#it really bothers me that people are okay with an industry only having a 5% ''success'' rate

[metaknightsoul]

That…that story…

everyone talks about the clothing store and honestly everyone is expected to wear stuff from that store and you're a little young and curious, and what's the harm of looking. it's in all the magazines and everyone knows okay some of the things are ugly but! like generally everyone thinks we should be wearing these clothes. they're elite. they're precious. they are a symbol of wealth and status.

you walk into the clothing store and see a very nice sweater and you've been wanting to stay warm so you pick up the sweater. it turns immediately into a horrible fizzing froth, rushing over your skin, faintly acidic. it's tacky, it leaves behind a residue. horrified and a little ashamed - did you do it wrong? - you reach out blindly and your hands find a shirt. that one dissolves too. you think of the phrase you break it, you bought it. how much money did you just accidentally spend on that shirt and that sweater, both things that you'll never be able to wear.

more confused than anything, you turn to the first person you see, but she's experiencing the same thing, her brows furrowed. "i've been here since i was 13," she says. "one of these days i'll actually get to try on something."

you were raised with horror movies, so you look for an escape instead of trying to stay. you go to the front desk and wait in the front line and when you finally get to the front, a very angry man is sitting there, scowling at you. "i think your store is broken," you say to him. "i can't pick up any of your clothes. they don't work."

it is as if you have said something vile. every person within earshot takes a step back from you. the man gives you a cool look. "these clothes are good for you," he says.

"no, i know that," you've read about them, "but i can't seem to actually hold them."

again, everyone seems to think you've said the wrong thing. some of them are holding shirts, so obviously some clothes work. those are the people you hear whispering first. lazy. someone murmurs. i managed fine, you hear. i just had to keep trying.

the man taps a sign next to him. in big bold print: not everyone can have this.

"okay, um. if you're not going to be helpful, i'm just going to... not buy this," you manage, feeling yourself flush with heat. why are you so embarrassed? their clothes are the thing that aren't working.

"i don't have time for people who don't dress themselves well," he says. "it's disgusting."

you don't know what else to say because actually you dress fine, you're pretty sure, you're just not in their clothes. you leave the store.

but your hands are still tacky from before. you find yourself weirdly sensitive about your clothes. maybe you should go back in, try again? there were people who were able to make the clothes stay present, you might have just been doing something weird.

plus there's the rest of the world. how people look at you in airports. how shame rushes over your cheeks during job interviews, worried you don't look "professional" enough. the people across you are all wearing those clothes, and you're not. in the doctor's office, the nurse's eyebrows skyrocket. are you sure you actually went into the store and tried on the clothes? you're staring at her - i'm here to see about my cough, not about my wardrobe.

but of course it fucking matters. when you google it, you find out that most people can only hold onto the clothes for about two years or so, and then they fizzle out too. that the clothes only "stick" for 5% of customers. it just means that any person in those clothes matters more. it's a scarcity. at first, you're horrified by the idea of something that almost never works. but you learn it soon enough: being in the 5% means you have taste, class, are exceptionally pretty.

you try to ask why exactly it's these clothes, but you usually are answered with an eye roll. you ask why the prices are so high. why nobody seems to care about the way their clothes leave that weird strange residue for years later. there's a sizing chart online you find, hoping it might explain your weird inability to lift anything. most of the news articles all read the same thing - this chart was made by someone cruel and definitely isn't accurate, but for some reason it is still used as our golden rule.

so you go again. you fall too. it's worth it to try. even kind of ironically. even kind of privately, shamefully. this time you go and manage to hold onto socks, but it means you sometimes get that strange residue on your floors. you get used to the tackiness after a while, but when you manage to hold onto pants, you discover the tackiness spreads. sure, it's irritating - this sense there's a barrier between everything you touch, even you and your friends - but it's worth it, because people notice you're in those pants. and you don't want to be one of the 95% who lose them after all this fucking work you put in, so you let the tack get all over everything until it dries down into a fine powder that coats your floor in a brick red flurry. when you walk, your footprints look bloody, so you just learn to step gently.

and since it worked for you once, like gambling - you will come back. you will teach others how to get into the store. you will tell your own children - oh, you just have to keep trying at the clothing store. you will let others treat you badly when you are not wearing the right things. you will spend all that money over and over and over again and you will feel ugly if you are not wearing their brand. you are simply treated better if you dress like this. you feel better if you dress like this, secretly winning over your friends who are between sizes. it doesn't matter how much time you spend at the store, missing birthday cakes and parties because you're trying to make a dress look nice before dissolving. what matters is that when it works, all that relief and joy and peace rushes in. when it works, people finally love you again.

the diet industry promises you - it'll all be okay, once you're thin.

[pocket-watcher]

So I (female) suck at holding eye contact in informal/social situations but can maintain a hard stare in professional/serious ones, even if I'm not fully paying attention. Could I have a hypno-fic about someone taking advantage of that?

Hi lil Watchling! No problem, I’m sure I can whip something up for you…

We first met at a bar.

They were wonderful, really. Very interesting to talk to. Engaged in what I had to say. They asked me about my interests, where I worked, what I did for pleasure.

Such a charming person.

And attractive too, not that you could tell I thought that from the intense gaze I had on my half-empty glass.

The night had continued and they began to trail off… most people didn’t last this long. Only friends who knew how hard it was for me to keep eye contact. I was so interested, though. I just couldn’t fully express it in a way they’d understand.

The second time I met them was at this little after-work thing.

I hated not leaving as soon as the clock hit 5, but it was important to build good relationships with coworkers or something like that. My manager had suggested it.

In fact, she stood about ten feet away schmoozing with the CEO’s son.

Wonderful,

That was when I bumped into them again, and learnt their name was Kai.

Again, they really helped guide the conversation to myself as well as their own input, which I greatly appreciated.

And once again I could feel them pulling away slightly the more I stared at my nails instead of at them.

We were sitting in a small booth when my manager approached.

“Hey Riley, can I run over some proposal stuff for tomorrow? There’s been a few tweaks and I don’t want you to be caught unaware tomorrow.”

My eyes locked onto hers as she slid into the booth.

That was when I heard Kai make a sort of choking sound.

“Are you okay?” I asked, watching my manager spread documents out on the table.

“Yes, fine thank you. Is it alright if I stay and listen?”

My manager looked quizzically at them.

“Not at all, are you interested in working here?” She said.

“I am, actually. I find your work miles ahead of the industry.”

Kai could charm anyone. I was sure of it, as my manager smiled at him and turned to talk me through the next day’s proposal.

I could feel Kai watching me, but I didn’t pay them too much mind. They were thinking, though. About what, I had no clue.

The next day went incredibly smoothly.

A week later my manager put me in charge of interviewing for a new role in our team. I told her I wouldn’t let her down.

The first applicant seemed nervous, and couldn’t meet my eyes. I didn’t hold that against them though. They warmed up as the interview continued and by the end I saw them as a strong contender.

The next told me to smile and that my stare was unnerving. I told him to go to another company.

The third was, surprisingly, Kai.

“I know, I probably should have warned you… I hope you can be impartial with me?” They smiled, and for the first time I held eye contact into those deep, warm brown eyes.

It was no bother though. Of course I could remain impartial.

I rattled off questions and Kai answered them confidently.

Their eyes lit up as they talked about confidence and taking charge, making the role their own. I felt myself losing focus on the interview at hand.

Under the desk I pinched myself awake slightly, continuing, but my thoughts drifted back to their eyes.

The way they caught the fluorescent lights above. The way they seemed to almost shine. It was mesmerising.

“Um, are you okay?” They asked me, after I’d been silent a beat too long.

“Yes, fine.” I cleared my throat, tucking my hair behind my ears. “Sorry, the question was what makes you feel like you deserve this role?”

Kai fidgeted for a moment, not once breaking eye contact with me.

“I think because I’m trustworthy. I’m someone who’s reliable and you could trust to take care of any problem, big or small. I’m strong in the face of resistance, and I’m good at leading others. I’m also a great people person,” they laughed, “I don’t know why but it seems that most people tend to like me.”

My pen dropped to the floor, my hand now entirely limp.

Something about it all had just captured me so thoroughly,

Kai stood and leant over the desk.

“Finally, that was more of a chase than I expected, but I got you in the end, didn’t I?” They tucked my hair behind my ear.

My mouth hung open, and my mind was empty.

“Now, how about you give me that job and I can make you feel this nice and relaxed and fuzzy every day?”

[accio-victuuri]

xiao zhan - GQ February issue cover story 1-3

01 Relaxation

The studio is on the Huangpu River in Shanghai. Xiao Zhan was wrapped in a black down jacket, took off his shoes, and sat cross-legged on the corner of the sofa, looking very relaxed. The filming came to an end for the time being. Although he had been working continuously for more than 7 hours, there was no trace of fatigue on his face. This is a face that always attracts attention. A few months ago, the studio released a set of Xiao Zhan's birthday photos, and sharp-eyed netizens immediately noticed that his face had become "rounder." In order to play the role of Guo Jing in the movie "The Legend of the Condor Heroes" directed by Tsui Hark, Xiao Zhan gained weight before joining the cast. His cheeks were no longer so thin, and his figure was obviously stronger. In the photo, he had Wearing Hu hawthorn children, it shows a bit of vicissitudes of life.

Strictly speaking, "The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Greatest Man" is Xiao Zhan's second filmmaking. There are many previous versions of the character Guo Jing, and the pressure on him is obvious.

On the day of the cover shoot for "GQ", Xiao Zhan got up very early to go for a run. He couldn't help but think, my god, I'm going to lose muscle again after sweating so much. He debated whether to continue, and finally decided to run for 30 minutes. When the time came, he thought that body fat would start to be consumed after 30 minutes, so he ran for another 10 minutes.

It's all about work. "Actually, I don't want to run. running will lose muscles, but I have to run to reduce swelling." After the filming, he planned to do weight training again no matter how late it was. An actor's self-cultivation is to be ready to shape the image for the role at any time, but he must strictly control his diet and manage his body shape. Xiao Zhan regards both as professional standards and requires himself to do so.

Before meeting, I thought Xiao Zhan would be very cautious about interviews. To my surprise, Xiao Zhan had a rare sense of relaxation, answered all questions, and even had some humor. Mentioning that actors should observe characters in life, he commented on the sitting postures of several people present. When asked what he had not expected after joining the industry, his answer was that he could not eat whatever he wanted like his high school classmates.

The interview lasted nearly two hours. I was curious. In the past few years, Xiao Zhan has been under huge attention. What kind of experience has it been for him?

Xiao Zhan said that many times, he has forgotten this matter. It didn't cause him a lot of trouble in life. The most "cruel" thing may be, "You can't eat as much as you want." "

I still sneak out to ride a bicycle, take a walk, and do a CityWalk. Only once, just now in after walking in the alley for 5 minutes, I was recognized. I also sneaked into the cinema to watch a movie. No one will care about you, really. after leaving the Internet, many things will be solved easily. Sometimes the world is right in front of us.

He has a lot of things he wants to do, such as taking the subway and going to the mall. "I will really take the subway, maybe tomorrow. It's so normal. I used to do it every day. Take the subway." For Xiao Zhan, this is his real life. The voices on social media no longer bother him. "After all these years, I'm still bothered. Am I still alive? (Laughs) It's really okay."

At this stage, Xiao Zhan is very satisfied with his living situation, " I have a job, a life of my own, and an audience that likes me, so I have nothing to be dissatisfied with."

02 Becoming an actor

To some extent, Xiao Zhan’s sense of relaxation stems from his increasingly clear goals. The voices from the outside world no longer bothered him. He knew what he wanted and what he didn't want. Now, he is doing more subtraction for himself. In the past two years, he has rarely appeared in variety shows, taking the career of actor as his most important goal at the moment.

In 2023, three film and television dramas starring Xiao Zhan will be broadcast, and each role will be a challenge for Xiao Zhan. During the interview, Xiao Zhan said many times that he was "under a lot of pressure", and he said this almost when reviewing every stage. But his tone is light, without the heaviness of complaints, more like an analysis and summary afterwards. The reasons are often specific and objective: the first time he comes into contact with a performance without physical objects, the first time he takes the leading role alone, the first time he plays a modern drama...

"Where Dreams Begin" is a script that Xiao Zhan particularly likes. He likes stories about that generation very much. When he was a child, he watched some movies and TV series, such as "Days Related to Youth" and "Happiness Like Flowers". When he mentioned the 1970s and 1980s, he felt that the sun was bright and colorful. Many people say that Xiao Chunsheng is a perfect character, but in Xiao Zhan's opinion, this is his biggest flaw. He thinks this character is very interesting and wants to give it a try. Xiao Chunsheng is a young man from Beijing. How to express the character's momentum and speak authentic Beijing dialect is a big challenge for Xiao Zhan, who has lived in Chongqing since childhood.

Shiying's character in "Yuguyao" is aloof. Because he didn't want to live up to everyone's expectations for his costume look, Xiao Zhan tried his best to lose weight before joining the cast. ""Yuguyao" is a script I got in 2020. Among the things I can choose, this is the script with the most complete characters and the most delicate emotions. It is also very logical and self-consistent. It is my The best choice."

"Sunshine By My Side" is the script that Xiao Zhan has been exposed to for the longest time, starting at the end of 2019. Although Sheng Yang in "Sunshine By My Side" closely overlapped with Xiao Zhan's career before his debut, he had to move his life as a designer to the screen and act in a natural and convincing manner. "Modern dramas and life dramas are really an unfamiliar field." At first, he was too eager to finish his lines and memorized them so well that when he said them, it made people think that no one in life would speak like this. Later, he discovered that in modern dramas, The logic of where to break the lines and where to put the emphasis is actually very strong.

In the past few years, he has played soldiers, doctors, designers, and Beijing youths. "There are no special considerations, it all happens naturally." He rarely plays repeated roles. But when choosing a script, Xiao Zhan will not deliberately avoid themes that he has acted in before. He will just put himself in the audience's perspective to feel whether he can be moved by it.

In 2021, Xiao Zhan starred in the drama "A Dream Like a Dream", playing the role of Patient No. 5. On the day of the premiere, many topics related to the drama appeared on Weibo hot searches, becoming a phenomenon-level event in the drama circle.

Xiao Zhan hesitated for a long time about starring in "A Dream Like a Dream". There are many reasons for hesitation: he is from Chongqing, not from a professional background, the play cannot be negative, it lasts for 8 hours, "A Dream Like a Dream" is very famous, and there have been many classic versions of the role of Patient No. 5 before. But after reading the script, Xiao Zhan felt that he must act.

Drama is a very pure thing. Dozens or even hundreds of people gather in a space to tell a story. This is an experience that is impossible to bring about in film and television dramas. Xiao Zhan yearns for it. He began to recite his lines crazily, and moved himself to Tangshan to rehearse intensively with the entire crew for more than a month, grinding out one scene after another.

"I was very nervous for the first performance. I am still nervous now when I think about it. When Gu Xianglan rang the bell, I became excited." The moment the light hit him, Xiao Zhan felt that everything had stopped. He could not see the expressions of the audience under the stage. There was only white left in front of me.

Xiao Zhan adjusted his breathing and began to speak his lines. The director said that the actors in the opening scene controlled the rhythm of the entire story, so every time Xiao Zhan said that line, it was when Xiao Zhan was most nervous. As he spoke, he would gradually forget about his nervousness and let out a long sigh of relief after speaking. I thought, ah, it’s finally over.

Once, at the end of the first half of the performance, Patient No. 5 went on stage to find Gu Xianglan with a painting and an address, and had a long monologue. Walking to the middle of the stage, Xiao Zhan suddenly lost his voice. He couldn't remember the beginning of the next word. After hesitating for about 1.5 seconds, he chose to skip that word and continued. The audience shouldn't be able to tell, he thought. He didn't think of that word until the end of the show.

"I couldn't remember it when I got to the break room, so I turned over the script and saw that it was this word."

"Which word?"

"A very common word, for example, drinking pure water. What kind of water was I thinking about? Distilled water? Tap water? Boiled water ? I just can’t remember." Xiao Zhan replied.

Acting is a very profound knowledge. Xiao Zhan said: "We have only scratched the surface so far." When filming "Sunshine By My Side", the opposing actors were all experienced actors. In terms of acting skills, Xiao Zhan is still very immature and exerts all his strength. Too much force will easily leave performance marks. He told himself to "be less pretentious", feel everything the other party throws at him with his heart, and respond honestly.

Xiao Zhan once expressed that due to life experiences, it is difficult to understand many characters. He discussed this issue with his seniors, "Everyone has two opinions. Some people say that of course you have to go through it. Without experience, you don't have a picture. How can you act? What you act is all fake. Also there is a voice saying that everything can be solved by technology."

Xiao Zhan's own answer is, "act more and be exposed to all types of genres" and "cooperate with more good teams, actors, and directors."

"To be honest, what I can do now is to act what my mind can touch. It's really difficult for me to act something that I have no concept of at all. Maybe in the future, through a work or with more good directors, Working with actors can solve my confusion. I look forward to this day coming soon."

03 Breaking away

Relaxation is the side of Xiao Zhan. He can balance part of the pressure, but there is part of it that is difficult for him to resolve. Xiao Zhan doesn't sleep well. "It's very difficult for me to fall asleep, and I sleep very lightly. It's like sleeping and not sleeping, which affects my state the next day." Especially when he just joined the team and is in a state of high nervousness. In this state, he often dreams about filming on location and not being able to do it well.

When he goes to different cities, Xiao Zhan will bring the same type of pillows and quilts. "I will bring everything that can help me sleep well." He has also tried aromatherapy lamps, lavender essential oil, and various other products that make him fall asleep when applied on his body. Medicines, sprays that can be sprayed on the pillow to make him fall asleep, melatonin, and meditation music. Finally, he found that the best things that made him sleep well were eye masks, earplugs, and not looking at the phone, "because I know that if I look at it, then I will Don't sleep, just get up."

Not long ago, Xiao Zhan found an old book "Departure" at home. That was recommended to him by his company boss when he was working as a designer. The concept of organizing life described in the book made Xiao Zhan start to rethink what he wanted and what he should give up.

Xiao Zhan has a particularly axial side to his character, "If I insist on something that I think is right, it will be difficult to be convinced." For example, if he decides to be an actor, he doesn't want to do anything other than an actor, " Come on, let's debate. No one is right or wrong. The team is also for your own good. Isn't it a good thing to have a lot of work? But for me, I have to subtract because some things are really not what I want. "

Xiao Zhan's acting experience began with a story about "an older amateur chasing dreams in the entertainment industry." He participated in the talent show at the age of 24, learned dance from scratch, debuted as a boy band, acted in online dramas, and played supporting roles in theater movies. Until he became popular in 2019, Xiao Zhan also became a star that attracted attention.

When you decide to do something, you must try your best to do it well. This is what Xiao Zhan has been taught since childhood. When he was in junior high school, his family bought him a mobile phone. When he first started sending text messages, he often used spaces to replace punctuation marks. His father said to him sternly, "What about the punctuation marks? Why is there no period at the end of the sentence?" From that time on, Xiao Zhan paid great attention to punctuation marks.

