#it takes a roll on my mental health i swear

[mrazfellandco]

i think we have access to too much information, actually

[ithebookhoarder]

Special Delivery (Spencer Reid x F!Reader)

Description: Something's different about Reid and no-one knows what. However, a surprise delivery to the BAU may just have the answer...

Warnings: Food references, mentions of mental health, mentions of medical procedures, references to smutty behaviour, Spencer being adorable

Masterlist

“Ok. Am I the only one who’s noticed something’s different with Reid lately?” Morgan remarked, watching as the said boy-genuis made his way across the bullpen and over to his desk. 

“Yeah,” Emily hummed, watching the young agent over the rim of coffee cup. She had to admit it - as much as it annoyed her - Morgan was right; Spencer has definitely been acting different. If anything, she was surprised it had taken them all this long to say anything. 

Normally, they were all over each other the moment they noticed anything even remotely different about each other. Hell, she’d barely taken a step off the elevator, after getting an extra few inches cut off at her latest haircut, before the team were quizzing her about possible life changes and whether or not they needed to be worried about her. 

It was a hazard of working with profilers for a living; it was almost impossible to keep anything a secret. No wonder they were all intrigued and slightly confused by the fact that none of them had been able to pinpoint what was going on with their friend. 

The most notable difference was the gradual disappearance of the dark circles under his eyes. Reid also seemed happier in general, less quiet and reserved when talking to others, and it was starting to make agents talk. 

Morgan and Emily stood up straighter as JJ walked over to join the unofficial gossip session. She took one look at the pair and knew immediately what they were whispering about. 

“Are you talking about Reid?”

“Oh yeah,” Morgan grinned, “my money’s on him having finally found someone.”

Emily choked, seemingly as a result of inhaling her coffee at the grand statement. “What?”

“Oh, come on, Miss ‘super spy’. Just look at him,” he teased. “He’s been distracted. He’s all goo-goo eyed and he’s been leaving this place at a normal hour. Like… tell me that doesn’t scream ‘I got a date’.”

“What? It could be loads of things. It doesn’t have to be a date, right JJ?”

“He’s probably just happy. We’ve all been getting more sleep lately and our paperwork is non-existent at the moment,” JJ murmured, reaching past the pair of them to grab for the coffee pot. She was clearly doing her best to try and put this line of questioning to rest. She’d always been the first to protect the younger agent she now saw as a little brother. “Besides, we all know he’s not interested in dating, he hasn’t been since…. Well, you know.”

Morgan groaned. “But what about the secret texts, JJ!” he protested, ignoring the look Emily shot him in return. “He’s been glued to that phone of his and keeps giggling like a school kid. Then there’s the lunches! I know he’s always been organised and likes things a certain way, but damn. His lunches have been like next level - and actually healthy? And I swear he’s had jello like every day.”

JJ rolled her eyes. “You’re basing your profile on jello? Is that it?” 

“Well, no I mean… did you not hear the part about the texting and the taking secret calls and the fact he didn’t come out for drinks last night-”

“-Can’t we just be glad for him? Whatever is going on, it’s good for him. Let’s just drop it, ok? He’ll tell us when he’s ready if there’s anything to share.”

“JJ’s right,” Emily echoed. “Reid’s just … happy. End of.”

By the way Morgan frowned it looked like it definitely was not the end of this conversation, but he never got the chance to argue. In fact, he was interrupted as the main doors opened next to them and a rather lost looking receptionist hurried through. 

Normally, this wouldn’t have been worth noticing but all three of them spun around at the sound of him calling out the name, “Agent Reid? uh… Is Agent Reid here?”

“Oh, uh, here!” Spencer shouted, soundly vaguely like he was taking roll call. It didn’t help that he shot his arm up in the air too, almost falling off his desk chair as he lurched to his feet and hurried over. “That’s… that’s me - and it’s Dr Reid, but it doesn’t matter. How can I help?”

“Oh, uh, there’s a Y/N at reception for you,” the unfortunate messenger managed, gesturing back the way they’d came. “I told them to wait whilst I came to check with you as they’re not on your visitor list-”

Spencer didn’t even let the poor man finish. He was already racing for the door before the man had even made it to the end of the sentence. Needless to say, the others were quick to follow, with Morgan smugly boasting “told you soooo” as he went. 

There was no way on earth they were missing this and considering Hotch and Rossi hadn’t arrived yet it wasn’t like they were about to get their asses handed to them for missing their briefing either. 

Despite the amount Spencer had told you about the BAU, you were still surprised by how different the FBI offices were to what you’d imagined. 

The offices were larger and the sheer number of people walking about in suits and carrying a side arm made you feel even more nervous, and that was already a problem considering you were stood there wearing neon blue scrubs, embroidered with jungle animals on the pocket. 

You were like a walking, flashing sign, screaming ‘outsider - does not work here’.  Thankfully, you weren’t going to be there long. You were only swinging by on your way to work, hoping to catch your utterly perfect - and utterly forgetful - boyfriend, before the start of your shift. 

Speaking of Spencer, you had only been standing there for possibly five minutes when you saw him barreling through the doors towards you. 

“Hey, Spence-“

“Y/N? Honey? What’s going on?” he gushed, hurrying over and taking your face in his hands. You could see his wide eyes frantically scanning every inch of you, looking for some kind of problem or sign that you were not ok. “Is everything alright? What are you doing here?”

You felt your cheeks warm at the sudden display of concern, very much aware of the scene your wonderful boyfriend was making. Spencer wasn’t normally the most affectionate in public, preferring to save those rare moments for when the two of you were alone. The fact he was so worried about what might have brought you to the FBI on a Tuesday morning was touching and made your heart swell. 

“I’m fine, Spence. Don’t worry-” 

“Then what are you doing here?” 

“You forgot something,” you soothed, pulling back and reaching into your satchel. It was impossible to miss the way his face reddened as you pulled out a neatly labeled Dr Who Tupperware by way of explanation. “I’m here because you were in such a rush this morning that you forgot your lunch.”

“Oh.”

“Yes, ‘oh’,” you teased. “I couldn’t exactly let you go hungry so I thought I’d drop it off on my way to work. I don’t start till later as I’m covering Amelia’s shift as she’s visiting her sister in Boston, so I thought I’d swing by.”

Sure, Spencer was an adult and you could have let him just buy something from the cafeteria or order something in for lunch, but considering how much effort he had gone to to cook with you the day before you felt bad letting it go to waste. 

He’d been so proud of the way the recipe had turned out, following the instructions and your guidance with extreme precision and care. The result had been a rather tasty looking dish - and it had the added benefit of being healthy too. You were always worried that Spencer seemed to think fast food, like Pizza, was a food group. Then again, he had been forced to be an adult pretty fast and had been in college so young that it wasn’t a surprise that no-one had been there to teach him about cooking and eating right. He had been too focused on his studies to even think about anything else.  

It was something he had been working on since you’d got together and now cooking had become one of your favourite date night activities. It didn’t hurt that you often ended up spilling food all over yourselves and needing to shower together - it was just a lovely bonus. In fact, your screensaver was now a picture of you and Spencer, covered in flour, and beaming ear to ear. 

“Thank you, that… that’s so nice,” Spencer stammered, “but I feel bad. You didn’t need to go out of your way and bring it to me.”

“As I say, it’s on my way to work. It’s no trouble.”

“Well, still-“

“Hey, pretty boy!” 

Spencer froze. 

“You gonna introduce us to your friend, or what?”

Spencer opened his mouth but instantly closed it again. You knew by the way he rolled his eyes and began muttering under his breath that whoever had shouted that had definitely been talking to him. 

You couldn’t help but giggle. “Pretty boy, huh?” 

“Don’t ask,” he whined, taking a deep breath as you looked over his shoulder and saw a small group of people now making their way towards you. “I should probably mention that I wasn’t sure how comfortable you were with me mentioning you, so I haven’t told anyone about us yet and those idiots are some of my team and I would say ‘run’ but they’re all faster than me.”

“Ah… I see. So I’m guessing that one is Morgan?” 

“Yes.”

“Well, no time like the present,” you cheered, turning and waving at the approaching trio. “Hi. Nice to meet you. I’m Y/N - Spencer’s girlfriend.”

“Wow. A girlfriend?” cooed Morgan, reaching over to pull you into a hug before the other two could stop him. To their credit, they looked slightly embarrassed by the display but they were clearly too interested in your identity to care. “And a doctor to boot? Didn’t know he had it in him. I’m Derek Morgan.”

“Oh, I worked that out. It’s good to finally meet you all.” 

The others were quick to echo the sentiment, with JJ and Emily quickly introducing themselves in tandem. They were also quick to invite you inside the office for some coffee, but thankfully you weren’t lying when you said you had to get to work. 

“You know how it is. People to take care of, medical cases to solve, lives to save - same old, same old. All I’m missing is a snazzy badge and I could be an FBI agent.” 

“Ha ha.” Spencer’s smile was genuine as you stole a kiss before making a dash for your car. However, you could see the nerves in his eyes at being left alone to face the great inquisition that now awaited him following the discovery of your existence. You were pretty sure the entire BAU would know about you before it even hit lunchtime. “I’ll see you later, ok?” 

“Of course. Just let me know if you’re coming home or if you’re off saving the world in another state - otherwise I can’t promise I won’t eat all the leftovers before you get back.” 

He chuckled. “Will do.” 

With that, you bid the others goodbye, making sure to agree when they asked (more like insisted) that you came to their family dinner on Friday night at none other than Rossi’s house. The rest of the team were going to be begging to meet you after this, and they were all bringing their families along too. 

If Spencer wasn’t comfortable with you going you were pretty sure the team would believe it if you said you’d got called into a last minute surgery, but you’d check later when you both returned to the apartment you now called your home. Either way, you were going to have to make something to take with you, just in case. 

As your grandpa had always said, there was no quicker way to someone’s heart than through their stomach. Or, as in Spencer's case, with an unlimited supply of Jello...

[808airsoftbros]

My Scary Noona (Kim Gaeul) (BXG) (S)

Author: A requested oneshot by an anonymous user, if you are reading this I hope you enjoy it, and if you all want to see more of my stories check out my Masterlist.

Y/N's POV

"I swear to God Yujin and Wonyoung, your guy's room is always a mess!"

Hearing my Noona, Gaeul once again yelling at her members for having a messy room and Yujin and Wonyoung pouted trying to act cute to get out of their predicament.

But if I know Gaeul no tricks are going to work on her as she's the oldest and made them clean up. Of course, Yujin and Wonyoung reluctantly did so as we all knew not to mess with her.

Even if Gaeul isn't the leader of IVE, she is still someone you don't want to cross with and she'll make your life a living hell.

Meanwhile, I was in my room playing Helldivers 2, wearing noise-canceling headphones, I didn't hear much of the commotion outside until I smelled that same autumn perfume that Gaeul always wears.

The scent was strong like it was being held right at my nose and when I turned around I saw Gaeul right behind my chair and I gulped.

"Y-Yes, Noona...?" I gulped.

"You, you and I are going on a date, you're not busy right..?" Gaeul asked and I shook my head.

"No... Well maybe..." I chuckled nervously and she rolled her eyes.

"And what exactly is keeping you busy today? Sitting your lazy ass playing video games?" She sarcastically asked.

Without saying anymore, Gaeul tossed me clothes for me to wear, and ordered me to get dressed and meet her outside. I sighed seeing that my video game sessions ended so soon.

After I finished changing into the clothes that Gaeul gave me which was a pair of Addidas sweatpants and jacket, I wear a Vans black shirt and all complimented by Addidas shoes.

Coming out of my room, Gaeul gave me a small grin before taking my arm leading me out of the dorm.

"Will be out all-day girls, you all better not make a mess!" Gaeul announced and the girls nodded.

"Of course, Unnie... You won't have to worry about a thing..." Yujin casually says while on her phone.

"You better keep your word," Gaeul warned and we left the dorm.

Walking hand in hand out of the dorm into the cool autumn breeze, Gaeul took a deep breath and sighed relaxing herself after constantly yelling bossing around her members all-day.

"Noona, do you always have to be this strict?" I curiously asked and she huffed.

"Well, someone has to keep things in order, and besides you know how chaotic those girls can get right?" Gaeul pointed out and sighed knowing she was right.

"Yeah, I cannot lie, they do get crazy sometimes... Even for my own liking," I answered and she grinned.

"Aren't you lucky you have a girlfriend like me to handle them~? Otherwise, you'd go mad," She cheekily said and I chuckled.

Afterward, Gaeul walked me into her favorite ramen shop, the waiter guided us to our table and left us alone to decide what to eat on the menu.

Gaeul took her time looking over the specials and then at me with a small warm smile the same look when she knows exactly what I'm going to get. Though I do sometimes doubt that...

"Let me guess... The shoyu ramen?" Gaeul guessed and I was baffled at how she knew what I was getting and once again proving me wrong.

"How do you always know, Noona...?" I asked confused and she giggled.

"Because you always get the same thing every time, it doesn't take a detective to figure that out don't you think? Perhaps try something new for a change," She suggested and I sighed.

Gaeul knew I was quite a picky eater, it's always been like that since childhood which gave my family a headache trying to get me to try foods that I may or may not like.

Although I always hesitated food from my parents, Gaeul is the opposite case not because she's scary or threatens to shove it down my throat but because I was less reluctant and open because of her warm and caring personality.

Unlike others who only saw me as a failure, weak, and stupid because of my health and mental disorder, Gaeul was the only friend I have who truly saw me as who I am and accepted me nonetheless.

Sure Gaeul may scold me from time to time but I eventually learned that it was for my own good and I have a lot more to learn about relationships even if we've been together for a few years now.

"Well, well, I can't believe my eyes... It's the weird kid..." I heard a familiar voice I hope to never hear again.

Looking up I sighed to see Jackson and his gang walking up towards us, they're all idols like Gaeul, and she too was surprised to see them.

"Jackson? What are you doing here?" Gaeul asked raising an eyebrow.

"Darling, why else would we be here? We came to grab some food is all. What are you doing with him?" He asked and Gaeul rolled her eyes.

"Jackson, this is my boyfriend Kim Y/N, we were on a date and we would appreciate if you didn't interrupt our quality time together," Gaeul answered and he seemed surprised before laughing his ass off.

"Boyfriend? Are you serious? You're a famous idol like us and this guy is who you choose? I mean come on you're better off dating some rookie guy from a shitty company instead of him, don't you think?" Jackson asked with a hint of mockery and I looked down not daring to look at him.

Gaeul on the other hand was furious about his words and immediately stood up before him almost as if she was ready to fight him as her fists was closed tightly.

"Take. That. Back." Gaeul warned coldly glaring at him but Jackson only sneered.

"Or else what? He's worth nothing and you are stooping so low dating him," Jackson replied and Gaeul scoffed.

"Oh please, that's quite rich, you always think you're so high and mighty because you walk over people to get on top, you always exploit, bully, and extort everyone to make yourself feel like the king of the world, but no, it's pathetic. Just admit it, Jackson, you're nothing but a goddamn coward," Gaeul coldly spoke to his face and he was livid.

"You fucking bitch! You dare speak to me like that to your senior?! Did you ever learn respect for people like us?!" Jackson angrily asked gripping Gaeul's collar tightly shooting her a deathly glare but she wasn't fazed one bit.

"Oh, I do... But you're not worthy of my respect unless you apologize to my boyfriend and recognize putting down others only makes you a weaker man," Gaeul retorted and Jackson lost it.

Jackson's anger took over him as he raised his fist to deliver a punching blow but he froze a painful sensation was felt in his groin from Gaeul kicking his balls causing him to let go of her collar as he groaned in pain.

Gaeul didn't even give him time to react, she grabbed his shoulders before delivering a cross punch to his jaw knocking him on the floor.

"Get up," Gaeul sternly demanded.

Jackson limply got back on his feet but it wasn't for long as Gaeul delivered a heavy front kick to his face knocking him down and she scoffed almost pitying how weak he was.

"Get up," Gaeul demanded once more.

Jackson's friend stood back not daring to intervene, Jackson tried to get up but it was harder as his body was sore and devastated from Gaeul's punches and kicks to his face and groin. Again without warning Gaeul slapped so hard that everyone in the restaurant heard it and he crashed into the wall and fell down groaning in pain.

"Not so fun when you're the one that's helpess, isn't it?" Gaeul asked sternly.

"Y-Your fucking insane..." Jackson weakly said and catches his breath.

"Well, that's what happens when you mess with one's boyfriend, I'll let you go but mess with my boyfriend again and I won't be so merciful and I'll do everything in my power to ensure you suffer for all of eternity, got it?" Gaeul warned and Jackson looked down in defeat.

"I understand..." He weakly groaned.

"Good, now you roaches get out of my sight!" Gaeul ordered pointing at the door and the boy quickly ran out of the restaurant.

Letting out a huff trying to calm herself down, she walked back to the table and sat down in front of me as the waiter comes back to take our orders.

I ordered my usual while Gaeul ordered the special spicy beef ramen, the waiter writes it down and leaves us for now. Shortly after, the waiters returned with our ramen orders.

Trying the new shoyu ramen recipe was absolutely immaculate despite the major change proving that not all changes in my picky habits are necessarily a bad thing to occur.

After we finished eating, we head back to the dorm to see the girls mostly asleep with Leeseo hugging Rei and Wonyoung and Yujin cuddling one another.

"Aww~. How adorable is that darling? But you know that means... right?" She whispered into my ear sending shivers down my spine knowing exactly what she means.

"Are you sure, Noona?" I nervously asked keeping my voice down to not disrupt their slumber.

"Do you know how long I've been craving you~? I haven't gotten your juicy cock inside of me for weeks... And I want it now," She seductively purred.

Without wasting time, Gaeul dragged me into my room closing the door before locking it, she shoved me into the bed and crawled towards me like a hungry tigress about to devour her prey.

The look in her eyes would make any man shit his pants as there was no escape for me as Gaeul cornered me on all sides as she pinned me down with her strong grip.

"Hmm... Where to start first~? So many ways~," She wondered as she licked her lips thinking of all the unholy things to do with me.

Taking some time to ponder on her first move, she smirked before going to my ear, her lips just inches from my neck as she nippled my earlobe a bit sending jolts of excitement and nervousness.

"Why don't you be a dear and take off my clothes~," She whispered and I nodded.

Sitting up I reached my hands on the straps of her dress pulling them aside and slowly pushing it down revealing her black laced bra and panties barely covering her assets.

"You like what you see don't you~? My body is just perfect for you baby~," She said in a husky tone and she bit her lip as she began working on my pants to free my erection.

Gaeul slides my pants off along with my boxers revealing my 9 inch dick making her lick her lips and biting it as this size was more than perfect for her.

"God, the words cannot describe how much I miss having your cock inside of me..." She muttered as she went down taking my length into my mouth.

Feeling her warm mouth and tongue swirling on my cock felt so amazing as always, Gaeul always knew all the buttons to push on me, and in turn, I'd pound the shit out of her.

Gaeul began bobbing her head faster and faster making me moan as I grab her hair as she began deepthroating me and soon enough I was reaching my limit but she wasn't stopping.

"Fuck... Noona I'm going to cum..." I warned and Gaeul took my cock out of her mouth before opening it wide sticking her tongue out as she used her hand to finish me off.

Almost instantly, I shot my line of cum onto her face most of it ending up on her tongue and she purred as she licked the cum off her lips and fingers.

"Mmm~. Thank you for the meal baby but now it's your turn~," She spoke in a commanding tone as she gestured me to take off her undergarments.

Obeying her commands like a good boy, I unclip her bra revealing her perky and luscious boobs, and slid off her panties revealing her perfect shaved womanhood.

Diving into her pussy I began eating her out making her moan my name as she wrapped her thighs around my head pushing herself onto my face more.

"Fuck baby~. Such a good fucking boy eating mommy out~! Keep this up and Mommy will treat you~," Gaeul wickedly grinned as she kept moaning as I eat her out.

Inserting my tongue inside of her not getting enough of her tasty juices she moaned louder as I began hitting her g-spot with my tongue and I feel her walls tightening.

"Shit baby~! I'm going cum and you better not waste a single drop..." She warned and she squirted all in my mouth despite her strong thighs tightly wrapped around my skull.

When Gaeul unwrapped her thighs she opened my mouth making sure I swallowed every drop of her juices and she smiled wickedly.

"Good boy, you didn't waste a drop and mommy is very proud of you~. Now it's time for your treat~," She praised.

She went on all fours displaying her firm and rounded ass to me and her glistening pussy and teasingly twerks inviting me to take her.

I didn't waste any time getting up aligning my cock to her pussy and slamming inside making her yelp as she didn't expect me to enter so abruptly but she didn't seem not to like it one bit but rather the opposite.

"Shit baby! You want me so badly don't you~?" She teasingly asked and without hesitation, I began fiercely pounding her pussy giving her my answer.

Gaeul moaned loudly as she gripped the sheets of the bed tightly as I rammed her like an angry bull and took out all my sexual desires and love on her.

The tightness of her pussy of my cock and the feeling was heavenly and I went all out to ensure Gaeul is pleased and happy with me.

"Fuck! Fuck! Just like that!" She screamed as I began hitting her g-spot with my cock nearly penetrating her.

Picking up the pace, I grabbed her ass as support as I pounded her faster and deeper making Gaeul nearly scream in ecstasy and slightly worry if I was going to finish too fast.

But I managed to hold my ground as I knew this was all out of love and our desires of one another, Gaeul was the only woman I'd ever want to share this rough lovemaking with.

Time was lost in our minds and before we knew it, we were both getting to our edge.

"I'm so close baby~!" Gaeul yelped.

"Me too... I don't know if I can hold it much longer!" I replied as I continued pounding her.

"Do it! Don't hold back! Let's do it together!" She demanded and I came deep inside of her as Gaeul squirted all over my cock.

After the massive orgasm we collapse onto the bed exhausted and sweaty from our passionate lovemaking. Gaeul gave a weak smile as she was catching her breath.

"That was amazing, baby... Better than I can imagine..." She whispered as she caressed my cheek.

"Y-Yeah, it was because of you... I'm the luckiest man to ever be with you," I replied as I hugged her pressing my face against her boobs and she giggled.

"No, honey, I'm the one who is lucky to have such a cute boyfriend and I can never ask for a better partner," She replied and sighed contently as she began playing with the strands of my hair.

"I love you, Noona..."

"I love you too, baby..."

[multicohn]

summary: fans have been asking for lando’s gf to appear on stream with him and she finally gives in

warnings: none

pairing: fem! reader x lando norris

genre: fluff

face claim: no one

author note: y/n is bad at video games in this, sorry if you’re good at them

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

lando had never been more excited to start streaming and it definitely showed as he greeted fans with such excitement they’ve only seen from him after a good race. meanwhile, y/n sat beside him ( out of shot ) and nervously fiddled with her fingers.

“today-“ he clapped his hand together and y/n jumped which made him look over and laugh a little, “-sorry, so, i got a special guest with me and gave her a bit of a fright” lando then pulled y/n chair into view which made the stream chat explode

“FINALLY”

“Y/N ON STREAM OHMYGOD”

“YES (SHIP NAME) CONTENT WE LOVE TO SEE IT”

y/n smiled and waved to the camera while lando loaded up the game. he discussed that she would be playing a few games by herself and that he’s just here for moral support, y/n leaned into him before reading some comments out loud as they waited for the game to load.

“how did we meet?” lando coughed and looked away embarrassingly as y/n smiled

“he needed a jump start and i was the only one with cables, he said he’ll buy me a coffee as a thank you and had the employee write his number on the bottom of my cup-“ y/n started laughing, “-i didn’t even know and threw the cup away, but we met again and this time i needed a jump start. he asked why i hadn’t called and i was like ‘i don’t have your number’, ‘i had the café guy write my number on the bottom of your cup’, ‘oh, i didn’t even know and threw it away’ then he made sure that i had his number in my phone”

“i mean, seriously, why didn’t you check?”

“why would i?”

“…well, you just should’ve” y/n rolled her eyes before pressing start

it was chaos.

“GO LEFT! LEFT!”

“SHUT UP, I’M SCARED”

“RUN! RUN!”

“WHY AM I SO SLOW?”

y/n sunk down into the chair as the words ‘GAME OVER’ popped up onto the screen.

‘this is why i didn’t want to do this” she sulked while lando switched over to a different game

“can i just quit?”

“chat, can she quit?”

