#it must be annoying to have to answer questions about a film he's not even in

[lyledebeast]

That one interview where Russell Crowe is like "Well I wouldn't know about (plot of Gladiator II), would I? I'm dead!"

Everyone thought Maximus would find peace in death, but apparently not!

[xneens]

Strauss asking reader into her office to talk about the tiktoks reader made about Hotch? 🤭

You haven't even greeted the team before Strauss sends you an email, asking you to meet her in her office as soon as you get in. You can't help but feel annoyed at the message, dropping your stuff off in a huff on your desk.

When you knock on her opened door, you see Aaron sitting in one of the chairs across from her, eyebrows raised when he sees you enter. "You wanted to see me?"

Strauss nodded, gesturing to you to come inside. As you shut the door behind you, she continued. "I wanted to talk to you and Agent Hotchner about a few videos you posted that are questionable."

Immediately you know what she's talking about. Glancing at Aaron with fear in your eyes, you saw his lips twitching, fighting back a smile. You don't know whether to be embarrassed and mortified or annoyed he isn't as worried as you.

Clearing your throat, you turned back to your boss's boss, slowly sitting down in the chair next to Aaron. "What videos?"

You see Aaron cover his lips with his hand when Strauss pulls out her laptop, a video you made from your TikTok account on the screen. Without a single word, she hits play and Umbrella fills the office as you lip sync to it with Aaron in the background looking up after a second and a smile forming on his face.

In the caption you've written, "When he's a 6'2", 45-year-old criminal profiler in a suit and tie." while lip-syncing the "Come into me" part of Rihanna's song. When the video ends, you look over at Aaron and see he's expressionless. You start to panic.

"Oh ... That one. I see." you said, inwardly slapping yourself for the answer. Strauss

raised an eyebrow. "What about it?"

"There's more," Strauss replied, ignoring your question as she clicks on another video.

You can't help but cringe as the sound plays very loudly. When the video finishes, she raises an eyebrow. "Now what did you mean when you said 'catch me on that dick tryna ride like a rodeo' with a picture of Agent Hotchner?”

You can't help the awkward laugh that escapes you because despite not knowing if you're in trouble or not, Strauss saying dick made you giggle. "Technically, I didn't say it. It was the song."

"You wrote it in the caption, didn't you?"

“. .. Yeah."

Silence fills the room and before you can ask, she pulls up a video of you filming

Aaron-who was well aware of the video, by the way, with the caption "Him in a beard >>" and the sound of dogs barking as the audio. You hear a nearly inaudible laugh from the man sitting next to you but you don't dare look.

Strauss clicks on another TikTok, but instead of a video, it was photos in a slideshow. You had to bite your tongue when the "Get destroyed or get destroyed" caption showed up along with a picture of Aaron with his tie undone. This was truly the weirdest, most embarrassing, and funniest shit you've gotten in trouble for.

When Strauss doesn't continue showing you videos you made about how hot your boss is—there's so much more, so much that someone might think you're dating—you meet her eyes and give her an apologizing look. "I'm sorry, I didn't know this was against policy."

"It's not," Aaron answers, speaking for the first time since you entered the room. "What did you want to talk to us about, Erin?"

She sighed, closing her laptop. "Aaron, I've told you before, there's no reason to hide this relationship. It's better to tell me what's going on other than have someone else find out and have another sexual harassment meeting again."

"Oh, he and I aren't—" you start to say, gesturing between you and Aaron.

"No, but you'd like to be." Strauss cuts you off, eyes narrowing at Aaron. “There's no policy against coworkers dating but there are rules if you start dating your subordinate."

Aaron nods, glancing briefly at you before speaking. "And what are those rules?"

"You must BCC your emails to each other to someone in HR, and complete the sexual harassment training segment again," she responded.

"Alright," Aaron replies, nodding once again.

You're dumbfounded when she dismisses the both of you, eyes flickering back to Aaron as you walk out of her office. Once you're back at your desk, you turned to him. "Well that was embarrassing.

He snorted. "Not as embarrassing as Bob from HR will be when he reads our emails."

You blinked. "What?"

Aaron smiled, slowly backing up from your desk as he made his way to his office. "We'll have to BCC him in our chats, honey."

[agroupiewhore]

Some random headcanons about what it would be like to date Fran. I haven't wrote anything in ages so apologies if this is shite. Please no hate. 💗💖🍓💕❤️🎀

*Disclaimer: This is my own work and my own self-indulgent ideas, none of this is based in reality.

If anyone wants a part 2 please let me know or has any questions or suggestions for improvements then please let me know, I apologise in advance for spelling and grammar errors.

🎀 This man can cook. He is amazing in the kitchen, will make you whatever you fancy no matter what time it is or whatever you fancy, nothing is too much trouble for him. Cooking you something is his love language.

🎀 He would much rather read then watch something. On the evenings you spend together you're sat on the sofa together reading. He will also read aloud to help you fall asleep.

🎀 No matter what the time is this man will come and pick you up. "But babe, I'm probably gonna be staying out till like 3am" "Ok mi amor, I come get you then" "But aren't you due on set at like 5:30am?" "Yes, and? I come pick you up at 3, I love you."

🎀 Will pay attention to all the little things that you like and remembers them so he can surprise you later on.

🎀 Never ever puts you down or makes fun of you when you're practicing Spanish with him and vice versa for when he is talking with you.

🎀 100% that annoying couple which never seem to argue. Just a walking disney film. The guys all tease him about it. "But you must argue over something, anything!?" "No, nothing" "I bet he leaves the toilet seat up" "No, always puts it down"

🎀 Believes in the art of letter writing and writes you letters in that fancy calligraphy writing. (Something he learned for a part in a theatre production)

Here is a small imagine, no TW etc, a little bit of making out etc, pg/13

A surprise

"My love" Fran said as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer. "I can finish the dishes, it's ok".

"No I got it" you said as you began drying off some of the plates. "Besides you must be tired after yesterday's wrap party".

"It was fun, you need to come to the next one" he said as he brushed your hair aside to kiss your neck softly. "I missed you alot, the others were asking for you".

"I'll be at the next one babe, I promise" you answered setting the plate down and turning to face him. Fran was beautiful and you couldn't believe how lucky you were. You wrapped your arms around him and rested your forehead against his. "I think you need a second helping of that dessert you made. You need it". Fran smirked and kissed your nose.

"I said you don't need to ever worry about me. I promise, I'm going to be ok" he answered.

"Oh I got you something, to celebrate the film being done" you said going to pull away.

"No wait, just one more second, I want to stay like this forever with you" he said enjoying the moment, he felt he could be anywhere in the world but as long as he was with you he was home. You smiled and held onto him a little tighter.

"You did not have to get me something. I already have everything I need, I'm very lucky like that you know. Can carry everything I'll ever need in my hands" he smirked as he picked you up, catching you off guard.

"Fran!" You laughed as you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist. "O my gosh put me down, I need to go and get your present". You looked down into his beautiful deep eyed and cupped his cheeks and began kissing him. He had the softest lips and skin. He kissed you deeper savouring the taste of your peach flavoured lip balm. Peaches were his favourite fruit. A fact you'd noted quite early on. You remembered the look of surprise and satisfaction on his face the day he'd realised your lip balm was the same flavour as his favourite fruit.

"Fran... I need... to get... your gift" you said between kisses. "Please mi amor". Fran smiled against your neck, there was something extremely hot about you using Spanish pet names for him. He was so in love with you it was unreal.

