#it still sucks and I'm still angry
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can i just say. and this is probably a niche hill to die on. that i am so gobsmacked every time someone vaguely hints at the idea that jotaro doesn't care meaningfully for the other crusaders, usually particularly kakyoin and joseph, when those two actually tend to be the ones he reacts to being hurt the hardest
like he cares for his loved ones!!!! that literally plays into his character motives in every single part he shows up in!!! stop lying to me!!!!!!!
#me.txt#jjba#i'm going to ramble in tags actually. excuse me#ok. rereading sdc and so confused at the general perception of jotaro and his friends/family. he's not NEARLY as flat or as dickish#i understand that the anime (particularly the dub) tends to slander him but even then he still clearly cares for them! i'm confused#i also understand that a lot of people dig against jotaro and kakyoin as a dynamic because 'they're popular' and that generally disliking#popular things across media is a thing that i've seen consistently everywhere but the discredit to them simply as a DUO and not even as a#pairing is so..... odd..... like they're considered to be a duo that clicks for a reason. i enjoyed them even before i got into the fandom#every time i see someone say jotaro is overrated/dull i take a shot and assume they're an anime-only or only read the manga like once btw#joseph and jotaro also have a neat dynamic and they obviously both love and care for each other. like they're not going to go around loudly#or anything but literally the entirety of the lovers and the prelude to the dio fight IS jotaro being worked up over joseph getting hurt#equally i don't know if it translates to the anime as much but joseph is VERY complimentary when it comes to jotaro. like he sings his#praises so often and reminds everyone that he's his grandson so frequently (d'arby the gamer is a good example of this). either way it's so#peculiar....... there's not enough avdol and jotaro content btw (also in canon) because jotaro obviously looks up to him and avdol jokes#around with him on the occasion they interact after their intro which doesn't start very well. it's very cute#i do think an important thing to note about jotaro's character is how he acts AFTER his intro because he's so drastically different. early#jotaro and later jotaro aren't the same character and i do not mean this in a character development way. excluding the jail incident he's#completely different and probably shouldn't really be taken into account (especially considering the amount of slapstick in araki's intros)#and i think that's really???? what people center on for his character? Which sucks balls bad!#anyways. i could ramble more about this if asked i have so much to say but sigh. jotaro cares so much for his friends and family he's not a#flat fully cold asshole character regardless of whether you watch the anime or ova or read the manga. you just have poor media literacy#i wouldn't recommend watching solely the anime for his character though. the dub also changes a lot so it's... questionable#i love the anime and it's still important for him though. also adds neat stuff. i need to stop myself. i have many thoughts on the matter#jotaro kujo#joseph joestar#noriaki kakyoin#adding in case anyone sees: i am not saying that he is perfect about this. in fact he is very ass about it with jolyne and holly and that's#very important. he also is in fact an asshole sometimes. NOT as much as you guys are making him though!#please don't get me started on how much of a dick etc people make kakyoin to veer away from the 'woobified' characterizations of him#in fact i think that's bad if not worse because it CLAIMS to be in character. hes a prim asshole at times but not that angry or dishevelled
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Typing "capsaicin snake effect" into the search bar so i can figure out if yakumo can eat spicy food
#it's telling me that primarily mammals are affected#and the few times they tried it on snakes#it didn't really do much except mess with their processing abilities a bit#so what you're saying is that yakumo will primarily not be affected by spicy food.#but maybe with super spicy things#he might get a lil loopy? a lil nose clogged ? a momentary distraction? but no pain#if yakumo's tears are mala sauce then it only makes sense that he can eat mala amirite#mammals are the ones who suffer huh.........#i am imagining the yokai trio eating some hella spicy food#yakumo is eating unaware of the presence of capsaicin. he's happily describing the textural and flavour profiles of the dish#garu is a lil confused. this food hurts a bit. but it's still tasty so... gotta keep eating.. OW drink milk? THEN EAT MORE! YEAH!#kuya is OBLITERATED#for all we know the version that kuya got could have only been seasoned with a bit of black pepper#but old fox scrunches up his entire face as soon as it hits his tongue#and he slams the dish into the trash (with dramatic angry flair) like he's a veteran judge on a cooking show#garu WILL eat that thing out of the trash if you don't stop him#if rei is more bird than man then he won't be affected either#i'm gonna go ahead and think even if he IS more man than bird... he'll still be unaffected.#rei probably eats toxic waste akin to blade and garu levels . he is beyond human. he has experimebnted beyond Mortal Stomachs#blade is in the corner crunching on what you THINK is a candy apple. but it is not that. it is an orb of molten glass#(blade's spicy food is hot metal? yeah. he'll eat that capsaicin like it's nothing. give him an orchard of chillis.)#(actually. maybe don't. because the next time eiden sucks him off there gonna be some COMEDIC consequences)
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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I'm still thinking about how ashamed I was (and am) with being open about my pain because I am so young. It's so hard to feel worthy of having your pain taken seriously when the people around you insist that young bodies are always in pristine, untouched condition and that you must earn your pain through aging. Never is it considered that young people aren't lying or being a hypochondriac for expressing their pain.