“NO”

“ITS OKAY Y/N I ALSO SUCK”

“PLEASE NO YOU REPRESENT US WHO GET SCARED EASILY”

lando gave his girlfriend a smug smile and it took everything in her to not whack it off his face.

y/n has never been very good at video games, preferring to play easy ones like the sims or even roblox. lando didn’t care much about it, finding her asking questions about the games he plays comforting, especially when he’s stressed. lando would also let her take control when he had a simple task to do or ask for help when having to pick a hard decision. it’s nice just having y/n by his side — even if she wasn’t paying attention to what he was playing.

“lando, i swear if this is a horror game”

“nah, it’s not”

• • •

“GET AWAY FROM ME”

“THROUGH THE VENTS”

“LANDO I’M SCARED”

“JUST KEEP RUNNING”

“WHERE DO I GO?”

“LEFT”

“AHHHHH”

despite y/n making a fool of herself, fans absolutely loved it; lando bursting out into laughter every few seconds while she yelled at him for help, y/n leaning away in case of a jump scare, her trying to leave and lando pulling her back, them both laughing after y/n died and her trying to tell lando off while laughing herself.

“it’s okay, baby. we’ll be losers together” y/n pouted as he hugged her, the screen showing the words “YOU DIED” again

“let’s end it here, i don’t think my mentality can take anymore” lando smiled and kissed her cheek before letting her go

“okay, chat. for the sake of y/n’s mental health, we’ll be ending it here. thank you joining and she will be back-“

“no”

“-she will! don’t worry guys!”

“lando-“

“bye, chat!”

“you little-“

[jsprnt]

your vacation with your best friend doesn’t go as expected

jude bellingham x childhood best friend! reader

A/N: tuesday became thursday, but it’s up now!! based on this request!

W/C: 2.534

"wait for me! why are you walking so fast?!"

you shout, hurrying up and fastening your pace to match your best friend's younger brother's, jobe.

the white sandals on your matching white-polished feet, click-clack against the ground in repeated noises.

to some it would sound absolutely horrendous, it attracted attention from your surroundings. the sudden attention would make some squirmy, making them walk slower or even freeze in their spot.

to you, it was the sound of heaven. clicking flip-flops or sandals against the ground meant: warm weather and, of course, being on vacation.

"not my fault you're so much shorter.." the younger boy complains, black sunglasses framing his face- accompanied by his attitude, it made him look even more sassy.

"do jude and you, like- practice the same sentences or retorts?" you question, panting when you’re finally walking side by side.

"mhm, we have a whole book.." he hums sarcastically, and you swear you can see him roll his eyes through the black shades.

"of course, expected from the brothers who brainstorm instagram captions together.." you giggle at the memory, recalling the wrinkles and frowns on their face from overthinking so much. only for the final caption to be a single word or emoji..

"you don't understand.." jobe mumbles, throwing you a glance.

"it has to be absolutely perfect, it gives .."

"aura."

"aura.." you say the same word in unison, giving him a grin.

"yes, that book probably exists.."

"whatever, just come in..."

"I'm right behind you.." you speak, playing with the plastic bag in your hand as you both stand in the elevator. going up to your hotel room floor.

the white, tacky printed plastic bag was evidence of your quick aloe vera run to the local spanish pharmacy.

you knew, no matter the melanin in a persons skin. sun protection and after sun care were essential for everyone's health and wellbeing.

of course, jobe was nice enough to accompany you. in case you'd get scammed into paying twice the normal amount as a foreigner- who definitely didn't speak a lick of spanish.

well, jobe wasn't a pro either. though, his google translate expertise is always very welcome.

"okay, be ready in 45.."

"only? who said that?" you question, mentally calculating how you'll shower, do your makeup, and fix your hair in that time frame.

"jude just texted me.."

"isn't he the one who takes like an hour to do anything?" you scoff, pulling your room key out of your handbag.

"I don't know, y/n. would you be so kind to hurry up.." jobe gives you a fake smile, pushing you into your room.

"I'm gonna kill him if he's any later than me!" you exclaim, shutting your door.

you take a quick breath, quickly moving around your hotel room. you had your outfit and shoes picked out already, so you could speed through your routine without worrying about that.

you use every single minute properly, swinging your door open right at the 45-minute mark.

you adjust your dress, looking out your door to see both jude and jobe, leaning against the wall. jobe face deep into his phone.

"so.." you say, eyeing them carefully. though, your eyes stay glued on your best friend, jude.

the beige, linen shirt, complementing his, vacation bronzed skin tone perfectly. with his sleeves rolled up, you can feel your face heat up more than the current marbella weather.

just like, when you'd received a fat kiss on the cheek from a nine-year-old jude, back in year four, when you'd finally passed your time tables after trying so hard.

"you guys look nice, stylist?" you inquire, looking them up and down.

"all us.." jude chimes, proud smile on his face. eyes crinkling as the corners of his mouth curl up.

"mhm, improved.." you mumble, stepping out of your room and shutting your door. quickly tucking your room card in your clutch.

"okay, but you've improved so much. remember you almost died for those led, light-up sneakers? and now you're wearing high heels to go out.."

jobe pretends to shed a few fake tears, making you roll your eyes.

"come on, if we start talking about a fashion terrorist. you're number one on the list, before you even had a stylist or all this.."

"can't lie about that, man.." jobe laughs, already following you to the elevator. you don't notice the lingering eyes on you, jude's eyes stuck on your back.

eventually, after quite a cute taxi ride, with the driver coincidentally being a madridista, you arrive at the beach club. sun beaming down on your moisturized skin.

you quickly become busy with everyone around you, tipping back drink after drink.

you'd never been much of a social person, at least not before jude started dragging you to different parties or vacations.

I mean, it was difficult for you two to be apart from each other for so long. despite the fact that you lived so far from each other lately.

when you'd met back in primary school, at age six. your parents knew you would be joined by the hip for the rest of your lives.

playing in the sandbox, and building sand castles went to taking up football together. only for you to fall out after picking up a different hobby. while jude grew a sudden affection for the sport, making it his life goal to succeed in the football industry, just like his idols.

his focus and passion for the sport definitely stretched you both apart for a while. only for you guys to grow a stronger bond when he told you about his move to germany, to sign with bvb.

you became a busy university student, trying for the life of you to understand the effects of a torn acl for your next anatomy exam.

an aspiring orthopedic surgeon and a successful football player, made an interesting duo of friends.

you swirl the cosmopolitan in your hand, watching the pink liquid move in the clear glass with sudden interest.

you slowly pull yourself from your half-drunk trance, looking to your left, when you hear your best friend's name being shouted by an unfamiliar, shrill voice.

you watch as a blonde, fully made up lady touches jude on his shoulder. the light, but intimate touch makes you squint. a sudden ache starting to settle in your chest when you watch her perfectly manicured nails scratch against the fabric of his shirt, sleeves tight around his veiny biceps.

you clench your eyes closed, a sigh leaving your mouth before you move your head away from the sudden, torturous sight.

when you look down, you immediately notice your plain, stress-bitten nails. the sight is unsettling, though familiar- with all your exams, and your parttime job, piling stress on your body.

you run your fingers down your thumb nail, wishing you could fully enjoy your early twenties like the girl who just jumped into the pool, wearing the prettiest mini dress, without a care in the world. Or, like the other girl, who's mingling around, sniffling out a potential kiss or cuddle for the night.

you flicker your gaze back to jude, his hand going over to stabilize the blonde bombshell in front of him. keeping her up with a hand on his back, and a handsome smile on his face.

you bite your lip unconsciously, drawing blood when the girl smiles back. the blood mixes with your glittery gloss, making you swipe your tongue down your bottom lip.

jealousy, or whatever this was- it made you sick, nauseous. you tip your drink, the rest of the liquid entering your veins with fire.

love wasn't a first come, first serve..

you get up from your little seat, being back at the bar in no time to get yourself another one to soothe the burn and ache in your chest.

"y/n?" you look to your left, making eye contact with a relaxed-looking jobe. a can nursed in his right hand.

"you shouldn't drink, you're a baby.." you mutter, drunkenly ordering yourself a water.

alcohol cleaned up wounds right?

yes.

but, not emotional ones..

seeing jobe, so calm and collected, brings you back from your mental breakdown.

you knew, even with your common sense hanging by a single thread. your current predicament would never, ever switch up suddenly- just because you're actively damaging your liver.

"I'm above eighteen, 'member?" jobe speaks, eyes on the way you're sipping on your room temperature water.

"still a baby.." you mutter, giving him a look from above the rim of your glass.

he shivers, even with the weather reaching record temperatures, your scolding look scares him a little.

"mood swings? you were so jumpy and happy in the car.."

you groan, discreetly moving your head so jobe can see the sight you are being tortured with.

"he's literally just talking.."

"he's touching her everywhere.." you groan, looking up at jobe.

the younger boy knew about the way you secretly admired his older brother. it was difficult to hide after he'd stumbled upon a random note in your notebook when you were seventeen, containing pros and cons about dating jude, written by you.

you were so gone, the cons list was emptier than a pigeon's nest.

"he's not touching anyone, like at all. actually he's walking towards us.."

you gasp, eyes going wide as ever as you raise your head. afraid to look behind you in case he's right there.

"if you're lying, I-"

"what's all this? talking shit without me?"

you do a silent prayer, closing your eyes for a second before twisting your bar stool around.

you gasp when your chair wobbles, sudden, muscular arms wrapping themselves around your waist to keep you sitting down.

"you okay? drunk already, darlin'?"

you almost whimper at the nickname, clearing your throat when you jump out of your initial shock.

"mhm, had some water just now.."

torture, torture, and torture..

you clench your teeth uncontrollably, resting face looking something like you're about to explode..

"you don't look okay.." he mutters, bringing his hand up to cup your face, checking your temperature with his palm. 

"I'm fine.."

You shove his hands off, looking away. you try to keep your emotions at bay, the strings of your patience on the verge of snapping violently.

"I need- to go to the restroom.." you finally squeak, getting up and brushing shoulders with an incredibly confused jude.

the interaction garners a couple looks, and jobe immediately nudges jude. realizing he could become the match maker of the century..

"follow her, come on.." he urges, pushing his older brother away.

"I mean, did I say something wrong? Or did I do something bad?"

"go.."

the single worded response by jobe, has him following you. hot on your heels.

you gasp when you feel a sharp tug on your arm, getting pulled into a small room, right next to the staff room.

you blink, opening your mouth to scream bloody murder, but stop when you hear jude's voice.

"it's me, you're okay.."

he mutters quietly, and you can hear him rummaging around. finally, his hand makes contact with the light switch. the very dim light, making it possible to see him.

"what was that back there?" he questions, and just like the other occasions you've witnessed him being confused or angry, his accent thickens.

brown eyes stare into yours, and you shiver before looking away.

"said I'm fine, jude.."

"you cannot fool me, y/n. we've shared too many years together for me to not notice when you're not acting right." his hand reaches for yours, and you let him. like a love sick fool, you allow him to cross boundaries and enter your portal of comfort.

"you must like her, go ahead and date her.." you finally speak after a long silence, making jude's hold on your hand tighten.

"who?" he breathes, knotting his brows together with a frown. his heart begins thumping harder in his chest.

"the woman you were talking with..

you can feel immense embarrassment brewing in your chest. your breath shaky as you look back into his beautiful brown eyes.

"the woman I was - how does that indicate I like her? I can't talk with a woman, just because?"

you close your eyes in humiliation, biting your lip.

"is that not what it was?"

"chatting with a random person does not mean I fancy them.."

you clear your throat, no turning back now.

"oh, how else do you start showing you fancy someone? standing there like a robot?"

"you're unbelievably stupid.."

"I'm stupid?!" you question, voice high as your eyes widen in surprise.

your breath hitches when you feel a hand on your cheek, again jude's hand is warm. soft but his hold is rough around the edges. making sure you're looking directly into his eyes.

"you're so stupid, in the fifteen years of us knowing each other. have you, ever thought of why I've never brought a single girl home? introduced a girl as my girlfriend to you? to my parents even?"

your jaw closes, not a single peep leaving your lips.

you can feel his thumb rubbing soothing circles on your cheek, it gives you goosebumps instantly. your eyes not leaving his for a millisecond.

"now you won't even speak.."

he sighs, moistening his plump lips with the tip of his tongue.

the sight lures you in fully, the look of longing in your eyes, mixed with an unknown feeling of euphoria.

jude notices the eyes, those eyes made him melt every time he saw you. since the age of fourteen, you'd been the sole person who'd occupy the romantic emotions in his very heart and soul..

it's his cue, he thinks. this is it.

you're incredibly jealous, or sad he thinks. the way you're looking at him, all allured and eager.

without even realizing it, your lips inch closer. soft, warm breaths hitting each other's, makes you almost whimper. his hold on your jaw tightens, and he presses his plump lips against yours in a fervent kiss.

your hand reaches up to his bicep, the muscles on display the entire evening- tensing up under your needy touch.

he groans into the kiss, both eyes fluttering shut in relief.

a hand travels down to your waist, pads of his fingers making contact with the exposed skin on your midriff. softly running his hands down your burning skin.

he pulls back for air, your foreheads touching intimately as you both pant. lingering smile on your face when you look up at him.

"I love you and your pretty mouth, but next time don't jump to conclusions with this smart brain of yours.."

you chuckle. initial shock gone, earlier anger and frustration washed away by the single touch of his lips onto yours.

"I know, I'm sorry. I- I love you too.."

the words feel foreign falling from your lips, especially with knowing who's on the receiving end of your receptieve answer.

"why don't you just help me get used to your taste?”

he tilts your head, pressing a soft kiss against your temple.

after years of crushing, right now, within a heartbeat, he's yours.

[bookshelf-dust]

kiss it better

steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 3,176

warnings: swearing, sick fic (sorta), steve not taking care of himself, anxiety, stress, mental breakdown?, best friends to lovers deal (let me know if i missed something)

a/n: hi! it’s been awhile. i’m sorry about that. this has been a very slow process for me. my mental health is shit, and that’s probably obvious. i hope it hasn’t seeped into this too much, but it probably will with the next few things i write. i apologize for taking so long to post, for disappearing, for not really making this the blog it once was. but i’m not the same person i was then. so we’ll see where this goes. i hope you enjoy this one a little. i love you.

————

The shrill sound of a phone ringing scares you awake, eyes flying open, heart pounding so aggressively you fear for a split second that it might burst. 

You sit up quickly, enough so that you make yourself dizzy trying to get your bearings. You roll onto your side, and reach blindly across the edge of your nightstand, grabbing for the green plastic that’s shaking with the force of which it’s ringing. 

You almost fall out of bed, just managing to catch yourself as you bring the phone to your ear. 

“Hello?”

Your voice comes out weak, thick with sleep and the longing for more rest. It startles you and makes you clear your throat. 

“Hey, it’s me.”

The voice on the other line is even weaker than your own. It’s quiet.

“Steve?”

Your eyes find the alarm clock on your dresser, bright red letters telling you it’s just after one in the morning. You might be half-asleep, but you’re conscious enough that your heart rate picks up, registering that this isn’t when your best friend normally calls. 

You hear him breathe, along with some shuffling. He’s nodding his head, but realizes you can’t see. 

“Yeah. Listen,” he drags a shaking hand down his face. “I’m sorry to call so late.”

“Hey, it’s okay. What’s the matter? Is something wrong?”

He goes quiet for a moment, but you wait patiently for him to continue. He must be trying to get something out, and you don’t want to pressure him, or cause him stress in any way. 

Steve huffs, frustrated with himself. 

“I-I’ve got an insane headache, and we’re out of goddamn medicine. My parents were here, and my mom was hungover and I guess she must’ve emptied us out, but it hurts too bad to drive, and…” He trails off, breathing heavily. 

His pause lends you a moment to process, and you decide to speak up. If his head is killing him, you know finding the energy to speak to you, let alone call, has to be draining. You wouldn’t want him to suffer anymore than he already is. 

“Stevie?” you start, happy to hear a small hum that encourages you to go on. He registers what you’ve called him, something you don’t call him often, and his chest aches. “I’ve got some I can bring you. I think all the drugstores nearby are closed.” 

You swing your legs out from under the covers, pushing yourself off the mattress. Pressing the phone between your cheek and shoulder, you pull on the pair of sweats slung over the end of your bed, trying not to bust your ass as you hop into them. 

“Is anything else hurting you?” you ask, gently as can be. 

“Honestly?” he responds. “I think I’m sick. I can’t be sick, can I?”

You stand upright once again, taking the phone firmly in your hand. 

“I think even King Steve can get sick from time to time. I’ll be there soon, okay?”

————

Steve’s not sure you understand him. He can’t be sick. He’s got shit to do. He has a shift tomorrow, and he’s pretty sure Dustin needs a ride one day this week because Claudia is on a “girls trip.” He has to keep working on his college essay, because he’d told you he was almost done, but really he isn’t. 

Steve doesn’t have the time to be sick. And he can’t have you ruining your own schedule to come and babysit him. He’s supposed to be the babysitter. Not the charge. 

He should be able to take care of himself, but of course, the one time his parents come home they clean out his mediocre supply of medicine. Something he’s always stocked up on, given his tendency to get the shit beat out of him, or the nasty string of tension headaches that just won’t quit. 

And his head is killing him. He has his palms pressed to his temples, trying (and failing) to dull the ache. There aren’t any lights on in the kitchen, where he’s sitting on the floor, back pressed to the cabinets. 

He’s trying not to move too much either, because he’s dizzy. This probably has to do with the fact that he skipped dinner, feeling too nauseous to eat. Now that Steve is hungry, he fears he won’t be able to get up and fix anything. 

Maybe you’ll be able to help, he thinks. But that voice is quick with a counter argument. No. I need to do it. 

He perks up at the sound of the front door opening. “Steve?” you call out, careful not to slam the door or yell too loud. It’s also why you hadn’t rung the doorbell. 

Steve raps his knuckles softly against the countertop, hoping it’ll be enough to clue you in. He can’t bring himself to shout right now. You follow the sound, taking the few steps toward the kitchen. 

When your eyes lock on his figure, see the way the heels of his hands press into his eyes, you realize how young he looks. He almost looks small, legs pulled up to his chest, big, lanky body compacted as much as possible. He looks vulnerable. You’re sure he hates that. 

“Hi, Steve,” you say, keeping your voice low. 

He looks up at you, and his face splits into a sweet grin. He’s happy that you’re here, even if that voice is screaming at him, wanting to punish him for asking for help. 

“Hey, honey.” You smile back at him, and his heart rate picks up. Sometimes he forgets how beautiful you are, and then you’re standing in front of him, snatching every last breath from his lungs. 

You set your bag down beside him and reach out, brushing his hair back from his forehead. He feels a little warm, but not feverishly so. 

You move away from him, grabbing a cup from the drying rack. You fill it up with water and crouch at his side. Steve takes the glass from you, head resting against the cabinet to watch as you grab him some medicine. You hand him a few pills, and he takes them quickly. If he doesn’t get this headache calmed down soon, he thinks he might just die. 

Steve keeps drinking the water you gave him, and you push his hair back again, watching the way it curls around his ears. 

He drinks about half of the water before he pauses, taking a deep breath. He looks at you then. It’s mostly dark in the kitchen, but the lamp on the table by the front door is on, so you’re a little backlit from it. Not to mention the moonlight seeping in from the window above the sink.

You look gorgeous. And you came over to take care of him. You got up, at one in the morning, and drove to his house, just because he asked you to. Hell, he hadn’t even asked. He hadn’t gotten the words out. But you’d known. You’d known exactly what he was trying to ask, and you’d offered your help with no qualms. 

Steve’s nose starts to sting, and that pressure from behind his eyes—it starts to release. Before he knows it, his vision is getting cloudy, and he’s crying. He can’t be crying, can he? 

You carefully remove the glass from his hand and move in between his spread knees. 

“Steve, it’s okay. I’m here, and I’m gonna take top notch care of you.” 

“I know you are,” he says, voice breaking. “But I should be able to do it myself. I always do it myself.” He presses his hands against his face, but you catch his wrists and gently pull them away. 

You hold your arms out, and Steve practically falls into you. He buries his face in your neck. He can feel the warmth of your skin, the cotton of your sleep shirt. You smell like soap, that fancy conditioner you use. 

One of your hands finds the base of his neck, nails scratching gently over his scalp, thumb dragging over the top of his spine. Your other rubs soothingly up and down his back. 

“But the thing is, Stevie, you don’t have to.” 

He’s not a loud crier. But he is sort of panicky, breaths coming quick and short, chest heaving against your own. “I know you’ve always had to do a lot by yourself, but you can ask for help, and you don’t have to punish yourself for it, either.”

You feel him nod against your collarbone. His hands are fisting the back of your shirt. Eventually, he pulls away, but keeps his eyes closed. He tries to keep his head turned from your gaze. 

“Hey. Look at me.”

He does, albeit reluctantly. Steve’s cheeks are flushed, lashes clumped together and lips parted where he tries to suck in a good deep breath. 

You reach up, fingers gently sweeping away the remainder of the tears on his face. He leans into your touch, and you let him. You lean forward and press a sweet kiss to his forehead. You’ve never done that before.

Steve recognizes that you’ve never done it before, even if it’s sort of fuzzy. Sure, he’s kissed the back of your hand and you’ve reciprocated, but he’s usually the one to initiate physical affection. You’re too shy most often, even if you ache to do it. 

Fuck, he wishes he were a little more coherent right now. 

“Can you stand for me? It’s late, and I think you need to rest.”

He runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah, sure.” Now that he’s thinking about it, getting in bed sounds so nice. 

You stand first, and watch as Steve pushes off the floor, gripping the countertop on the way up to steady himself. 

“Come on. The stairs are gonna be a pain.”

He reaches out for you, and you let him take your arm. He pads out to the staircase, and you watch each precarious step he takes, hoping he won’t get too woozy and trip. 

By the time he finally makes it up there, he’s wrapped both arms around your waist and buried his face between your shoulder blades. You soften beneath his hold. 

You walk slowly towards his bedroom, and he waddles behind you. You push the door open. “M’kay, Steve. Wanna change clothes and hop into bed?” 

He pulls off of you and grabs hold of his dresser. “I’m not givin’ you a free show.”

You snort. “I’ll go get some more water and be right back.”

His grin fades. “Please be fast.” He doesn’t want you to go. He doesn’t want you to leave him. 

“Steve, I’m practically The Flash.”

He laughs, pulling a pair of sweats and a t-shirt out of the drawer. Usually he’d sleep in less, but with you here he feels he should keep his modesty.

When you return, he takes the water from you, drinking it faster than he probably should. Steve feels like he’s had the shit beat out of him, and for once—he hasn’t. 

You’d sat down on the edge of the bed, not noticing the way he’s staring at you. You look up when he sets the glass down. He drags both hands down his face. 

“What’s wrong?” you ask.

He exhales. “I want you to stay here with me, but I don’t want you to get sick. The idea of you being on the couch, which is like, miles away, is driving me insane.”

“Steve?”

“Huh?”

“Can’t I just sleep on the futon?”

His eyes move towards the other side of his room where said piece of furniture is pressed against the wall. He’d bought it when group sleepovers became a thing after all they’d dealt with. Jesus, his brain really isn’t working. 

“Oh. Yeah, honey. Just don’t want you to go far.” 

You lean forward and push his hair back from his forehead. You’ll need to remember to take his temperature come morning.

“I’m not going anywhere, Steve. I promise. Not until you’re all better.”

————

When Steve wakes up, you’re not there. He starts to panic, thinking maybe he’d been too much, maybe he’d shown you a side of himself he shouldn’t have, that maybe you left. 

But you return to his room just as he’s about to start looking for you. There’s a thermometer in your hand. 

“Morning, sleepy boy. Are you coherent enough for me to check your temperature? Or no?”

He yanks the covers off of himself, and his shirt has ridden up. You catch a sliver of tummy before he sits up fully, and you miss it the second it’s gone. 

“Hit me, I can take it.”

You roll your eyes but stick the thermometer under his tongue when he opens his mouth. When you pull it away, you’re happy to see he hasn’t got a fever. He was warm last night when you kissed his forehead, but you’re thinking it was from stress or just overheating. 

“No fever. What’s buggin’ you today, Stevie?”

He flops onto his back, and his shirt rides up again. You mentally slap yourself for being so enamored by it. All your brain can compute is tummy. Steve’s tummy. “My head still, and my stomach. I feel like I haven’t slept in four years.”

His words snap you out of your reverie. “Four years? That’s incredible. When’s the last time you ate something?”

Steve stares at you for a moment, though it looks as if there isn’t a single thought behind his eyes. “Yesterday…morning. I think. Yeah, I had a banana.”

You stare back, rather appalled at his statement. “Steve.”

“Hm?”