Xiao Zhan has been competitive since he was a child, and he doesn't want to miss any opportunity when it comes to things he can control. When he was taking the bus to school, he would worry about the person on the bus who missed the stop because he fell asleep.

For things that he cannot control, he will remind himself not to argue and learn to accept them. Until then, do what you can.

When asked which drama Xiao Zhan worked hard for, Xiao Zhan's answer was surprising. He said: "Every one." Before becoming famous, he auditioned for many dramas and went through interviews to enter the final round. , I had already put on makeup to try out the scene, but was replaced. Of course, scripts will be handed over now, but Xiao Zhan always tells himself that people only have intentions and can hand them over to many people at the same time. When he encounters something he really likes, he will take the initiative to meet with the director and explain his understanding of the character.

[ha-rinrin]

FRACTURED PHATS

Y/N, a determined CEO, has built a successful enterprise from scratch, only to face fierce competition from Hyunjin, the head of a rival company.

First chapter of this new series :))

01- Company next door

“what are you doing in my building” I say clearly annoyed

“trust me, this is the last place I would rather be” he spat with so much venom it hurted

“then why the fuck are you here Hyunjin” I spat back

The man I was just talking to flinches his eyes between between him and me, clearly uncomfortable.

“we need to talk Y/n” his eyes filled with hatred

12 hours prior

“here comes one of my favorites CEO’s, do me a favor and tell this douchebag to let me in? “ Felix grumbled with a bright smile on his face, I smiled back “of courses sunshine, next time he comes jut let him in” I advise to the guard. “yes mrs Eun” replies the guard. “lets go Lix”

“I missed my couch, and the view of course” purred my best friend as soon as we entered my office, the sky of Korea clear behind me due to the enormous glass wall, “why haven’t you visited me?” I question with a pout. While sitting on the glass table, not bothering to sit on my fancy chair “you know how’s Hyunjin with me coming to see you” Felix pouted, I frowned at the memory of the man. “why are you still working for him anyways?, you can always work here” I questioned, “I really appreciate the offer Y/nnie but I already have my place at the company and he’s my best friend, you know this” ” he explains “I knowww but how can you be friends with him?” Its just so unreasonable that such a pure soul like Llix would be friends with the most annoying, self-centered person I know, “you guys don’t get along ´cause of the rivalry you guys have due to the company’s” stated Felix laughing, I just stayed silent. “Can’t deny that” i answered

Eun enterprise and Red Lights corporation have always been rivals in the industry, I built my company from scratch ever since I was 18, 6 years of hard work were definitely whort wit, as now im the CEO of one of the best, most known business in the country, here’s where Red lights Corporation comes in, one year after from my company’s opening. He decided to launch his own business, Felix being his right hand.

“but he’s such a pain in the ass all the fucking time is unbelievable” I proclaimed. Just as Felix was opening his mouth, some annoying boss felt the need to call him. “Hyun?” Answers Lix. I can hear the clearly angry Hyunjin on the phone. “I swear.. she’s sweet don’t day that.. hyun… okay okay just… fine, im coming in 5” he mutters, “looks like someone’s looking for you” I smirked. “I’ll be back for my couch·” shouts lix while rushing to the elevator. Just as it opened my assistant popped up, “Y/n I have some great news” she says excitedly “well hi there winter” I answer with amusement “u know u can call me by my real name right?” Forty raises an eyebrow in my direction “I know I know Min-Jeong” I smile sweetly at her, as my friend since kindergarten, I have a lot of care for her.

“Back to the great news” she continuos, “ some really important person wants to make an inversion in the company” winter says with a smirk, “how important are we talking about?”, “oh nothing is not like he isn’t the owner of one of the most important company’s that’s for sure” she says jokingly “u kidding” I ask, there have been a lot of people wanting to make deals with us but never that big, “his name is changbin”

…

“THE SEO CHANGBIN??”

“The one an only” frosty’s smirk never leaving her face for one second, “shut up” I cover my mouth in shook “he’s like.. rich rich” my eyes couldn’t be more open. Seo Changbin is the owner of one of the most important company’s, not only in Korea but also in Europe, this is that big of a deal.

“This could elevate the business to the point were we could expand to Europe” I exclaim in absolute shook

“Hes coming here tomorrow morning to talk about the deal”

“Better be ready then” I say as I smile

“You can’t stop smiling can you?”

“Im sorry!!”

“Welcome mr. Seo, Im Eun Y/n, CEO of Eun enterprise” I give him a welcoming smile as I introduce myself while we are in the lobby walking towards the elevator to get to my office.

“Oh dear you can call me Changbin, I’m really exited to get to know you” as he says that I just look at him taken by surprise, he can be very handsome but business is business, since this company started I was determined to not cross my personal life with my work. He notices how weirded out I am

“And the company of course” I can see the nerves in his posture and how his eyes are moving way too much but I decide to stay silent as we enter the elevator.

“What a nice office you have” he exclaims as he is inspecting every single inch of my office

“Thank you, we can take a seat here” I suggest while im pointing to two armchair facing each other whit a glass table in the middle. Yes, im fan of glass okay?. After he sat on the chair we start talking about the deal, everything goes well, I can already see my company in different part of the word.

“Of course I would want certain part of the income” starts changbin

“How much would we be talking about?”

“Well..”

He couldn’t finish his sentence before someone comes in.

what are you doing in my building” I say standing from my chair, clearly annoyed

“trust me, this is the last place I would rather be” his eyes drift to the seated man, his eyes filled with rage

“then why the fuck are you here Hyunjin” I spat

The man I was just talking to flinches his eyes between him and me, clearly uncomfortable.

“we need to talk Y/n”

He seems to notice just now the presence of the about to be new investor

“In private” Hyunjin musters between grilled teeth

“Oh don’t worry, I was just about leave, Y/n I will email you the date of the next reunion, now please excuse me” I can’t even say anything before he’s in the elevator spreading going to the lobby.

“Great, you just made me lose an important investor, what the fuck do you want, who even let you in?” I say loudly almost shouting at him

“Well first, don’t fucking shout at me, second, he literally said we was going to set a date for another reunion don’t be dramatic, third, we have a much bigger issue” remarks hwang

“Don’t tell me what to do Hwang, and what is this “big issue” you are talking about” I answer, doing quotes

“There’s a new company in the market casually doing the exact same products as we are” he whispers

“Hold up” I raise my hand in sign to let me process this, “ do u have a picture?” questioned.

“Yes, I even have all te comparisons between their product and ours, they are not just copying me but you too, also doing some type of mixed product between both our ideas”

“Great, show me the pictures of what they are selling and their name” I demand

“Cmon I have them in my office” he informs me as he’s already in the elevator

“Do you really expect me to just show up at your company?” I laugh

“Believe me, I hate the thought of you in my office but do you want to let the unoriginal copycat ruin your company and mine? Be my fucking guest” okay, now he’s clearly annoyed and pissed

“Fine.” I mustered

As we enter Red Lights corporation I can feel all the stares and shocked looks as we walk side by side.

“Do you think they’re dating?” whispers one secretary to the other “I don’t know but they sure would make a great couple” as I hear that I can see Hyunjin smirking, he also heard.

We make our way through the bustling corridors of Red Lights Corporation. The building’s sleek, modern design feels both impressive and intimidating. Hyunjin leads the way with a confidence that seems almost rehearsed, though he’s clearly on edge. I follow, feeling the weight of the stares from the employees we pass.

"Here we are," he announces, stopping in front of a glass door that slides open to reveal his office. It’s as luxurious as you’d expect from someone in his position—large desk, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a minimalist aesthetic.

“Take a seat I guess” Hyunjin says, gesturing to the chairs opposite his desk. I sit down, crossing my arms and trying to suppress my irritation.

“Alright, Hwang. Let’s see what you’ve got,” I say, my tone clipped.

Hyunjin sits behind his desk and pulls out a file. He flips it open and spreads out several photographs and reports. Each page shows a side-by-side comparison of our products and those of the new company, along with notes detailing the similarities and overlaps.

“This is what they’re selling,” he says, pointing to the pictures. “Their products are strikingly similar to ours, and they’ve even incorporated features from your line.”

I study the images carefully. The resemblance is undeniable—same design elements, similar functionality. It’s like they took our ideas and just tweaked them slightly.

“What’s their name?” I ask, still absorbing the information.

“Veritas Industries,” Hyunjin replies. “They’ve been gaining traction fast, and it’s clear they’re targeting the same market we are.”

I raise an eyebrow. “And you’re telling me this now because…?”

“Because,” he says, leaning forward, “I need your help sadly. If we both tackle this problem together, we can neutralize the threat. If we don’t, we risk losing significant market share to them.”

I give him a skeptical look. “Why would you help me? You and your company have always been a thorn in my side and vice versa.”

Hyunjin’s expression softens slightly. “Because it’s in both our best interests. If Veritas continues to copy us, it’s only a matter of time before they start eating into our profits. We can either waste time fighting each other or pool our resources and deal with this threat head-on.”

His argument is sound, and I can’t deny the urgency of the situation. I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “Fine. What do you propose we do?”

“First, we need to gather more intelligence on Veritas—find out who’s behind it and their strategy. Next, we should consider legal action to protect our intellectual property. And, of course, we’ll need to step up our own R&D to stay ahead.”

I nod, already formulating a plan in my mind. “Alright. I’ll start by getting my team on this. But don’t think this means I’m going to be friendly with you.”

Hyunjin smirks. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Just then, the office door opens and a young woman steps in, her eyes darting between us. “Mr. Hwang, I have those documents you requested.”

Hyunjin takes the papers from her and then turns back to me. “I’ll have my team coordinate with yours. Let’s set up a meeting for tomorrow to go over the details.”

I stand up, ready to leave. “Sounds good. I’ll see you then.”

I step into the elevator and the doors close, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I’m not sure what the future holds, but I’m ready to face whatever comes next—whether it’s with Hyunjin’s help or not.

The elevator ride down is silent, my mind racing with the possibilities of what working with Hyunjin could mean for both our companies. Despite my best efforts, I can’t shake the image of him from my mind—his intense gaze, the way his jaw tightened when he spoke. There’s something about him that gets under my skin, and it’s not just business.

When the elevator dings and the doors open, I step out into the lobby and head towards the exit. As I step back on my own office, winter is already waiting for me. “Dare to explain me why I just saw you and Hyunjin together?” There ´s a slight shook in her voice.

Just dealing with some kind of copycat trying to copy and paste our ideas” I say lightly

“Oh shit, again”?”

“Yep, but this time its not only me but hwangs company too”

“Okay that’s come audacity”

“I know right?, anyways tomorrow we’re gonna met for a meeting to talk about this”

“Ohh” she teases

“Oh come on you now how im with mixing work with personal business” I roll my eyes

“A little bit of losing up doesn’t hurt anyone Y/n, its been a while since your last relationship”

“Yeah, then my ex made a company right next to mine”

[oddygaul]

The Boy and the Heron

God damn this movie is a hot mess. The pacing is all over the place; the tone is all over the place. It feels like it’s trying to be a metaphor for a dozen different things, but none of them come through particularly well, and it ends up being a big, unpolished jumble of ideas. Plus, in its eagerness to foreground those deeper themes, fundamental things like character motivations, goals, and narrative cause-and-effect are left by the wayside, leading to much of the movie feeling like a disconnected series of events with little tying them together.

I understand the desire for an artist to make something that’s solely for themselves, or to write a story with the primary goal of deeper thematic resonance; in my opinion, though, if what you're writing has gotten to the point where the basic A to B plot of your story doesn’t really make sense, I think you may have gone too far.

Now, a work that’s all subtext, no plot can work if the vibe is there - that’s pretty much the definition of a tone piece, and I fuck with a lot of tone pieces. In this case, though, I did not think the vibe was there. The tone bounces from a measured, somber meditation on grief, to a wondrous journey through a strange land, to a fast-paced goofy caper when the parakeets get involved… I didn’t feel much of a coherent tonal throughline.

Okay, so fine, the themes?

A lot of people are saying the whole movie is about Miyazaki’s struggle with leaving behind his legacy without a direct heir. While that’s a compelling idea, that subplot is introduced roughly… *checks notes* 5/6ths of the way through Boy and the Heron, so you wouldn’t exactly call the movie a very effective vessel for that message, would you?

Was it about Mahito seeing his mother again, to move on from her death? She miraculously appears but they barely talk. Is it about accepting his stepmom into his life? Well, she’s gone for half the movie. Is it about rejecting fantasy / escapism to live in the real world? Well, okay, but the stepmom is the one that went in there in the first place and Mahito hated it from the jump, so no one really changed their minds here.

Speaking of the stepmom, it’s weird as hell that Mahito’s process of accepting his dad immediately marrying his dead wife’s sister is treated like a personal journey. No, that’s a weird fucking thing to have happen to you, and you better believe a kid is gonna be fucked up about that for a while. I understand this isn’t out of the norm for the setting / time period, but it clearly bothers Mahito. I don’t see how a lonesome, magical journey to another world is the right salve for those feelings as opposed to like, a frank and open conversation with his dad.

—

Miyazaki once famously said that the problem with the modern anime industry is that no one draws from real life anymore - that character designers learn how to draw anime girls only by copying other anime girls, turning the entire industry into a grisly moe ouroboros devoid of any authenticity.

What the fuck is this, Hayao? Did you design this by looking at a real human being? Or is this a baachan based on a previous Ghibli baachan which was itself based on another Ghibli baachan? The moe ouroboros tolls for us all, Hayao. It tolls for us all.

—

Having vented those frustrations, there’s a lot of gorgeous stuff in this movie, of course.

The stepmom’s house is so neat - the modern, western-style house built straight onto the classical Japanese architecture, Winchester-mansion style.

As opaque as Mahito was to me, it’s funny as hell how aggro the kid is. It was fuckin on SIGHT with the heron, bro.

Everyone is so stoked about these birds shitting on them all the time

The world of the tower had a very different vibe to Ghibli’s classics that was pretty cool - a very Greek / Elysium feel to much of it, a place stuck between life and death.

This is the bougiest way I’ve ever seen someone drink water

these weird fucks

—

When taking the lore at face value, it’s wild how this movie is basically an Annihilation + Bloodborne lovechild. So basically an extraterrestrial meteor crashes from the sky, and begins terraforming the area around it; as it does so, it distorts not only space, but time itself. Much like the wildlife in Area X, the parakeets enter the tower and are drastically altered to serve their environment’s needs. The way the tower seems to hold onto alternate versions of people that have entered and keeps them there, stuck outside of time, is reminiscent of what happens to the Southern Reach trilogy’s research team.

And then on top of that, we have the great uncle calling Mahito’s stepmother inside the Nightmare of Mensis, excuse me, the tower, so that she can give birth inside, allowing the child to ascend and become the ruler of the realm?

Oh Amygdala, oh amygdala! Have mercy on the poor heron.

Just saying, ‘the Heron isn’t actually magic, it’s merely a lookalike biological simulacra of a heron created by the reality-warping crash-landed U.F.O.’ wasn’t on my bingo card going into this movie. lol

[porcupine-girl]

Full Text of Xiao Zhan GQ Interview via Apple Translate

I took @tdkeh's screenshots of the interview and ran them through Apple translate, results below.

COVER STORY Cover Story

The studio was by the Huangpu River in Shanghai. Xiao Zhan was wrapped in a black down jacket, took off his shoes, and sat cross-legged in the corner of the sofa. He looked very relaxed. The shooting came to an end for the time being. Although he had been working for more than 7 hours in a row, there was no trace of fatigue on his face.

This is a face that attracts attention all the time. A few months ago, the studio posted a group of Xiao Zhan's birthday blockbusters, and immediately sharp-eyed netizens found that the face had "rounded". In order to play the role of Guo Jing in the film "The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Great" directed by Xu Ke, before entering the group, Xiao Zhan gained weight, his cheeks were no longer so thin, and his figure was obviously strong. In the photo, he had a hawthorn, showing a slight vicissitudes of life.

Strictly speaking, "The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Great" is Xiao Zhan's second film. Guo Jing's role has many pearls and jade in the previous version. His

On the day of shooting the cover of Zhizu GQ, Xiao Zhan got up early and ran. He couldn't help thinking, "Oh, my God, I'm sweating so much that I'm going to lose muscle again, right?

He struggled with whether to continue or not, and finally decided to run for 30 minutes. When the time was up, he thought that his body fat began to consume after 30 minutes, and he ran for another 10 minutes.

Everything is for work." In fact, I don't want to run. Running will lose muscle, but I have to run to reduce the swelling. After the shooting, he planned to do weight training no matter how late it was. The actor's self-cultivation is ready to create an image for the character at any time, but he must strictly control his diet and manage his figure. Xiao Zhan regarded both as professional norms and asked for himself.

Before the meeting, I thought that Xiao Zhan would be very cautious about the interview. Surprisingly, Xiao Zhan had a rare sense of relaxation, answering questions, and even a little humorous. When he mentioned that the actor had to observe the characters in his life, he took the opportunity to comment on the sitting posture of several people present. When asked what happened after entering the industry, he didn't expect that his answer was that he could not eat what he wanted to eat like his high school classmates.

The interview lasted for nearly two hours. I was curious. In the past few years, Xiao Zhan has been under great attention. What kind of experience is it for him?

Xiao Zhan said that many times, he has forgotten this matter and has not caused him much trouble in his life. The most "cruel" thing may be that "you can't eat freely."

"I still sneak out to ride a bike, take a walk, and CityWalk. Only once, I just walked in the alley for 5 minutes and was recognized. I also went to the cinema and watched movies. No one will care about you, really. After leaving the Internet, many things will be solved. Sometimes the world is in front of us. This is a misunderstanding, but we can't avoid this misunderstanding, so there is nothing we can do.

He has a lot of things he wants to do, such as squeezing the subway and shopping malls. "I will really squeeze the subway. Maybe tomorrow, it's too normal. I used to take the subway every day." For Xiao Zhan, this is his real life. The voice of social media no longer bothers him. "It's been so many years, and I'm still troubled. Do I still live?

(Laughter) It's really okay."

At this stage, Xiao Zhan is very satisfied with his life. "I have a job, my own life, and an audience who likes me. There is nothing to be dissatisfied with."

To some extent, Xiao Zhan's sense of relaxation comes from a clearer and clearer goal. The voice of the outside world no longer bothers him. He knows what he wants and what he doesn't want. Now, he is doing more subtraction for himself. In the past two years, he has rarely been in variety shows, taking the profession of actor as the most important goal at present.

