey!” Logan jogged a bit to keep up as Sirius increased his pace, both wincing a little. “I would look fucking incredible!”

“Not as good as I did.”

“What are we talking about?” Leo asked, falling back to join the conversation.

“Knutty, I’d look good in thigh highs, right?” Logan demanded. Finn choked on air and Leo’s eyes went a little unfocused at the thought. “Right?”

“Point proven,” Sirius said with a smirk, ruffling his hair. “See you Monday!”

“I’d look better than you!” he called after Sirius.

“Oh, no you wouldn’t!” Remus shot back, tucking his hand in Sirius’ pocket as they headed for the door.

[xeo-kunsatan]

MonsterOlympics One Shot (+13) Part 3.

A new morning have been arrived at Monster Maze High.

Sunday 9:47 AM

Room 69

Betrayus was waking up with Muriel and a white haired human woman?

Betrayus:*Yawns* Morning Sweeties~

Muriel: Good morning Moonlight~

Beryl: Hmm~ Morning~

Betrayus: *takes air* Shit that was a crazy night yesterday... I didn't know that you were that good in this~

Muriel: Yeah dude, you were a beast last night~

Beryl: Tsk what are you talking about? You guys are incredible~

Suddenly that human transformed their body into their original form.

Beryl Marjorie

Boss of Jewels Mafia

Age: 125

Gender: Non Binary

Species: Shapeshifter/Wereleopard (Hybrid)

Beryl: And tell me~ are you agree with this payment method?

Muriel: Ohh~ it's the best and a big honor~

Betrayus: Oh Yeah~ That human disguise was a good idea, as you know i can't give myself this adventures with humans, because you know.. Ka-Boom!

Muriel: i can give myself freely this adventures with humans but i don't want to do it if I'm not next to my Moonlight~

Beryl: Awww~ it was a pleasure to make business with you too, now you have a new monetary support from my part.

Betrayus: and it's a pleasure to have your support, Thank you so much Ms Beryl.

Muriel: Come here Everytime you want it.

Beryl: See ya guys *puts in their clothing and leaves*

Beryl have left the room, to then go to a limousine waiting for them.

Note: Beryl is the Boss of a Mafia but they mostly prefers to use their money to support places which needs monetary help.

At the School Cafeteria.

The students where still feel a little tense after that fight from yesterday, mostly of them were still feeling the hurtful words from Manny, Specially Skeebo.

Sir C and Roxy went to them to give them at least good news for them.

Sir C: *with a speaker* Uhum Uhum, A-Attention Please Students! *Sneezes* I know you have felt stressed since yesterday butbi have good news for you.

Blinky: Good News my Balls!..

Roxy: Silence! C'mon Old man put more emotion in this..

Sir C: You're right Rox, The Hot Springs are Finally open for you, so you will have a better Sunday!.

All:......*Runs off to the Hot Springs*

Sir C: Wow, that worked so well..

Roxy: you see~

The students have run away to test the new hot springs

Note: there were 5 Hot Springs Rooms: Girls Room, Boys Room , Man Staff, Woman Staff and for some reason a secret one connected with both Staff rooms (Roxy's idea).

Boys Room

The boys were enyoing their new hot spring room, Skeebo still upset went to a shower next to a really worried Bradley.

Bradley: Foxy.. are you.. alright?..

Skeebo: *sighs*......

Bradley: C'mon you can tell me..

Skeebo: That stupid.. how he dares to make fun of me!!?? just because i have no family doesn't give him the rights to talk shit to me me! Nor even for the school!

Bradley: Don't let that affect you, you have a family here.

Skeebo: But not a biological!

Bradley: !!!!....

Skeebo: My brother left me, he was supposed to take care of me, we were supposed to be family.. and he still left me... For what!? To start a band and create a new family while I was dying of hungry and Cold!!!..

Bradley: Excuse me.. i know what are you feeling but i should remember you that my dad taked you to avoid that....

Skeebo: But what if he wouldn't taked me? Huh?...

Bradley: that's a Good point... *Sighs*.. Skeebo, please family it's not based by blood lines, it's based in the people who loves you and support you as you are..

Skeebo: *turns off*... You said that because you have your own parents and sister who loves you.

Bradley: Skeebo Please... What if he had a reason to left you?

Skeebo: *Hits Bradley* A Reason to Abandon me!!??

Bradley:!!!!!!..... *Trembling*

Skeebo: *reacts* Oh... No...

Bradley:*steps back*..

Skeebo: I-i-i am s-s-so sorry SugarBun!!.. I-i didn't mean to hurt you....

Bradley:*slaps Skeebo* Don't ever call me SugarBun!..*sightly sobs*... This time you Cross the line.. i thought you already understood about that you already have a family... But im wrong...

Skeebo: No Bradley please.. you are not wrong... I am sorry!...

Bradley: I Know you are really mad and hurted but that doesn't mean you can take avenge of me!

Skeebo: I-i know.. i really so sorry...

Bradley: *sobs* Fuck Off!! *Turns into a Bat and flies off crying*...

Skeebo: Bradley... *Sobs in silence* N-No... What a dumb i am... *Sighs*...

Skeebo was sobbing in the shower while the others would feel his silent lament.

Spiral: Ok Those 2 fighting? That's new

Pacster: Not really, they rarely have fights, and when they have them, they always fix the things and They reconcile with.. you know..

Blinky: I Know but this time it's harder..

Inky: yeah...

Clyde: Are they would be okay?...

Skeebo: Can you please SHUT THE FUCK UP!!?? THIS IS NOT YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!!.

Farley: Ok he is really mad...

Farren: And that's a Mad Fox..

Farid: Oww~ they were such a good couple~...

After the shower, Skeebo left to his dorm which he shares with Bradley, discovering that Bradley wasn't there..

Skeebo: *Sighs and jumps to his bed*... Bradley... If i could... Wait.. *takes his phone to make a important call* Thanks to her i got him.. i hope she can help me to bring him back..

Skeebo called an already known number which helped him as many creatures.

C.A Cupid

Daughter of Eros

Age: ???

Gender: Female

Species: Cherub.

(No, it's not my cupid from Pmatga, she is from from MH/EAH)

C.A Cupid: Greetings, anything your heart wants to share?~

Skeebo: Hello Cupid.. i need your advices one more time but this time to bring my love back..

C.A Cupid: Huh, i think i remember your voice, Long time~ What happened?

Skeebo: You see...My Boyfriend and me had a fight but this time i messed up the things in the really awful way, he surely doesn't want me next to him anymore.. i didn't mean to hurt him..