“All you’ve had to eat in the past twenty four hours is a banana?”

“Yep.”

“Jesus christ. Get your ass up and come with me.”

Steve doesn’t move. Rather he watches you move, right out the door and towards the top of the stairs. You pause and turn around, crossing your arms. 

He huffs. And then he slides down the side of the bed like a child before crawling up and following you to the kitchen. 

Over the course of the next few hours, you manage to get Steve to eat, shower, and go for a short walk, weather permitting and all. He’s looking astronomically better than he did last night. 

Steve sits opposite you on the couch, his socked feet in your lap. “What do you think my deal is?”

You rub your hand over his calf. “I think you just had a little bug. Or maybe you let yourself get too stressed out and your body couldn’t take it.”

He blinks. “Is that…that's not a thing? Is it?”

“When’s the last time you gave yourself a fuckin’ break, Steve? When you just took a day for yourself rather than worrying about who needs to go where, or if you’ll have to cover a shift? You have to take care of yourself, or this is the kind of shit that happens.”

“Being overwhelmed about your parents, not eating, worrying about that application, all of that is fucking with you. That headache was probably a stress headache. They’re killer. I want you to be healthy and comfortable, Steve.”

You exhale, and close your eyes. When you open them, Steve has sat up, scooting towards you on your end of the couch. 

He might still be tired, but he can’t believe this. He can’t believe you. No one has ever worried for him in this way. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you ask. 

He barely even registers your words, too busy memorizing every line on your face. You look so fucking beautiful. It almost makes him angry. 

“I’m thinkin’ about how bad I want to kiss you.”

Your face starts to burn. You shove his shoulder. He looks at the place where you’d pushed, quirking a brow, but grinning nonetheless.

“What?”

“Steve, you can’t say shit like that.”

“How come?”

“Because we’re friends.”

“Best friends.”

“Well yeah, but best friends don’t say that to one another.”

His grin widens. He looks more awake than he has this entire time. 

“Oh, but you haven’t said it.”

You blink. “Huh?”

Steve gets his voice up that little bit higher, doing a cheap imitation of you. “‘Best friends don’t say that to one another.’ Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but that implies you want a kiss too, doesn’t it?”

You drag your hands down your face and flop back against the arm of the couch. 

“So you gonna say it, or what?” He’s shifted, and you can feel him hovering over you, but you refuse to move your hands. 

“Of course I’m thinking about kissing you, Steve.” You suck in a breath and open your eyes, locking with his own. “But you’ve got cooties.”

Steve rolls his eyes before he backs up and yanks on your ankle so that you’re flat against the couch. 

“You did not just lecture me about self-care just to tell me I have cooties. I didn’t even have a fever.” 

“I didn’t even have a fever,” you mock, lowering your voice in what is quite possibly the worst impression of him you could do.

He’s quick about it. Almost stealthy, not that you’d ever boost his ego by telling him so. But his fingers are reaching for your sides, the tips dancing over your shirt, that tiny sliver of hip showing where it’s ridden up. 

Steve is practically drunk off of your laugh. It’s the sweetest sound he’s ever heard, and when he goes for your neck, when you tilt your head and trap his fingers between your cheek and shoulder, he thinks he could die. 

You and your laugh. The fact that you drove over at one in the fucking morning, without even thinking about it, just because you care. That you stayed the night, listened to his pitiful thoughts, took care of him…it’s too much. 

Never in his life did he think he’d find someone like you. Someone who makes him feel like he matters. You’d made him realize how smart he is, how capable. That he could do things for himself and not just to please his dickhead father. 

You have made him whole. 

He lets up when you start breathing extra heavily, only to tickle the underside of your foot before he quits, just to piss you off. You kick him in the side. 

“I think a kiss from my very favorite person might be the best form of self-care there is, honey.”

You sit up. “Wow. King Steve really never died.” He raises his hands like he might tickle you again, but you catch them before he can do any damage. “Okay, sorry!” 

Before he can register it, you’ve leaned in and pressed your lips to his. When he does realize, he lets out a surprised hum, and you can feel that smartass smirk forming on his face. 

When you pull away, he whines. 

“All better?”

Steve falls back against the couch, pulling you with him just to get that laugh out of you again. 

“I’m healed.”

————

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[athenamikaelson]

Klaus Mikaelson x Soulmate!Reader x Elijah Mikaelson Pt. 15

Word Count- 5.8k

Warnings- Swearing, violence, talks of bad mental health, mommy issues, robbing???

“Alastair talk to me, please! What is going on,” Tears roll down my face as Alastair speeds down the dark back roads of Mystic Falls. 

“I’m not supposed to talk to you about it,” Alastair’s gruff words escape his mouth and I look at him in confusion and anger.

“What the fuck do you mean you can’t talk to me about it? What is it? Because all I know is that my supposed friend somehow knows Klaus. The big bad wolf Klaus!”

My breathing is shallow and harsh as I look at my friend. Or not friend. I guess. Alastair’s hands grip the leather steering wheel, and I watch as he grinds his teeth together so hard that I almost believe his teeth will fall out if he does open his mouth.

“I. Can’t. Tell. You.”

Alastair’s words don’t stop the tears still streaming down my face. 

“What can you tell me then, huh? Was all of it a lie? Our friendship? Everything I confided in you about? Everything you told me about yourself? Huh,” My voice gets louder with every question, “Was all of it some stupid fucking lie, Alastair! Some sick fucked up way of Klaus getting into my head! I never did anything to the guy! So why me?!”

I jeer forward as the car comes to a screeching halt, “I said I can’t tell you! For fucks sake!”

I’m frozen in fear as I look at the black veins under Alastair’s eyes. Eyes that are now looking directly at me. Oh god.

“You’re a…”

“Vampire.”

—

BEEP BEEP

“What the hell,” I groan as I throw my hands over my ears to hide myself away from the stupid phone alarm. 

“Sorry,” Elena’s voice comes from beside me on the bed as I feel her move around. The buzzing continues for a moment before a click of Elena’s finger stops it.

“What time is it,” My morning voice comes out harsh.

“Five,” Elena’s sheepish voice responds and I let out a loud groan. 

“Elena, what the hell. Go back to sleep. We don’t have to be up for school for another 2 hours,” I try to reason with my friend but she’s already standing up.

“I can’t. Ric and I are sparring today. He’s going to teach me how to defend myself. Remember? I offered for you to join.”

I roll back over onto one of Elena’s spare pillows and close my eyes.

“Sleep. I need sleep.”

—

“You’re a… what do you mean you’re a vampire! You can’t be, you’re a bartender,” My voice is shaky as small sobs escape my mouth. Alastair watches me as I try to lean as far away from him as I possibly can in the tiny sports car.

“I didn’t realize I had to be one or the other,” His dry voice makes a nasty laugh escape me.

“You’re one of his aren’t you,” I bite at the reference to the devil himself. 

“I’m not his. But…” Alastair's eyes narrow as he rubs a hand over his face, “I’m loyal to him. You don’t understand Y/N.”

“Then help me understand Alastair! Because right now all I know is that you’ve lied to me this entire summer!”

“Just like you’ve lied to me about all your friends being supernatural,” Alastair responds accusingly, and clench my fists.

“That is not the same and you know it. I thought you were human! I was protecting you!”

“And I’m protecting you!”

I flinch back as Alastair yells and raises his hands in exhaustion. 

“Protecting me from what? And what does Klaus have to do with it?”

Alastair looks at me once more and then turns his attention to his hands. I shake my head in annoyance, “You can’t tell me,” I say copying his words from before.

“Take me to Elena’s.”

“Klaus said to-”

“Does it look like I give a flying fuck what Klaus, AKA Satan Incarnate, wants! Just take me to Elena’s,” A sob escapes my mouth and for a moment I think Alastair is going to continue driving me to my house but with a deep sigh he puts the car into drive and does a U-turn in the middle of the street back towards the Gilbert residence. 

We drive in silence for the next 10 minutes. The only thing being heard in the car is the sounds of my sniffles. 

Thankfully we reach the driveway and before Alastair can even put the car into park, I’m unbuckling my seatbelt and throwing myself out of the car. 

“Y/N! Wait,” Alastair’s voice calls from behind me as I quickly climb the stairs.

I jump back slightly as the porch light turns on and the front door opens to Jenna standing there in her fluffy purple robe. She’s standing defensibly as she holds a bat but as soon as she sees it’s me she drops it. 

“Y/n? What’s wrong,” Jenna asks me in a mother-like tone.

“Y/n, would you just wait for a second,” Alastair's voice gets closer.

“Leave me alone!”

Jenna seems confused as to why Alastair and I are fighting. Probably because we’ve been attached at the hip all summer. But that doesn’t stop her from opening up the door and letting me run into her arms. 

“Jenn, what’s going on,” Ric comes down the stairs hastily. At the sight of my tear-stained face, his hunter's instinct seems to kick in as he rushes over to both myself and his girlfriend. 

“Go away, Alastair,” I turn one last time to the almost upset-looking man standing on the porch. 

Ric pushes both Jenna and I behind him as he stares down Alastair. 

“I think it’s best if you leave now,” Ric and Alastair stare each other down for a moment before Alastair looks around at me.

“I’ll see you soon.”

—-

“Y/n,” I feel a shove to my shoulder and I press my face harder into the soft duvet, “Y/n! Wake up we’re going to be late!”

“Late for what mom,” I groan into my pillow and I hear Elena’s laugh from above me.

“For the first day of Senior year. You know if we’re not there on time Caroline will march herself over here,” At the mention of the blonde I instantly sit up straight. So fast in fact, that Elena quickly takes a step back so we don’t hit heads.

“Weren’t you going to go fight with Ric or something,” I say as I rub the sleep from my eyes and watch my friend put her books into her backpack. 

“I already did,” She laughs to herself, “You’ve been sleeping the entire time. Now get up and get dressed. Jenna made pancakes and Jeremy and Theo are going to eat them all if we don’t get down there.”

I sigh deeply as I throw my legs over Elena’s bed, the one I’ve been sleeping in for the past three days since Alastair dropped me off here. 

“I think our brothers are dating,” I jokingly say out loud and Elena stops for a moment and thinks to herself before nodding along with me.

“Ya, you’re probably right. Should we tell Bonnie,” I roll my eyes at my friend’s question and put my feet into the bunny slippers Jenna bought for me yesterday. 

“I think she already knows,” I stand up and walk past her to the small duffle bag that’s comprised of everything I’d need for my week-long sleepover at the Gilbert’s. I head into the bathroom and start changing and getting ready for the day.

“You really don’t mind me staying here,” I yell loud enough so Elena can hear me through the door.

“Of course not,” She responds earnestly, “Besides, you’re not the only one who needs the company.”

At her response, I sigh deeply and then look at myself in the bathroom mirror. I’d be repulsed and surprised by my appearance if I hadn’t already been like this for the past three days. Dark circles take up half my face, a face that looks like it hasn’t seen the sun in twenty years and I think I’ve started to lose weight, hence the hollowness of my cheeks. It’s been hard to sleep or eat these past few days because every second I’m picturing the dark veins under Alastair’s eyes, the sounds of Dana and Chad dying, and the victorious smirk on Klaus’ face. The latter who we’ve thankfully not heard anything about since that night at the school.

“Y/n! You ready?”

I try to dab some concealer and blush onto my face but alas I still look like a dead person. Ironically kind of like half the population of Mystic Falls since Klaus came to town. 

“Ya, let’s do this,” I open the door and try to smile at my best friend. 

—

“Here we are. Senior year,” Caroline says breathlessly as she, Bonnie, Elena, and I stand in the parking lot of the school.

“Yippee,” I say under my breath sarcastically and I hear Elena laugh. 

“Anyone else think this should feel slightly more empowering,” Bonnie asks and I have to fight back a yawn.

Caroline throws her hands up as none of us say anything, “Okay, so prank night was a bust but we are accepting it and we are moving on.”

“Dana and Chad can’t move on,” I bite and then quickly cringe when I realize how nasty that came out.

“Sorry,” I wince and Caroline sighs and places a hand on my shoulder.

“I know. And what happened was horrible, but we need to try to push past it,” She smiles at me but I can’t seem to find the strength to return it. How are we just supposed to push past the fact that two innocent teenagers were ruthlessly murdered? 

“You’re right,” Bonnie tries to lighten the mood as we start walking towards the school, “I mean, why should I let the fact that my boyfriend is seeing the ghost of his dead girlfriends hinder this experience?”

“And the fact he’s dating my brother,” I say under my breath and Bonnie shoots me a confused look. 

Caroline looks at me oddly before shaking her head, “Anyways…Yes, and why should I let the fact that my boyfriend was turned into a hybrid put a damper on an otherwise fabulous day.”

“Sure, and why should I let the fact that my friend ended up being a henchman of the devil himself, who for some reason likes to terrorize me,” I sarcastically say out loud and Bonnie and Caroline both cringe at the mention of Alastair. Two days ago they came over to the Gilbert’s and I filled them in on everything. 

“Today’s our anniversary,” Elena’s voice makes Caroline, Bonnie, and I halt, “Technically, Stefan and I met on the first day of school last year.”

“Yeah, you win,” Caroline says and I fight the urge to roll my eyes because an anniversary doesn’t really seem to be the worst thing that’s happened so far, but whatever.

“Can’t we just go home? Come back tomorrow. Or just drop out,” I try to reason but Elena grabs my shoulder and shakes her head.

“Nope. We’re doing this. We’re putting it behind us and becoming new people. New year. New life.”

I raise an eyebrow at my friend’s sappy words, “Ya. Okay. I guess.”

—

“Theo says he doesn't have a pencil. So I’m going to go meet him and then I’ll see you guys in class,” I tell Elena who shoots me an odd look.

“Doesn’t have a pencil? It’s the first day of school.”

I just shrug. Not really surprised at my brother’s lack of planning, “He does this. I’ll see you soon,” I wave to her and walk towards the cafeteria where I’m expected to meet my brother. 

Right as I turn a corner though I’m knocked into a hard chest.

“Ouch, I’m so sor-”

My words stop as I look up to the person I bumped into and freeze when I meet Alastair’s deep brown eyes. Compared to me, Alastair looks as pristine and gorgeous as ever. But I guess when you’re an immortal being, eyebags aren’t something you really have to worry about. He’s a dark black top that I’m sure is designer and brand new-looking lacks and loafers. 

“Y/n, good morning,” Alastair says in a soft voice as if we’re the best of friends still.

“What the hell are you doing here,” I growl at him and Alastair shoots me a confused look.

“I’m a student here, remember?”

I shake my head in annoyance, “You’re also a vampire,” I whisper-yell out the word so passersby don’t think I’m crazy, “You don’t go to school.”

“Stefan, Caroline and now Tyler do. So why can’t I,” He asks and I open and close my mouth about a hundred time trying to find an answer. 

“That’s not the same!”

Alastair smirks, “And why isn’t”

I raise my hands trying to find a reason and practically growl when I can’t think of one, “How old are you anyway? I bet you’re old. Why would someone old want to come to high school? It’s not like the movies, where everyone breaks out into song and dance. It actually fucking sucks! So just do everyone a favor and leave!”

I look around to see that some people have started watching us because of my little outburst. At the onslaught of eyes, my hands start to shake and I bite down hard on my lower lip.

“What the hell are you staring at,” Alastair’s once calm voice darkens as he growls out to the students. The latter quickly move on at the harsh look and words. 

Alastair looks back at me and his harsh look returns to a calm one so fast I think it’s going to give me whiplash. 

“I’m here for you,” He says matter-of-factly, “And to answer your other question I’m 645 years old.”

I blink. And blink. And then blink again. 

“You’re…”

Alastair smiles at me, “Old. Ya.”

“Y/N! Bless your kind and spirited heart for blessing me on this wonderful Monday morning,” Theo’s overdramatic voice pulls me from my stupor as I’m being slightly pulled back by my bag. 

I turn over my shoulder and see Theo unzipping and then going through my backpack.

“You got any drugs in here,” His question makes me shoot him a glare and he laughs.

“Joking! Kinda. Anyways, I have football practice after school so don’t wait up for me,” He finally pulls out a handful of pencils and I realize I’m definitely going to have to stock up since I know he’s going to lose them all by next week. 

“Oh hey, Alex,” Theo waves to Alastair and then puts a hand on my head, and then pats me like a dog. 

“Bye, my favorite nerd.”

I watch annoyed as my little brother practically skips down the hall, shooting fist bumps at other guys and winking at passing girls. 

“He does know my name isn’t Alex right,” Alastair questions and I laugh.

“I don’t think he cares,” I turn around and am about to smile along with him but instantly stop when I remember that we’re not actually friends. At least not anymore. 

“Just leave me alone, Alastair. I don’t want you here,” I walk past him and make my way down the hall towards Alaric’s classroom. Sadly though I hear Alastair’s expensive shoes behind me. 

“You have Ric’s class? Great! So don’t I,” He says as he easily catches up to me and walks beside me until we get to the classroom. 

As soon as we enter Ric shoots me a nervous look and I shrug, not really knowing what to do. Alastair was old, really old. If he wanted to kill us we wouldn’t be able to stop him. I quickly shoot down in the seat in front of Elena who looks at me with the same look as Ric. Caroline, who is currently shooting daggers at Alastair, sits beside her. Alastair sits down unphased in the seat on my right and I freeze when I turn to the person behind him. Yoda. Well, technically Ripper Stefan now. 

“Nice to see you, Y/n. I’ve missed you,” Stefan’s sarcastic words don’t seem to phase me as I glare at him.

“I wish all the vampires in this town would just die. For real,” I hear an insulted gasp from behind me and I turn back to Caroline, “Not you though.”

Caroline nods her head apporvingly. 

“Welcome back, seniors,” Ric’s voice turns my attention to the front of the classroom, “Let’s, uh, turn our brains back on starting with, uh, this country’s original founders the Native Americans.”

“What about the Vikings?’’

The British voice sends chills down my spine as a wave of nausea washes through me. Flashes of prank night cloud my vision and the smell of blood fills my nose.

“Well, there’s no evidence that Viking explorers actually settled in the United States,” Ric tells Rebekah as I watch in horror as she plants herself into the seat on my left. 

“Who are you?”

Rebekah smiles up at Ric, “My name is Rebekah. I’m new and history is my favorite subject.”

I bite down hard on my lip as Rebekah turns her head and looks at me. A sickeningly sweet smile comes onto her face as she sends me a small wave. I quickly whip my head forward at Ric who looks just as clueless as everyone else. New year, new me, my ass.

—

Adjusting my reading glasses, I place my book down on the grass momentarily. Caroline stands about 10 feet away with the other cheerleaders as they stretch before practice. Elena is also out here, but she’s on the track running. She had invited me to go running with her but I just laughed in her face thinking she was joking. When I realized she was indeed actually asking me, I once again laughed in her face and then told her to have fun and I’d be sitting on the grass reading my book. 

So for the past 15 minutes, that’s what I’ve been doing. Or at least have been trying. With the loud cheering music, the sounds of footballers hitting one another, and the hard-ass ground I’m sitting on, it’s been kind of hard to focus. 

“What are you doing here?”

Caroline’s angry voice has me perking up my head as I look up and surprisingly see Rebekah stretching next to her. 

“Sounds like you have an opening on the squad,” Rebekah says and Caroline glares at her and then looks over at me quickly. 

“Actually that spot just got filled,” Rebekah follows Care’s eyeline to me and we both have a confused look on our faces.

“Excuse me,” I question my friend and she walks over to me.

“Ya! Y/n is actually on the team now,” Caroline says matter-of-factly and I cringe at the thought.

“Ya Caroline,” I get her attention and she hums, “I can’t join. One because I literally would rather die, and two because gun shot to the shoulder remember?”

I gesture to my shoulder and Caroline opens and closes her mouth and then rolls her eyes in defeat before going back into line. 

“You were shot?”

I frown as Rebekah almost sounds caring as she asks me. She has a weary expression on her face and I glare at her. 

“You,” Caroline points at Rebekah, “Don’t talk to her. Why are you here?”

Rebekah leans down to stretch ignoring the blonde vamp.

“Hey,” Caroline prods, “Hey.”

Rebekah stands up and stares at my friend and honestly, I wish I had some popcorn to watch what’s about to go down. 

“You can’t just come here and infiltrate all of our lives.”

“I’m only interested in yours,” Rebekah says snarkily, “Your spunk, your popularity,” She looks over at Tyler who is running drills next to Theo, and then back to me, “Maybe even your boyfriend and best friend?”

“Oh, no she didn’t,” I ooh at them and Caroline glares at me. I cringe and pretend to go back to reading. I’m totally still watching both of them over my book though.

Rebekah walks away from Caroline but not before sending me a smile, one that I don’t return. Caroline looks at me like she doesn’t know what to do and I just shrug because I honestly don’t know either. 

Caroline walks off and I try to go back to my book but right when I’m about to focus the sound of a whistle is blown.

“Oh! Come on!”

I frustratedly watch as the football coach dismisses the football players way too early. Strange. And it’s not long before Theo is running up to me. 

“What’s up bitch,” He gests as he looks down at me. 

“I’ve told you not to call me that,” I sniff and then cover my nose in disgust, “You stink dude. God damn.”

My brother sniffs the air and then smirks, “That’s the smell of your boy making first string this fall. And, you call me a dumbass, so why can’t I call you bitch. Also, it’s not like I’m doing it deragotivly. I’m a feminist you know. I loveeee women.”

“There’s so much to unpack with what you just said,” I reach my hand up and Theo takes it and pulls me up. Careful to not pull too hard on my shoulder, “I call you a dumbass because you are a dumbass.”

Theo thinks to himself for a moment before smirking again, “A handsome dumbass.”

“You stress me out,” I groan as we start walking towards the school.

“And yet you can’t live without me.”

— 

Elena pulls her car into my Theo and I’s driveway and I sigh deeply when I see my mother's car parked in the driveway.

“You sure you’ll be alright? You can just come back to mine. I really don’t mind,” Elena tells me from her seat and I heavily debate the idea before shaking my head.

“I can’t live in your bed forever. Besides, if I stay over too long Theo will have questions. Questions I’m not ready or even sure how to answer.”

Elena nods solemnly as I open the door and get out. 

“Well, call me if you need anything alright,” I nod at her request, “I’ll see you tonight at the fire. Don’t be late or you’ll have Caroline to speak to.”

I flinch at the idea of making the already pissed-off blonde mad and nod. I give Elena a wave and slowly trudge my way up the stairs. I quietly open the front door, hoping my mother is on some business call and doesn’t realize I’m here.

“Y/n? Is that you?”

Damnit.

“Uh, ya. It’s me,” I clench my jaw as my mother enters the living room. She looks me over as if I’m just going to disappear. Which right now I wish I would. 

“I didn’t know when you’d be coming back,” She says in a hopeful voice that irks me. 

“Ya, I didn’t either,” We stand in silence for a moment before I start walking to my room, “I have to get ready for the bonfire tonight.”

“Wait!’’

My mother’s voice has me stopping in place and staring at the wall in front of me. I wait for her to speak and for a moment I don’t think she’s going to.

“I miss you,” Her strained voice has my eyes instantly tearing up, “I miss hearing you here. Laughing into your books, or hearing your music play in your room. Besides Theo, it’s so quiet here. You seemed so happy. I’m so sorry I changed that.”

Her apology and words have me clenching my fists in anger, “Happy? Happy! Do you really think I was happy? Mom, I was miserable! The only reason I was in my room reading my books and listening to my music was because I had nothing else! Nothing else to laugh about or smile about. And honestly, I’m not even surprised you never noticed either of those things since you were always gone,” I glare at my mother who is now crying at my confession, “You’re too busy focusing on your clients that you never even noticed your own daughter drowning in her head right in front of you. So no, I don’t want your apology. Because what’s done is done. ”

Without another word, I turn around and walk to my room, slamming my door behind me. 

—

“I’ll lure Stefan away from the bonfire then when he’s distracted…”

“I’ll shoot him,” Ric finishes off Elena’s sentence. 

I watch from my desk as the Scooby Gang try to come up with a plan to subdue Stefan at tonight’s bonfire. 

“Can’t Bonnie just juju him or something,” Damon questions. He’s currently sitting on top of my desk. 

“I’m trying to keep Bonnie out of this. I don’t trust that Stefan won’t hurt her,” Elena reasons and I nod.

“If Stefan tries to hurt my girl he’s going to have another thing coming to him,” I say as I pull out both of my fists. Damon looks down at me and rolls his eyes dramatically and pushes my fists back down. 

“Put those away, Rocky. You’re staying away from Stefan as well tonight.”