In 2023, three film and television dramas starring Xiao Zhan will be broadcast, and each role is a challenge for Xiao Zhan. In the interview, Xiao Zhan said that he was "under a lot of pressure" many times, and he would say so when reviewing almost every stage. But his tone is brisk, without the heavy feeling of complaining, and more like an after-mort analysis and summary. The reasons are often specific and objective: the first time he came into contact with no physical performance, the first time he took the lead alone, and the first time he acted in modern drama…

"The Sea in the Dream" is a script that Xiao Zhan especially likes. He likes the stories of that generation very much. When he was a child, he watched some film and television dramas, Days Related to Youth, Happiness Like Flowers. When it comes to the 1970s and 1980s, he felt that the sun was shining and colorful. Many people say that Xiao Chunsheng is perfect, but in Xiao Zhan's opinion, this is exactly his biggest problem. He thinks this character is very interesting and wants to try it. Xiao Chunsheng is a young man from Beijing. How to perform the momentum of the character and speak authentic Beijing dialect is a big challenge for Xiao Zhan, who has lived in Chongqing since he was a child.

The shadow character in "Yugu Yao" is cold, because he didn't want to live up to everyone's expectations for his ancient costume modeling. Before entering the group, Xiao Zhan tried his best to lose weight. Yugu Yao is the script obtained in 2020. In the range I can choose, this is the most complete and emotional script of the characters, and it is very logical and self-consistent, which is my best choice.

"The Hot Sun with Me" is the script that Xiao Zhan has been in contact with for the longest time. Since the end of 2019, Sheng Yang in "The Hot Sun with Me" has highly coincided with Xiao Zhan's career before his debut, but he has to move his life as a designer to the front of the screen in a natural and convincing way. He is not sure about "modern drama, life The play is really a strange field. At first, he was too eager to finish the words and memorized them well. When he said it, it would make people feel that no one would talk like this in life. Later, he found that the lines in modern dramas were broken and which words were put in stress. The logic was actually very strong.

In the past few years, he has played soldiers, doctors, designers, and Beijing youth. "There is no special consideration, it's all natural." He rarely plays repetitive roles. However, when choosing the script, Xiao Zhan will not deliberately avoid the themes he has played before, but just put himself from the perspective of the audience to feel whether he can be moved by it.

In 2021, Xiao Zhan starred in the drama "Dream Like a Dream" and played the role of Patient No. 5. On the day of the premiere, many topics related to the play appeared on Weibo hot search.

Brown vests and trousers are all Gucci.

COVER STORY Cover Story

Starring in Dreamlike Dreams, Xiao Zhan hesitated for a long time. There are many reasons for hesitation: he is from Chongqing. He is a non-professional. He can't play NG for 8 hours. Dream Like a Dream is also very famous. There are many classic versions of the role of Patient No. 5. But after reading the script, Xiao Zhan felt that he must act.

Drama is a very pure thing. Dozens of people or even hundreds of people gathered in one space to tell a story. This is an impossible experience of filming and television dramas. Xiao Zhan yearns for it. He began to recite his lines crazily and locked himself in Tangshan and rehearsed with the whole crew for more than a month, one after another.

"I was very nervous in the first performance, and now I'm very nervous when I think about it. Gu Xianglan rang the bell, and I was excited." The moment the light hit his body, Xiao Zhan felt that everything was still. He could not see the expression of the audience, and there was only white in front of him.

Xiao Zhan adjusted his breath and began to speak his lines. The director said that the opening actor grasped the rhythm of the whole story, so every time he said that line, it was the most nervous time for Xiao Zhan. As he spoke, he would slowly forget to be nervous. After saying that, he breathed a sigh of relief and thought, ah, it's finally over.

Once, at the end of the first half, patient No. 5 took a picture and an address and went to the stage to find Gu Xianglan, with a large monologue. Walking to the middle of the stage, Xiao Zhan suddenly broke up. He couldn't remember the beginning of the next word. After hesitating for about 1.5 seconds, he chose to skip the word and continue. The audience should not be able to see it, he thought. He didn't remember the word until the end of the performance.

"I can't remember when I get to the lounge. I looked through the script and found that it was this word."

"A very common word, for example, drinking pure water, I'm thinking about what kind of water to drink? Distilled water? Tap water? Boiled water? I just can't remember. Be like

Performance is a very deep knowledge. Xiao Zhan said, "At present, I just touched a little fur." When shooting "The Hot Sun with Me", the actors were all experienced actors. In terms of acting skills, Xiao Zhan was still very young. If he tried too hard, it was easy to leave traces. He told himself to "design less", feel everything the other party threw to him, and reacted honestly.

Xiao Zhan once expressed that due to his life experience, many characters have difficulties in understanding. He discussed this issue with his predecessors, "Everyone also has two statements. Some people say that of course you have to experience it. If you don't have experience, you don't have a picture. How can you play it? What you play is fake. There is also a voice saying that everything can be solved by technology.

Xiao Zhan's own answer is "play more, get in touch with all types" and "work with more good teams, actors and directors".

"To be honest, what I can do now can only be touched by my mind. It's a little difficult for me to play things that have no concept at all. Maybe in the future, I will solve my confusion through a work or cooperation with more good directors and actors. I look forward to this day coming soon.

03 Broken away

Relaxation is Xiao Zhan's side. He can balance part of the pressure, but some of it is difficult for him to resolve. Xiao Zhan didn't sleep very well. "It's hard for me to fall asleep, and

I often dream of filming on the spot, but I can't shoot well.

When I go to different cities, Xiao Zhan will bring the same pillow and quilt. "I will bring everything that can make me sleep well." He also tried Yanyan lamp, lavender essential oil, all kinds of medicine that will fall asleep on his body, spray on the pillow that will fall asleep, melatonin, meditation music, and finally found that what could make him sleep well were eye masks, earplugs and no mobile phones. "Because I know that if I see it, then don't sleep, just get up."

Not long ago, Xiao Zhan found an old book "Duan She Li" at home. When I was a designer, the boss of the company recommended it to him. The concept of life sorting in the book made Xiao Zhan rethink what he wanted and what he should give up.

There is a special aspect of Xiao Zhan's personality. "If I insist on something, I think it's right, and it's hard to be convinced." For example, he decided to be an actor. He didn't want to do anything other than an actor. "If you force me, then let's argue. No one is right or wrong, and the team is also for your good. Isn't it a good thing to have a lot of work? But for me, I have to do subtraction, because some things are really not what I want.

Xiao Zhan's milk elimination experience began to be the next "Da Neng Tea Human Resources Forbidden Mother's Happy; Salvation. At the age of 24, he participated in the show and started to dance as a male group.

He made his debut, acted in online dramas, and played a supporting role in cinema movies. Until the fire in 2019, Xiao Zhan also became a high-profile star.

If you decide to do something, you should do your best. This is Xiao Zhan's education since he was a child. When he went to junior high school, his family bought him a mobile phone. At the beginning of text messages, he often replaced punctuation with spaces, and his father said to him very harshly, "What about punctuation? Why is there no period at the end of the sentence?" From that time on, Xiao Zhan was very concerned about punctuation.

Since he was a child, Xiao Zhan has been competitive. He doesn't want to miss any opportunity in what he can control. When he took the bus when he was in school, he would

The man in the car who passed the station because he was asleep was anxious.

For things that can't be controlled, he will remind himself not to compete and learn to accept them. Until then, do what you can.

I have also experienced the interview and entered the last round. I have had a makeup audition, but it was replaced. Of course, there will be a brush book handed over now, but Xiao Zhan always tells himself that they only have the intention and can hand it to many people at the same time. When he meets what he really likes, he will take the initiative to meet the director and explain his understanding of the role.

Black printed shirt Egonlab

Black jumpsuit Zickness

COVER STORY Cover Story

Xiao Zhan felt that it was very important to have a correct attitude.

Xiao Zhan's growth environment is the same that of many post-90s generation. Mom and Dad go to work, and Grandma cooks at home. He goes to and from school every day. If his exam results are not good, he will be beaten.

After dinner at 6:30 every night, the children will call him downstairs to play hide-and-seek, wooden man, and throw sandbags. Speaking of this, he will be swayed. These ordinary little things are now very precious. Xiao Zhan said that he was very grateful for the life of not breaking into the entertainment industry in the past 23 years. "I cherish it very much. I think it's good." He thought that if he hadn't entered the entertainment industry, he would live like his classmates and friends to eat with customers every day and stay up late to catch up with the design.

"Being seen" is a happy thing. No matter how busy the work is, Xiao Zhan never complains, "If you have a job, then work hard." When shooting "The rest of my life, please give me more advice", he was also recording the variety show "Our Song". During the interval of waiting for the scene, he wore headphones and hummed softly. Other actors came over curiously. Xiao Zhan smiled shyly and explained the song he was going to sing at night. No time, I really don't have time." At that time, work occupied almost all of his life.

Xiao Zhan rarely takes the initiative to give himself a holiday. "It's unrealistic," he said categorically. When he is most tired, he can fall asleep while sitting on the set.

This year, Xiao Zhan has a sense of urgency of "too little acting". "Compared with some predecessors, they have performed a lot of works in their thirties." Xiao Zhan knew very well that he could not rely on a play, and his acting skills took a big step forward. "This may be difficult for me to happen to me."

He once thought about whether to be an actor with a personal style or an actor that the audience will like. His answer is the latter, "Everyone may not be your fans, and they don't even have a special cold for you, but I know, he has broadcast a play. Do you want to watch it? His plays are all good. I want to do this. This is my current goal. Can you be the level of the actor I like? It's a long way to go. Take your time." More filming and teamwork with more good teams. At present, there is only one goal, and the rest will not be considered for the time being. Xiao Zhan said.

Q&A talk about performance

Zhizu GQ: When will it be clear to be an actor?

Xiao Zhan: When the public is paying more and more attention to me, I want to say, why can't I? I think I can.

Sometimes it shakes and I think it's so difficult. Why can't I do it? For example, the lines, why are the lines not good, and why can't the lines be said? Because I'm a southerner? I don't think so. Then I will think, how can I say it well? I can do it. Try it.

Zhizu GQ: In your opinion, what are the professional standards for actors?

Xiao Zhan: First of all, you are professional. This is a topic that can't be avoided. You can be a non-professional, but your business ability is excellent. This is what I want to do and what I am currently doing. I don't think I'm enough. It's too far away.

After being professional, attitude and love are also very important. Do you only treat it as a job or do you really like it? These are two concepts. If you just do a job, you may not be able to go far. But if you really like it, you will cry and laugh for it, which may be the motivation for you to stick to it.

And a strong body (laughs). In the past, I didn't feel tired when I was in my twenties, but now I will be very tired after staying up late. This is a terrible thing. It is important to have a strong body. This is your foundation.

Zhizu GQ: When you play which role or play, do you feel recognized?

Xiao Zhan: At the beginning, when it was His Royal Highness the Wolf, there was a lot of pressure at that time. The acting teacher would give me a lot of advice and guidance, and kept overturning Bai Ji's performance every day. It was a period of confusion. After you survive, you will find that you have grown up. After acting, you will gradually find a little feeling, and then come step by step. This is a cumulative process.

I think I act too little. Compared with some predecessors, they have performed a lot of works in their thirties. I still have too few works now, and I don't have enough accumulated enough.

Zhizu GQ: Will you be in a hurry?

Xiao Zhan: Yes. Because I think (improving acting skills) is a cumulative process. You can't take a big step by a play. This is difficult for me to happen, so you have to keep filming, but keep making good scenes and don't consume yourself.

Zhizu GQ: What are the reasons for the expansion of the three film and television dramas broadcast in 2023 from ancient costume dramas to period dramas and urban dramas?

Xiao Zhan: In fact, there is no consideration. It's a natural occurrence. I didn't deliberately avoid the theme I played before, but read the script. The script handed over at that time, I felt that I was attracted by a script at the moment, so I chose it, but it happened to be a theme that had not been played before.

Zhizu GQ: Will there be a sense of burnout when acting in ancient costume dramas?

Xiao Zhan: There are also many types of ancient costumes. Don't distinguish it from ancient costume dramas and modern dramas. It's just sticking a headgear and changing clothes. In fact, the core is the same, but the shell is different.

Zhizu GQ: The drama you made has been broadcasted. Will you watch it by yourself?

Xiao Zhan: I won't watch it, but I will watch it. I will choose the scene that I care about very much, which can be regarded as finding problems for myself.

Zhizu GQ: Will you open the bullet screen to watch it?

Xiao Zhan: I used to be really good at it. I felt very happy and laughed with everyone, but now I don't know how to open it.

Zhizu GQ: What kind of role do you want to play now?

Xiao Zhan: If I can choose, of course it's the best I haven't tried. I need freshness. If you do the same thing every day, you will be annoyed.

Zhizu GQ: What kind of actor do you want to be?

Xiao Zhan: I want to be an actor that the audience likes.

Zhizu GQ: Don't you have done it to make people like it?

Production: @Imperfect Studio

Clothing assistants: EKko, Shi Yawen, Ren Yixuan, Chen Yiyang

Xiao Zhan: No, no, I don't think it's enough. I once thought about whether to be an actor with a personal style or an actor that the audience likes. At present, I want to be an actor who likes the audience. You may not be a fan of you, and you are not particularly interested in you, but I know that he has broadcast a play. Do you want to watch it? His plays are all good. I want to do this. This is my current goal. Whether it can become the level of my favorite actor is a long way to go. Take your time.

Zhizu GQ: What are your favorite actors?

Xiao Zhan: Many, for example, Zhou Xun has always been my favorite actor. I watched her play (The Sea of Anger) recently. It's really great.

Zhizu GQ: What are your plans for your career in 2024?

Xiao Zhan: More filming and working with more good teams. At present, there is only one goal, and the rest will not be considered for the time being.

Talk about life

Zhizu GQ: Will the voice on social media bother you?

Xiao Zhan: It's not bothering. It's been so many years. I'm still troubled. Do I still live? ( (Laughter) It's really okay. I just need to know exactly what I'm doing. Every time you make a choice, you should clearly know what you are doing, what you want to give up, and what you want to do. So, it's okay, there may be more troubles for the team.

Zhizu GQ: Isn't your private life affected?

Xiao Zhan: Very normal! I can go out for a bike and a walk. When you walk on the street, no one really cares about you. It's really not what everyone thinks. Then I walked around freely.

Zhizu GQ: Is this a time to escape for you?

Xiao Zhan: It's time to relax. Why should I escape? I'm also in the third dimension. Where should I escape? This is my life. I'm the same as everyone else.

There are many things I really want to do, such as squeezing the subway and shopping malls, which are very similar to when I used to go to school. Maybe I will do it in the future.

Zhizu GQ: Will you miss the life of ordinary people?

Xiao Zhan: It's not that I miss it, but that I think I should do it. It's popular. I will really squeeze the subway. Maybe tomorrow, it's too normal. I used to take the subway every day. For me, there is nothing I can't do. What do you think I can do? Say hello and then leave. It's nothing more than that I don't want to cause confusion, trouble, and cause a bad response.

Talk about personality

Zhizu GQ: You haven't been on variety shows in recent years. Is this a conscious choice?

Xiao Zhan: Because it is not suitable, with my personality, I am too tired in the variety show. I will want to take care of everyone's feelings and make myself very tired. Since you know it's such a result, don't do it at all.

Zhizu GQ: What is your original intention to enter the entertainment industry?

Xiao Zhan: I really broke in inexplicably and ignorantly. How did you get to this point when you used to watch the talent show to interview those top-ranked players? The contestant said that I accompanied my friend to participate in the selection, but my friend lost the election, and I chose it. When I was a child, I felt that these were far away from me, but when I came to myself, it was really like this. I thought it was amazing. I took part in the draft, and then I came to the present, that's it. It's wonderful. Life is really interesting.

Zhizu GQ: What are the things that I didn't expect before after entering the industry?

Xiao Zhan: It's cruel not to eat freely. When I see that my former high school classmates already have children and are fat, I will sigh that I also want to eat freely like this. Their living condition will make me feel that if I hadn't chosen this road at that time, maybe we would all be the same. We have to socialize and stay up late to design. You don't know how tired it is to do design, but life is like this. There is nothing we can do.

Zhizu GQ: How does choosing this road change you?

Xiao Zhan: Maybe there is a lot of lack of life experience. At this point, my classmates and friends are far more than me. What they have experienced is real things. There is no seat for you and no light. You are living your own real life.

Zhizu GQ: Are you an emotionally stable person?

Xiao Zhan: Xiang, right, stable, fixed. But once I touch some points, I will become very unstable.

Zhizu GQ: For example?

Xiao Zhan: It's just… something that can't be said, hehe. Maybe when something incredible happens, you will feel angry when what you are doing, or when something normal people don't do happens. It may be a matter of privacy. If this point is broken through, I will "run away". Everyone has their own boundaries, and some people don't have a sense of proportion. I will stay away from such people. But when the boundary is broken again and again and touches the bottom line, I will be very angry.

Zhizu GQ: You once said that you have a particularly strong side of your personality. What exactly do you mean?

Xiao Zhan: In principle, I am a very good person. If I insist on something, I think it is right, and it is difficult to be persuaded.

For example, I want to be an actor. I don't want to do things other than actors. If you force me, then let's argue. No one is right or wrong, and the team is also for your good. Isn't it a good thing to have a lot of work? But for me, I have to do subtraction, because some things are really not what I want.

Zhizu GQ: Do you have a perfectionist side?

Xiao Zhan: I just want to do it well and try my best now. Maybe the result is not good, but what should I do? That's all I can do.

Zhizu GQ: Can you accept failure?

Xiao Zhan: I can accept it. A few years ago, I may not be able to accept it, but 32-year-old Xiao Zhan has learned to accept it (laughs). Gd

[despair-to-future-arcs]

Next up is Kamakura's funeral. All I know is the guy had a stroke but did dirty dealings occur at the wake?

Yeah I feel that law cause waaay too much trouble for it's own good, okay let's get to the next one.

Yeah I think Tsurugi does need to see this stuff, okay let's go to the next one...

—————————————————————–

Izuru Kamukura's funeral 'Written by: Masahiko Esumi

Date: January 1st, 1977

I have work with Izuru Kamukura, it's founder for years and was one of the first one to be scouted as the Ultimate Journalist of Class 1, I had started working for him and scouting other Ultimates, however overtime I felt overwhelmed by the position and made the suggestion to have other scouts to help in different fields which luckily Izuru was open to the idea, he's very open and understanding. I had selected 5 of them to help me; Keiji Suzuki who specializes in scouting people with law enforcement, Inasa Doko who specialize in specializes in sports and athletics, Hozumi Fumizaki who specializes in the entertainment industry talents, Iwao Kakimoto specializes in the culinary and medical talents and finally Nayuta Date who I thought was a man at first but turns out to be a women who specializes in specializes miscellaneous do to her Jack of all trades scouting skills - I had called them 'the 5 men of scouting talent' and were very gifted.

However it seem tragedy had struck, as Izuru had suffer a stroke and started into retirement, soon the power started to shift over from the headmaster to the Steering Committee after sometime, I had ask some of it's members of any comment on it but they didn't tell me much so I couldn't figure out what happen but then 1977 was when Izuru had passed away in his sleep, but this was what I found really odd about the whole event - first off, it seem that none of Izuru's family members were at the funeral, I don't know much about Izuru Kamukura's private life as he prefer to keep it to himself which is understandable but it was odd to me that none of them had show up as many others had but the next odd thing I notice was that there was no will read, nothing about the inheritance or was even spoken.

