#it physically hurt me to write this norman is such a sad character

[adobe-outdesign]

Norman Polk Headcanons

I was waiting for Chapter 3 to publish headcanons to see if we’d get more info on him, and hoo boy

Pre-Ink Machine

Around 46 before things went to hell, making him one of the older employees at the studio.

Grew up in Nevada, then moved to New York when he was a teenager.

Very smart and has a really good sense for one’s character. He can usually “sense“ when something’s wrong with a situation.

He also has a very strong sense of morality, and won’t hesitate to call out immoral behavior if he sees it (and he sees everything). He has potential blackmail material on at least a third of the studio, ranging from stealing to car vandalism.

(He lets people off with a warning usually, but also makes it very clear that he will tell the proper authorities if he sees anyone doing it again. It usually scares people into doing the right thing.)

He could tell something was off about the situation with the Ink Machine early on. The only real reason he never quit was that he was African American and it was the 1930s, so it was very hard to find good employment, especially in his field.

(He also had a wife and kid to support, so he felt he couldn’t afford to leave for their sakes.)

Many people around the studio think he’s antisocial, but in reality he just thinks everyone there’s either crazy or up to something. He’s friendly once you get to know him.

He actually gets along very well with Wally, as he feels he’s down to earth and has good intentions. He appreciates having someone to openly talk to about Joey’s increasing insanity.

This works out well, as Norman helps makes sure Wally keeps himself in order. He’s found his keys more than once.

He overhears tons of stuff while skulking about and Wally’s the local gossip, so they usually meet up on lunch break to talk about current happenings.

He’s also gone out for cards on occasion, usually with Connor and the gang. Guy has a wicked poker face.

Really dang strong, mostly in terms of upper body strength. Those projectors are heavy as hell.

Smokes frequently (good ol‘ 1930s).

He used to offer Wally cigarettes frequently, only to quickly figure out the guy was bluffing due to his coughing fits when he said he totally smokes all the time. He stopped offering them after that.

Had a wife and one beautiful baby girl. They were hoping to try for more kids some day.

His wife never bought Joey’s excuses and always knew he had something to do with her husband’s disappearance, even if she (thankfully) never actually found out what happened to him. She tried to take Joey to court multiple times and only stopped because she wanted to make sure her daughter had an education.

(Joey, unsurprisingly, does not like Mrs. Polk.)

She eventually remarried, figuring that Norman wouldn’t have wanted her to waste the rest of her life mourning.

Their daughter, inspired by her mom, eventually became a lawyer later in life and had three kids of her own.

Sometimes people will come to him for life advice due to his wisdom and rationality. It always blindsides him (people normally don’t come to him unless a projector needs fixed somewhere), but he’s certainly not going to turn anyone away either.

Post-Ink Machine

The Projectionist sees better in dark places due to the contrast needed for the light. Being in direct sunlight would temporarily blind him.

The ink from his body has flowed up inside of the projector, which is how it works. He can therefore use the projector’s functions without needing to be hands-on because of this.

Because of this, sometimes ink will start seeping from the various gaps in the projector, usually during moments of distress.

The only exception to this is the light itself, which can’t be turned off manually. Instead it automatically turns on when he’s conscious and vice versa.

The light is near-blinding him at all times, yet it’s the only way for him to see - everything that falls outside of it is pitch black.

He has no feeling in the projector itself, but he can tell if something’s broken or wrong with it.

The exception to this is a constant piercing phantom pain where his head should be, akin to a migraine.

During the closest things to lucid moments he has he’ll try to pry the projector off, even if it means smashing it against something. Unfortunately the writing from it goes down into his torso and connects with the speaker there, making removing it impossible.

Joey’s original intent with him (aside from making sure he didn’t tell the cops about his, uh, activities) was to have a sentient projector that could play Bendy cartoons on request - after all, what could be sillier than that?

Ultimately those plans fell through as Joey realized precisely how feral this thing was, so he just let it wander the halls aimlessly instead.

The reels could theoretically be switched out without issue. The problem is that playing essentially makes him a vegetable for a period, as it both impairs his vision (as all he can see is the cartoon) and causes him to stop responding to anything, unable to process anything but the cartoon.