“Excuse me?”

“Caroline, are you covered,” Elena asks the blonde vamp.

“Yes! I will make sure that the old Forbes jail cell is prepped and ready.”

“We’re forgetting a key player here. Rebekah? Wherever Stefan goes, the blonde ponytail tends to follow.”

At Damon’s mention of the blonde, I growl under my breath.

“Which is why it’s your job to keep her away,” Elena answers him.

“How? She’s an original. The last time I checked, we were out of daggers.”

“We could always wake Elijah up,” I say a little too quickly, and everyone in the room deadpans me, “Ok…guess not.”

“So then preoccupy her with your charm,” Elena says and I snort out a laugh.

“Might have better luck finding the dagger,” Ric says and my snorting gets louder.

“Sorry, I’m late. What’s going on?”

Tyler entering the room turns everyone’s attention and I use this to try to sneak Damon’s wallet out of his pants pocket. 

They’re all conversing and I’m about to get it but Damon stands up from his seat and the wallet falls out onto the floor in front of me. Damon seems to be entranced with whatever everyone is talking about to notice so I quickly lean down and grab the wallet. I smirk evilly to myself as I see the wad of bills and quickly grab some and put them in the pocket of my sweatshirt. I loud gasp jolts me and I drop the wallet.

“I didn’t do anything!”

I freeze and see Tyler on the floor unconscious with Damon over him.

“What are you doing?”

Caroline runs over to her boyfriend”

“He’s been sired,” Damon says as he stares down at the boy. 

“What,” Ric asks speaking for all of us.

“Sired. He feels loyal to Klaus because Klaus’ blood created him.”

“Uh oh,” I whisper as I slide the wallet onto the desk in front of me. 

“Loyal how?”

“He’ll seek acceptance from his master. It’s really rare, but maybe not so much in hybrids.”

Caroline looks up to Damon, “So how do we fix him?”

“Get a new boyfriend.”

—

“Just stay behind me and try not to go anywhere with Stefan alone ok?”

Elena’s worrisome expression makes me sigh, “I’ll be fine Elena. No pissing off Yoda. I got it. He’s not the only vamp I’m trying to hide from tonight.”

I cautiously look around the woods where dozens of teenagers drink and party to loud music. Thankfully, no signs of Alastair.

Elena and I approach She-Klaus and Non-Yoda who are standing next to a keg. Elena grabs the beer in Stefan’s hands and chugs it. Okay then. 

“Elena, Y/n, hi. What are you guys doing?”

“We’re having fun Stefan,” Elena hands me a beer but I reject it, “You have a problem with that?”

“Alright, take it easy,” Stefan says as Elena drinks another beer, “We both know you’re kind of a lightweight.”

Elena coughs, “Really? You think I’m going to let a blood addict tell me how to drink?”

A loud laugh leaves my lips at my friends comment, “She got you there man.”

Elena grabs my hand, drops her empty cup at Stefan’s feet, and leads us away from the two vampires.

“How much of a lightweight are you exactly?”

My question has Elena cringing, “Let’s just say tonight is going to be rough.”

—

I’m peacefully enjoying the quietness next to the fire when an annoying voice comes from behind me. 

“You know when my family and I were humans, once a month before the full moon our village would throw parties like this to celebrate,” I release a groan and stand up when I see Rebekah approach me. 

She instantly stands in front of me and raises her hands in surrender, “Please don’t go,” Her earnest voice stops me, “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I find that hard to believe,” I bite out.

“You don’t like me yet. And I understand why. You’re loyal to your friends. But I think you and I are going to be great friends one day.”

Rebekah’s words make me frown, “And why is that?”

Rebekah sits down on the log I was previously sitting on and she pats the spot next to her. I sigh as I sit down, much to her enjoyment. 

“I can’t tell you yet. But, I just know.”

I groan at those words, “Do all of you Mikaelsons just love using that phrase?”

Rebekah’s eyes narrow in question, “All?”

“Ya, you and Elijah. He’s said that to me like fifty-seven times.”

“You’ve met Elijah?”

I nod and look at the fire, “Uh, ya. Once or twice.”

I see Rebekah frown next to me and her face appears next to mine as she looks at my face, “Why are you doing that?”

“Dude you really have to work on personal space. And what am I doing?”

Rebekah points to my face, “You’re blushing! Why are you blushing when talking about Elijah? You’re not supposed to be blushing!”

My eyes go wide at her accusation, “I am not blushing! And certainly not because of Elijah! I don’t even think of the guy.”

Rebekah shoves her finger at me, “Liar! Your heart just skipped! Elijah not supposed to be the one making you blush.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Rebekah sits back and shrugs, “Nothing.”

“Rebekah! Seriously!”

We both stare at each other for a moment before I sigh and fall into my hands. I groan out in pain though when I put too much pressure on my shoulder.

“You’re hurt?”

I sit up and gently rub my shoulder, “I’m fine.”

“You mentioned earlier that you got shot. How did it happen?”

I look at the girl uneasily and for a moment I don’t see the Orignal vampire but a regular teenager. 

“The sheriff shot me when she was trying to shoot Damon.”

“And I’m guessing that is now a dead sheriff,” Rebekah says and I frown and shake my head. 

“No, of course not. It’s Caroline’s mother.”

“I don’t see how that matters. Especially when my brother finds out.”

“Elijah?”

Rebekah rolls her eyes, “You need to stop thinking about Elijah. It’ll only hurt you. I’m talking about Klaus.”

I shake my head in confusion, “What do you mean Klaus? Why would he give a damn?”

Rebekah’s eyes go wide and she clamps her mouth shut.

“Seriously!”

“Just heed my warning alright. Stay away from Elijah. For my family's sake and yours.”

An uneasiness washes over me, and then I sigh when Damon Salvawhore walks over to us.

“Hello, ladies.”

“And that’s my cue to leave,” I stand up and begin walking away but am pulled back by a hand grabbing my own. 

I look down and see Rebekah staring up at me, “I meant what I said about us becoming friends, Y/n.”

I stare at her for a moment before nodding and walking away from the two vampires. 

—

“Where do you think you’re going,” Alastair’s voice halts me and I grit my teeth.

“Of course you’re here,” I don’t turn around and look at him, I just continue walking.  

The vampire doesn’t get the hint the as he catches up to me easily and walks beside me. 

“Where are you going?”

“Leave me alone.”

“Y/n. Where are you going?”

I ignore him as I keep walking but a hand to the arm pulls me back lightly. I turn around and quickly pull my arm from Alastair’s grasp as I glare at him. 

“Don’t! Don’t you dare touch me! Just leave me alone,” I yell at him and he shakes his head.

“I told you I can’t do that,” His answer has me practically growling at him. 

“Oh ya, because you’re Klaus’ little bitch. I remember.”

I whip back around and continue walking.

“I am not his bitch,” Alastair says from my side.

“You follow his orders and listen to what he tells you. Kinda sounds like what someone's bitch would do.”

I hear a low growl escape Alastair’s mouth.

“Just tell me where you’re going.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“If you’re going to find Elena she’s already gone home.”

At his words, I halt.

“What?”

“Elena and Ric took Stefan away.”

I close my eyes and sigh. Great. 

“And how would you know that?”

“I was trying to find you and came across them taking an unconscious Stefan away.”

I raise my eyebrows in surprise since that means our plan actually worked. It never works. 

“And I bet now you’re going to run off and tell Klaus his precious boy toy has been compromised,” I bite out as I turn towards the parking lot. If Elena isn’t here anymore than I’m leaving. 

“Nope,” Alastair says popping the p.

I stop and turn to him in surprise, “No? Why not?”

“For one, I’m not his bitch. And two, my orders are to watch over you, nothing else. What your friends do in there past times is none of my concern. Well, as long as it doesn’t hurt or endanger you in the process.”

“Wait…hurt or endanger?”

I watch Alastair tense up as he realizes he slipped up.

“You’re here to protect me?”

Alastair doesn’t say anything as he looks down at his shoes.

“Alastair!”

“I’ve already said too much,” He throws his hands up and I roll my eyes and continue walking. Thankfully my car comes into sight and I march towards it.

“Where are you going?” “If you truly must know home. I’m going the fuck home,” I bite out as I use my key thob to unlock my car door.

“Are you and your mother still fighting?”

I pause my hand on the car door.

“That’s none of your business.”

I throw open my car door and step inside. I don’t look at the vampire as I slam the car door shut and turn the car on. 

I’m just about to peel away when Alastair says one last thing to me.

“Our friendship wasn’t a lie to me.”

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Always have but never hold

Next chapter

a/n lingered in my brain for a bit and now it's out here. Be gentle, it's my first time writing for this man. 😳🥺😭✨

warnings: fighting, kitchen accidents, swearing, mental health struggles.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Fuck early Chicago mornings and the freezing temperatures that came with them. And add the people who promised bursts of sunshine and blue skies to the list. Fuck all of them and their predictions. Your grandma made better weather foretellings and landed straight on target with them.

You tightened your jacket closer to your body. Wrapping your hands around yourself. Well, the jacket wasn't yours. It was Carmy's, but you always preferred to wear his stuff. It soothed your anxiety. All the worries Made the early mornings more bearable. You don't remember the last time you two woke up in the same bed. You don't remember how the warmth of the morning, still wrapped up in the sheets, felt. Carmy would be off to the restaurant even before you. You tried to suggest that you just go together an hour or so later, but that only brought out a fight that left you two even further apart as it was. And it had gotten far away. You let his scent flow through your mind, chasing the nagging voice away. Yet already dreading the chaos of the day ahead.

Your phone starts ringing in your pocket. For a moment, you hesitated. Surely, it's too early for something serious to be going on. But then, don't all the scary things happen at the oddest hours? So you reach for it, frowning when you see Sugar's name lighting up the phone. You weren't close to Carmy's family. You had only met them briefly at the funeral. God, they didn't even know who you were. Nor did they care. Or maybe they cared too much.

"Hello", you said, clearing your throat right away. You hadn't spoken any words yet this morning, meaning the first hello sounded way too raspy. "Yeah, hi, it's early, isn't it", Sugar breathed, and you almost wanted to roll your eyes. Yet you couldn't bring yourself to it. Her voice sounded worried. "Did anything happen?", you trailed off. It's not like you two called each other out of the blue. You didn't just chat or go out for coffee. You didn't meet up for lunch or dinner. She had called you once, and it was only to ask if Carmy had wanted to keep any of Mikey's stuff. She was Natalie to you. Someone who might not even stop in the middle of the street to greet you.

"I've just been thinking about Carmy", she muttered quickly. You could hear her shuffling through some papers in the background. "What about him?", you said after a moment of silence. "Did you talk to him about the doctor I suggested? Maybe you two can even go together?", the words just spilled from her mouth, and you halted quickly, "You care for him, right? So take him". A light hint of anger picked up in your chest at that. They had all been pushing down on him. Do that. Do this. Carmy wasn't like them. He operated differently.

"Yeah, yeah, we spoke about it. He just doesn't want to do it now", you said calmly, changing the hand with which you'd been holding the phone so you could warm up your fingers in the jacket pocket. "He will never want to do it", Natalie grumbled back, "Did he even tell you about the times he couldn't breathe? Don't you notice that it's bad? It's scary". A chill ran down your spine. An image of Carmy holding onto his throat filled your brain. Hand gripping the sink as he gasped for air. Panicked eyes searched the room. Two am. Calling the ambulance. Crying in the bathroom before you even went to see him. Fuck, they knew about how scary it was, yet you only mumbled a quiet, "I know, yeah". A sigh leaves her mouth. "And you're not doing anything? He'll end up like...", but you pull your phone away from your ear, press the red button, and swallow quickly. You weren't going to think about it now. No. Not now. Not never. Carmy wasn't going to end up like this. He just wasn't.

You rounded the last corner, quickly pushing your key into the door before letting yourself in. The warmth of the restaurant soothed your cold skin. You thought about giving yourself a moment to compose yourself, but then you were already late. So you quickly undid the jacket. "Where's my fucking knife? Have you seen my knife?", Carmy's voice echoed through the space. You quickly dropped your stuff at the corner of his desk in the office before walking into the kitchen.

"Morning", you smiled up at everyone, and someone grumbled in return. The tension in the kitchen was already brutal. "Your cigarette is on the table, Tina", You turned her way, and she flashed you a smile. "Lord knows, I'll need a whole pack of them today". She had been the only one who hadn't thrown a fit about your being here. She wasn't flowing with joy, but it was by far the best way you've been greeted since moving back to Chicago with Carmy.

"Behind", Carmy shouted again, moving past the rest of the kitchen with a tray of meat in his hands. He didn't even glance your way. He wasn't someone to go lovely dovey in front of the others yet it stung. To your surprise, he turned your way. Eyes softened at the sight of you, and all of the nagging thoughts drained. "Hey", he muttered, reaching for your hand and squeezing it gently. "We prep, then the papers?", he asked, already bearing for the tray with vegetables. You quickly nodded before reaching for the knife yourself.

"They fucked the order? Why the hell do I care that they don't have my shit in stock", Carmy ran his hand through his hair in frustration, "I'll call them again; this is just...", "Why don't you take a break? Breathe for a moment", you said, lowering the order papers onto the desk. Eyes searching his. You've only been in the office for ten minutes, and all that time Carmy had been shouting. A frustrated sigh left his lips as he buried his face in his hands. You stepped closer, your fingers instantly reaching for his hair. Running your fingers through his curls, you let him do what felt best, and Carmen wasted no time in bringing his hands up to rest on your hips, his face buried in your stomach. He let out a frustrated growl, and then the place went silent.

"Talk to me. Say anything", his voice was barely a mutter, but you heard him perfectly. He did this often. Whenever the voices in his head got too loud, he would ask you to speak. Tell him whatever pops into your head. It didn't even have to make sense. He just needed to hear it. The smooth sound of your voice. "We ran out of milk, and I managed to put on a wash before I left", Your fingers dragged down his neck and shoulders. "We'll have clean sheets; can you believe it?", you chuckled softly. The apartment looked like shit if you were being honest, but then you spend so little time there these days.

"We can buy milk on our way back", Carmy said, pulling away slightly. "Yeah, we sure can", you hummed. Just as a knock made you both turn toward the door, A dark-skinned girl with big eyes stood there, looking at Carmy as if she had seen a holy spirit. "I... I... I want to help with the kitchen. To work, I mean", she stuttered, and you instantly turned to her fully. "We talked yesterday, didn't we?", You reached your hand towards her, and she shook it gently. "We sure can use a second set of hands", You smiled at her, yet her eyes didn't leave Carmy. "Sydney and... My resume", she handed the papers to Carmy, who flipped through them straight away.

In a perfect world with a perfect system, you would have loved to give her a rundown of the place. Unfortunately, this wasn't a normal place, nor was the situation normal. So Sydney was left to listen to the constant swearing and bickering of everyone else. It was half-decent until Richie showed up. Shouting at the top of his lungs about all that Carmy was doing wrong. And that fucking pasta of his. You gripped the knife tighter but stayed out of it. This wasn't a fight you wanted to be a part of.

"As if we need another know-it-all in the kitchen. Don't need that fancy shit,", he barked, glaring at the girl. Sydney's head was hung low, but she too said nothing. Doing her thing as she got ready for family. "We don't need this shit; it was fine till Carmy stepped in, fine till you showed up", Richie slurred, and the last straw snapped within you: "Get your head out of your ass and drop it", your glare met him, and you could feel the way all of the anger within him now ran directly to you. Boiled even more because of you.

"And who's talking? One more burden Carmen dragged from New York", he spat, stepping closer to you, no doubt trying to intimidate you, but you didn't back away. "We should have lost you at the airport", he said bitterly. "What will your art degree do for us? Want to paint walls, sweetie?". You were so glad that he had turned away from you after the words left his mouth because you were a moment away from...

"Jesus, Y/N.", Tina's voice made you blink a couple of times. You felt her finger on your palms, and your gaze followed her touch. The chopping board was covered in blood. You must have lost track of your movements and senses. Trying too hard to keep your composure. Or maybe Richie's words hurt worse than the cut palm. "Cover for me, Sydney", you muttered, pulling the towel from your shoulder and pressing it to the wound. "Don't you need...", she tried to interfere. "Just fucking cover for me, please".

Slamming the freezer door shut, you let your back hit the side shelf. God, you were glad Carmy wasn't here. That call from the butcher couldn't have come at a better time. Richie was your headache to carry. Adding that to Carmen's shoulders won't help. He had hated you from the moment you showed up. You always cared too much and too little in his eyes. You tried to reason with him. He was grieving too, but fuck was he an ass when he wanted to be. And he wanted to be most of the time. Angry tears ran down your cheeks. You were just so fucking tired. So tired of it all. Of the shouting. Of the worrying.

"We don't have time. Where the fuck is she? The vegetables won't cook themselves", Carmy's voice ran through the freezer. You pressed your fingers into your eyes, gritting your teeth for a moment before stepping out. "On them, chef", you called out, wrapping the bandage around your hand messily. As long as it stopped the blood, it would have to do. And Carmy was a split second away from shouting again until his eyes fell on your palm.

"What the fuck happened?", he asked, marching forward. Forgetting all the corners, behinds, and whatnot. "Nothing happened", you muttered, turning to Sydney, "I'll take it from here, thanks". But Carmy caught your wrist and said, "Like hell, you will; what the fuck happened?". You knew that this all was coming from a good place, but the tone of his voice didn't soothe you. "We have shit to do, chef", you said, waving your head out of his grip and turning your back to him.

You hoped he would just walk away. Just drop it. Let it be. Let it all sizzle out. "Learn to fucking hold a knife", he grunted, his hand came into contact with your injured palm as he pressed it firmly onto the handle, making you whine in pain. "Hold it for fuck sake", he barked again, only tightening his grip as if he was blind to the blood seeping through the bandage. "I fucking am", You ripped his hand away with your other hand, pushing at his chest to get him away from you.

"Stop being a crybaby and be useful for once", Carmy's words left you defenseless. Your body froze. Cold shivers running down your back. You surely didn't hear it right. Carmy threw the knife across the table and turned his back away from you. Was he about to walk away? Just like that. Like nothing happened. "Fuck you", you threw the same bloody towel his way, "If I'm so fucking useless, feel free to find someone else", Carmy halted in his steps, but he didn't turn around. Clapping filled your ears, and you found smug-looking Richie, beaming like the promised sun today, saying, "Should have been an actress". You bit the inside of your cheek. Quickly undo your apron before storming outside.

[captain039]

PART 4 He’s Grumpy, I’m sunshine

Alpha!Logan x omega!reader

Warnings: AOB, age gap (legal), light swearing, grumpy/sunshine, anxiety, mental health issues, m violence, torture, plus size reader, medication usage for anxiety, depression and sleeping, heat pills, scent blockers

Set at Charles school

Your mutation: fire creation and control

Previous part <-

My mind is just horny for Hugh Jackman it’s bad xD

The next day you wait till around dinner time to head to the bar, you put on a fancy dress and some low heels, throw on some makeup and sigh. You stare at your reflection poking your stomach, hips and waist, you had put on one of those slender shapewear things too. You rolled your eyes opened the bathroom door a little harshly and grabbed your small purse.

“Let’s go” you grumbled hating this plan already.

“Actually, no, why the hell am I here?” You turn making Logan almost run into you.

“Never been on a mission before?” He asks.

“No?” You say frowning and he falters.

“You’ve been itching to get out the school” he says.

“How do you know that?” You ask, you’d only just gone to speak with Jean about it when you walked in on them both in her lab.

“Because-“ he growls a little pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Stay here” he says moving out the way.

“No, you said to come, so I will go” his lips curls up showing the two fangs he has.

“Omega” he grumbles as you walk out the motel door and to the car.

You had thrown on some perfume to go over your dulled scent, like hell you could flirt your way into a secret fighting ring. Better off getting your ass caught and thrown in there. You stare out the window till you arrive. When you enter you already hate it, your whole body tenses and you feel eyes. You forced Logan to wait at least ten minutes before coming in. You sit in a small booth finding yourself ready to flee and your hands overly hot. Logan walks in, cigar in his mouth, leather jacket over his shoulders. You take a small breath as he heads over to the bar. You didn’t look at him properly when you left the motel, jeans, plain white shirt and a leather brown jacket with boots. He orders so naturally and you wish you took the keys for yourself. You know he’s appealing, the few other women in the bar getting an eye full. You don’t blame them but the heat dancing on your palm says otherwise.

“Can I get ya something doll?” A older woman asks.

“Just a smoothie?” You ask and she smiles and nods. It was a bar cross restaurant you think from the dining tables to one side with the register and small display of foods and the bar and pool table on the other side. Logan starts talking around, grabs a pool cue and joins the game. You were truely going to hell for your thoughts as he bent over the table and striked the ball. The waitress comes with your juice and you thank her. You relax a bit, nobody’s on this side of the restaurant, the smoothie is nice and cold too though your head feels a little funny. You look out the window to the dusty car park figuring Logan could handle majority of this mission. You sigh a bit glancing back to Logan seeing a brunette woman by his side. She’s gorgeous, slim waist and body, nice sized boobs and ass, the dress complimenting her every curve and just the right amount of makeup on her face. She’s faking not knowing how to play, or she genuinely doesn’t know how to play as Logan shows her. He doesn’t do the whole get behind her thing and lean with her though, which makes her disappointed even if she gets one of the pool balls in the shoot.

Logan hates himself, he hadn’t realised you had never been on a mission and Charles sure as hell didn’t ask you and him to go. It was supposed to be Jean and him, but when you walked in shoulders tense and looking ready to burst again he decided you and him needed to get out. You’re quiet the whole ride, awkwardly trying to act normal as he forces himself not to smile at it. You don’t know how to act around him, he doesn’t blame you, he’s always been a cold hard bastard. When you have a shower he stares at the door wondering if you’d let him join you, he wants to fell your body so bad, feel those thighs around his head, sink his teeth into your flesh while you moan his name. He’s worked up even more now he swears, you’re too shy and kind for someone like him. Once the shower stops he sighs a little missing his opportunity, he frowns though when you take a long time in there and your anxiety peeks. It’s like he’s in tune with you and he gets up and knocks. Your response has him on edge and opening the door without permission. Seeing you in a towel, flushed and fresh out the shower has his dick hardening. Fuck he wants to smell you, breathe in that sweet scent he knows you have. He sees the syringes in the counter though and his face turns hard. It looks like something Hank cooked up which probably means it’s for your mutation. He gets snappy for no reason and growls when he does leaving you confused. He smokes even though it does nothing before going back inside and seeing you already tucked in your bed. He slides his shirt off and kicks off his shoes before he’s in bed too.

He lays awake, one hand above his head one resting on his chest, he hears you whimper a few times and frowns before you start to mumble panicked and your scent spikes. He’s up quickly and sitting on the edge of your bed, your over heating, he sees small flames dance on your face as it squints. He shakes you gently and you’re up quickly hands out. You burn his chest and he hisses. He hates how you instantly worry and sadden tears in your eyes. He heals easily though, he’d get burnt a thousand times if it meant to be this close. He curses your scent blocker, wants to set it on fire and throw the ashes far away from your reach. He wants to lean forward feel your lips against his, feel your heated body against his.

Watching you now sip whatever the hell that was in your cup and look outside a little calmed in that perfect black dress. He forgot breathing was a thing till his lungs demanded air. Your hips looked so grabable, the way your hair sat was perfect. You were safer over there than here while he talked and tried to gather information. A beta woman came up to him though, flirted with big brown eyes and innocence. He played along for a bit hoping to gather information, but he doubted she’d know, she wasn’t a mutant, nor did she smell like anything related to violence. He showed her how to shoot properly and she lost interest thankfully. He looked back to you, your eyes hard on the woman and pride swelled up in him. He saw small flickers of flame along your skin as you caught his eyes and looked away with red cheeks. He walks over, he doesn’t think anyone here has information. Slides in the booth while you frown a little still blushing.

“Come play” he cocks his head a small smirk on his lip’s and you choke a little on your drink.

“No thank you, I’m happy here with my smoothie, pretty sure the blonde wants a go” you gesture vaguely to the other side.

“Come on” he’s teasing, seeing if you’ll break as his nose flares a little catching something sweet that isn’t your perfume.

“Fine” you sigh.

This was a bad idea, agreeing to whatever evil plan the alpha conspired. You hate the looks the women give and think about going back.

“Logan-“ you say hesitantly but he’s already grabbed two pool cues and set up the table.

“Do you know how to play?” He asks.

“Vaguely, whoever shoots first, if they get a high or low in that’s their numbers, first one to get all there numbers in and then the eight wins” you shrug and see him with a small look of awe on his face.