C.A Cupid: Oh dear.. I'm sorry to hear that.. don't worry i know how i help you.

Skeebo: Please..

C.A Cupid: First give him some time to relax, and then Show him that you feel really bad for hurting him and for it, like give him something really special for you 2 since many years, the reason why you are together.

Skeebo: Something Special for us since many years.. alright I got it, thank you Cupid.

C.A Cupid: Always to help, thanks for calling for my advices.

The Call ended, and Skeebo was looking for an special thing to fix the things with Bradley.

Skeebo: Where is it?..

Betrayus: Where is what?~

Skeebo: Eh!?

Betrayus's stare started to hypnotize Skeebo to make him fall sleep and then take him secretly to a unknown place.

Meanwhile in Monster High.

Miss Bloodgood have asked her students to join a reunion.

Ms Bloodgood: Dear Students, I summoned you in this reunion to discuss about what we will do in the MonsterOlympics Event, the first thing is that all of you most behave and respect your opponents.

Lagoona Blue

Daughter of the Sea Monster.

Age: 16

Gender: Female

Species: Sea monster (Saltwater)

Lagoona: Ohh~ i really felt bad about them...

Ms Bloodgood: Me too Lagoona *sighs* Mostly of The Monster Maze High students have different and difficult situations at mostly of yours, their school is where they live.

Frankie: You mean, their school is their only home

Ms Bloodgood: That's right.

Deuce Gorgon

Son of Medusa

Age: 17

Gender: Male

Species: Gorgon

Deuce: Even Knowing that i can't believe that Manny said that..

Draculaura: Me either...

Holt: Well in certain part he is right

All: Holt!!!

Holt: ok ok.. sorry

Clawd: Just Great.. Now thanks to Manny they already have a bad image of us as the mean ones...

Gillington Webber

Son of the River monster

Age: 17

Gender: Male

Species: Sea Monster (sweet water)

Gil: *Sighs* Things will get so tense during the competency...

Frankie: This can't be like this, we most show them that as we accept us independent of our differences, we accept them too even if they are from other school.

Ms Bloodgood: Frankie is right, the next week the Event will begin, even if we are competing against them we most show them fellowship and support.

Frankie: All agree with you Headless Mistress!

The Reunion finished and everyone was free to leave to their classes.

Toralei and her gang was walking around the school noticing that almost every monster was watching her and whispering to eachother.

Toralei: Pfff, what did I do this time?~

Cleo: Oh My Ra, I didn't know you were like that Toralei?~

Toralei: Mew?~ What are you talking about?.

Cleo: Didn't you check out your phone? *Leaves mocking*

Spectra Vondeirgeist

Daughter of the ghosts

Age: ???

Gender: Female

Species: Ghost.

Spectra: I Hoope you enjoy this unexpected stooory~ *flying around*

Toralei: Huh!?

Toralei Checked out her phone to visit Spectra's Blog finding the surprised of that Spectra made a blog about her meeting with Farley, pointing them as an unexpected couple between a dog and a cat.

Toralei: Meww! No!!

As well her, Farley found out the gossip in the same Blog.

Farley: Woofy Shit!!

<×/////////////////////////////////////////×>

Meanwhile In a dark place, Skeebo waked up to notice that he was tied up.

Skeebo: What The!!??...

Betrayus: You Were a really really bad Fox...

Skeebo: Mr Betrayus!?... I-i didn't mean to hurt your son..

Betrayus: But you did it.. oww~ what a shame I have to do this...

Skeebo: .......*sighs as he sobs In silence*... I'm sorry... I really wanted to fix up the things with him, with effort and heart.. as I promised.. but I guess I most pay for not appreciate what I already had... Go ahead Mr Betrayus..

Betrayus:... Wise decision~

Betrayus hold up a big blade ready to end with the Fox's life to then....

To be Continued.

[deep-hearts-core]

2022: semifinal 2

what a mess. do not know how half these songs qualified. im being bad and writing these without actually rewatching the videos because ~mental health~

Finland Okay, I still don't like the song very much, and the staging was. Okay. It was interesting At Best, having all the balls and balloons was good use of the stage, but the raincoat thing and the reference to It was unappealing to me.

Israel good vocals at the beginning but i still think the song is bad and i still object to their participation in the contest.

Serbia this was jury bait, right? my friends and i were mostly a little confused by what was going on here. the song doesn't really lend itself to a live performance.

Azerbaijan THIS was good use of stage, with the bleachers. however, the song continues to be so boring that STILL I cannot remember how it goes. I do know that he did well vocally but... sigh. I thought we were past this era of the show. I thought we had better ballads now.

Georgia Gf and gf's bf really liked this one. I thought it was well done too! Honestly, by the time the live performance was over, I could see it qualifying. It's a really interesting song and the costumes were really fascinating. Disappointed that it didn't go through.

Malta As gf's bf said, no risks were taken. Emma did remarkably well vocally, she looked nice in her dress, the piano was visually alright, I just wish they'd done more.

San Marino One of San Marino's better entries, I think. I liked his outfit. The riding of the bull seemed to be a touch too far but honestly if it weren't for the lyrics all blending into each other, poor live vocal quality, and the general eh-ness of the song itself, it could have been really good. Yeah. Just needed better live vocals. I liked watching this.

Australia Excellent. Not the type of song I'm vibing with this year in particular but I liked the big set piece and the mask drop, and Sheldon sounded great.

Cyprus This concept has just been done better a million times. If Andromache had done a little more of the dancing herself and the prop piece hadn't forced so much space, it could have gone through.

Ireland Upset about this one!!! It wasn't incredible live, sure, but I love the song, Brooke sounded good and was having a good time, and honestly Ireland has done way worse in terms of staging.

North Macedonia Unflattering and repetitive. And the vocals were poor.

Estonia Another performer who's having a great time! The song isn't, like, substantial or anything but it isn't bad and he certainly does country better than the Dutch.

Romania This really came together live in a way that I wasn't expecting. It was fun and better vocally than in the nf performance.

Poland Really strong vocals out of this one. I could have done without the superimposed rain, though.

Montenegro I liked her parasol dress thing. She sounded great live; Montenegro actually did a really good job with this, I like it much better than in studio.

Belgium It's fun! It reminds me of What's The Pressure, one of my old favorites from Belgium at ESC, in a way. In the way that the staging is set up and all. Jeremie sounds good and the song is, as the kids would say, a bop.

Sweden Cornelia sounds good and looks lovely but this staging is so bad. What is up with the green light I mean seriously. If they'd staged this better I'm sure this song would have been my winner but they kept the melfest staging which I feel is to their detriment.

