#it was my hubris wasn't it- my greed.... -clenches hands on fists-

[darabeatha]

/ I DIDN'T GET HIM-

[memurfevur-archive]

The Snake Bit More Than He Could Swallow

Character(s): Omnius Dioxal, Athens Uyilst, mentions of Kulsot Amrida and Soliel Laambe (contrastparadoxx)

About: Tension between Kulsot and Omnius finally broke, and Omnius is left to reflect and make some big decisions. Fortunately, a friend comes to comfort him.

Word Count: 991

Omnius stared into the glass of golden whiskey in his hand. He wasn't appearing himself, rather his hair was disheveled and shirt was wrinkled, his collar uneven and his tie undone. He felt just as he had the day Kulsot died: empty, and overcome.

His greed and hubris finally got the best of him. Not the whole of him, no, he wasn't dead yet, though he felt like he was. Both Kulsot and his baby girl Soliel? The hive was too quiet, the bed too cold, and he already missed the sound of Soliel's pencils scratching at a sketchbook. They could be anywhere by now, somewhere on the road, far away from here.

The shards of a mask that Kulsot left behind mocked Omnius. The Teal didn't even get a choice between the mask and his love. The string tied around Kulsot's throat has finally been pulled taught.

This is what you get, he told himself, for loving someone. For being weak and vulnerable.

This was my own damn fault and I know it, he tried to reason back.

It all felt hopeless.

He pulled out his phone, tempted to text Masuni, but what would that do? Therapy won't bring the Mutant back. No matter the progress.

Then he scrolled to Athens' number. Kulsot had loved him, too, had he not? Omnius wondered how their undoing went, if Athens was faring any better than he was. He pressed the phone to his ear.

"Hey 0mni." There was the slightest quiver in the Purple's voice. Omnius sighed, guilty for the relief.

"Athens."

Several moments of silence were shared. The Teal had no energy to keep up his normally charismatic facade, and Athens was ever patient even in his own sorrow. The Purple knew it was Omnius' fault for both of their failed relationships, and he was allowing the other to grieve.

"...Are you available tonight?" Omnius finally spoke after what felt like an eternity.

"I Am."

"Could you please," Omnius had to swallow a lump in his throat. This was not the man he wanted to spend the evening with. He'd much rather it be Kulsot, but it would go without saying that would be near impossible now. "Could you please come... come over?" He paused, hesitated, but then it spilled out from him-- croaked voice and tears and all: "I don't want to be alone." It's dark without his family.

"I'm 0n My Way 0ut The D00r."

"Thank you."

He hung up then and fished in his pocket for something else: a wallet. He opened it, gazed on the pictures of his former matesprit and daughter, and tugged at another photo behind them. It was old and worn, slightly torn, captured in black and white. It was a group photo himself, Rutaci, Liahne, Stygia, and a few others. His eyes lingered on Rutaci, especially.

"Is this how you feel, ole friend?"

A part of him wanted to reach out to the Pyrite, to hold him as he used to hold Kulsot. Maybe, just maybe, there was some possibility for forgiveness, and they could all start again....

No.

He crumpled the photo in his hand, brought it to his lips, and sobbed. The wedding ring in his pocket weighed a little too heavy for his comfort, and the picture felt like he was holding a fist full of needles. Painful items. Painful memories. Painful realizations.

He would have to let Novalx go, get Rutaci's attention and leave them to him. Then leave. Leave Rutaci. Stop chasing his own tail. Let the prey be free. Just leave. Leave. Leave. LEAVE.

Omnius didn't know how long he was sitting there, photo clenched in his hand, his whiskey growing warm. He didn't move until he felt hands on his shoulders, and he quickly jerked out of the way, eyes wide.

"S0rry T0 Startle. Y0u Left The D00r Unl0cked."

Omnius blinked, then looked to the ground, "I did, just in case they--"

"They're N0t C0ming Back. I Kn0w Y0u Have A Hard Time Getting 0ver Things, But Trust Me 0mnius I've Been D0wn This R0ad With My 0wn Sister."

"Th-they're not coming back...?" His eyes shone; wet, pathetic, not at all the man Omnius usually is.

His gaze seemed distant then, as if he was drifting off into a world of his own. You don't need them, said the cold voice in his head. They're taking away your control.

But he didn't want control. He wanted his daughter in his arms. He wanted his man on his lips.

"How did you move on, from your sister?"

Athens eyed him thoughtfully, "I All0wed Myself T0 Feel Hurt. Then I Th0ught 0ver Why She Left. And I Tried S0mething New In My Life."

"Did you ever make peace with the man you used to be?"

"N0," Athens answered, "But I Can Rec0gnize My Willingness T0 Change And C0mpare It T0 What Has Changed, And Kn0w That It Is G00d En0ugh. N0t Perfect. But G00d En0ugh. And Then I D0 It S0me M0re."

He tilted his head in a bird like manner, a motion that had always amused Omnius, "What D0 Y0u Want T0 Change Ab0ut Y0urself?"

"...I want to be a man that Kulsot could want again."

"Mm. Y0u Are Already. But Wanting And Being Are Sadly Tw0 Different Things.

"So what do I do? You've always been better at this... emotion thing, than I have."

"Let Him G0."

This was said in such a way that Omnius was taken aback, as if the 'him' in question were a number of people. Well, perhaps it was; Kulsot, Initiate, Rutaci.... but surely Athens couldn't know the latter two? The Teal looked up at the Lilacblood, startled, but Athens gave no further answer to his question than that.