“You shoot” he cocks his head to the table as stands casually.

“I’m not good at this” you grumble. You lean down and aim, hitting the ball harshly, too harshly, it ends up bouncing and you wish the earth would swallow you up.

“Too much force” Logan says.

“You go first” you get embarrassed and hurry away feeling your head spin a little again.

“Hey” the alpha holds your arm and you jolt a bit. You gulp a little feeling like everyone’s watching you with hatred that this handsome alpha is focused on you.

“Logan-“ you sigh looking to his face. He’s got some puppy dog look going on and you almost choke again. You take a small breath a small frown on your face, you could pick up more of his scent now.

“Just- you go first” you say quietly and he nods. He rearranges the balls and hits them easily, a high going in first.

“Guess I’m highs” he’s says and you nod going around the table. You lean down a little thankful this dress is below knee high. You aim a bit till Logan’s voice makes you jump.

“You won’t hit there” he says and you huff turning to him a small smile playing at his lips. He walks to you and your heart rate picks up as he slides his body easily around yours. Your cheeks flush instantly and realise he’s going to really show you how to shoot. Your mind kicks into override and you scramble out of his hold breathing quickly and he frowns.

“This was a bad idea, keys? Keys where’s the keys” you say rushed body hot as he hands you the keys. You rush outside letting the cool air calm your body and small flames flickering on your arms. You feel like crying and curse softly as you hang your head.

“You ok there doll face?” You frown looking to your left seeing an alpha leaning against the wall smoking.

“Yes, sorry” you say shuffling away a bit as you catch his scent with a small frown. Why was everyone’s scents stronger? You think back to last night body going ridged as you remember in your hastiness to put the serum away you forgot your anti-heat and scent blockers. Panic rises up in you, sure you’ve forgotten them before at the safety of the school where you had access to your room and a locked door.

“Logan” you mumble needing to get inside till the alpha nearby blocks it. You frown not use to this kind of treatment as he a smirk plays at his face. He looks ok you guess, bear a little messy, teeth a bit too yellow for your liking. You feel your hands shake and feel the heat of your flames along your skin.

“Sir I need to get back to my alpha” you lie and he glances to your neck scoffing.

“What alpha?” He leans closer as you back away, but he follows.

“This one” Logan growls behind him, pulling the man away from you and punching him. The man’s knocked out instantly and you take a small shaky breath.

“You ok?” He asks a frown on his face as you shake your head. Gods his scent, it flares with worry as he comes closer nose flaring, eyes narrowing.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t take-“ you take a small breath hugging your body, flames dancing across your arms.

“Hey, hey it’s ok” Logan comes closer large hands on your heated skin.

“You barged in and I panicked with the serum I forgot to take them” you feel tears in your eyes, you feel stupid. Logan has a frown on his face but he tugs you to him, arms going around your shoulders, a hand cradling your head. You shudder forced to breathe him in a small noise leaving your throat. You can’t help your arms going around him and nuzzling closed, wanting his scent all over you. You feel something prick your neck then and jolt.

“Logan” you slur as your body goes limp.

Next part ->

Taglist:

@beanhardy

[samandcolbyownme]

Summary: A little blurb about you turning to your best friend, Nick, after a rough couple of days.

Warnings: nothing but a little swearing, bestfriend!nick, fluff

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

You push the door to the Sturniolo house open, letting out a sigh as you click it closed, “Nick?” You call out as you kick off your sneakers, “Where are you?”

“Livingroom.”

You walk up the steps and stand there with a pouty look on your face, “Hi.”

“Hey what-“ he looks at you, sitting up from his lying position, “what’s going on?” He tilts his head and you walk over and plop down on the couch, “I’m just so tired of life right now.”

“Are you.. okay?” He wraps his arm around your shoulder and pulls you into him, “What’s going on?”

You take a deep breath, “It’s just.. been one thing after another and I just-“ you huff, “I need a fucking break, or something. I don’t know.”

“Oh, sweetie.” Nick brings his other arm up, hugging you tighter, “Life sucks sometimes, but you want to know something?”

You nod, mumbling, “Yes.”

“It’s okay to take a break from life. Stay in, silence your phone, whatever it is you need to do. You come first.” He gives you another squeeze, “You always come first.”

You nod silently and he sits you up, “When is your next day off?”

“I have off the next two days.” You wipe your face and he nods, “Good. Give me your phone.” He holds out his hand and you lay it in his palm, “What are-“

“I’m in charge of this for the next two days. Your only job is to relax. I will be your bodyguard, make sure my idiot brothers don’t come out here and annoy you.”

You let out a laugh, nodding as you sigh, “As much as I’ll hate that. I know I need it.”

“Exactly.” Nick nods, “Putting your mental health first is something you need to do. It took me a while, but when you know what the signs of burnout are, and you can set boundaries, it’ll be easier.”

You nod, reaching out to gently push his shoulder, “ Thank you for being my comfort person.”

He smiles and rolls his eyes, “Yeah, no problem or whatever.” He laughs and pulls you in for a hug, “I’m glad you have someone you can confide in. Everyone needs that person, and I’m happy I can be yours.”

“You’re my best friend.” You hug him tighter, ticking his sides to make him laugh. He pushes you away, laughing as he guards himself, “Well, you were mine until you did that.”

He scoffs and your jaw drops, “Niiick..I’m going to start crying again.”

He groans, “Oh no, please don’t. I’m kidding. You’re my best friend too.” He smiles and stands up, “I’m going to grab snacks, you pick a movie, and then another, and then another because we’re having a movie night until you feel better.”

“On it.” You move back into his spot, leaning back against the arm of the couch to get comfortable as you scroll through the movie lists.

─── ⋆⋅ ☾⋅⋆ ───

Your mental health IS important. YOU are important.

Thank you so much for reading! I know this is short, but I just wanted to get someone fluffy out. I love you so much! Catch you in the next one! 🖤

Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!

[chlorinecake]

i need (politely) more fics like the one with wonbin where they fuck while being high, yk? with whoever you want, i’m down for everything. i need it for my soul and for my well being LOVE U CHLOE

grapefruit diet | s. es

𓂋 stoner boyfriend!eunseok x fem!reader, body image themes, pda, some car action (ykyk), giggly high sex with a mix of praise and body worship, lots of kissing and swearing as always, 3.7k wc

author’s note 𓂋 this is part of my unofficial Euphoria x Riize series where each member is assigned a song from the show and a stoner trope, so feel free to comment who you’d like to see next!

“BABE, WE JUST bought a two-pound bag of grapefruits last week… there’s no way you’re out of ‘em already,” Eunseok said from behind you, voice low and a bit gravelly from his lengthy smoke session earlier.

You could never smell the herb in his clothes, but it usually lingered in his breath for a bit, making you crave a few blows yourself just from kissing him.

Cravings… the word meddled in your mind for a moment until you realized Eunseok was still waiting on your reply.

“I’ve been having one for every meal, though, so I’ll need more for next week…” you replied, sentence coming out more like a mumble towards the end as you leaned down to examine the fruit before you, trying to find the perfect bag.

Perfectionism… another word you aspired to mirror someday, despite how much it pained you.

“Are you on some sort of diet I should know about?”

It’s no secret that you struggle with body image from time to time, and Eunseok’s always been concerned for your health, taking mental notes and observations on both your behavioral and physical changes.

He’d never say anything to your face, though.

He’s respectful enough to keep his thoughts concerning you to himself...

“One you should know about? Not exactly… but I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results if I stay on tract this time…” you smiled softly, tossing the bag of grapefruit in the shopping cart and taking a few steps away.

The sound of the basket’s slightly rusted wheel’s squeaked behind you as Eunseok followed your short path.

“I won’t say anything against your choice because I trust you’ll be careful, but just know that I’m in love with you either way, ____.”

You suddenly went quiet on him, feeling your breathing pattern change from his choice of words.

Trust… Careful… Love...

“Either wayyy, alright?” He pressed, looking into your eyes for confirmation before giving your shoulder a playful shake and placing a tender kiss on the corner of your mouth.

“I’m in love with you too, baby,” you said, wiping his kiss off with your thumb and dragging it across his lower lip, eyes meeting his intensely, “sort of.”

“Cute,” Eunseok smiled, pretty teeth coming into view with his laughter before he gripped the shopping cart handle and tilted his head at you, “Now get in, will ya?”

Letting out a sigh and playfully rolling your eyes, you climbed into the shopping basket, sitting against the back end so you could face him as he pushed you around the grocery aisles.

You two were always that one couple who proudly displayed affection for each other in public.

Whether that be with his hand tucked into your back jean pocket while strolling through the library, or baby-talking to each other while hugging outside his workplace, you two had to be touching... one way or another.

And these clingy tendencies were only amplified whenever you two were buzzed...

Your fingers grazed over his knuckles as he pushed the basket, peppering them with kisses as he looked down at you, moving the hand that wasn't occupied by your lips to pat your head slightly.

“Want anything else before we go? You know how we can sometimes get the munchies after smoking,” Eunseok started, eyes now scanning over the aisle signs as he continued walking at a steady pace.

Humming tiredly at his proposal, you thought in your mind how badly you'd been wanting to sink your teeth into something that wasn't another bitter grapefruit or the flesh of Eunseok's wrist while cuddling in bed.

But you were so proud of yourself for staying committed to your diet over the past week... you don't get why you decided to smoke with him earlier, knowing that it'd only make it harder for you to control your now salivating tongue.

“Ranch-style chicken sub with bacon, lettuce, and tomato,” your boyfriend read from the label of a tightly wrapped deli item, “looks good to me.”

“You know I won’t eat all of that, Eunseok,” you replied, hands now sitting in your lap as you fidgeted with your chipped nail polish.

Why was he even tempting you right now?

He knows how important it is to you to stay in shape-

“Then we'll split it... and if I'm still hungry, I'll eat whatever you leave behind,” he said, interrupting your thoughts while grabbing a bag of Cheetoes from the nearby chip rack, “deal?”

Your stomach grumbled, the pain in your head started to throb and you couldn't tell if it was because of the weed or your hunger.

Reaching from the basket, you gently took the wrapped sub from his grasp, turning it over to analyze the nutritional facts label, reading 560 calories, 24g fat, 51g carbs, and 38g protein.

It was definitely a lot more calorie-dense than the usual half a grapefruit you ate for lunch every day, but it would definitely stop you from feeling nauseous right now.

Besides, you knew he wouldn't let you say no, and he was nice enough to agree to split it instead of buying you a whole one, “Fine.”

SITTING IN THE passenger seat of Eunseok's car, he passed you a water bottle to help wash your food down, happy in your heart that you decided to go ahead and eat with him even though he bought a whole sub for himself yet still ate the rest of what you didn’t want like he promised.

You were now just a few minutes from home, a Dean song playing faintly in the background as you couldn't get over how hot your boyfriend looked while driving.

“You're staring at me,” he started, eyes training on the road ahead as the red light switched to green, “why?”

“Because we decided to smoke pot together instead of fucking like we really wanted to,” you answered shamelessly, feeling warm in your stomach now that you'd actually said it.

“Just got your energy back, and you're already thinking of ways to use it all up again,” he replied, driving with only one hand on the steering wheel as he relaxed into a manspreading position in his seat, knowing that it'd only drive you crazy.

You couldn't believe this guy, not sure if his comment was one of rejection or an invitation, but you just took it as the later.

Looking in the glove department, you pulled out a sleek box mod, only to put it back once you noticed it wasn't fully charged.

You instead reached for the fresh blunt that was stuffed in your bra from earlier, heating it with your hot pink pocket lighter before guiding it to your lips and giving it an inhale.

“What's the point of saving energy anyway if we're just gonna be boring with it?,” you offered, watching him glance at you through the corner of his eye before you guided the blunt to his lips as he kept driving.

Gently holding his face in place, you let him inhale a puff of his own, cloudy smoke swiveling in pretty shapes around you both before dissolving in the air around his lips.

“Thanks, princess,” he said in a now low voice, the sound of the ignition ascending over the music as he sped along the highway, “now sit back down and put your seatbelt on…”

There he goes again… telling you what to do like he always did.

Leaning away from him, you sat back down properly this time, reaching for your seatbelt and fastening it with a subtle click, “You’re bossy as hell, y’know that?”

“Yup. And disobeying me seems to be a great motivator for you,” he went on, letting out a breath as he felt your eyes on his lap, your hands creeping closer to him, “don’t touch me while I’m driving.”

“I was only looking—”

“I’m serious, ____,” he interrupted your sentence, voice sounding like a mix of strained and stern emotions.

You watched his Adam’s apple bob in his throat with a swallow… he always had a habit of doing that whenever he was turned on…

Your dry lips met the joint once again, letting it's fumes fill your chest with another fast-inducing hit of whatever psychedelic mix Eunseok initially rolled it with a few hours ago.

With this, you decided to take your chance, creeping a finger up his thigh closest to you and letting your hand massage into his bulge.

The car suddenly jolted forward, his foot having slammed on the breaks at your actions, “Are you out of your mind?!”

“Maybe a little,” you replied seductively, now unbuckling his belt and zipping down his pants, “just keep your eyes on the road and let me please you…”

He let out a sigh at your words, followed by a hiss as your hand returned to stroking him through his boxers, a small smile poking at the corner of your lips at the feeling of him hardening beneath your touch.

His free hand took to blunt from your idle grasp, giving it another long puff before placing it down to sizzle out on the dashboard.

“Fine… but since you really wanna play that game, don’t keep me waiting,” he said with a heavy voice, hand finding your head in an almost petting manner as you leaned over the seat, face hovering over where he wanted you most.

But you had no intention of using your mouth for him, wanting to make him crave you even more to the point where he’d have no other choice but to fuck you once you two got home…

By now, the music in the background was drowned out by the sound of faint groans thrumming from his mouth, eyes falling lazy as it became harder for him to concentrate on the road with the way you were stroking him.

You let a wad of spit dribble from your lips and onto his tip, his dick twitching a bit in your hand at the sudden feeling.

“Fuck,” he groaned with a raspy voice as your grip around him intensified with your speed, “your hands are so cold…”

You almost couldn’t hide the giggle that came out of you at his words, “Well I’m not using my mouth, so get over it…”

“Why not, pretty? Don’t feel like swallowing?,” he teased, gripping a handful of your hair and forcing you to look up at him, a weak whine stuck in your dry throat.

“It’s not that,” you whispered weakly, dragging out the strokes of your hand around his dick while looking into his glossy eyes, “I just know that you won’t kiss me afterwards if I suck you off...”

He let out an amused snicker, his next sentence being broken off by the feeling of your spit coating his tip once again.

As good as your hand felt wrapped around him right now, he couldn’t help but crave the warmth of your pussy, slamming his foot on the gas to get you both home sooner.

Besides, he’d had enough of your teasing, and it was only getting harder for him to hold back the longer he sat there, hands bound either to the steering wheel or the nape of your neck.

So lost in the pleasure, you're not sure if he even noticed it when your free hand slipped between your legs, teasing the throbbing ache growing at your core.

It didn't take long for you two to arrive, Eunseok trying his best to still park the car in the driveway neatly, despite how he'd just did pot a few minutes ago with your needy hands never ceasing to pump him...

He gave you a non-verbal cue to stop touching him by gently guiding your shoulder away from him.

He fought his hardest to hide the way his thighs were trembling, even though it was obvious all over his flushed face how needy you were making him feel.

You crawled even closer to him, letting the weight of your hand push into his thigh as you braced yourself to meet his lips in a desperate kiss, “I'm so nice for not making you cum all in your pants, huh?”

“Not like you wouldn't have cleaned me up anyways,” he replied with almost mumbled words, the mix of weed and lust in his system right now making him feel dizzy.

That's when you saw his hand reach into the glove department, pulling out a pack of baby wipes and handing you one, “For your hand...”

It was funny how meticulous he could be with staying neat sometimes. Almost as meticulous as you could be when it came to your appearance.

“My hand's are fine, Eunseok, I just jerked you off,” you said, holding the wipe in your palm until he took your hand by the wrist, wiping each individual finger for you.

“The other hand, please,” he continued, your arm obediently giving him your hand to wipe the slick spread all over your fingers, “can't believe you couldn't wait for me to please you, ____... did your pathetic little fingers feel any good?”

“Not as good as yours,” you smirked, crawling backwards and out of the car, both of your movements rushed yet lazy as you made it to the front door together, wrapping yourself around your boyfriend's arm.

“Just try not to fall over because I'm not sure I'll be able to catch you right now,” he teased, twisting the front door knob with one hand as his tingly arm tried bracing you with the other.

Neither of you are sure if it was the free slick meddling between both your legs or the burnt weed coursing through your bloodstream making you feel more dizzy.

Eunseok gave the house a quick scan in his mind as he tried contemplating on the safest place for you high fools to have a quick fuck, his head tilting toward the ceiling with closed eyes.

He could hear you lock the front door from behind him, humming at the proceeding feeling of you sliding his jacket from his shoulders and hanging it on the wall rack.

“God, you're in such a hurry today, baby, gimme a sec,” he chuckled, watching as you started to work on taking his belt off, using the buckle to hold him in place as your lips met his.

Thirsty, yet somehow sloppily.

“You've kept me waiting long enough already,” you exhaled breathlessly, palming him through his jeans as you felt his teeth barely snug at your lower lip, his cold grip finding your warm waist.

“Just settle down, mhm?” he growled lowly with a sly look on his sharp feature, “daddy's gonna take good care of you...”

You rolled your eyes at his words, playfully smacking him on the chest before your scoffs turned into yelps, his arms lifting you from the ground and wrapping your legs around him.

“Eun- Eunseok, you kinky bastard, r-release me!,” you squirmed, watching over his shoulder as you suddenly made it from the front door to your shared bedroom.

He plopped you on the mattress, letting out one of the most attractive sighs you'd ever heard before guiding your hands back to his belt buckle.

“Finish taking it off for me, and I might forgive you for calling me a name...”

You looked at him with baby-doll eyes, which were painfully stained a light shade of red from the weed you smoked earlier, “Sorry,” you said sarcastically softly, leaning forward to free the leather belt from his hips with your hands, “You know I was only messing with you... daddy...”

All he did was stroke your hair in response, the shadow of a smile on his face at your sense of humor.

In a strange way, your playful demeanor only turned him on even more, and he simply couldn't get over how pretty you looked from this angle.

Hair slightly disheveled, your once sharp black eyeliner smudged into a grey blur over your eyelids, and your lips a bit more plush than usual from his teeth nipping at them...

What Eunseok was feeling right now was different from any craving he'd ever felt before... a yearning he'd only ever felt for you.

The same word that meddled relentlessly in the back of your mind, stacked at the very top of your own impossible standards for yourself was the very word on the tip of his tongue right now...

Perfection.

And you were just that in every sense of the word.

The space between you two was warm right now, the mere clothes on your back feeling a bit excessive as your hearts continued to race, despite your minds being still as stone.

“You're absolutely gorgeous,” your boyfriend nearly blurted out, making your hands halt as his sudden words.

“Stop it, Eunseok...,” your voice fell gently to an almost inaudible whisper, gaze falling down to the ground only for his loving hand to guide your chin back up to face him.

“Stop what, darling?”

You let out a breath, struggling to keep eye contact as you started to feel embarrassed, “...Trying to make me feel better about myself...”

“Baby,” he started with a sigh, sitting down beside you on the bed and stroking your slouched shoulder, “these aren't just empty words of mine... you seriously are the most beautiful girl in the world to me, and I wish you could see that, ____...”

It was almost enough to make you cry once he slowly slide you hoodie off and started peppering kisses from your wrist and up to your collarbone.

“I wish I could see that, too,” you admitted, finding comfort in the way his lips made love to you, even at the seemingly neglected areas like behind your ear, where he happily nibbled in his fit of praise.

“Then allow me to remind you how beautiful you are to me,” he whispered, turning your face to his as he finally met your lips again in a sweet embrace, which soon escalated as his tongue went to tangle with yours.

“My needy girl,” he smiled after pulling down your jeans single-handedly, his straight fingers sliding over the paper-thin panties you wore, evidently soaked with yoru slick from how long you'd been waiting for this, “you're honestly the prettiest when the only thought on your mind is my cock...”

“Wanna bet I'd look even prettier once you're actually inside me?,” you asked teasingly, not even realizing that you were slowly rutting against his fingers as he slid them over your folds.

“Oh? And where has this sudden confidence come from?”

You bunched up a bit of his shirt in your fists before pulling him back close to you, feeling even more hungry for the sensation of his mouth against yours.

“Maybe because I'm finally getting what I want,” you answered, just as a weak moan cracked from your throat when he angled your head up by the jaw with his hand, kissing down your neck desperately.

He really didn't have any more time to waste, and it only benefited his stamina even more now that the effects of the weed were starting to settle in for him...

Not fully kick in, but settle...

His warmth left your body for a moment as he stood up to take off his shirt before leaning back down, his hands groping one of your tits as he shimmied his pants the rest of the way down with his free hand, the under-side of his tongue salivating at the sight of your erect nipples.

“How blank is your mind right now?” He asked, letting his shaft slap on your clit as he slid it down to poke at your entrance.

“Just foggy,” you said with a dry swallow, feeling yourself grow even more dumb with lust as he teased your hole with just the tip.

He hummed at your words, barely thrusting his head in before your legs started to shake, “Well you can trust that I'll be careful with you unless you want me to go harder... Is that a deal, love?”

Trust… Careful… Love...

The last word you remember saying was a cheeky “Deal” in return before he pushed himself all the way in, thrusting through your tightness as you eventually warmed up to his size.

Needless to say, a bit of the herbal effects still lingered in your system as he kept rutting into your heat as if half of his mind wasn't wandering on cloud 9 right now.

His eyes blinked with flutters before sealing shut with a hum at the feeling of your walls clenching around him, waves of pleasure bouncing through both your bodies as his sweaty forehead came into contact with yours, his thrusts only getting faster and faster.

Not in a rough way, but with passion.

That was up until you kept arching your back off of the mattress, his strong hand having to push you down so he could fuck into you properly.

You always liked it whenever you two fucked after smoking... the way he'd kiss you all hot and heavy while murmuring the dirtiest of things into the crook of your neck, and the way he'd look into your eyes while high on two different chemicals, wanting nothing more but to bring you over the edge with him and fall into each other's pleasure.

“Fuck, baby, you're doing so good for me- shit, feels so good, princess,” he panted on top of you, his own mind starting to mirror the fog meddling in yours, especially with the way your tits were bouncing right now.

Your body and of course everything else about you was quite literally like a wet dream to him, and if he had the choice, he'd never wanna wake up from it.

By now though, he could tell that you were way into it just from the way your breath wobbled like it waswalking along a tightrope, incoherent whimpers of yes, please, and mmm's bouncing off the bedroom walls.

He felt his hips stutter just as a loud curse escaped his mouth, his slimy thickness pulling out of you as spurts of his cum coated your throbbing pussy, feeling especially warm against your sweaty skin.

Everything in his body wanted to fuck his release back into you, but he knew it was best not to, especially with the way your body was contracting from your orgasm.

He leaned down for the last time to leave tender kisses all over your chest and face, whispering sweet I love you's into the sensual air flowing between you.

He gave both of your tired muscles a moment to calm down before rolling on his back, your chests still heaving as little sighs passed through your swollen lips, the taste of each other pretty evident on both your tongues.

“Was that worth the wait, baby?” He asked first, an obvious smile on his face once he saw you get up in his peripheral vision, legs still wobbly as you crawled over to straddle him, twitching from how sensitive you felt right now.

“Almost... but it definitely could've lasted a bit longer,” you teased, letting your hands roam over his toned abs as you slowly rocked your hips against him, letting your core coat him all over again with your wetness.

You felt his touch travel from your goosebump-stained thighs and all the way up to your lower back, where he guided you to let him back inside.

Both of your energy levels were near completely spent right now, and that was just from your first round taking him.

Even so, if there's one thing about you two as a couple, it's that your clingy tendencies only heighten whenever you're buzzed, and with the look on your faces in this moment, he didn't plan on putting that fact to rest.

“I suppose another round wouldn't hurt,” he smirked, watching as you slid down his length while biting your lip, more than ready to use the last of your energy to ride out another high...

As the narrator, I would love to end the story here, but in favor of the over-thinkers, I should clarify that you and Eunseok ended up forgetting the grapefruits in his car trunk by accident...

Not that either of you cared, though... with the way your night ended, it was totally worth the wasted three dollars and some change on a bag of bitter fruit and future hunger-pains...