I still question where that will went or where Izuru's family went but I notice the Steering Committee were just as confused… maybe will never find out but Izuru Kamukura, you were the Ultimate Hope and may you live on in our memories.'

—————————————————————–

Wait so, none of Izuru's family members show up or read the will, wonder what happen?

I mean man, wonder why his family didn't even bother to show up; I mean, that's really rude if you ask me. Did they cut ties or something?

Probably not, given what was written here; I think there might of been other reasons...

Really? How so...?

Think for a moment Mayumi, what do you think Izuru's family would say about something like the Hope Cultivation Plan, what do you think Hope's Peak Academy will do...?

...Oh.

Okay, that... that makes a lot of sense, they probably be silent so I get why they hid themselves away, but what about the will?

If I had to guess, Izuru must of done something with it before his death; likely he hidden it or maybe the Steering Committee already found it? Who knows...

Also wait, Nayuta Date? I remember she was Koichi Kizakura's mentor and retire back in 2000, a year before he became he scouted.

She was and after her retirement, it seems Koichi was left as the only scout for Hope's Peak Academy.

He... did mention that he ask the Steering Committee if he can get more scouts which they promise but never went through with it.

Yeah... now I'm starting to see why he's drinking a lot...geez...

[gourde]

Okay I need to talk about this cause it made me insane

I love Transformers everyone knows this I have a Transformers side-blog. One of my favourite IDW1 characters is Misfire. He has ADHD and it's canon. Here's his bio:

I love this character already. I show this to my previous friend because I love Transformers and this is so fucking funny. Literally me. And their response (As someone who DOESN'T have ADHD) is that this is horrible and super ableist cause he killed people. This person knows NOTHING about Transformers for context and as I'm trying to explain that his character is rather complex and that literally everyone is a war criminal in TransformersIDW they look up the comic and immediately see the WORST stain on TranformersIDW which is Arcee's horribly transmisogynistic backstory. Which of course they then say that this comic must be horrible even though it was literally retconned later down the run because the writer who wrote that was kicked off. This is not me dismissing it Arcee's original backstory is AWFUL and horrid but this is important to know because then we start talking about Hazbin Hotel.

This is where it gets super scary. So I'm blue wording this. It just gets super long so click if you want to extend your dash by several metres

Knowing all the shit that TransformersIDW had at the beginning does ruin some enjoyment for me but better writers who were actually normal about women and trans people and lesbians came later and fixed the issues as best as they could. The comic also ran from 2005 to 2022. Comics are known for having the comic disease, where people who hate minorities write a lot of it. Okay some backstory out the way because this whole thing was insane. So as we all know Harkin Hostel is a genuinely awful show with incredibly harmful writing and stereotypes. It is RIFE with anti-blackness, racist caricatures, infantilisation of lesbians and fetishization of gay men. It has been running for like a month maybe but has been known for years. When I bring up the issues of the show my friend says it's cause it's been running for a while. But it's never been fixed. All the while ignoring me saying that IDW Transformers has awful shit at the beginning but clears up due to how long running it was and how many cultural shifts there were in that time. Hopping Hooter never changed. Which bothered me but okay we've been friends for a whopping 5 years at this point so I guess I can let that slide. Maybe. But then the defense of "All the characters suck cause they're in hell!" defense is brought up when I say how harmful the show is. When they were dismissive about all the Transformers characters being war criminals and that the comic must suck cause all the characters suck and are harmful. YOU LIKE HAZBIN HOTEL. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING.

Now this is where it's REALLY scary. I'm trying to parse what my friend believes at this point because we never got super deep into convos considering we only talked a couple times a month. So I'm worried about underlying beliefs. What about the anti-semetic caricature? The only character with a hooked nose who CONVENIENTLY loves money and keeps getting into debt trouble? Well OBVIOUSLY it's just a stretch to think that even though literally everyone I talked to say it's very much quite there INCLUDING MY JEWISH FRIENDS and THEY SAID this is where I started to check out they said "So we can't make characters with a hooked nose and love for money anymore?" YES. WE SHOULDN'T. WHY DO YOU NEED TO. Then I brought up the animators, who are mostly new to the industry, are severely underpaid and overworked and misgendered. Well it's all she said he said obviously... so we can't believe it. And if it was they knew what they were getting into. Like so??? I don't give a shit don't underpay your fucking animators man. Or anyone. WHY would we allow that shit. I don't get it. And obviously me not liking Vivzie as a person despite how. Awful she is is CLEARLY the same as fandom bullying and harassing showrunners off of shows for petty reasons. Yeah cause racism is TOTALLY on the same page as fucking shipping wars. Also they said something so transmisogynistic and I had to dip. Why would you say that to me. Anyways I already ranted about this in a Discord server I was just reminded of it and think my Tumblr people should see it too because it literally is insane as hell.

[the-firebird69]

There's a giant giant number of things happening here In punta Gorda Florida they decided to get John remillard the hell out of there that one's complaining back had a terrible day. They're running around singing the song and it's horrible so we see that Garth is figuring stuff out he didn't want to play that I'm still standing and he heard what it sounds like coming from them so start playing it at these Trump rallies and they're horrified is him huge numbers of people go there and let me hear the music and it's piped in a little it goes off and then start singing it and they're horrible but right here in punta Gorda

-we have 50 million people lined up 10 miles outside Charlotte county and their enemy combatants and they announced it and they are dead and yeah we are announcing the death of higher ups or dying from the neighborhood it was like five houses total how about 20 houses have suffered glasses today there's probably five more houses involved but out of those 20 houses 10 of them are now defunct so that means 15 different houses and it's true they're actually going and my husband would know them by name from westborough and St John's Wentworth different names but he was running into them occasionally and it's only a few thousand of these people and they're 200 houses so really there's 185 houses left and they're being replaced by other warlock no their plans are disappearing and it's even if they see it before no. There's several more ways and rings and they're emptying themselves out I suspect an additional five houses might be leaving today and she's not to move out until their dead for the most part. Is a huge number of people wanted to move in. Including us and everyone's fighting over this houses and the remaining warlock from those clans getting whiped out.

-7 million idiots are trying to get into Charlotte county and they're getting wiped out and they come from all over the place mostly Florida these days it's saying half Florida and that's a lot

-200 million are getting hit to the west of where the wall will be in a big ring and 300 million in a second ring and on the other side of it about eight octillion are going to hit right now after that he's going to go home to eat something these people a bunch of rude f*** okay these people are f*****

-we see them riding around later cuz he's saying stuff and then get drunk and they really just are ready to check out I guess but there's other things happening in punta Gorda Florida they're at their 10% and they're reaching 50% and they woke up this morning and said I can't stand hearing me I can't stand listening to them I can't stand what they're saying I can't stand who they are and I definitely can't stand them bothering him or me and they decide to take out more they're up to 60% roughly or approaching it really and they will take out more and they're taking them out and following them around and grabbing them stopping them on the roadways call them all out it's quite a lot of people but that's what they're doing we're doing it too and foreigners and it's the law no terrorists Losers. I heard figures of expectations or even planned development of 85% today. We're moving forwards but that's a lot of people and if it's 85% the government they'll be firing Private industry too and probably even more and we'll see this afternoon that's a big chunk they're tired of trump and they don't want them flying around sticking in their face and December 7th is ridiculous and they're under the gun they don't have much time for these idiots

-15% of the population is evacuating today and maybe 5% more I hear two to three percent already because of what's going on with the government and these are people who are mostly additional to those getting laid off jobs a lot of private industries summer government but they want to leave people getting executed for doing stupid things and they went out 15% of the population but of the morlock that are here it's still a large number if you add that to the government employees and Private industry that are probably get killed today and people running around attacking walls I'm probably going to like 30% so only 70% will be left and they're not getting people in allegiant Air was stopped JetBlue was stopped Swiss Air was stopped and versions of Southwest Air and American airlines that they painted was stopped and they want to pretend they're Mexicans my husband says and misspelled American airlines. So naturally they get caught anyways but okay. I keep trying to get here and if they get on The airliner they're pointed out the whole time when they get off their pointed out and security grabs them and the max are questioned and then they're released every time.

-don't have a ton of time for these people and they're gross and they wanted to get bit by bugs so they get nailed with bugs lots of them a huge numbers go after them and they get really they get really sick quick and it's gross but we are attacking them and stuff because of what they're doing here two more minutes this area it's going to be quieter and people are coming in and pulling them out elsewhere switch over that's good it works

-there's a certain number of people that think we should get rid of assholes that are abusing him because it's not a good example to keep them around and we're actually trying to do that and we need assistance if you're of that opinion we would like you to join up forces with us and as soon as you can

-there's another thing happening they are trying to grab other people's belongings because they're finding it hard to get stuff even at Walmart they can't buy things because people won't let them they won't let the cards run so their eyeballing each other's stuff you keep going up to his bike and saying and that's what they're doing trying to threaten him to get stuff and we're pulling their card for it and a lot of people are for the threat and for trying to steal and people tell him to get out and every night people leave tonight the anticipate on top of today because they're leaving daytime they're leaving at 10 to 15% another 10 to 15% of the molar will exit making it about 40% of left today one way or the other and it might be more depending on private industries layoffs and people who quit

That's all I got he always ask me do you have anything more and their bother him and his stomaching it but he needs to get home and clean up and stuff it's itchy some bugs on him small ones. Couple bites so we're going to start up when I get there we have we're acquiring more companies today in pretty large industries hospitals and pharmaceuticals huge huge companies one of them when he said we acquired and would just be the about but we will acquire today

God bless all and thank you for listening

Hera

Olympus

[mantis-lizbian]

so this is probably going to be whacking a hornet's nest on all sides, but... as someone who was a hater on 4e back in the day - which led to my discovering Pathfinder, which close readings of my blog may reveal to be one of my favourite systems - a few years ago, i actually gave 4e a try and... it's now also one of my favourite systems. THAT SAID! i do think that a lot of the main criticisms of 4e do at least have a point, but i also agree that the vast majority of people who make them have not played it, are merely parroting other opinions, and are overblowing or misusing those criticisms. tl;dr for what follows: the things 4e is commonly criticized for don't necessarily deserve criticism, and are actually where its strengths come from.

so, as a self-proclaimed fan of 4e, someone who would certainly put it in my top 5 systems, and possibly even my top 3, if i may... (side note: 5e is one of my least favourite systems, just in case anyone intends to respond to this using it)

"4e is like a board game!" true, actually. this is one of the things i love about it. very few TTRPGs have a combat system as fluid and engaging to me as 4e. ever play Gloomhaven? 4e is like that, but with infinitely more variety and flexibility. granted, it doesn't offer a ton of RAW support for non-combat encounters beyond its fairly rudimentary skills system, but that's fine. it gave the designers more time and resources to finesse the combat system, which is often pretty damn clunky in other TTRPGs, even my own favourite of Pathfinder. not every TTRPG needs to have entire subsystems to handle kingdom management, entrepreneurship, and social intrigue. and just because it doesn't have in-depth systems to handle them doesn't mean you can't feature them at all in your campaign. people did this stuff back in 1st edition when only thieves had any meaningful RAW abilities outside of combat, and those were just related to stealth, lockpicking, and traps.

"4e is like an MMO!" its daily and encounter power system is about the most reasonable way of emulating ability cooldowns like you see in most MMOs. i would consider the comparison valid, if a bit oversimplistic. but again, why is this inherently bad? having a GM and skills already gives you more versatility and ability to interact with the world than an MMO, and plenty of people love MMOs. i actually ran a Warcraft campaign using a tweaked version of 4e, and it went great. i'd love to do it again, now that i know the system better, and have a better idea of how to homebrew the parts i'd need to really capture Warcraft.

"dissociated mechanics" this is kind of something that every TTRPG does. every TTRPG you'd want to play, at least. some try and hide it, some lean into it. GURPS tries its best to avoid it, and have you tried playing that thing? use literally anything else. please. i'm begging you. TTRPGs are built around abstraction. 4e is just more honest about it than most. and because of that honesty, it's able to have some the slickest and most engaging combat in the industry. sometimes things don't work entirely logically, but that can be found in most any TTRPG that tries to have more concrete rules. as always, Rule 0 exists so if it really bothers you and your group, you're welcome to deviate from RAW to handle any logical inconsistencies that form in the gap between mechanics and narrative. or, again because of how disconnected mechanics are from fluff, it's certainly possible to reflavour something so that it makes sense. maybe knocking a gelatinous cube prone means that your attack deformed it, and it's having to shift its cytoplasm back into its normal shape before it's able to resume normal movement and actions.

"it's not D&D" okay, so this one i have mixed feelings on, because i simultaneously agree and disagree. obviously, it makes a lot of lore changes. archons are now embodiments of the elements rather than lawful celestial. the cosmology has been absolutely gutted. so on and so forth. a lot of this is just going to be a matter of personal taste. i hate what 4e did to gnolls, for example, and its made even worse that they retained these changes to lore for 5e. but any GM worth their salt knows that the lore written in books is merely a suggestion that they can take or leave as they wish. for me, the bigger issue is the design philosophy behind the 4e Monster Manuals in contrast to 3e (at least, prior to 3e's MM4). creatures - and to a lesser extent, any statted NPC in general - were approached virtually entirely with a mindset of "what role does this creature fill in a fight, as an opponent?" few are built with the idea of them being a potential ally in a fight, let alone with an eye towards what role they fill in the world. and this is also one of my biggest complaints with PF2e. i loved the way that 3e monsters were as fully fleshed out, mechanically, as players, and often had thought put into what its purpose was in the broader world, sometimes even the ecology. and this was often reflected in its stat block by including abilities or spells that have no real use in combat, but feed directly into how it fills its ecological or metaphysical niche. losing that is definitely a point against 4e in my mind. but it is one solitary point against amongst heaps of points in favour of it.

admittedly, 4e is not for everyone. if you don't like heavy emphasis on tactical combat, you're not going to enjoy it. but then you're probably not going to enjoy any edition of D&D or its derivatives, and i'd recommend exploring other systems. start with Dungeon World, perhaps, if you still want to have sword & sorcery adventures in the same vein as D&D, and if not that, there are tons of articles and other posts recommending a plethora of excellent TTRPGs. but if you do like D&D, give it an honest shot. it absolutely did not deserve the hate it got.

Anyway the funny thing about D&D 4e is that if you actually listen to both sides and compare what they're saying to what's actually written in the books, you will soon realize that its biggest fans have actually played it while its loudest critics have actually not :)

[icallhimjoey]

Hi! First of all, your stories are giving me so much comfort, you have no idea! And I don't know if you are accepting requests or anything, but I was on a bus home today, daydreaming as I always do, and a story idea popped up, and I don't know, maybe you are willing to give it a try to write it. Anyway...

I was listening to Moncrieff's song Warm while commuting and it made me think of a reader (won't lie, I imagined myself ehehehe) and Joe - maybe they are friends but she feels more, and maybe she finds a silver lining in everything that bothers him, encourages him and Joe is not really if his feelings are there yet, but he is definitely thinking more about her in a certain way. So, the idea is that he is so stressed out, so many things are going on, and he is being pulled apart by the industry, colleagues, people around him, journalists, and he finds himself spiralling and then one day he calls her, despite the time difference and she answers, sleepy and whatnot, and that's when he realises that she is the one.

I found that Moncrieff song so nice and I don't know, listen to it if you'd like, and if you won't write it or anything, it's okay. I just had to get it off my chest..

x

omg more people need to do this, this song is BEAUTIFUL hope you like what I've done with your request <3 Wordcount: 1.3K

---

Homesick

“Joe?” you answered, the thick of sleep in your voice clearly detectable over the phone.

“Hey,” Joe instantly regretted not checking what time it was in London before he called.

“My God, you better have a good excuse to call me at a quarter past six on a Friday morning.”

Earlier that evening, Joe had shut the door behind him and had let out a deep sigh. Homesick. He had really felt it then and recognized that the annoying negativity he’d been dragging around on his shoulders was a longing for home. He felt so far removed, now across the Atlantic in a city deeply impersonal to him and he wished he could will himself back into his flat in London.

London. Where he knew to find the exact spot of the bathroom light switch when he would reach for it in the dark of night. Where there were cups of strong builder’s tea just the way he liked it. Where there were after work drinks at pubs that would be filled to the brim with others who had the same idea when they walked out of their office buildings at 5. Where people responded to your “sorry” with their “sorry”. Where you were, right now.

Joe’s days in LA were complex, and his job involved many aspects he didn’t have any control over which started taking its toll on him. Especially now that he hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep in a few days. On long days like this one, people would almost seem to handle him like he wasn’t a human being at all. They were all smiles and kind words, but the hours he’d have to work felt inhumane. They asked a lot from him. And that’s not to forget that when Joe would eventually find himself in the comfort and silence of the rented apartment, he’d be up late reading scripts, rehearsing lines, doing self-tapes and deep diving Wikipedia pages in research of characters he would audition for later in the week.

It left him frustrated, moody and snappy, which wasn’t Joe’s default setting, and he actively disliked this version of himself. It didn’t help that the days had started piling together and he’d let it build without mentioning it to anyone. He knew he had to when he’d taken a shower and het let the emotion hurt him in his throat rather than getting it out of his system by having a cry.

There only seemed one solution to his problem, besides actually cutting his trip short which he knew he couldn’t do, but he felt a little apprehensive. Should he bother you with this? You had bigger fish to fry at home – you didn’t need to listen to Joe complain about opportunities he’d been working towards for so many years. But he just wanted to hear your voice. He knew you’d at least be kind enough to make him feel better. Joe remembered how you’d celebrated his upcoming trip with him. The one he was on now. It felt entirely effusive, he’d been on many trips before for his career, but you knew this one would be different. “I know I’ve said it before, but I can feel it, Joe. I can feel it right here.” You pointed to where Joe thought your spleen was located. “I think this is where my conscience sits.” You laughed. “Trust me, you’re going to come back and not recognize this face, so let me pay for your beers tonight so you’ll at least owe me when you get back.” You’d dragged him along to a pub, pride shining out of your eyes at what Joe’s future held. Prouder of me than my own mother, Joe thought.

You and Joe had been friends for too long. You always joked that you crowbarred your way into his life and squeezed yourself in between Joe’s intrusive thoughts and insecurities. A heavy bench to perch yourself on, but your light could easily overtake that darkness within Joe’s mind. And he loved you for it, but it made meeting potential girlfriends so much more difficult, because none of them seemed to live up to what you brought him. They’d be so pretty, but then not as funny as you were. Or they’d be so funny, but they’d lack your soft care for him. Or they’d care so much, but would only listen to Joe and then not do anything to cheer him up. It was always something that didn’t feel right. You were hogging the seat on that bench in his mind that was reserved for a lover. And Joe knew it wasn’t smart, but he let you.

“Sorry,” Joe heard movement of duvet covers as you turned over in your bed. “It’s still Thursday here.” He chuckled through a wince.