"Just one more my dear, please" he begged staring up at you. How could you say no to him? You lent down and kissed him, twice though. It was a small little ritual the two of you had. He would always ask for one more kiss whether it was before going off to sleep, before he would leave for set or an audition or before going on stage. You always kissed him twice just to be safe. He gently set you down and stroked your cheek.

"Te amo, mi amor" he smiled.

"I love you more" you answered before squeezing his hand and leaving. He heard you going upstairs and into the second bedroom. He was excited at the prospect of seeing what you'd got him although he was more excited to see your face at his gift for you. He smiled wider as he placed his hand into his trousers pocket and felt the box with an engagement ring inside.

[danieyells]

Funny idea for you but like imagine a time skip of ShoLeoMc just chilling in bed until Leo suggests "We should go to a haunted house and film our reactions."

"What's wrong with the one we live in?" (Referring to Zenji who is the unofficial roommate)

Both Sho and Leo stare at MC, "What do you mean? MC, what do you mean by that?!" While MC falls asleep.

Sho was not aware of anything at all in their home what the fuck do you mean there are ghosts here. They live in a modern house. There's no way anybody died here, Leo spoke to the previous owners before they bought it. Wake the fuck back up and explain yourself.

Meanwhile Leo is groaning so it was a fucking ghost???? Like, he figured from all the cold spots in the house and the weird noises he was always hearing whenever he spies on the neighbors that maybe there was a ghost here but. Ugh, PC clearly brought a ghost with them from somewhere.

They've probably dealt with worse shit than ghosts so I don't think they'd be scared or worried or anything--if the PC knows the ghost then it's probably not a threat(aside to being a threat to Leo's ears and ability to sleep at night because stop making noises I hate you) but like. They are definitely gonna have a conversation about bringing stray anomalies into the house in the morning.

(And to answer their question, Leo clarifies that the ghost in their house is not scary. It's just annoying and a little noisy and he's gotten too used to it to get any good reactions out of it. Not even noisy enough to be a poltergeist, just like. Sometimes he hears Zenji moving things around. In rare instances he hears him talking when he uses his stigma, which is super annoying when he's trying to hear other things. Oh, and the music the PC said must have been the neighbors? Did they really think he couldn't tell that was coming from inside their own house? Did the ghost die sucking at the biwa because that'd explain why he hasn't gotten any better. Leo is extremely critical of their "roommate", but he knows well enough that ghosts aren't really threatening anomalies in and of themselves so he doesn't care as long as Zenji keeps the noise to a minimum. Sho, meanwhile, asks when Zenji's gonna start paying rent. Can the ghost eat?)

[joealwyndefenseattorney]

Allow me to enter the "adult conversation". I want to answer to that anon aswell.

why didn't he show up for taylor when she needed support?

what do you even mean? As in public or private? Cause privately you don't know anything and if she stayed with him for years clearly he was doing something right. If you mean in public, first of all how do you know Taylor needed support and how do you know when she needed it? Did you expect him to drop everything and go to every single event of hers? Which is kind of hard given that she's constantly doing things and he has a job unlike what you all think. And he did supported her by the way they way

Why was he resentful of her success?

who told you he was resentful of anything? The voices in your head?

Why didn't he go with her to several awards shows? Including the Grammys!

which awards shows exactly are you referring to? Because the usual examples swifties give were on dates he was working. Funny you should mention the Grammys cause he was in the backstage of the 2022 Grammys, when even the relationship was mostly likely dead. If you mean the 2021 Grammys, he was filming. There was a pandemic and travel restrictions. Even if he could have gone, he would have to stay in quarantine before and after obviously messing up the filming schedule

Why did he party in her house whilst ignoring her all the time?

I'm sick of this party story you all got from out of nowhere. And apparently somehow even for the scope he ignored her at said party. First of all, they were living together on that house, as much as you think otherwise it wasn't her house. It was their house, as partners of years who already lived together anyway. He was not a high school kid having to ask for permission from his parents to throw a party. So if he did use the house to throw a party, it's not this outrageous thing you make it out to be. Let me remind you Taylor met and was friend with his co-stars aswell.

Why did he want her to not be as famous as she is now while Travis is very open to it?

Again, who told you he didn't want her to be famous? And I'm guessing you must be a teenager because asking why one person is ok with something someone else isn't is screaming I don't have life experiences. Think about it, if you like tomatoes does that mean everyone likes tomatoes? Ofc not, because we all have different tastes. So why does Travis loves fame and Joe doesn't? Obviously because they are two different people. And quite clearly not only Travis is ok with Taylor's fame, he also loves it and wants to be famous too.

Taylor wanted to be loved out loud but joe always seemed embarrassed by her.

if Taylor wants to be loved out loud good for her, but not everyone does and not everyone has the same love language. If she wanted that, that bad then she should have left Joe earlier cause he shouldn't change who he is to please her. They were together for years, she had plenty of time to realize he couldn't give what she wanted.

And if you mean he was embarassed as in I'm trying to do my job and promote it and people want to know about my personal life instead... that's just you thinking he should have given you content

Why didn't he answer what his fave taylor song was?

Again, because the interviews were about his job not personal life. Because he didn't want to, which is more than enough reason. Because you are not entitled to know about it anyway lol also that question was made back in 2018 when they were very much still very closed off. Maybe after folkore they would have had more luck. The only person entitled to know was Taylor and I'm sure she did so

Why did it always seem like he hated us, the fans?

As he should???? You are all fucking annoying and vile. And if he didn't hate you before, after how you all treated him over the last year he has more than reasons to. If you want the serious answer, he wasn't obliged to love any of you. He wasn't in a relationship with any of you. Get that in your skull. The person he loved was Taylor and that was the person he was in a relationship with. The reason you like Travis is because he's bootlicking you, but I assure you that's not the normal thing. Anyone normal doesn't care to appease and try her gf's fans to like you. The most he should do is respect you and not treat you badly and Joe always followed that. But ofc he didn't care beyond that. Why should he?

Why did he interact with several of his female co stars but locked her away in the basement of his heart?

not the basement. Like stop with this quoting her lyrics as a form of criticism. It's cringe as hell. Also he interacted with his co-stars (regardless of gender) yeah. Did you want him to just ignore them??? In which planet do you live?

Or literally not see she was depressed as he left her behind at home (caging her) while he went to the bar?

Not caging her. Stop you're ridiculous. Taylor wasn't chained at home. If she wanted to go out no one would stop her. Stop being ridiculous ffs. What bar are you even talking about? Is this about the black dog song which not only is post breakup but not even about him? And guess what, by Taylor's own words he was also depressed. So you can also ask yourself, why should he have empathy for her depression when he was depressed and she talks about it like a burden?

[delicatesoundofthunderr]

Lock-up ~ Chapter 2

{Charles Leclerc x Reader}

chapter 1 ^

•••

Present - Club in Spain

A few drivers had decided to go clubbing after the Grand Prix, you included. It was a well known place in Barcelona with deafening music that left a ring in your ears.

You were having fun dancing, drinking, and talking with Carlos and Lando on the dance floor when somebody caught your eye.

It was Leclerc, but he had brought along a girl with him. The girl he was rumoured to be dating after breaking up with Charlotte last year.

You shrugged it off and continued to have fun with your friends. The shots were quickly taking over your body, and suddenly everything was funny. Was Lando always this silly?

You barely noticed when Leclerc and the girl joined you guys on the dance floor. You introduced yourself to the girl and felt the urge to hug her. You embraced her and she laughed at your drunken state before dancing with you.

You asked Carlos to pour you another shot when a hand stopped him.

