#it sucks knowing i have so many better pictures to use now. sighs. ig just means i have to edit again..

[jeanralphiosbf]

not an artist who draws my ships, not a writer who writes my ships, but a secret third thing

anyways, jr² style edit from jan 2023 be upon ye 🫶

[jaefluenza]

Spare my Pride | L.Jeno

genre: college au, best friends to lovers au, fluff with a little pinch of angst

pairing: boxer!jeno x model!reader ft. Jaemin & Ryujin (of ITZY)

word count: 9,589k words

warning: lots of profanity, bullying attempt, a little bit suggestive

inspired by wish you were gay by Billie Eilish

Jeno Lee has a quirky reputation in college. Girls speak about him whenever he’s around or even when he’s not. He became a hot topic around the school in the past few weeks, because of the current interest he took in. He was an ordinary guy before he joined the new boxing club held by the famous boxer around the faculty, his third-year senior, Jung Jaehyun.

While you, an underground model whose finances are going downhill, are barely visible enough to be known or noticed by people. Being socially awkward since elementary school, your friends can be counted by fingers. You’re the opposite of your own best friend, but you don’t mind that, at first.

Jeno was indeed telling you with excitement when he got accepted into the club, saying that his efforts for the past few weeks taking boxing lessons with his uncle were worth it. You supported him with excitement as well. As much as you know him, he was barely interested in any club, so him joining the popular boxing club was great big news to you. But now, everything has changed as he grew distant to you since he was busy enough to hang with you and he got so many friends.

“Jeno, can you help me with today’s product shoot? I only need a few pictures.” You uttered while checking the post you just added to your IG. He looks at you with a pair of guilty eyes, “What time?”

You could sense his awkwardness, so you turned your head at him. “Uh, at 5 pm? We have to make it before the sunset.”

He mumbled something that you barely heard about, but then he speaks back to you. “What about 3 pm? Well, the golden hour doesn’t always come at 5, you can give your pics a little bit more edit to make it looks influenced by the golden sunset, right? Hehe,” he flusters.

You snort, “Jeno, are you even aware that our last lecture will be finished at 3.30. That’s why we need some time to prepare things before reaching the location. Wait a minute, you got plans to do, am I wrong?”

He showed you his famous eye smiles, though you exactly know that they’re not a delight one.

“I’m sorry, I have a sparring session with Jaehyun hyung exactly at 5 pm before the sky gets dark. Uh, can we do it another day? I swear I will help you.” You frown since this was not the first time he would ditch you.

“I don’t think you will be available again. Well, I’ll just go and ask Ryujin, then.” You grab your things and leave him alone on the bleachers. Jeno runs his fingers through his hair in frustration, feeling guilty as he’s well aware that he’s been offending your feelings.

“Did you hear the news? Jeno’s first fight is on Thursday. Are you going?” Ryujin asked. You only nod, while checking the pictures she just took for you. “I heard, you know how often I check the notice board down the hall. Well, I don’t know if I wanna go, but I want to support him, though.”

“I sincerely hope that popularity doesn’t get into his head. He was a good friend to you.”

Your head turned at her with narrowed eyes, “Do you think he isn’t one now?”

Ryujin scoffs, “Not in that kind of way, you dumb. Relax girl, I was just saying that I hope he still treats you right after he became who he is now.”

You bid your goodbye to Ryujin as you dropped her in her driveway. “Drive safely, sist.”

Well, it turned out that you didn’t go home first. You found yourself heading to the seemingly empty ring on the second floor of the gym building, after asking one of his friends, Jaemin about where he’s at. You hold the plastic bag of foods he likes, motion nervously towards the sound of his soft giggles.

“Yo, I can tell you can do good on Thursday, just improve your strength more by practicing at the gym, then you’re set to go.” You recognized the baritone voice of the club president, Jung Jaehyun, before greeting everyone in the room. “Good evening.”

Every head in the room turned up at you. Every laughter was suppressed, and the room becomes silent. “Oh, hey. You must be here for him,” Jaehyun points his index finger to the younger boy, the current main role in the ring.

Jeno stands up, bidding his goodbye to his team before bringing you outside the room. “Hey, y/n. Uh, why are you here?”

You raise the plastic bag with a smile. “I know you and the team must be hungry after practicing so I bought you guys food.”

Jeno smiles, “Woah, you don’t need to do this to all of us. Thank you so much,” he helped you with the bag and bring you inside again, proceeding to introduce you to his new circle of friends.

That night, you’re finally known as Jeno’s only girl best friend and you’re glad that his friends treat you so good that you feel like you have already been friends with them for so long. It makes you eager to support him better and being the source of his energy for him to do good.

On Thursday, you were in the public library when you received a call from the one and only Lee Jeno.

“Hey, uh, are you free this evening?”

“I know, it’s about your first ring fight, right?”

“Yeah, will you come?”

You stay silent to think for a moment. “Jeno...”

“I... I know you’re afraid of crowds and fights, but please.. can you come for me?”

He’s right. You’re scared of fights and wounds. There was one time when you both were in first grade, he got into a fight with his bully. One thing about Jeno, he holds in his feelings.So when the number of fits of anger and grudges was no longer able to be kept in his chest, he burst into a scary angry kid.

You reminisced when you found him bruised and bleeding at the back of the school, panting angrily. You cried at the horrible sight of him and instead of you comforting him, it turned out him stopping you from crying.

“I’m glad that you knew exactly why I’ve been getting restless about whether to go or not. I’ll think about it, Jeno.”

A sigh of relief could be heard from across the call, and you smile coyly, even though you know he’s unable to see you. But then, you shoot him another question, “Jeno, will you terrible bruised?”

“I don’t know?” He muttered. “What if I cry? I can’t see you getting hurt.”

“Then I’ll make sure to stop your tears, you crybaby.” You swear you could feel his smile.

That Thursday, you decided to come to support him. Though the whole vibe doesn’t bring any comfort into your mind, you find yourself and Ryujin looking for seats for you both to sit on. You had asked for her companion, and since she knew about your fear of violent sports like this, she willingly agreed to go with you.

You give the girls in the row ahead of you a glance as they squeal at the sight of the star of tonight. You turn your head quickly at the ring and there he is, Jeno Lee with all his glory, accompanied by Jung Jaehyun the coach, and Donghyuck and Jaemin as well.

You feel so star-struck by his gorgeous entrance that you can’t hear the screaming of girls clearly as you blink to gather yourself together. “Woah, look at those freshmen girls drooling all over him,” Ryujin uttered.

“I know right,” you muttered. “Well, does he look appealing tonight though, I can fully understand why the girls are ruining their own throats for him by now.”

She nudged you with a smirk, “Aye, are you sure you want me to find out about your foolish crush on him? Don’t even get me started.” Your heart starts to beat faster when you found out that she knew about your long time crush on Jeno. You can feel your cheeks grow warm as you blink in nervousness. “N-no, what are you talking about? Pure nonsense.” Ryujin laughs when she saw your discomfort so she stopped the taunting.

The minute the fight begins, you tried to not get too nervous at the image of him getting hurt. As you see the lights shining precisely on Jeno, you tried to think about how gorgeous he looks tonight.

Jeno looks around before the referee starts the game and he finds you in the crowd. He gives you his famous eye smile and waved at you so you waved back at him before the girls around you think that he was greeting them and scream their whole lungs out.

The fight begins and you didn’t fully pay attention at who’s hitting who but with the help of Ryujin, you’d notice what’s happening in the damn ring. You open your eyes slowly only to see his opponent, Bang Chan, putting a knock on Jeno’s face and you flinch in fear, regretting your choice to open your goddamn eyes.

Tears start to fall down your cheeks, and your shoulder shakes as your sob getting covered by the screams of the girls and the boxing supporters. Ryujin put her hands around you to soothe you down, and she got angry when someone at the back scoffed at you. “Hey, if you’re not strong enough to see this kind of shit, don’t even come here.”

“Shut up, you dickhead. You can go suck your smelly ass, and mind your own business.” She swears on that guy and you look at her with pride. “Thanks, girl.” And she replied with, “Don’t worry, baby girl. I got you.”

The crowds cheer even louder and that’s when you realized, that your best friend and long time crush wins. You cheer along with the crowds with sobs when you saw his bruises and his swelling eyes, and even though you couldn’t bear seeing him getting hurt like that, you still feel proud for him to win on his first fight debut.

Ryujin encourages you to go down the bleachers and greet him but you feel so hesitant to go. “What if he’s surrounded by his people and I’ll just ruin their time together? I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Girl, look at him. There he is, hoping for you to approach him. Go! You’re his number one supporter after all.”

So you did. You went to the side of the ring to greet him, and Jeno gets out of the ring happily. “Hey! Did you saw me? I win!”

You wipe your tears harshly as your small sob could be heard by him. “Aw, you’re crying. Come on, let’s go somewhere quieter.”

He brings you to the back of the bleachers and hugs you with his boxing gears still wrapped around his body. “Stop crying, I won the game. Are you proud of me?”

Your sobs only grow louder, but you tried not to cry anymore so you let go and brace yourself to take a look at his bruised face. “These must’ve hurt a lot. Oh my goodness,” your tears fall onto the ground when he flinched at the touch of your hand against his swelling face. “Don’t worry, all I got to do is just putting a pack of ice on my face and they’ll heal within a week.”

“Congratulations,” you said while choking on your sobs. “Thank you for being my supporter, either.” He replied.

You left him to celebrate the win with his team, and you were about to leave the field when you noticed someone from the famous girls’ squad approaching him and his team. “Isn’t that Yeeun?”

“Yeeun?” You asked with a puzzled expression.

“Yeah, Yeeun Jang, she’s a third-year student, a part of the ‘mean girls’ of the faculty. She’s pretty famous. Is she interested in him?”

“I don’t know. Let’s go.”

Hell. It has been hell with Jeno always ignoring your calls and invites to hang out. You have been so frustrated by how he acts lately. Your friends have been telling you about how Jeno somehow got really close with that Yeeun girl, but you didn’t listen fully to the rumors. You need to hear from Jeno himself, because someone who has been your bestie for nearly fifteen years would never ditch you for a girlfriend, right? You keep telling yourself that you know the boy really well and that he’s way better than that. But what Jeno has been doing kind of convince you the other way.

You were trying so hard not to get offended at how he declined your invitation to lunches or mini study sessions that you both used to have together. Something like, ‘I’m sorry, Y/n. I think I have to skip the night. Have fun.’, or ‘Oh, I already have lunch with Yeeun. I’m sorry I have to ditch again... and make sure you have your lunch. Bye!’

“If I were you, I’d be so pissed and probably leave him for good until he realizes that she was no good at all.” Ryujin smashed her chip bag so hard that it almost burst onto the ground. “You know I can never do that to him, he was my first friend in school, until now. I can’t just leave him like that.”

“Then, confess the whole thing to him,��� she exclaims.

You narrow your eyes at her, “Confess what?” “Your feelings, duh.”

You flinch from where you sat on. “There’s no way I will do that! Besides, I really just see him as a best friend, th-that’s all,” you replied coyly.

“Bullshit. Even if you don’t tell me, the way you see him and the way you treat him show it all. You can’t hide it well, Y/n. Even the whole school may know you have a thing for the famous Jeno Lee.”

“Yeah, if you tell ‘em so.” you sighed at the thought of him finding out your big fat crush on him. “Oooooh, so you just admitted that you-”

“Shut up, Ryujin.” You can feel her lips pulled into a smile as you put your hand against her chatty mouth.

A week passed and you let yourself rest from contacting Jeno for lunches or a study session together after repeatedly getting no answers or rejections from him. He doesn’t ask where you have been or how’s your day going anymore, it feels like you both are getting down to the ‘friend’ stage instead of going up. But you always support him as he expected. You never missed any of his matches but whenever you come, you’d leave quickly when the pop girl approached him with the rest of her pop group members.

“I can’t believe you’re still going to see his matches, he doesn’t even look in your way! And at this point, you might as well get the title as the ‘crying girl who insists on watching a boxing match even though she can’t’. Next time, wear a mask or something!” you rolled your eyes playfully upon hearing her nagging, well, obviously Ryujin.

“I promised him to give full supports, I don’t have the nerve to ignore his matches like they didn’t happen,” you said before quietly slurping your noodles. “Yet he didn’t have the nerve to look for you in the crowd.”

You sigh, not because her words are sharp enough to ruin the insides of your little heart, but because they are right. Jeno doesn’t notice you anymore whenever you come to watch his matches, nor that he tried to look for you anyway. And, as you paid attention to where he would look, his eyes would eventually land on the girl in the frontline, waving at him with a proud smile, supporting him instead of you.