🛒 personal note to the original anon: Hopefully this fic did your soul some justice :'] and TYSM for requesting this!! Apologies for taking so long to get to your ask, but either way, I think it's super sweet how much you enjoy my stoner!tropes, and I look forward to writing more for you in the near future ~

🛒 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ( 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 ) @squoxle @wonbinisbabygurl @ashgonedash @yourmomscuntis2tighy @addictedtohobi @ot7sevenlvr + the link to my riize master list ! ! !

[laurfilijames]

All I Want...

Pairing: Will Miller x reader

Words: 1.3k

Warnings: Angst. Swearing. PTSD. Panic attack. Mentions of an unhappy childhood, military service, personnel being KIA. Tom's death. Grief. People being unhappy at Christmas. (There's some fluff too, bear with me!)

Summary: Will tries to fight off a panic attack early on Christmas morning, his unenthusiastic feelings toward the holiday making him feel guilty on top of everything else on his mind, only to be reminded that it's okay to not feel festive and that he's not alone.

A/N: I'll be the first one to admit that Christmas isn't all it's cracked up to be sometimes. People often call me Scrooge, but I've learned over the years to prioritize my mental health around the holidays and take it all in stride. To those who struggle in any kind of way this time of year, I see you, and this is for you.

This fic follows some of my headcanons about the Miller brothers in that they didn't have a great upbringing, and that Will often suffers from poor sleep and panic attacks.

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Scrooge. The Grinch.

These were some of the names bestowed upon Will over the years, his less than enthusiastic feelings toward Christmas noticed and pointed out as often as possible during the holiday season by those closest to him, mainly Benny.

It was innocent enough, his brother, Fish and Pope all aware and understanding to the reasons why Will wasn’t overly excited, but sometimes it got under his skin and the temptation to tell Ben to fuck off sat on the tip of his tongue on more than one occasion when he got going on a roll of teasing him.

He always tried his best to keep his opinions to himself, not caring to bring it up in order to avoid the shock and disbelief that someone could hate Christmas, having to stand and painfully listen to whoever was scolding his humbug ways try to convert him and preach all the reasons why it was so magical.

He had been this way for as long as he could remember, the earliest memories of an unhappy Christmas morning tucked away in the back of his mind until they inevitably were pushed back to the surface each time the radio stations turned their usual music to all the annoying holiday songs and people started asking the mundane “Are you ready for Christmas?” questions to everyone who never wanted to give an honest answer. He could always see the stress most people carried with them this time of year, the worry of spending money they didn’t have and not meeting expectations evident on their faces as they frantically rushed around to get all the things ticked off their lists to make the day ‘perfect’.

Perfect was never a word Will would use to describe any of his past Christmases, the thought making him scoff and shake his head as he looked up at the night sky, counting the stars as a way to try to clear the persistent thoughts that had gotten him out of bed at 3:26 AM.

Vivid images that he had tried to blur and forget always reappeared no matter how hard he tried; his parents yelling from the kitchen loud enough he had to peel Benny and his one toy from under the tree to go outside to get away from the anger, not to mention the countless Christmas mornings he woke up to gunfire or spent the day trudging through the rain and freezing cold, or had sweat clinging to his back in the heat of the desert, more often than not spending December 25th on tour and deployed somewhere that mimicked hell.

Will couldn’t help but feel guilt more than usual on days like today, thinking of all the families whose sons or daughters, husbands or wives and everything between never made it home to celebrate another Christmas with them, that shame becoming part of the reason he tended to make sure he was always off serving somewhere, not feeling like he deserved to be in the warm comforts of home with those he loved.

Add that to the long list of things his ex resented him for, one more thing he could never do right, and something else she refused to make an effort to understand despite him trying to explain it.

Today it seemed to all weigh more than it normally did.

Tom’s death was still fresh in all their minds, this being the first Christmas Molly and the girls would have to spend without him, and the thought of their irreparable grief made Will want to crumble.

He exhaled a long breath, blowing it out shakily from his lungs, his chest feeling tight as his heart pounded inside it like a caged animal.

He inhaled as slowly as he could manage, one, two, three, counting in his head to gain control over the quickly rising panic.

Exhaling out, one, two, three, his heart still hammering, his pulse furiously thrumming in his neck.

His hand shook as he lifted it up to rub the back of his neck roughly, feeling sweat accumulating on it and dampening his palm that was equally wet.

The steadiness of the number of seconds between each laboured breath was doing little to keep him calm, the thoughts of his conversation with you a couple of days prior echoing in his mind to drown them out along with the ringing in his ears.

You swore up and down a hundred times that you were fine with not celebrating, assuring him that you were relieved to not make a fuss over Christmas and reminding him that your own views of it were also plagued by unhappy memories; that being alone with him was more a gift than anything wrapped in paper and bows under a tree. He knew you meant it when you said you wanted to hide away with him until the madness of it all was over, but now his mind was playing tricks on him, making him doubt your words and sending him into a tailspin over projecting his attitude toward it on you.

But he knew you wouldn’t lie to him.

He kept on that train of thought as his fingers wrapped around the railing on the deck, gripping into the wood as hard as he could, feeling the splintered pieces from years of weather digging into his skin. Drawing in another short breath and gasping slightly, he did his best to remember why he came outside in the first place, seeking fresh air that ironically had become suffocating.

One, two, three, he repeated to himself again, closing his eyes to better focus on slowing his breathing down.

A minute and thirty-seven seconds had passed with him concentrating, able to let the consistency of the numbers aid him as he continued to count, the feel of your warm hands slipping up his cold, clammy back allowing him to finally release the tension he had been holding in his shoulders.

“I’m okay,” he muttered, his voice lacking the conviction he hoped it had.

“I never thought you weren’t,” you whispered, your hands still pressing reassuringly on his torso as you moved beside him, your lips meeting his shoulder to kiss it twice.

Will smiled, grateful for your belief in him, never making him feel weak or like he needed saving, simply there with a love and empathy he had sought his whole life.

He released his grip on the rail and glanced over at you, shooting you a weak smile gathering you in his arms for a hug, kissing the top of your head appreciatively while you continued to rub your hands in a calming, languid pattern across his skin.

“I love you,” he murmured, feeling his heart beat in a stronger rhythm different from how it had moments ago.

“I love you too, Will,” your lips moved against his chest, your arms squeezing him a little tighter as you pressed yourself closer to his body.

“You’re sure you’re happy to spend Christmas this way?”

“More than happy,” you reiterated, pulling your face away to look at him, his blue eyes like flames against the deep navy of the night sky.

“Okay,” he sighed, leaning in to kiss you.

“You know there’s that song, ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’,” you smiled, watching his expression change, his grin stretching out to form the creases in his cheeks as he shook his head.

“Please don’t sing it.”

“I wouldn’t dare.”

Will chuckled and kissed you again, slowly, his tongue slipping into your mouth with a gentle demand.

“Let’s get back to bed,” he said quietly, nodding toward the house after he broke the seal of your lips.

As he led you into the house, your fingers laced with his, he thought how maybe he could find ways to celebrate Christmas with you that wouldn’t make it all seem so terrible, the idea of creating your own traditions somewhat exciting to him.

He smiled at you over his shoulder, stopping in the middle of the hallway where he clasped your face in his hands and kissed you deeply, his body pressing into yours with a need to show you just how much you meant to him, knowing that as long as he was with you he could face anything.

---

Comments and reblogs are always appreciated and if you'd like to be added or removed from my taglist please let me know! 💗

Taglist: @sotwk @dailydragon08 @sunnys-day @thedreadandthefugitivemind @glassgulls @littlenosoul @glitterypirateduck @momia2910 @maggotzombie @rmwarn90 @paintlavillered @casa-boiardi @stealfromthedevil @kmc1989

[hoeforalbedo]

ᗪEᗩᒪ ᗯITᕼ TᕼE ᗪEᐯIᒪ ✟

Chapter 1

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WARNING: PLEASE READ

Sensitive topics including vague details of SA. Reader will display many mental health such as depression, PTSD, and anxiety. I will also discuss after effects of said trauma such as hyper sexuality, over-sexualizing oneself, over trusting, and many more. (Many cope in different ways however I am more familiar with this side of the spectrum as I have taken this information from my experience.) Suicidal topics. Horror. Manipulation. Blasphemy. Religious horror and possibly hints of religious trauma. Demons. Paganism. Witchcraft (I try to depict witchcraft as accurate as I can however if I make it too accurate, it will seem boring so I did add magical abilities. I write it based off of how I practice it). Possession. Death. Murder. Exorcism. Sex. Ritualistic sex. Female reader. A bit of crack (reader doesn’t take things seriously. Humor is the way of coping 😭)

If any of these themes trigger you, please do not read. You have already been warned.

Writing criticism is appreciated since I want to get better in writing.

SUMMARY: Everything is normal. I mean it. I swear.

———————— ♱ ————————

You went home feeling at ease and as you laid on your bed, you realized that maybe you should have invested in therapy. Hongjoong isn’t really qualified to be a therapist but he works just fine, plus he’s free.

Hongjoong is an interesting man. A hypocrite. A man so corrupted feels so tantalizing, like the fruit Eve was warned not to eat. The devil, these thoughts, they whisper at you, feeding you delusions of this man. You feel. . . Loved. Is that the right word? Love is a strong word and you just met the man but you just felt a strong connection. Maybe it’s because he gave you that ounce of validation you craved.

“You shouldn’t be going out on your own. Especially not with these serial killings going around,” Hongjoong joined you at the pew. You stare at the huge crucifix above the altar with contempt. You may have really come back at the wrong time. The small quiet town has been experiencing some serial killings. Many say it’s the devil. Others blame you, although it ultimately leads to the devil. Seriously, why can’t they just admit that some fucked up person did it?

You shrug nonchalantly. “We both know, nobody gives a shit about the murders. Plus, I didn’t want to be in that house. All I hear is their constant yapping of God.” You fight back the urge to roll your eyes. “It’s always God this and God that. God can suck my dick.”

“Do you resent God?” He asks curiously.

“Yes. Very much,” You scoff. “Isn’t it obvious? You know, after the talk we had at the confessional booth, I did something bad. I prayed to the devil,” You smile.

The man raised a brow, almost leaning towards you. “Did you now?” He asks with amusement laced in his voice.

“I did. I prayed that he would kill that motherfucker.”

“And?” He asks almost excitedly. Why is he feeling this way? He should be scolding you.

“I was watching the news and found out that he died. He was murdered. They also found that he was a predator. I think his other victims may feel some sort of relief that he’s dead,” You chuckle, as if the man’s death was the bare minimum.

“Are you happy?”

“Yes.” A comfortable silence falls between you for a moment before you speak up. “Although there’s gotta be a catch right? Maybe he wants my soul? Is my soul even that yummy?” Your brows furrow and your lips fall into a pout as you think deeply.

“Now why would you think that?” He chuckles.

“I’ve sinned,” You shrug.

“Sweetheart, I doubt those sins are enough. Hell is full of evil, and I promise they’ve done more than steal a pack of bubblegum,” He jokes.

You look at him offended, “Hey I’ve done stuff! And you’re a weird priest. Shouldn’t you be like ‘demon bad’ instead of indulging me?”

“Well you’re weird for admitting to a priest, but if you ever need an exorcist, you can always call me,” He smirks.

“Y’know, you look much cooler in this outfit,” she hums, admiring how handsome he looks in the typical black outfits priests wear with the white in the middle of his collar. “The robe thing you wore on Sunday made you look short.”

Hongjoong gives a playful glare at you. “Give me five Hail Marys and ten Our Fathers.”

———————————————————————

“Where did you go? Do you not realize how dangerous it is right now? Especially for a woman? Your father’s been throwing a fit, asking where you are.” Your mother drags you in and closes the door.

Despite it being modern times, your mother, along with other women in the town, played into this 1950s wife role. She wears a typical red plaid dress and despite being in the house all day, her hair is done along with wearing heavy makeup. Your mother prided in having red lipstick.

You recalled how comforting she was, humming as she cooked the meals. She never let you go to school without breakfast, saying how “It’s the most important meal of the day.” You’d force yourself to finish the whole plate then went to school despite your parent’s lack of dreams for you.

“I’m a grown adult and I have a scalpel. I’ll be fine,” You groan, tired of always hearing her lectures. “And I was at the church,” You add in hopes that it would shut her up. Satisfied, your mother let go of your arm and you went up the stairs to your room.

The room remained the same after all those years. There’s a desk in the corner and multiple bookshelves, from textbooks and just books of God. You weren’t allowed typical books such as Harry Potter as it apparently promoted witchcraft.

Your queen size bed is against the wall with your nightstand beside it. Across from your bed hangs a silver cross that somehow never rusted along those years. You also have drawers against the other side of the wall. It looks exactly the same way you left it.

You lay down on your bed. You’re tired. Tired of everything. The true punishment is being dragged back into this town. You hate it. It’s the literal epitome of hell. This holy town is hell. It’s embarrassing failing a suicide attempt. You had a letter and everything. It’s just pure humiliation when you’re brought back to the very town you tried to escape.

Thud!

You didn’t realize when you had fallen asleep but the loud sound immediately had you bolting up your bed. The sun has gone down. “Oh fuck!” You hiss, tapping your phone to check the time only to be blinded by it. Dark mode isn’t meant to blind people. It’s 2 am.

You reached over your bedside and turned the lamp on, being blinded once more, as your eyes strain to adjust to the light. When has the room gotten so cold? When your feet touch the floor, you almost didn’t want to stand up as it just felt too icy compared to your warm skin. Every step felt like pricks of ice.

It was the crucifix. The nail that had kept it up had rusted and weakened. You bend over to pick it up then walk back to your bed. The crucifix is placed on the nightstand. Now you can’t sleep. Isn’t this what happens at the start of every horror movie?

———————————————————————

“How unfortunate! Absolutely vile,” Your mother exclaims as she reads the newspaper. Who reads the newspaper these days? Your father answers with a grunt.

“Remember Betty? The sweet lady who taught Bible study back in the days? She had been murdered last night! That poor woman,” Your mother sighs, shaking her head then folding the newspaper.

“This is why you have to keep praying or else the devil will take you next,” Your mother lectures.

“That will be the day,” You groan, despising the sound of her squealing voice.

“That’s not how you talk in my house,” Your father yells.

“Then I’ll gladly see myself out,” You smile and get up from your seat, not wanting to finish your breakfast anymore. You hurriedly put your shoes on then ran out the door without lending an ear to the berating screams of your parents.

A walk. You needed a walk. You allowed your feet to take you wherever it wanted and suddenly you found yourself in the woods, where you used to run to, when you were younger. In the middle of the forest, there would be a huge tree, bigger than the rest. The forest seems to be circling it.

“What is a young lady like you doing here?” A woman asks, making your heart skip a beat. Her hair is gray and her skin is wrinkled. Her body is hunched over but despite all that, you can make out her beauty peeking through her age.

“Where did you come from?” You freak out.

“You know, this tree held special meaning,” She absolutely ignores your question.

“That’s nice,” You mumble, not really wanting to hear a history lesson.

“This was where the witches of the town were burnt. This area harbors a lot of pain and turmoil, begging to be avenged,” She smiles wistfully.

“Witches?” You perk up. That’s new. You know about witches after leaving the town. The topic always piqued your interest.

“Oh yes. Oakheart used to be a coven of witches, that is until the Evangelist came and forced us to turn to their God. Others who refused were burned here. My family were ones who played along with the Evangelist but we never forgot,” The woman tells her story.

“Interesting, so like we worshiped Satan?” You asked, not meaning to sound ignorant at all.

The woman chuckles but doesn’t take offense to your words. “The town worshiped more than just Satan. Lilith, Lucifer, The Princes of Hell, Hekate, Athena, Thor, Loki, and so many more deities. It was a coven where people worshiped who they wanted and nobody judged,” The lady explains. “It seems that a deity may have taken interest in you. You have to help them!”

“Huh?” You’re taken aback.

“Help them! Help them! You have to help them!” The woman starts screaming all of a sudden, grabbing onto your arms.

“What is wrong with you!” You wince, pulling away and running off, her screams becoming distant. You kept running and running, occasionally stumbling on rocks. “Stupid rocks,” you curse under your breath.

You didn’t know where you were going. It was all the same looking trees. When you started questioning your location, you eventually found a clearing.

“Thank god!” You let out a sigh of relief. Before you is the church. You never knew the forest was behind the church, only because the forest is so big.

“Y/N,” A voice suddenly makes you jump. “Are you okay? I didn’t mean to scare you like that.”

You clutch your chest to catch your breath. You look up and it’s none other than Pastor Hongjoong. “Yeah I’m fine. I’m fine,” You breathe heavily.

“What were you doing in there?” He looks at the vast forest.

“It’s my favorite place,” You manage to catch your breath.

“You need water?” He offers.

“Yes. Please.”

You follow Hongjoong into the church, going through hallways that the usual parishioners never go into. You could definitely get lost, the place looking like a maze. The walls are the same off-white with occasional paintings of either Mary or Jesus. The overall lighting is dingy and just shabby. There are a few lightbulbs that would blink on and off. It’s almost as if the church doesn’t have enough funding for a proper electrician. With the amount of donation they receive, they should.

“Y/N,” Hongjoong calls.

“Yes?” You turn 90 degrees to come face to face with the statue of Holy Mary.

“Over here,” He calls from the room right next to you.

“Coming,” You answer but you can’t seem to stop looking at the statue. Something feels off, and as you look closely, you realize why. It’s crying. You wipe the tears or water or whatever liquid it was on the statue's face before following Hongjoong in.

“Welcome to my office,” He smiles, handing you a water bottle and telling you to sit on the small couch. “I promise you it’s not usually this messy.”

You look around. His desk is clean however the counter next to his fridge is littered with empty bottles of water, food wrappings, containers, and many more. There are also crumbs of food in front of the fridge. Besides that, it’s pretty clean.

“Oh what’s with that box over there?” You ask curiously, looking at the box with crucifixes, statues, and holy books.

“Well you know how I just started here. I was going to put that around and decorate the place but I never had the chance. You’d never expect that priest could get so busy,” He chuckles. “So? How have you been?” He asks, leaning against his desk.

You shrug, “Same old. I really can’t handle my parents and I really hate this town. Maybe once I get myself sorted out, I’m going back to New York and invest in some therapy.”

“That would be good, but hey I don’t mind being your unofficial therapist,” He gives a lopsided smile.

“I need some professional help too, Pastor Hongjoong,” You chuckle.

“Hongjoong. Please just call me Hongjoong.”

“Got it.”

“So, from what I heard you are a neurosurgeon. A good one?” He asks.

“A very good one. I have very skilled hands,” You smirk, realizing how sexual it came out to be. Curse you and your dirty mind. You’re almost like a teenager, except you gained free access to the internet in your 20s.

“Oh really?” He raised a brow and crossed his arms in amusement.

“Yup. Many would personally ask for me since my hands work amazingly,” You play along. “But seriously I love my job a lot. I want to go back.” You sigh, feeling a sense of sadness. Your parents never really care how successful you are. You have a nice high rise apartment, your name is known, and yet not a single ounce of ‘I’m proud of you.’ “Anyways, what about you? What are you doing here in Oakheart? You could have gone anywhere else so why here- And be honest! I spilled my whole trauma to you!”

Hongjoong laughs, “Okay, okay. I was an exorcist. Well an exorcist in training. Not anymore!” He sighs, sitting next to you.

“What happened?”

“We had to exorcize a demon from a child. The poor child. He was a victim of child trafficking. Of course the Vatican had to determine if it was just mental health problems, but you can’t really blame mental health when the kid is literally flying. Well he was just too weak and well he died during the exorcism,” He rubs his face with his hands.

You put a hand on his back, offering him some sympathy.

“Well in a way I think the demon gave him the justice he deserved. The demon gave him the strength to, uh, to have the power to kill the people responsible for the crime ring. And I believe he never wanted to be saved. When the demon wasn’t speaking, he would beg to die, to give him the permission to commit suicide. I felt his pain. It was very painful,” His voice broke.

You rub circles on his back.

“So yeah, I was traumatized,” He chuckles. “Maybe I should also invest in therapy, too. The Vatican doesn’t really offer those. I know that demons are meant to be all bad but it angers me that the demon did what God couldn’t. Isn’t that weird? A priest questioning God?”

“Want me to be honest?” You ask in which you earn a nod. “That is so fucking weird.”

Hongjoong chuckles and shakes his head. “It’s kinda too late to change careers. I’m already a fucking priest, excuse my language. You need a degree for that. You need a degree to talk about God,” He laughs. “But I agree. This town sucks. I don’t blame you for wanting to leave.”

“Well now I feel guilty leaving you here,” You huff.

“You got space for me?” He jokes.

“Oh honey, I got plenty, and money ain’t a problem either,” You smirk.

“Oh, we’re skipping to pet names now, huh?” He teases.

“Oh I didn’t mean-“ Your cheeks flush pink.

“I'm just messing with you. It’s cute.”

“Omg stop flirting!” You whine.

“Sorry, baby,” He chuckles.

“I'm leaving,” You stand up.

“Oh, I’m sorry. . .” He looks at you guiltily.

“No no, you’re all good. I'm just playing with you. I just get flustered easily. You know, being raised like a holy child of Jesus and all.” You trail off, admiring his perfectly sculpted face.

Hongjoong stands up and takes heavy steps towards you until he’s towering over you. “Well aren’t you a bad girl, playing with a priest like that,” His voice low and seducing.

“I tend to play dangerously. It’s more thrilling that way,” She shrugs.

“You know, Jesus was quite the ladies man,” He hums, lips curling into a devious smirk.

“Where are you getting at?”

“It means,” He tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear then lifts your chin with his hand. “Even holy men can’t take their eyes off of pretty women, and I’m no exception. May I?” He asks your permission to kiss like a gentleman.

“Yes,” Your stomach flutters as your lips press against another. You kissed with need and desperation, pressing against him. You’ve kissed before. You’ve kissed many, but this kiss tastes sweet and satisfying, perhaps because of how wrong and sinful it is.

Your breathing is ragged as you part from him, yet it seems like depriving him of your kiss would kill him. He captures your lips once more, like a hungry predator, and as he does so, he steps back until he feels his heel backing into the sofa. He sits down, his lips staying on yours like a magnet, and you eagerly climb onto his lap. Your hands ran up his solid chest slowly before wrapping your arms around his neck.

Hongjoong’s burning from the sweltering heat, although unsure if it’s from the kiss or from the sin he’s about to commit. He now understands how Eve was so easy to convince.

“So pretty,” He mumbles as left warm kisses against your jaw and down your neck.

“Joong,” You whisper, tilting your head back. He hums and bit down the side of your neck, not too hard but just enough to leave a mark.

“You taste so good,” He practically moans, indulging in the taste of sin. You reek of sin and it’s all the more sweeter and fulfilling. Hongjoong’s drunk off of it as he’s grinding his hard cock up against your clothed pussy. He’s a desperate man. “You’re so good to me, Y/N,” He whines.

“Oh God, Joong!” You moan profanities.

“He’s not here, darling,” He chuckles. “Can I have you? Please, I need you.”

You nod, “Please Joong.”

He shifts you both so that you’re laying below him. “You look so pretty below me,” He says, admiring how vulnerable and hot you look underneath him. “Can I?” He asks, tugging at the hem of your shirt.

“Yes,” You answer. You wanted it. You want it this time.

You arch your back to help him pull your shirt over your head.

“Cute,” He chuckles, looking at your cute pink bra.

“Don’t judge me,” You huff.

“Not at all,” He smiles as he fumbles with the hooks of your bra to reveal your perfect tits. “Fuck,” He groans, feeling his cock constrict from his boxers. He kisses down your sternum as he squeezes your breasts. His fingers brush against your budding nipples.

“Hongjoong,” You hiss, needing to feel his touch.

He clicks his tongue and frowns in disapprovement. “Don’t rush a starving man.”

You complain, “And don’t tease me- fuck!” Your back arches up as his lips wrap around your bud. He is quick to shut you up with a harsh suck. “Hongjoong,” You gasp, tugging on his hair. Your eyes flutter close as you revel in the way his tongue circles your nipple.

It feels so good when suddenly it doesn't. You try to push away that foreboding feeling, images flashing through your mind. Why is it that whenever you start feeling so good, your mind seems to be punishing you. You open your eyes in hopes you don’t vividly see the scene in your head but right over Hongjoong’s shoulder is a cross nailed to the wall. That’s when it hits you that you’re about to fuck a man of God.

Honjoong notices how stiff you got so suddenly and looks up at you with worry. “Hey are you okay?” He asks, immediately getting off of you.