" Mate I think she's had enough yeah?" Charles quickly interrupted, obviously annoyed at you and Carlos' behaviour.

You roll your eyes, very much annoyed with his words. Did he think you couldn't handle more or something?

" I can manage for myself, Leclerc. You're not my fucking dad." you fumed.

" Nah if he were your dad he'd probably be giving you drills right now. And he'd be an asshole." Lando giggled, drinks kicking in for him too.

You gasp at Lando's words before giving in to the drinks.

" Well Leclerc's got the asshole part perfected."

Charles gave you the biggest unamused face, which made you and Lando giggle even more.

" If I really was your dad I wouldn't even be near you, and you'd be scared to confront me like that." he scoffed.

" Fuck off Leclerc." you annoyingly replied. What a way to ruin your mood.

He rolled his eyes and left with the girl who gave you a quick smile. You soon lost them in the crowd.

Poor her, you thought. She must be so done with him. You let out an exasperated sigh and said your goodbyes to Lando and Carlos.

" Why so soon?" Lando complained.

" Blame Leclerc, I can't stand him. Does he think I can't handle myself or something?"

" I don't know what's up with him." Carlos admitted, looking in the distance intensely.

When making your way to the exit, you spotted Charles and the girl again. Smiling and laughing. Seeing him happy low-key made you even more annoyed and pissed.

You left the club and headed back to your hotel by taxi.

•••

Y/N POV

I was now staring at the ceiling above my bed, wondering why Leclerc seemed on good terms with everyone but me. He had to have a reason.

Monaco and Canada were of course the biggest turning points, but I genuinely thought we could maybe overcome it. I was wrong.

Charles was still an asshole and I was more than happy to return the favour.

A part of me of course wished that our friendship had survived, but I started to think it was for the best. Charles and I had both drastically changed since our debut year in F1. In addition, it only meant less distractions. That was the last thing my thirst for winning needed.

He was with Ferrari, the team Max and I had to beat. It only made sense to dislike him. But then there was Carlos... I guess it was okay to be friends with Carlos because he was less of a threat. It only made sense.

•••

I woke up in the middle of the night because of a recurring nightmare I had. It always had to do with either my dad or a severe crash. It always left me with headaches and freezing.

When it happened I usually got up to grab a drink and a blanket then went back to sleep, without the promise of not waking up a second time in the night. Most times I was lucky and slept rather well after.

•••

For the upcoming Italian Grand Prix in Monza, Max and I had to film a quick video where we had to answer questions about each other while cooking Italian national dish; Ragu alla Bolognese.

The video was hilarious because we had trouble with questions like favourite colour or middle name, but then we knew the other's worst memory as a child without blinking.

Our dishes were far from perfect, but we decided to eat them anyways. While I thought the cameras weren't turning, I spoke.

" You know, Max, I'm really greatful to have you in my life. I mean, I don't think anybody else knows me this well- not even my dad... Well obviously." I say, awkwardly giggling.

" Well I think Charles must know you better than I do, no?" Max questioned.

" Ha, I don't think so. We've both changed so much, I don't even recognize him sometimes."

I truthfully say.

" I think Charles can also be stressed since he's got a lot of pressure from Ferrari," tried to empathy Max.

" It's no reason to be a total jackass to me, especially since I'm the only one he's acting this way with". I argued.

" Well I-"

" No but seriously. He's way nicer with you and you're a RedBull driver like me..." I continue annoyingly. " I can't stand when people dislike me, I have enough hate through media alone. Way more than enough." I confess sadly.

Max considered my words.

" I find you really brave to still perform under all that pressure and all those pricks trying to get in your head," Max avowed.

A rare compliment from Verstappen which I accepted with open arms, literally.

I hugged him tightly and thanked him for his words. It was short but meaningful, and soon we were both staring at your plates.

" This pasta tastes like ass not gonna lie." Max admited, looking at his dish.

I laughed loudly, and offered him some of my better Bolognese.

We ate and laughed, and I had a genuine smile plastered on my face the whole time.

•••

Shiii Charles is wrong for that ngl

hope yall enjoyed 💞

[darkstar225]

Twice’s 10th member is overworked

It was another day with thousands of things to do on her schedule, from a meeting with JYP (sorry I always imagine it whispered lol) to practice with the girls she calls her sisters. She can't take it anymore but knows there's no other option besides slaying and praying that she doesn't faint from exhaustion. 

As she gets to the meeting with PD-nim he greets her in such an excited way she wants to slap him -with respect, or not- 

JYP - Hey Y/N! How are you doing?

Y/N - I'm fine PD-nim and hope you're too. Not meaning to rush you but, what's this meeting about?

JYP - Well, I noticed you're receiving a lot of good comments about you're dancing so we agreed that you're the best to film the challenges on TikTok for Set Me Free!!

Y/N - Really? But I already got so much to do, any of the girls could do it perfectly

JYP - I guess... however, this could disappoint the fans, don't you think so? 

 Y/N - Okay. I'll do it for the fans!

JYP - That's the spirit! But don't leave yet, we need to talk about your schedule

Y/N - What about it?

At the moment the only thing Y/N had in mind was how good it would be if some of the events she has were cancelled. She's at her breaking point and no one seems to notice.

JYP - We got some modelling with A'pieu for the new collection they're planning to release, isn't that amazing?

Y/N - I'm tired JYP-appa... Can't you deny it? It's too much

JYP - I get you Y/N but this is an incredible opportunity for the group, not only you but the girls too, denying this could affect the rest of TWICE. 

Y/N - Fine. Is the meeting done now?

JYP - Yes, you can go Y/N. See you soon!

Y/N - Bye PD-nim, thank you.

After this horrible experience, she takes off to the practice room to start the routine with the girls, when she got there they're already started and in sync. 

Y/N - Hey unnies, I'm sorry for being late! PD-nim held me up on a meeting *rolls eyes*

Jihyo - That's okay bae, what happened that you're so annoyed?

Sana - My hon is feeling bad, who do I have to hurt?

Y/N - Hopefully you don't wanna hurt PD-nim, Sana unnie lol

Sana - It depends :)

Chaeyoung - Scary...

Dahyun - Fr bro...

Nayeon - Anyway- tell us what's going on kid!

Y/N - Okay, okay, I'd if you let me speak in the first place *crosses arms*

Jeongyeon - Tzuyu's personality is rubbing on you...

Tzuyu - As it should, you go sis!

Y/N - Thanks sis <3 

Jihyo - Tell us now.

Y/N - So... I got pissed 'cause PD put more things on my schedule and you must know how packed it already is, like dang how much more he wants me to do???

Mina - Well-

Y/N - And then he tells me that if I don't go I'm gonna affect you guys, I don't want that :(

Mina - WHAT? 

Momo - Wow, Mina screamed, this is gonna become serious reallyyyyy soon...

Mina - I'm gonna become someone's nightmare.

Sana - I mean, I'm not against it...

Jihyo - Neither am I, no one treats my kid this way!

With all the love she's feeling Y/N finally let go and starts crying, it was so overwhelming and now her sisters are there making her remember she has people she can rely on. Dahyun is the first one to get near enough to engulf their maknae in a warm hug that the others soon join.

Chaeyoung - We're here. 

Mina - We love you.

Nayeon - More than you could ever know sweetheart. 

Y/N - Tysm unnies, it's just 'cause I couldn't take it anymore. There's too much to do, I can't even sleep and eat well, it's been a while...

Jeongyeon - What do you mean babe? You're stopped eating since when?

Y/N - Well... I'm sorry! I didn't mean to.

Jihyo - This doesn't answer the question Y/N L/N, respond right now.