A couple of seconds of silence followed, and Joe imagined you in the dark of your bedroom, tucked up in your bed with your phone pressed to your ear and your eyes still closed.

“How’s LA?” you asked, threateningly close to drifting off to sleep again.

“It’s great.” But then you heard it in Joe’s voice, he stitch of melancholy, and you forced your eyes open. Joe wasn’t doing okay.

“That bad?”

“No, really. It’s great! It’s just… it’s a lot.” Joe let his head fall back against the sofa he was sat on.

“Were you expecting it not to be?” Joe could hear the smile that played on your face. He was fine with you poking a little fun, knowing it would give way for bickering that held every potential to lighten his mood.

“You don’t really know what it’s like until you’re here. Until you’re in it.” He defended.

“You sound tired,” you observed. “Get some sleep, it’ll all feel better in the morning.” Your advice filled Joe’s chest with warmth. He knew you were right. “I’m so jealous I’m not there,” you noticed the rain hitting your bedroom windows hard. “It’s really pissing it down here at the moment.”

Joe closed his eyes. He’d love some rain right now, even if it was just to reflect his mood.

“You wouldn’t like it here. This place is heartless.” Joe didn’t exactly have the highest of expectations of LA before having visited, but the way homelessness and decay laid around the corner of the glamour and shine of Hollywood had left a bad taste in his mouth.

“You just say that because your heart’s in London.” You reasoned.

With you, Joe thought.

“How many days until you’re back?” you stifled a yawn, prompting Joe to do the same.

“Too many… like, eleven?” Joe wasn’t sure. “Maybe ten.”

And as you started getting ready to slowly ease yourself into your last day of work before the weekend, Joe started getting ready to finish his day and prepared himself for bed. It was almost as if you were there with him in LA, and simultaneously he was there with you in London.

You chatted about an issue at work as you both brushed your teeth – Joe could barely make out the words. Joe talked about an amazing restaurant he’d been to as you got dressed. The company he’d been in had ruined the experience, so next time, he said, he’d go there with you. You did your make-up as you offered Joe advice on how to find the silver linings, reminding him he was doing good things, great things for himself out there. Joe washed his face as he absorbed every bit of positivity from you that leaked through the speaker of his phone.

And when you opened the curtains in your living room, you could hear Joe close the curtains in his bedroom.

“Goodnight Joey, turn that big brain off, all right? Count to infinity if you must.”

“Have a good day at work,”

“Love you, sleep tight.” You tried your best to say it as a friend, but the butterflies in your stomach seeped through, just... slightly.

“Love you.” Joe tried his best to say it as more than a friend, hearing your butterflies and feeling his own in response.

—

The Taglisted: @kiwisa @jasminearondottir @josephquinned @cancankiki @sidthedollface2 @dylanmunson @munsonsgirl71 @alana4610 @emmamooney @xomunson @sadbitchfangirl @jssmth5 @bagelofthelord67 @nobody-000 @lluviamg06 @thatonefan-girl @kylakins88 - add yourself

[heyyyharry]

Happier

(inspired by happier by Olivia Rodrigo)

Word count: 2.4k

I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

Part 1: Drivers License

Part 2: Deja Vu

A/N: I edited the original lyrics to match the POV :)

.

.

.

Harry had come up with a thousand scenarios of how this day would play out. Actually, he’d been thinking of this day since the moment he’d received the news. He didn’t dare to hope that she’d say yes to coming back for a sequel. He’d been sure that they would write her character off, give a lame excuse for how his love interest could not make a return and make his character forget about her completely to move on with a new girl in town. It would have been great if it was that easy in real life. Once someone was written off the script, they were gone for good. Real-life relationships were not that simple. Goodbye didn’t mean ‘never see you again’. You would still share the same friend circle and social bubbles, and it was worse when you two worked in the same industry. Harry didn’t know how he’d lasted a year without running into her, not since the Grammys.

“Didn’t you two date?”

“No.” Harry shook his head, but his eyes stayed glued on Y/N from across the room. She wasn’t looking his way, too busy saying hello to everyone else. “No,” he repeated, more to himself than to his co-star. “We didn’t.”

“But she wrote an entire album about you,” said the other twin. What was her name again? Lulu?

“Luna!” cried her sister, Lex. “You can’t ask him that!”

“No, it’s okay,” Harry said with a tight smile, slightly annoyed by the blonde twins, but he didn’t want to seem like an ass on the first day of filming. “And I don’t know if it was for me. You should ask Y/N.”

“Ask me what?”

Harry flinched when he looked up and saw Y/N padding towards them. She hugged the twins, who seemed way too excited. Harry guessed they were Y/N’s fans. They gave off crazy fangirl vibes, probably just pretending not to know the drama to interrogate him. He couldn’t blame them for assuming he was the villain and definitely could not blame Y/N for portraying him as one. It was more important that he knew who he was and how much he had changed since his last relationship. Maybe they could finally be friends.

“Were they bothering you?” Y/N asked him once the twins had left.

Harry nodded. “They’re your friends?”

“Oh, I met them last year on tour. I’m surprised you don’t know them. They were on Disney.”

“I don’t watch Disney,” Harry admitted with a smile. “Well, not today’s Disney.”

“Understandable.” Y/N nodded and bit her lip. She seemed guarded with her straight back and hands hidden behind her. She eyed him up and down, quite subtle yet noticeable. “How have you been?”

“Pretty good,” he said, nodding slowly. “You?”

“Yeah, but mostly tired because of tour.”

“You’re done?”

“Yup, last night was the last show.”

“Nice.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Nice?”

Harry blinked. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No.” Y/N giggled. “You still sound very...you.”

“Well, shouldn’t I?”

“Yeah, you should. But it’s been a year so…I mean, you haven’t changed much.”

“Right,” he said lowly, his eyes falling to his feet. Harry supposed he should say something else, perhaps bringing up another random topic to discuss, but all he could think about was what had happened between them. Things had been messy, hadn’t they? How could they go back to before that? Before her first song about him. Before he’d chosen someone else over her.

Or he could talk about her new relationship. She’d been in a happy relationship for almost six months, right? No wait, hadn’t they broke up two weeks ago? He wasn’t sure because he hadn’t been catching up. If they’d broken up, he’d sound like an ass to even mention her ex’s name. He should just stay quiet.

“I’ll see you later?” she said, gesturing at her stylist who was waiting by the door.

Harry could ask her right now -- the reason she’d agreed to film the sequel to their first movie together. He’d heard from a very reliable source that she’d specifically asked her agent to decline any project that he was in. So did this mean they were good? That she didn’t hate him anymore? He could have gathered his courage and got the answer right then…

“Yeah, see you.”

...but he didn’t.

And so she gave him a smile and a little wave, then happily returned to her stylist.

.

.

.

“See you tomorrow, Y/N!”

“See you, Annie!” Y/N said as she put the rest of her things into her tote bag. Her new driver had got her schedule mixed up, and so she had to wait here for another half an hour. She was in no rush. It had been a light first day, and she’d had a fun time getting to know the new cast members and catching up with old friends.

She sat on the sofa in the lobby, legs crossed, texting her best friend about her day. She’d purposely left out the short off-screen conversation with Harry, and her best friend didn’t even bother to ask. In their world, he didn’t exist, and his name was censored in every conversation like a curse word that was even worse than ‘cunt’. Nevertheless, she didn’t hate him anymore. She was doing just fine on her own, being busy with her career, and she’d been in a happy relationship after her fall out with him.

She and the guy, a model, had broken up two weeks ago due to long distance and some differences that they could not change. They had ended on good terms and decided to stay friends. They said you could only stay friends with your ex when you still had feelings for each other, or you had never loved each other that much in the first place. For her, it was probably the latter. Her previous relationship had been more platonic than romantic, apparently. So she had nothing but the best to say about him.

As she was going through her camera roll, just reminiscing about the past, she heard footsteps approaching and looked up to find Harry. He offered a smile and gestured to the spot beside her on the sofa. “May I sit here? My ride is late.”

“Yeah, sure.” She hurriedly scooted over.

“Good job today,” he said. “You were great.”

“Thanks, so were you.” She smiled, and they both looked away at the same time. This was so awkward. She hated small talk. She’d never had to have small talk with Harry. Conversations with him used to be so easy and natural and silly. Whatever this was, it wasn’t them.

“Can we just be normal?”

At first, Y/N thought she’d been the one who’d said it, so when she realised it’d been Harry, she was speechless.

He swallowed and sat a bit straighter, still not looking at her. “I don’t want us to be weird and awkward.”

“Okay,” she said.

He cleared his throat. “Wanna try again?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, not to sound like an ass but when Joey kept forgetting his lines, I was so pissed off, I could throw a chair at the wall.”

“Right?!” exclaimed Y/N, feeling free to have finally broken out of her shell. “Like, he doesn’t even have many lines. I know he’s new but damn...you can’t get far if you don’t learn your goddamn lines.”

Harry shook with laughter. “Oh God, we sound like dicks, don’t we?”

“Maybe.” Y/N laughed, covering her mouth. “But you know what? We can’t be nice in this industry. It’s impossible.”

“Shhh, if someone heard this, we would be into big trouble.”

“Oh please, I’ve had worse articles written about me than ‘Y/N speaks facts about her lazy co-star’.”

Harry tossed his head back and cackled. “The worst one I’ve got this week was ‘Harry Styles hates therapists.’”

“What?!” Y/N gasped. “No way! That’s so stupid!”

“Right?” Harry rolled his eyes. “I could get all my therapists to speak up for me but I’m kinda immune to bullshit now.”

“Therapists? Like plural?”

“Yeah, one in every city.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.”

Y/N rubbed her hands onto her legs. “Rough year?”

Harry’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as he leaned back. “You have no idea.” Then he swept his hair out of his eyes, sucked in a breath, and finally looked at her. “I wish I could have talked to you, though.”

She bit her tongue, knowing what she was about to say next would disappoint her best friend so much, but she had to. “So do I.”

Harry looked taken aback before his lips curled into a smile. “It’s silly, isn’t it? I haven’t talked to you in a year, and I feel like I know everything that’s happened to you except that I don’t.”

What he’d just said might make no sense for most people, but Y/N knew exactly what he meant. She nodded and wetted her lip. “You only know as much as everyone else does.”

“Yeah, I got updates on you from the news and our friends.”

“Same.” Y/N smiled back. “I hate how they write articles about your new haircut but not mine.”

“I like your new hair colour.”

“Thanks. I like your new car.”

Then they both burst out laughing. It was fun and also a little bit strange that Y/N didn’t feel the same anxiety talking to him as she used to. It must be because they had grown and were now meeting again as better people.

“Damn, my ride's here,” Y/N said as she read the text from her driver. “I gotta go now.”

“Oh, okay.” Harry stood up and followed Y/N to the entrance. “Hey, just wondering--”

“Yeah?”

“Am I...am I still blocked?” He looked a bit flustered as she tilted her head and squinted her eyes. “On your phone. Because I remember you having my number blocked--”

“I unblocked you on your birthday.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.” Y/N shrugged. “I should’ve sent you a happy birthday text but...I didn’t want your girlfriend to get the wrong ideas.”

“My ex.”

“Yeah, I know.”

They smiled at each other one last time before saying goodbye. Y/N knew it was silly, but she was hoping he would go after her.

Ding.

A notification popped up when she was in the car. She was almost home, and it was from Harry’s number. He’d sent her a link with a message that said, “Hope you like it :)”.

Curious, she tapped on it and was directed to an audio file titled ‘Track 5’. The upload date was last year. About two weeks after their short conversation at the Grammys.

Hurriedly, she fumbled inside her bag for her iPods and put it on before she pressed play.

“Hey, Jeff, I couldn’t sleep so I wrote this song. Listen and let me know if it should go on the album.”

Then came the piano intro. It sounded good, so Y/N wondered how it hadn’t ended up on his last album.

But when he started to sing...

We ended a while ago Your friends are mine, you know, I know You've moved on, found someone new One more guy who brings out the better in you

And I thought my heart was detached From all the sunlight of our past But he’s so nice, he’s so funny Does he mean you forgot about me?

Oh, I hope you're happy But not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

And does he tell you you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen? An eternal love bullshit he might not even mean Remember when you were with me I meant it when you heard it first from me

And now I'm pickin' him apart Like cuttin' him down will make you miss my wretched heart But he’s charming, he looks kind He probably gives you butterflies

I hope you're happy But not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better

I hope you're happy I wish you all the best, really Say you love him, baby Just not like you loved me And think of me fondly when your hands are on him I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

The song was for her. He’d written it when her new relationship had gone public. Y/N sat there, staring blankly ahead until the honking of a car tore open her inner peace, and reality came crashing back in. The driver dropped her off at her house. Instead of going inside, she stood on her front steps and replayed the song one more time. When it ended, she decided to text him: Why didn’t this make it to the album?

She didn’t know where he was now, but it showed ‘typing’ in less than a second, as if he’d been waiting in their chat since he’d sent that link.

You would’ve hated me, Y/N.

True, she replied. Still, I would’ve loved the song lowkey. And added, I love it btw.

He took so long to type that it was driving her crazy. She flopped down on the concrete stair with her phone clutched in her hands, her heart thundering against her ribcage. Anxiety popped like a balloon when his message appeared: Were you happier?

She reread it again and again.

No.

I wasn’t either, he responded. I kept getting deja vu.

Ha, nice reference.

That song is my guilty pleasure. Love listening to you roasting me on loop.

That last message made Y/N bury her face into her palm and giggle like a fool. She thought for a second and wrote: I could come roast you in person now if that’s what you prefer. I think we’ve never had a proper roasting.

Can we meet, Y/N? Or are you busy now?

No, not busy.

Great, I’ll pick you up.

Just tell me where, she responded with a smile on her face. I got my drivers license now :)

[xoxo-teddybear]

Troubled - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Cursing, Fluff, Kinda Angst(?), Storyline

Summary: Even though the two have been dating for about 2 years, Bakugou never knew about Y/N’s troubling life. With Y/N being lost and needing to find herself again, here’s how he finds out.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Bakugou and you were so happy. The relationship was incredible. He loved you and you loved him. You were both so loyal to one another, so protective, so honest...sorta. That’s where you faltered a bit. You see, you had a secret.

In the 2 years that you have been together, it was obvious that you’ve already met Bakugou’s parents. However, he never met yours. You told him “they’re really strict. I doubt they want me to be dating so I don’t think it’s best for you to meet them just yet. Don’t worry, they’re awesome! Just overprotective.”

And like the good, loving, trusting boyfriend he is, he believed you! He so badly wanted to change your parents’ minds but he’ll meet them whenever you’re comfortable. He can wait. But it sucks that he could never go over even when there were times where it would just be you and him. Apparently your parents “didn’t allow anyone over while they were away.” Whatever, fair. He still loved you regardless. And besides, you always went over to his house anyway! So everything was fine.

You fed him these lies and kept the truth away from him. In reality, you did have parents. Divorced parents. A loving mother who is sadly always working from early mornings to late nights and a runaway father who eventually got a new family with new kids.

Your father left you. He left you and your mother when you were just 5 years old and you never told anyone. This caused you to be so..angry..and confused..and hurt. Your busy mother was never around to help you cope and so you resorted into actions. You took on this rebellious bad girl persona. Yes you were in the hero course, but you put up a front that displayed you as the rotten apple among the group. You were still lovable and very friendly (a little teasing but still) and people loved you. What they didn’t love was when you went over the top with your bad girl image and even Katsuki got a little peeved at it from time to time.

—

“Your homework assignment: Create a visual or report on the history of Japan’s hero industry. Japan has had a lot of unfair rules when it came to heroes and so it’s your turn to speak on them, who rebelled against them, and tell us something you rebel against. I expect it to be done next week. Don’t forget it...understand L/N?” Aizawa said as he stared you down.

You sat with your legs crossed with your chin in your hand as you blew a strand of hair out of your face. “Yeah, we’ll see how well that goes.” You sarcastically said with a nose scrunch and devious smile.

The bell rang and students began to leave the classroom. You caught up with your boyfriend, Katsuki, who waited for you at the door. You pecked his cheek before you both began walking to the dorms.

“Hey, dumbass,” He called for you.

“Yeah Suki?”

“You are gonna do the assignment right?” He questioned. You chuckled a bit as you looked at him.

“Suki, c’mon. We both know that’ll never happen.” You said with a laugh but Bakugou just looked at you with a concerned face.

“And why not? You know you can do it and you choose not to. For what? You act like they won’t kick you out of UA.” He reminded you.

“Because they won’t. It’s just homework and I make up for it by excelling at everything else,” you said proudly but he wouldn’t budge.

“Okay but first it was skipping class, then it was skipping school, now it’s dropping class and home work. When are you gonna get off this bad streak?” He asked. You felt a little hurt due to the misunderstanding. He truly didn’t understand but that wasn’t his fault. You didn’t say anything so you have no one to blame but yourself.

“Never!” You laughed, “I’ll be fine Katsuki. Besides, you like my bad side. It makes us balanced. You’re the rowdy and rude hidden Angel and I’m the sweet and pretty devil.”

“Heh, so I’m not pretty?” He jokingly asked. You faced him and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“You’re the prettiest,” you joked with him. You both giggled a bit before sharing a sweet kiss for a moment. You both separated and you began to walk hand in hand as you led the way.

“But seriously babe, be cautious. Okay? S’all im asking for. And at least try to do your homework. There’s no reason for you to be acting up like this.” He said but his words stung a bit. He..really...didn’t understand....at all. Your eyes went wide but you minimized them before turning to face him. You grew slightly silent as you stopped walking for a bit and he looked at you with a concerned yet serious face.

“....Um...yeah. Sure. And you’re right Suki. There’s uh.....no reason for this.”

—

After Katsuki walked you home, he kissed you goodbye for now before you walked into your very empty home. You sighed at the quiet and walked to the kitchen to find another note and your dinner placed in tupperware.

‘Hi baby. I’m sorry I’m not home again. I’ll be back later tonight. I have your dinner all set, just heat it up before dining.

Love you, -Mom’

Great. Another empty house for the umpteenth time in a row. You appreciated everything your mom did for the two of you. I mean, she is working 3 jobs to pay for the house and your school. Not to mention, put food on the table. But sometimes you couldn’t help but hate her for being gone so much. You missed her.

You took a shower and changed into some sleeping clothes. You brought your school bag with you to the kitchen and placed it on the seat before heating up your dinner. While waiting, you pulled out your homework.

Listen, it’s not that you didn’t want to do the homework. It’s more so that you couldn’t. You weren’t the smartest student and a lot of the time, you’d need help with the work. In class, it was easier because you had Katsuki but recently he’s been a little busier so you didn’t wanna be a bother. You didn’t wanna ask anyone else and so you resulted into helping yourself in some way. People always told you to confine in the help of your parents but one of them was gone and the other was always busy. There’s no one that could help.

