#it sucked ass but not as much as the fucking dissolution of the idea of 'personal privacy'

[tomatoluvr69]

useless complaint post literally you don’t have to bother reading this it will just help me to rant a bit

This is sooooo not a real issue I’m just in the throes of pmdd but like I have a bunch of semi-expected (but way earlier than I’d thought) unemployed time so I’m using its alignment with the warm weather to go backpacking/live out of my car in [nearby national park and national forests] but right now I feel zero enthusiasm and I really hope it’s not gonna suck bc my heart’s not in it…like if I’m kind of doing it out of obligation bc it’s unusual to have such an extended span of time off when you’re an adult, then am I going to have the drive to get thru the parts that suck, like the exhaustion of steep trail days, the days when it storms so hard you have zero dry gear, etc. but really the part that I’m the most trepidatious about is the loneliness. But it’s so weird bc I’m struggling socially here and I really think some extended alone time would help?? But it’s always hard and I don’t want to lololol. Honestly what would help this the most is to just wait until after my fucking period. But as it is right now I feel like I’m just going thru the motions. If I could fucking live in my house for the equivalent amount of time without my social life encroaching I absolutely would but I’m so burnt out from my close friends leaving and from my last dear relationship here being at times really tough (it’s one that feels like my well-being rides on it— when it’s good, I’m on top of the world, when it’s not I’m hurt and confused and crawling out of my own skin). I still have a community here but it feels like it’s my roommates’ world, and I’m a guest whose presence is like…anodyne at best? And I really think I’ve just latched onto the idea of my trip as a vague mental escape hatch and haven’t really grasped the idea of the fact that I’ll still be present in my ailing brain and treacherous body when I go on the trip— I’m not just taking a nap from my (admittedly spoiled little baby) problems. And when I did the same thing for 3 or 4 weeks last summer I was dropped off & picked up, which created a really nice incentive to stay on trail— to leave, I’d have had to somehow communicate & coordinate with the relatives who’d agreed on a set date to come pick me up, i.e. effectively trapping me in the woods so I’d stay when I got all grumpy or sad or began semi-hallucinating human voices or was ready to throw it all away to get my hands on a slice of pepperoni pizza and a big old kombucha lol.

Anyways this is such not a real problem but me ol’ paranoid ass is convinced a whole passel of my irls have this blog’s url so I can’t freely complain about what’s really bothering me, which is that I’m starting to see harbingers of the devastating dissolution of my closest relationship. Or, even worse, my relegation to a much more distant connection. And I’m trying desperately to convince myself I should stay in this fucking town, because I’m suuuuuuuuper prone to just fleeing when I start to feel [inaudible], which is a super unsustainable way to live my life and o know it’s not [city] I’m trying to flee but myself which scientists are telling me I can’t physically do…but is that the truth?? Or is the truth that I actually do need a clean break from [redacted]…or is that just a convenient lie I’m telling myself so I can flee again. Or is THAT a convenient lie I’m telling myself so that I can keep my head in the sand and keep [redacted]. It’s so cool how you can’t trust your own heart and mind and you might just suffer from uncertainty forever and you’ll die chasing happiness with the grass always greener but also like pmdd and I don’t really want to go on this trip but I think I must. I think…

[wizardlyghost]

few things fill me with frothing at the mouth rage like multi factor verification and the government and employer recommended/required integration of the internet into every fucking facet of a persons life

[365days365movies]

March 7, 2021: Onward (2020) (Part Two)

Do I like this movie so far? I do. I do like this movie. But...

Hasn’t beat Finding Nemo yet, just saying. And I do like this movie, really. It’s enjoyable! And I want to see more of this world (also, the pixie bikers are GREAT), BUT...it’s not Nemo quality yet. To be honest, for me, it’s currently on the level of A Bug’s Life.

That said, A Bug’s Life is one of my guilty Pixar pleasures, and I saw that movie in theaters. Yeah, I’m old as shit. But putting Onward on the level is a compliment, I guarantee. Anyway, I’m only halfway through, so let’s go back into it! Part One is right here!

