#it only got like £3 and then the pig itself was willed to the deceased's widow

[corvidaedream]

I'm thinking once again about lucy brown's father's inventory that lists scythes (i assume hand scythes, based on context) in just about every room seemingly at random

like there's maybe a dozen in one drawer in a room, another handful of them in the contents of a desk, more in his shop, more in the bedroom

and I take great joy in picturing the probate officer who was doing the inventory haplessly opening yet another drawer, sighing, and adding more scythes to the list

[weregonnaneedabiggerblog-blog1]

South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999); The “TV Show: The Movie” that Pushed its Source Material into the Future

There was a time where “TV Show: The Movie” movies had broken into the mainstream, and not always for the better. Starting around 1998 with the release of “Rugrats: The Movie”, which went on to become the first Non-Disney animated movie to gross over $1,000,000, company executives and Hollywood producers alike took note and suddenly a big-budgeted wild fire tore through the vast forest that was television; “Recess: School’s Out”, “Hey Arnold! The Movie”, a trilogy of Pokémon movies, “The PowerPuff Girls Movie”, “The Wild Thornberry Movie”, “The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, even the most obscure cartoons of the time like Disney ‘s “Teacher’s Pet” took a try at becoming the next box-office phenomenon. From 1998 – 2004 alone, 15 movies were produced based on television cartoons, almost all of which were just clear cash-grabs to capitalise not only on the brand’s popularity, but the success of "Rugrats: The Movie", and most often, the quality reflected the profit. Whilst a majority of them did make back their budget and then some, barely any were competing with the numbers shown by the Rugrats a few years prior.

  I feel that was because audiences quickly grew accepting of what the quality of the majority of these films would be; just nothing more than a feature length episode of the show that didn’t take any advantage of what the film medium could offer. Regardless however, at this time, “South Park” creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, not being one to not just aboard an opportunity to cause a ruckus in the media, took it upon themselves to bring their ever-so controversial cartoon about the residents of a small Colorado town with a vast catalogue of bad language to the big screen.

  In 1999, the two released into cinema what I still believe to be one of the boldest and most important steps the South Park series had to take in order to be where it lies today; By taking everything that worked about the show, and using every advantage the film medium could give to make one of the most simultaneously funny, vulgar, offensive and yet smart animated films ever made.

  After their favourite Canadian TV starts Terrance and Philip release their feature film debut “Asses of Fire”, young South Park residents Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny (all voiced by Stone and Parker) become fixated with the movie’s offensive language, with the starts often referring to each other as “Pig Fucker” or “Uncle Fucker” When this language interferes with the boys’ lives, primarily when Cartmans tells his teacher to “suck my balls” or when Kenny kills himself trying to set his fart on fire like Terrance and Philip do in the movie, the parents of the town start a protest group which starts as an attempt to get the film banned in the United States, that very quickly spirals out of control and leaves Kyle’s mom arresting the controversial duo and becoming President Clinton’s Secretary of Offence as the country declares war on Canada. With only two days before Terrence and Philip are executed, the children of South Park quickly scramble to find of a way to show their parents that they’ve got too far, whilst their deceased friend Kenny also tries to warn them of how the day of Terrance and Philip’s death was prophesised by Satan himself to be the day he returns to bring 1000 years of darkness unto the Earth.

  As you may have been able to gather from that plot summary alone, there are a lot of views and themes going on throughout this movie’s short 76 minute runtime (a length I personally believe plays well into the “Bigger, Longer & Uncut” subtitle of the movie. Aside from the obvious circumcision joke) Perhaps the film’s biggest statement is not-only ironic but contradictory method the children’s parents have in tacking “Asses of Fire” and its obscene content. Rather than taking more interest in what their children can and can’t watch for example, they instead feel the need to put the blame not only on the creators of the movie, but their country of origin instead (perhaps also a metaphor for the blame people put on a country rather than just those responsible. This film did release a year after the 1998 United States Embassy Bombings and does feature a deceased Saddam Hussein as Satan’s emotionally abusive lover after all). These parents getting radical over obscene language could also clearly stem from the controversy “South Park” itself was facing at the time with parental groups during its original 3 season airing, back when the show’s animation was the cardboard cut-out equivalent to an early 2000s flash animation on Newgrounds.com. This point is very interesting to me as not only does it act as Matt Stone and Trey Parker’s “meditation” so-to-speak about all the attention they had created for their show, but it also marks them doing it in a much more mature way

  At least, as mature as a show like South Park can be.