He’ll do everything in his power to try to pull the reel out initially before the cartoon blocks out the rest of his mind, at which point he’ll go still until it’s over.

Joey tried forcibly playing some cartoons with him after he was first created in hopes of breaking him into submission. This only seemed to make him more feral in the long run.

This is also how the reel got stuck in his shoulder.

Because he’s mindlessly repeating the actions he did when human, he wants to avoid other people/cartoons. Therefore he won’t go looking for things to attack, but he will attack anything near him no matter what or who they are.

He associates movement in his light/vision with being forced to play the cartoons, which only makes him want to make things stop moving even more.

Likewise, he’ll often set up projectors simply because that’s what he used to do, even though he has no reason to be playing them. This is why there’s half a dozen projections of Tombstone Picnic down there.

The speaker in his chest does actually work, but he’s far too gone to actually be able to speak from it. The only time it makes proper noise is when a reel’s being played.

The only time he fully regained consciousness was when Henry killed him.

[gunmetal-ring]

I'm so sad you left Caryl fandom. You've got to do you and self-care is important, and you've been on your way out the door for a while now, so it's hardly a surprise. Still, the loss of your voice and presence in our fandom leaves an empty space.

You were one of very few people whose fics struck the right note between the heaviness and the playfulness that encompass Caryl, while still keeping them in character, so that will be missed too.

I wish you happiness, in life and your new fandom.

Aww anon 😥 you are so sweet and kind and your words uplift my spirit wow. This is one of the nicest compliments ive ever gotten

Granted i did mean all of that when i said it - i knew i was being dramatic lol but it definitely still hurts too much. Also makes me too angry. So its still how i feel now.

But...

BUT...

BUT....!!!!!!

Putting it under a read more bc holy fuck its SUCH a long fucking unnecessary response lmao sorry in advance

If - IF - the rumors are true, that caryl will be in daryl does paris, TOGETHER, with ACTUAL SCENES TOGETHER, not this whole a story/b story, trying-to-find-each-other-and-making-amis-along-the-way bullshit (amis is french for friends bc i think im funny) that lasts until the last scene of the last episode of the last season that twd loves to do...

IF we see caryl ON SCREEN, TOGETHER, doing whatever THEYRE doing, TOGETHER, on THEIR spinoff, AND they are UNAMBIGUOUSLY CANON - for those of you at amc fervently reading my blog (lol) that means a kiss on the lips with romantic intent, i.e. FRENCHING (how appropriate) and confessions of being IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER FOR YEARS AND WISHING THEY DIDNT WASTE SO MUCH TIME WHEN THEY COULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY TOGETHER, and then FOLLOWED WITH AN UNAMBIGUOUS SEX SCENE WITH EACH OTHER, bc if we can have french zombie strippers we can have a fucking sex scene...

If we get that - if we get caryl together, both in physical proximity and romantically - then i might return. If we get proof (which, apparently, can no longer be a greenlit show or pilot script or location scouting or contracts or YEARS of press or fucking talking about it IN THE MAIN SHOW) - proof such as melissa and norman posting pictures of themselves on set, bts photos released by amc, interviews with melissa and norman talking about theyre filming the spinoff and theyre having fun and how its nice to be filming together again after having collectively 1 hour of screentime together in 24 episodes, hype from amc both in print and on sm about the spinoff, promo art with them together, officially naming the spinoff as something to do with CARYL, not just daryl dixon, a table read of the pilot script (where caryl is actually, yknow, holding a conversation, not just carol talking to some french dude and daryl talking to fleur delacour), positive statements straight from mels mouth/her agents (rather than jdm tweeting angrily at 2am and norman parroting the tweet for six months that deliberately and directly contradicts mel's statement along with amc's statement), sneak peeks of CARYL TOGETHER on THEIR spinoff, things that are unambiguously proof that a) mel is back on HER show, b) carol actually has screentime, c) caryl actually has screentime, d) that theyre actually filming with the intent of releasing the show, e) that its not just daryl does paris with a carol cameo at the last scene of the last episode...

IF we get this kind of proof... not only will i resubscribe to amc+ like amc so desperately needs, but i will watch and rewatch until les vaches (french for "the cows" lol) come home.

