#it might be high middle for jow

[cinnabeat]

im starting to think tondemo wonderz is way too fucking high

[inlumenhq]

Valencia Crabbe, 26, Beauxbatons alum, Savannah Lee Smith fc, TAKEN.

Birthday: November 15th Gender & Pronouns: Cis-female, she/her Occupation: Socialite Sided with: the DE’s - unmarked

personality

Positive Traits: Charming, ambitious, well-bred Negative Traits: Jealous, manipulative, cruel

past

The Yaxley parents never had high hopes for their children, apart from marrying them off to push the family into better financial standing. Valencia’s betrothal to Lucius Malfoy was decided upon before they were halfway through school. They were deemed a suitable match, with the Malfoys relieved to have a reputable family and the Yaxleys overjoyed to have found a family that would push them out of the middle class.

The situation was ideal in Valencia’s mind until Narcissa ruined everything. Valencia lost plans of a wedding and luxurious lifestyle to rumors that Lucius and Narcissa were seeing each other. Worse yet, there was evidence of the two caught in a tender embrace. It was enough to make Valencia see red, undermined by someone they would have considered a friend. The Malfoys pulled out of their end of the betrothal, leaving the Yaxleys scrambling to find a new spouse for Valencia. The scorned spouse-to-be wasn’t allowed to share their concerns and was left frustrated at not having a say in their life.

present

Valencia feels trapped, and there is nothing they can do about it. Narcissa is living the life they wanted and their jealousy is unshakable. Valencia is constantly bitter about it, determined to reveal the scheming that Narcissa did to get Lucius. It might not change things for their current hand at life, but it will bring Narcissa down a peg or two.

connections

Vincent Crabbe - Valencia had no interest in them whatsoever. The Crabbes were the only family that considered Valencia a suitable spouse for their heir, with the Yaxleys eager to rush into a wedding before the Crabbes got cold feet. Valencia is unhappy and had hoped a child with Vincent would be enough to improve their current situation. Vincent Jr. only added to Valencia's depressing feeling when thinking about family.

Narcissa Malfoy - Narcissa has the life that Valencia was supposed to have, married to Lucius Malfoy when Valencia should have been their spouse. Valencia is incredibly bitter and does not like Narcissa in the slightest.

Lucius Malfoy - Lucius was supposed to be their doting spouse before Narcissa tricked them into a compromising position. Valencia doesn’t blame them and is determined to reveal the truth to the world. Maybe then that will mean winning Lucius back. 

Bios and posts that reference Valencia Crabbe can be found by clicking this sentence.

suggested fc’s

Natasha Liu Bordizzo, Malese Jow, Kaitlyn Leeb

[clematys]

ok i’m nearly seeing double because i’m really tired and my eyes are mostly closed but i just wanted to write out some emotion stuff

cw: rape mention (it will be at the end of the post)

first off to keep blabbering on about my tarot cards. i just wanna cry cause like they are like my babies. like, i made those little things, i put energy in them and all that. but i just left them sitting on a shelf. for the majority of at least two years. fuck i can’t even remember when i made them. damn it. i feel so bad but like i’m sure other people (especially those who aren’t involved in witchcraft) feel like it’s silly and makes no sense but i just feel like i’m disappointing and neglecting my cards, like i can feel it ya know. 

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uuugh i probably should shut up about my memory crap but i never learn. its just that the gaps in my memory bothers me, i know a lot of it is just suffering through high school but i don’t even know how i acted then or anything. what if i did bad things or was really mean or did a bunch of embarrassing things and i might never know. and it still just haunts me that i don’t know exactly what caused my dissociative amnesia, like i know i’ve been blaming it on jane and fef (even before i fully came back from it. i found files on my computer i can’t remember making that talk about them and stuff) but now i have a little feeling in the back of my mind that maybe they really weren’t that bad and i’m overreacting and blaming them for something that isn’t entirely their fault (and may not even be their fault at all)

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on a different note i’m putting here since i’m putting the bad stuff last that way if people want to read this but don’t want to read about that they won’t have to. but onto the topic. i honestly want this break to be over soon. i mean i’m glad to have to schoolwork or any major responsibilities but i kinda hate being at home. i feel bad tho cause like with my mom, at her house i almost always end up feeling awful and depressed for no apparent reason and i know it isn’t her fault and feel bad for not visiting because of that. but recently she moved in with my papaw (his house is right next door to hers) so now things are kinda worse cause everything is messed up and the routine is different and my aunts are almost always there with their little kids and its just so awful but i’m not allowed to go hide in my room, or at least not long enough for me to actually calm down and feel better. 

and with my dad’s house, its not the house that’s the problem, it’s my dad and stepmom. they stress me out so much. my dad still won’t let me cut my hair how i want to and he hasn’t learned that his jokes hurt and he keeps ranting about shit on the news like the stuff about the sexual assault/harassment claims and i just want to yell and tell him to shut up and tell him how i feel but i can’t. i’m gonna end this here because i ended up punching my keyboard while trying to continue this. 

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ok the stuff the content warning was about is below

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ok this may seem unrelated but trust me there is a connection in my mind. but uh i’ve recently had two dreams about rape. i don’t want to call them nightmares because to me nightmares are dreams that cause you to be afraid and terrified, and have the capability to make someone wake up from a deep sleep. i don’t categorize the specific dreams i have as nightmares, they are unsettling. they make me feel strong emotions, and usually have dark subjects (like one of my most memorable ones involved my brother trying to kill me) but the don’t make me feel afraid like a nightmare would and they don’t cause me to wake up in the middle of the night. and these dreams also tend to be more realistic than my typical dreams so they stand out in my mind even more. 

anyways about the most recent ones, in the first one (which i had around wednesday or thursday) involved me being forced to watch two girls be raped by one guy but his friends were also there. apparently in that dream the guys all thought i was a cis guy and were trying to get me to pull my dick out. i also remember one part of the dream the main guy talked about how he apparently made me give him a blow jow in the past. idk this one was more confusing tbh but still unsettling.

as for the other one, i had it last night. it was more realistic but it involved me being raped and i clearly remember dissociating until this other girl yelled at me cause she was tied to a door while i wasn’t tied up (which she was really mad about even though she was only tied up and nothing else happened to her) so i helped untie her but instead of going through the door she was tied to (which would have made more sense) we had to go through a maze like situation and we eventually make it outside and i recognized the area as the area around the dorm building closest to mine on campus. the dream ended there but i’m just uuugh i’m probably reading into to much but like what if something like that happens? i usually never dream of the same topic twice, especially not so close together either. i know its dumb but i am just. Anxiety.