Czechia A lot of fun to watch. Their lead singer has a lot of energy and did a wonderful job hitting her notes.

My personal qualifiers: Czechia, Sweden, Georgia, Romania, Ireland, Australia, Montenegro, Estonia, Malta, Belgium

[rixxy8173571m3w1p3]

Sweater Weather

I enjoy the headcanon of Doofus Rick having a variety of sweaters. And after looking at stock photos, I was inspired to write this fic. Hope you guys like it.

In this fic Ricks sweater causes some conflict.

____________

In the great vastness of space, one could learn the true meaning of loneliness. For miles upon miles, floating upon nothing, you could say it was like sailing across the sea. Yet, unlike the salt or crashing waves of the ocean, you two would navigate across star systems or avoid asteroid fields, while at the same time enjoy the peace which comes from being somewhere uncongested. However, as fascinating as it was to go on intergalactic, space adventures, one of the things you didn't enjoy was the extreme temperature changes; most of the time, you'd stay in the ship or stay home if a planet's climate was too cold for your taste, but on this occasion, Rick needed an extra pair of hands when you two stopped on Mars after spending most of the day at the Jerryboree.

After Zeta-7 had traded a few items of his own to obtain what he came for at a reduced price, you two ran as fast as you could back towards the ship, but by the time the ship was out of the Martian orbit, you were chilled to the bone. Rubbing your arms, you shivered. "I wonder if I'll ever get used to this."

Your breath came out like a cloud of smoke and the cold that had seemed mild at first had numbed your face and extremities. Rick turned up the heat, as well as turned on the seat warmers and offered you a freeze-dried Phytonian branch worm, but you passed on the offer. You knew it would have warned you up straight away, but the last time you tried one of those things, you had a stomach ache for three days. Concerned, he placed the ship on autopilot and did his best to search around in the back seat for anything you could use to warm up, but then as though it struck him on the head he groaned. "Darn it, I-I forgot that I removed the spare blanket to wash it."

"Where is it now?"

"I-I left it in the dryer."

You thought of telling him that it wasn't his fault he forgot it since you had distracted him this morning with a video about ninja cats, but it wouldn't have helped the situation. "Ricky," you tried to ease him with a weak smile but your teeth chattered. "it's not a big deal. Besides, we're not that far from home."

However, he wasn't convinced. You weren't as experienced when it came to space travel, but you knew well enough of the possible dangers associated with extreme body temperature shifts. The chill you had spread deep into your bones until you thought you'd rattle if shaken; a lick of fear traveling down your spine but otherwise you didn't feel too bad. Nonetheless, Rick was concerned for your well-being, and knowing you two were hundreds of thousands of miles away from your dimension's version of Earth, he made a decisive decision and started removing articles of his own clothing. "Whoa, what are you doing?"

With a blush, he handed you not only his knitted Jerry sweater but also his labcoat; leaving him in a thin t-shirt which had a snoopy patch on the right shoulder; how cute. "I hope it'll s-suffice until we get home."

"But what about you? What are you going to wear?"

Flashing you a stern look which left little room for argument, you slipped on his sweater and lab coat, and was delighted to feel a little more like yourself and relaxed by its scent; it was his essence; that of vanilla, of his home, and something you couldn't quite think of; chemicals perhaps. "Hmm, your clothes are a lot more comfortable than I expected them to be. How um…..how do I look?"

Turning down the lights and switching back to manual, he nodded. "It suits you m-mi corazón."

You admired its softness and passed your hand over the tight, twisted knit. It was a lovely shade of light sage green, and had a picture of a smiling Jerry holding a titanic ship model; you thought it was sweet that it was a picture of his friend. So many things this man-made or owned had a purpose or a story; this piece was most likely made to brighten up the day that the Jerrys in his care were having. Your Rick really was a good man; better yet because he saw the value in regular folk who probably didn't see it in themselves. "I like your clothes, Rick," you commented; your heart warmed by his goodness. "they seem to carry bits of you in them."

"Th-that could be said about any piece of clothing that's been worn. They carry bits of our DNA." he stated matter of factly.

"Eh….that's... I mean I get that, but that's not where I was going with this. I meant that they're soft and warm like you Ricky. You enjoy dressing comfortably, don't you? You own a variety of sweaters."

"Wh-who doesn't? I've sort of been dressing th-the same way for the last twenty or so years but when I met you, I had more opportunities to dress up. However, the older I get, the more often I'm in need of something a-a bit warmer and gentler on my skin. Actually, some of my clothes are locked to my particular genetic signature so that they'll or adjust according to the weather or climate. That way, I'll have less t-to carry on certain excursions."

"Incredible, that'll certainly come in handy, but can I ask you something?"

"Y-yes?"

"I know you're focused on driving," you started, wondering if your assumptions were correct. "but is there a reason why you haven't looked me in the eyes since we left Mars, or am I just thinking too much?"

He visibly stiffened, but he still didn't face you. Rick seemed troubled, for he tightened his grip on the wheel. Maybe this hadn't been the best time to ask, but what else could you have done? If you didn't ask, how else would you have known? Still, if you had waited, you would've noticed the red light blinking on the control panel sooner. It was a caution light, but you weren't so concerned, but you should've been.

Rick had opened his mouth to answer, with a faraway look in his eyes, but in the blink of an eye he made a sharp left turn around some space junk; jostling you two as well as the cargo. That was another thing you hated about space was Earth's contribution to its pollution. Unknowingly, you two had deviated from the usual course by a few miles, leading you two into a dangerous situation. Whether it was the fault of his navigation equipment or his lack of focus you didn't know, but it took a couple of minutes of evading space junk before you two could breathe a sigh of relief. And at the first opportunity, he switched the ship back to autopilot. "I'm s-sorry about that. I'm usually a better driver." he started, scratching the back of his neck as he glanced out the window in search of an answer in the emptiness of space. You couldn't see anything except for a few stars and the Earth straight ahead, but you had a feeling that where he was looking was somewhere you couldn't see. When he was ready, he turned around in his seat to glance at you, but then quickly turned back to face the steering wheel. How odd. "T-t-to answer your question," he stammered. "y-you're not thinking too much. I've just been distracted."

"Oh, okay."

"Are y-you alright? Nothing hurts does it?"

"I mean, other than feeling wide awake now, no harm was done I guess, but what happened? It isn't like you to let your mind wander while we're out here. Rick, would you like me to take over the wheel so you can straighten out your thoughts?"

"No, it's not - I can do it. I got this."

"Are you sure?"

"Mhm, as long as I-I focus on the wheel."

He hadn't really answered your original question, but since you guys nearly avoided death, it probably wasn't a good time.