“Yeah, uh, it’s just, sorry,” You wince as you notice how you’re half naked. You immediately sat up, grabbed your bra, and put it on. “Sorry it’s just I suddenly remembered-“

“Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault,” He says, taking your shirt and putting it over your head. “If you’re uncomfortable with it, I’m not gonna force you.

“It’s just, I do want it. But that stupid man,” you kick the couch in frustration.

“No, I get it. Maybe it’s still too soon and you’re not ready for anything yet.”

“Thank you Hongjoong. Thanks for understanding,” You smile softly.

“No need to thank me. It’s the bare minimum.”

“I typically don’t try to fuck priests,” You crack a joke.

“Well I don’t typically try to fuck parishioners either,” He chuckles. “I get we just met but you’re a really sweet woman and I was hoping maybe I can get to know you more. Perhaps a date?”

“I would say yes Hongjoong but I don’t plan on staying in this town,” You say apologetically. “I might go insane here. Sorry, I just don’t want to get your hopes up,” You force a smile.

“I get it. This town is hell but at least indulge me?” He asks. “Just a date, nothing else.”

You sigh in defeat, falling into temptation so quickly. You do want this date. “Fine. Just one date.”

“Got it. I’ll make it worthwhile,” He smiles.

“Stop being so cute. It’s tempting me to go on more,” You joke.

He rolls his eyes, “I don’t know what you mean.”

You chuckle as you fiddle your fingers. “So uh, I think I should go home. It’s gonna get dark soon and I don’t want to be on the murder list.”

“Ah yes, do you need anything before you go?” He asks.

“No, I'm good.”

“Actually let me drive you home. It's dangerous walking alone and for my sake, I’d rather see with my own eyes that you get home safe.”

You wanted to refuse but he’s right. The murderer hasn’t been caught and there wouldn’t be a date at all if you were to be dead. “Fine.”

“Oh- and,” He shuffles through a box that’s placed in the corner of his office. He takes out a black shawl and wraps it around your neck to act as a scarf. “As much as I want you to show off my marks, I don’t think you’d want anyone to see that.”

“Oh my god you’re actually so sweet. Take me home already or I might cry. Wait a damn second, you can drive?!”

[bookshelf-dust]

pouring out the sun

billy hargrove x fem!reader

word count: 6,988

warnings: swearing, chubby!reader, reader deals with specific body insecurities, swimsuit wearing, brief mention of blood?, post-starcourt billy, slight sexual innuendos (let me know if i missed anything)

a/n: well, um, it’s been a little over a month since you got a fic from me. i took a break from writing, but my mental health only got worse, so clearly it didn’t work too well. this fic was meant to be a way for me to work through some things, so beware of that. i thought maybe someone else might need it too, or might even understand, in some way. i know i don’t usually do specifics regarding reader, but this is really for me. also, the title is a reference to the song of achilles, but it seemed fitting. i hope this turned out okay. i know it’s a lot, but it’s something. <33

————

The wall behind you is starting to make your back ache. The chill you’d felt through your shirt when you’d first situated yourself against it is long gone. You pull your knees up as close as you can get them and wrap your arms around your calves. 

Billy has pressed himself into the footboard of your bed. He’s staring at you and your obstinance makes you stare right back. He crosses his arms, and your gaze flickers to the way his biceps shift with the movement. He’d tease you if he weren't so determined to challenge your stubbornness with his own. 

“How long?” you question, pressing your cheek into the skin of your knee and letting your eyes flutter closed.

“A week. Maybe two,” he answers. 

You scoff and roll your neck so that your forehead can take the place of your cheek. “Oh, holy shit,” you say, voice muffled by your legs. “Yeah, that’s a no.”

Billy rolls his eyes, and even if you can’t see him, you can feel it. He runs a hand down his face. You have your moments, where you can be incredibly difficult, but this is something different. It’s almost like you’re frustrated in some way, and it frustrates Billy that he can’t pinpoint why. 

“You sound like Harrington.” He pushes off the bed and lands a playful slap to the side of your calf before walking out of the room, hoping a bit of pacing might help him figure out what to do.

Billy has wanted to go back to California since he got to Hawkins, though now he seems to be content with a simple vacation, rather than being in a rush to move back. When he brought it up again today, telling you firmly that he is going, you thought it sounded lovely. That it’d be good for him, that maybe he’d take Max and they’d do some family bonding or something. But that’s not what he’d said.

He wants you to go with him.

And you hate the beach. With a burning, fiery passion. 

Despite this, there’s a voice in the back of your head that tells you you’ll end up going anyway–just for him. But right now, the idea of going to California makes you nauseous. 

Sitting in a hot car for the length of that trip, sweating your ass off, baking in the sun, being trapped on the beach for hours? What’s so fun about all of that? And then there’s the matter of a swimsuit. Billy has certainly never seen you in one, and he definitely doesn’t know that you got rid of the ones that were once in your possession. 

He traipses back into the room, making you look up. It’s as if he’s somehow sensed that you were lost in thought, that you were being unkind to yourself. He doesn’t like it when you shit on his girl.

“Look,” Billy starts, leaning against the doorframe. “If you really don’t want to go, I’m not gonna force you or anything.”

He pauses, and you slide further down the wall until your back rests firmly against the mattress. You force yourself to make eye contact with him–only for a moment. 

“I just thought it might be nice to have you with me. I wanted to take you home.” His mouth tips up in a grin at that last bit. He’s guilt tripping you. 

“Goddamnit, William.” You slap your hands over your eyes, shielding yourself from him like he might up and turn you to stone. You’ve never fancied being a garden statue. 

“I just…I don’t know, Billy. There’s a lot for me to think about.” You pull your hands back and his face is inches from yours. It makes you jump, but makes his mouth twist into a Cheshire cat grin. Contrary to the way his boots usually announce his presence, he’s partial to moving like a cat when no one else is around. “Jesus.”

He presses his palms into the bed on either side of you and sits so that his thighs bracket your own. This way you can’t run when he asks you why you’re so insistent about not going to California with him.

“You mean there’s a lot for you to overthink about.” His hands find your sides, thumbs sweeping over the soft of your belly. Your mind jumps to the pudge you know lies underneath your shirt, the very thing that prevents you from wearing the teeny bikinis Heather Holloway runs around in. Right now you can’t bear to have him touch you, and you push his hands off. 

You give him an agitated look, and again that feeling, that he can’t quite pinpoint what’s going on, crawls up Billy’s abdomen and prods at his throat. “What? Like that’s not what you were doing when I came back in here?”

He goes to rest his hands on your thighs, the bare skin calling to him, skin he wants to grasp, knowing how pliant it will be, how it might move under his fingertips, but he stops himself. He thinks that you’ll just push him off again, so he settles for planting them back against the mattress, though close enough that he can feel the warmth of you–close enough that you’re still tangible.

You sigh. He mocks the sound, pitching his voice up just that little bit higher. You cover your face with your palms once more. 

“Look,” Billy starts, “I’ll take care of everything. There’s really nothing for you to worry about. You know I’ve been saving for this since I got here.”

You nod behind your hands, and Billy recognizes it as a gesture you make when you’re about to cry. He swears his heart drops out of his ass. 

“Hey, hey, hey–what’s going on in there?” He pulls at your wrists, a gentle grip, but more than enough to be firm. You let him move your hands away, and he sets them on your belly, but even that seems to be wrong. You’re quick to remove them, not being able to stand the squish of your own flesh. 

You aren’t crying, but your eyes are a little glassy. Billy thinks whatever tears might’ve been about to spill, you’ve willed away. You inhale.

“Billy, I can’t just go to the beach.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I don’t look like you.”

If you could manage to look at him, you’d see the way Billy’s brows meet, maybe even catch the way his breath hitches in his throat. He connects the dots, all at once. Suddenly he knows what you mean.

Last summer, when you were still just friends, you’d come and eat lunch with him on his break. But never once did you actually go swimming, always just taking off when he had to continue his shift. Billy had secretly hoped you’d stay and lounge, at least, during one of the many times you dropped Max or Dustin off. You never did. 

He’s not even sure he ever saw you in something other than jeans then. Hell, you’re wearing shorts right now, in the comfort of your own home, but you don’t ever leave the house in them. Why hadn’t he seen it before? Why hadn’t the thought at least occurred to him?

He thinks about all the times you avoid mirrors, or looking at other people. How you never want to go shopping, how all of your clothes are just that little bit too big. He realizes it’s serving you a purpose. You’re trying to hide–from Hawkins, from him, from yourself.

Billy feels like he’s been punched, or maybe like someone’s poured ice water down the back of his shirt. Still he teases. He needs to.

“Well, contrary to popular belief, I'm really not that into myself. So I’m actually pretty damn grateful that you don’t look like me.”

He tracks your shaky inhale. The teasing has failed him, and he doesn’t want to see you cry.

Billy moves off of your lap in hopes that it might help pull you out of your head for a moment. “You wanna talk to me?” he ventures. You sit up, nodding. The movement allows the tears you’d been holding back to slip free, gliding down the apples of your cheeks.

Billy’s thumbs are against your skin in a moment, wiping them away. “Yeah?” He reciprocates your nod, more reassuring, supportive, than mocking. Billy holds out his hand for you to take. You bring it into your lap, tracing the many creases on his palm. It gives you something steady to focus on, grounds you enough that you can concentrate on getting your words out. 

“I know it’s stupid,” you mumble, voice thick with emotion. Billy flicks his fingers upward to tickle your own, and it gets your lips to tick up just that little bit. 

“It’s not stupid,” he says, tone dead serious. “What’s that shit you always tell me?” He raises his other hand, waving it around. “This is a safe space to share your feelings.” He says the words playfully, as if it might pain him, though he’s just trying to help you like you do for him. Your heart warms at the effort.

“It’s my body, Billy. I can’t just go to the beach because the beach means a swimsuit, it means people seeing me in a swimsuit, you seeing me, but I can’t wear one, and I—” You pause, drawing in a breath. Your eyes squeeze shut for just a second, another tear falling down, but you catch it before he can.

“I hate my body, okay? And I love that you want to take me with you to California, really it means so much to me, but I-I know that means tagging along with you, being out in hot weather, and I’m just going to ruin it all for you looking like this. Really you should be taking someone else. Someone who can maybe put on clothes without sobbing.”

When you finish and look up at him, Billy looks heartbroken. It immediately makes you want to take it all back. You never meant to tell him any of this. 

“You sob when you have to get dressed?” he asks, almost tentatively. The way he says it tells you he’s not picking on you, but instead trying to understand. He’s picturing it, you struggling to simply get ready for the day, and it kills him. You shouldn’t have to feel that way.

“I have before, yeah. And Billy you’re hot. I know you know that. You should be with someone who’s equally as attractive. Not someone like me.”

You hiccup and release Billy’s hand. You start playing with a string on the hem of your worn-out shorts. Billy’s thumb finds your forearm, dragging up to press against the inside of your elbow. “Baby.”

You shake your head, forcing a sad smile to form on your face. “It’s alright. I told you it was silly.”

“Are you shitting me right now?” His grip tightens ever so slightly. He’s begging for you to listen to him without ever saying so. You meet his eyes, and he’s looking at you with so much concern, so much love, that you wish you hadn’t looked at all. This isn’t silly. Not to him.

“What is it about your body that you don’t like? Can you tell me that much?” 

More understanding. More compassion. You can’t take it.

You bite the inside of your lip so hard that you draw blood. You press your tongue against the spot, hoping it will stop. You’re getting angry with yourself. For making this situation about you, for telling him about your stupid feelings, for thinking that you could ever make this work when clearly you’re not meant to even be in a relationship, especially not with him, and definitely not when you look like this–

“Stop. Take a deep breath, and talk to me.” Billy’s tone is unyielding. You’re working this out right now, and he’s made that decision for you. He knows if you don’t, you’ll just shove it right back under the rug and keep fighting this internal battle with yourself all while he’s right here.

You do as he said, and start again. 

“I don’t like my tummy, or my hips, o-or my boobs. My arms are wrong too, and I’ve got all these rolls, and nothing is shaped right. I hate everything, and I can’t even look in the mirror anymore, and I want to go on this trip with you, really I do, but all of this is overwhelming me, and I-I’m just going to ruin it for you.”

“Look at me,” Billy says. You hadn’t even noticed you’d stopped, eyes glued to your bedsheets. You start crying again, warm tears spilling over your lashes. You can’t get them to stop, can’t get your thoughts to stop. It makes you want to press your hands to your ears, like that would help, but really it’s just you. You in your own head. 

Billy takes your face in his hands. “There is nothing wrong with your body. This is just your mind fuckin’ with you. I know that every part of you is perfect, just as it is, and you don’t have to look like anyone else to be good enough.”

You shake your head and grab hold of his wrists. “See, but you can’t really say that. You don’t actually know what my body looks like because I don’t have it in me to let you see it. I know that if you did, you’d be grossed out, Billy. There’s so much fat, and pudge, and I–”

“Why are you saying that like it’s a bad thing? Because it isn’t and I don’t wanna hear you say that again, you understand?” You sniffle. He takes that as a yes. 

“Baby, I know I haven’t seen shit. But I fucking swear that I’d be a goner for it. You think I mind having a little extra to squeeze on? ‘Cause I don’t.”

You’re trying so hard to believe him, but every cell, every nerve in your body is screaming in protest. He’s lying. He’s lying, he’s lying, he’s lying. But there’s a part of your brain that knows he isn’t. That he wouldn’t dare lie to you. 

“My body is…it’s disappointing.” You sit up on your knees and wipe your nose. “Because I-I know what the world wants me to look like, and I don’t look like that.” You squeeze your eyes shut, and more tears slip out. He can’t stand to see you like this, and it’s killing him to know that this is what you’ve been dealing with for who knows how long.

“It’s not fair,” you cry. “It’s not fair because I don’t get to walk around with this amazing body, the kind of body that men clearly want, and I think now I want it too. I sit in my room at night and I think about how I’d love myself more if I had a different body.”

Now that the floodgates have opened, you can’t force them closed. 

“Because I don’t have porn star tits, Billy. They’re sad looking, and they definitely don’t look like the chick’s on your bedroom wall, or the ones in your bedside drawer. 

He lets out a scoff of a laugh. It’s not malicious, not even at all. It’s simply due to the fact that your mind, and the world around you, has led you to hating the body you were given. He laughs because he agrees with you that it isn’t fair. It isn’t fair that you’re feeling like this. But he has to make sure you recognize that you can’t compare yourself to fucking models. 

“You know all of their tits are fake, right? Or strapped in somehow to get ‘em that high.”

You rub your nose, drag a hand down your throat. “Well, yeah but I’m sure there are lots of other women around here with better boobs than me. I know you like boobs, Billy. And mine are gross.”

“Yeah, that’s bullshit. They aren’t gross, and you shouldn’t talk about your girls like that.” He holds up a finger to prevent you from fussing about that comment. “I don’t care if they’re a little droopy or if they aren’t these round balloons, or if they aren’t porn star tits, or whatever it is about them you don’t like. And I know it’s only because you’ve been comparing your tits with some stranger’s, and that’s bullshit too.” You stare at Billy blankly, but he’s still not done. 

“I wouldn’t care about any of those things. Because they’re your boobies, and that makes them my favorites.”

“Please don’t say boobies, Billy.” He grins and leans in until his mouth hovers above the shell of your ear.

“And I always end up thinkin’ about you anyway.” Your face starts to burn and you fight the urge to abort right then and there. “Not even Elvira can keep me from thinking about you, baby.”

Your face is burning. “What is wrong with you?”

“Oh, there’s a lot wrong with me,” he says, rubbing his nose against yours. “But there’s not a damn thing wrong with your body, and I’m gonna be right here until you think the same.” He gives you one chaste kiss and pulls back. 

“But Billy, my ass is–”

“Amazing? I’ve seen it in those jeans you wear all the time. Shit is mind boggling, baby.”

“Jesus fucking christ.”

His giggles taper out, and then he’s looking at you all gently again, like you’re the most precious thing in the entire goddamn universe. “You gotta quit comparing yourself to other people, okay? Doesn’t do you any good, and I know that. This is the only body you’re gonna get, and you deserve to love on it a little.” 

You run your hands down your face. “I just wish I believed that.”

Billy leans down and smacks a kiss to your knee. 

“Hate seein’ you like this, you know? You’re the prettiest fucking thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. The way you’re told you should look? It’s all idealized and stereotypical bullshit, and it isn’t fair for you to look at yourself and pick every little thing apart because it doesn’t look like some chick in a porno mag or a comic book drawn by some horny, middle-aged man.” 

He’s fired up now, genuinely hurting for you, and he’s talking with his hands. That gets you every time. 

You might be snotty, your cheeks might feel tight from where the tears have dried, but seeing him be so passionate about making you feel better gets a little grin out of you. 

Billy catches it, that itty bitty quirk of your lips, and he moves in until his face is inches from yours. It’s supposed to be intimidating. 

“The fuck are you grinning about?”

Your grin turns into a full, teary smile. 

“You expecting a kiss or something?” he teases, thumb dragging over your lashes, separating them where they’d clumped together with moisture. 

“I was gonna give you one, actually.” Your eyes start to prickle again. “Because I don’t deserve you—”

Billy covers your mouth with his hand. “Listen, if there’s anyone who doesn’t deserve someone, it’s me—”

You do the same to him in an instant, only he smacks his lips against your palm, winking just for good measure. You roll your eyes.

Both of you remove your hands at the same time, and then you really do kiss him. A sweet press of your mouth that tells him…everything. 

You pull away, and he’s still looking at you like you hung the fucking stars.

“I’m sorry for keeping all of this in, Billy. It’s so suffocating sometimes, and I get so angry with myself for looking like this. I just imagine that I’d be so much happier with someone else’s body.”

“But if you had someone else’s body, you wouldn’t be you anymore. You wouldn’t be my girl.” 

You nod, trying not to let the voices win. Trying not to think about how you look in the mirror versus how you wish you looked. How if you had different features it might be better. 

“Just can’t help thinkin’ you should be with someone that looks nicer than I do.” 

“But I want you, okay? I love you exactly the way that you are.”

“Okay,” you respond, voice shaky. 

“Can I hug you?” Billy asks.

“Yeah. Yeah.”

Billy pulls you into his arms, squeezing you tightly against him. He has this way of getting you out of your head, of making you feel like the two of you are all that matter.

You’ve both risen up onto your knees, the mattress dipping around you. Billy’s hands are rubbing all over your back. 

He leans his head back a little, making sure he catches your attention before he dips his chin down to gesture at where the both of your chests meet. 

“They don’t feel gross to me.”

You heave a sigh, pulling away from him completely, and trying to ignore how proud he looks of himself.

“We’re gonna keep workin’ on this, alright? I’m not letting you hate on yourself so much anymore.”

“Yes, sir.” 

Billy rolls his eyes, but you give him a hopeful, yet sad, smile, all the confirmation he’s looking for. That you’ll try. 

“So what else about the beach is it that you’re worried about? I’ll buy you a fucking umbrella, I swear. And if you go, I’ll let you drive.”

Your eyes widen, and Billy knows he’s just won you over. He knows that you have a soft spot for his car, and he’ll do anything to keep you happy.

————

“You aren’t upset that you’re not going?”

“No, not really. I mean, I like it there, but I’ve never had the same attachment to it as Billy has.”

Max slings another swimsuit over her arm. You decided that you really wanted to try and find one you might be comfortable in. Billy said you didn’t have to swim, even if he didn’t want you to overheat, but you’re determined to find something. And Max had happily offered to help you while Billy worked on finding you both a place to stay.

Every once in a while, Max will hold one up to you, as if contemplating the color, and then decide she wants you to try it on without asking, knowing you’ll argue with her.

“Do you miss it?” 

She shrugs her shoulders, nodding towards the dressing rooms and leading the way. She’s holding substantially more swimsuits than you are, and you know you’ll be trying on every single one.

“Sometimes? I miss my family. And I think even for Billy it’s mostly about his mom. California was the last place he was sort of…happy. But I like Hawkins, you know? And even if he likes it better now too, I’ve never been as determined to go back as he is.”

You pause outside the dressing room, clutching the slippery fabric harder than necessary. “I understand. Anything you want me to bring back for you?” 

Max opens the door for you and starts hanging up suits on the hooks provided. She grins. “I’ll never say no to a prize. Now stop stalling, and get in here.” 

You do as she says, and make her choose which one to try first, just to make it easier on yourself. 

Max closes her eyes while you change, but when she hears the shuffling stop and a sniffling replaces it, she moves her hands. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” She stands up next to you.

You’re crying, but you’re trying so, so hard not to let the tears slip out. “I’m sorry,” you say, pressing the heels of your hands against your eyes. “I just haven’t seen my body like this in a long time, and I feel like I look so ugly.” 

She grabs your wrists and gently pulls them away from your face. 

“You don’t look ugly. You look great.” 

Max turns you so that you’re facing the mirror again. Your hands fly to your stomach, and you start to poke at it. She watches you pull at the skin of your hips, trying to see what it’d look like if there was less of it. 

“Don’t do that,” she scolds you. You let your hands fall to your sides, and she catches the stray tear before it can slide down your cheek. She’s being much too nice to you. 

“You don’t think that’s gross?” you question, criticizing your body in the mirror, comparing it to the stockpile of other bodies you’ve got in your brain. 

Max puts her hands on her hips. “No, I don’t think it’s gross. I think you look hot.”

You scoff, pulling at one of the straps. It’s a one- piece, in a color you really like, because you’re too scared to show your tummy right now. There’s a voice in the back of your head that says it looks just fine, but you ignore it. 

“You can’t really think that, Max.”

“Oh, but I can, and I do. So, you’re just gonna have to live with that. And Billy told me about your problems with your body—he’s got a big mouth, you know that? But I wanted to tell you that my hips look like that too. It’s normal.” 

She’s standing like Steve, determined to have you believe her. Determined to be there for you. 

“I think you should get this one,” she continues. “I know you like it.”

“I don’t know, Max.”

“Then try on a few more, okay? Don’t let your thoughts stop you from picking out something you like. As long as it’s comfortable, that’s all that matters. You have a great body, and you deserve to go to the beach with your boyfriend and wear a swimsuit.”

She flops down on the bench, an encouraging smile gracing her face when she reaches up and shoves another bathing suit into your hands. 

Max Mayfield is very convincing when she wants to be. Not only do you keep the tears at bay for the rest of the trip, you also end up getting the first one, as well as one she slipped in your basket at the last second because it “Looked too kickass not to buy.”

————

“You make a very pretty passenger princess, you know.”

Billy rolls his eyes, and even if you can’t exactly see the gesture with your own glued to the road, you feel the disturbance. He smacks his hand against your bare thigh and leaves it there, even if it is too hot for skin-to-skin contact. You know if it weren’t for the air conditioning blasting your face, you might’ve shoved him out of the car. 

“Turn up here, you little shit.”

You’ve made it off of all the main roads, now driving through beach town after beach town. Billy can’t even complain about your driving because well…you’re a good driver. He watches you eye the swankier resorts, the ones with pools and valet parking. He hopes you’ll be happy with the little house he found. It’s not too far from where he grew up, and he’d been pleased about being somewhat familiar with the area. 

The sound of gravel under the tires makes you feel safe. Billy directs you towards your destination, and when you park the car, you feel like you might cry. 

The house is small, sure, but it’s welcoming. The neighborhood isn’t suffocatingly full, either. Sure, there are other homes, some larger than others with their big balconies and wrap-around porches, but it feels…nice. 

You turn off the engine and get out. Billy walks around the other side of the car and wraps his arms around your waist. “You wanna go look around? I’ll come back and get our shit in a minute.”

You spin around and smack a kiss to his forehead. If his cheeks weren’t already red from the heat, he knows they would be simply from your affection. You nod, and Billy takes your hand, leading up the little set of stairs to the door. 

He bends over. “The lady on the phone said the key was under the mat.” He comes back up with the metal in hand. 

“The lady on the phone?” you wonder. 

Billy pushes the door open. “Yeah, it’s like an old ass couple renting this place out. She practically told me her whole life story the other day.” You grin and hook your fingers in his belt loops, letting him pull you around inside the house. 

It really is cozy. One bedroom, two and a half bathrooms. Comfy little barstools and a sweet couch. The part you’re really excited about is the porch. Excited enough that you separate from Billy and pull the sliding glass doors open to step outside. 

You can see the beach. It might take a little bit to walk down there, but you can see it. Which means you can watch the sunset. 

“You like it?” Billy leans against the doorframe behind you. You can hear the smile in his voice. 

“I really do.”

