#it is a stressful time to live in the U.S right now jfc

[tallstars-rewrite]

Helloooo long time no see, how’s everyone else’s year been??

 Ok so everything is a dumpster fire right now but...! nvm that’s the end of that sentence.

Anyway,

I know I said this blog would go into long bouts of silence, but I suppose this has been an especially long one. Long story short, I hit a MAJOR burn-out with this project. But I did finish it! This is the farthest I’ve ever got on anything, so that’s goal #1 complete? I finished the first draft at the end of June, like I planned to, But I was seriously dragging myself along more and more towards the second half, and by the time I finished the last page I was so sick of looking at this story I couldn’t bear to go back to it for a long time. I thought I would only take a month off after finishing the first draft so I could return with fresh eyes and hopefully let the burn-out wear off, and have it edited and posting by fall, but it ended up taking longer than that and I couldn’t even get myself to open the folder again until the end of October (quarantine depression most definitely had a factor in my creative drive being so thoroughly beaten with a wrench).

So, after some thinking and writing a whole lot of words, I’m having a slightly different idea of what this is going to look like. With a bit of preface first.

My initial goal was to essentially write a complete book, beginning to end. And I did do that! It’s 154k words long. (shorter than I projected thankfully but still. Longer then the longest canon super edition) And Honestly…. I really do not like big chunks of it.

 At the end of the day, since this is a rewrite and not a fully original fanfic, a lot of what I wrote will be repeated info that readers already knows, just told a bit different. I don’t really care, because that’s sort of just what a rewrite is most of the time, but still. I wrote out every detail, and I had fun a lot of the time but there are also a lot of times when I had to force myself through a section that was necessary for a complete “book”, but not super fun for me to write. There’s multiple action scenes and training scenes (let me tell you, I absolutely LOATHE action scenes oh my god I never realized until this just how much I hate writing them!! It feels like going through boring motions to get to the stuff I actually care about, I just want to write conversations and sometimes scenery description! Action sucks!) and I can’t exactly cut this stuff, nor do I think they are bad scenes in concept, they just apparently aren’t where my expertise is. If I don’t enjoy what I'm writing, I think that is going to show and it will end up boring to read too.

When I had the idea to rewrite this, there was a big handful of specific scenes I wanted to make, and most of those scenes turned out well and I like them. I think they alone get across “this is what I wanted changed in this book.” I probably could have left it there, and summarized the smaller changes in between.

Anyway all that is to say… I will still start publishing the stuff that I wrote (frankly i’ve put too much time into this to not do it), and I really really want to start before the end of the year but we will have to see. I’m still editing right now, so I’m not 100% sure what the final product will look like, but I have a feeling what's going to happen is good chunks of it will be written out fully in prose and dialogue and all that junk, and other chunks of it will not.

The parts I can’t edit to my liking might just be summarized instead. So we may end up switching back and fourth between summarizing and normal writing. Will that be weird? Shrug! Probably, but the alternative is I will spend another 2 years agonizing over trying to fix everything and no one wants that, especially not me. I want this to be DONE now, before I hit a 3rd burn-out in the middle. I think 3+ years is MORE THEN LONG ENOUGH to be focusing on a war-cats rewrite. God willing that this was my last super long hiatus

all of you still looking at this blog after my bouts of inactivity, thanks for bearing with me! I’ll try to post more updates as I near final completion and I should have some art coming y’alls way soon

[amorremanet]

4, 31, 44

asks for fanfic writers.

Well, I did number 4 over here, and number 31 over here, but!

44. do you write linear or do you write future scenes if you feel like it?

I prefer to write linearly, but it often doesn’t get to work out that way. I also outline things a lot, but not always linearly either, and I do a lot of early draft scenes before I even know where it’s going to fit into things because I have an idea and want to get it down right away quick.

Like, one example of this happening lately was a direct result of me trying to come up with a superhero team name that hasn’t been used already and getting so frustrated that I just went, “Okay, screw it, I’m not looking at this anymore tonight or I’ll just give up and name them The Fighting Mongooses — which isn’t even my joke to use, it’s an old Futurama joke.”