Y/N - It's been 3 days but it's good, I'm perfectly okay!

When these words left their maknae's mouth they couldn't even reply, all of them full of thoughts about how they didn't notice and how they're horrible unnies. They should have seen it coming, their baby always got home late, bags under her eyes and her body becoming thinner each day that passed along the week. Her eyes were full of emotion but her words said the contrary, each day she came to the dorm saying the same "I'm fine, good night unnies.". It was clear and they were blind, the unnies could only feel more stupid as each second inside their own minds passed. The first reaction after some time was to be angry, but they couldn't do anything about it, they took so long that the maknae fell asleep, as she must. 

Jihyo - I can't believe I didn't see it, girls! Let's divide ourselves, some of us go to talk with PD-nim and the others go take her to bed at the dorm. Who wants to do what?

Mina - I wish I could stay with her but I already called it, I'm gonna make this man's life miserable :)

Sana - Amen to that honey. I'll go to the dorm.

Dahyun - We from the SMC are tired from school, we wanna go to the dorm unnie.

Momo - I'll go to the dorm so I can carry the kid!

Jihyo - Okay, then the rest of the unnie line stays here with me.

Jeongyeon - Perfect, let's move girls, JYP must be ready to leave and we need to get there before he goes.

As the unnie line beside Momo left, the others got to work and fixed the practice room and their bags so they could head to the dorm. After calling their manager and informing them of what happened, Momo got near Y/N and gave her a kiss on the head before lifting her bridal style ('cause Y/N's princess ✨) and got to the van. She put Y/N on her lap so it'd be easier to lift her when they arrived, Dahyun to the right and Tzuyu to the left. The maknae line all slept till they stopped at the front of the dorm. Momo woke up the girls, beside Y/N, and carried her to the SMC room laying her near Dahyun that was sitting there waiting for their maknae.

After Chaeyoung and Tzuyu took a bath, they stayed with Y/N so Dahyun could shower too. When they all laid down they felt warm because of the puppy pile and soon fell asleep again. When Momo got there she could only coo quietly and take a photo to send on the group chat. As the unnie line saw the photo after screaming and dissing JYP-nim, they felt at peace with everything again and could only think: 

We love our dear maknaes.

A/N: I apologise for any errors, English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there's something wrong, ty for reading <3

[cillyscribbles]

🧵,❤️,💛,🎁, 🎷,✍️,🎬

ahahah oh wow thank you so much! i will never forget your kindness in giving me the excuse to Yap 🙏🙏 here's ❤️ and 🎁 that i've answered, the rest below!

🧵 What's your favorite production and why?

hahah terrible question for me to answer because i know this will probably change in the near future! i've watched a regrettably tiny amount of productions so far, but out of all of these i'm honestly super torn! 98 film is super dear to my heart as i've watched it upwards of a hundred times and know it front to back. 2005 moscow was strangely enchanting for me to watch because i'm a huge language lover and to hear cats in a language i'm familiar with was striking (the same with det ny teater danish cats!). tecklenburg has a special place in my heart because of the arc munkustrap has in there, and the costuming is fantastic in a "i didn't say it was Good, i said i Liked it" way LOL. i'm really hyped to watch vienna, broadway revival and shiki! so on the fence about this one! :3

💛 What's your favorite familial ship?

no contest, tugger & munkustrap. they're so very brothers to me. i always did read them that way, but a close friend recently commented that he'd always thought they had some sort of ex-boyfriends thing going on and i found that just too funny!! like yeah okay that's fair i could see that, shout out tuggerstrap LOL... but i like interpreting them as siblings with a relationship that's very... can i say authentic when they're both cats? especially the more productions i watch the more i'm deadset on thinking of them that way. them whacking each other and hanging out together and getting on each other's nerves makes me so happy. i write so many things about them just bantering and sticking their tongues out at each other and also being willing to kill for each other. it's just that sort of vibe to me!

🎷 Have you ever seen Cats live? If more than once, which was your favorite?

i never have, though i dream of it (and have had dreams of it) to no end! it must be a magical experience. i'm on the lookout, though - if i spot a production in poland or somehow in the baltic states, i will without fail go through hell and highwater to get myself a seat or a dozen. sadly those are about the only countries i could theoretically travel to for a cats prod, and i've never heard of a production there aside from the polish one. then again, i'm translating cats to lithuanian - and though there's virtually no chance of it going anywhere, to hear the musical performed in my native language would actively change my life, i think. :) perhaps one day!

✍️ If you had total creative control over a production of Cats, what would you change and why?

aside from the, you know, the racism and the xenophobia (there Has to be a way to make a song about a dog fight and a cat superhero not be racist like there just Has to be), and all that... i'd just add more dudes into the tugger fangirl lineup. i get why it's been girls and i know the boys are there as well Sometimes, on the down low, but i think we should even them out. that man's clearly striving for attention from everyone, go ahead and make the whole thing openly bisexual. it'd barely be a change, but i think they all deserve to be free with Equal Horny. come on now :3c

🎬 What's your favorite moment from the show? (can be from any production)

any time munkustrap and tugger annoy each other or check on each other or are physically affectionate toward each other i die and ascend into a new dimension; this is a simple truth about me. they are genuinely not only my favourite familial relationship but also my favourite relationship in the musical overall. but if i had to narrow down a moment, i think currently it'd be the staff exchange in tecklenburg tied with any time munkustrap goes to old deuteronomy like :( and nuzzles his hand because he's anxious or upset. i must admit i am not a very complicated creature hahah.

[countlessrealities]

@spiderdemon888 sent: send ‘👄 + character name’ and my muse will talk about that character [ Vox about Angel]

Vox takes a long sip from his coffee as he stares at the question on the screen of his phone. Setting up that forum has been his idea. It's a bit time consuming and some of the messages were frankly annoying, but it's an easy way for him to gauge what the big public's main interests and opinions are, and also what they think and are curious about when it came to the Vees.

Velvette and Valentino are technically supposed to contribute by answering the inquiries addressed to them, but in truth the Media Demon writes their replies more often than not. It's easier and quicker than having to argue with them over what they absolutely cannot say.

He's the PR guy and the official face of their trio for a reason.

"What do I think of Angel Dust?" Vox reads out loud, a hum following his words. "He's a...dedicated employee, from what I'm told. We don't really interact much, not directly. He's one of Val's."

Truth to be told, most of what he knows about the spider as a person comes from his friend's bitching and temper tantrums. For that reason, it's all information he takes with a grain of salt, because Valentino is anything but objective, even when he isn't acting like a brat.

"I know that he makes us a lot of profit and that he's very popular, so I assume that he must have a real talent for his job. Good for him...and for us."

Pornos aren't exactly the sort of movies he enjoys. He has bothered to watch some of Val's films because the other has insisted, but that's all. He can't be bothered to remember if he has seen one that stars Angel.

"I'll admit that I'm curious about his choice to join the Princess's...experiment. Maybe I'll ask him about that, sooner or later."

Does he really care? Not exactly, but he is keeping an eye on that particular project, for several reasons, so if he finds himself with some free time on his hands...why not?