  Rather than have the victims of their cynicism be wild, screaming idiots like the earlier seasons of the shows often portrayed them as (still to a funny extent, mind you.), the movie often portray the antagonists, such as Kyle’s mom, as being so self-sure that they are completely blind to the true consequences of their actions. A perfect example of which is seen in the musical number “Blame Canada”, which has a chorus consisting of the protesting, parents chanting:

  “Blame Canada

  Blame Canada

  We need to form a full assault

  Its Canada’s fault!”

  That’s another thing I failed to mention. This film is a straight up comedy-musical. Decades before they showed many their talent at catchy musical writing with their Broadway show “The Book of Mormon”, Matt Stone and Trey Parker wrote a grand total of ten original songs, preforming almost all of them as well, for a South Park movie of all things. Regardless, almost every song on the soundtrack is hilarious and ridiculously catchy, with some of my personal favourites being the before mentioned “Blame Canada”, as well as Terrance and Philip’s lead single in the movie “Uncle Fucka”, Principal Teacher Mr. Mackey’s lesson on alternatives to swearing “It’s Easy, M’kay” and Satan’s solo number “Up There”, which hilariously is the only original song on the soundtrack to have no swearing despite it being performed by the prince of darkness himself.

  Despite the before mentioned accolades, there are a few gripes I have with the movie that keep it from being the almost perfect movie I feel it so desperately wanted to be. For one thing, the entire “Satan will rule the Earth upon T&P’s death” subplot only really added up to Satan standing up to Saddam and his emotional abuse he gave (again, something pretty funny for the prince of darkness to endure), and that school teacher Mr. Garrison’s hand puppet, Mr. Hat, replaces Saddam.

In fact, almost the entirety of the ending does feel very rushed.

On the night of Terrance and Philip’s broadcasted electrocution, complete with a pre-show performance by South Park resident Big Gay Al, the kids with the assistance of a small French child known as “Ze Mole”, whose accent and extreme hatred for God make him one of South Park’s best one-off characters, attempt to save the Canadian comedians, only for an ambush by the Canadian Army and a resulting firefight to result in their death, unleashing Satan, Saddam and all of Hell onto the Earth. In almost no time at all, Satan realises how Saddam has used him and casts him back to the fires of Hell, calling off his attack in the process (Oh, and Kenny’s face is finally revealed. Surprise! He looks just like all the other characters in the show except with blond hair) Sheila and the parents realise how they went too far and all is forgiven as the town reprises the opening song. All of which take place in the span of 5 – 10 minutes. Whether this was due to Stone and Parker not having any more funny material, wanting the film to conclude with the same cheeriness of the opening (hence the reprise) or just simply not knowing how else to end it aside from, well, ending it.

  Regardless of an ending that could have done much more than what it did I fell, the rest of this movie is almost flawless. Some may complain about the crude, cardboard cut-out artstyle and the resulting stiffness of movement, but honestly, I think it just adds so much more the film’s crudeness. Aside from that, almost every single joke, from the recurring gags from the show to what is newly presented, had me having at very least a snort and at most uncontrollable laughter. All of which is captured by the amazingly funny music and solid performances, even from the most unlikely of celebrity cameos, such as George Clooney as the doctor trying to save Kenny’s life. This film, like the show, is definitely an acquired taste. If you’re willing to possibly have your beliefs mocked however, you just may find something in this almost perfect TV-to-movie adaptation.

[one-of-us-blog]

Bringing Up Baby (TGG, Season 3, Episode 3)

Today Eli is forced to watch and recap Bringing Up Baby, Episode 3 of the third season of The Golden Girls.  Will this episode make him squeal with delight, or leave him sadly longing for a different show?  Keep reading to find out…

First, a quick public service announcement: Did you know that every episode of The Golden Girls is now available to stream on Hulu?  No?  Well, get on that!  It makes watching and following along with this blog much easier!  Please note: One of Us! is sadly in no way sponsored by Hulu.