Young people can be in life-altering pain. Young people can have debilitating pain. It doesn't matter what age it happens because pain doesn't discriminate. Complaining about pain and doing things to prevent needless pain aren't something you have to "earn" through aging.
If you want young people to be in less or lesser pain, then encourage them to do whatever they can to minimize it. Don't downplay what they're experiencing. Not everything is a lie, not every experience that is different than yours is exaggeration or deceit.
#disability#ableism#ableism tw#this is one of the big reasons i was ashamed of admitting when i am in pain#and it's one of the reasons i was ashamed to address the pain i have#and i'm angry about that actually! nobody should fear being labeled as essentially having munchausen syndrome because...#...'young people NEVER have pain or disabilities and you're a liar!'#i really do want to start addressing my pain because i know it's not normal but holy shit batman it can suck sometimes#i honestly like talking to my dad about this because he also has a lot of pain (moreso than i do now) but he actually TRIES to listen...#putting this in the disability tag but i still don't feel right about labeling my own pain as such...#...but i know so many people with disabling pain who would relate...#...maybe it's internalized ableism on my part or maybe i just want to be respectful of people with worse pain#this is me really just reflecting on m the fact that i haven't ever had an amazing body in a lot of ways (though i am lucky still)#i'm still thinking about having an emergency cane to help me get up when my pain is bad but idk if it's worth the investment#so if anybody reading this has suggestions (esp. for those with back pain)... please hook me up i will platonically love you forever
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it's 4am and i just woke up for a glass of water and i see the news 😭 tv is dead and the world is shit but i love you all in this space the show has given us and i wouldn't trade it for anything 💗 changed my life in all the best ways and i still have so many stories to tell about these characters 💖
#never allowed myself to clown too hard and i already grieved hard in january so i'm mostly just angry at wb#the cancellation made no sense in the first place and it sucks that this happened to this show#we still have two brilliant seasons with the most loveable characters 💗#they should've had a third but i can't wait to see the next projects from david and the cast#ofmd#our flag means death#going back to bed and responding to your sweet messages in the morning 💗
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I just don't understand how my mom had me, her oldest and first child, raised me for 18 years (kind of?), and then chose some guy she barely knows and is objectively terrible over me and kicked me out unexpectedly after telling me I'm no longer a part of her family and all my childhood trauma (that HER at the time husband caused) was my fault. And now she's banned me from seeing my siblings that I RAISED (because she wasn't able to at the time.), she refused to answer my phone calls or texts when I was in the hospital, terrified, crying and begging her to come help or support me because I was completely alone in the hospital in the worst pain in my life and just wanted my mom, and on top of everything, made it clear I'm not invited to family thanksgiving. I don't understand. How is she even able to do that. I don't need her, I'm an adult, but I'm still her child. I don't think I'll ever understand.
#i'll delete this later#but i would really appreciate some kind words or support or blorbo/pet photos right now /nf#i'm just really sad and really angry#maybe i'm just being dramatic or selfish#after all i am an adult. i dont need my mom anymore.#but it still hurts#i can do it without her. but it sucks she doesn't even want me at the family thanksgiving for ONE day.#i miss my siblings#tw vent
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rant about proshipping because it's 1 am and i can't sleep and i can't find a good fucking fanfiction website and i'm just so fucking sick of everything.
just to preface this i'm not an "anti". just anti-leaning. i'm shipcourse unaligned because i find this type of discourse really pointless and anger inducing. like why the fuck do i have to tell grown ass adults (i'm literally not joking there are people in their fucking forties believing this shit) that shipping a child and their dad is not ok. like what.
ok preface done. now the rant.