“You’re right, Ryujin. Maybe, I should start to get over him.”

Ryujin’s shipper heart begins to panic a little, “N-no, what I’m saying is I think you should make him look at you instead. Turn his attention to you like it used to be, darl.”

So, you tried. You asked Jaemin, his closest friend and his roommate, about where he could be, or if he’s at home or at practice. Sometimes, you’d pass some food on Jaemin just so they could eat them at home, but according to Jaemin, he always eats them alone, saying Jeno never comes home at dinner time.

Today, you have a very busy timeline. First, you have to pass a homework to a professor and then walk across the building to look for reference books at the library. And, don’t forget about how you have three classes in a day and one finishes in two hours. You had a feeling that you’ll get no time to have lunch today. 

You grab your books tightly as you walk out from the library to go to the next lecture. The books barely let you have enough view about what’s in front so you were literally ready to say sorry when you run into someone. “Oops! Oh my god, I’m sorry,” you muttered when all of the books fell into the ground. You didn’t focus on who is the guy you ran into, but then...

“Y/n?” A familiar voice comes from the guy, and you noticed that it’s the guy you don’t wish to see now. “Oh, hey, Jeno.” you greeted him awkwardly when he helped you pick up the books. 

“Hey, got a lot to study, huh?” He flashed you his famous smile before handing you some of the books. “Yeah, I’m preparing for finals. Uh, that’s okay, I���ll hold all of them.”

Jeno proceeds to walk beside you. “No, you’ll run into someone else again. Let me help you.”

You hate how he acts kind to you like this, like nothing happened. “Jeno, why haven’t you replying to any of my messages?” you asked softly. All of a sudden, he’s being strangely nervous and you can’t help but be suspicious about it. “Well, uh, I’ve been busy with practices. I’m sorry, I’ll check ‘em out later.”

You give him a small smile before you both arrived at the front door of the lecture hall. He hands you the rest of the books, and before he leaves, another person appeared in front of you both. “Hey, Y/n. Ooh, let me help you. We’re in the same lecture, I see.” Jaemin showed up looking all smiley before taking all of the books from your hands. 

“Hey, thanks. Well, yeah. L-let’s go then.” You bid your goodbye to Jeno and trail behind Jaemin as he speaks, “I brought you lunch pack because I know that you have a busy day ahead, let’s enjoy it later.”

Jeno observes the interaction, and somehow he felt a little bit weird that Jaemin starts to talk to you. His thoughts wander with a lot of question when he heard Jaemin said, “It’s nothing. I just want to pay back all of the food you sent us.” She gives him food?

“So, what happens with all the food trading and stuff? Do you guys feed each other?” Jeno grabbed the cup and filled in the cold drink he thirsted for, while Jaemin confusingly sits in front of the tv, fiddling with his gaming device.

“What do you mean?” He asked back.

“Y/n. She has been giving you food, hasn’t she? Well, I didn’t know you were that close to her.”

Jaemin snorts, “Look, she actually sent the food for you. She knew how much time you spent on practices and how much of a stubborn you are to skip your meals so she sent them through me. And she also thinks that it’s burdensome to only send you food so she made some for me too. They were for us, I called you several times but you never made it home at dinner time so I ate them alone.” Jaemin takes a deep breath after the long-needed explanations.

“They were for me? But she never told me,” Jeno muttered. “Yeah, because you were too fucking busy hanging out around your team or whoever. You never check out her messages that is why my friend, she always gets the info through me.”

“Excuse me, I wasn’t only busy playing around, my practices are very important too.”

“Whatever you say, young man. But you might need to pay more attention to those who actually take care of you even when you have zero ideas about it.”

Jaemin loses the need to play anymore so he just shuts the tv down and goes straight to his room, giving his friend some time to think.

That was when Jeno’s thought wanders off to think about you. He actually noticed the little time he spent with you, but he keeps insisting that it’s because he’s busy with his personal lives. After all, you were not familiar enough with his new circle so he only thinks that this all happened only because the situation has gone wrong. But never has it comes to his mind that you still think of him, and care for him.

That night, he was definitely moved to do the same to you, to care and show a little affection as a friend to you just like what you did to him, but he just doesn’t know how to do that.

Being close to a lot of famous people in college doesn’t actually bring validation to Jeno. Other students only recognize him as Jaehyun’s new ‘apprentice’, something pretty similar to that. But he doesn’t want to be known as that, he wants to be recognized as Jeno Lee, his own person.

Also, being close to someone as a part of the cheerleading girls, Yeeun Jang, doesn’t actually give him the happiness and fun he needed. Jeno knew he wasn’t feeling himself these past few weeks, and he only thought that it was only because he was adjusting. But he was wrong.

Like now. When the loud annoying girls all surrounded around him, he wishes he could just escape the crowded cafeteria as he grips onto his tray tightly, obviously getting uncomfortable by the swarming girls around him.

“Jeno, I thought you only eat carbs to maintain your strength,” Yeeun said as she sticks her upper body more to Jeno and the boy only shifts away in discomfort. He swears he could hear the other girls muttering something he wished he didn’t hear like, ‘I wish I have her boobs’ and ‘Shut up, she got a boob job as a gift in her sweet seventeenth.’

“Uh, since I live with my roommate Jaemin, he really likes sweet things so he got me into eating sweets as well and now I like them.”

“Don’t eat them, it’ll make your body look uneven. Do you want to go to the gym with me this evening? I got VIP memberships.”

Jeno licked his lips in nervousness, not because he gets excited at the idea of going to the gym with the hottest girl in school but because he tries to think so hard about how to reject this rebellious girl. “Uh, I don’t think I’m gonna be available. I have a training session with Jaehyun hyung at 5 pm, maybe next time?”

Yeeun rolls her eyes, she was never rejected like this before, and it’s only making her more curious about this mysterious boy.

Precisely when he thought he had no hope to escape the little kind of hell, he saw you, Ryujin, and Jaemin entering the cafeteria with laughter and it’s the moment he knew, you guys are the only hope he has. “Uhm, girls, it’s nice hanging out around you during lunch, but it’s getting so hot in here so I’ll change my table, thanks!”

He quickly grabbed his tray and moved out of the table and half run to yours.

The three of you flinched in shock when the poor panting man put his tray firmly and immediately sit on the empty seat next to yours. “Oh my gosh, I thought I could never escape that hell.”

Ryujin scoffs, “What? Sitting with the Korean version of the plastics? Well, I thought you enjoyed hanging around them.”

You give her a look, not wanting him to be embarrassed or something. After all, you feel glad that he went to look for you, it’s an indication for you that he still needs you by his side. “Eat more, Jen.” You put some of the sausages you got after fighting with the rugby boys, as you were always mad that they taking the whole food all for themselves, and this time you won.

He smiles, “Thank you. I’ll eat well.”

Jaemin watched your movement while being next to his friend, and his keen sense notifies him that you must have a thing for his friend, but he tried not to jump on his own conclusions before he gets to know the truth.

“Hey, I have some shoots to do tonight at 9 pm. Do you guys want to tag along? I heard about the bridge about five kilometers from here that makes it possible for us to cycle around.” You uttered. And the next thing that came from Jeno’s mouth surprised you to the max.

“Sure, I’ll be finished at 8 pm so I’ll meet you guys there, I guess.”

Jaemin and Ryujin also agreed and you tried so hard not to call it a double date.

“Did he seriously ditched us and went to those idiot nerds? I can’t believe him.”

“It’s Y/n, his best friend ever since they were first graders. I don’t think she sees him as a best friend though,” Sorn looked at the way you smiled at Jeno, and her keen sense is telling him that something is off. “Urgh, shut up Sorn, thinking never helps you,” Eunbin rolled her eyes and laugh with the rest of the girls, while Yeeun put her friend’s words into her mind.

“Come on, you cycle slower than any alive turtles out there.” The wind blows through your hair as the night view of the river comes as a company on your left side.

“Do you even know that some turtles run very fast than a rabbit? Some even win the race with them!” Jeno remarked. “Then, are you glad to be a turtle?”

“Yeah, they’re cute.” “Indeed.”

“What?” “What?”

Jeno laughs at your quirky behavior, and before he gets to cycle right next to your side, annoying screams come as a surprise from behind you two.

“Hey! You two are going too fast! My legs are falling apart!”

“Shut up, you both are simply slow.”

Ryujin only smirks when she saw you and Jeno getting along with each other like you used to be. “Let’s stop for ramen. I’m starving,” she said before leading the four of you to park in front of a convenient store.

“You two, go get us ramens. We’re exhausted enough to make some food so you both do us some favors.”

So you and Jeno ended up going into the store looking for ramen, cheese and other stuff. You went to grab some beverages and he sets himself to deal with the ramen machine. You remember Ryujin ordering an orange juice and Jaemin wanting, of course, non-milk or strawberry drinks. So you look for any drinks he might like and they’re unfortunately put on the highest platform in the beverage sections.

“Shit, I can’t reach them.” You tried to jump and when your hand was about to reach the drink, another hand joins in and grabs the drink you wanted to snatch.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself, Y/n. You could’ve asked for my help.” Jeno put the drink on your basket and you only let out a strained smile when you precisely feel his body sticks behind you, covering the distance between you two. “Thanks,” you stuttered.

“It’s nothing. Let’s pay them, I’m finished with the ramens.”

Meanwhile, Ryujin and Jaemin waited outside while observing both of you inside the store. Things were going awkward before Ryujin eventually uttered, “Do you honestly think that your friend likes my friend?”

Jaemin blinks in nervousness, he could say he wasn’t ready for this kind of conversation. “Uh, he never mentions about getting ‘too close’ to Y/n. But I do notice that they’re being strangely awkward towards each other recently.”

“Well, I want them to get closer rather than Jeno going out with that annoying bitch, so are you in?”

“Woah, you’re being too frank. First, I don’t really get why we should do that so maybe you have to explain to me first,” Jaemin replied back unwieldy.

Ryujin rolled her eyes, but then she realized what she had to know. “So, do you think Jeno will be better off with that Yeeun girl or that particular girl who has been with him for almost fifteen years?” She said while pointing to you who’s paying at the cashier.

Jaemin frowns, this isn’t the question he expected. “I don’t know.”

“I’m not asking if you know, I’m asking about your opinion, bro.”

“Uh, I don’t want to give any words about Jeno but I think Y/n deserves better,” he replied.

Ryujin puckers her lips upon his twisted answer. She tries to think of what that possible means, and then she jolts up from her seat, lips turning into a wide ‘O’ as she accusingly points at Jaemin. “No way. No fucking way, do you like her???”

Panic starts to creep into Jaemin’s self as he turns pale in front of the frank girl. “N-no. W-what are you talking about??”

“What in the world, Jaemin? I thought-”

“Shut up! They’re coming.”

Jaemin pushed both of her shoulders to sit back as he saw the pair from the corner of his eyes. “Act normal,” he said.

Ryujin clears her throat as the pair comes and puts the food on the table, bringing more awkward tension around the group. “You two, what were you doing?” Jeno asked.

“We were just playing a game of rock, paper, and scissors, nothing else, right?” Jaemin gives the poor girl a look, making her just agreeing to whatever he’d say.

Oh my goodness, this is going to be ridiculous.

A particular Monday comes with a smile on your face. You started the day with two slices of bacon alongside a cup of warm latte that makes you smile two times bigger than you usually do. The day went pretty great which makes you wonder since when do Mondays have such good vibes like this? You don’t know, maybe today is your blessing.

You told Ryujin that you’re already on your way to meet her at the front lobby until a convertible stopped right in front of you. “Get in, loser. We’re going shopping.”

Wow, Ryujin was right. They were indeed the Korean version of the ‘Mean Girls’ you watched on Netflix every Saturday. “Uh, no thanks?”

“Gurl, are you that stupid to think that we’re actually going shopping? No, we’re going to Jeno’s match.”

“Did he actually ask you to pick me up, or? Cause I think he would never do that.” You remarked back. “Just get in, will you-”

“No. Do not go with her.” Ryujin’s deep voice makes you shiver in fear not for yourself, but for them. Cause when the angry deep voice itself was out, you’d know that they were done for. “You witch, what are you trying to do with her.”

The girls laughed like lunatics before speeding off ahead and you only sigh in annoyance. “Were they trying to hurt me?”

“Yeah, and don’t tell me you were actually being a fool by believing every single spat of their bullshits.” You hit her arm playfully, before hugging her to show her that you are grateful enough to have someone like her by your side. “Of course not. I may be a crybaby who despises fistfights and crowds but I’m not stupid like them.”

“Gosh, somehow I wonder why you’re my best friend.”