And then you know what will happen? The caryl fandom, as always, will do the heavy lifting for amc. They will create gifs, fanart, praise the show on sm, spread the word, buy tickets to conventions, buy merchandise FROM AMC, PAY FOR AMC+, tune in to the talking dead (if thats even going to happen? I hope chris hardwick is far far away ugh), write fanfic, create fanvids, post and repost and repost this content all over sm, which will entice carylers who left the fandom due to constant ship trolling and baiting and refusal of amc to do what theyve been implying theyll do for like 8 years - including carylers who left the fandom fucking YEARS ago, as well as carylers like myself who have given the fuck up due to s11 and the spinoff fuckery - and all of this will hype up the spinoff for the general audience too. Even if GA viewers arent specifically carylers, carol is a fan favorite. Carol and daryl is a fan favorite dynamic. People want to see them together.

Amc is finally realizing that they have nailed the coffin shut with this bullshit and thats why theyre scrambling to dangle the possibility of melissa/carol in every single press release and interview they can. They are aware now of the massive fuckup that is daryl does paris. Far too late to make amends, but if they pull this off, they can save the sinking ship (lol) that is amc. Theyre losing money left and right and laying off staff bc they cant keep their fucking heads on straight, and they are well aware its bc the money they were banking on - daryl does paris - is a complete and utter shitshow and will ultimately cost them far more money than it will bring in.

The only way to salvage this is to bring back caryl. Thats it. Bring them back in the 1st episode - together - and in every single episode following that - TOGETHER. No separation, not ambiguous will they wont they, no ship baiting, no cameos.

Actually the exception to the cameo can be the last scene of the 1st episode. Ill allow it.

Wow i went off on a tangent lol. But the point remains: if they do the CARYL SPINOFF right, they will get me back in the fandom as well as everyone else who bailed.

So who knows? Maybe we have a chance. I know @weaintashescltv has been loud and proud on Twitter about what we need to see. Maybe ill even join them lol. Even tho Twitter is an absolute hellscape full of bottom feeding goblins lol

All in all... maybe ill be back.

As for the new fandom its probably a hyperfixation lol considering the main ship i have is 2 dead teenagers that would make literally no sense to ever bring back to life - altho i have to say its refreshing that both of the actors (and even other tertiary actors on the show whose characters interacted w/ had a dynamic involved in the ship!!!) have so much respect for the ship and the fans and the shippers and have spoken at length abt how they also absolutely intended for the ship to be canonically romantic. A couple ships on that show do that, actually - no trolling or baiting or inciting fandom wars or whatever.

Theres something to be said about an obsession w a literally dead ship lmao. Esp when the rest of the show is like GENUINELY good and interesting (like how s1-s5, and then s9-s10 of twd was) and not just the shop.

Goddammit another tanget. This is why all my fics are like 30,000 words longer than i intend them to be. Sorry for the word vomit lmao. But thanks again for popping in anon ilu and wish you happiness and i hope you will continue to find love and fulfillment in one of the greatest ships in television history (and in case its unclear, im talking about caryl)

💗💗💗

[realm-sweet-realm]

Secrets and Lies, chapter 4

This is a Death and Taxes fic. It takes the typical, predator-prey dynamic that one often sees in one-offs and tells a story with it. It’s going to be the edgiest thing I’ve written thusfar, so buckle up.

Thanks to the people who encouraged me to write this. I wasn’t sure it was a concept worth writing.

Since Grant had become Joey’s confidant, Joey had felt every suspicious eye that landed on him. There had always been suspicion towards him, of course- after all, he was having ink pipes installed around every corner of the building for no apparent reason and demanding ritual items from people’s workplaces- but he’d never been so hyperaware of them. He was growing quite sure that it wasn’t just his paranoia- those eyes really were multiplying. Moreover, Joey had been feeling Norman’s eyes on him more than usual lately- and not with the detached curiosity they used to hold. Norman wasn’t generally the most expressive person, but as of late Joey could just feel the hatred and disgust coming off of him like smoke. Using Grant- a person he ultimately knew little about in terms of character- as a listening ear had been a downright stupid mistake. At first Joey ignored his suspicion that Grant had leaked his secrets, as it probably was just a suspicion, but eventually it got the better of him, and he decided to do some interrogation.