[destinyc1020]

confession - i'm starting to not care about this press tour on social media because the fans make following it insufferable. there's unnecessary digs at tom already even though he's not even IN this press tour and is minding his own business as usual. the timdayas frustration over flo and z being paired together or austin's existence is transparent and hypocritical. those stans whine whenever tom and z are mentioned together but apparently it's this big crime that they're putting the ladies together despite them actually having valuable and insightful things to say as two women in the industry so far. so many aspects of this fandom are completely delusional and insufferable, i'll be rawly honest. something else that's interesting is that i see a lot of complaints about 'insecure' tomdayas, and yet i never really SEE these insecure tomdayas anywhere. feels like it's just a scapegoat for certain stans to use cause they're upset their fave nonexistent ship haven't been paired together yet when its only been 4 DAYS and there's plenty of time for them to get their fantasy ship fodder or whatever. i'm more excited for the challengers press tour, honestly, at least there isn't an aggressive group of stans who ship z with josh or mike. and being z's first real headlining lead film role where she is front and center? that is so, so exciting. i hope that the fan energy will be a lot more fun and relaxed than what i'm seeing right now.

another confession - timmy's voice in trailers so far pisses me awf! like bro i should not be able to tell that you were raised in new york when you are on a desert alien planet! even when he's shouting it's obvious. austin however surprised me hugely, his voice is unrecognizable. and i'm not saying that all actors should have to do that, it's just that when i can tell you're the actor and not the character like so often with tc im over it. i know this might annoy some anons but it's confession sunday so had to be straight up!

Thanks Anon for your Confession. 😁

there's unnecessary digs at tom already even though he's not even IN this press tour and is minding his own business as usual.

Ugh... SERIOUSLY?? 😒🙄 Tom isn't even in the film? What on earth? Show me what people are saying, cuz I haven't seen those digs. I must not follow the people you all do lol.

the timdayas frustration over flo and z being paired together or austin's existence is transparent and hypocritical. those stans whine whenever tom and z are mentioned together but apparently it's this big crime that they're putting the ladies together despite them actually having valuable and insightful things to say as two women in the industry so far. so many aspects of this fandom are completely delusional and insufferable, i'll be rawly honest.

Yea Anon, it's crazy and awful tbh. These ladies are giving great insightful answers to interview questions, and all some people can do is complain. 🙄

something else that's interesting is that i see a lot of complaints about 'insecure' tomdayas, and yet i never really SEE these insecure tomdayas anywhere. feels like it's just a scapegoat for certain stans to use cause they're upset their fave nonexistent ship haven't been paired together yet when its only been 4 DAYS and there's plenty of time for them to get their fantasy ship fodder or whatever.

Yea, I don't get it either?? Like, I could possibly see someone making that claim/argument if Z and Timmy have actually done an interview together during this press tour, but so far, they haven't! 🤷🏾‍♀️

What's there for Tomdaya fans to be "insecure" about lol? 😅

Like I keep saying, OG Tomdaya stans are NOT the least bit threatened by Timothee. We're super secure in our ship lol. 😅

i'm more excited for the challengers press tour, honestly, at least there isn't an aggressive group of stans who ship z with josh or mike. and being z's first real headlining lead film role where she is front and center? that is so, so exciting. i hope that the fan energy will be a lot more fun and relaxed than what i'm seeing right now.

Giiiirrrrrl.... Don't speak too soon lol. 👀 And don't count on a more "relaxed" press tour with challengers. I've just come to realize that anything having to do with Zendaya is gonna be "fan drama" lol.   You know these weirdos out here wanna ship Z with every Tom, Dick, or Harry lol (no pun intended lol 🤭). There are just some weirdos in her fandom, I'm sorry. I guess that's what happens though when you get SUPER huge. But don't let a vocal minority speak for the whole entire fandom or press tour.

But anyway, yea, I can't wait for the Challengers press tour either! I'm enjoying the DP2 press tour so far as well. I just ignore the nonsense and focus on my faves lol.

It should be exciting seeing Z doing press for her first LED film on the big screen! 😁

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Hello again M🕵🏻‍♀️,

I just read your answer to the 1950s film anon with the MUBI screenshots and got so very excited! 📽️😻🎞️

Your suggestions are in oh-so-excellent tastes! I had to come here to share my favs (okay some might be from the 60s…😳🫢)

🚬”Breathless” (Jean Seberg & Jan Paul Belmondo, need I say more?!)

🥲”Bonjour Tristesse” (again, Jean Seberg, and the novel by Françoise Sagan was an absolute banger too!)

📸 “Rear Window” (My fav Hitchcock. James Stewart is actually not annoying in this one.)

🌂”Mon Oncle” (Jacques Tati might be an acquired taste, esp. in America…but I love the minute details he obsess over in all his films that create the whole quirky-kitsh-odd, sometimes bizarre atmosphere)

💎”Breakfast at Tiffany���s” (🙄I know, cliche…but I just love Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard in this one, even with the despicable depiction of quasi Japonesque character Mr. Yunioshi played by Mickey Rooney. Funny how Peppard also went on to act in action films/shows later, just like Belmondo)

👑���Roman Holiday” (I’m partial to Gregory Peck in this one.)

⛵️”Plein Soleil” (Alain Delon is breathtaking in this one…)

Ohgosh~🫣there already are too many! Sorry! I’m just so excited for the transformation of your space where I can now find and talk about two of my odd varieties of obsessions (Bangtan & films)!

P.S. Much newer, but do you happen to like Wim Wenders films by any chance? What about Jim Jarmusch?

Your excitement is contagious, anon! This list takes me back to high school, each film has a different memory attached to it.

If you like Jean Seberg, I recommend listening to a series from the You Must Remember This podcast. Her career and life was discussed in detail in parallel with Jane Fonda. Look it up and you'll find it easily. The shooting for Bonjour Tristesse was a bit of a hell for Jean.

Your comment about James Stewart took me out because I understand the feeling. I'm not a fan, there's something about him that annoys me (maybe the way he talks?), but I can see that he was a good actor. I don't have anything serious to criticize.

Yes, Tati is an acquired taste. It never got to me to the point of wanting to watch a lot of his filmography, but he is one of a kind and an influence to those that came after him (Greta mentions him for the inspiration behind Barbie as well)

With Breakfast at Tiffany's, a cliche or not, does it matter? It's too iconic. Yes, it has a reputation and good material for specific tumblr/pinterest aesthetics, but for good reason. If we take all that aside, we're still left with something of value, given that it's also an adaption of a Capote novel.

There's so much to talk about Audrey Hepburn that it requires a separate post. I don't think Hollywood had another actress like her or even coming close to that kind of presence. She was a movie star in her own category. Anyway, I never became a fan of Gregory Peck (I didn't go and search his films) but damn the guy was hot. Can I have a Roman Holiday too? Just like that? 😄

Alain Delon in Plein Soleil is a sin. And a perfect summer film. With this guy, I have to manage to separate the actual person and his political beliefs from the star he was in the 60s. Same with Brigitte Bardot. Ignore and store that in the back of my head so I can enjoy the films.

As to your questions, I could never get into the Jarmusch vibe, although I did watch a few of his films. I don't have anything against him he's good and a true artist, but it doesn't match with my taste. With Wim Wenders, I know Wings of Desire, Paris, Texas, The American Friend, Pina. Again, it's the type of director that has his place in film history, but I never focused particularly on him.

[mcrmadness]

001 About Richy and Igor

002 About Igor specifically (wanna hear your thoughts about him in depth :D)

003 about Monty Python characters? if it's even possible?

(I would gladly hear you on 001 about FuB, but as I'm being absolutely too much, I can understand that you don't do it. It's extra content :D)

((Also, you are free to answer to this ask for only one ask and do the others on separate posts for more clarity !))

I reblogged this ask game before reading any of the questions, and after receiving your ask, I read them and now I have to say that my questions are probably gonna be very, VERY underwhelming ::D So don't get too excited, cos I don't think I'm able to give you the type of answers you might be interested in reading :D But I'll try anyway, but know that you're been warned: boredom alert!!!