“They were trying to mess with me with his name? What was their intention?” You narrow your eyes to think better and she only shrugs. “I’m not sure. Perhaps, jealousy? Those cliche petty little bitches.”

“Wait a minute, they said today is one of Jeno’s match. I think we should probably go.”

So you ended up going to the match with Ryujin and Jaemin. You weren’t actually going with him, he just simply found you both at the seats and decided to join. He said Jeno’s team no longer needed him to accompany Jeno in the ring, but he’d, of course, watch all of his game as an act of support, just like you do.

“I bought some popcorns.” Being an awkward being, Jaemin passed another popcorn cup he got to both you and Ryujin. She gladly took them while replying nonchalantly, “Thanks. This is much more appreciated for me but her, she only needs some tissues.”

“What for?”

“You shall see it yourself, my friend.”

And according to what Jaemin witnessed later, she was right. As soon as Jeno got punched in his cheeks you were already a crying mess. He has the urge to hug you but it’d probably make things more uncomfortable for the three of you so he holds it in. Jaemin doesn’t have any idea how and why in the world seeing you cry is making him feeling pinched in the inside too.

“Hey, don’t cry.” Jaemin couldn’t help but wipe those hot tears flowing on your face softly. “Thanks, it’s just I can’t bear seeing people get hurt. It has always been my fuckin’ weakness.” You proceed to wipe them on your own and he just shifts his hand away ungainly. Jaemin knows very well that by means of people was just a use of words to change his exact name. Yeah, Jeno Lee, he's the one you're afraid of getting hurt.

After all, you still went to all of his games and support him with all your worth. Now he’s very much sure that you don’t see him only as a friend.

Jeno is indeed a fighter, he won again. After Ryujin and Jaemin left you to greet him out of the ring, you immediately went to him. You were lucky enough that the loud girls weren’t there so you were the first person he saw when he stepped out of the ring. “Hey, I won again.” He smiles at you and you swear his bruises couldn’t cover the true beauty he has on that face. “I’m proud of you, as much as I can’t bear watching you getting hurt as usual.”

Jeno awed, “Did you cry?” and you only nod. “Yeah, a lot. Can’t help, you know.”

“Is it weird that I like how you cried for me when I fight? Geez,” Jeno paused when he saw your puzzled expression. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” He muttered before flinching when he unconsciously trying to cover his swelling face. “My God, Jen, you’re so dumb. It’s alright, it could be an indication that you’re mindful enough that I care for you.”

“That’s right. Thank you for supporting-”

“Yo, Jeno. Be here before we celebrate your win. Quick!” Jaehyun shouts from across the ring and Jeno only sighs in defeat. “Well, the coach is calling. Gotta go,” He uttered while pressing his lips together. “It’s fine. I’ll see you on Tuesday.”

You left the field with a certain smile on your face. After all, you didn’t have any high hopes that he might somehow return your feelings in any good way, but seeing him rely on you like this makes you feel so warm inside. And the way that he’s getting closer back to you like he used to also makes you reassured that he’s still your number one best friend.

You promised Ryujin and Jaemin to go get dinner together after the match so they told you they’d be waiting on the sidewalk since it’s gonna be only a ten minutes walk to the burger stall you recommended. You decide to take the fastest way to exit the school, by walking by the dark hallway across the field. And now, you start to regret your decision.

“Shit’s about to go down, baby.”

Ryujin moves her leg impatiently. She keeps glancing around the almost empty school front yard, where everyone keeps leaving one by one. “Jaemin, for fuck’s sake stop playing with your phone! It’s almost empty and she’s not here yet.”

Jaemin puts his phone away, start looking around the school with a little hint of suspicion. “Uh, maybe Jeno’s taking her somewhere? Maybe you should text her or give a call,” He uttered before logging into his previously opened game. 

“If she decided to go somewhere without us I could’ve received her text by now, but it’s getting late and I noticed some of his team passing by so I assumed they were celebrating his win, and he’s definitely taking her with him.” Ryujin paused while she raised her eyebrows. “I’m getting a little bit anxious here since this morning they were coming up to pick her somewhere before the game starts.”

“Who?” “The mean girls.” “The mean- what? WHAT DID YOU SAY?”

“Well, they were trying to mess with her, Jaem.”

“SHIT! Come, let’s go and check around!”

So both started to enter the building and looking around in the hallways. Jaemin goes to the left side and Ryujin to the right side. He was catching up his breath until he heard a familiar scream. He quickly runs to the voice, coincidentally meeting Ryujin on the same path. “I heard her,” she panted.

“Stop doing this, the fuck!”

“No, you’re the one should stop doing this! Stop being fuckin’ close to him! You’re nothing but a leech to him, don’t you see this coming? Gosh,” Yeeun pushed you further into the empty classroom, her fellow friends dragging both of your hands, and you only struggle out of their grasp.

“Ryujin was right, you’re such a petty little bitch.”

“What?” Without waiting for your answer, she hits you with something you have no idea about and that shit hurts like hell. She was about to hit you again but then, “Stop doing that to her or I’ll call the fuckin’ cops!” Ryujin holds her phone up close to show them that she’s not playing with her words. Sorn and Elkie let you out of their hold and Yeeun hissed in anger. “Let’s go,” She motioned the other girls to leave before she heads to you once more. “We still have some unfinished business.”

“Oh hell no, you don’t.” Yeeun gasped in fear when Jaemin came behind Ryujin looking so pissed and she quickly left the scene, following her friends behind.

“Fuck, are you okay?” Ryujin checked you out, supporting your weight to stand up again. “Ryujin, stop swearing.” You chuckled weakly. 

They helped you get out of that hell, and have you treated at the nearest clinic since your forehead and cheeks were bleeding a little. Jaemin was so pissed to see you treated that way, he was about to confront the girls the next very day but you told him not to, saying that you will take care of this problem yourself, and he did nothing but to respect your decision. 

Jeno himself didn’t found out until now, because you literally bribed Ryujin and Jaemin to not telling anyone including him. They were so mad that you were acting like a saint in this situation but you’re glad though, that they respected what you wanted and gave you full support in case you needed some other help.

You did exactly what Yeeun told you that night, even though you knew that it isn’t right to do so, but you only want him to be safe and okay. You don’t want him to be affected by how she and the crude gang treated you. You’d hate it when drama turns into crowds and when the attention would go to you, so you decided that silence is the best answer.

While Jeno is quite pissed that everything starts to change. He noticed your sudden change, also Ryujin and Jaemin who stopped talking to him all of a sudden, and your change of glances. You no longer look at him with affections like you used to, and he hates how he’s clueless about it. He hates it more because no one also comes up and tells him what’s up. He’d approach you to ask what’s going on but you’d avoid him obviously, by taking a sudden turn to the left or walking still like you didn’t saw him coming.

Every time he would ask Jaemin about it, he’d change the topic very quickly, or leave him hanging just like that, more confused. But today’s gonna be pretty different, cause he won’t let this happen anymore.

He finally found you walking with a pile of books, possibly your next lecture’s materials. Glad that he’s entering the same class as you, he rushed to your side until a pair of arms cling onto his. “Hello, Jen. Do you have any plans for today?”

“Hey, Yeeun. Not now, please. I need to talk to someone-” “Urgh! Why is it always about her? Y/n, isn’t it? I think you’re too blind to-”

He brushed her arms aside quickly, visibly pissed by her annoying behavior. “Shut up. You clearly don’t know anything.” He sent a glare to her for the last time before he left to look for you in the huge lecture hall. There you are, sitting at the corner seat of the class, avoiding crowds as usual. He rushed up to sit next to you, his eyes never leaving you as if you were gonna leave if he blinks in a moment.

“Y/n. I need to talk-” you knew he was coming, so you were glad when the professor entered the hall as the class starts. “I’m afraid I can’t, the lecture is starting.” 

“Then, talk to me after class ends,” he uttered before taking the seat next to you, without getting any reply.

He failed to talk to you. Jeno entered the small apartment with a heavy sigh. He didn’t obtain the assurance he yearned for, and so he’s utterly pissed. He glanced at Jaemin who’s fiddling with the kitchenware while cooking for dinner. Jeno put his bag carelessly on the floor before going straight to the kitchen counter. “Bro, please help me. Please,” he pleaded.

Jaemin knows very well where this would lead to, and he only sighs as a reply. “I would love to but I promised her not to open my mouth about it. Though it is very wrong to do so.”

“What in the world happened?? What could possibly make her upset? She never left me alone just like that? You gotta tell me what did I do so wrong so that I can fix it,” he raved.

“I know. I’m very much aware of what you felt. But as much as I want to tell you, I don’t want to break her trust.” Jaemin paused before looking in Jeno’s way. He looked so frustrated like he actually has concerns about it. “Jeno, I’ll ask you two questions. First, do you really care about her?”

Jeno looks up at his friend, “Yes? Yes! I care about her a lot.”

“And, do you actually have a thing for her?”

“Feelings, you probably mean?” Jeno sighs in annoyance. “Yes, I like her, since fourth grade. Ugh, now you know one of my big secrets.”

Jaemin gulps down his saliva like something dropped in the deepest part of his heart. Now he knows what Jeno truly felt about you, and he knows exactly what to do. “Fuck it, you deserve to know, then.”

A week later, you honestly grew tired of ignoring him, but you still have this slight fear of the ‘mean girls’ approaching you again. After all the cruel physical encounter you faced that night, you swore you couldn’t even dare to text him, nor replying to his texts even though you wanted to. Jeno meant a lot to you, but the fear of everything going even more wrong keeps restraining you to interact with him.

The girls indeed stopped bothering you, even though you’re still receiving glares every moment they pass by, it was going a little bit better, as you expected. Also, Jeno has stopped asking to talk about it. You thought it’s better this way, but why aren’t you happy? Why are you still frightened?

Ryujin suggested you a quick runaway from the mess you currently getting involved in, she invited you to go to the finals after party. After making sure that Jeno and the girls won’t be there, you agreed to go. She immediately brought you shopping at the mall, helping you pick out some bomb outfits that’ll make everyone turn their eyes on you.

“Now these will definitely help you to be that bitch for the weekend.”

“Shut it, Ryujin.” You chuckle after receiving the compliment. You’re glad you have someone like her, who’s in for the up-in-downs along in your ‘ride’. “I love you, Y/n. And I don’t want you to be deeply affected by what those wicked bitches do to you. I’m here for you, you know.”

“I know. Thanks baby girl. You’re someone I didn’t know I needed.”

She smiled at you as both of you continue the window shopping.

Going to the party, you found yourself getting anxious about the idea of meeting new people and getting yourself involves in a big dancing crowd. You find it terrifying, even though you tried to convince yourself to be as confident as possible. Ryujin goes with you, and she never stops reassuring you that everything will be okay and that you will meet new friends and live your life to the fullest. Sounds exaggerated, indeed, but it does not fail to boost your vanishing confidence.

“It’s either you and me going in, or it’ll never happen. Come on, honey. You’ll be fine. I’ll stick with you no matter what happens.”

You gulped while staring at the big frat house. The music blasts loudly and the sounds of people screaming and laughing around make your heart beats quickly. You fix your white satin dress before proceeding to open the door. 

Ryujin clings her arm to yours as you both enter the house. Luckily, there are no wandering eyes went to you as soon as you step into the house. She brings you around to introduce you to some people she knows there, being hopeful that you’d gain new friends and circles. 

You kept insisting that you want to drink, so Ryujin lets you roam around to find snacks or drinks. Being a constant loner doesn’t mean that you’re unfamiliar with the alcohol world. You tasted it before, like wine or champagne when you celebrated huge things with your family, or beer and tequila. You’re an adult, after all. So, you were sure that there must be any drink you can have in here and you’re going to find it. You pretty much need booze to drunk the night away. 

You pass through everybody with unpleasant steps towards the visible bar across the room. So, here’s the kitchen, you thought, trying to remember the path back to Ryujin and her friends. You found a tray of beers on the counter, along with some Cheetos and tortilla chips around it. 

You filled your cup with the beer, before leaving the room quietly. You walked towards the same room you believe that Ryujin and her friends were in until you noticed an opened door to the balcony. Finally, an alone and quiet place.

You move the cup to your lips only to drink it in one go. A sigh leaves your red-painted lips as the night winds start to blow through your revealing outfits, making you shiver in cold. “I should’ve brought more cups, or maybe the whole bottle itself.” You murmured against the cup before chugging every last drop from the cup. 

You stare blankly at people grilling meats at the backyard beside the decorated pool, as you start thinking of how blue your life must have been. Your best friend trying to set you up to gain friends and have some fun, but here you are, secluding yourself apart from the crowd, drinking alone at the balcony. You were about to get inside to bring more drink back to the balcony when you notice something below your eye level. An unopened bottle of beer! Great, the universe even supported the heck out of you to keep being alone and away from people.