The scene idea that grew out of that is basically my three main mutant weirdos — Seb, Lucy, and Josie — trying to figure out a team name. It is pretty much entirely Lucy’s idea because all three of them are sorta vaguely related to the FBI’s department of mutant affairs, but Seb and Lucy are recently awakened mutants who are sort of on a trial run and not planning to stay with the FBI in an official capacity,

and Josie is stuck filling a few different roles for S.T.R.O.M.A (primarily that of media liaison and de facto team therapist) as a result of how they got recruited in the first place (which involved them accidentally getting on the wrong side of what they were allowed to do with the, “I’m a mutant but I really just want to live my life and not be a bother to anyone, superheroic shit sounds really stressful, let’s not” license, and getting caught, and being handed an offer that basically went, “Hey, come be on our team on a consultancy basis and we’ll make the censures all go away”)

—but none of them really likes working with S.T.R.O.M.A, for several reasons, and Lucy, bless her heart, thinks they should have a team and work together to be heroes.

This is a Thing that some super-powered people do, and teams are registered and licensed like mutants are in general — which isn’t actually sinister so much as tedious, like?

It’s a fair point that, when we’re talking about people who can breathe fire and shoot fricking laser beams out of their eyes and whatnot, then that is not really the same thing as the government trying to make people register on the basis of their race/ethnicity, religion, sexuality, etc. Like, yes, a lot of the rhetoric that can be pulled out in justification of this can be Bad, but we are talking about people who can exhale toxic gases, mind-control people, shoot freaking eye lasers, walk through walls, etc.

That’s all stuff that has legitimate, immediate potential to harm people, and a potential way to compromise — trying to keep everyone safer without infringing unfairly on the rights and civil liberties of mutants — is to treat it like getting a driver’s license. Like, acknowledge that most people didn’t ask for mutant superpowers and it’s not something that they can help (but it’s also a little more complicated than, “you have the mutant X gene so it’s mutant superpowers fun-time, whee”), don’t blame them (especially in the cases where really young kids have freak accidents with powers that no one suspected they had, and especially because there’s a tendency for that to happen in situations with kids who are being bullied or abused)

—but also acknowledge that these powers do have the potential to do a lot of harm, both to the people who have them and to others, and try to do whatever possible to make sure that resources are provided for mutants so that they can learn to control their powers and have the licensing laws in place to make sure that they get said resources. (This is obviously VERY ideal and it doesn’t usually work out so neatly because we’re talking about the U.S. government trying to do things, and there are so many factors — money,  institutionalized isms, public opinion, grassroots campaigns on all sides, fuckery in Congress or the different state and local legislatures, list goes on — that make this go other than as planned on paper. But in an ideal world, this is how it would play out.)

So, in this world, getting a mutant license can be done at the DMV or the local Secretary of State’s office (if you live in some place like Michigan where we’re a bunch of hipster fucks who refuse to just have a DMV), and there are some tests to go through, to prove that you’re not going to lose control of your powers in potentially lethal ways and make sure you know certain legal rules (e.g., “hey, we get it that you did not ask to have mind control powers, but using them to make someone have sex with you? That’s rape. Don’t do that, rape is wrong and you’ll go to prison”).

There are more tests to go through if you want to get the superhero license, but it’s still more comparable to getting a license to drive a motorcycle or a school bus than any of the other metaphors for registration that we’ve seen in different X-Men stories.

Some teams are even Big Deals and have corporate sponsorship and everything. Their members are basically celebrities (at least, the ones who are Big Deals on the level of Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Captain America, Iron Man, Ozymandias, or the old school Minutemen from Watchmen), and whether or not any of them are actually good at being superheroes anymore is a matter of some debate.

But in fairness, the smaller deal heroes affiliated with these teams are usually still doing the work, even if tools like Doctor Delphi pretty much have a few token acts of heroism, show up to NYC Pride every year, shoot commercials, and compulsively document their lives on Instagram, without doing any work that makes a meaningful difference at all.

Also, superhero comics and their related adaptations are still A Thing.