________

He parked the ship in his garage, and since it wasn't that late, you two walked over to your home. Rick hadn't said much since earlier, but you figured he'd let you know what was bothering him later. As soon as you crossed the threshold of your home, you started a pot of coffee for Rick to drink when it was ready. Then, you got a blanket from the closet and offered it to him just in case he was cold, but he didn't care for one. He was still in a mood, and you wondered if the reason you'd upset him was that you were still wearing his sweater. "You probably want this back right?"

Slipping out of his sweater and labcoat, you felt the temperature difference immediately and took up the blanket you had taken out and wrapped it around yourself. "Thanks for letting me borrow them. I'll be sure to pack something with me next time."

"I'm n-not sure if that's such a-a good idea." he said with seriousness.

"What do you mean?"

The lines around his eyes deepened, as well as the creases of his forehead, and there was a pensive cloudiness of his usually electric blues. Frustrated, he bit down on his lip almost hard enough to make it bleed. "B-because it's distracting."

"What?"

He continued. "I-I should've brought you home first or gotten the parts a different time."

"But I thought you wanted help." you sniffled.

"Y-you don't understand."

"What's there to understand?" you retorted; sinking into the couch as tears stung the back of your eyes, and threatened to come out. "You...you don't want me to help you anymore? I thought we were a team."

Your saddened state shifted his sour mood, and he apologized. "Gosh, please don't cry mi corazón, I-I didn't mean it."

"But you sai-"

"I'm not upset at you," he reassured you. "I'm disappointed in myself for allowing this to happen. I've become complacent and I-I should've been prepared. You could've gotten sick, hurt, or worse just because I got distracted. Next time I'll bring you your own sweater and snacks or whatever you want."

"Is it because you don't want me wearing yours? Did I ruin it or something?"

"No, it's because," he swallowed, unsure how to broach the subject. "cuando lo usas, es… es apretado."

What? You understood the part where he said you used it, but not the rest. Pulling out your phone from your pocket, you asked Google what all of that just meant, but the answer you got didn't help. "Rick, should I be offended?"

"I-I hope not. I promise it's not what you're thinking."

"Then what is it? I'm not getting any clear answers here."

"I um - I'm sorry if I offended you. It's not what I intended to do. I know what I'm about t-to tell you sounds silly since I had hoped I'd outgrow this, but I still feel shy around you."

This much you did know. He was overly conscious of himself, his actions, and how he might disappoint or be lacking, but most of all was hateful of his own inadequacies. Yet, for where he found fault, you found virtue and you would remind him of that, but in this case, you simply needed to listen. "That's okay, I already knew that."

"I don't feel like that all the time, but today I got embarrassed all of a sudden. I-I don't know what happened. Y-you were wearing my clothes and I saw your silhouette in the starlight and I got nervous."

Huh? That's what was bothering him?

"Why?"

"It um - it made me wonder what it'd be like if we lived together and…oh, it's embarrassing."

The hand which he had resting on the couch gripped the fabric tightly, and he was mortified because he had been distracted by you; which under normal circumstances he'd be able to remain calm. Covering his hand with yours, you gave him a squeeze."No, I would like to hear what you were thinking about very much."

Lacing his fingers with yours, you two sat there for a matter of minutes as he gathered his thoughts together. When he calmed a little, he confessed. "I thought about what it'd be like t-to wake up right next t-to you and not be alone anymore. I-I think about it a lot."

"Oh." That hadn't been what you expected. However, was it really so strange? He had intended to propose months ago, but ever since the moment had been spoiled he hadn't attempted to try again; if it had gone well, you two might've been married by now. Though, who was to say he didn't dream of it? Of what he'd always wanted, of a family or of the life in which he needed? Perhaps gentle encouragement wouldn't hurt.

"You know," you responded with a serious, but gentle candor. "you're not the only one who thinks about us living together. I'm very happy here and I love what we do together. And although we've had times where we respected one another's space, I don't mind if that changes. However, there are things that aren't so simple. For example, if I would've known that I could borrow your clothes whenever I liked I would've done so more often. Though, only if you hadn't been concerned about me getting accidentally poisoned by chemicals or radiation. Remember that time you literally fought with the laundry?"

"I do remember," he answered wistfully. "it's what prompted me t-to teach you how to use the freeze ray and laser gun correctly."

"I think the longer we're together, the more our lives will intertwine. Meaning, the more we move forward, the more training I'm going to need to fit into this lifestyle of ours. I think I'm going to need a portable scanner that'll allow me to check your clothes before I think of putting them on."

With serious, but tender eyes, he studied you. Then, he picked up his sweater which sat between you two and wondered. "Y-you want to wear my clothes? A great deal of them have seen better days. Are y-you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure," you brightened. "because I love the way your clothes smell. If you were away, it'd make me think of you and it...I don't know, makes us seem more domestic. Is that along the lines of what you were thinking?"

"Y-yeah."

"Cool. Glad to know we're on the same page."

Relieved, he pressed a kiss to your temple and seemed ready for that cup of coffee. And as you stood, ready to head to the kitchen to prepare it for him, you mentioned. "And by the way, I gotta tell you something important."

"Gee, what is that?"

Striking a pose, you made him chuckle; that was a good sign. "That it's totally cool to be into me and check me out. I don't mind, and it makes me happy that I know what it takes to catch your eye. However, there's an exception: when we're driving around in space, where anything could kill us, we gotta keep our eyes on the space around us unless on autopilot. Only then," you winked. "might it be okay to be a little distracted."

Fin

[krizaland]

An idea i've had in my head for awhile now, what if when Zim first got to Earth, his s/o was the first one to introduce him to chocolate, if there wasn't anything like it in space?

Ooh! What an interesting idea! I actually headcannon that only the Tallest can have the really yummy snacks (i.e Chocolate, donuts, cake, cookies, name brand snacks, ect.) While everyone else gets stale chips and off brand snacks.

I also headcannon that Earth junk food is actually really good for Zim. Like it’s better for him than actual Irken food.

Ok so this fic takes place before Zim and Reader became a couple So it’s basically Zim finally being able to describe how he feels about reader.

Also this request reminded me of CHOCOLAT by Teddyloid. So I hope you don’t mind me including it.

“Come on! Come on! Where is it?! WHERE?!” Zim whined as he frantically ran around the park.

Ever since GIR had let Zim’s robot bee loose, Zim had been searching every nook and cranny for it.

Zim was on the verge of a breakdown when

“Hey, Zim. Looking for something?”

“LEAVE ME BE- Oh it’s just you” Zim blurted out as he put a hand on his chest.