Recap (2/2)

So, the boys are pulled over by the cops, and Dad walks out of the trunk right in front of them, weird upper body disguise in tow. And the boys...decide to disguise themselves as Colt (the cop from earlier, and their mom’s boyfriend), in front of Specter (Lena Waithe) and Gore (Ali Wong), a cyclops and faun cop respectively. 

Which I don’t get, because you literally have a half of a dude right there. Just tell the people in a world where magic is in the history books that you’re trying to help your dead dad with magic. Like...is it not that simple? Because I feel like it totally is.

But in reality, this is a plot device to get Ian to admit to Barley that he thinks he’s a screwup. See, they disguise themselves as Colt (goddamn TERRIBLE idea, by the way), and the disguise is broken by lying, with Ian at the head and doing the talking. ALSO A TERRIBLE IDEA, BOYS.

Said conversation (which includes the cyclops confirming she’s a lesbian in a barely inclusive move that the media jumped ALL OVER Pixar for at the time) eventually turns into the faun calling Barley a screwup, and Ian attempting to defend him, only for the dissolution of the disguise to confirm that he actually thinks Barley’s a screwup. Cool. Probably was a better way to do that narratively, but...sure?

Things are tense in the car, as Ian tries to defend his actions to an understandably upset Barley. Although, to be fair...Barley doesn’t seem to not not be a screw-up. Which is probably a little unfair of me, because he hasn’t actively screwed up...much. I mean, the pixie biker fight was entirely his fault, but none of the other stuff has been him.

And that’s what Barley points out when he angrily pulls over and gets out of the car. When Ian disagrees, Barley challenges Ian to agree to go on the journey to the Gem via the previously mentioned Path of Peril, a more dangerous pathway. As they argue, they’re interrupted by their dad’s legs, which dance with them and allow them to open up to each other a bit. They agree on Barley’s idea to take the path.

Meanwhile, Laurel and Corey are off to save the brothers from the curse, which manifests as goon as they grab the gem. To do so, they need to get Corey’s sword from a pawn shop, run by Grecklin (Tracey Ullman), a goblin who owns the shop. After she upscales the price of the sword once learning of its rarity, Corey just knocks her the fuck out with a scorpion sting! Nice. They take the sword, while Laurel gets a call from Colt.

Colt’s also looking for the boys, who make their way on the Path of Peril. They encounter a ravine, and the only way across is to cast an invisible bridge that relies on trust. You know, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade style. Despite a mishap involving a lack of rope, Ian makes it across, and let’s down a bridge to allow Barley and their dad across as well. Oh, and Colt, too.

Colt arrives, and tries to get the boys home, completely ignoring their quest and planning on bringing them in. Ian pretends to go along with it, but instead gets in Guinevere and guns it down the path. They reach a dead end, now being pursued by multiple cops, and have seemingly no way out. But Barley...Barley sees a way out.

GUINEVERE NOOOOOO!!! You were a valiant steed. The van’s destroyed, the cops are blocked, and the boys make their way down the path, fraught with danger...and feral unicorns! Whish is something that I will one day incorporate into a game, I SWEAR it.

They find their way to a cave, and need to get down a river to get there. They do so by riding a giant cheese puff that Ian makes. Nice. And delicious. While on the S.S. Cheezy Poof, Barley reveals another of the few memories he has of his father: his death bed. Whoof. They land the Poof, and go down a booby-trapped pathway where they meet up with a gelatinous cube. Neat. Also very bad.

But they get out of that, out of a water trap, and finally reach the end of their quest, which leads to...the school. Ah. Fuck.

Well, this leads to the inevitable Act 3 blow-up from Ian to Barley, blaming him for his idea to go down the Path of Peril, and officially calling him a screw-up. Barley’s not given up as of yet, but Ian is done, and he storms off. Barley, desperate, goes back to an old stone well nearby, which was being torn down at the beginning of the film. He climbs on top, causing the construction workers to call the cops.

Ian, looking over a cliff with his dad’s legs, looks at a list of thing he had wanted to do with his father. But as he reads through it, he realizes that he’d actually already done all of those things...with his brother.

The real father was the brother we made along the way.