You opened the cap swiftly before pouring in the drink to fill the cup. Fifteen minutes later, you find yourself getting a little bit tipsy after the bottle lost half of its filling. You never knew you were kind of this intolerance to alcohol but screw it. You’re just going to get drunk tonight.

“I just wanna make you feel okay,” you sang halfheartedly as you chugged down the fourth cup in another go. The chilly night couldn’t stop you from drinking the night away, because every liquor that goes through your throat was awfully making yourself a little bit warm but that wasn’t enough for your revealed body. Besides, the thin satin dress couldn’t hug your body better than lots of the comfortable sweatshirts you own at home, and now your cute drunken ass is missing them.

“But all you do is look the other way.” you sang more of the well-known song with another sigh leaving your pretty mouth out of loneliness. “I just kinda wish you were gay.” That’s true, you kinda wish he was gay, rather than not returning your feelings in the way you wanted him to. You tried giving your all to Jeno, but it does not seem that he still depends on you like he used to be when you’re both close to each other. 

You’d rather have him despise you because you were not his preferred sexual orientation than having him surrounded by annoying and hateful girls who tried to control his social life. You chugged down another gulp before putting the empty bottle to its original place, head starting to get dizzy from the influence. You were about to leave the little comfort zone when a jacket was placed around your back all of a sudden, and when you turn around to see who is it, you were greeted with a huge bear hug by a familiar body scent.

“Why are you alone here, huh?” Your drunken self instantly recognized the sound coming from the boy you were just thinking about, the infamous Jeno Lee. “Why are you here, I thought you weren’t invited?” You asked back, gaining a pout on his face without letting go of your freezing body. “That doesn’t matter. Look, don’t be drunk alone like this ever again. Somebody could’ve run into you and even take advantage of you, I wouldn’t let that happen.”

You chuckle in your drunk state, “Like you? Look at you clinging into me like this, like a Koala bear.” He let go of your frame, but then his hand goes to yours, securing your hand in his as he lets out a bitter sigh. 

“Look, y/n. I found out about what the girls did to you that night. I am so sorry for what happened to you, and I made sure that they will not harm you ever again. Will you forgive me?”

You sighed as well. You didn’t expect this to come up but you knew if this would happen, especially when Jaemin existed as his roommate. “I am fine now, Jen. Also, it’s not your fault that this happened. It’s not your fault either that you met the wrong person in the wrong situation as well.”

You paused, before taking a deep breath. You were ready to let go of everything, anyway. “You know it, I’ll keep supporting you even if I’m not around, because.. you are my best friend. Whatever you love, I’d love them too. If my existence brings you failure or such, then I don’t deserve to be-” your teary glance was interrupted by a sudden contact to your red painted lips. 

Jeno leaned closer with a sudden move, pressing his lips into you precisely, and you take his lips well as he starts to move his tongue inside, feeling the taste of yours in his mouth. Half a minute has passed, and both of you let go of each other face with his hands around your relaxed jaws. Panting like he just ran in a marathon, he chuckles, “Of course you deserve to be around me, Y/n. Instead, I’m the one who didn’t deserve to get close to you. I like you, a lot. Shit no, I love you. But instead, the things I brought you were just trouble, sadness, and tears. I truly don’t deserve you, love.”

After hearing his bitter confession, your eyes open wide awake like you’ve never touch those alcoholic bottles. Did you just hear him say that he likes you, back? You couldn’t believe it, so you decide to make sure. “Do you like me back? Is it.. really true? Did you mean it?”

He nods, and before you could react, he pressed another soft kiss into your lips, making your cheeks heated despite the coldness of the night. 

“I meant it. Do you... perhaps, feel the same?”

“I do, Jen. I do,” you replied with confidence.

He said nothing, but his smiles show it all. Jeno has the perfect eye smiles you love on him as he drags you back into the house. You let him take you anywhere he could find, and now you ended up in an unknown room in the huge frat house, his hands all over your waist. 

He pulled you closer when you look around the room, noticing that it belongs to Felix, the nice guy who went to the same class as you and Ryujin. “It’s alright. He’s one of my friends, I’m sure he won’t be too mad if we mess around here.”

You smile sheepishly, “Shut up, Jen. My cheeks are burning,” you put your hands around his neck as he made the both of you sit on the edge of the bed with you straddling on his lap. Jeno chuckled in delight upon hearing your coy remarks before he proceeds to put some wet kisses on your neck. 

You hiss at the feeling, and you could feel his lips turned into a smirk against your neck. “You’re turning me crazy, baby.” He murmured against your lips when you reach down to meet his lips. “Touch me, Jen. I’m all yours.”

He begins to take off your shirt, admiring your beauty served in front of him. “You’re so perfect. I love you,” he mumbled before he flips the both of you on the bed, topping you as the night becomes warm with a lot of praises and love talks. That night, Jeno became yours and you became his. There was nothing said besides sweet nothings as he pressed your bodies closer to each other with his hands around your waist lovingly. “I’m sorry for being a coward these past few times, Y/n. I’ll make sure to make you happy.”

“That does not matter anymore, you are mine now matters.” you let out a soft yawn and he only chuckled, while the two of you start to drift further into the dreamland.

“Who the fuck fucking in my precious room- Jeno??? Eh, Y/n???”

“The fuck is happening?”

“Oh shit, we’re doomed.”

Things begin to carry smoothly as the two of you casually seen being the campus lovebirds. Ryujin wouldn’t stop making a fuss about how you ended up cuddling naked at Felix’s room, until you came clean to her about it. Now everyone knew you were the love of Jeno’s life all of this time, the one who makes him rejected not only Yeeun but all the famous girls who were after him.

Jaemin gives up his feelings for you, for the sake of your happiness and his roommate best friend. He also realized that it was not really a crush and that he was just in an awe-struck with you, because you’re an amazing person. He also becomes closer to your one and only sidekick, Ryujin. Life is full of surprises, you all thought. 

“You two can take care of the picnic basket, Ryujin and I are going to rent some bikes.”

“No, jaem. We can’t leave them alone in this beautiful nature. Last time I left her on a crowded party she was fucking with his long term crush.” Ryujin smirks as she looked in your direction, satisfied at how you choked on your coke in shock. “You promised to not bring that up again.”

“We’re all human, we can’t exactly make promises,” Jaemin adds in.

“True that,” The two then raise their hand for a high five, gaining an eye roll and a groan from you and Jeno.

“Duh, it’s like you two were perfectly made for each other.”

“Shut up.” “Duuude, she’s blushing.” “It’s about damn time you get her, bro.”

Happy ending, isn’t it?

NCT Dream Masterlist

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[pxnk-velvet]

Momma Bear (d.d. Imagine)

Summary: Y/n, David’s best friend, gets a little protective of him around ig models

Warnings: cussing, fluff, ig models, horrible writing (its my first imagine, i know it sucks)

Word Count: 1.5k

“I’m home bitches!” I scream, entering the house, kicking my slides into the pile of shoes at the door. I drop my bag onto the pool table and turn to be greeted with smiles and waves.

“So what’s the plan for tonight?” I question, leaning against the back of the cloud, leaning over Natalie. The closeness normal after a decade of friendship. Many memories made and shared with her and David was right beside us.

After moving to Vernon Hills, I was the lonely new girl in the neighborhood. Up until the day a soccer ball flew through my living room window, and I was the only one home. A group of kids stood outside the broken window, guilt written all over their faces. But I wouldn’t have changed a thing, because without that broken window I wouldn’t have found my best friends. Now years later, I stand in the living room of the house I shared with Natalie and David. Natalie his assistant and me there just for fuck sake.

I lean against the couch fully, my arms wrapped around Natalie, my chin resting on her shoulder.

David emerges from his room, noticing me and Natalie, stating “We’re probably gonna swing by Stass’s house to chill.”

“Yippee.” I mutter sarcastically with an eye roll, groaning when David leans over top of me.

“What was that?” Zane asks, laughing at my sarcasm. Everyone’s attention turned towards me.

I go to answer, but David wraps his arms around me, picks me up, and spins me around. I remove myself from his grip, giving him a “not now” look.

“You guys know. Don’t be stupid.” I roll my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest.

David grabs me by the shoulders and shakes, “Why do you always skip out on stuff whenever she’s around?” His hands falling from my shoulders.

“Because it’s always Stass and then some.” I explain.

Natalie looks over her shoulder with knotted eyebrows, “And then some?”

I sigh, not really wanting to deal with this, “Either Kelsey, or Cindy, or some other fake instagram girl.”

The group bubbles with responses. Either defending, agreeing, or compromising. The chatter loud and obnoxious at this point. I sigh and roll my eyes like a complete brat. Which wasn’t normal. Yeah, I can be moody sometimes, so what? But being this bratty is on a whole other level.

I turn and leave, heading towards the kitchen to grab a drink. I get to the fridge and pull the door open. The cool air hits my face, allowing me to take a well needed deep breath. I open my eyes, my mood lifting a bit.

I scan the shelves for an appetizing beverage. And they land on the bottles of Coke. I grab one, taking the cap between my teeth and popping it off. One of my few talents. Not really a show, but people are still somehow amazed.

By now everyone had died down a bit and David walks over to where I’m sitting in the kitchen.

“Please come. Just this once. I’ll get you something.” He kissing up. I rolled my eyes with a knowing grin, sipping on my soda.

“Hmm…” I pretend, holding my chin in thought, “Anything?”

“Anything.”

====

I walk through the doorway with a large chocolate milkshake in hand. Already preparing for a night of anti-social-ness of sipping my shake. Everyone is greeted by hugs from whoever, while I stand towards the back of the group, near the wall. David is already out of sight, putting me on edge. I knew how these girls acting around David. I wasn’t a fan. It’s also part of the reason why I’m not around when they are.

Once the group dissipates throughout the house, I get a better look at who’s here. Stassie, the blonde one that’s best friends with Kylie Jenner. And Kelsey, the one from that one vlog with fake lips and botox. And then a few others I wasn’t too familiar with.

I was still by the door when everyone had gone to the living room. I follow quietly, walking into everyone scattered along the large couch. With no space to sit, I wander towards the kitchen. I peak around the corner, sipping my shake with my other arm hugging my waist. In the kitchen, people were fucking around on the stripper pole... A stripper pole in your kitchen? Odd. I squeeze by Zane, who was pretending to pole dance, and almost knocks me over.

“Could you be a bit more careful on that, Zane?” I speak up, stepping towards the counter.

“Alright, Momma Bear.” He jokes back, earning an eye roll from me as lean on the counter.

David nudges me lightly, asking, “You ok?” Camera in his hand, recording whatever is going on.

I let out a sarcastic laugh, “I wanna go home.” I say, grabbing his new disposable camera sitting on the counter between us. I mess with it a little, probably touching things I shouldn't be, a flash going off in my face.

I yelp, rubbing my eyes, David laughing next to me. I mock his laugh, something me and Natalie did all the time.

He laughs even more, then Stassie buds in.

“Hey, Y/n, right? You think you could snap a pic of me and Davey?”

“Sure.” I smile on the outside, groaning internally.

Stass stands next to Dave, wrapping her arms around him and kissing his cheek. David smiles but I could tell he’s uncomfortable.

So I make it quick and stand back with the camera in my hand and count down, “3, 2, 1.”

Click

I snap a picture of Stass kissing David. Not on the cheek like I thought she was. She had managed to kiss him on the lips, to which David and I both react.

“Woah! What the hell are you doing?” I push her away off of David as he turns away to wipe his mouth.

“What the fuck, Stass!” He says, almost as angry as I am. She just rolls her eyes, saying, “Like you didn’t enjoy it.”

And that’s what did it for me. My blood was boiling and my teeth clenched.

“What in your right mind made you think that was ok?” I yell, stepping closer to her. My yelling had caught everyone’s attention and they were all tuning in.

“It’s not! If this was the other way around and some random dude kissed you, you wouldn’t be too happy would you, Stass? Huh?” I continue, basically in her face.

“Y/n,” David tugs on my arm, “Maybe it’s time to go.”

Breathing deeply through my nose, I look him in the eyes. They were soft and pleading. I gave him an agreeing look, “Go ahead, I’ll meet you in the car.”

He gave me that pleading look again but listened. I turn back towards Stass and by now Kelsey had joined her side.

“If I ever catch you pulling shit like that again, your done for.” I threaten through clenched teeth. “You too.” I point to Kelsey.

I turn hard on my heel, stomping out of the house, milkshake and camera in hand. I get in the car, slamming the door just a bit too hard, making David look at me.