“Yeah…Are doing ok?”

“Zim is fine! I’m just looking for my robot- I mean perfectly normal toy bee! Now leave me!” Zim stuttered as his PAK sparked a bit.

“Oh, well do you need any help-”

“Nonsense! Zim needs help from no one! Just go on and do your…Y/N things you do here” Zim interjected as he tried to shoo you away.

“Alright suit yourself.” You muttered as you went over to a nearby bench and sat down.

Zim tried to resume his search but kept getting distracted by you. Every so often he would peek over his shoulder and watch you type away at your phone.

Eventually, Zim couldn’t take it anymore! He decided his robot-bee could wait, right now he needed to be with you. Even if it was only for a moment.

He sighed as he plopped down next to you.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” You asked as you put your phone away.

“Eh? Um, Yes! I uh, sure did.” Zim lied as his PAK sparked a bit.

“Okay then, I guess..” You giggled as you pulled out a bar of chocolate from your jacket pocket.

Zim let out a gasp as his eyes widened in shock.

“How did you get that?!”

“Get what?”

“That! How did you get that rare delicacy?! Tell me!” Zim demanded as he gestured to your chocolate bar.

“Oh, you mean my chocolate bar? I just bought it at the chocolate store across the street” You mused nonchalantly.

“EH?! YOU INFILTRATED YOUR PLANET’S CHOCOLATE RESERVES AND SURVIVED?!” Zim yelped as he grabbed the sides of his head.

“Chocolate reserves? What? No! It’s just a store that sells chocolate-”

“FOOL! Chocolate is only reserved for the elite! Now! Tell me! Tell me how you managed to secure such a rare delicacy…” Zim’s voice quivered as he curled his fingers infant of his face.

“What the-? Chocolate is for everybody not just the elite! What kind of place only lets the elite eat chocolate- Oh wait! Sorry! I forgot you’re from another country! Do they really not let people eat chocolate where you’re from?” You asked as you gave Zim a sympathetic look.

“Don’t be ridiculous! Chocolate is one of the rarest snack foods in the galaxy! Only the elite are worthy of such confectionaries!” Zim announced dramatically as he pointed to the sky.

“What? Chocolate isn’t rare at all! I mean ok there are some brands that are a bit fancier than others but almost all chocolate is available for everyone to enjoy. Not just the elite.” You explained as you started to unwrap your chocolate bar.

Zim was about to respond but was distracted by you opening the chocolate bar.

“You’re opening that chocolate in plain sight?! ARE YOU INSANE?! PUT THAT DELICACY AWAY! QUICKLY! BEFORE YOU’RE NOTICED!” Zim screeched as he reached for your chocolate bar.

“Zim! Calm down! Look, I know chocolate is rare where you’re from but things are different here. Nobody’s gonna arrest me eating chocolate.” You explained as you kept the chocolate bar out of Zim’s reach.

“But you could be executed! Or left on planet..SLUDGE!” Zim shuddered and squeezed his eyes shut.

“What? No! Zim nothing bad is gonna happen to me for eating chocolate in public. I’ll prove it, see?”

Zim tried to stop you but it was too late.

You broke off a piece of your chocolate bar and popped it into your mouth.

“See? Nothing happened!” You reassured as you chewed.

Zim blinked in shock for a moment as he looked at somewhat-eaten chocolate bar before looking back at you.

“Mmm! So good! You have to try it!” You insisted as you broke off another piece and handed it to him.

As nervous as he was, Zim had always wanted to know what chocolate tasted like.

He remembered how the Tallest would always brag about how yummy it was and mock everyone else for not having some.

Zim looked around the park for a moment. No one seemed to even notice you munching on your chocolate.

Zim let out a sigh. While he would never admit it, he did trust you. You were always there for him when he needed you and you always protected him from Dib.

Zim figured you wouldn’t try to get him in trouble. Thus, he decided to give into temptation.

Taking a deep breath, Zim cautiously took the piece of chocolate from your hand. He gave it a sniff and let out a few chirps. What a delectable aroma! Most Earth food smelled vile but chocolate smelled amazing!

Without another second of hesitation, Zim popped the piece of chocolate into his mouth.  

What followed was pure bliss.

The sweet flavor of the chocolate gently kissed his tongue, as it melted in his mouth and gently slid down his throat. He didn’t feel nauseous in the slightest! On the contrary! He felt better than ever! His squeedilyspooch felt light as a feather as his PAK sparked a bit.

No wonder chocolate was considered a delicacy! That stuff was incredible!

Zim let out a purr as he let the taste linger in his mouth.

“Good right?”

The sound of your giggly voice woke Zim from his trance.

“Eh?! AH! Yes! Delicious! Delicious! Give me more…” Zim’s voice quivered as he reached for the rest of your chocolate bar.

“What’s the magic word?”

Zim sighed and dragged a hand down his face.

“Please?”

“That’s better” You giggled as you handed him the rest of your chocolate bar.

Zim quickly snatched the bar out of your hands and begun to greedily devour it, letting out a few excited chirps as he did so.

“I can’t believe they wouldn’t let anyone have chocolate where you’re from!” You giggled as you patted Zim’s head.

Zim jumped a bit at the sudden contact but calmed down when he realized it was just you.

“Heh. Sorry for the scare.” You took your hand off of Zim’s head.

Zim stopped eating for a moment and scooted closer.

“Do it again.”

“What?”

“Do it again…Please” Zim’s voice was laced with a slight plea.

“Um, sure thing.” You giggled as you begun to gently pet Zim’s head.

And with that, Zim resumed eating, this time he slowed down and took a moment to really savor the chocolate. He let out a purr as he unknowingly leaned on you.

Zim couldn’t believe he was so afraid to try chocolate! He was so worried about getting sick or worse in trouble. However when he finally tasted it, it felt like he had entered a state of pure bliss. The sweet flavor comforted him and made his worries disappear.

He never thought that an Earth food, or heck anything on Earth could possibly make him feel this way. Then in his state of chocolate-induced euphoria, Zim finally realized something.

The way he felt when he tried chocolate was the same way he felt about you.

Zim would never admit it, but he had grown quite fond of you. You were always so kind and patient with him. You respected his boundaries but made him feel so special!  

At first, he was scared he had gotten sick but over time he realized that wasn’t the case. These feelings while strange and scary, felt so sweet and pure.

For the longest time, Zim could never describe these strange feelings he had for you.

Now he could finally find the words.

To spend time with you was like eating a piece of chocolate. Although he would never admit it, Zim wanted to savor these feelings forever.

Zim soon found himself in a chocolate wonderland. As he explored his new surroundings, he came across a large chocolate pond.