001 | Richy & Igor

when I started shipping it if I did: Must have been in 2009 when I found out about die ärzte for the first time. I watched every video I could find, including Richy Guitar. At first I didn't really care about the film, and I wasn't exactly shipping R/I but more of obsessing with the clips because of my new Bela/Farin obsession. I got way more into the ship only during the past 2 or 3 years, when I also started writing fanfiction about them, and then it evolved into drawing doodles and comics too.

my thoughts: Uh, what can I say? Head empty, no thoughts. My brain keeps hyperfixating on this ship for no good reason.

What makes me happy about them: Nothing.

What makes me sad about them: Nothing.

things done in fanfic that annoys me: Anything that doesn't align with my own headcanons or is too far away from the actual canon.

things I look for in fanfic: Nothing. Because it doesn't exist, so I have already given up.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: No one else.

My happily ever after for them: Idk.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: Idk.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Canon? Music. My headcanons? Fast food.

---

002 | Igor

How I feel about this character: Idk.

All the people I ship romantically with this character & My non-romantic OTP for this character: I honestly don't know if it's romantic or queerplatonic or just platonic, but I only ship him with Richard.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I have none. I don't think there are even popular opinions about this character out there.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I wish to know where does he live. I keep thinking about that caravan inside the abandoned factory, and I keep headcanoning it as Igor's residence but I wish I knew whose place that actually was (the other option is Hans, but yeah, it's never revealed in the film).

my OTP: Richy/Igor lol

my cross over ship: None.

a headcanon fact: He's head over heels for Richard whether that be platonic or not.

---

003 | send me 5 characters and I will rank them in order of preference

You asked about Monty Python characters. I guess it is possible, but just very very difficult because there are not that many reoccuring characters, and the Flying Circus show ran for 4 seasons and there are several films, so the character count could be in hundreds tbh. Often the skits are also more about the joke and topic and less about characters, even when they're often given names. But as I'm writing this, I can feel a potential list cooking inside my head so, here we go!

The Gumbys. My favourite quote comes from these skits: "My brain hurts!" I can't find that as a gif now, but they are these extremely, extremely stupid characters who shout every line of theirs cos they are so dumb. Here's the Brain Specialist skit where that quote is from too :D

2. The Hell's Grannies. This is just the funniest shit ever and I absolutely love the graffiti they paint as a graffiti and which goes: "Make tea, not love." Here's a link to a video on youtube.

3. Anne Elk (Miss). I just keep rewatching this skit over and over again cos it's so stupid, and the characters just interact with each other in such a funny way, and Graham's character's reactions to Anne Elk are so funny :D

4. Pontius Pilate in Life of Brian. Ok this movie is full of extremely funny characters, and I would like to mention a handful of others, such as the deaf and stupid character and his companion who's stuttering the whole time; and also that man in the pit who hadn't talked at all until Brian accidentally jumped on his foot. But I still have to give this place for Michael Palin's Pontius Pilate just for that Biggus Dickus scene cos it's probably the funniest movie scene I have ever seen. Palin often had the funniest characters, and it's even funnier when you know that the extras and other actors didn't know about his lines so if I'm correct, all of those laughters were genuine reactions to Palin's acting, and he also was so close to losing it at one point :D

5. And you know what? I just HAVE TO link here the French Taunting scene from Monty Python & the Holy Grail, just for you XD "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" kills me every time.

+ And you get an extra just because you're French, this skit and their accents in this sometimes live rent free in my head :D

THANK YOU so much for the ask btw! I decided to skip the 001 about FUB cos my answers would have not been much different from the RG one, apart from real people not having a canon, and me not really having any headcanons for them for that same reason. So, it would have not really added anything, or would have been even less than what I now got for the answers for R/I.

Funnily enough, I got way more out of Monty Python. It just shows how I don't get attached to characters really, but live for and from humour, and anything that's funny af to me, I like and makes me happy.

[data-privacy-blog-2ndsem]

Connected to the System

Module 4 has opened my eyes using two videos about social media. First is about ordering a pizza and the second is about Facebook. I find the short film about ordering a Pizza to be a satire about technology and data privacy. In the short film, a man ordered a pizza but the establishment has acquired a lot of sensitive data about the man such as his bank information, health records, and location. The reason being is that the establishment is connected into the system which is the source of the information they are using. However the establishment felt like a stalker. Deciding for the customer what they should be ordering. The man ordered an unhealthy pizza but was suggested a healthier option because the man is suffering from a disease according to his health record. I believe this diminishes the freedom of the man and felt as if his information is freely given away to strangers for their own benefit. Lastly, the man has been reported because he verbally abused the one who received the call because he found her annoying and he got upset because his information is readily available to the pizza house because it is connected to the system. The short film wants to show us in a funny way about the realities of the modern world and how it can be much darker. It answers the question what if your information is freely given to anyone? In such a way, you would naturally feel vulnerable and naked. You feel as if everyone knows about you and information that only you should know about. Your secrets and mysteries are no longer hidden from others. It is that sense of paranoia that makes you uneasy. Especially when doing something bad because you'll know that others will know of what you have done.

The second video talked about the information that Facebook collects. The man showed how he printed so many pages worth of his information that was collected by Facebook. Now they have given statements about how they collect data and how they store it but we do not really explore about it much until we see videos like this. I am not shock to say the least, I am aware of it and I stayed nonchalant about it. The app is such a powerful and marvelous piece of work. Even though you do not have a Facebook account, there is still a version of you inside their servers built using the information taken from other accounts. Now that I think about it, Facebook is like a crowd funded project. To gather as much information as possible. Wherein they fund with data, the new oil of the modern era. Making Facebook a growing oilfield. Rich with resources. Resources that fuel companies. I followed the tips given by the video but I kept using Facebook. Recently, messenger, an app related to Facebook, is using end-to-end encryption on every messages to ensure the security and privacy of messages. I remember that it is a feature before that must be toggled but is now the default for messages. Additionally, syncing chat history is also added and it is annoying. When logging into a new device, a password is required to access the chat history. However, it is helpful in providing better privacy to ensure that the information about the conversations that the user is having is only shared with the right people. However , despite how secure and private Facebook is, I still remember how they shutdown in a few hours because they were attacked with a DDoS by a group of hackers.

[filmsrus]

FILM FORM

CRITICAL REFLECTION

I am so incredibly proud of this film and I’m really appreciative for all the feedback we got.

‘A suggestion may not give an answer but it addresses a question.’

We were complimented on our opening shot - an opening shot is so important in a short film - it must be engaging enough for the viewer to not skip onto the next one, so I was very happy to hear that. Leo also enjoyed the nuance of our film, which was something very important to us as films about gay experiences often follow the same tropes in order to appeal to straight audiences which we wanted to avoid doing - we wanted to tell an authentic story, so I’m glad that Leo saw that.

Zoe, Paul and Leo loved the production design, which I’m glad they recognised as Nikola really did do an amazing job on it. They said that the party felt believable and that the costume was great.

The tone in the first scene however did get lost at times which I think we could fix with a tighter edit to keep up the comedy. 

Our main mistake was not giving Ethan the attention he needed - this is his story and yet he is obscured throughout the film. In the first scene, we put tights over the lens which looked amazing in the wides but it did not work for the shot reverse shot as well as Ethan was on the side of the screen, meaning the focus on him was very soft and the drunk girl instead looked like the main character.