That made me laugh harder than I should have, but...that is weird, right? Like, his real dad has been his brother all along? And yeah, I get that it’s more of an “appreciate your family” message thing going on, but...I’m not crazy to be seeing the problematic nature of the execution of that message, right? RIGHT?

Well...father-brotherly-love aside, Ian realizes this just as Barley realizes that he’s had the key to their problems in his hands. Literally, he has a stone key, and he uses it to open up the well, revealing the Phoenix Stone inside of it. But when he takes it out, well...it’s curse time.

The curse manifests itself by going into the school and grabbing equipment paid for by taxes, and uses it and the stone infrastructure of the school to become...

...a goofy-ass-yet-somehow-kinda-imposing stone dragon. As the brothers flee the mascot-faced stone dragon, who should show up but Laurel riding Corey, which solidifies her status as best movie mom. They go to take care of the curse, while the boys go to fully revive their father before the sun sets.

Laurel and Corey go up against this thing, but crash into the ground. Laurel, being the BEST GODDAMN CHARACTER IN THE MOVIE, uses Jazzercise moves to take out the dragon...temporarily. It’s not quite enough, but she got real goddamn close. Barley decides to give up his chance to say goodbye to his Dad, but Ian takes his place instead, noting that he never had a dad, but he had his brother. He goes to slay the dragon, and succeeds with magic and the help of his mom.

It’s cool. But, uh...Ian misses the opportunity to meet his father, after all of that. Barley, however, gets that opportunity...which we only see from afar. And it’s poignant, and sweet, and...oddly a little anticlimactic. It’s uh...I dunno, guys, I’m not sure.

Wilden disappears after a hug with Barley, and Barley goes to tell his brother what his father said, which was that he was very proud of the young men that Ian and Barley grew up to be. He also gave him something else to give Ian.

Sweet.

The epilogue reveals that everybody’s had their lives changed a bit. Corey’s still the manager of the tavern, but approaches it with a few and fun vigor (I really like Corey, by the way; she’s my second favorite). She goes out with new friend and fierce warrior Laurel on some night for some good old fashioned adventuring. Fuck YES.

Colt, taking on a comment from Barley earlier in the film, has stared running on his horse legs, rather than using his police car, and is also getting along better with Ian and Barley. Barley is...to be honest, still exactly the same, which feels...a little wasted, not gonna lie. And Ian is now far more self-confident, and is learning an adeptness for magic, which the entire world is now beginning to rediscover. And Ian and Barley, their relationship stronger than ever, sets out of the adventure called life in a new Guinevere.

And that’s Onward! And...I mean...it didn’t beat Finding Nemo. Didn’t suck either, but...you know what, we’ll get to it in the Review. See you there!

[jiwonsssi]

challenge: no kisses from Jiwon.

characters: Eun Jiwon/'you'

warnings: pure smut.

It was a great date, really, amazing one, but you realised that something better is going to happen when Jiwon pulled you on his laps while you were taking off your dress.

- What? - you know what he wants. God, his hands wondering up your tights and the way he stares at you - he's so clear about his desires.

- You look beautiful, - you smile, touching his perfectly done hair, unbuttoning his black shirt with the other hand.

He looks better. He always does. Effortlessly.

It's hard to fight with the urge to kiss him and it's not like you want to; the moment you touch his neck with your lips, grip on your ass feels tighter and he pushes you closer. You know that he wants you; it makes you tremble in all the right places. You continue on kissing him, knowing exactly how to making him feel the same. One kiss right under his ear and Jiwon furrows his brows, hissing at the feeling of your soft humps on his bulge.

You push his chest lightly and he's very generous to actually obey you today. Jiwon falls on the bed, leaving you sitting on him and.. there are so many things you want to do to him. He rarely gives you this chance, it would be a pity to waste it.

You lean to him, leaving small wet kisses around his adam apple and he squeezes your tights harder, making the friction between your bodies more tangible.

- Jiwon, no, - and you won't let him do that. Whispering it in his ear, you bite it a bit harder than needed to suck on it right after.

Jiwon humps something barely audible, leaving your tights and now lightly hugs your waist. He surrenders. Feels amazing.

Continuing to slowly hump on him, you leave a trail of small pink hickeys on his neck and collarbones, biting on one softly.