SPLISH!

You gracefully emerged from the pond.

Zim blushed as you casually stepped out of the pond and gave him a warm smile.

“I see you before me. You see me before you. Never thought that I’d fall in love with you.” Zim sang as he gazed into your eyes.

“I will take your soul, if you take my heart.” You sang as you gently took his hands in yours.

“Fly away together, far away forever.” You and Zim’s voices melted together as you both sprouted chocolate wings.

“Chocolat Chocolat, you make me feel… Chocolat Chocolat, so sweet and pure…Chocolat Chocolat, I’ll savor this moment forever…” You and Zim flew into the chocolate sky and soared above the heart shaped clouds.

“Chocolat Chocolat, you make me feel… Chocolat Chocolat, so sweet and pure…Chocolat Chocolat, I’ll savor this moment, so take me to heaven or hell I don’t care where…” You and Zim danced atop the heart shaped clouds.

The two of you danced and swayed as you both gently descended to the ground.

Zim toppled over a bit but you quickly caught him. You then gently took his hand and begun to lead him though a chocolate park.

“I go to the park, wait for you to come. I believe in you. Only one is you…You will be my angel. I will be your spirit..” Zim sang as he continued to walk with you.

The Tallest appeared and started pointing and laughing.

“Look at him! He’s holding hands with a human!” Red chortled as he doubled over.

“Yeah! He’s so dumb!” Purple added.

BONK!

BONK!

SPLASH!

You chucked two chocolate balls at both Red and Purple, causing them to fall into another chocolate pond.

“It doesn’t matter what they say to us…”

“Chocolat Chocolat, you make me feel… Chocolat Chocolat, so sweet and pure…Chocolat Chocolat, I’ll savor this moment forever…” Zim gently took your hands and continued to dance with you.

““Chocolat Chocolat, you make me feel… Chocolat Chocolat, so sweet and pure…Chocolat Chocolat, I’ll savor this moment, So take me to heaven or hell I don’t care where…”

Zim begun to whisper a few things in Irken as he swung you around for a moment.

He was just about to pull you into a kiss when

“Zim? Are you ok?”

Zim awoke to find that he had not only finished his chocolate but was snuggling into you!

Zim let out a scream, jumped to his feet and ran all the way back to his base.

“What am I gonna do with him?” You sighed as you shook your head.

[nightcoremoon]

sing 2 was... actually good?

the music sucked (except for when it played system of a down and u2), obviously, and a lot of the VAs were *tugs collar* problematic and oof, and illumination's animation is as always very corporate plastic and risk-free, and the plot was simple to the point of condescension. exactly like the first one. it's not great, it's a far cry from amazing, but... it's inoffensive. it's ok.

edit- I'm so sorry prince I didn't recognize you because that was such a shitty cover, fuck you the weekend, I'm so sorry elton john I frankly just completely forgot that you were in it, I'm so sorry the yeah yeah yeahs but I just don't like you that much (it's your production, okay?), steve winwood I don't know any of your music but I respect the shit out of you as a guitarist, fuck you coldplay, I'm sorry the struts I usually like you but I just forgot that mediocre song was by you (but at least it was a song I didn't hate), I'm so sorry dionne warwick but I just don't have a clue who you are, ariana grande and zedd you're alright BUT ON THIN ICE, I'm so sorry phil spector but you shouldn't have been a murderer, and billie eilish... I respect you but I hate bad guy because it's so overplayed.

my expectations going in were, okay so it's a mediocre cash grab sequel to an already very forgettable movie that was only really saved by seth macfarlane being an actually incredible frank sinatra impersonator. yes the family guy man sings beautifully. but fuck him. anyway it wasn't my choice to see it, it was either do that with the family or sit in a house alone waiting for everyone to come back with only white-people tacos to keep my company [they're just premade hard shells, beef with powder mix, and shredded mex blend cheese on top, and put in the oven, so they can hardly be called tacos, but they're a popular meal with my dad side of the family]. so it was like, okay fine I guess I'll watch it, I might as well. I'm glad I did.

I did not expect this but I'm glad I watched the movie. but here's the thing. I didn't like the movie because of the movie. I'm not a casual. I'm just cringe.

I liked it because I'm furry garbage.

the pig lady is a milf, the gorilla boy is a cutie, the elephant girl is adorable, the doggo lady is hot, the wolf man is hot, the wolf lady is hot, the cat lady is hot, and the u2 lion man is a dilf. punk rock porcupine is also cool and I like her.

there are other reasons of course. there were amusing moments throughout that I genuinely laughed at. there was character development carried over from the first movie. there were some fantastic scenes dealing with the anxiety of the stage and the insecurity of going pro that were subtle enough to appreciate but not so much it beats you over the head with it. the ron swanson pig husband is such a sweetheart in the second one after being such a piece of shit in the first one. the gorilla using the exact same choreography as the cat did in her intro scene was so good. the waiting for guffman references were well done. there was no stupid bullshit "twist villain", it was just greedy prideful asshole wolf is exactly the kind of asshole you expect him to be and he actually faces realistic consequence for his actions (a lesser studio like disney would have made the hamster be the bad guy- NO BILLIE EYELASH SHUT UP STOP THAT SONG SUCKS STOP USING IT, I LITERALLY HEARD IT THREE TIMES IN THE TRAILERS AND MOVIE (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ ... okay I'm calm now) which were not excused. the sequence showing the backstory of the dead wife was on the same level as fucking Up, it was genuinely a really great scene. the whole ensemble cast was pretty well balanced. there was a forced hetero romance (ew) but it was actually really cute wtf? too bad it was pharell playing a teenager hitting on a teenager who was played by someone his daughter's age but eh oh well straggots are the way that they are. the film's visual storytelling was a knockout punch, unlike certain *ahem* recent pixar films which was just a pile of visual fluff and garnish. well at least encanto had original songs and not just gussied up shitty pop music that all sounds exactly the fucking same. anyway it was fine. clearly the people making it cared about it at least somewhat. they had fun. there was heart.

edit- oh yeah eric andre was great, and I always love peter serafinowicz's deep velvet voice.