You read the itinerary and came to the conclusion that it was just too hard for you to understand on your own. It would have to be another failed assignment but whatever. It was just one of many. You ate dinner, put away your work and bags and opted to sleep. Just drift away into dreamland where things were better. Where your dad was still a part of your family. Where your mom didn’t struggle in bringing home cash. Where you were a better student and person who did her work.

—

A Week Later

“So did your little brat ass even write down a sentence?” Your boyfriend teasingly asked.

“What do you think Suki?” You said with a smirk as you faced him from your desk. His eyes went wide as he stilled in his seat next to you.

“...Did you even try?” He asked, worried for your academic career and you. He tried encouraging you all week and you didn’t do anything?

“Relax babe. I opted for a visual,” you said with closed eyes and a smile. He smiled too, proud of you for getting it done.

“You actually did it? Nice work princess,” he said and leaned over to peck your cheek but you only giggled as you clarified.

“Well, more or less.” You said as you stated ahead with a smirk.

“More or less? The hell does that mean Y/-“ he was cut off by the sound of the door opening and their teacher walking in. Aizawa had walked up to the podium and began role-call. Eventually, he made it to the topic of homework and his attention was immediately focused towards you.

“L/N!” Aizawa called out in a non-aggressive or angry way. More like his form of enthusiasm.

“Yes sir?” You replied back with actual enthusiasm.

“Time to present your homework.”

“Can’t do that sir.”

“Why not?”

“Didn’t do my homework sir.”

“Why not?”

“That’s what I’m rebelling against sir.”

You smiled with a very devious demeanor and Aizawa sighed again before he continued. “Did you at least do anything for the assignment?”

“Sort of. But I’m gonna need a certain someone else to go first. Iida, I’m talking about you,” you said turning to face the very robotic and precise young man.

“I’d be glad to present first!” He said and quickly left to the hallway to bring in his visual. Now, the reason why you called on Iida first was because you knew he’d be the only one to actually do a visual and he went above and beyond. Aka, he used sparklers to give it a “wow factor” for creativity points. You would know. You had watched him do his work to see what you can rip off of him but oh well. A new plan already came into mind and so here we are!

Iida walked in with his visual to stand at the front of the doorway and yes, the sparklers were lit! You smiled at the sight and only allowed him to get a sentence out before you interrupted.

“Perfect! Thank you Iida!” You said as you got up. “But now I’m gonna need to show my assignment. You just stay right there.”

“Y/N..” Bakugou quietly called out as he watched you walk around to every student.

“Now, I’m gonna need a piece of everyone’s assignment. So I’ll take this,” you said and took Denki’s paper off his desk and went for everyone else’s as well. You lastly took Bakugou’s before walking over to Iida and taking a sparkler.

“So! For my assignment based on a rebellion, I chose to ignore the whole history part and decided to show you what’s gonna be happening in the now. This is my rebellion. Homework! Why all the homework, Aizawa?” You asked as you walked back to your desk. You kept talking as you kept walking. “We wake up at early hours, go to school, then go to hero school/training and head home with more work to do aka homework. As students, we never get to take control of what we want to do because we’re so preoccupied with school, school, school.”

“L/N...” Aizawa warned as he watched you stand on your desk.

“My rebellion? No homework, more freedom.” You said and began to bring the spark close to all the paper assignments but Aizawa snatched them out of your hand before you and the chance to start a fire.

“Al-Alright! That’s enough L/N!” He warned but you stood firm as you raised the sparkler to the roof.

“No homework, more freedom! No homework, more-“ You were cut off by the sprinklers being activated due to the spark being so close. Students ran out the room to avoid the water but Bakugou stayed with you along with Aizawa as the three of you became soaked.

10 minutes later

You and Katsuki waited outside the room together waiting for Aizawa to return to most likely scold and reprimand you. You were both drenched in water as you looked towards the ground and Katsuki grinded his teeth together. While waiting, it was clear your own boyfriend had been pissed with your actions and surprisingly, he decided to scold you as well.

“What the hell was that all about Y/N!?” Bakugou shouted as he stepped infront of you staring you down. You looked up at your boyfriend in shock. You’ve known each other ever since Junior High and not once has he ever been truly angry with you and your rebellious side. So this shouting was a shock to you.

“What? I did the assignment. I showed what I rebelled against-“

“Y/N quite acting like a dumbass! You know what I mean!” He shouted again. “You’re smart! I know you are! You have intelligence and yet you refuse to do anything useful with it! You get yourself into so much damn trouble and I’ve been trying my fucking best to lead you away from that shit but nothing seems to work! I want you to be yourself and I love you with my everything but this bad girl image isn’t you! Do you even realize how fucking disrespectful and wild you get sometimes?! It’s getting out of hand!”

You bit your lip as you looked to the floor once more. A silence over came the two of you.

“I’m sorry..” you softly said while looking up at him before the silence had a chance to grow alarmingly loud.

“I am too! Because you go too fucking far!” He said with stern eyes and a booming voice. You felt tears reach your eyes and you tried to blink them away as you looked at him and spoke again.

“....I have no one at home who helps me with my homework...” you said brokenly. Bakugou looked at you with a confused and kind of worried face as another silence grew. You said nothing and did nothing as you walked away from him, not even bothering to wait for Aizawa anymore and just went home.

—

Bakugou constantly tried to reach out to you. He called you always, spammed you with texts, left voicemail after voice and nothing. After that day, you stopped going to school. Bakugou occasionally tried going to your house to knock on the door, but it wasn’t too often due to him still believing your “strict parents” story. And either way, you never opened the door.

On the inside of your home, you were in your room. You ignored all of Bakugou’s attempts to contact you. You couldn’t be around him right now. You couldn’t be around anyone right now. You didn’t even wanna be around anyone at home but I guess that was the usual already. Your mom was too focused on working to notice her sad child but luckily she was also too busy to notice the constant phone calls from the school trying to inform her of her child’s absences. She always had a meal prepped for you when you “returned home from school,” and so that would be your meal. Including anything else you guys had laying around in the kitchen.

Days past by and most of the time, you were in your room staring down at the homework itinerary. You constantly thought about Bakugou’s words.

“You’re smart! ...... This bad girl image isn’t you!”

Was he right? You had no idea. Your dad left when you were five and it blindsided you. You’ve been lost and in the dark for 11 years. Was this bad girl who you were? Were you smart? Did you even know who you really were? You would constantly stare at yourself in the mirror trying to figure out and recognize who the girl in front of you was but you never figured it out. You thought you did but maybe you were wrong.

You spent a lot of time on your phone, specifically through the photo album on it that was filled with pictures of you and Katsuki. It made you smile looking at all the memories. You smiled at the fact that you were blessed with him. He brings out a better you...the best you....the real you. All the times you were with him were all genuine. It was the real you. And you had finally realized that. But you couldn’t be sure.

The bad girl you was still a part of who you were for over a decade of your life. Maybe that was who you were now. And there was only one way you could find out.

—

It’s been a week and you still weren’t in school. The day ended and Bakugou still waited and waited for you. He never stopped trying to reach out to you. He never stopped because he loved you but now, he also had questions.

‘What did you mean when you said you had nobody at home to help you?’ He thought to himself. The end of the day bell rang and Bakugou, too lost in his mind, didn’t realize all the students leaving. He didn’t even realize Mr. Aizawa walking up to him.

“Bakugou..” he began.

“Tch...the hell do you want?” He said while still staring down at his desk. Aizawa stared down at the sad blonde, slightly in shocked. He had never seen his loud, angry, prideful student this way.

“How’s L/N doing?” He asked.

“Like I would know. She hasn’t spoken to me in days.” Bakugou easily confessed. He honestly didn’t care how he looked. He’s been bottling up everything and needed to talk to someone. He was a little glad it was just his teacher and not one of his peers who he thought would just tease him for the weakness he was displaying.

“Well try to keep an eye on her.” he said and Bakugou looked up at him in confusion. “L/N may put up a tough front, but she’s human. She can only take so much before she explodes like a volcano. Knowing her, it can go 2 ways. She either breaks down in tears and gets everything off her chest or most likely, she’ll follow her rebellious behavior and utterly screw up. Who knows what trouble she could get herself into.”

Bakugou’s eyes shot open at the thought of you committing such terrible things. Aizawa walked back to his yellow sleeping bag once he realized Bakugou got the message.

“However, I will say this,” he said and got into his bag. “She’s very lucky to have you as her light in the dark. Make sure you continue to be her light until she’s completely away from the shadows.”

Bakugou nodded his head in silence as he stood up and went home. Tomorrow, he was going to get to the bottom of this. He won’t let his little volcano blow.

—

The blonde had gotten ready and planned to head over to your house to talk to you. Not try to. He will speak to you and he will help you. As he walked into the gates of UA he was shocked to see a pretty face waiting for him at the entrance.

“Hey Suki!” You said with a smile as you walked to him and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Y/N...” Bakugou gasped out quietly. Once he felt your embrace around his neck he was quick to wrap his arms around your waist and hold you tight. He buried his face in the crook of your neck and melted into the scent of you. He held you so close you were kind of losing oxygen.

“Umm..Suki. Can’t breath!” You said jokingly. Bakugou was quick to let go but still keep a loose hold on you.

“Sorry! Sorry- I just- I-“

“Hey, don’t worry. I’m glad you missed me,” you said with a wink and Bakugou smiled. He truly did miss you. “But right now, we should get to class.”

Bakugou was shocked you were choosing to go to class but he nodded with a soft smile and followed your lead nonetheless. You walked into the classroom and took your seat after making eye contact with Aizawa. When you were seated, Aizawa looked at Bakugou and gave a signal of an explosion with his hands and mouth. Bakugou got the idea.

At any time, this might be the buildup to Y/N’s explosion.

Bakugou took his seat and was quick to talk to you. “Baby? You’re not gonna....burst or something right? Everything is fine? Yeah?”

“Uhh, kinda? I mean, I’m pretty secure. I just wanna find myself after all the years of being so lost. .....I’m sure that soon I’ll get those answers.” You calmly said.

“What do you mean?” Bakugou said. He knew it. You were gonna explode. And he also realized he needed answers too. What the hell was going on with you and why didn’t he know?

“Don’t worry love!” You cheerfully said as Aizawa began class. Time went by and class continued. Bakugou was constantly looking your way to check for any signs of agitation. Suddenly, the fire alarm rang and students jumped at the loud sound. Some began walking out as Bakugou sighed in relief.

“Oh thank god! You exploded,” he sighed with his head back and hand on his chest.

“What do you mean?” You questioned.

“You. You exploded. This is you getting all the frustrations off your chest,” he stood up and addressed everyone. “It’s fine idiots. This is just Y/N being a little delinquent,”

“Your blood pumping?” You calmly asked.

“Yup,” Bakugou said with a satisfied smile.

“Good, I didn’t do it,” you calmly said to Bakugou but he continued.

“Yes you did! Im assuming she started a fire but it’s fine. S’not a villain or something so don’t sweat it.” He said aloud. “Go ahead and get out of here Morons, I’ll make sure she’s in check.”

“I-...I didn’t do it,” you still calmly said but this time to reassure the class as Bakugou grabbed your wrist.

“Yes you did, and it’s fine! Because this is how you get all the bad out so now you can’t do anymore bad for 3,000 years.” He said happily but you still looked at him with a bored stare when out of nowhere, the alarm stopped and Principle Nezu came onto the loud speaker.

“Sorry students. False alarm. No need to worry, please proceed with your studies.” The students sighed in relief and Bakugou’s smile dropped as he finally realized this wasn’t you going boom.

“You didn’t do this? You aren’t a volcano?” He asked.

“No explody,” you said in a sing-song voice as you shook your head.

“You need a nap?” He asked. Maybe instead of exploding, you could just sleep off the issues.

“Wide awakey,” you replied.

“..You’re gonna burst and destroy the whole village, aren’t ya?” He sadly and metaphorically asked. You nodded your head as you replied.

“......And the neighboring towns.”

Bakugou just groaned and dropped your wrist as he sat back down with an annoyed face. You giggled as you took your seat too.

—

The bell that signaled the end of the day rang and you were quick on your feet as you skidded to Bakugou and pecked his cheek. He looked up at you with a soft smile, poked his lips out a little, and pointed at his lips for an actual kiss (which you gladly gave.)

“What’s the rush dumbass?” He asked.

“I’ve got somewhere to be. Don’t worry though, I’ll be fine!” You reassured him.

“..Alright I guess? You still coming over later for dinner with the old hags or...?”

“I’ll be there Suki!” You said and his nerves settled a bit. He kissed you on your cheek and nodded before he allowed you to leave the room and head off to wherever. As he watched you go, he couldn’t stop the uncomfortable stress he felt in his chest.

—

A few hours had passed since Bakugou’s last seen you. After school he went straight to the gym before dinner. While working out, his mind couldn’t help but wonder what you were up to. What was so important that it had you rushing around like that?

While Katsuki sat at the gym questioning your whereabouts, you were walking to the park with a book bag. You walked into the closed park. It was beautiful. The calming winds, the soft grass, the shining moon, and the beautiful gardens that held happy statues. Too bad you were here to find out who you were.

You placed the bag down on a bench and pulled out your tools. A brick, a hammer, spray cans, and matches. You looked at the instruments you brought and sighed at your actions. Were you really going to demolish a beautiful place just to discover yourself? Was this bad girl image really worth it? You hesitated before you went in to pick up the hammer but before you could, a familiar voice spoke up.

“Well look what we have here. Miss Y/N L/N, the rebel herself.” You turned around to see a few old friends. Haruki Gen, the professional gambler and money hussler and Izumi Tobio, the ruthless fighter. These two were your old friends. People you used to get into a whole lotta trouble with. You three were a delinquent trio that were all about no rules and no restraints. You completely forgot this was the usual hang where you three would just relax after a hard day of mean pranks, harmless stealing, and bullying.

“Haruki. Izumi. S’been awhile,” you said with a nonchalant smile.

“Of course it has. You left us after you got with that blondie boy-wonder.” Haruki teased. You chuckled but were offended as they picked at your boyfriend.

“His name is Katsuki.” You said with your hands in your back pockets.

“Whatever,” Izumi interrupted. “It’s a little dark out here. It gets scary when it gets dark around here.”

“Oh, I appreciate the warning.” You softly said with rudeness laced into the message.

“So where’s boy wonder?” Haruki asked.

“Katsuki.”

“Boy wonder. We see you got a brick and hammer here. Boy wonder isn’t gonna stop you?”

“Once again, Katsuki.” You warned.

“Yeah yeah. You gonna tell us what you’re doing here with those things. Whatcha’ gonna do? Build a house?” She teased.

“She’s Y/N L/N. She’s gonna burn the place down,” Izumi said as she wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

“Nah,” Haruki Said. “She’s changed. She’s gone soft. Just like boy wonder.”

“Okay, I’m gonna need you to start calling him Katsuki.” You warned.

“You’re soft like Katsuki. Better?” Izumi said softly into the side of your face.

“I’m not soft.” You said but Izumi disagreed.

“Yeaaahhhh you are. You’ve gone soft. But that’s okay. ‘Cuz we can fix that. And you know how we fix things? With a hammer.” She said and looked to Haruki. You both watched as Haruki went to pick up the hammer you brought and walk back to her spot next to you. “We could do a loootttt of damage with this equipment. Is that what you came here for? To see what you’re still capable of?”

“....Yeah....yeah I came to see what I’m still capable of.” You replied with a quiet but dark voice.

“Really?” Izumi said. “Because I’d love to have you back here doing damage with us.”

“Mhm!” Haruki agreed. “Now...watch and remember that this is what we do with a hammer.” She said before she bashed the head clean off the neck of a statue that oddly resembled your own boyfriend. You slightly flinched at the sound and sight of destruction while Izumi walked to Haruki.

“Okay slugger, let’s give someone else a chance,” she said and took the hammer from Haruki before placing it in your hands. “Show us what you got....softie.”

You took the hammer and once again hesitated before you raised the tool in the air to smash the statue. You freezed midway before you could finish the job. The statue really did remind you of Katsuki and you didn’t know if you had it in you to destroy anything reminding you of him. You paused for awhile and Izumi sighed as she took the hammer out of your hand.

“You’re soft L/N. I know it. You know it.”

“You’re not one of us anymore.” Haruki said.

“Exactly. You’re too soft to be one of us.” Izumi pushed you a bit, causing you to stumble forward slightly. “You chose the wrong group of friends. Chose the wrong person to associate with....you chose him. And he made you weak. So why don’t you just admit he made you weak and go home-“

“No. Because I’m not week.” You said as you faced them.

“Oh yeah? Prove it.” Haruki said as she walked towards you and you to her. “Take this hammer from me and prove it. Or else I’m gonna bust up Mr. Perfect right in front of you. ‘Cuz I don’t see anyone here who can stop me.” She said as she motioned towards the statue. She went in to bash it once more and you were quick to grab her arm and snatch the hammer out of her hand.

“Yeah there is,” you said and walked to the bench and picked up the hard piece of rock. “‘Cuz I’ve got the brick, and I’ve got the hammer.”

The two girls smirked at you and Izumi spoke up once more. “Good for you L/N. You know what you’re gonna do with those?”

You sighed through your nose before taking your arm and wrapping it around Izumi very casually, but brought her below your level and whispered in her ear but remained loud enough for Haruki to hear. “I know exactly what I’m gonna do with those.....I know exactly who I am.”

You pushed Izumi off of you and watched her backup to Haruki. They both looked at you in shock and slight fear as you held the weapons that you were capable of harming them with. You stared them down as they watched you with caution.

—

Hinata L/N. Your mother. She returned home at a surprisingly early hour of the night after finishing her final shift. She was exhausted and completely overworked, but knowing she made some money to support her and her daughter made her smile. She was glad she got to come home and spend some time with her daughter but when she called out your name, only silence filled the air.

She walked to the kitchen but stopped in shock to find the dinner she left for you completely untouched. It remained on the island with the Saran Wrap still covering it. Worried, she went up to her daughters room only to open it and see no one. Hinata’s eyes went wide in shock. Where was her baby girl? She ran to the closet in hopes of you being there, went to the bathroom to find it empty, and even went to the backyard to no avail. The entire time she screamed your name with tears filling her eyes. In a panic, she called a close friend of hers, telling her that she was on her way for a quick visit. It may have been years since they’ve spoken, but the bond was still there and help and comfort was all she needed right now.

—

Bakugou had finished his time at the gym, took a quick shower there, and made it home. When he walked through the front door, he didn’t expect to find his worried parents consulting a sad woman.

“The hell happened?” The young blonde questioned. The adults in the room took notice of the boy as he walked into the living room and Mitsuki was the first to speak up.

“Katsuki, this is my old friend Hinata. She’s come here for help.” Mitsuki quickly explained. Usually, she’d check her son for his abrasive language but let it slide as she wanted to out her full attention of her dear friend.

“That still doesn’t explain what happened, ya old hag.” Bakugou said placing his bag down and taking a seat. He was a hero trainee and it was in him to help those in need. Granted, he was kinda peeved at not seeing his girlfriend for a few hours and helping out some random, sappy, sad stranger wasn’t really intriguing but a hero’s gotta do what a hero’s gotta do.