“Hey-“

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” I huff, putting the shake in a cup holder and dropping the camera in my lap.

====

When we got home, the first thing I did was throw away my hot, melted shake. David decided to get some editing done before having to go back to pick everyone up. He was in his bedroom, while I stood by the trash can in the kitchen.

“What a waste.” I mumble to myself, tossing it out and heading towards my room. I turn the corner and enter my room, falling onto my bed.

“Hey.” David pipes up from the other room.

“What?” I say into my sheets. After a few moments of silence I sigh and sit up. Through the new Black Mirror that was situated right in front of my doorway, David stared at me, leaning against the doorframe to his bedroom with his arms crossed.

I run a hand through my hair, “Are you mad at me?” I ask quietly. I watch him as he pushes off the frame and turns the corner, entering my room.

“No but-“ He sits next to me.

“But what?” I question, throwing myself back, laying down. David following suit, using his arm as a pillow.

“Why don’t you like them?” He asks, turning towards me.

I kept my gaze on the ceiling, “Cause, they only want to use you David. Can’t you see that?”

After a short pause, I spoke again.

“And… as your best friend, I feel the need to do something about it because it’s not right…..but we aren’t kids anymore and we’re all grown up.” I say getting teary eyed. I finally turn to look at him. His eyes glossy as well. He reaches for me and I lay on his chest, allowing him to play with my hair, engulfing me in his arms.

“And you know how I get...Especially with you.” I say, playing with my fingers.

"I know bub." He laughs sweetly, "But now it looks like I should be the one doing the protecting."

I shot up, testing him, "Just because you're a lot taller than me doesn't mean I still can't kick your ass." I laugh.

“Yeah?” He smiles.

“Oh, it’s on.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #253

hope everyone is staying safe through this quarantine. wash your hands.

Which band do you have more music of than anyone else on your computer? Ozzy. Who’s your favorite philosopher? *shrugs* I don't know any's ideals well. How old were you when you learned how to read? I'm not sure, but I know I was exceptionally young. What’s the coolest Halloween costume you’ve ever worn? I don't think I've ever worn something rather cool. Who’s your favorite painter/artist? If we're talking about well-known, "popular" artists, I'm not sure. Maybe DaVinci. What’s your favorite song lyric- ever? ARE YOU??????????? FOR REAL?????????? Holy FUCK I get goosebumps from lyrics SO easily, this is like impossible. Probably an Otep lyric, though. I really don't like her personally, but goddamn can she write. What’s your dream tattoo if you don’t have it already? I've linked it before, so I'll just remind it's "Denialism" by deviantART's NukeRooster on my entire, upper left arm. I've already gotten her permission (I don't like just... stealing artwork to put on my body), now just comes the day I can pay for it by a top-tier pro. What’s the coolest screen name you’ve ever had? I don't think any have been necessarily "cool." Who do you think was the most badass serial killer? (Real life.) I'm not well-versed in serial killers honestly, but I can say Charles Manson was a C A S E. I think we can all admit he was... interesting. Just the epitome of weird. Most badass fictional serial killer? ig Jason; again, I don't know a lot off the top of my head, but I like him. How many bank accounts do you have? I don't have one. Have you ever been falsely accused of starting drama? Yep. Have you ever found a song that describes your whole life? Parts of it, sure. What kind of car do you drive? I don't drive a car, but Mom's is a... Honda? Kia? Idk. I'm bad with car brands. What kind of car would you like to have? Average size, pretty simple. Burnt orange or red. I know I want one of those screens you look into to see what's behind you when backing up. Have you ever been to Dairy Queen? If so, what’s your favorite thing to eat from there? mmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. So unhealthy, but I will destroy and Oreo Cupfection. Try. That. Stuff. Their milkshakes are also great. Which website do you email from? Outlook. Do you enjoy receiving souvenirs? Sure, it's nice. Have you ever had the flu? No. What about strep throat? Maybe once? Do you normally have a lot of homework, if you’re still in school? Kinda, yeah. Did you ever enjoy gym class? Fuck no. Even when I was healthy. What is your biggest insecurity? My body. Have you ever painted a room alone? No. How many huge secrets do you have? Huge? Uhhh, none, I think. Have you ever painted something and been impressed by it? Yes. Would you rather go out to eat or stay in? I prefer eating out because yummy food, but considering I'm working on losing weight, I avoid it. Do you have any younger siblings? One. Have you ever considered bleaching your hair? To the point of being snow white. Considering my hair is super healthy and bleaching so heavily would destroy it, I'll be avoiding that. I DO want to bleach my hair to do other colors, though. Brown hair sucks. Do you drink vitamin water? No. Are there any old movies you absolutely love? Oh sure, a good handful. The Outsiders probably tops it. Have you ever had a Big Mac before? No, doesn't appeal to me. I don't like veggies on my burgers... despite eating veggie burgers when I was vegetarian lmao. Do you think you attract the opposite sex at a reasonable rate? I doubt that. Have you ever filed a lawsuit on someone? No. Do you enjoy reading often? I'm finally back into it!! Lately all I've been wanting to do is READ READ READ. Have you ever had a deadly illness? Well, I consider depression (among other mental illnesses) to be very deadly, but on a literal level, no. I mean I have dormant MRSA, which can kill if active, but it never has been. Most people carry that dormantly anyway, if I remember correctly. Ever had food-poisoning before? No, thankfully. Where did you last eat dinner at? Mom bought Nicole and me Sonic. Have you ever had someone pick you up off the ground & carried you? When I fainted, yes. Are you a flirty person? Not really. A name you hate with a passion? Edward, to name one. Erwin. A lot of old names. What is your favorite type of water (ex. arrowhead)? Essentia mmmmmmmmmmmmm,, Have you ever been to Warped Tour? I WISH. :( Do you know anyone who wears fur? I fucking hope not, because I wouldn't associate with them anymore. When was the last time you were on myspace.com? Damn yo, millennia ago. How often do you cuss? Too much. I mean, I don't even believe "profanity" is a thing by our definition of "that word is magically bad," but still, it's like when people say "like" too much. Have you ever cussed out a teacher? No. What did you think of the movie Juno? I never watched it. How often do you eat meat? Sigh, more than I wish. What grade did you meet your best friend in? We didn't meet in school. Last time you cleaned your room? Couple days back. I'm honestly bad at dusting regularly in here, but that's gotta change with Mom having chemo now. Her immune system will be compromised so this house needs to be as pristine as it can. When you were little, would you have rather watched Cartoon Network or Disney Channel? Disney Channel. We weren't really Cartoon Network kids, actually. It was Disney or Nickelodeon. Do you shave your arms? No. Are you a big fan of the Harry Potter series? Never read a book, never watched any movies; the first one was playing in my presence once, but I paid no attention. How often would say you pulled all-nighters, if you ever do? Shit man, never, nowadays. I don't think I've had one for two years now. My youth is escaping. Has a friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend ever had a problem with you for any reason? I don't think so. How many times a day do you find yourself cracking your joints, if at all? Maybe not even once a day. Only my big toes and upper back can pop. Is there a particular sport you follow on a regular basis? No. Are you 100% over the last person you kissed? No. Do you put ketchup on top of your french fries or on the side? On the side. Who was the last person you talked to in person? Mom. Do you have a dog? Not anymore, thank fuck. Do you like orange juice? Yes. Are you one of those people who obsesses over Hollister? I never liked it. They're not inclusive at all towards fucking NORMAL bodies, nevermind plus size. Apparently even their rules on looks for workers are absolutely horrible. Ashley liked them though, so sometimes I just had to go in with her. If money was no object, would you change your wardrobe? My goth could finally  E S C A P E. How do you/did you get to school? My mom drives me. Have you ever had to have a pet put down? Four times that I remember off the top of my head. What candy cane flavor is your favorite? MMMMMMMMMM get the pink Starburst kind. Do you get angry when fast food restaurants mess up your order? It's annoying, yes. Angering when you've already driven away, especially when you really wanted something. What was your favorite elective class in high school? Art. Did you ever wish you could be homeschooled? Yes. I was homebound for a little while. Have you ever had a dream so realistic you could’ve sworn it happened? Yes. Do you have any mental disorders? I'm a walking mental disorder, lmao. Y'all know the biggies, and now ADD and especially DPD (dependent personality disorder) are being considered. Do you feel comfortable talking about these disorders, if you have them? Yeah, I really don't care. Where did you go on your last field trip? I want to say to a band competition in high school. Are you able to agree to disagree? Or do you have to have the last word? Yeah, pretty easily. Is there a cover song you like better than the original version? A whole lot, actually. Do you have a hard time talking about sex with the opposite gender? I have a hard time with anyone. Have you ever had major surgery? Major, no. Is there any food you don’t like that a lot of others do? Here in the South, everyone is most surprised when they hear I hate fried chicken. What was the last thing you bragged about? Hm. I'm not sure, actually. I don't make a habit out of doing that. Can you do a backflip? Hell no. Are you listening to anything right now? I have a video up of relaxing tracks from Silent Hill 2 + 3. Great shit. Has anyone ever tried to tell you you were adopted? No. How many doors are in the room you’re in? Two, but one's just the closet door. Have you ever been engaged and broke it off? No. Has anyone ever drawn a picture of you? Yes. Do any of your friends have children? Yep. Is there anything you’re craving right now? Not really. Who got married at the last wedding you attended? A family friend. It was the second wedding I shot. Is happiness something to be achieved and sought after or is it something to be retained and held onto always, no matter what happens? The former. You can't just stay happy when, like, your grandma dies. What gives you a peaceful feeling? Nature. Hearing water and birdsong, specifically. Are you a Toys-R-Us kid? Hell yeah I was. My sisters and I would go crazy if we had the chance to go there. We were SOOOO upset when it closed down. If you believe in Heaven, are there separate heavens for different animals (kittie heaven. dog heaven, bird heaven, etc)? I don't know if I believe in a "heaven," but some sort of peace after death, yes. I believe it's one, unified "heaven." When you sleep next to someone do they fall asleep first usually or do you? They always do considering it takes me ten years to fall asleep. If they do, do you watch them sleep? I have. Not in a creepy way, but rather a "wow I love this person" sorta way. What is your usual breakfast? Usually apple and cinnamon oatmeal What do your salt and pepper shakers look like? They're nothing special. The salt is a blue ceramic, and the pepper one is just what you get from the store. Have you ever had your car towed? I've never had my own car. What band or singer do you believe started rock and roll? I'm pretty sure Elvis is given that credit. Whose voice irritates you like fingernails on a blackboard? The female singer of Mother Mother's voice. Mom and I can't stand her singing. All I songs we enjoy feature almost solely the main singer. I can *tolerate* it in some songs, but. What do you contribute to society? Ha. Do you take naps? Almost daily. Do you have any cavities? Not to my knowledge. Do you believe that there has been a man on the moon? Yes, though I do believe the "first" landing was faked in competition with Russia. It sounds ridiculous, but I'm so serious, look into the theory - there's incredible evidence. Would you ever go into a sex shop? I'd be too self-conscious to. I'd just order online. Let’s just say your school team is on a winning streak. One of the cheerleaders cheers both for your team and the other team during games. Does it make you angry? I don't care enough about sports to even consider how I'd feel. Do you prefer carnivals, festivals, circuses, parades or faires? To be real, I only know the difference between parades and circuses. What even distinguishes the other three from each other. Do you believe in psychic ability or is it a sham? I lean towards no. What is your favorite classic rock song? You CANNOT ask me this question. Classic rock is some of the best music there is.