Like, I see where Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons were coming from by replacing the superhero comics with pirate comics — but I could also see people keeping superhero comics around even with irl mutant superheroes. You’d probably also see ex-heroes making memoir-style graphic novels, and not-that-thinly veiled versions of irl heroes showing up in the Batman or Hulk comics.

S.T.R.O.M.A has an entire sub-team whose primary job is going over comics, movies, YA lit, and all the rest to make sure that no one’s using, “lol fiction” to spill information that has a security clearance attached. They have a picture of Stan Lee on a dartboard because the sheer number of times they’ve had to investigate him is ridiculous. Their counterparts at MI6 have three filing cabinets just for JKR.

But Lucy is a really pumped up about this team idea, so she’s trying to get Seb (who is less than entirely jazzed about this concept but refuses to just let Lucy go do the thing on her own) and Josie (who has mixed feelings about the whole thing but is curious enough to come along for the ride) to help her come up with team names. Mostly, this involves the two of them shooting her ideas down as such:

Lucy: *suggests a name*

Seb: Marvel already has one of those.

Josie: Also, there are two real-life teams registered with that name and I think four different individual vigilantes.

Lucy: *suggests a different name*

Seb: DC got there first.

Josie: There aren’t any real world teams with that name, but it has been one of the most popular names independent vigilante names for five years running.

Lucy: *suggests, “The Crusaders”*

Seb: Ehhh, do we really want to invoke the Crusades? I mean, okay, the word sounds cool, but the Crusades were military campaigns of unlawful conquest and Islamophobic genocide. Ffs, did Sister Mary Ignatius stop teaching that in her history classes after I got forced out of St. Andrew’s or what?

Lucy: You actually paid attention in Sister Mary Ignatius’s history classes? Like, enough to remember them?

Seb: You didn’t?

Lucy: I had better things to do than give that old bat more than the bare minimum, Bastian. Like, y’know, extracurricular community college science classes because the science curriculum at St. Andrew’s was bullshit—

Josie: Let’s stay on topic. So, there’s already a fictional group that’s called the Crusaders, plus two real world teams, six indie vigilantes who call themselves. ‘the Crusader,’ and it’s also regularly found in weird compound names. I wish that I could bleach all memories of Captain Dick-Cheese Crusader from my mind, but alas, it doesn’t work that way.

And so on and so forth. Until they finally hit the point of Lucy going, “FINE. If you don’t like any of MY ideas, one of YOU suggest some already. jfc, you’re older than I am, why do I have to tell you both to be more proactive”

So, Seb suggests, “The Apostates” because it is the first word that comes to his mind aaaand…

Josie: While I am pleased to heard Seb suggest something first, there’s already a team registered by that name. They’re a bunch of alumni or former affiliates of Lehrer and Woodham who had various kinds of falling outs with the good Doctors, or had Yael and Elizabeth kick them off one of The Wardens or one of their other teams for some reason. Most of them are actually lovely people, but the one who calls himself Bocca Lupo is the woooooorst.

Seb: …Personal experience?

Josie: His civvies name is Danny Walker. He used to be a fashion photographer before he discovered his powers. He was my freshman year roommate at Pratt. We dated for a while in senior year—

Lucy: And he dumped you so now you’re bitter and being a pain in the ass about Seb’s suggestion because you’re still mad at him?

Josie: Oh, no. I dumped him. He wouldn’t stop acting like eating disorders are a joke after I told him that I have one to try and make him stop being like that to one of our classmates.

And then there was a bunch of backstory-expounding from Josie that tbh, isn’t going to end up in the full draft of this scene, ever, since it really needs to be spaced out more and woven into things a bit more naturally — but the endgame for the moment is still that any team names related to, “apostate” or, “apostasy” are vetoed in full because wow holy shit, Josie’s ex is a douchebag and that he’s one of the major players in the Brooklyn-based Apostates is really Not A Cool Thing

And I have no idea where this is going to fit into the story or when but

It’s a scene that I like and drafted out in my borderline-illegible longhand so I wouldn’t forget the idea

I forget how I wanted to wrap this post up, so

Uh…… *jazz hands*? yaaaaaay?