*also can I gush over this studio's love of the toxicity album by system of a down and how I hope every single song in that album ends up in one of these movies? like, thank you so much unironically for introducing metal to kids, and especially from a band that actually is good and tries to spread awareness for shit like the armenian genocide, prison industrial complex, pollution & climate change, opioid epidemics, you know, important things. I hope there's a new generation of kids loving system of a down just as much as those at my age and older do.

the negatives aren't really there, anything bad I can say is that it was aggressively mediocre. it accomplished what it needed to. that may not sound like much but considering V. brinquedo exists, it's honestly not even the bare minimum. being mediocre isn't an insult here, it just didn't try very hard to be distinctive. but that is just illumination's brand. it's to be expected. and the good outweighed the mediocre. slightly. because it's subjective. and I'm a furry. if this movie was just Glee, and just humans singing, I would not give a single shit about it. but being about an anthropomorphic animal society just adds enough of a hook to make it stylistic but not enough to detract from the main plot. so it was more like bojack and less like zootopia. now I like zootopia but the social commentary angle was handled about as well as david cage handled racism in detroit- difference is disney made it for kids and cage made it for easily amused idiots who don't care about good game design (and gay autistic kids who kin connor). anyway at least this movie knew it wouldn't win woke points on the internet other than having nonsexualized female characters rather than "animals with tits". beatrix potter style furries.

but fuck the minions and fuck the german pig. annoying. at least nick kroll's dumb accent was important to the plot this time.

now I'm going to talk about my furry crushes.

no I don't give a shit about or remember their names. only their species and gender. call me racist, call me lazy, call me whatever you want. I'm not going to google their fucking names.

mommy pig- hot damn she thicc. just look at those thighs in the cheshire cat costume. oh my god. she had 100+ children and still looks tight as fuck. curvalicious. and she's a good mom! her husband is so lucky to have her.

gorilla boy- he is adorable and I'm glad that he fixed his daddy issues and has a good relation with his father now. his costume was badass and his dancefight scene was paid off really well. flippy boy clearly wore the dark wood grain ring after he got poisebroke but luckily he powerleveled his endurance so could still get the fast rolls, and he decimated that dude. it's probably the best stage fight real fight I've seen in animated media since beastars. wow furry media is underrated and great holy shit.

elephant girl- she is literally a teenager so this isn't a crush. instead I am adopting her. she is babby. I will let nothing bad happen to her. if you draw lewds of her I will actually kill you. :)

doggo lady- tall girl? TALL GIRL? tall girl. and she's a saluki, which is a great dog breed for anthro designs. and she's a meganekko. and she's a bitch (affectionate) with a heart of gold. she's simple but appealing. she's a good girl.

the wolf man- the hot villain I never knew that illumination needed because there are zero hot men in any of these films. until now. and now there's two. and they're both furries. oh no. anyway he's charismatic and literally murdery, so uh. sign me the fuck up. lemme conjugally visit you in prison please daddy, awoOOOOO!

wolf lady- a rich spoiled brat with daddy issues. she's also a total dumbass. that is sexy as fuck. granted I will 100% say that about every wolf girl, especially to grey wolves. but oh my god. princess on the streets if you know what I'm saying. I also love that she has actual depth! humility is a powerful skill to have; she showed it in spades. halsey is a phenomenal vocalist and brought a lot of heart to the character. no I don't care about the discourse, shut the fuck up. I'm saying I want to fuck a cartoon wolf girl, do I look like I care about any bullshit drama?

cat lady- she didn't get much screen time hence I forgot her while writing this but yeah she's cool and I like her. too bad letitia wright voiced her because ugh.

if bono was a lion- I like u2. I think they're a good band. I like a lot of their music. they're talented. I don't care about bono but I like u2. this post is not sponsored by the apple gang because that album sucked. anyway, so uh. I saw his design and thought oh okay he's a lion. that's cool. and then I saw he was built. not just buff but he's fuckin jacked. the man is... huge. and there's nothing sexier than a man who loves his wife. (the daddy pig is handsome but unfuckable because only the mommy pig can fuck him because they're in a loving happy marriage and I ain't no fuckin jolene). and uh, wow, bono's voice can be sexy as hell. this lion man stole my heart because his subplot was honestly the best in the whole fucking movie. when the ghost of his wife walked up next to him I felt real actual emotions well up inside my heart and also my tear ducts. also he drives a fucking motorcycle... WITH FLAMES ON IT. I don't even have ovaries and they are exploding. clay motherfuckin calloway (I only know his name since they said it like 20 times but also what a sexy name holy shit) is the sexiest lion man I've ever seen and he is probably the top of my furry man list. mister peanutbutter, sly cooper, legoshi, robin hood, t0ny the t1ger, you were once my top 5. but now you're my top 6. welcome to the family bono.

honorable mention: matthew mckoalannaghey is a good boy

anyway bisexual furries watch sing and enjoy.

everyone else... eh, you can skip it.

[i-found-your-shoe]

Where My Demons Hide - Part 2

[Sam Winchester, Reader, Dean Winchester; Eventual Sam x Reader]

Your sobs were muffled as you buried your head deep into Sam's heavy flannel shirt. He wrapped his arms around you and held you as you shook, patiently waiting for you to calm down. It took about 10 minutes, but you were finally able to catch your breath.

“I'm sorry.” you whispered, laying a hand on a particularly wet spot on his chest. “I fell asleep waiting on you. I - all I could see were the flames.”

Sam raised a calloused hand and gently wiped the tears from your face with his thumb. “It's alright. I heard you scream through the wall. Thought I'd better check on you.”

You furrowed your brow. “Thanks. I guess.. I feel like a terrible daughter. I thought my father was losing it. I - I never believed him… Never believed that something bad was going to happen.”

“Look, (y/n), it's… Normal. If this, hunting, wasn't my life, I wouldn't believe it either. I wouldn't believe that demons walked the earth. Or angels. Or monsters. You're not a bad daughter.” Sam got to his knees and rested himself on his heels. “You gonna stay under there all night or do you need help up?”

You smiled sheepishly and bit your lip. “I need help up.”

Sam got to his feet and reached out. You took his hand, still slightly damp from wiping your face, and let him pull you to your feet.

“There's a bar down the road. You wanna get a drink with me?” you paused. “Oh,I'm - I don't mean to be rude. You're probably exhausted.”

“I could use a drink.” There was that grin again. It was small. Barely there. Shy. But it crinkled his bright hazel eyes in just the right places.

Sam told Dean you were borrowing the car and let you give directions as the Impala ambled out of the parking lot. Once inside the bar, you had five hours until last call and you were determined to use them well.

Sam impressed you with the fact that he had been going to school to be a lawyer, as you both sipped your Jack Daniels slowly. You could see the disappointment in himself hiding behind his eyes when he revealed he had dropped out.

“Don't worry. I almost dropped out of Oxford.” you shrugged, draining your glass and holding it up to signal a need for a refill. “Stanford was lucky to have you while you were there.”

“I can't believe you went to Oxford. That's amazing. Really impressive.”

“Stanford is impressive, as well.”