i find all of proshitters' takes on stuff really weird. like what do you mean fiction doesn't affect reality? if fiction doesn't affect really, then how the fuck did the january 6 riots happen? i can assure you that the reason they were there was not because there was actual election fraud. if fiction doesn't affect reality, then queer and racial representation in fiction doesn't matter. like people realize that, right? or am i just out of my mind? clearly you can understand how pedophilia and incest in fiction can affect people if you can understand how representation of minorities in fiction can affect people. there can't possibly be people that dense, right? even aside from children and minors reading that shit, pedophiles reading it can make them consider not getting help for their paraphilia and just jacking off to the porn you oh-so-graciously have given them. like does that not make you uncomfortable beyond words?
or their other argument saying that people shouldn't care what others ship? like am i overreacting to be incredibly uncomfortable around people who actively ship minors and adults? why do people even do that in the first place? don't give me that coping mechanism crap, there are *much* more better and efficient coping mechanisms than writing about pedophilia, like writing about the feelings you felt or talking about it with someone. i went through something very similar, but i didn't have to write pedophilic shit and post it on ao3, so why would you have to?
like you are harming people with this crap. you are giving predators something to hide behind. you are giving people who draw problematic things, not even related to weird ships (like people who draw racist and other bigoted things), something to hide behind. you are giving creeps a platform and ultimately helping them in getting their behavior normalized. do you not see the problem with this?
do i, a teenager, need to tell an adult, a person in their mid-forties, that condoning pedophilia and incest, even fictional, is problematic?
rant over. feel free to send death threats or try to tell me to support creeps in the replies or even my askbox. or don't. your choice.
#fern gets angry#fern gets serious#swearing#tw proship#tw pedophila mention#tw incest mention#anti proship#anti proshitter#anti proshipper#hopefully this post will be one of the only posts i make about these freaks#just a quick backstory on why i made this post because if you're still reading you're probably really into this post#i was just minding my own business looking for some good fanfiction of my blorbos#when suddenly i come across ao3#and i'm like#“oh i've heard of that and my friends use it so maybe i should try it”#so i did#but then i realized that all of the authors on there were proship#(at least the ones i came across)#and i was like “what? why?”#then i realized that it was the proship site#which really sucks because the best fics were there#yeah i hate life#and proshits#anyway backstory done#fern.og
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So F1nnster just came out as genderfluid but still I super fucking hate him. Making trap content and constantly making money off of a performance of being a fake girl, getting a name change and gender marker change and posting about going through that all while basically shoving it in the faces of trans women who have struggled over years and years. You've been a performance and you've gained wealth essentially making fun of us and enforcing horrible stereotypes, and saying "Yeah I just don't care about gender" Does Not Make Me Fucking Forgive Any Of That. What fucking hatred you've tossed onto your channel towards trans women will not go away easily, and Fuck You.
#I haven't looked at his channel for ages and ages and I think the video where he LITERALLY GOES OUT AND TRICKS PEOPLE TO TRY AND BE FUNNY#Is down because I know a ton of trans women saw that and went 'Hey this FUCKING SUCKS'#But there's still so many videos up just of like. 'I pretend to be a girl doing x'#and having big text saying 'GUY' and pointing at him#Just like.#Fuck you so hard#I fucking hate f1nnster#Also the quick video of him coming out I was sent and what made me aware of this all#I didn't see anything about him changing pronouns and I do hope I'm not getting them wrong#I'm just fucking angry#t slur#transmisogyny#I even saw fucking video from ages ago with the title 'getting surgery' and I fucking KNOW he made that to make people think#'lookit I got bottom surgery haha :)'#Beating him with fucking hammers
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I know I'm probably gonna end up on someone's 'kill it with fire' list for this, but I am so tired of each and every ask lately being someone's desperate plea for help.
I have neither the money to help, nor the energy to go through the vetting process of figuring out which request is legit and which isn't, so I can't just post them either, because I refuse to aid in someone's attempt to use other people's goodwill against them. scams are still a thing, and sadly enough people will use any opportunity to benefit from someone else's misery.
so please stop sending me these. I get at least three a day and if this doesn't stop I'm gonna have to turn off asks which sucks because I like talking to people. I just.. I can't anymore. I am exhausted, mentally and more importantly emotionally, and I just don't have the bandwidth to deal with this right now.