The first thing Joey did was to ask around Accounting and Finances about anyone Grant had been spending an abnormal amount of time with. Apparently, he’d befriended their treasurer recently. He went to Toby’s office immediately. Toby looked up from his work, surprised. “Hello, Mr. Drew. What can I help you with?”

Joey sat down across from Toby and leaned over his desk. “I just want to talk. So, you’ve been hanging out with Grant Cohen lately?”

Toby was visibly nervous. “Yes?”

“Allow me to direct. He hasn’t been spreading rumours about me, has he?”

Toby’s eyes went wider. He was a terrible liar even before he opened his mouth. “No, sir.”

“If I catch you in a lie, you’re fired and I’ll out you to your next of kin. Does that change your answer?”

“Well, I didn’t lie. He hasn’t spread rumours about you, but… I do know some things. I know you hurt him. So I’ve been checking in on him, and that’s all that’s happened between us. But he hasn’t said anything - I don’t even know what exactly you’re doing to him. Honest.”

Joey’s eyes narrowed: a final attempt to intimidate extra words out of him. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Fine.” With that, Joey got up and left.

What would he do next? He definitely didn’t want to interrogate Norman- not alone at least. And no matter what, he’d have to interrogate Grant eventually to find out who knew what- that seemed like a logical next step. Anyone Grant mentioned would also need to be interrogated and killed, and of course, Grant himself had to be disposed of. This had all gotten wildly out of hand.

---

This was supposed to be Grant’s last day working at Joey Drew Studios. He had landed a job elsewhere. Of course, there would be no two week’s notice or conspicuously cleaning out his office- just carrying out anything of his that he could fit in his briefcase and abandoning the rest along with his post. Not the greatest plan, but whatever the long-term consequences were, he would handle them as they came- and there was no way in hell that he was telling Joey he was quitting. He feared Joey’s anger far too much for that. It seemed like nothing could go wrong until Joey knocked on his door. After letting Joey in and locking the door, Grant got onto his knees and started taking off his clothes. He knew the drill, and he was beyond even avoiding eye contact at this point, instead looking at Joey with dead eyes that said, we both know that neither of us is going to enjoy this. Maybe this time Joey would get bored and leave before hurting him too badly.

That was the really sad and pathetic part, and both of them understood it. Joey wasn’t even enjoying this aspect of their relationship anymore. He used to enjoy the panic in Grant’s eyes, his nervous smiles and his attempts to talk Joey down so he’d be somewhat gentler. That had been fun. As of late, there had been nothing of the sort: Grant was utterly resigned to letting Joey have his way. It was about as much fun as fucking a mannequin. A mannequin that was invariably crying and in pain by the time you were done, and who you had to see the next day at work, trying to hide the damage you’ve caused them- something that added nothing to the mood. Joey had kept doing this in hopes that that was temporary and soon he’d be having fun like they were in the beginning, but he was losing hope in that, too. Joey was never going to use anyone else like this again, now that he knew how quickly it became so joyless.

But that wasn’t Joey’s intention today. “Hey. Get up. I’m not here for that,” he said in a very gentle tone of voice.

Grant obeyed. Joey must have been there for work-related reasons.

As soon as Grant was up and dressed, Joey took his hand in both of his. “I know a lot has happened between us, and I'm sorry if I ever made you think you deserved any of that. You didn’t. I was having trouble coming to terms with my feelings for you, and I took it out on you in the worst way possible. What would you say if we try and have something genuine, and I start treating you like a human being? How would you like that?”

That was the Joey Grant had known in the beginning- the charming, gentle man with the gorgeous blue eyes that he’d fallen in lust with.

He would have had an easier time seducing a brick.

Still, no matter what, Grant only had to get through this final encounter and he was free. If this was a trick, he’d endure it. If Joey was serious (as laughable as the thought was), all the better- Grant could do with one less instance of rape.

“I- sure, Joey. I forgive you. You won’t hurt me anymore?”

Joey smiled gently. “Never again. I promise. But I also nee to trust you. Everything I told you- did you tell anyone else?”

“No. Not a word.”

“Oh? Toby told me that he knows about us.”

“Yes... he knows that something is going on and has a vague sense that it isn’t good. But nothing about what you’ve told me.”

“And Norman? He seems suspicious of me lately.” Cracks were showing in Joey’s gentle facade.