He's so hard at this point. You feel him getting bigger between you legs and his breath is so erratic. He could say whatever he wants, but you just know that he fucking loves it when you are gentle, slow and firm with him. It's always on another level when you have a chance to make him feel like this. Jiwon always gives you all you want, it mostly all about you when it comes to sex. He doesn't even give you a chance to treat him. And judging by his blesses expression, he might be doubting some of his life decisions now.

You kiss him on parted lips and he responds quickly, reaching for you madly when you part and God, his eyes never been so dark.

You are worked up, but he's burning with desire. Knowing that it's because of you.. boosts your confidence everytime.

You leave a kiss on his chin, then lower and lower; soft warm wet kisses and he moans when you reach his navel, making you close your eyes in attempt to calm down. You are quick to sit between his legs and he pushes himself on elbows, slowly putting a hand on the back of your head.

It's the first time. You are equally surprised as he is.

Continuing to kiss every millimeter of the skin on his lower abdomen, you palm him through thick black jeans material and hear him hissing violently again. His attitude right now is so sexually appealing, you want to experience this on the fullest.

You look at him, trying to ignore how he looks with this frown and biting his lower lip, or how his chest moves wildly from how tough is breathing.. it's impossible to not to stare at him, but you force yourself to focus on giving him more pleasure. You softly kiss harsh material and you can swear you saw a glimpse of irritated 'fuck you' in his eyes and his lips flinch before he throws his head back, growling long annoeyd 'fuck'. You smirk. It would be slow and sensual, because you want it like that. At least for now.

Unziping his jeans, you take them along with hus underwear lower with his help and he moans at the feeling of your hand stroking him liglty. The thing is, you are not far from moaning yourself because the sight made you so frustrated. He's dripping and you make it spread all over his length with your hand, pressing his tip with your thumb gently. The feeling of hot smooth skin is amazing and you never knew you would even think something like that, but you do want to taste him. You have no idea how turned on is he, but you surely feel light fog spreading in front of your eyes.

You take him in without a second thought and he moans so fucking loud; you have never heard him being this audible. Jiwon grips the base of your neck when you start to move your head up and down slowly, taking your time in licking him the way he deserves it. Long wet stripe from the base along the popping out vein makes him swear out loud and he puts pressure on your head when you take him in again, trying to make you go deeper and you know he tries his best to restrain himself, because he releases you in a moment, but you know he doesn't want it to be slow. It's all about him, right?

You part from circling his tip with your tongue and look at him, almost smiling at how frustrated he is. You absolutely love that sight.

Jiwon titles his head, breathing heavily and the moment he caress the base of your neck so gently, tracing his fingertips along your hairline, looking in your eyes with such an adoration, you.. he's the best. He can barely breath yet that little gesture; it means so much more than just 'I love you'.

- Don't hold back.

You smirk, taking him in your mouth again, never breaking eye contact. Jiwon sits straight in a moment, taking your hair in one swift movement in one hand, pressuring your head with the other. You close your eyes, allowing him to guide you the way he wants; fast and deep. He never cross the line and when you choke lightly on him, Jiwon whispers barely audible 'sorry baby' and lights the pressure instantly, letting you rest for a moment. The moment you on him again, he mutters low and firm 'relax', thrusting deeper and you obey, taking him in almost fully.

- Good job.

You didn't want to be turned on at how he praises you, but you are. You can feel how your body is longing for him; you want him even more right now. And Jiwon knows it.

You know that he's close because he's erratic and can barely control his voice or hands. You grip his jeans, not knowing where to put you hands when he deepthroats you again and you moan, sending vibration all over his length in your mouth, making him moan again. Jiwon praises you again, muttering soft 'just like that, baby, good'.

He never called you names. Apparently you are into it.

God, you so are.

Jiwon does it again, more faster and harder, and the way he looks at you with your hair being in a messy gentle grip of his all the time, makes it all worth it. You try to look at him and he can't even maintain eye contact; Jiwon rarely looks so lost in chasing his orgasm and it made you proud all over again.

- I'm.. - he tries to pull you away. He really does. But it's still all about him and the only one thing you know for sure is that he likes to cum inside. It's your first time giving him a head and you want him to take all from it.