Then in the bus stop scene, we do not see Ethan enough - we should be with him much more to watch his emotional progression. We have a great shot of him crying but the build up to it falls flat. The 2 shot we have is not utilised either, we never pull focus from the stranger to Ethan. We hold on the stranger for too much instead of Ethan.

There are some amazing lines such as ‘Where is the pride parade?’ and ‘What do I do now?’ Which we dont linger on for long enough to let them have the impact intended. We don’t understand enough what Ethan is thinking when he says them - whether he feels guilty or not for example.

There are also issues with blocking, in two scenes in particular. The first is when Ethan walks away from Sean- we don’t tilt up to catch Sean’s reaction. I think we did tilt in the last few takes but decided to not use them. Also, in the scene in which the stranger walks away from Ethan then stops to say something, he ends up awkwardly in the bottom left corner, half of him cut out of the frame.

A suggestion was made for a transition between the 2 scenes which we did have but decided to remove which is interesting. The argument for it was that the two scenes have such different tones that it's a bit jarring, however, even though I really liked the transition, I also like the sudden change of tone.

One of the best bits of feedback we got was on the sound. We did have an issue with the export as the sound was exported in stereo in Protools then ended up in a mono track on davinci, so we need to fix that, but in general, Zoe said that the sound was not cinematic enough. It didn’t have that immersive dynamism. For example, at the bus stop, we are saying that Ethan left the party early and yet there are no sounds of nearby parties or drunk people in the streets even though its meant to be Halloween. That is something that we can easily fix too. 

An annoying mistake we made which we noticed in the edit was that we did not linger on Ethan’s face enough at the very end, we should had stayed with him for much longer and captured his emotion before panning up. It feels as though we did a disservice to Ewan, our actor who played Ethan, as he has such a presence on screen and we did not give him the time he deserved. 

I really loved directing this project and I was so lucky to work with such an incredible crew. I would love to fix the sound and grade to re upload it because I am so proud of this film and I really think that it has potential.

My standard of work has increased so much even from the last semester and I can't wait to take what I learned from this into my next project.

[eponymoussquared]

Escape from the Plot Hole: Part 5

This is where things get..possibly a bit too meta. Except I think I managed to get so meta I looped around to not being meta at all...I don't know, decide for yourself.

Again, please start from the previous one for this to make the most sense.

================================================

His thoughts were disjointed and confused, but a few realizations stood out among the noise. First off, that he was really, actually, in a movie. Which meant that he was either crazy, or he was a fictional character. Neither was particularly appealing. However, being crazy seemed somewhat more likely, although if he was crazy, Jonah wouldn’t be able to find proof of it himself. He was, however, pretty sure he wasn’t fictional. If he was, he’d surely be a lot dumber, and already dead. Lucky for him, he was genre savvy from all the movies he’d seen…

…What movies had he seen? He couldn’t remember any of them by name, come to think of it, or any examples of the tropes that were so ingrained in his mind. Of all the times to have memory problems. His mom would…what would his mom do? Jonah’s thoughts suddenly stopped there. He couldn’t remember anything about his parents. In fact, the more he desperately searched his mind he couldn’t remember anything except the camp, his knowledge of movies, and that he had been there for a few years. Ever since… good god, he didn’t even remember the year! Jonah wracked his brain for something, anything that wasn’t related to the camp, or horror flicks, anything from a favorite color to a bit of random trivia. And yet there was nothing. He couldn't even recall his last name. So why did he remember the camp? Because that's all my character is, he thought. I’m supposed to be dead,maybe make some silly quip about how stuff like this only happens in films. Everything I am is just this, because according to whoever’s making the movie, that's all I am. Just collateral damage.

Jonah's thoughts spiraled deeper and darker. He realized he’d been shaking, and pinched himself—not to wake up, this time, but to focus. The pain helped ground him in the now, pulling him from the dread that he was slowly gaining awareness of. Think, Jonah. He encouraged himself. If your entire identity is being well-versed in horror, you must know a way to survive. How do you live through a horror movie? The first answer that came to mind was ‘you don’t.’ Not helpful, brain. The next was “be the protagonist.” He was pretty sure he wasn’t the main character. If he had to guess, that brown-haired girl he’d met earlier was. Of course, even if he was, that hardly guaranteed his survival. In fact, the only real way to survive a horror movie he could think of was to not be in it.

…Actually, that wasn’t a bad idea. Normally in stories like these, cars broke down, it was raining, or there was some reason for everyone to stay at the dangerous place. Yet, if he was just an extra, the story wouldn’t really care if he was gone, would it? Heck, he was supposed to be dead. Disappearing would work just as well. Of course, that meant leaving. He could wait till day, but for all he knew it would just never come. He would have to get to his car.The question was, how? Well, maybe he could just walk there. After all, the story considered him already dead, so…

Jonah paused. Did it? He was a fictional character who was supposed to be dead that had apparently gained self-awareness. He had no idea how any of this worked. In fact, maybe it would try to murder him to fix the story at the first opportunity. Heck, the killer seemed annoyed he wasn’t dead. So how would he manage to stop that? He didn’t have any talents. He didn’t have anything except knowledge of horror that would only be useful to the most die-hard nerds.

…Then again, maybe that left him some wiggle room. He didn’t seem to have a past. It hadn’t been written. So maybe he did have those skills. Maybe he had the exact set of talents he needed to get out of the situation. Maybe he had trained his whole life for this moment.

[legends-of-apex]

‘Only If For A Night’ Ch.1 | Tangerine x Reader

{Click here for series masterlist}

rating: M for canon-typical violence, threat and profanity

word count: 2012

summary: There is a price on your head. Lemon and Tangerine are hired to protect you from those aiming to claim it. There's tension between you and Tangerine right away and he's not quite sure what to make of you. Prequel to Bullet Train (2022)- no spoilers for the film. The reader isn't referred to as being any specific gender

‘Something about this doesn’t feel right,’ Lemon grumbled.

Tangerine sighed, rolling his eyes with impatience. ‘I know, Lemon.’

‘So why are we still taking this gig? Things are so much easier when we’re just pulling a trigger-‘

‘Because he’s already paid us half, Lemon!’ Tangerine interrupted, ‘What about our fucking reputation then? We’re professionals, Lemon. Reputation is everything in our line of work and I intend to keep ours intact.’

The repetition of his name annoyed Lemon to no end. It sounded like Tangerine was scolding a child. He had barely muttered a fine in response when Tangerine raised a ring-clad finger in the direction of someone crossing the street. The rental car’s windows had finally unfogged enough for them to see the details on the other side of the glass. Lemon glanced at the picture of their target on his phone then back at you as you sidestepped a particularly mucky puddle.

‘Is that definitely the target?’ Tangerine asked, excited at the prospect of not having to wait around any longer.

But Lemon was already getting out of the car before answering the question. He hadn’t even bothered to take the keys out of the ignition so Tangerine rolled his eyes and reached over to do it himself. The last thing they needed was their car getting stolen on a job.

You reached the cafe’s hulking glass entrance. It looked tall enough for a giant to fit through. No wonder the staff kept the door open all the time, it must have been to ward off cobwebs in impossible-to-reach corners of the doorway.

The cafe was heavily gentrified with Einstein light bulbs dangling against a dark wood backdrop and a glaringly overpriced menu pasted along the walls. But the staff were nice every time you’d been in.

It was the only place you’d allowed yourself to frequent since they put a price on your head.

Tangerine noted the way you looked from side to side a couple of times.

Left then right. You were scanning the passing crowd. Left then right.