Grant carefully held Joey’s gaze. “I never spoke a word to him. He is rather perceptive- maybe he picked it up somehow. It could be from something as small as my reaction to your name.”

Joey paused a moment. “Okay.” He seemed almost disappointed. “I have a surprise for you. Come on. And let’s keep holding hands.”

“Out where people can see us?”

“Let them. If they hassle us, I’ll fire them.”

“Joey, I don’t want a reputation as a homosexual. I want people to be able to trust me, and my family to respect me. That’s more important to me than this.”

“Shh... I know a lot of people who won’t care. My family doesn’t. You shouldn’t have to live a lie for anyone.” Grant dropped the subject. With the pictures coming out the next day, bringing it up at all had been rather pointless.

Joey led the way towards the elevator. They passed by Thomas, who looked at them with pity and concern before returning his attention to the ink pipe he was putting in. Alarm bells rang in Grant’s head. Joey had always talked about Thomas as one of the complicit few. He muttered something about having a meeting and tried to pull away, but Joey tightened his grip on his hand. They were fifteen feet away from the elevator and Joey had to pull Grant every inch of it, dragging him with both hands as Thomas watched, wishing he could intervene. Joey finally pulled him in, shut the bars, and hit the button for the very basement.

That was the final nail in the coffin. In all of Joey’s rambling sessions, he’d always talked about the basement. That was where all of his rituals happened. All of what Joey had said about the Satanic rituals had been the truth. The passing floors soon gave way to metal walls as the elevator descended. The basement had to be a long way down. Joey finally let go of Grant’s hand and lunged at him. In a split second, Grant had landed a hook punch to Joey’s jaw, knocking him off balance. Joey took a second lunge and this time Grant wasn’t fast enough to stop him. Joey pounded Grant’s head against the metal wall repeatedly. It was impossible to get out of Joey’s grip- he was just too much bigger and stronger. A bump in the elevator ride forced Joey’s grip off of him long enough for him to pull away. Joey lunged for him again, but Grant got out of his way, and Joey rammed headfirst into the metal wall. Grant got in quickly with another punch to the jaw. Joey collapsed, probably primarily from the wall.

The elevator hit the ground, but there was still nowhere to run, given that the only exit was a locked metal door. For a moment, Grant just stood there, catching his breath and attempting to come down from panic. It occurred to him that Joey could wake up at any second. Praying for thirty seconds’ time, Grant rifled through Joey’s pockets for keys- if he could find them and unlock the door, and if he was physically capable of dragging Joey’s body in there so he could leave it there and make it out, and if Joey didn’t wake up-

Joey’s grip tightened around Grant’s ankle. Joey got up, and pulled Grant to the ground. The last thing Grant heard before going unconscious was the sound of his skull cracking before from Joey slamming it into one of the elevator’s metal bars.

Joey panted from the exertion and adrenaline. This could only have been described as a disaster, he thought as he unlocked and opened the door, picked up Grant’s body, and carefully locked it into one of the iron cages he’d used to house ink creatures. Then, he retired to another room within the basement- his private sanctuary. He needed to put on some music and cool down. Joey would take care of Grant later- he hadn’t felt a pulse or breathing, but he hadn’t checked. For now it didn’t matter, since he’d never done a sacrifice during the day and he wasn’t about to start now, as there was no sink in the basement with which to wash off the blood. That had been a major oversight of his. But, he’d been full of oversights, lately- like attempting to wrestle Grant into submission in a moving elevator. He never thought that such a small man would put up such a fight. And then there was Norman to contend with- surely Grant’s disappearance would only raise his already dangerous levels of suspicion. How the hell was he going to kill someone so strong and clever? And that was assuming that Grant hadn’t been lied about no one else knowing. Being a murderer was stressful.

It times like these that Joey really wished he still had Henry. Someone to tell him no, and give him advice like “maybe put a sink in the basement so you can wash off the blood of your sacrifices.” Someone who wanted to listen, wanted to be near him, wanted his body, instead of having that forced upon him. Joey thought that having complete control over a person would be fulfilling, but in effect it had only left him feeling emptier than ever. That was the saddest part, wasn’t it? All this trouble for something so worthless.