Next, I need to tell Jon that he did a great job with his Turn Left recap!  I have mixed feelings on the issue of previous companions moving in on Donna’s space.  It took me a while to warm up to Donna, but I really love her now, and agree that she is fully deserving of her own character arc.  I actually think she does get an arc that distinguishes itself quite a bit from any other companion in the show’s history.  But it is nice to see the return of an old friend from time to time and, unfortunately for Donna, this was still in the era of the show in which companions were generally limited to starring for a single season/series (with the exception of Rose, who got two), so it was kind of inevitable that those friendly faces would steal some of Donna’s time in the sun.  I agree it has probably happened a bit too much this season.  But that being said, I still feel this is a very strong season of the show, and I’m excited to see you finish it off!

Now, it’s time to recap an episode of The Golden Girls in which the gals are also joined by an unexpected companion, so let’s head to Miami!

Episode written by Barry Fanaro and Mort Nathan, directed by Terry Hughes

As the episode opens, Dorothy answers the front door to discover her mother returning home, uncertain of her location.  This is probably due to the fact that she has lost her glasses, which were supposedly broken at the mall (but may in reality have been broken in a street fight, or lost in a high stakes wager).  Sophia had a very hard time getting back to the house, and all of her attempts to use a pay phone just resorted in purchasing condoms.  Blanche is also present, concerned about which necklace compliments her dress to produce the “easy” effect for which she’s aiming.  Lastly, Rose enters the scene, returning home with some odd news.  Her uncle back in Minnesota has passed away, and in his will he left her custody of his baby.  His BABY?  The girls are a bit perplexed as to how to address the situation.  Blanche shows some concern for Rose, but mostly just ends up complimenting herself and manages to prompt a rare triple-take from Dorothy that would meet even the high standards of Sir Patrick Stewart.  Dorothy admits that she always wished for another chance with a child, and soon everyone (with the exception of Sophia) has caught a severe case of hypothetical-baby fever.  Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose take their enthusiasm to a different room, leaving the nearly blind Sophia to head to her bedroom; or, more accurately, to wander into traffic.

The next morning in the kitchen, Sophia wanders in and prepares to defecate on a chair right in the midst of her friends.  The girls alert her that she is not actually in the bathroom and she exits, blaming her new semi-blindness for the blunder.  Personally, I think she was just making a power play, as her sense of in-home geography would have to be pretty sketchy to believe she was actually entering a different room.  For that matter, her venture into traffic in the previous scene was likely also a part of this sick game.  Rose has been looking at old pictures, and Blanche has been worrying about the fact that the baby won’t have a male role model in its life.  The gals tell her not to be concerned, especially Rose, who confuses Dr. Spock with Mr. Spock and informs her that on Vulcan babies are born in pods, so what does he know about child-rearing anyway?  At last, a man arrives at the door introducing himself as the deceased uncle’s legal representative, and he’s here with “the baby.”  Only, as it turns out, “the baby” is actually Baby, a beautiful prized pig.  Surprise!  The pig was apparently the pride and joy of Rose’s uncle, and her farm nostalgia starts firing on all cylinders.  She is thrilled to have the pig with them, but the other girls are less than enthusiastic.  That is, until the man at the door informs them that Baby comes with an incentive of $100,000 in pigbucks, providing the gals can look after him until his dying day; and as it turns out, our new piggy friend is currently 29 years into a projected 25 year lifespan, and Rose is willing to split the money.  Welcome home, Baby!

We jump ahead in time a bit, to a scene in which Sophia is lounging on the lanai, still without her spectacles.  Baby wanders over to eat some of her food that was left at ground level, as Dorothy finally delivers a new pair of glasses with the wrong frames to her.  She looks like Buddy Holly might have if the music hadn’t died, but at least she can see!  We learn that, much to Dorothy’s dismay, Rose has been giving the pig free reign of the house.  She just loves having a pig around, but Dorothy is a bit more curious about when the oinker will shuffle off this mortal coil and head to the big slop pile in the sky.  Blanche is also fuming mad, as Baby tore up her nightgown and has shown a tendency to watch her shower.  Rose decides to call her family to see if someone else can take Baby off her hands, but Dorothy recalls that this would cost them the attached $100,000.  She and Blanche hastily change Rose’s mind to allow the pig to stay, and the two conspirators are forced to cut Sophia in on the deal along the way.  Once again we see Sophia’s incredibly subtle manipulation of events in play, as seconds after she is promised a $25,000 share, a suddenly sickly Baby collapses off screen.