The grin and chuckle. God, it made your knees weak. “I think Oxford is a little more impressive, (y/n).”

“Probably.” You winked at Sam as the bartender filled your glass. “I was actually aiming for a PhD in physics. But we see how that turned out.”

Sam motioned for a refill. His cheeks were a nice shade of pink, courtesy of Jack. “God, smart and hot. I'm impressed.”

You chatted for hours, the bar tab rising steadily with the minutes. Finally, you checked your watch. “Fucking hell. It's almost 2. We should be going.” you slid over your bank card and swiftly signed the receipt.

Sam stood and wobbled, holding onto the chair for balance. “I….cannot drive.”

“Let's walk.” you giggled. “we'll grab the car in the morning.” Sam waited while you let the bartender know that the Impala would be picked up first thing. He offered to call a cab, but you denied it, saying you were less than a mile away from your destination. Slowly making your way back to Sam, you took his arm. “Let's go, cowboy.” and the two of you swayed out the door, using each other for balance.

When you finally made it back to the motel, you paused at the door. “This may be incredibly forward of me.. And I promise no funny business… But -” you paused, your head suddenly swimming with more than the whiskey. Adrenaline and nervousness clawed behind your eyes and in your stomach. “I don't want to be alone while I sleep. I don't want -” you didn't finish your sentence but Sam understood, even in his inebriated state. You didn't want the nightmare to come back.

He silently followed you into your room and waited as you sat your key down on the night stand. Your room was a bit smaller than theirs. No couch, and only one bed. On the plus side, it was a king. On the minus side, you hadn't shared a bed with anyone in a long time.

“Um.. I'm gonna get changed.. You…. Make yourself comfortable.”

You eyeballed your suitcase. You weren't even sure what was packed in there and you were nervous to check. Finally, you gathered enough nerve to barely unzip the bag halfway and pull out the first shirt you saw. With eyes to the floor, anxiety rising in your chest, you made your way to the bathroom. When you returned to the room, you noticed Sam had discarded his jeans, shoes, and shirt and curled up under the blanket. Slowly, you crawled into the bed on the opposite side, and made yourself as comfortable as you could. It wasn't long before your eyes began to feel heavy and hot succumbed to a, hopefully, dreamless sleep.

You were awoken the next morning to your door opening and a deep voice saying “Well. Okay, then.”

Your side felt heavy and your nose was filled with an unrecognizable, but comforting, scent. You peeked out of one eye and came face to face with a chest - and a very interesting tattoo. You slowly began to realize that you had curled up against Sam in the middle of the night and he had wrapped an arm around you.

“I got coffee in the pot and a lead whenever you lovebirds are ready.” Dean stated as he left the room.

You sat up quickly and Sam rubbed his eyes. “I'm sorry. I've been told I'm a heat-seeking missile.” your cheeks burned red as he dragged his arm from around your waist.

Sam rubbed your arm, attempting to comfort you in your obviously embarrassed state. “As long as you slept well.”

“Yeah. I did.” You groaned as you stretched. “Fuck. I need coffee. With a touch of the hair of the dog that bit me.”

“I got you. Get changed and meet me next door. Dean can make motel coffee taste like actual coffee.”

You nodded and got out of bed, trying to pull your shirt down so you didn't expose your ass. If you did, and if he noticed, he said nothing.

You finally made your way over, after reaching blindly into your suitcase and finding a pair of yoga shorts, and rapped your knuckles against the door. Dean opened the door a crack and whispered, “you didn't use the secret knock.”

“I didn't know there was -” you blushed again.

“I'm messing with you, sweetheart.” he laughed as he opened the door and ushered you in.

“Sorry. I think I'm still a tad bit drunk.”

Sam raised his hand from his position on the bed. He was laying back with his legs over the edge and his other arm draped over his eyes. “I - I am still drunk.”

“Here. This’ll help.” Dean handed you a coffee mug and the sharp aroma of Jack Daniels smacked you in the face.

“Is there coffee in this?” you asked, staring at the mug.

“Eh.. A little.” Dean chuckled as he looked at your shirt. It was emblazoned with Princess Leia’s face and the words ‘A Woman's Place is in the Resistance.’ “Nice shirt.”

“What can I say? I'm kind of a feminist.” you shrugged, taking a long drink of coffee. “Oh, yes. That's what I needed.”

“Pfft, feminist, my ass.”

“Anything you can do, I can do better. And if not better, at least backwards and in heels.” You sat down on the bed next to Sam, and you must have jostled him because he placed his free hand on his stomach. “Sorry,” you muttered, but he waved you off, letting out a slow, deep breath and sitting up as well.

“Not hunting, sweetheart. Nobody hunts better than me.” Dean raised his eyebrow as he handed Sam a cup of coffee.

“What if you taught me?” you asked, eyes widening as Dean choked in his own coffee.

“I vaguely remember us talking about that last night. Didn't think it would be brought up first thing in the morning, though.” Sam groaned, taking a drink of his coffee.

“Listen, sweetheart. This job takes a lot more than just a pretty face. It's tough -” Dean interjected.

“I'm tough. Don't let the pretty face fool you, Angsty McBroodyArse, I'm more than meets the eye. I'm smart. I'm a quick learner. I'm a damn good shot. I studied Krav Maga for 12 years.” you glared at Dean and Sam raised an eyebrow. “The only shoes I own now are the combat boots I was wearing last night. You might not get me in flannel, but I look damn good in leather. And I live on four basic food groups; coffee, whiskey, bacon, and cheeseburgers.”

“I don't know what kind of pretty picture Sammy painted last night, but it ain't all sunshine, roses, and hookers. You give up a lot to lead a life like ours.”

“Please explain to me what I have left to give up. My only family is gone. My house is gone. I haven't had a job, friends, or a relationship in 4 years. I have nothing to lose. I'd go back to England, but I'm sure I need to remain stateside until I can get bank documents and insurance forms squared away. I have nothing but time and money, Dean.”

“Yeah, come on, Dean. What's the harm?” Sam asked, glancing at you sideways.

“Three months. Give me three months, Dean. That should be long enough for me to get down the basics, as well as some in-field experience. Plus getting my assets in order. If it's not working out in 90 days, I will go without a fight.”

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Fine. Three months. 90 days. Sammy, she's your problem, not mine. I don't teach.”

You squealed and jumped up to hug Dean. “Oh, bad idea.” you moaned, letting go of him to grab your head. You had stood up too fast and made your still-drunk self dizzy. You waited for the feeling to pass, and when it did, you opened your eyes and grinned at the boys like an idiot. “So, you said you had a lead?”