“My daughter, Y/N, had gone missing.” Hinata explained. She was worried, yes, but she had always allowed Y/N to wander the city so in the back of her mind she hoped her daughter was just extending the time of her little stroll or whatever she was doing.

“Y/N?” Bakugou whispered to himself.

“Katsuki, you idiot! Your girlfriend!” Mitsuki shouted at the boy. Bakugou’s eyes popped open as he stood from his seat in a rush. He felt his heart about to blow in fear of something bad happening to his Y/N.

“WHAT?! Where the hell did she go?!” Bakugou screamed in fear with a worried look. Before any adults could answer a cop walked through the open door.

“I can answer that.” Officer Haru said. The four of them all looked towards the door to see the officer at the door way. They watched as the officer faced the door and tilted his head inwards. In came another officer that dragged along Y/N. The officer kept Y/N’s arm behind her back as she stumbled forward the slightest bit.

“Baby girl, what happened?” Hinata said as she got up in concern. You remained silent as you allowed officer Haru to speak.

“I’ll tell you what happen. Musutafu code 459 and 623.” He said.

“Vandalism? And Physical Assualt?” Masaru said concerned.

“What?!” Mitsuki said in shocked.

“What?” Hinata said in follow.

“Y/N...what the hell did you do?” Bakugou said in concern as he faced you. Your boyfriend kept his worried but stern gaze on you but that was because Bakugou was shocked. He knew you would explode but committing crimes and assault? Not to mention getting arrested? That’s not what he expected at all.

“You...” you began as you slanted your sight to your Pomeranian of a boyfriend. “You did this to me! Lock me up and put me in jail for the rest of my life and don’t allow visitors or else he’ll show up and bring me my stupid homework!” You said as you walked towards him but the officer held his hand out infront of you to keep you from getting any closer.

“Well first of all, I’d be helping your dumbass!” Bakugou said in reply. The officer took a look at Bakugou and spoke again.

“You’re the kid who’s head she put back on,” Haru said as he pointed towards Katsuki.

“What?” The blonde boy said.

“He’s my boyfriend and he ruined me!” You said still being held back by officer Haru’s arm.

“She’s my girlfriend and I love her,” Bakugou said with a stern voice and his hands in his pockets as he glared you down. “Look, Y/N. Just tell me what you did.”

“She assaulted two teenage girls and did a number on a public park. My park. I watch that park every day and it has never met harm not once until she came along.

“I’m sorry...” you softly said. A quick silence filled the room before Haru spoke once more.

“You all care about this girl?”

“We do.” Mitsuki said with 100% sureness.

“Then let’s all take a field trip down to my park so I can show you all just what she did. Let’s go.” Haru said and guided everyone out the door. Katsuki tried to grab your arm to get an explanation on his own but you shook your head, took his hand, and guided him as well.

After a short walk, you all made it to the park. All of you had walked through the gates to find the concrete area had been completely altered. The walls were painted in beautiful colors with inspiring murals, covering them in words of hope. Extremely precise and intricate chalk designs were covering the ground and the once broken statue had been fixed completely. You all looked around in awe. You walked towards the statues and Bakugou followed you.

“.....I had a brick in my hand.”

“Why?” Bakugou asked with a soft voice. You looked up to him with an equally soft expression as you spoke quietly.

“..because somebody went after you..I know you can defend yourself Suki but..still.”

“Who Y/N?” Mitsuki asked with worry. You took a breath before continuing as you opened up about your past a bit.

“..These two girls I used to know. These two troubled girls I used to know. I could’ve been them..I was one of them. And Suki, even today I would’ve been one of them.” You said but you made eye contact and broke into the smallest smile as you stared into his ruby eyes. “But I’m not. ‘Cuz they think a hammer and a brick makes you strong and as much as I wanted to throw a brick through a window..I knew it would’ve made me weak. I’m strong. And I know it’s because there’s something inside me that stops me from being weak and being one of them, and you are the reason why I have that something. And that something is the reason why I’ll never do any true damage.”

“Because you’re not bad, Y/N.” Bakugou said with a soft smile. You nodded your head and agreed.

“Yeah....why am I not bad?” You asked in confusion. Bakugou chuckled as he took your hands in his and placed his forehead to yours.

“Because it’s just not who you are. You may be a rebel at times, but you’re a rebel with a cause....it’s why I love you.” He softly said and you whimpered a bit at his words as he pulled you in for a tight hug and you slightly weeped into his shoulder. He kissed your temple to calm you down and you pulled your face away from him and just allowed your body to rest against his.

“What happened to the girls?” Masaru asked. You pulled away from Bakugou but allowed him to hold onto your side as you explained with a quivering voice.

“Oh, well they may or may have not insulted everyone and everything I love, so I may or may not have used my hero training against them until they learned their lesson.....especially since they were the ones who destroyed the statue.” You explained and they all just chuckled at your explanation.

“Yeah....they ran away so fast,” you chuckled out softly.

A comfortable silence came around until officer Haru spoke again. “My park. I watch this park everyday.”

You pulled away from Bakugou and stepped to the officer. “...I’m sorry..” you quietly said as you placed your wrists together, expecting the old officer to cuff you. Instead he stared at your wrists before softly grabbing them with his hands and just holding them.

“..You know I’m not gonna give up on that Izumi and Haruki. But I don’t want you to be anything like them.” Old officer Haru said with a comforting voice.

“Heh...I can’t....Katsuki won’t let me.” And the group all chuckled and laughed at that. Haru let go of your hands as he spoke again.

“Musutafu code 459 and 623. Vandalism. Physical Assualt. I’m gonna write this report down. And I’m gonna put it into a file. And then I’m gonna “misplace” that file. And if I never hear from you two hoodlums again, then that file remains misplaced.” He said, admitting to letting you off the hook. You sighed a little as Katsuki walked up to the two of you and softly spoke to you.

“....Ima hoodlum.” He said. Oh, the comedic relief this boy is bringing. You looked at him but went back to the officer as you looked at him in confusion.

“Why’re you letting me off the hook?” You asked but officer Haru just looked around at his newly renovated park.

“My park....I look at this park everyday....I have hope for this park too.” You smiled at him before he nodded with his cap and walked away from you all. The adults all looked at the two teens and saw Katsuki nod his head as he held you. They decided to give the two of you some space and head back to the house while you and Katsuki took a seat on the bench. You sat next to each other in a warm silence as Katsuki kept an arm around your waist and held you tight.

“...You still owe me an explanation Y/N.” He said and you nodded as you looked to him. He was right. You not only owed him an explanation but he deserved one too. And so you told him everything. All the lies, how your father left early on, how it was just you and your mother who struggled to keep the lights on. You told him you lied to him to prevent him from worrying, claiming that the troubled life was everything you knew and you thought you would be able to survive without his help. When he asked how his mother knew yours but didn’t know that you were the daughter of her dear friend, you told him how she did know but you begged her to not tell Katsuki. You told Mitsuki you would tell Katsuki eventually but eventually never came until now. Katsuki, being the great boyfriend that he is, listened to everything. He didn’t judge you for anything. Was he a little mad at the lies? Yes, but he understood. And he still loved you nonetheless.

Eventually, it became so late that the sun began to rise over the park and you were all cuddled up into Katsuki’s side with your knees pressed up against your chest. He rested his head on yours as you rested your own on his shoulder. You both just reveled in the intimate moment and savored every second.

“Hey princess?”

“Yeah Suki?” Bakugou looked towards the statue and smiled before speaking.

“Thanks for putting my head back on.”

You looked at him, pecked his cheek, and snuggled in closer.

“Yeah.....same to you.”

A/N: Hey Cubs! I know this wasn’t really a Bakugou x Reader kinda thing but I like the story line of it and I wrote it so HAH! Truthfully though, I hoped you all enjoyed it. Stay tuned. Oh! And part 9 of “Oh, The Lies You Tell” will be out shortly! See you soon Cubs!

[whump-a-la-mode]

A hero is in a coma. Villain visits them every single day, loosing sleep, not eating, their life is now completely focused around the empty hospital room.

Until hero wakes up and notices how sick villain has become due to anxiety and not taking care of themselves. Caretaking?

This is such a cute ask!! There’s only a little caretaking, but as always I’d be happy to write some more ^^

To all non-Americans out there, I am so sorry for using our weird 12 hour clock in this piece

CW//Comas, medical settings, just some horrible self care, mentions of explosions, bad hygiene, sleep deprivation, low self esteem, blaming self, strong language

“How are they doing?”

The voice alone was enough to make Doctor jump, spinning on their heels with such quickness that their shoes squealed on the tiled hospital floor.

Oh. It was just Villain.

Just Villain. It was a ridiculous thought to have, and they were well aware of that fact. Only a few short weeks ago, the name would have been enough to make any well-minded civilian tremble. It was bad enough, to hear it spoken on the news. Worse, to hear it not coming from a television-- in some cases, that name was all the warning one was given, before a terrible fate befell them. A nameless causality in the never-ending battle of good and evil.

But, now, there was no terror associated with it.

Most hospitals, Doctor was well aware, were fortunate enough that villains did not often pass through their doors. When they did, in the best cases, it was to seek treatment. In the worst cases, they had far more destructive intentions.

Their hospital, however, was an exception. There is a saying, that one can get used to anything, and with their experience, they now believed it to be more than true.

Doctor sighed, letting their shoulders fall.

“Visiting hours are over, Villain. You need to go home.”

The villain’s eyes widened, flickering momentarily to the nearest clock. In fact, it was past the end of visiting hours. Well past. Night rounds were about to begin, even.

It was simply so easy to forget Villain, hunched over in their little plastic chair.

Especially with those big, pathetic eyes with which they regarded Doctor.

“I can’t leave.” They pleaded. “Not yet. Can’t I stay just another hour?”

“No, Villain. We’ve been over this. You can come back tomorrow, bright and early, right at seven.”

“But it’s eleven, now! That’s eight hours. Eight hours they’ll be alone.”

“Not alone.” Doctor bit their lower lip. They knew full well that the person before them could render them to a charred corpse in mere seconds, if they so wished. Their tense, skipping heartbeat wouldn’t let them forget it. But, there was no malice in their eyes. Not an ounce. Only that terrible, pitiful sorrow. The sorrow that never seemed to leave them. “There’s people here, all night. A whole medical staff. If anything happens, they won’t be alone. I promise.”

Villain’s lip quivered. Weren’t they supposed to be dangerous?

“You’re sure I can’t stay? Just another hour?”

“I’m sure.”

“O-Okay.” The villain reached into their shoulder bag, and, for a moment, Doctor nearly pressed the nearest panic alarm. Yet, they withdrew no weapon. Instead, Villain took a small, spiral-bound notebook in hand, offering it. “Here are my notes. Um, just so you know. What they did today.”

Doctor’s gaze downcast to the paper. They already had three of these, piled on their desk. Filled to the brim. This one had only recently been started.

The page the notebook was turned to displayed the same thing as all the rest: Impeccably neat handwriting, dividing the page into half hour blocks. In each, letters of equal quality described the patient’s condition, down to the most minute detail.

3:30 - Minor twitching of the eyelids accompanied by singular irregular heartbeat.

4:00 - No abnormalities.

4:30 - Twitching of left index finger.

5:00 - Abnormal breath at around 5:12.

It was the best-kept record of a comatose patient’s condition that Doctor had ever seen. Even if it wasn’t exactly helpful, with how repetitive the patient’s movements tended to be, it was downright impressive.

“Thank you, Villain. I’ll tell the receptionist to expect you at seven?”

“Is there any chance I could come in earlier than that?”

“No. I’m sorry. Visiting hours start at seven.”

“I’m quiet. You know I’m quiet. I won’t be a bother to anybody.”

“I know, Villain. If...” They knew they needed to say something, or this argument would continue all night long. “If anything happens, we have your number on file. I’ll call you myself.”

“Really?” Their eyes widened. “You promise?”

“I promise. Now, you need to go home.”

“Okay.”

“You won’t hide in the bathroom and try to stay late this time?”

“You saw?”

“Everyone saw, Villain. Now, you’ve gotta skedaddle.”

The villain nodded hesitantly, looking to their shoes as they turned, moving down the hallway. As they left, Doctor could not help but mutter in their wake:

“And get some rest.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

Six weeks.

Those two words echoed hollowly in Villain’s mind as they plodded along the damp sidewalk, lit only by the dewy echoes of streetlights overhead. The hour was late enough, and the city tired enough, that the streets were nearly deserted-- a state they were in so very rarely.

Their henchmen had spoken to them so many times, lecturing them that moving through the city’s depths, alone and unprotected, was terribly dangerous. Any hero, or any vigilante too cocky for their own good, could try their luck in an ambush.

But, Villain could hardly bring themself to care.

Six weeks.

That was all they cared about.

Six weeks since Hero had moved. Six weeks since they’d spoken, since they’d awoken. Exactly six, now.

Exactly six weeks since...

Villain’s hands clenched to fists at their sides, overgrown nails digging into the meat of their palms.

Since they’d made the biggest mistake of their life. Since the two sworn nemeses, Hero and Villain, light and dark, good and evil, had had their final battle. An industrial sabotage gone wrong.

They should have known better! Better than to use their pyrokenisis in an oil refinery.

But, that hadn’t. They hadn’t been thinking. They never thought! They were so stupid, so reckless, so careless...

Villain’s ears still rung from the explosion.

Their injuries meant nothing, even as they still throbbed. No. Because, for the last six weeks, they had been awake. Moving. Talking.

Hero hadn’t been so lucky.

When they at last arrived at their HQ, the halls were silent. Life existed only in the form of a scattering of guards, nodding their respects, but making no other gestures.

It was with weary legs that Villain ascended to their bedroom. They hardly noticed its state-- they’d grown used to the scatterings of clothes and papers. Instead, upon opening the door, their eyes snapped to the bed.

More specifically, the item upon it. They rushed to it, yanking it off the mussed blankets.

A book. A note, upon its cover.

“Went to bed before I could give this to you. It’s that book you wanted - Henchman”

Villain removed the note, far more interested in the cover it hid.

A Neurologist’s Guide to Chronic Vegetative States

There were more than enough pages within to last them until sunrise; until visiting hours at last recommenced.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

At 5:40, the sun began its ascent, bathing the sky in a dull hue of blue.

When six o’ clock came, the first rays of light could be seen, flashing over the horizon.

With the strike of 6:10, Villain placed down their book. They were only around halfway through-- wandering eyes and brief minutes of dozing lowering the speed at which their foggy mind could process the medical textbook.

They would have more than enough time to read, the next night. The book didn’t matter. What mattered was that visiting hours would commence in 50 minutes, exactly.

Twenty minutes to walk to the hospital. Meaning that, to get there early, they needed to leave in fifteen.

Rubbing sleep from their eyes, Villain rose from their chair, knees popping and cracking all the way to the bedroom door. Quickly, they changed into the cleanest clothes they could find, if only for the sake of appearances, before heading out.

Showering could wait. Showers took time, time that could be spend watching. Reading. Taking notes.

Helping. Doing anything, anything they could to help.

Emerging into the hallway, they startled a moment. The lights had already been turned on, despite the fact that their henchmen never awoke this early. Perhaps they had simply forgotten to turn them off the night prior.

Yet, there were noises, from downstairs.

There was no fear left in their body to feel. Justifications were quickly made, and they ran down the stairs.

Entering the kitchen, a scent hit Villain, forceful as a gust of wind. The scent of food-- warm and fresh and garnished with garlic.

Before the stove, Henchman stood. Out of all those Villain employed, Henchman was the least likely to be awake at such an hour. Often, they dragged themself from bed well after ten.

Yet, here they stood, flipping a pancake in a skillet.

“Hey, boss.” Their henchman turned, a grin glimmering upon their face. “I’m almost done here. Get yourself something to drink.”

Villain blinked.

“What... are you doing?”

“Making breakfast? I thought that’d be pretty obvious.”

“Yeah, I can see that. But... Why? You never eat breakfast.”

“Yeah. It’s not for me. ‘s for you, boss.”

They shook their head, glancing at the clock. 6:17.

“I’m not hungry. Besides, I really need to get going.”

“Boss.” There was an endeared, yet frustrated, tone to the voice. “When was the last time you ate?”

“You made me eat a granola bar yesterday.”

“And the day before that, you didn’t eat anything. So, you’re eating breakfast, if I have to shove it down your throat.”

They clenched their hands to fists.

“I don’t have time for this! Visiting hours are going to start soon. I need to be there.”

“No. You need to eat. Then you can go to the hospital.”

“You don’t get to decide that. I need to go. I’m sorry.”

“Boss.” Henchman slid the pancake onto a plate before deftly stepping between their boss and the front door. “I don’t mean to be blunt, but you look like hell. I know you haven’t been sleeping. Everyone knows it. If you keep acting like this, you’re going to be the one in a hospital bed.”

Villain gritted their teeth.

“Maybe that’s what I deserve. Now, fuck off. Get someone else to eat your damn pancakes.”

With those words, and furious footsteps, they emerged onto the sidewalk outside.

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When Receptionist arrived at their desk, there was already a patron, sitting in their waiting room.

A few short weeks ago, such would have been unusual. While other parts of the hospital were occupied day and night, the appointments handled by this room did not begin until the hospital actually opened-- right at seven.

Now, though, there was nothing strange about it.

Before they could so much as sit down, Villain was already moving towards them.

Receptionist could not help but note their appearance.

Working in a hospital, they had long since grown used to seeing the sick and injured. And yet, there was something particularly distressing about this case.

They supposed, it was because they had seen it happen. Usually, when patients arrived at the hospital, it was because they could no longer manage their own conditions. Their bodies were in shambles. They showed up in their damaged states.

Villain, on the other hand, had first appeared to the waiting room is relatively good health.

Then, they had begun to appear tired.

And thin.

Now, their appearance matched that of the comatose patient that they were here to see. Skin clung taught about their cheekbones, their flesh pale and eyes glazed over. Most semblances of hygiene had been abandoned entirely; some parts of their hair had even begun to mat, and dirt clung to them like caked and cracked makeup.

But, there was something else in their eyes. The sheer essence of undying compassion.

It was that alone that prevented Receptionist from sending them away.

Villain had no need to speak. As soon as they had time to sit, the hospital employee had paged the proper floor-- a sequence of buttons that had quickly become muscle memory.

“You can go up, now.” They spoke. With a wearied nod, Villain moved to begin their ceaseless watch.

Neither of them could have guessed that, an hour later, the unthinkable would come true.

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When Hero awoke, it was to the sound of a pencil, scratching at paper.

The world filled in with a terrible, exhaustion tedium. Above them, blurs of white and grey turned to a sterile, white tile, while the world about solidified to four pale, beige walls.

A hospital. They’d been in enough to recognize as such, with just how clumsy their teammates tended to be.

But why were they here, now...? Who had gotten hurt, this time? They couldn’t quite remember.

Rolling onto their side, the question was quickly answered.