[peevishmandible]

OH BOY! Ok I’m really excited because my son is finally sleeping in a bit. Sleeping in means sleeping till like, 7 for him and not getting up at 5 or 6. OR 4. My god, no wonder he’s been having trouble in school.  Which is a whole thing right now. I have two and a half days before a Monday conference in which I am going to have to go hard to advocate for him, change the language and direction of the proposed individualized education plan his teacher has put forward with some really negative language, and to call her to TASK about some really unprofessional and downright abusive shit shit pulled with my son last week. I know I”m in the right, I know I’m righteously angry, and I am going to arrive prepared so that I don’t forget what I need to say and seem weak nor get all FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT-Y the way I do when I feel threatened - PTSD IS SO MUCH FUN!  So that’s a thing. UGH.  So, Hallowe’en happened! It was fun! I didn’t ace it - we’re broke this year because of issues (But that will change in three weeks! Husband just negotiated a good raise hurray!) so decorations were... well. Non existant. And my children, bless them, totally were fine with home made costumes - the only thing we bought was a can of black hair dye for my daughter (which she didn’t use) and a pair of Harry Potter glasses and a wand for my son (who ended up going to his class and trick or treating in his Tiger Pjs). So that was just like 10 bucks maybe? Plus some candy I got to hand out. They were super happy. I did make it special by being able to have two of her friends over for makeup and trick or treating, and her best buddy got to sleep over, go to school with her the next day, and come back for the afternoon to watch movies and make slime and eat candy. My son had a great time, too - that kiddo is a good egg and isn’t the type of older child who excludes or even picks on younger siblings but genuinely loves on him. It was REALLY nice and I feel so good about it all.  So, in October I turned 34 (and as per my wishes none of my family said anything or even knew, except my mother who texted me and she can go fuck herself), my father had his birthday and I didn’t melt down and my mother knew better than to ask me to call him which was SMART, and my brother lived to see his 33rd birthday. I feel... like a big sigh of relief has been sighed. I love October. I do. It’s my favourite time of year. It’s also ruined by anxiety and grief and anger every damn year for the last many many years. Which sucks. But hopefully will get better.  Thing is? I stopped texting my mum. Completely. She can still see my IG, and I have emailed her weekly pictures of the kids along with my grandmother. Who never calls or emails me but always bitches that I don’t call her. WHATEVER.  Point is, I stopped. I don’t talk to her, and I went completely silent for about 15 days. I sent her a picture of them by text on Hallowe’en night because I would have felt bad if I’d not done that but that was - and will be - it. She was a total dick to me several times during the shit going down with my brother and I broke down so many times. Talking to her NEVER makes me feel good. It doesn’t even leave me neutral anymore, it always makes me feel some degree of shit and so... I mean I just can’t with her anymore and I have told myself that I am not responsible for how that makes her feel. I’m not. I don’t want that burden and I won’t hurt myself anymore because of it.  AND YA’LL, I FEEL SO GOOD.  I feel so good about not talking to her, not hearing from her. I feel so much better with her out of my life even more. Not panicky, not guilty, not angry or vindictive or petty (and I can be vindictive and petty and I can OWN that shit just fine in some circumstances but in others they are harmful feelings and I’m glad I don’t feel them in this case). But I’m so much happier when I don’t hear from her or talk to her, when I don’t interact with her at all.  That says things about her, not me. Or at least AS WELL AS me. I’ve tried. I’ve tried and I am not doing it anymore.  I hope she enjoyed their birthdays and the fact that she can go fuck herself on mine. She doesn’t get to say Happy Birthday to me anymore. She has lost that privilege just like I’ve lost my mother because of her choices. She and my father are the reason I find no joy and only grief and anxiety and shame on my birthday and while she will never understand, or acknowledge that - and I have to accept that she won’t - she has to live with the consequences of it just like I do. I’m not making things better for her any of them just to make them feel more comfortable.  Good bye October 2019.  November, you’re up. Let’s do this. 

[wannawrite]

not my type

who?: Wanna One’s Ong Seongwoo genre: 🌸 type: bullet point

blog navigator.

University! AU 

you don’t date younger guys

but you just might ;)

thanks for requesting! this was quite difficult to write since I am a child still lol. Do note that Seongwoo is 20 in this work of fiction. ⁃ admin l

disclaimer: pictures used do not belong to me and credit goes to their original owners everything that is written here is purely fictional DO NOT READ IF TRIGGERING

~

so,,,your love life 

not that exciting 

in fact, it is facing a drought at the moment 

reality is harsh huh? 

or maybe it is because of your high standards 

1. No younger guys 

2. Must be a nice person 

3. Someone I could foresee marrying 

but none of your blind dates left you impressed

and then there’s this kid from the music block called Ong Seongwoo 

he’s just one of the guys trying to worm his way into your ‘possible boyfriend’ list 

scarily enough, his tactics were working

~

we gon throw this waayyy back when y’all met 

frat parties were never your thing

in fact, f*ck linda and this stupid party, I just want to go home and sleep 

you love your roommate and all but you couldn’t help but curse her out 

after all, she had dragged you to this party thrown by one of the music department frat guys 

and left you stranded 

in a hallway with at least 3 couples passionately making out 

tonight was not your night at all 

you hated the loud, shitty music and the smell of sweat and liquor 

appalling 

but linda was your ride here and there was a slim chance of hailing a cab right now 

you had no choice but to suck it up and rough it out 

Another issue

you needed to finish that essay on sustainable fashion before the 6am deadline 

shit 

gr8 job prof 

all-nighter? 

borrow a laptop from someone and do it now? 

what the hell 

which person would bring a laptop to a frat party? 

unless you can break into one of their rooms and take one??1?1?11

you almost slap yourself at the idea

dumb worried bitch energy 

sis is out of ideas and just wants to graduate be a little empathetic, folks 

you want to sit down on the floor and sink into a puddle of goo 

oh no 

there’s no way you are going to maintain this 3.9 GPA lmaoo

you move to wrestle Linda away from one of the frat guys 

but hollers and cheers stop you

a group of guys block your path as they welcome yet another friend 

but get this! the newcomer has a laptop case in his hands!! 

he appears to have just come from a lecture or meeting 

bUT HE HAS A LAPTOP YAYAYAYAYA

now, all you had to do was to stalk him, suck up to him and steal borrow the device 

sucking up to one of these frat boys was easy 

their brains had been bruised with bud lights so they weren’t the brightest of the bunch 

before you know it, he’s whisked away by his friends and dissolved into the crowd 

crap 

you really, genuinely, wholly, need this laptop 

They would help a fellow college student in need, right?

left with no choice, you elbow your way through  

I suppose your efforts pay off 

bc you catch him as he’s headed upstairs 

barely 

“hey!” you yell over the noise. “I-I...” 

the mystery guy only stares, quizzically 

suddenly, you’ve lost all ability to form coherent sentences 

this is embarrassing!

hE JUST LOOKING 

sis gotta calm down 

remember the real reason: laptop

“c-can i borrow your laptop real quick? I have a d-deadline tonight” 

mystery boy says nothing 

...

“What’s it in for me? If i lend you my laptop?”

he tries to remain serious but the corners of his mouth are tugging up

sneaky

desperation is pretty much flooding your body 

you wld say f*ck it but you can’t 

“I’ll owe you a favour!” you blurt out thoughtlessly. 

*crickets chirping* 

hope is slowly beginning to fade and your brain is coming up with extension excuses 

just crumbs,,,anything

Orbits gg thru with the drought

when he goes 

“okay”

JESUS THANK YOU 

he beckons for you to follow him 

oh?😏😉

“I know a better work environment than here.” 

oh. 

“What’s your name? I’m y/n, it’s my third year.” 

“Woah, third year? my name’s ong seongwoo. I just got here.” 

huh, freshman 

seongwoo doesn’t say much after

he leads you to a common study area in the enormous fraternity house 

you turn away as he sets up the laptop and everything bc privacy!!!

but the number of brain cells you have left won’t allow you to remember his login details anyway 

“thanks,” you murmur bashfully 

well, this is an expected and rather awkward situation 

seongwoo plants himself in the chair a few seats away from yours 

he pulls out study materials from his backpack 

??? hello? sis, u shld be enjoying the party downstairs ???

you try to shift your fullest attention on your project 

but!! his presence alone is so loud prominent, it’s giving you a hard time keeping your eyes off😔🤧

anyway u manage to suck it up and finish paper and submit it just in time! 

a miracle 

maybe he is your angel ;)

you turn to face him and,,,seongwoo has fallen asleep!! on his books!! 

his hair is slightly tousled and his glasses rest askew on his face 

papers flap in his face but he’s too gone to care 

the poor child is tired 

💓💖💕soft hours💕💖💓: open

gently, you tap his shoulder 

“seongwoo? hey, um, your laptop,” 

he only stirs the 2nd time you call him

Cute

groggily, he covers his face and speaks into his hands 

he mumbles something about ‘dealing with it later’

you figure it would be best if you left him alone to nap 

suddenly, seongwoo grabs your arm 

at least, he reaches for it

“I need your number to claim that favour.” 

my number ????

for half a second, your heart does pitter patters 

he’s only being objective though...

and it was you who suggested it in the first place 

sighing, you punch your number into his phone 

“okay, but use it wisely and...try not to...call or text so much...”

that sounds rlly mean >:( 

“yeah i’ll keep that in mind.” 

there’s an underlying layer of...cheekiness? in seongwoo’s tone 

your brain jumps to the first conclusion it can think of 

“I don’t date younger guys, Seongwoo,” 

rEGRET FILLS YOUR ENTIRE BEING IMMEDIATELY AFTER 

now, Seongwoo looks up and beams broadly 

“Bold of you to assume I’m interested,” he taunts playfully 

red sinks into your face and you defend yourself in splutters 

“I’m not interested in general! I’m prioritising my studies and everything else! It was just to make sure you know where we stand-“ 

futile, really 

“relax,” he replies. “Just saying, I could change your mind.” 

Cocky 

but true lol

an amused scoff leave your lips and your arms go akimbo

“I’d like to see you try, freshman.” 

~

*back to the present* 

You: really, Seongwoo. I don’t see why you can’t drop by the printing station yourself 

Seongwoo: you are seated RIGHT NEXT to it. Just fold the papers into aeroplanes and fly them over 

You: a 15-page research paper ?? That clearly says ‘do not bend’ 

Seongwoo: ignore it. Throw it over 

you never predicted this was where life would take you 

here you were, sat in the library, the table by the printing room 

and Seongwoo was seated a few tables away, texting you to collect his freshly printed document

just because 

You: Oh my god shut up you’ll get points deducted if your paper is the least bit crumpled 

You: i’ll just bring it over 

so,,,you did 

you brought seongwoo’s papers over to his table 

he had been watching from afar, lips pulled into a dumb smile

“thank you, senior.” 

boy had the audacity to say that in front of your salad 

just to tease him, you reply: 

“yeah, senior, just how I like my future boyfriend.” 

with that remark, the smile slips off seongwoo’s face and his jaw clenches

but he tries to play it off all cool😎🤧

you shoot the sweetest smile you can muster before skipping back to your table 

*beep beep*

I nearly put vibrate -

Seongwoo: that doesn’t count as using my favour card! 

your head shakes, but your mouth smiles 

it was no secret that seongwoo had a small! crush on you 

even if it was, everyone knew 

his whole frat and most of his seniors 

your friends and roommates 

the whole bloody campus 

this relationship started out with seongwoo following you on ig

then occasionally dropping a text and wishing you well 

he also hyped up all your pics 

and said hi whenever you bumped into each other 

it escalated to meeting up for brunch or a movie 

just...as friends, casually 

but you enjoyed his company and goofing around much more than some blind dates 

now, texting him was a regular 

going out was common 

and you haven’t even counted the number of times you guys met at social events 

sometimes, he made you feel so✨ special, precious, wanted by doing the smallest things 

like a tea on your table 

or going the extra mile to cheer you up 

most of the time at the expense of his handsome face 

he was always,,,there

you did find out about his feelings, though he never addressed them fully

it was fun!! to press his buttons as a friend 

“yeah idk abt dating someone younger. Wbu?” 

“Hmm. Senior year makes everyone 10x hotter.” 

thOSE WERE JOKES 

BANTER, PEOPLE, BANTER 

but...you weren’t certain if that would turn into something more 

you know, you hadn’t given dating someone younger a thought 

it never crossed your mind 

maybe it was a subconscious deal breaker 

you were always quick to bring age into making deals 

old broken deals could be made new 

the concept was incredibly foreign 

my boyfriend? younger? 

Personally, you could never see that happen 

b-but seongwoo made you sO DAMN HAPPY ALL THE TIME 

there was sunshine in his smiles

and starlight in his eyes 

ᵕ꒳ᵕ

uGh fEELINGS 

but is this attraction? 

Eventually, after many sleepless nights, up thinking about this, you made up your mind

If he made a move first, 

bc ur scared 

you would be hella open to dating him 

f*ck that ‘older people only’ rule 

(⁄˘⁄ ⁄ ω⁄ ⁄ ˘⁄)♡

[3.06am] seongwoo leaves a voicemail. He says, “hey, will you go on a date with me? I like you.”

[3.14am] seongwoo leaves another voicemail. “I’ll use my favour card if I have to. Just give me a chance.” 

anD HOLY F*CK YOU DON’T knOW HOW TO ACT AFTER HEARING THOSE 

RIGHT WHEN YOU WAKE UP 

yOur heaRT IS FLUTTERING AND YOU CAN FEEL THE BLUSH COMING 

UGH SWEETHEART YOU GOT IT BAD 

so u jump on this bandwagon and call him asap 

it goes straight to voicemail but you don’t leave one 

hehe

you know,,,to build suspense 

all day long, that’s all you can think about 

SeoNGWOO LIKES ME?

