#it was all a brilliant plan to fulfil a prophecy and this explains why hela appeared and tried killing everything without motivation | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

worstloki · 4 years ago

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[Helheim]

Hela: Hello brother, what brings you back

Loki, crying: He didn't tell me I'm adopted! or jotun!!

Hela: on the bright side, ur not related to the #&!%er

Loki, wiping away tears: i tried so hard to be wortHY

Hela: as a warmonger his standards are not the best

Loki sobbing: ODIN IS SUCH A ^&%#ing &*^#%&*#^!

Hela: Well, you're not wrong

---

Hela, filing her nails: back so soon?

Loki: I decided to kill off the main character in the book I'm writing because I thought it'd spice up my autobiography a little

Hela: you're writing something?

Loki: I call it 'the tragedy of loki' and its a comedic parody about what a ^&%*ing hypocrite Odin is

Hela: I like the sound of that. Save me a copy?

Loki: Of course, I may have been stabbed through the chest but I've retained my manners and it would be only fitting for you to be gifted the original transcript.

Hela: its a play?

Loki: Yes, and in case you were wondering, its going to be commissioned by Odin himself :)

Hela: ooOOoooh metatheatrical elements. I like.

---

Loki: YOU TOOK HIS EYE!!

Hela: I thought it would add some irony

Loki, laughing: AND you were right! You went a bit off-script but it was dramatic and in the end Asgard burnt down and that's all I really wanted so thank you for playing along! Thor actually ASKED me to burn everything!!

Hela: eh. its not like the place deserved to stick around. Odin was a &*%^ing ^&%*er who ^&%@ing deserved his imperialist society to crumble.

Loki, nodding sagely: we did a good thing AND got the prophecy fulfilled. All in all a win-win situation.

Hela: Except for whatever happened after for you to end up here dead again apparently

Loki: ah, about that... Thanos killed me

Hela: Oh. Right. Him. Give me a second to pack and I'll head back to the world of the living with you

Loki: You'll help?!

Hela: well I guess I cant let him waltz around increasing traffic flow in my domain...

Loki: yes that would truly be horrible

---

Thanos: I. am. inevitable.

Thanos: *is impaled on a GIANT sword that came out of the ground*

Hela: Right so now that that's done I guess I should apologise for taking Thor's eye

Loki: It would be funnier if you pretended you were still evil, especially since the midgardians already think of me as a villain...

Hela, laughing: sounds fun.

Loki: we'll get something to eat - maybe shawarma? - and you can stare menacingly at them as they pretend they're not scared of fighting us

Hela: Shawarma sounds good. *pulling the gauntlet off thanos* do you want to do it?

Loki, putting the gauntlet on and snapping: I bet they'll still think i'm pure evil and planning to betray them even after bringing back half the universe

#time travels faster in Helheim so Hela finishing off her business and leaving with loki took about 5 hours which ended up being 5 years #she turns up just before thanos tries his second snap and kills him #loki and hela have been friends ever since loki first died in his youth #unlike most people he spawned in her throne room so naturally they talked #when she realised odin was raising ANOTHER kid badly enough to risk his life constantly trying to prove his worth she flipped #'so i guess im dead now' '^&%* NO you're going bAck right now and you're going to be YOURSELF and that's worth everything on its own!'#ragnarok was loki and hela purging Asgard of its military with the hope that they would change their values #it was all a brilliant plan to fulfil a prophecy and this explains why hela appeared and tried killing everything without motivation #hela had over a thousand years to realise odin raised her badly and she's moved on from following what he raised her to do (kill)#loki dies enough for them to meet often and when he does they get to diss odin together #odin: *dies*#hela and loki: ABOUT TIME!!#Thor crying: f-father--- he's really gone :'(((((( i don't- i don't think i can manage - i - i dont #hela would absolutely OBLITERATE thanos #Thanos: I do this for you lady death <3 #Hela: ew you didn't tell me he was purple #Loki: Must've forgotten that little detail #Hela: I hated him before but this makes everything so much worse #Loki: its easier if you try not to look at his chin... or face... or anything in his general direction...#Hela skewering thanos: I'm not letting him hang out in Helheim he can stay in Niflheim because i will not survive seeing mr. ugly again #Tony: whats going on #Loki: *winks at tony* wouldn't you like to know weather boy #peter: was that a vine reference :O #Loki putting the gauntlet on: Maybe...#Thor: brother you cannot put that on it will destroy you--#Loki: *is not destroyed*#Thor: HOW??#Hela: even if he could die... you realise he's wielded 2 of those gems before right? anyone with magic can use them without injury....#Strange: But it causes ME discomfort to use even the one at times--#Loki: I'm not a second rate amateur wizard like you Mr. Doctor

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