People on the run tended to have a sixth sense for when they were being watched and he was absolutely not in the mood to chase someone today. Not in this humidity, not ever. So he pulled out his lighter and stood to the side of the car, trying to look like he was casually smoking a cigarette and getting some air after a drive as anyone would in this weather.

He and Lemon stuck out like a sore thumb, of course. But thankfully you didn’t even glance in their direction.

‘Don’t engage until I say so. Can’t have you scaring them off with you jabbering.’ He blew a puff of smoke out the corner of his mouth.

‘I do not jabber! I’m a very concise talker.’

If the past few days were anything to go by, that was definitely not true. If Tangerine had to so much as hear another whisper of one of Lemon’s cartoon trains in conversation then his brain would start leaking from his ears.

The moment he saw you sit down through the cafe’s window he flicked his cigarette onto the ground and stubbed it out with his shoe. There was no time to waste.

Lemon frowned. ‘Pick that up.’

‘No.’

‘The planet is dying and you’re littering the ground with your rubbish!’ He maintained, ‘If anything it’s just a waste of a cig!’

Tangerine didn't offer a reply.

The café was a little quieter than when you’d last been in. Customers were sparse and the staff dawdled and chatted between themselves. One of them offered you a warm smile of recognition. Her eyes lit up and her pink-painted lips stretched into a wide smile as she greeted you. The music in the cafe wasn't too loud today, just loud enough to make its presence known.

Taking a seat at the same place you always did, you looked out the window to the street and passersby. The street was packed full of cars parked on either side jutting out like black piano keys but the road itself was quiet. Every half a minute or so a car drove past and the pleasant sound of rainwater splashing against the wheels filled your ears.

The few people that also sat in the café didn't seem worth any worries you might have. There was a man with a heavily receded hairline and thick-lensed glasses on the end of his nose reading a newspaper as he sipped his drink. Two women sat talking quietly amongst themselves at the other end, excitedly showing each other photos of their pets as they shared a blueberry muffin.

You should have been analysing these people, seeing if they were potential threats to you. Anyone could have been right now, even the baristas. But your soul had grown heavy and tired. All this running and hiding and looking over your shoulder was exhausting. You’d barely slept, barely ate. So just for a moment, you decided to let yourself breathe. You closed your eyes and listened to the soft murmur of the song in the background, of the water occasionally splashing on the road.

The sound of a man clearing his throat interrupted your thoughts.

‘Mind if we join you?’

Your eyes snapped open and you immediately met the gaze of two men standing at your table. The taller of the two with white-tipped and tightly coiled hair smiled at you broadly, with almost perfectly white teeth. The man at his side looked between you and the customer reading the newspaper a few tables down like he was trying to assess something about him. He had his hair slicked back so faultlessly that you were surprised to see the ends fighting to snap back into their natural curl when he turned his head.

You tried not to panic. At the very least you tried not to let the two men know you were panicking, that you knew they were probably the harbingers of your death. The shorter of the two held out his hand the moment you took a particularly sharp breath as if to reassure you.

‘Don’t worry. We’re not here to hurt you.’ He spoke quietly.

You found that incredibly hard to believe.

They outwardly greeted you like old friends, false familiarity etched across their faces. To anyone else, they must've looked normal because no one even looked at them strangely. But to you, they dressed like assassins. Or maybe people who worked in especially high-end finance. These two men looked dangerous. Not in the way that they would hurt you or mean anyone any harm on the day-to-day. They might have even been good people if you could ignore the part about being contract killers. But even so, they looked like they’d do anything for the right price and that made them dangerous to you with the price on your head. Two weeks ago you wouldn’t have had a clue about any of that but oh, how quickly sensibilities change.

‘Mind if we sit down?’ The taller man asked again.

They each took a seat opposite you without you answering, too frozen to even nod or shake your head. Some small part of you thought it was oddly polite that they at least waited a moment before taking a seat regardless.

‘Excuse me?’ the taller man asked the barista as she set your drink down in front of you, ‘Could I get a latte, please? With three sugars and a pump of caramel if you don’t mind.’ He smiled broadly at her, politely even.

‘Of course!’ she scribbled something very hastily in her notebook with a pen whose end was chewed into oblivion, ‘Can I get you anything?’ she asked the other man.

‘No, thank you.’ he replied, ‘But can you put his latte in a to-go cup, please? We won't be staying long.’

You didn’t get to soak in their unusual politeness for trained killers, you were too busy looking for a way out of this. As tired of running as you were, you weren’t ready to die just yet.

As the barista walked off you eyed the door and Tangerine noticed. ‘Listen, we know you’re on the run from some very bad people and-‘

‘What?’ You interrupted him, ‘You’re going to try and convince me that you’re not one of those very bad people?’

He was taken aback by your attitude if only for a moment. But his painfully blue eyes almost burned you as he watched you sip your drink.

‘Nah. But we were hired to protect you.’ Lemon answered for him.

You made a face that Tangerine thought was oddly cute. It was the kind of face you might pull if someone just told you the sky was actually green instead of blue. Despite your confusion at Lemon's statement you didn’t seem too disturbed by his admission that they were in fact very bad people. You were right of course but it struck a nerve within Tangerine that he didn’t like. Lemon couldn’t have cared less.

‘By who?’ You questioned, eyes narrowed.

‘No idea. He never gave a name, never saw his face. But he hired us to get you out here and bring you somewhere he thinks you’ll be safe.’

‘Why should I believe you?’

‘Cause if we wanted you dead, we’d have killed you like fifteen minutes ago.’ The taller one replied.

You liked him, you decided. He was straight to the point but in an endearing, aloof way. Unlike his partner with the crease between his brows and a voice like he contemplated every word he spoke. He was calm but too calm to the point where you knew that was just a front.

‘What happens if I try to run?’ You asked, receiving a groan from them almost in unison.

The shorter man cleared his throat and adjusted his cufflinks before leaning forward so he could speak to you softly. He noted how the baristas eyed your table with suspicion. They seemed fond of you, he thought, and he didn't want to cause a scene.

‘Well, we certainly won’t try to stop you. But the way I see it? You can leave the city with Lemon and me or you’ll probably end up leaving in a body bag. Because if we’ve found you? It won’t be long until the people who actually want to hurt you will too.’

You sat for a moment, weighing up your options. Neither were ideal. You could run and go back to the way things had been for the past few weeks - All this running and hiding. Or you could go with these two complete strangers who promised to protect you and risk what little safety you had built for yourself. But what good is safety if it’s fleeting? Their employer, whoever he was, might be able to offer a more permanent solution to your problem even if he has an ulterior motive too.

As you were mulling things over, a sudden realisation dawned on you. ‘Wait, I’m sorry. Your name is Lemon?’

‘Yep! I’m Lemon, that’s Tangerine. They’re our operational names.’ He held out a hand for to you shake as the barista brought him his latte, ‘Nice to meet you!’

Well, there goes their cover for being your old friends.

‘We don't have time for this,’ Tangerine griped. ‘Are you coming with us or not?’

You liked making this man irritated, you decided. It was a good look on him. You liked the way he thumbed one of the thick golden rings on his fingers and his face set into a hard line. Lemon seemed taken aback by Tangerine’s impoliteness but didn’t comment on it.

‘Half the city’s underground wants you dead,' He continued, 'Every gang in competition with Hollow Eye that’s worth their weight in coke is probably tearing up the floorboards of everything even remotely resembling a safe house looking for you right now. So if you’re coming then we need to go.’

So against your better judgment, you took their word for it.

tagging: @icy-spicy @simpingforclaudette (if you’d like to be added to the tag list for this fic then please feel free to send an ask/message/comment <3)