Jiwon press your head tight into him the moment he realizes you are not going anywhere and you feel him releasing deep inside you instantly. He stops and the only thing you see is muscles flexing on his lower abdomen as he unconsciously tries to get more and go deeper. You swallow it without even thinking about it and when he lets you go, you look him in the half opened eyes and lick him again, sucking on sensitive reddish skin in attempt to clean everything.

You wanted to taste him. Tastes nice.

Literally the next moment you lay on a bed with him pressing you in sheets and smirking the most dissolute smirk you have ever seen in him.

It will be a long night.

[whatthefoucault]

Tagged by the radiant @enochianess - thanks hen!

A - age? 32 B - biggest fear? I dunno.  Failure?  The dissolution of global civilisation?  Dying before I’ve had the chance to leave a meaningful legacy?  Bad things happening to the people I love?  Oh, and definitely being violently attacked (especially when I’m walking home in a quiet and poorly-lit area). C - current time? 22:34 D - drink you last had? ANT MAN TASTES LIKE LEMONY ANTS E - every day starts with? The continually disappointing knowledge that my life is meaningless, followed by a check on my Avengers Academy for ipad F - favourite song? Honestly, I listen to so much music that it’s impossible to say, but I got misty-eyed listening to this on the coach the other day and I was totally sober at the time, so make of that what you will. G - ghosts, are they real? Nupe! H - hometown? The beautiful city of Guelph, home to one of Canada’s top comprehensive universities. I - in love with: tumblr user @sledgecallier J - jealous of? Sebastian Stan’s ability to look like a freaking hottie in the same sorts of thing I look like a goddamn tired heffalump when I’m wearing them?  That makes me weirdly angry a lot of the time.  Also probably people who aren’t always tired and can eat bread without gaining like five stone? K - killed someone? This question makes me feel like this meme is actually a secret really terrible attempt by a really terrible undercover detective hoping to solve a murder.  If you’re reading this, Detective Terrible Detective, I’m 5000% sure the murderer isn’t going to confess in a tumblr meme.  Also, no, I super haven’t.  I can’t even flush spiders down the loo. L - last time you cried? Earlier today, because they upgraded us to a giant-ass moving van and trying to go through a roundabout in that thing scared the fuck out of me. M - middle name? Evelyn N - number of siblings? One older brother.  He doesn’t know more than me just because he’s older, and I’m definitely more successful as an adult than he is.  So theeeeeeeeeeeeere. O - one wish: Just one?  I’m going to be selfish and ask to wind the clock back to before the brexit clusterfuck and make it not be a thing. P - person you last called/texted: that’ll be tumblr user @sledgecallier again, and I’m pretty sure I just said something exceptionally pithy and affectionate in a message to tumblr user @steveandbucky. Q - questions you are always asked:  Are you a student, they ask me.  Yes, friend!  That’s why I’m in the university staff offices every day!  EVERY BLOODY DAY I AM IN THIS OFFICE WHY WOULD I BE A STUDENT I AM OLD ENOUGH TO BE A STUDENT’S MOM *spirals into smol person rage* R - reasons to smile: there’s an entire pan of cherry cheesecake brownies in the kitchen. S - song last sang: Pretty sure it was Ali Baba by John Holt, while doing the washing up. T - time you woke up: 8, then 10:30 U - underwear colour: black and white stripes.  Which is also my favourite colour. V - vacation destination: Copenhagen.  I mean, I’ve never been to Copenhagen, but I’m pretty sure I want to? W - worst habit: does persistently having anxiety count as a bad habit? X - x-rays you’ve had: besides teeth, I had a chest x-ray for asthma once.  Turns out my lungs suck and I will forever be disappointed that my special superpowers have yet to manifest themselves. Y - your favourite food: depends on my mood and the season.  I like when the bumper crops of fruit come in, like the little dark, sweet plums, and later, all the different varieties of apple they grow here in the UK, and rhubarb.  Oh man, rhubarb. Z - zodiac sign: Do Not Disturb.

No idea who’s been tagged, so consider yourself tagged if you wanna do it!