Villain appeared to be on death’s doorstep, about to press the doorbell. Matted hair clung to their neck, eyes drooping and skin appearing as though there was no blood beneath it at all.

At the very least, they had made it to the hospital before suffering any serious damage.

Wait.

It was only then that Hero realized who exactly was in the room’s hospital bed.

[potato-with-hair]

Fake News

First tumblr Story Ever

As the newest Avenger it seemed that Tony Stark and Captain Rogers were more than comfortable sending you out on all of the shit missions, granted, you could use the time in with your new teammates to learn their little quirks and start working to meld your abilities with theirs so that you could start working together seamlessly, but it was getting ridiculous. You were half expecting to start getting told to go out and help the NYFD rescue kittens from trees and helping the NYPD direct traffic on Broadway in Manhattan during rush hour. Y/N was a technopath, which was a fancy name for someone who could control technology and anything mechanical with their mind, or if you wanted to be technical about it, according to the official S.H.I.E.L.D. dossier:

Y/L/N, Y/N: Main Ability: Technology Manipulation

User can manipulate technology, the sum of techniques, skills, methods, and

processes used in the production of goods or services or in the accomplishment

of objectives. However, most users only can exert control over technological

constructs, such as computers, robots, hardware, and other devices that can be

termed as "technology", in any way. Manifested as a special form of electrical/telekinetic manipulation, a special form of "morphing" which allows physical interaction with machines, or even a psychic ability that allows mental interface with computer data.

Also Called:

· Cyberkinesis

· Cyberpathy

· Mechanokinesis

· Technokinesis

· Technopathy

Pretty cool, huh? Anyway, spring was coming to a close and summer was just around the corner. Tony asked me and Sam Wilson, you may know him as Falcon, to head to midtown

Manhattan because there were some “unsavory” characters hanging around Grand Central Station.

Turns out it was some low-level HYDRA minions that were basically trying to see what kind of trouble they could cause, they had planted a pipe bomb in a waste bin in the middle of the station and it was a Friday when thousands of people would be traveling through the station heading to and from work and school. I think that HYDRA was more or less just testing us Avengers out to what abilities we had and see if there are any hidden capabilities we possessed before they come at us for a full-scale attack.

Sam and I arrived and were able to find the pipe bomb relatively quickly, part of my ability is being able to read the signatures of different technologies and mechanics, and if you don’t think that a bomb countdown timer throws out a red flag, you are mistaken. Anyway, we found it, and rather than call bomb and arson with New York’s Finest, I was able to manipulate the mechanics myself using my mind. I shut down the detonator without ever touching the bomb and made the whole thing inactive within a few minutes time.

Easy peasy, 10 minutes, another fast sweep which took an additional 30 minutes, and Sam and I were finished and ready for our close-ups from the media that always, inevitably followed. We had a small group of media that always showed up whenever a call went out that an Avenger was “working” and there was almost always a small fan base at Grand Central or where ever we were working who would come up to thank us, like we were some sort of rock stars, and as per usual some of the younger men and women took the opportunity to do some flirting with us. Tony told us, unattached Avengers, that any publicity and light flirting and playfulness with the fans was good publicity and would help for the public to relate to us and see us in a positive light. I am not going to lie, I may or may not have had a little thing for our resident speedy Sokovian, but our little flirting in the compound never seemed to go beyond that, flirting. I thought there was a possibility he liked me also, but, so far, nothing. Although I did catch him staring at me quite often and Wanda and some of the guys were always talking to him and then immediately looking in her direction like they were just discussing her. Pietro did seem to always try to be around me and sit near me as often as possible as well. Also when the “fans” would flirt with him, I noticed he never really showed much interest in them, always watching to see what I was doing.

Oh well, time to spend a little time with the crowd before Sam and I headed back to the compound. The New York Times was talking to some travelers about the pipe bomb that was found in the wastebasket and what their thoughts were and how they felt about us being there to “save the day, yet again” when an overzealous “fan” started to get a little handsy with me in the background. He had followed me around and asked me to dinner a few times, flashing cash and his business card a few times, trying to press it into my hand multiple times. I explained I was really bust and thanked him but said I was not interested or available, but he kept perusing me. He was leaning over my shoulder with his hand around my waist from behind, body pulled directly flush with my back and he was in an excited state if you know what I mean, and he was whispering in my ear about some of his fantasies and things that he has dreamt of doing to me. Of course, the camera flashed right as he started to kiss my neck and I had a smile on my face because I was focusing on a sweet 10 year old in front of me asking for my autograph and telling me I was her favorite avenger. If the camera had waited all of 5 seconds more, they would have caught me performing a minor assault on the prick and another 5 seconds would have caught Sam pulling me off of him and flying us out of the station and back to the compound with his hand over my mouth because I let lose a string of explicative’s that would put Wade Wilson to shame.

The next morning I woke up and took a shower, went down to the kitchen and made my normal toast and juice and bowl of fruit, and could not help notice that the Avengers that were there were looking at me strangely, I thought it was because I was still in a sour mood because of that jerk from yesterday and the icky feeling he gave me that I was assaulted by scum. I knew that Rogers, Wanda, Sam, and Nat were on their way to Lagos on a mission. Thor and Banner were MIA since Sokovia, which left Stark, Rhodey, Vision, Pietro and I still here.

“Y/N, so, how was the pipe bomb incident yesterday?” Tony asked seemingly hinting at something

“Uneventful aside from a slight annoyance in the crowd, is there coffee left?” Y/N responded looking at him while rising to get a mug and pour a hot mug to clear the remaining sleep from my head.

“Nothing happened? Nobody special you want to tell us about?” Rhodey chimes in.

“Not that I am aware of or worth mentioning now that it’s done and over with, is there something you would like to tell me about?” Y/N asks looking back and forth to them. “Hey, where’s Speedy, he’s usually down here eating everything that isn’t trying to eat him first.”

Tony looks at Y/N and smirks, “It is strange that you should mention that, he came in about 20 minutes ago, I assume you were in the shower or I am sure you would have heard him, saw the cover of the New York Times, flipped out and, well, here you are, please take a look, we are on pins and needles to know what you think. And I hope you know that all suitors must meet the full team before you becoming an “item” and pass Avenger inspection, and Rogers is particularly tough.” He slid the paper across the kitchen island to where you sat, both he and Rhodey watching your face for a reaction. You unfolded the paper confused and looked at the front cover.

There in black and white at you was a close up of the stranger with his arms around your waist from behind, you leaning slightly forward smiling and the stranger kissing your neck, the little girl you were smiling at was covered by the person being interviewed in the foreground. To someone who was not there and did not know the story, this definitely looked bad, like a very intimate moment caught on film, the headline read ‘Newest Avenger Moving Fast With New York Wall Street Trader’ the article went on to talk about how you just met the guy and did not bother to get his name, but just let him put the moves on you, yadda, yadda, yadda. Apparently, after Sam got you out of there, the “gentleman: in question decided to make a name for himself and gave a short interview making it sound like you approached him and started the whole flirt fest, lead him on, and then abandoned him, with the promise to return. You looked at Tony and Rhodey with wide eyes and a sick feeling in your stomach, “This is the biggest load of shit I have ever read in my life, this is not anything at all what happened. About 3 seconds after this picture was snapped, I basically slapped the taste out of his mouth and would have continued to do so had Sam not gotten me out of there. Flirting? More like this guy assaulted me. This was not consensual or wanted. I told him multiple times I was not interested and refused his advances and invitations to dinner and he kept bothering me. I was talking to a little kid and he pulled this crap when I had my back turned to him.”

Tony went from joking to serious almost instantly, “Okay, we were just going to bust your balls on this a little bit, but this has just become a non-joke. I’ll have Pepper contact someone in Stark Industries legal department to get in touch with the paper to track this guy down, he’ll have had to sign a waiver for publication and we’re going to go after him for liable and harassment. If he tries to come after you for battery for the assault, well, we’ll call that defense, Avenger or not, no one gets to touch you without permission. Y/n we really didn’t know, we were just going to play around with you about this a little, and we had no idea. He didn’t do any weird stuff, right?”

“NO, I mean, I slapped him and Sam pulled me off of him and flew me out of there, anything beyond what he did to me and you would have been getting a call from New York’s finest about bail or my court hearing for homicide. I was shocked, but if it had gone beyond what it was, I would have raged a lot harder than I did. The headline in the paper would have read a lot differently today.” Y/N responded.

“Alright, I know that yesterday was weird and I know that Nat and Wanda have had to deal with crap like this from time to time, unfortunately being an attractive woman on the team seems to let the guys out there think that it is open season to treat you ladies like meat. It is unfair and it sucks and if any of the men on the team are around just say the word and well step in and make sure the guys know it’s not okay, or step back and let you take care of it yourself, whatever you feel more comfortable with. In the meantime, take the weekend off and go to a spa or go shopping or to the movies or whatever you need to do to feel better, charge everything to Stark okay. Just let us know if you need anything alright.” Tony hugged you with one arm and kissed the top of your head. “One thing though, Lightning Legs. He flipped out when he saw this. He thought it was true and got hot and bothered. I would suggest finding him and letting him know what is really going on because the last thing you need right now is a crazy Sokovian kid acting like a jealous boyfriend right now.”

You look us at Tony and across the island to Rhodey, “What is that all about, what is he flipping out about, he brags about all the women he is into and dated back in Sokovia all the time, what does he care about what happens to me?”

“Y/N are you serious? That kid has been crazy in love with you since Sokovia. I swear I was coming close to sending you both on a mission that involved a tropical island and a case of rum soon. If he’s not staring at you, you are staring at him. It’s sickening.” Tony finished with a sarcastic eye roll. Go relax in your room, we'll take care of this. Just try to put it from your mind and well talk soon. With that, you left and headed to the elevator bank to the sleeping quarters level, feeling shitty, but better because you knew Tony would do what he could to help.

You were only in your Bedroom Suite for about half an hour when there was a somewhat frantic knocking at your door. You got up from your bed, put down the book you were currently reading, and made your way to the door, opening it, you found a seemingly tormented Pietro, he entered your quarters without an invitation and started to pace the length of your room, looking at you, Y/N could tell he needed to speak, but he was not sure where or how to start.

“Y/N, I ……. The newspaper, I saw the picture and…… Who is he? Do you like him? I mean does he make you happy? I want you to be happy……… I know that no one will ever be able to………. Not like I do………” Pietro kept starting and stopping sentences, never actually completing any, and getting agitated. You had never seen him this disconcerted before, he was always so unruffled when he would flirt with you before and this was a whole new side to him that you had never seen before. It was like he was unsure of himself and it was not something he was sure of how to process. You walked towards where Pietro was walking seemingly carrying on an argument with himself and reached out for his hands.

“Pietro, please stop, okay, please. It is not what you think, I don’t know that guy. It was fake, it was false, I don’t know him, I did not ask for that, I did not tell him it was okay to touch me or kiss me like that, I was not alright with that, He did that without my permission, and the photographer took a picture and they wrote some fake story to make it seem like I was into it. I did not want that. I don’t know him, I feel disgusted by that.” You start to rub your neck where the creep kissed you, sat down on the plush cushioned ottoman bench at the foot of your bed and start to curl into yourself to make yourself as small as possible as Pietro looks at you taking in your words.

“Wait, moja bohyňa (my goddess,) some guy you do not know came up to you and started to touch you and kiss you without your permission? No, I will not allow this, who is this man; I will go fight him right now. Žiadny odpadok sa nemôže dotknúť mojej bohyne bez jej súhlasu. Nikomu by nemalo byť dovolené pozerať sa na ňu bez toho, aby sa poďakoval bohom, že bola stvorená. (No trash can touch my goddess without her consent. No man should ever be allowed to look on her, without thanking the gods that she was created.) Are you okay?” He sat on the bench next to you giving you plenty of space, not wanting to crowd you. “I will kill this man, why would he think he could touch you, Bohyňa (Goddess,) if I had been there, I would have stopped him immediately, I am so sorry I was not there with you. “ Pietro sat staring forward with a look of disappointment in himself. You leaned over towards him putting your head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around you pulling you into him. You snuggled your face into his chest drawing designs on his stomach and chest with your finger as he kissed your head and held you close.

“Tony is going to get the Legal department of Stark Industries to look into the paper and find out who the guy is and get him charged with harassment, and I may or may not have given him a good slap as soon as I got over my shock and realized what was happening, so I figure I should let the cops know everything in case he decided to try to press charges later for battery saying I attacked him. But I promise Pietro, there is absolutely nothing at all going on with that guy or any other guy in my life because I was sort of waiting for someone I had a sort of thing for to maybe make a move, but I didn’t think that he was interested, so I had basically given up hope and just accepted that we would only be friends, and that was okay, but I really was hoping he would let me know he felt the same.” You continued tracing symbols on Pietro's chest with her fingers nervously

Pietro put his hand gently under Y/Ns chin and raised her face so that his clear blue eyes were looking directly into Y/N/E/C, “Do I know this guy?” He asked finally deciding to go with the advice the rest of the team when they told him that Y/N was definitely into him, and Wanda assured him that yes, Y/N thought about him often and was only too nervous to make the first move, but if Pietro would, she would be receptive.

Y/N looks from Pietro's eyes to his lips and back to his eyes again and states “I am sure you have seen him around here, sometimes he’s hard to spot because he’s pretty fast, but when he stops or slows down and doesn’t try so hard to impress everyone he’s really an amazing guy. I have to say to, he is sexy as hell too, and he has this accent when he talks, uggghhh, it does things to me.” Y/N just smiles at him teasingly.

Pietro chuckles and smiling leans in but says softly before he kisses you, “Prednesiem vám básne a texty, ak ma chcete počuť hovoriť, poviem vám všetky veci, ktoré chcem s vami a s vami urobiť, ale nikdy vám nebudem môcť vyjadriť, ako veľmi vás milujem a uctievam. Teraz si môj, ako ja tvoj, navždy. (I will recite you poetry and lyrics if you want to hear me speak, I will tell you all the things I want to do to you and with you, but I will never be able to express to you, how much I love and worship you. You are mine now as I am your, forever.)” He then lays the softest and most soul-baring kiss on Y/N that she has ever felt. It was as if all the passions in the world could have been transferred to her through that kiss and as he softly caresses her face while peppering gentle kisses on her face, Y/N thinks that maybe this stupid picture is not the worst thing in the world to ever happen to her if it is what FINALLY brought her and Pietro together, she figures if nothing else, this will be a brilliant story to tell their kids someday.

Slovakian substituted for Sokovian

Y/N = Your Name

Y/L/N = Your Last Name

Y/N/E/C = Your Eye Color

[parkseoham]

i have a lot of thoughts of the whole knk situation with now heejun having left and inseong basically leaving to enlist next month. i'm going to ramble okay. this is going to be very long.

i love knk a lot. but this has literally been the longest and most frustrating 5 years of them and i've never felt like this about any other group and it's just disappointing how they have been treated and mismanaged and just idk? left to do things or try to do things by themselves all because of their company (and previous company) couldn't do that for them.

when ynb went under we honestly though like well that's the end of them it's been a great 2 years despite us not obviously knowing what went on behind closed doors and that was only really revealed when youjin spoke up after he left and felt comfortable enough to tell everyone.

we all thought 220 would be a better new start for them as it's literally their own manager who made the group to keep them going and we had so much faith that things would finally go well for them regardless if they gained the success we know they all have deserved for so long. it just meant that the person who has been managing them saw enough potential to invest in making a whole company just to keep them going but. where has that actually gotten anyone?

the most frustrating thing is that the two members who have left under 220 are the two who have never stopped showing how much love they have for both the other members and fans like. seoham and heejun basically never shut up about how much they love knk and tinkerbell lol

it's literally made seoham walk out of a group he so very much loved (and leave fans we know meant the world to him like he literally named us lol) because of the frustration he felt against said company because they weren't doing anything nor bothering to do anything. we all have pretty much just guessed that seoham left the company on bad terms and it's not surprising like i can't imagine how he felt knowing he has been in this industry since a trainee like 10+ years ago to then enter a company that just doesn't care to actually help their artists do their jobs?

it's now made heejun get to the point where he just saw nothing good to come out of it and leave as well. to leave the group where he is the youngest and literally has grown up with every member since he was a trainee and even longer with inseong and dongwon. like heejun?? one of the most positive thinking members? the one who loves music? left to just walk out because he wants to sing and wants to perform and 220 weren't letting him do that.

i cannot even start to imagine how the remaining 3 feel about the whole situation and their thoughts on if they should continue and don't get me started on what i can just imagine jihun is feeling having seen 3 of his members as a leader leave the group and we fully well know he's probably blaming himself.

i love knk a lot. like a LOT. but i have never once wished for a group to just disband already more so than i want them to do. i want them to be happy. i want them to go enjoy their lives and i want them to progress in their careers elsewhere regardless of whether or not they decide to stay in the music industry under another company that hopefully will treat them better. they mean the entire world to me and will remain that way and i just want them to be happy so much. additionally i've seen some people say that we failed them and like. no. we didn't. tinkerbells haven't failed knk we aren't the ones who manage them. we aren't the ones who release their music. we have done nothing but show our love and support for them this entire time through their active periods and inactive periods. it's their company who has failed them.

i'm just so sad and angry and frustrated for them and they do not deserve this whatsoever.

edit: adding onto this in march 2023 aka knk's 7th anniversay with now the news of jihun enlisting, dongwon staring in his first drama and the absolute mess that we went through with solo-seoham stans.

220 still hasn't changed and they won't and now seeing knk basically promoting with 1 member with inseong and jihun having enlisted/enlisting just hurts. and i know that they can't help needing to enlist it's the law. but i hate how 220 is handling things.

dongwon is now going to be starring in a bl drama, something they refused to let seoham do while under the company. and why does it feel like they saw what happened with seoham out of 220 and realised "oh we messed up" and are now realising letting the active members of knk go into the same acting industry will rank in some money for them?

i don't even want to comment on them and money lol like the amount they have been milking tinkerbells through fancalls and online events and just endless "exclusive christmas photocards!!!" "exclusive valentines day photocards!!" it makes me so??? especially after seeing what one of the "rewards" were for the valentines event they done lol they dont see the remaining keuns as anything but a way to milk money from the remaining fans that they have as they probably know how much tinkerbells are gripping onto the last slithers that exist of knk and know that any event any interaction anything will be grabbed in a heartbeat by fans and it's just ridiculous.

2022 was an awful year just us older fans having to go through solo-seoham fans and literally be bullied into things, threatened with stuff when it comes to any seoham related merch all because his new fans are "more deserving" now he's an actor and not an idol. like you don't deserve anything. you're not more special because you are an actor-seoham stan when some of us have been there since the start and been through everything with the keuns. i still to this day get dms and messages from people BEGGING me to sell my seoham pcs because they feel like they deserve it more than me and its mind blowing lol

watching the keuns go through their anniversary videos and seeing less and less people in them hurts and next year will be dongwon alone and i don't want to see that.

220 let them disband. let them be free from your company. let them get on with their lives and do what they want i beg you.