~

[8.17am] seongwoo wakes up to a silent voicemail from you 

he doesn’t know what to think of it 

he dials your number with shaking hands and before you can utter a word, he rushes, “meet me at xxx cafe at 11am” 

then hangs up 

Tumblr: 101 cafe date outfit ideas

Seongwoo arrives early and orders a drink while waiting 

he also picks out a window booth to sit at 

his nerves could eat him alive if they teamed up 

what would you say to him? 

how badly did you react to his 3am confession 

getting mildly intoxicated on Daniel’s stash was a horrible idea

he spilt all his secret uwus

the bell chimes 

and all his attention is focused on you 

your eyes land on him 

a smile graces your face as you walk over 

“I like you too.” 

“Damn, you better not be messing with me right now,” seongwoo nervously chuckles. “I know I sent you th-“ 

“Oh my god! I like you!” 

For a moment, his smart mouth runs dry, surprised 

“Oh wow, what happened to your older guys only rule?”

You smack his chest in mock annoyance

“Rules are made to be broken! Let’s not talk about that.” You turn various shades of red 

Grinning like the Chesire cat, Seongwoo teases, “And that’s the beauty of it.” 

[cazador99]

The best mistake I've ever made.

So maybe this is the last thing I'll write for you, of you. I say maybe because 😂 sometimes when I get in my feelings I need to write. Maybe you'll see this, maybe you won't.. here it goes.

I had put up with ALL of your lies and bullshit, even up to this day. I was patient. I showed you love. Yet, I found myself questioning my self worth or wondering why I wasn't good enough. But I was thinking about it all wrong. I wasn't the problem, it was you. You're the one who did everything in your power to put me down and belittle me. You are the one who cannot be pleased or content with one person. But i cannot bame only you. I let you get in my head and fuck me up. I thought you were healing me but you were only broke me more. I take responsibility for allowing you to say and do things to me that would have been emotionally abusing me. I was filled with so much anger and pain that I was willing to do anything to get back at you that it made me blind to the pain and anger that I was causing other people. People whom I care about and had no intention of hurting at all. Fuck! I hurt them so bad that I don't even think it's fixable. So I'm distancing myself and hoping the best for them. That's all I really can do. They actually called me out on my shit and it really shook me. And I needed that. They told me things that really made me question myself. It also made me realise how fucking toxic I was becoming. How much of a negative person I was becoming.. AFTER. (Psht you broke up with me because of negativity? Oh please. I was reciprocating the energy I was receiving.) I don't know why things happen the way they do but there's a reason. I'll always believe there's a reason for everything. I was told that i wasn't in love with you and that hurt, because I know that I was. And I was. I mean, you don't give people that you don't love, the power to destroy you. In my case over and over again. And geez! I gave so many chances. But, the point is I was completely in love with you, a long time ago. I'll never understand why but what they said after made sense. They said I didn't want to let go. I didn't know how to. That part of this has been my fault cause i keep repeating the cycle. And it was true. It's always been the same pattern every time. Another thing was I didn't want to believe that someone I adored and knew for all these years and had so much history with, hurt me to this extent. And sometimes I'm sad or I cry because, I may not be in love with you anymore my baby, but I do love you, I still do care but in different way. The reason I get sad or cry is because I know you dont feel anything like that for me anymore. You couldn't cry for me or over me because your feelings had already faded. I do believe once we were both in love with each other. Maybe that's me being dumb but, once, there was love. It's gone now but I will remember it forever. And you'll be the greatest lesson I've ever learnt.. there are more lessons for me in the future of course. But I know, once I could get over you and this pain. I can get over anything.

I'd like to be friends you know, best friends like before, but I don't think you care to be friends anyway. Besides, anything I tell you will never stay between us anymore. There's always someone you'll tell my secrets to, someone you'll go to babbling things I tell you out of confidant. So if acquaintances, then let it be. You were my very best friend you know, steups and it hurts even more now because losing a friend is way worse than losing a boyfriend/lover. Maybe one day we can be like that again. But life will go on as it always does. As it should. I will admit I'm scared to move on but it's all for the best. Change is inevitable. I've ways known that. But it can sometimes be scary. I still have so many pictures with us. I find it hard to bring myself to delete them so I made a whole new Snap account aha. Pretty sure you've cleared your stuff by now. And that's good! You were always better at letting it all go. What really sucks though is that my Da doesn't even check up on me. I was also told that i shouldn't even save that part of me for you but how could I not? We both grew into it and learned about it together. 😌 if it's one thing I really do hope you're honest when you say I'll be your only. I guess I did try looking for a CG but where the hell am I gonna find one? unless I parade around little. 😂 but no, I guess that part of me will now always be closeted and only for my IG page. Sometimes I question myself.. did that stupid "spell" really break? But it did, I know it did. You crushed me. This is just the after effects. The withdrawal symptoms. Sigh. Really wish I could've talked to you like normal. But you proved to me that anything I tell you will reach other people. No matter if the things I said was true or not. I wish you luck with your shrink. And well, you know, it goes without saying; I'm always here... But I know you won't need me. I just like to hope there'll be a day where you maybe just want a hug or something lol.

This turned out longer than it should be. Aha. What happens when I get carried away.

Love ya, Dada.

[bottom-bradley]

Tradley confirmed. Tris just said he does not like "pussy" and Brad laughs so heartedly knowing that Tris likes his dick instagram(.)com/p/BXJe57eFUUh/

Old 2016 interview. Tradley moments 1:57 onwards. They say they’ve bought a house together too. Just look at their chemistry youtu(.)be/j82T518ggmI

Anastasia was listening to “Asido” by Purity Ring yesterday. Such a dark song. She feels lonely even when Tris lives under the same roof as her genius(.)com/Purity-ring-asido-lyrics

2:16 Tradley youtu(.)be/RzErCuyiXKw

Brad placing his hand across Tris at a casual get together plus they are eating the same stuff instagram(.)com/p/BXNeyXSBWdu/

Maybe Tris and Ana are an actual relationship afterall cos she took Millie (Tristans younger sister) shopping. She’ll be getting brownie points for that I guess from Tris. Sigh.

If Bradley asked Tristan to leave/break up Anastasia for him do you think he’d do it?

“In the middle of the night…. I need you” -Brad to Tris.

I realised something. You know back during the Meet The Vamps era, Tradley used to wear like matching bracelets/bands on their wrist (almost identical) and this is when Brad would sit on Tristans lap etc. Fast forward to know Tris wears this pandora bracelet on his wrist indentical to what Anastasia wears. Bradley does not wear anything on his wrist no more. I feel sad now. If only Ana could see what Tradley shippers see.

This magazine is Tradley af instagram(.)com/p/BXRF2oUHddB/

Anastasia needs to really think before she types. Shes basically talking for Tristan as well and saying that they’ve both been working to much so she can’t wait to go somewhere warm with him. I saw her ig story a week ago where she was booking vacation tickets for like the 9th August. I doubt Tris sees his job as “work”. Does she not see how chilled out and happy he is around Brad and the boys? Ana does not understand Tris 1 bit. twitter(.)com/AnastasiaSmith_/status/892688028875067392

I found this (newish) interview and it has so many Tradley moments. Tristans reaction when Brad has to name famous blondes, Brad making musical instrument noises and Tris saying he likes it, Tris tickling and poking Brad towards the end after he makes him lose a point lol youtu(.)be/YyF0MN_T4ec

I’d love to see Anastasia sit through and watch a Tradley moments video. Afterall it is 5 years of Tradley tommorow. I think she’d have a change of heart.

This gives me Klaine wedding feels but its Tradley. The most perfect couple twitter(.)com/DoseOfTradley/status/892725135681212416 twitter(.)com/DoseOfTradley/status/892725063857954822

Jonnor have come as Tradleys best men to the wedding twitter(.)com/radIytradley/status/892726536721137664

Brad helping Millie put on some of his photoshoot clothes while Tris records. This is so cute instagram(.)com/p/BXSxT0VgqQ9/

Anastasia posted a pic of her with a wedding dress on on her sc with the caption “Getting married” :“(

False alarm. On her ig story shes saying she has a two day bridal photoshoot. Phew lol

Gabe, an hour ago Brad on his spotify was listening to Tristans "Come Grind With Me” ASDFGHJKLO TRADLEY IS FOCKING REAL twitter(.)com/DoseOfTradley/status/893449242123137024

It dawned on me last night maybe Tris is actually in love with his Megan Fox lookalike gf? I don’t feel like anybody could stop Tris from getting Brad if he really wanted to date/marry him. It took me a lot of strength to type this as I am a Day One Tradley Shipper.

Tris and Ana are going to Morroco next week. Maybe its time for me to accept that they are in love with each other afterall. Its sad though cos this “love” is one of convience and body heat. It’ll never be as pure and cute as Tradley.

Anastasia is really bipolar. I don’t get Tris anymore too. Sometimes she posts pics of her and Tris kissing and sharing a bath etc. and just now shes uploaded a pic on her story where Tris has his back against her as if he does not want to be there. Its too late now for him to stay anonymous/away from her cos hes on her TL but the funny thing is I can bring out a identical Tradley pic to whatever pic Ana has with her and Tris in on her TL.

I don’t support any band atm. Its too much stress. I’d like to see Tris ditch Ana for Brad but doubt thats gonna happen. I would chose happiness over social status/who society expects a drummer to date. Ana seems like a girl whos won the lottery… he takes her on holidays, buys her new appartments every couple of years, cooks for her, takes most of her selfies when hes home, probably fingers her too. I guess Brad will find someone who’ll treat him better than Tris.

This is a beautiful Tradley ig account to follow instagram(.)com/p/BXGWR5NDQkJ/

If you look at Brads story, Jesse is sleeping on his lap and hes put the caption “mood”. Now the mood of the picture could evoke being tired, sleepy, worn out, rejected etc. It so happens that yesterday evening was the day Ana and Tris set off for their holiday to Morroco. Its not fair on Brad. If I had a bff like Brad I’d take him over Ana. Tris is so stupid. His silence speaks volumes. Why is he making Brad suffer? So much for “Tradley”.

I feel like Tris is gonna celebrate his birthday with Ana in Morroco which sucks tbh. Just more proof that hes putting Brad last on the priority list. I think last year Brad rang Tris and wished him happy birthday rather than tweeting him which comes across a lot more genuine/personal. This was when Brad was on holiday I think to Cyprus and he did a fb livestream from there and told fans he rang Tris and wished him.

See they met 3 yrs ago during the MTVs shoot instagram(.)com/p/m8DDUSEgKK The only pic she has of Brad was from that day when Tradley was at a all high instagram(.)com/p/m7sNIhEgBO Probably their first ever selfie together instagram(.)com/p/m7slZDEgBu

Bradley seems to air thrust a lot on stage. Is he practicing on Tris lol

Tris bought Dobby two years ago.

Damn. Tris really moved hella fast when he noticed Ana was trying to take a mirror selfie in her bikini. Why does he not want to be seen with her?

It looks like Tris was spooning Brad and James was third wheeling lol. This is quite recent too cos its only from June 2017 twitter(.)com/LuciaaCarpenter/status/876030373553164288 twitter(.)com/wardley_hannah/status/876545920489467909/photo/1

½ A lot of my mutuals on twitter and ig have started shipping Ana and Tris and are I find it quite annoying. I know Tris takes most of her pics and records the ig stories but thats cos hes there with her and thats his job. Seeing Tris freak out when he saw Ana recording a ig story just goes to show that he does not want to be seen in public with Ana. Its just not natural bf behaviour. Tris is supposed to be loved up but he always seems uneasy around her cos we all know when Tris likes someone2/2 e.g. Brad, then Tris does not care if the camera is on or not… hes kissed and touched Brad many times in interviews. Hes even picked up Brad, bridal style on red carpets and thats published forever for the world to see. If Tradley was just “act” they should have dropped it by now seeing as they have a #1 album but its not. Even BTS Tradley interactions are cute and genuine af. The magic is still there. I don’t see any btw that so called gf and Tris. I’m sorry but I don’t.

[imagineteamfreewill]

What He Never Had - Part 5

Title: What He Never Had

Pairing: Reader x Sam

Word Count: 2,107

Warnings: Witches/spells

Summary: Sam Winchester has a history of his relationships ending poorly, something you didn’t know when you hooked up with him the next morning. After something goes very wrong the next morning, he has the option to right the wrong and let you go, or hope that you can still reciprocate the feelings he has for you when all is the way it’s supposed to be. Your time together would change both of your lives forever, but it’s up to Sam as to whether the change would happen at all.

