#it wasn't healthy but... it's healthier than the alternative. and for that i am grateful

[shalom-iamcominghome]

... We must realize how the behavior that we are attempting to throw away once helped to sustain us, and how it might help to sustain others somewhere down the line. In moving beyond what we recognize as a harmful behavior, we need to ask: "What did I learn? How did this behavior serve me?"

Each quality, even those that seem bad, contributed somehow to our self-preservation. It had good life-affirming purpose at one point, even if that is no longer true. In order to let go of such a habit, I need to give it a "testimonial," to send it away with my thanks. "I needed you, and there you were, and I thank you for it. And now, with full appreciation, I know that I no longer need you and I can send you away." This is different from trying to stamp it out. We no longer say, "I'm sorry I did this. I'm throwing this behavior away." We say, "Thank you, God, for this gift. I needed it then; I no longer need it now. I am returning it to the universe in the hope that it can help generate life elsewhere as it did for me."

-Jewish with Feeling, Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi. 2005, p. 173-174