[gengarfamily]

I still get reviews and messages sometimes about Don’t Take Forever, and whenever I’m sad I read through them and it makes me SO happy so I thought I’d share My Top DTF Moments and their origins.

Part One: Johto (slowburnhell)

so when I started writing this it was going to be a little cute oneshot collection of nice moments at various points in their journey (but then plot happened so) and all the plot fell together because I was obsessively listening to Lucy Rose at the time, specifically her song Little Brave (which actually gave the title, bc don’t take forever is like the chorus riff).

FAVE part of this chapter is the cafe scene in Olivine, where the foghorn jokes begin and May was crying but subtly doesn’t feel AS sad when she’s around him. The foghorn jokes that I get so much shit for now are from an irl conversation between me and a friend, when we used to give each other shit for our own bouts of seasickness, and he lived in a place where we needed boat transportation to see each other.

Other fave part is probably the hug in Blackthorn, because it makes me all squirmy and warm to think about, and it’s also my fave bit of the piano arrangement I did for this. anyway.

Big belief that Drew associates every single sunset he sees with May so obviously that’s why I kept writing her has wearing burnt orange I’m not sorry. AND OBVIOUSLY THEY KNOW EACH OTHERS BREAKFAST ORDERS THIS ISN’T EVEN A QUESTION.

Top Quote:

“Well you know, foghorns,” he shrugged, and she laughed harder. “They just call out to me.”

Part Two: Sinnoh (angst city)

I love lonely Drew. I LIVE for lonely Drew. Drew brooding and sulking and quietly repressing his emotions because he has more important things to focus on than just his girlfriend being far away; this is my aesthetic. I think my 100% top moment in this was probably catching Driftloom? I love Floroma Town and the windworks as an area in Sinnoh from way back when I first played D/P, I thought it was such a pretty place and if I lived anywhere in the Pokemon Universe it would DEFINITELY be there. 

Originally, I was going to write Drew’s mother as promising lots, and then ditching all the time. Sort of, she really wishes she could be a good mother but she’s just terrible at follow through and she can’t be counted on, so she was going to miss the final match and let him down or s o m e t h i n g, and I was going to have a bit of a stand off between Brendan and Drew, not over May, but over Marina and Drew’s dislike of her making Brendan super angry or SOMETHING. (I had a lot of vague ideas). In the end, I realized Marina was best left alone to be developed properly another time, because I always wanted to let her fall back into place with Jimmy. I also knew I wanted Karen to have some horrible bitterness to her, and some kind of “once mine, always mine,” mentality, so this idea of desperately clinging to her last chance of a good reputation seemed appealing.

Dawn and May in the coffee shop and Dawn yelling loudly about May’s feelings to embarrass her in front of Drew’s Dad is everything that matters to me. Also, I gave May an astigmatism because if you tell me that’s a girl who can see 100% you’re telling me a lie. ALSO DREW AND MAX SHOULD BE BEST FRIENDS that’s all.

Top Quote:

“Drew likes to make you think he’s cool,” Max informed them dutifully, pushing his glasses up his nose a little, “but it’s a lie. It’s a well thought out, calculated lie. This is part of the lie. Never forget, he is in fact a weenie.”

Part Three: Hoenn (1)

I live for the Christmas section here. I wanted to set them up as companions, that even though they traveled separately they were a unit and they were a partnership and what better environment than navigating a family christmas? Caroline and Drew as a friendship means EVERYTHING to me. And anyone who has spoken to me for more than three seconds knows that I have a LOT of feelings about Norman and May, but I’ll talk about that in the next section.

#letpaulappreciatecontests2k17

Shout out to this section for Max, who introduces Drew as top coordinator and full time weenie when he battles Norman. This is the most frequently commented upon moment when I get messages and reviews, and it means so much to me that you seem to share my terrible sense of humor. 

the bit where May does Drew’s tie because she’s used to league functions with her family and Drew is just a sarcastic mess was completely improvised because I had just realised that I would have to cut Hoenn into two parts, and I was naive and thought I’d need padding. I thought I might take it out when I realised HOW LONG Hoenn p2 ended up being but it’s now my fave bit of fluff in the whole thing, so. you know. have at it. and it also kind of hints at the whole sexual tension part of their relationship that gets addressed in part four so here just take it you sinners

The whole phone cliffhanger at the end was originally going to go somewhere SO MUCH MORE DEEP and have this horrible plotline where Drew’s parents had a huge thing and Matthew tried to reach May to talk to Drew before Karen could but I decided it was best to Leave Drew Alone for a while.