He pulls you in for a kiss then, lips warm and a little chapped against yours. 

“So, I have this plan.” You raise an eyebrow, clearly a little frightened by that idea. He grins, and kisses you again, trying to shut you up, you know. “There’s a board shop not far from here that closes in…” He pauses, looking at his watch. “An hour and a half. I was gonna rent one so that I can surf tomorrow. Do you wanna go with me or stay here?”

You look over at the bench tucked into the corner of the porch. The cushion looks very comfortable, and you did bring a book. He knows what you’re doing to say before you even say it. 

“I think I’ll stay here.”

“That’s cool, baby. I can pick up dinner?” He squeezes at your hips. 

“That would be nice.”

You reach around and slip your hands into his back pockets. He won’t say it, but you seem a little lighter now that you’re here. Like you aren’t so panicked about the prospect of vacation, but rather content to be there with him. It’s as if you know he’s going to take real good care of you–which he is. 

“That way you can explore, right?” he teases. You’re like a cat that way. You have to check everything out first before you really settle down. 

“Right.” You press a kiss to the tip of his nose, and he pats around on your ass, looking for his keys. When he secures them, he gives it a firm smack, just while he can get away with it, and then he’s moving away from you. 

But he’s right. You do feel a little more content. Maybe even comfortable.

————

“Be fucking still, William.”

“It’s cold,” he bites back. 

You’re rubbing sunscreen all over his back, and even if you’ve already covered the rest of him in it, and helped him tie his hair up into a sweet little bun, he’s destined to be the whiniest man in all of existence. You know for a fact that it isn’t that cold, considering he’d put it on you minutes before. 

“There.” You push your hand into the skin of his neck, making sure you’ve got every spot. You refuse to listen to him fuss about a sunburn. “I’m all done.”

 Billy turns around to face you, placing his sunglasses up on the top of his head. “Ready to get going then?”

“If by ready to watch you eat shit, then yes.”

Billy aligns his face with yours, locking eyes and everything. “I’m not gonna eat shit.”

“Eh,” you shrug, slinging your bag over your shoulder. “I bet you will.”

He kisses your shoulder over the t-shirt you’re wearing. He still hasn’t seen the swimsuit you’ve put on, and you’re trying to postpone it for as long as possible. It’s a miracle you didn’t cry getting it on, but you tried to remember what Max had said, how sweet Billy had been when you’d come clean about your insecurities. It is comfortable, at least. You just feel all sorts of wrong wearing it. But you can’t let that ruin this whole trip. It’s not worth it. 

“Come on, grumpy pants. Get a move on.”

When you finally make it to the beach, you’re so hot and sticky you could beat the shit out of him right then and there. There’s no way this is actually enjoyable for people. Definitely not in this heat. 

Billy has left to retrieve an umbrella and a chair for you, insisting he can just sit on a towel. By the time he gets back, you’re full on pouting. It makes him laugh. You cross your arms and watch him work the umbrella into the sand. 

He finishes and reaches a hand out to pull you up from where you’d plopped on top of the towel bag. “It’s so hot,” you whine, faking tears. 

He just keeps laughing. “I know. That’s why you’re gonna come in the water with me, and then you’ll cool off and you can come sit here and watch me eat shit.”

He pulls his shirt off over his head. Your eyes wander all over his torso, soaking in every inch of skin, every freckle and scar. “I thought you weren’t gonna eat shit,” you argue, leaning in to kiss the raised patch on his chest. 

You wish you could be as confident about your body as he is sometimes. Things got really hard for Billy after Starcourt, but at some point something just snapped, and he decided he should show off the messy scars. He takes care of them as best as he can, much better care than he ever thought he would, and they are looking better.

You even wish that you could love on your own the way you do his. But that’s just not the case. 

“Yeah, well I probably will eat shit, so.” He gestures towards your shirt. “You gonna swim in that?” His eyes drop to your bare thighs. No one should be allowed to look that sweet.

“Um…no.” You tentatively grab the hem of your shirt and pull it off quickly, trying to rip off the bandaid. When you’re done, Billy has to remember to keep his mouth closed, his jaw having legitimately dropped. 

“Holy shit. This is the body you’ve been so mean to?”

“If you don’t stop, I’m gonna put the shirt back on.” 

He steps closer to you. He’s gawking. “No! Please don’t. You look hot, baby.”

You’re not sure anyone has ever called you hot before. Certainly not whilst in an item of clothing that doesn’t leave much to the imagination, even if you are pretty damn covered. It’s a little bit higher cut on the sides than you’re used to, but it holds everything in well. You feel exposed. If you think about it for too long you’ll probably just throw up. 

You put your hands over your belly and tilt your head, smushing your cheek into your shoulder. “Billy,” you fuss. 

He removes your hands and instead takes them in him, pulling you down the beach with him. When you get to the water, Billy watches you wade out until it’s knee deep, trying to keep his eyes away from your ass. 

He thinks you look fucking radiant like this. And he’s never actually even said that word. You’re looking down, probably for sand dollars or little fish. Billy takes this opportunity to look at your body. Not in a judgemental way by any means, but simply because he’s never gotten to see it like this. You’re being vulnerable with him, and that means more than anything else could. 

Billy wades out a little further than you and disappears beneath the waves for just a moment. When he emerges you think this is what people must have thought about Achilles. He is breathtakingly gorgeous, and it simply isn’t fair. You can’t believe that you have him. 

Billy walks you back to your umbrella and gets you nice and shielded from the sun before he heads back out to attempt surfing. He might’ve been messing with you, but it has been a few years, and he really might get his ass handed to him by the ocean. 

You’re eating a popsicle when he finally catches a wave, after having tried and failed for a little while. It’s impressive to see him up there like that, especially when you can’t even comprehend how he does it. 

You might hate the heat, and you might hate the fact that there’s sand up your ass, but you think you could sit here and watch Billy surf for hours with no complaint. It’s like he’s in his element, way more than when he played basketball. You can tell that he knows what he’s doing, that he sort of listens to the water and obeys. 

You allow yourself to imagine a future like this. One where maybe you can come back during the summers, just the two of you or maybe with Max and a friend of hers. You could never give up snow, so it couldn’t be permanent, but you could do it for Billy.

You could do anything if it meant getting to see him so happy. If it meant getting to feel so loved and so safe. It is your greatest honor to be loved by Billy Hargrove, a boy that everyone thought was incapable of loving. 

————

“Motherfucker.”

Billy’s voice echoes in the bathroom, reaching you where you lay in the bed. You can’t see him from where you are. 

It’s been a few days, and it’s gotten easier to put on that swimsuit. To look at yourself in the mirror. You’ve done a lot of thinking, a lot of listening. You might even say you’ve learned from Billy during this trip. Not that you’d boost his ego by telling him so.  

He rushes out of the bathroom and flops down in front of you, holding his hand aloft.  “Baby, I need help. I got a splinter from your goddamn umbrella. I can’t get it out.”

“What do you say, Hargrove?” You sit up, taking the tweezers from him with an evil grin on your face. 

“Pretty please?”

“That’s it.”

The second you get your eyes on the splinter, you know he just wanted attention from you. It’s big, and he could’ve just pulled it out with his fingernails. But you’re touched he wanted your help. That says a lot more than he probably realizes. 

You grip the edge of the teeny wood piece and gently pull it out from under his skin. You place it in the palm of his hand. “Ta-da.”

He snorts, and you kiss the tip of his finger. “All better now?”

“Yep.”

He slips into bed with you soon after, and you can’t help but sit up on your knees, just so you can get a good look at him. 

The freckles under his eyes have become loads more prominent, and they spread over his shoulders and collarbones like someone’s dumped glitter all over him. 

He lets you look at him, too, just admiring you in the moment. You look sleepy, beat from being out all day, from driving around to see where Billy grew up, but he thinks you’ve never looked prettier. He tells you so and you use his hand to shield your face. 

It makes Billy laugh, and he pushes your head gently, knowing you’ll go all dramatic and fall back, and when you do you end up in his lap. 

You curl up like a cat, wrapping your arms around him so you can rest your head on his tummy and splay your fingers out over his warm back. You change positions quickly though, propping your chin up with your hands. 

“Thank you for coming with me,” Billy says, swiping a thumb over the apple of your cheek. It’s a light enough touch that it tickles.

“Don’t have to thank me. I wanted to.”

He exhales. “I know, but I also know it’s been hard for you, being in your head all the time.”

“It’s okay. You’re helping.”

He smirks. “Oh yeah?”

“Mhm.” You scoot up and tuck yourself into his side. You might not even need a blanket with all the heat he radiates. “Much too good to me,” you mutter, kissing his chest. 

“You deserve it.”

He feels you grin against his skin, bashful as ever no matter how long you’ve known each other. 

Billy moves onto his side and entangles himself with you, holding you tight to his chest. 

You reciprocate the hold, squeezing a little to tell him you love him. “Thank you for bringing me home. I can see how happy you are here.”

“I’d be happy anywhere as long as you were there too.”

You snort. “That’s so cheesy.”

“It’s true, though.” 

“I know it is.” You’re silent for a minute before you remember. “We gotta get Max a prize before we leave.”

“Oh yeah, bring the little shit a gift.”

“She deserves a prize for having helped me pick out a bathing suit.”

Billy contemplates your statement. “Hm. Yeah, that works. So what do I get then, huh?”

“My eternal love.”

“Oh. I was hoping you’d like, take me to dinner or something.”

“Talk about being a little shit,” you mumble, sleep taking over. For the first time, you aren’t worried about going to the beach tomorrow. You aren’t worried about what squish Billy might be able to feel, holding you like this. You feel comfortable. Maybe you’re not completely in love with yourself, but with Billy around, you might get there one day. For now, that’s enough. It’s more than enough. 

“Eternal love it is then.”

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

[ily-fictional-women]

Bloody but Beautiful

Summary: The night can bring in many dangers, many monsters, and many realizations. 

Pairing: vampire!Kate Bishop x fem!reader

Warnings: Talks of blood, minor implications of abuse, and a small dash of spice

Word count: 1448

a/n: Been gone for a long time lol. Was at a mental health low, got good, had my birthday, and got broken up with. Anyways, I’ve been obsessed with Interview with a Vampire so ya’ll are getting a vampire au! (Reblogs are welcome and critiques/advice are heavily encouraged, but please no translating.) 

Kate stands at the top of the rooftop listening for any type of commotion. But the thumping hearts coursing with rich red blood are too distracting. It’s been over a month since she treated herself to any good blood. Animal blood works. But it can only keep the urges down for so long. Tonight is the night, she's sure of it. 

Or, that is until she smells a familiar scent. “What are you doing here Y/n?” Y/n lets out a dramatic groan before laughing a little, “I swear Kate, I’m gonna be able to jumpscare you eventually.” Kate keeps her view on the city, “You are welcome to try. Again though, why are you here Y/n?” 

Y/n moves closer to Kate, wrapping her arms around her neck from behind and resting her chin on her shoulder, “Before Clint left he emphasized it was good to not go on patrol by yourself. And you weren’t at your apartment.” She’s too close Kate thinks to herself. 

It’d be so easy to do a quick turn and take a drink from her pretty neck. But her phone buzzes with a police alert before she can give too much thought to the idea of draining one of her closest friends. Y/n moves her gaze to Kate’s phone, “What is it?” 

“Hostage situation not too far from here, the tracksuit mafia is holding a few girls. Did you bring your knives?” Y/n lets go of Kate quickly flashing one of her many daggers with a grin, “Did you bring enough arrows?” Kate rolls her eyes at the tease, “Always.” 

//

Y/n takes out an electric arrow drawing it back and releasing it to take one of the guards at the front entrance. “That should be the last one on the outside, you ready to go in?” Y/n gives her an affirming nod. Kate takes another arrow shooting it to create a zip-line. 

Making it across the way the two observe the scene through the glass rooftop. If it weren’t for Y/n being here this could be quick for Kate. She could use her strength to easily knock out all the men. Then used her speed to bring the girls to safety, leaving her enough time to drain at least three of the men and dispose of the bodies before any police would find the girls safe. 

But, she also does love a challenge. “Looks like there’s about seven of them on the inside, three with guns all aimed at the girls. Four with bats or crowbars. How do you want to do this Kate?” 

“I’ll use a few of my smoke arrows giving us enough time to get in. You take out the ones without guns with your knives, I’ll use my arrows to get the ones with guns. But I’ll need you to get the girls out of there before I tie them up just in case one of them gets up. Just in case any backup arrives.” 

Y/n looks at Kate with slight concern, “Are you sure you can handle them all?” Kate grins assuringly, “I’ll be fine, are you ready?” With Y/n nodding Kate breaks the glass of the rooftop the sound already triggering the tracksuit mafia to look up. Quickly shooting a few smoke arrows though and their vision is compromised. 

Y/n drops down first based on the memory of where each man was she throws her first knife in the direction of a man with a crown bar. Hearing a loud yelp once the knife made contact she ran in the direction being able to see him from behind she put him in a chokehold long enough for him to pass out. 

With Y/n now occupied Kate aims from the rooftop as the smoke starts to clear. Before the men can start shooting she draws her arrow making sure to not aim at any lethal areas for the men. She shoots two in the shoulder with tranquilizer arrows. Then the last in the foot with a glue trap arrow. Using another arrow to knock the gun out of his hand. 

As the smoke fully clears Y/n looks up at Kate as she begins to untie the girls, “Everyone’s out like a little kid. You can come down.” Making her way down Kate gives Y/n a serious look as she unties the last girl, “You should go right now. They probably already called for backup. Get them as far away as possible, okay?” 

Y/n hesitates for a moment, “Fine.” As she leaves with the girls Kate knocks out the man she stuck with the glue trap. Beginning to pile them up so it would be easier to tie them together Kate pulls out a knife from one of the men Y/n took down licking the blood clean off of it. 

The rich taste was definitely something incomparable to animal blood. She can feel her fangs start to slip out, but she manages to control herself tying up the rest. Making her way outside she hears some yelling in a nearby alleyway. Taking a quick peek she sees a man yelling at a woman. Then he slaps her.

Wasting no time Kate uses her speed to take the woman a few blocks away noticing bruises all over her. Some old. Some new. Making her way back to the man before he could even notice the woman was gone she used her strength to toss him so hard into a nearby dumpster it leaves a dent in it.

She picks the man up by the jaw lifting him to his feet. He groans in pain, “What the fuck are you.” Kate slams him down on the ground, “Someone just trying to good. You on the other hand. You’re a monster.” She draws out her fangs, “I don’t like monsters.” Lifting him up again she sinks her teeth into his neck sucking out his blood, draining him dry. 

As she drops the man feeling satisfied she looks up to see Y/n her mouth agape. Panic immediately rises in Kate, “Y/n I- I can explain. Just don’t-” Y/n cuts her off. “You’re beautiful.” Y/n looks at Kate admiringly. Covered in blood, the moonlight giving it a slight shine. Y/n repeats again moving closer to Kate resting a hand on her bloodied cheek, “You are beautiful.”

Kate leans into Y/n’s touch, “You’re not scared?” Y/n leans closer to Kate her lips only a breath away from hers. “How could I be afraid of a beauty like yours?” Kate closes the space between them the kiss slick with blood. As things became more heated Kate pulls away looking at Y/n, her lips now tinted with red. 

“So you knew? And you don’t care?” Y/n wraps her arms around Kate once more, “No I don’t care, and I assumed you were either a vampire or a narcoleptic recluse with a hobby of archery.” 

Kate giggles kissing Y/n again, pulling away for a breath Y/n smiles. “How about we clean this up,” she gestures to the man on the ground, “then you take me back to your apartment.” 

“Deal.” 

//

Tossing their gear on the floor not wasting any time getting into the apartment Kate pushes Y/n against the entrance door kissing her like she needed it live. As Y/n’s hands move to grip at Kate’s waist Kate's hands wander up to the zipper of Y/n’s jumpsuit. 

Tying the top half around her waist her sports bra exposed, but more importantly, her neck exposed. Y/n pushed Kate away for a moment, guiding her to sit down on the couch. As Kate sits she watches as Y/n takes a seat on her lap. She rests her hand on Kate's cheek again lightly brushing her thumb.

“You can take a small drink, if you want.” Kate squits her eyes for a second, “You trust me enough for that?” Y/n nods and Kate begins kissing her again. But slower this time, as her hands move across Y/n’s body she moves her lip’s attention from Y/n’s lips to her cheek, then her jaw, but as she reaches her neck she pauses. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes, I’m sure.” At the confirmation, Y/n can feel Kate’s fangs slowly enter her neck. The feeling causes a sense of excitement to swell inside her. This blood was different for Kate though, it was so much better. Blood always tasted good, but blood with lust– no. Love, rushing through it. It’s a rich delicacy. A delicacy Kate could get used to. 

[cookie-crumblr]

F!Reader x Therapist Yan OC Sheila~

Tigers in the Garden🐅✨

Her Info: 📋❤️‍🔥

Was a Drabble i swear… Part 1~

Next Part—>

!MINORS DNI!

CW: F!Reader, Reader has a vagina, reader referred to as she/her, use of strap on reader, fxf, strap in readers v, reader SH(Before it starts, not described, just mentioned and implied in convo), sub and slightly bratty reader, reader is a stoner, reader wears makeup, imbalanced power, DUB-CON(coercion and blackmail), reader has hair(not described), nipple play(a little), choking, not proofread, rough sex, rough with reader in general, spanking, lemme no if i missed any! :3 names for reader(brat, slut, whore),smut with barely any plot in this part, power imbalance

“Okay,” You shrug. “Whatever, i guess” The ‘good’ people in white coats guide you down a sea-green, sterile-smelling corridor.

Youre finally being let out of your mandatory three day stay at a mental health facility(more like prison). They’re letting you out on the condition you see the therapist they’ve set you up with.

Sheila Reichsgraf.

You’ve got nothing but the clothes you came in with in a plastic baggie with your phone, wallet, and keys. They gave you clothes that don’t quite fit or look good on you, and a piece of paper saying where you are to go tomorrow. For tonight? some well earned weed and munchies to go with. Maybe some masturbating too, you’ll see where the night takes you.

Now sitting in front of this woman(more like tigress), you slouch down into your seat. Her gaze is unreadable but scrutinizing.

“I’ve, of course, been informed of your admittance to Fir’s Rest. Would you like to talk about it?” She asks, while typing on her computer.

“Nope.” You sag further into the black velvet chaise lounge.

“I’d like you to talk about it.” She slides her keyboard out of her way, and folds her hands in front of herself.

“I’d like you to kindly shut it about that actually.” You snap.

“Take off your clothes.” Her voice is stern, but no louder than before.

“Ex-fucking-Scuse you!?” you exclaim, what the fuck is she on!? like sure you think she’s way too hot for this plane of existence but like ???

“Take off your clothes.” she interrupts your thoughts, repeating the same thing over again in the same tone. “Unless…” She continues before you can pipe back, “You’d rather go back to the facility.” she takes something out of a black leather padfolio before closing it, and sighing heavily.

You roll your eyes. “What, so you’re like, coercing me now? what’s next ?? threaten to tell my mother?” that would be terrible cause after all you’ve been through for that woman you at the very least want your share of the inheritance.

“Exactly that, darling~” As she walks toward you, you watch her in shock, or disbelief. She extends perfectly manicured, dark skin hands toward you, with a fan of polaroid photos of you in a mental hospital, butt hanging out of your polka dot gown, grippy socks and a trailing IV and all.

“Are you fucking serious right now? You’re sick! You’re a lunatic! If you even think that i’ll—” your voice is completely halted when she roughly grabs you by the cheeks and squeezes your lips into a fish mouth. You scowl up at her deeply. You think about spitting on her, but think better of it. thankfully.

“Listen to you, a brat like you needs to be put in her place.” A smile spreads across her cheeks, dimples pop out near the angled tips of it going into her cheeks.

She really is hot.

You swallow.

She roughly lets go of your face as you pull away. your hair muses and gets in your eyes but you don’t blink and lose eye contact for a second.

Sheila grips your arms to pull you up out of your chair, and throws you hands first into her desk.

Stunned by how fast this all happened, you remain there long enough for her to wrap herself around you.

You let out a cute little whimper as she pinches your nipple through the fabric. You weren’t expecting it, and the shock that got sent directly to your clit.

“Such a good whore under there, already whimpering for me~?” You hear the smile in her voice, as her head buries into the crook of your neck. It tickles and you jump, your ass slamming back into her body. she clings onto you tighter, to hold you still. Somehow you feel like she completely envelops you.

Your core is already hot as she quickly and roughly removes your clothes, feeling up your skin and grabbing everywhere she can as soon as it’s bare. From your hips, to your belly, down and even back up to your ribs, down your arms. Everywhere on you that enters the light, she roams. Her mouth isn’t far behind, kissing and biting you, devouring you fully.

Sheila spreads your legs, one at a time, and puts your hands back on her desk so that your leaning forward. You’re too out of breath and dumb right now to even think of moving. Your back is arched and your ass wiggles slightly on its own, beckoning her and her throbbing clit. She’s equally out of breath, dripping just like you are, her heels click on the wood as she removes her clothes, staring at your swaying backside all the while.

“You’re going to take all of this, aren’t you slut?” Her big beautiful strap on flings out to attention. Your head falls to one shoulder so that you can glimpse it… You swallow harder than before, your brows peaking as you start to imagine the stretch around that thing. You nod.

You don’t have to imagine for long before she’s grabbing your neck to pull your body up against hers. Hard nipples poke your back and you shiver. Delicious, you want those in your mouth, don’t you? “I won’t go easy.” She coos menacingly, and squeezes your throat gently until you see stars.

She rubs her cock against your entrance, prodding, and poking, slowly diving into your needy, wet hole. You’re already stretching around just her head and feeling so good at the same time, whining and whimpering until, she plunges it inside you. All at once and you bite your lip, unable to breathe anymore.

“FUCK!” You puff out the last of your air with one word.

“Soon you’ll be screaming Doctor…” She whispers into your ear before pulling away as far back as her arm will allow, so that she has a better vantage point. Watching your ass as she pulls her strap out, that looks like it’s as far in as your tail bone or further, her clit sends ripples of pleasure throughout her body.

She licks her lips and slams into you this time. She’ll have to savor watching it slowly get swallowed up by your tight pussy later. This time she pulls out faster and pushes back in just as fast. She sets a pace that’s both brutal and blissful to you, as the pain lessens the pleasure grows, and it grows exponentially.

Her nails dig into your throat and her other comes around to tweak your clit, it makes you start to shake and twitch, your arms wobble trying to keep you upright.. Her own orgasm building as the strap rubs her back with every thrust, she moans behind you, you tighten around her, and open yourself up more to take her better.

“D-Doctor!” You practically beg, not knowing what for; more, less, faster, slower! But she was right, and you yell, “Doctor!!” again. She gets faster and faster, your butt is hot from the force of her slamming into you. the slapping of skin against wet skin, combined with stuffed groans and more hoarse “Doctor”’s fill the office.

Blackened tears streak down your face as you cum around her cock you shake and convulse barley able to hold yourself up against the low desk, even with the help of her hand still wrapped around your throat. She keeps pounding you. Ruthlessly. Through your orgasm and straight into your crashing next two. “Who would have thought you’d be such a good girl under that attitude.”

Suddenly she pushes in deeper than ever before, stealing even more air from the depths of your soul. You swear you can feel her hitting there too. “Take all of me,” her hand runs down your hair and back. Then she slowly pulls out, letting you really feel the thick vein that twists around her length. You shudder around her, and whimpers keep falling freely from your open, puffy lips, you’re spent.

She plays with your hair gently, before spanking your already warm ass. You jump, “Wha-!” Your too dumb to even form one little word. Her hand rounds where she just slapped and you think she’ll slap you in the same spot when she pulls away, you brace for impact. You yelp! when she slaps your raw pussy instead.

The phone rings…

You don’t see her look at the caller ID, but you hear her sigh.

“This session is over. Come back next week.” She completely pulls away leaving you cold on the outside but still burning for her on the inside.

“What about—?” You start, before she interrupts.

“Session’s over.” she says while buttoning her shirt, then pats down her skirt, before turning back to you, and winks, “Like I said, come back next week” Your heart pounds. Can you even wait a week?

What are you even thinking right now!?

…

You glance back at her. She licks her lips.

She’s on the edge of her desk and watching you get dressed, you walk out the door with a slight limp and her eyes, practically ticklish on your back.

You have to catch your breath outside the thick wood doors.

Sheila groans before picking up the receiver.

“Hello, mommy dearest…” She makes her voice higher pitched and ready to please.