Again, we cut ahead to the kitchen.  Rose is very sad about Baby’s current medical condition, and the girls attempt to comfort her; well, except for Sophia, who prefers to make sadistic ham jokes, and earns herself a wonderfully cold stare from Rose.  After Rose leaves, the other girls begin talking about their favorite subject again: the money.

Another jump forward, and Blanche, Dorothy, and Sophia have returned home from a shopping spree, on which they’ve spent some major pigbucks that they haven’t yet earned.  Rose reveals them that a veterinarian has come to see Baby, and the vet informs them all that the real issue is that Baby has a mental problem.  Simply put, he’s homesick.  Rose immediately plans to send Baby back to the farm but the gals jump in to convince her otherwise, complimenting her as a pig-keeper and overstating their own swine-related affection.  Rose eventually gives in and even thanks the girls for being the best friends ever.  This causes the girls to experience guilt, prompting another shopping spree to cheer them up a bit.

Next, we find Dorothy choked up in the kitchen, struggling with her feelings of guilt regarding the money and Baby’s welfare.  Blanche and Sophia have no such qualms, and have returned home with a new Mercedes.  Dorothy has resolved to tell Rose the truth about what they are doing and give back the money, but Blanche promises anything if she will contain herself, even offering up one of her sons.  Nevertheless, Dorothy makes her way to Rose’s bedroom.  Baby (or something vaguely pig-shaped) is lying in bed with Rose and still very sickly.  Dorothy comes clean, and when Blanche is convinced that Baby really is homesick and depressed, even her heart is melted.  They both feel awful and beg Rose’s forgiveness.  She is pretty upset on Baby’s behalf, and tells them that a kiss on the nose would be a good apologetic gesture.  They both proceed to kiss her on the nose, and this cheers her back up.  She could never stay mad at them!  The trio has all unanimously decided to send Baby back home where he’ll be happy, forfeiting the money.  Sophia, however, is not pleased about this turn of events, but once again was not consulted in the matter.

In the (almost) final scene, the gals are in the kitchen where Sophia finally has a new pair of glasses with the correct old lady frames.  She’s still moping quite a bit, and Dorothy tells her to get over it, even if she’s having her own problems coping with the loss of excess cash.  A letter arrives from Rose’s cousin, informing her that Baby was very happy to be back on the farm, and that this was a great time for him to spend his final hours…Baby has actually died, along with any hope the girls had of claiming the associated $100,000 (though honestly, that cousin is kind of a jerk for not offering up any of the cash given that Baby was back home for all of 36 hours).  The gals are all now really depressed, and even their new Mercedes is being taken.  Dorothy never even got to ride in it.  To cheer themselves up a bit, we get one more mini-scene in which the gals manage to take a ride in the new car, even if this occurs while it is being pulled away by a tow truck.

The End.

I enjoyed this episode, though not as much as the previous one, and definitely not as much as the perfect season opener.  Sophia managed to land some pretty good pig-related jokes and I loved seeing Rose’s enthusiasm for the new companion, but the missing glasses gag only really worked a couple of times and I couldn’t quite buy the way the $100,000 pig-stipend was administered and awarded only upon Baby’s demise.  This one is good for some chuckles, but it probably won’t be an episode I revisit very often once I’ve wrapped up the entire series.  I give Bringing Up Baby a score of 3.5 poofy hairdos out of 5.

Be sure to stop back in tomorrow as Jon nears the end of the fourth series of Doctor Who and treats us to a recap of The Stolen Earth, and I’ll report back in on Friday with my take on The Housekeeper, the next episode of The Golden Girls.  Until then, as always, thank you for being a friend, and for being One of Us!