Top Quote

“Gross,” Marina commented sagely. “You’re that couple. The ‘oh we just... you know, spent a few weeks drifting around Sinnoh, on a whim. No big deal. We’re so in love, look how gross and happy we are’.”

Part Four: Hoenn (2)

Dawn as main rival is best main rival; obviously. I wanted a differing ~main~ person for M&D to come up against as a collective in every section at first, so it would start with Marina and then Brendan and then Dawn, but all with very differing kinds of rivalries. But then when Brendan stopped being an antagonist, and Karen and Matthew became the bulk of the issue in Sinnoh, much reevaluation happened and I wanted to talk about Drew’s relationship with Harley, so once M&D were together I wanted them to have their own conflicts as individuals and seperate battles to fight, and not lose them to some unified being that lost both of their personalities. I always wanted to have conflict between May and Norman, and definitely May and Solidad as well (again, p4) but once I figured out the Anti-Ikarishipping subplot and the difficulties I wanted Drew to have in that contest season, it made sense to pit him against Paul and Harley in different ways. Harley was a very aggressive rivalry and full of a lot of hurt on both sides, but with Paul I wanted it to be very passive. He was like a figure head for everything Drew had struggled with, and Dawn’s issue with Paul was supposed to mirror what could have happened with May and Drew if it had all gone Wrong.

cookieshipping was OBVIOUSLY going to be a part of this.

I desperately wanted some kind of conflict between Soledad and May, and originally it was going to be more around Soledad’s battling lul and her blaming May for that, and then also blaming her for Drew’s lul, and then all these negative feelings just sort of consuming her and snapping her, and while that doesn’t happen there’s an undercurrent of frustration that May caught her up and makes her a little dismissive but not to the point where she won’t prioritise her and Drew being happy? I guess. I like that their conflict ends up being nothing about coordinating, and nothing about their actual friendship, because they’re two very non-confrontational people, but two very emotionally intelligent people also, so their conflict all stems from an inability to agree with how Drew should process and how much they each individually care about him. Soledad dismissing May as overreacting felt natural because I felt May DID overreact while I was writing it, and with all the grand festival pressure I wanted that. Sometimes I wish I could rewrite it and make the underlying tensions a little clearer, because a lot of that is lost in the actual writing and it doesn’t come through the way I wanted it to, and it makes them all a little petty, but it can’t be helped now. (AKA: my biggest regret.)

I got a lot of people calling me out on the fact May and Drew had sex. in general, I feel like this chapter was both the weakest and the strongest in different ways, depending on what you’re looking for. I knew from the MOMENT I knew the plot that they needed to have that part of their relationship aired, because it’s such a natural and caring part of a lot of relationships and it didn’t seem right that they were becoming so emotionally firm and absolute with each other but were completely limited to little pecks on the cheek - it felt wrong with their characters when they’ve always been - even in the canon - so drawn to one another in a way that would so easily build to that, in the most respectful and caring of ways. anyway I wanted it to parallel their communication, so the more openly they talked with each other, the more physical they would be, in both mannerisms and in eventual actions. (I kept the scene PG so it’s all fine, I guess.)

I’ve gotten a few messages I’ve never publicly responded to about May and Norman and their relationship and where it comes from so here’s my official answer. : no. you’re wrong. it’s not me and my dad. congrats sherlock. I based it off moments in the ruby/sapphire game and the way May responds to him in the anime. Now, the relationship between them in An Adventurer is quite different, and I’ll cop to a part of that being my exploring my relationship with my dad. But it’s mostly manga references and a little bit of lingering tension from an unresolved relationship in DTF.

May and Dawn’s fight was the MOST FUN to write, and when I got to the last of Dawn’s pokemon I was legitimately like “okay so how many pokemon has she got left” and I was STUNNED because there were none, so I wrote that reaction into May’s numb-post-win feel.

The Elite Four part? mmmmmmmm. can’t possibly comment. maybe i’ll explain in the sequel. (COMING THIS SUMMER) *maybe* ((((oh god let me graduate)))))