#it happened last time i picked a podcast topic too and i didn't express myself with any cohesion then either

[dearmrsawyer]

im just gonna say HERE what i wanted to say in afternoon tea because i was thinking about it all week

i picked the topic for today (LGBTQ+ books) and my pick was This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel, which i only read fairly recently, and i loved. Its about a family - this woman called Rosie has a sister Poppy who dies when she's young, and when she grows up she wants to have a daughter so she can name her after her sister. She and her husband try all the old wives tales methods of conceiving girls but of course they end up with 5 boys. But at around five their youngest son Claude starts to see himself as the princess from the stories their dad tells them at night, and he starts wanting to be a princess when he grows up, and wearing dresses. Soon he says he wants to start going by Poppy. And the whole book is about this family navigating how best to make sure Poppy feels loved but is also safe once they've accepted that Poppy must be trusted with how she feels. I loved how it was a constant journey of having to understand Poppy and then make decisions that would do the least harm to her in the long term. Like at first she continues to go to school as Claude, but when one of Poppy's friends finds out and tells their parent, the parent threatens Poppy, so the family relocates. At the new school they're given the choice of enrolling Poppy either as Claude or Poppy, and this time its Claude that becomes the secret. But its a never ending road of decisions that both Poppy and her parents have to participate in, and i loved it because its a situation that i have no experience with, and i imagine must be very difficult as a parent! To love your child but not know what the right thing to do is. Rosie and her husband often disagreed about which decisions would be best for Poppy, but in the end would usually hand the decision over to Poppy and try to just manage it as best they could. It was really sweet and emotional and thoughtful, and always came back to the family home where Poppy was fully safe and there was no tension around what impact outside forces may have on Poppy's sense of self and security. Wish i could have said that to everybody!!