A/N: Most of this is told from Sam’s POV, but some is from the reader’s perspective. It takes place in Season 12; however, this story diverges from canon. For the sake of this fic, please ignore the season’s timeline and major plot.

What He Never Had Masterlist

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Sam was getting out of the shower when he heard Y/N scream. He threw a towel around his waist and grabbed his gun, bolting out into the motel room as quickly as possible. Cas was standing beside the TV stand, while Y/N was pressed against the wall. Her laptop laid haphazardly on the bed’s comforter and the movie she was watching still playing on the dimmed screen. Sam relaxed when he realized it was only Cas, then let his arm drop back down to his side as he clicked the gun’s safety back on.

“S— Sam? What’s going on?” Y/N stammered, fear making her eyes wide. Sam carefully made his way over to her, setting the gun on the second bed in the room. He held the towel around his waist with one hand and held his other out for her to take. She took it, her eyes still focused on Castiel as she hesitantly peeled herself away from the wall.

“It’s okay, Y/N. He’s a friend, his name is Cas. I’ll explain everything in a minute, okay? He’s not going to hurt either one of us. I promise,” Sam added, keeping his voice soothing. Y/N slowly looked up at him and he nodded encouragingly. She swallowed and then sat down on the edge of the bed. After he was sure she wasn’t going to pass out from fright or make a run for it, Sam turned to Cas with a threatening glare. He had warned his friend that Y/N still didn’t know about angels. Cas had apparently forgotten the part of the conversation where he agreed to not pop in while she was present.

“What are you doing here, Cas? We talked about this,” Sam said. He kept his voice so Y/N wouldn’t get more upset, but he wished he could yell at Cas for frightening her. She’d been through enough already.

“Sam, the woman that you asked me about is a witch. Her name is Violet Martin. The Grand Coven banished her centuries ago for the misuse of her powers,” Cas relayed, not once looking Y/N’s way. “She’s powerful, and very good at hiding. The spell she placed on Y/N won’t harm her. I’ve found the spell itself, but nothing to reverse it. I’m sorry, Sam. I’ll keep looking. Rowena might know something, if you want to ask her.” Sam took the yellowed paper Cas held out to him and sighed, nodding.

“Thanks, Cas. You uh, you should go. I need to talk to Y/N…” Sam trailed off, glancing at her. She was picking at her nails again. It had been three weeks since they spell had first been cast, and in that time he’d been taking as many mental notes as he could on Y/N. He knew her routines, favorite foods, facial expressions, and anxious habits. Picking her nails was the most prominent habit, but it was only one of a few. Cas disappeared with the sound of a flapping sheet and Y/N flinched. Her head jerked up to see where he had gone, and after a brief moment she was standing, eyes meeting Sam’s.

“What’s going on, Sam? Where did he go? What were you two talking about? Witches? Spells?” Y/N’s voice kept getting higher pitched with each question and Sam bit down on his lip. He didn’t know where to start. It was bad enough that Cas had appeared out of nowhere and then mentioned witches, but now she knew that there was a spell on her. That was enough to make anybody panic.

“Let’s sit down, Y/N. I’ll explain everything. Just let me get some clothes on first, okay?” She watched him anxiously and then nodded. Her eyes flicked over his still-wet form as she slowly sat down.

Sam went into the bathroom and changed. When he came out, she was sitting in the same spot, her leg bouncing up and down—another one of her restless habits. She looked up when he walked out of the bathroom with his travel bag and he noticed that her eyes were filled with tears. Quickly, he went over and sat beside her, taking her hand.

“Just tell me what’s going on, Sam. Please. That— That man said there’s a spell on me?” Her voice shook and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath.

“Yes. There’s a spell on you. I… I wasn’t going to tell you. I didn’t want you to get hurt, but maybe I should’ve told you anyway. I know what it’s like to find out that everything you’ve believed isn’t real and… And I’m sorry,” Sam said, looking at the floor. He didn’t want to see the hurt on her face. He was already feeling guilty enough.

“What kind of spell? Am I going to die? What’s he talking about? What’s not real?” Y/N pulled her hand from his grasp, moving to stand again. Sam reached out and stopped her with a hand on her forearm, hoping that she would listen to him long enough for him to finish explaining.

“You’re not going to die, Y/N, I promise. I wouldn’t let that happen to you. The spell only affected your memories. Our relationship isn’t what you think it is. Do you remember how I asked you about that time you saw the woman in the diner bathroom?” Sam asked. He looked up and Y/N nodded. She was staring at him, unsure of what to make of what he was telling her.

“That woman was the witch that my friend was talking about,” he continued. “Dean and I saw her sitting in the diner later on, and she was looking at pictures of us on her computer. We’d never seen her before and we got suspicious. It turns out we were right about her. She cast a spell that makes you think we’re engaged, Y/N. I’m really sorry, but we aren’t even dating. We, uh… The night before we went the diner we met in a bar for the first time—we didn’t know each other before then. It was just going to be a one-night stand until I invited you out for breakfast.” Y/N was quiet. She looked back down at her hands and inspected her nails. Sam stayed quiet, watching her carefully. Nothing he could ever say or do could erase what he’d just told her; and he knew that now she wouldn’t want anything to do with him, fake engagement or otherwise. A car drove past the dark motel and its headlights lit up the room, casting long shadows as it illuminated the empty second bed.

“Do you want me to explain more, Y/N? Or do you just want to go to bed? It’s getting late,” Sam murmured, trying to give her an out. She shook her head.

“Why?” she whispered after a moment, her voice barely audible.

“Why?” he repeated, confused. When she lifted her gaze once again, Sam could see the hurt in her eyes. He swallowed thickly.

“If this is all true, why did this happen? I mean, your friend said she was from the Grand Coven or something, right?” Sam nodded in response. “That sounds pretty powerful to me, Sam. Why would someone from something that powerful want to cast a spell on me? I’m nobody! I’m just a normal girl who works a normal job in a normal town. Why me?”

“She wanted to hurt me,” Sam said after a minute, sucking in air through his teeth. “I’ve got a history, Y/N. I’ve done some really bad things. Not just things like stealing or speeding, but awful, incomparable things that hurt a lot of people I cared about. I’m not going to hurt you, but lots of people want to hurt me. They’re using you to get to me. I’m so sorry. I don’t normally have one-night stands—or any kind of romantic relationship, for that matter—because my job and my past means they could get hurt, and I don’t want to hurt anyone. I really don’t, but for some reason they decided that you were the best way to get to me, and that’s something I never wanted to happen to someone like you.

“I’m sorry for getting you wrapped up in all of this. Nobody should have to go through what you’re going through, especially not because of the things I’ve done. It’s not fair to you. I’m going to make everything right again, and then you can go and forget all about me. I’m going to fix this. Okay?” Sam took her hand again and shifted so he could face her better. He wanted so badly for her to know that he was going to reverse the spell. She deserved to know that things were going to be okay and that she could someday have a normal life again. He hadn’t had that when Toni was messing with his mind, and he needed to know now that she had what he never did. Nodding, Y/N squeezed his hand ever so slightly. The room was silent as he waited for her to respond.

After taking a deep breath, she finally did. “Okay. I trust you, Sam.” The words were so simple, yet they made him sigh with relief. It felt like the world had been lifted off his shoulders. Y/N reached for him with her other hand. She cupped his cheek, letting her thumb brush across his cheekbone for a moment before she continued.

“I don’t think I believe you, but I trust you to do whatever you think is right for us. If figuring out this spell or whatever makes you happy, then we’ll do it together. I’m not going to let anybody hurt you, not because of me,” Y/N told him, her voice soft and earnest. Sam didn’t know how to reply. He knew that she was just trying to placate him, considering that spells made it impossible for their victims to think against them, but he still didn’t know how to express how grateful he was toward her for not being angry.

“Y/N, I—” He hadn’t even gotten the words out before she’d leaned in and kissed him. It only lasted a moment before she pulled away and looked at him, still cupping his cheek in her hand. In her eyes he could still see the confusion and hurt he’d caused, but there was something there he couldn’t identify. It was only a flicker, yet it stood out from the other emotions. Sam watched her, unsure of why she had kissed him after everything he’d told her.

“Together, Sam. I love you, and even though I think that this is just another dumb joke you’re pulling on me, I want to show you that I love you. Okay?” He closed his eyes, ducking his head to move away from her touch. He felt her breath brush over his hair as he shook his head. He couldn’t stand her saying she loved him after all he’d done to get her into this mess. Y/N gently pulled her hand away from his and then took his face in her hands, moving so she could better meet his eyes.

“We’ll figure it out. We’re going to figure this out. I know you’re expecting me to be upset with you or freaking out or something, but for now I just… I trust you to take care of me. Besides, I know how to tell if you’re lying to me,” Y/N smirked. Sam raised an eyebrow, choosing to ignore the heartfelt part of her remark.

“Yeah? And how do you tell if I’m lying?” he asked. She laughed a little and shook her head.

“If I tell you, then you’re gonna say I’m wrong no matter what,” she replied. “Because Sam Winchester always has to be right.”

“That’s not true!” She laughed and shook her head at him. Sam grinned, feeling better now that the subject had changed, and he pushed her down to the mattress, loosely pinning her down with her arms above her head. “Tell me how you know when I’m lying,” he demanded, still smiling playfully. Y/N shook her head and pressed her lips together, refusing to speak. He released one of her hands and reached down, tickling her side where her shirt had ridden up slightly. With a squeal, she wiggled out of his grip and darted away to stand on the other side of the bed.

“I’m not telling!” she laughed.

“You’ll tell me eventually,” Sam grinned, reaching for her once more.

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Forever Tag List: @sinceriouslyamellpadalecki, @deathtonormalcy56, @purgatoan, @feelmyroarrrr, @shadowgirl077, @mogarukes, @buckysmetallicstump, @amaranthinecastiel, @jpadjackles, @d-s-winchester, @kickasscas67, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @therebel1967, @supernatural-harrypotter7, @allinhishands, @ultimatecin73, @crystallstaircase, @a-screaming-ghost, @huffleypuffelycas, @procrastinating-fallen-angel, @kittycat-cas, @dracsgirl, @deansleather, @queenindecisive, @wildfirekhaleesi-ficrec, @fuckyeahfeysand, @sandlee44, @plaidstiel-wormstache, @spontaneousam, @writingbeautifulmen, @kristaparadowski, @adaliamalfoy, @winchesterforever12, @fangirl1802, @supernaturalyobsessed, @mamaredd123, @findingfitnessforme, @a-broken-hunter, @weepingrebelhottub, @notesfromalabprincess, @dustycelt, @becaamm, @riversong-sam, @you-know-whodoesthat-crazypeople, @therewillbeblood, @raylin19, @maddieburcham1

Sam Tag List: @lipstickandwhiskey, @bowtiesandapplepie, @itsemmyb, @ezauraemmaline, @beriala, @charliesbackbitches, @crzcorgi, @ellen-reincarnated1967, @gryffindorable713, @growleytria, @thegleegeneration, @samtomydeanwinchester, @i-never-said-a-pilot, @sis-tafics, @fandommaniacx, @meganwinchester1999, @samanddeanwinchester67, @ferferelli, @lilyoflothlorien, @iridianuniverse, @the-morning-star-falls, @ackleslaugh, @fangirling-instead-of-working, @eyes-of-a-disney-princess, @spnsimpleman, @faith-in-dean, @for-the-love-of-dean, @winchesterfiesta, @zanthiasplace, @pada-ackles-reads, @thing-you-do-with-that-thing, @gadreelsforbiddenfruit, @curliesallovertheplace, @jencharlan, @skybinx-blog, @thebunkerismyhome, @beachy2014, @fandom-book-nerd, @shipping-people-writing-things, @tia58, @sunriserose1023, @jotink78, @babypieandwhiskey, @waywardjoy, @fiveleaf, @spn-fan-girl-173, @howmanytuesdaysdidyouhave, @samsgoddess, @notnaturalanahi , @thegreatficmaster , @megansescape , @blushingsamgirl , @impossible-box , @castiels-forbidden-angel , @everyday-supernatural-af , @nichelle-my-belle , @jared-padaloveme , @supernatural-jackles , @idreamofhazel , @wevegotworktodo , @moonriverbabe , @snowystarguardian , @phoenixia67 , @iamreadinginsecret , @growningupgeek , @20secspnfam4 , @deerlululucy , @supermoonpanda , @sleep-silent-angel , @trenchcoats-and-bees , @not-so-natural-spn , @shelovesallthethings , @memariana91 , @chelsea-winchester , @drarina1737 , @castieltrash1 , @deals-with-demons , @matteson-crazed