#yes I know people are suffering. yes I know they need help. but the ten people a day who see my posts don't have money either#if posting this means that some of y'all are disappointed in me or angry and decide to unfollow or whatever - sure. go ahead#it's not that I don't care. but I am barely clawing my way back into being a person atm and I just can't. I'm barely coping as is#so do what you feel is necessary (block. unfollow. whatever) and know that I feel like shit every time I delete an ask or block a blog.#(it doesn't help that everyone keeps posting about how easy it is to check and vet submissions bc guess what - it isn't#it still takes a toll emotionally and some of us have enough to deal with already)#so yeah. if the ask button goes away then know that it's not that I don't want to engage or listen to what y'all have to say#I just need to make sure that I'll be alright at the end of the day and that means boundaries even if they suck to enforce
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Why did they do that tho
Every once in a while I think about how in the books, Geralt does anything and everything for his Dandelion, and goes murdercrazy when Dandelion is threatened/captured, and Geralt loves and looks after his Dandelion at every point And the netflix show made Geralt hate him, ignore him, and barely acknowledge his pain after getting TORTURED I just- YOU DON'T NEED TO BE AN ASSHOLE TO YOUR FRIENDS TO BE A 'BADASS HERO'!
In my heart they are happy and in love and geralt's not a cunt <3 I am a okay with the the half of the fandom that is firm on them just being friends, hell yeah they're friends! Amazing ones, at that! But you know who we all hate? The people who agree with TWN!Geralt's treatment of his bard... For shame... For shame....
#not a prompt#not a fic prompt#angry#the witcher netflix sucks#twn sucks#Fanon Geralt is my favorite because everyone smashes together the most fun and angsty and sweet traits from them all#Game geralt's voice sounds like it hurts but maybe that's just me? anyways he's still cool#Hexer geralt is super sweet but i can't watch until i find somewhere with it for free (with english subs)#Book geralt LOVES his bard so so so much and tells him all his problems and likes his songs and rides with him and worries about him#and netflix geralt can die on a rock <3#opinion#criticsm#idk idc i think twn geralt is an asshat to everyone and he doesnt need to be and its NOT true to his character in every other adaptation#he can be a cool badass witcher who is blocked off emotionally and STILL love his one and only best friend for DECADES#I'm not asking netflix to make them make out or anything grand#just idk... Make the friends.... friends????#still pisses me off#All the other geralts punch the air when watching TWN
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Really wish I could fight the schmuck who invented allergies with my bare hands
#Seasonal allergies suck ASS.#Usually it's not too bad but like. Our air conditioning has been out for like 3 days now#And it's not getting fixed til Monday#So I've had to sleep with my windows open bc otherwise I'd ROAST like a pig in my room#(Which is upstairs. Where ALLLL the heat in the house travels to)#But bc I've had to sleep with my windows open. ALL the pollen keeps blowing in#So I'll wake up with my eyes streaming and my nose streaming and EVERYTHING just. Awful#I could close the window. But then I'd cook. But my allergies are SO bad. But it's hot. But I literally cannot breathe through my own snot.#HATE IT HERE#I hate summer. I HAAAATE summer so much#I can't wait for fall and winter.....snow please come back.....#Shima speaks#I'm so angry bc I've been stuffy and congested all day. And I've taken at least 3 allergy pills#Still dying btw! Still dying. Very much suffering rn
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HEARTBREAKING
Worst Dad You Know Has an Extremely Endearing (Now) Reoccurring Character Trait
For further context: this whole FB involved Sharena and Henriette seeking out lockpickers in the Order of Heroes to open this VERY SECURELY locked box from Gustav's room that took Tina's special staff to finally crack open (or rather -- "steal" the contents out of. No one could actually break the lock!)
And the first instance of this!
It makes me wonder if he saved anything related to Sharena..........
#fire emblem#feh#man. henriette's sad portrait w 'yes. he must have' carries so much bittersweet grief. augh#when it comes to sharena idk if i would be more angry if he did save something or if he didn't. i'm almost leaning towards the first though#like. idk if i can even word it but it fucking sucks when you have family that 'loves' you and they do actually genuinely love you#but they just. do it wrong. and fail you severely in the process. you think to yourself it would have been easier actually#if they had simply never loved you at all. or if they were upfront and told you they don't love you anymore.#at least then you can be as vindictive as you want and hold a grudge forever and be completely justified#but extremely begrudgingly this DOES make gustav a compelling character. in so many ways#you can see where it all went wrong. you can see henriette sees something in him that no one else can. and she's not crazy for it#she was probably there. she probably saw it all happen. she knows him w a level of intimacy no one else does.#and now you see these little humanizing traits. he loved his son. he loved his partner and wife.#juries still out on his daughter.#but you get what i'm saying right? it's terribly tragic. it's painful.#man.#i'm still gustav's number one hater though. just so we're clear.#AUGH IT'S JUST. THE PLAYFULNESS OF IT. IS ACTUALLY SO PAINFUL. LOOKING AT EVERYTHING WE KNOW#they had a rock competition........ to find the roundest rock.......... and she won....... and he saved the rock she found......#THAT'S. AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#you cannot fucking IMAGINE gustav doing that. and yet. in another time. he did. and that's who henriette fell in love with#and that's who herniette still sees. and she's not fucking wrong for it. not entirely. he still has that fucking rock.#dude i'm gonna be sick.#fe gustav#fe henriette#sharena#fe tina#fe alfonse#he's. mentioned. might as well tag him LMFAO
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Just some more Still Wakes the Deep blah blah, but omg having just been diagnosed Diabetes type 1 myself recently, it makes me only love and feel for Roy 10X more...
This shit is litteraly poison, but so does the food we eat with how much sugar there is in ugh OTL
Never thought in a million year I had DT1, I had 0 symptoms and am in pretty good shape, but then suddenly, organs are starting to hurt really badly out of nowhere...
Don't wait too long poeple and check with your doctors even if there's ''nothing'' T0T and to all Diabetic ppl out there, keep on fighting 💪✨
#random#delete later#first 2 weeks of diagnosis i didn't realized what it meant to live with this#but the 3rd week it really sinked it and i couldn't stop crying everyday#i felt even more like a failure and it made me even more angry that my biological parents left me with that#being adopted i have no medical history and i was already living a quite healthy life style#ofc it could have been even better but now i have to do many extra steps#everything's back to normal now but holy shit that hit me like a truck#plus it was urgent since it had been MONTHS it was left untreated and my family doctor just never told me or bothered to check my blood tes#so ughh idk it sucks with life being already hard as it is#high blood pressure now this... tho theyre probably related#i prepared my bucket list sooo i guess LET'S GO?! jk jk#i'm scared to have a heart attack or stroke in the middle of nowhere where no one i love is around... and that'll be it#but i mean if it happens it happens i guess XD#i'm hopefull now but holy shit... fucking pancreas who just decides to stop working#when you read more about DT1 it just feels like a bad employee who suddenly doesn't want to work anymore#and the good boss cant do anything about it#oh well#as long as i can still create art i'll be fine and happy#diabetic? more like diabethicc
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Found out from a friend that Biden is stepping down. Great! Guess we're completely fucked. Time to push my dad on the adult adoption paperwork so that if we need to leave the fucking country when Trump wins we can
#ramblings#politics#look I'm not usually the type to be a doomer. i hate it when people do it. I'm still going to vote#I'm venting about it so please don't come at me for dooming#that said. he was a GOOD CANDIDATE and it's absolutely fucking ridiculous that this is happening#and if Trump wins. it will DIRECTLY AFFECT ME.#I've been awake an hour and today already sucks so much#just bad news after bad news#and i know I'm about to see my dash flooded with people celebrating#and I'm so sick and angry this ISN'T A GOOD THING#fuck!
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One of my favorite lines from "It's kind of a funny story" by Ned Vizinni is that "Depression is a medical illness. Would you be ashamed if you had diabetes?" And yeah, cool. It would be great if doctors ACTUALLY treated it that way, you know? Any time I've been hospitalized, they treat me subhuman and basically tell me that all the things I do on a daily basis to help me survive are bad coping skills and I should feel bad about myself because I'm making things up. Like I'm so sorry that my chronic illness has decided to show and debilitate me. I didn't realize that fibromyalgia, which is ALSO a medical disease, isn't something to be ashamed of. Because literally all my doctors treat me like I'm a little whiny bitch baby who's just after drugs.
#i rarely go to to doctor if i can help it#and they still sabotage my chart#fibromyalgia is a syndrome (set of signs/symptoms) and not a like. known disease process#and they can't explain why you actually feel that way because we don't know what fibromyalgia is mechanistically#fibro#fibro problems#fibromyalgia#my medical record is just my doctors telling me i'm lying#medical stigma#doctors can suck my dick#cripplepunk#cripple punk#queer cripple#angry cripple#disabled#ned vizzini#it's kind of a funny story#depression#depressed#depressive#involuntary hospitalization#complex ptsd#ptsd#actuallymentallyill
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This is how I imagine Nerd and Critic in my head.
#nostalgia critic#avgn#angry video game nerd#talkin' to myself#nerd's tag#critic's tag#wanted to make a post like this for a while#i still find it funny how my default interpretations of them aren't from the same time period#i'm not a big fan of how nerd started looking after avgn movie anymore lol#wire frame glasses long-sleeved fluffy hair nerd is literally peak anything else fucking sucks#for critic it's like... i love how he looks no matter what. the changes he had over the years are subtle enough to ignore
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