#it feels even more personal now. i used to be paranoid that i wouldn't bee good at adopting the jewish family as *mine*
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I am absolutely begging people to stop treating nazism as their big, bad blorbo caricature they can just invoke when they're mildly irritated about people who (they think) have Bad Opinions.
Nazism is not just "any time a Bad Guy does Bad Things." Nazism is not your final jojo stand you can invoke to win discussions or debates. It is a real life ideology that is intrinsically linked to the radical antisemitism it espouses and ignoring that is fundamentally harmful to the point of being radically antisemetic.
Since this is on-topic, I've been reading People Love Dead Jews (I am on chapter two), and I think downplaying nazism is absolutely part of de-emphasizing and reprioritizing antisemitism to make it about everything else but the antisemitism. When nazism is everything, then it can't be fundamentally antisemetic. You won't have to acknowledge that jews are the primary target of nazis and nazism if nazis are everything else. It's not a coincidence, especially seeing how many jews people call nazis. This is part of the dead jew that people love - if your eye is turned away from the fact that jews both exist still and are affected by violence and oppression, you get to say, "the jew is dead!".
Regardless, you will never live in a world without us**
עם ישראל חי
#jumblr#jewish politics#antisemitism tw#personal thoughts tag#i wrote this post after waking up and seeing someone do exactly this (invoking n-zism like it's their jojo stand)#and i drafted it because i don't know if this post will even be helpful#and then i saw MULTIPLE more people do it like twelve hours later so i guess i am going to post this#stop making n-zism your blorbo. it's absolutely not required to do that to make a point#also that book is gutting me. it's been really hard to get through things like that (what dara horn talks about)#especially about anne frank. i can barely unpack all my feelings about it. she (and all jews) just feel like family. *my* family#it feels even more personal now. i used to be paranoid that i wouldn't bee good at adopting the jewish family as *mine*#but the opposite is true. these are *my* people - as close to me as family. and jewish history didn't just 'happen to /them/'
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Not you and Bee updating your fics the same day when just yesterday I was going through both fics again because I missed them dearly. You people are gonna kill me, the adrenaline that shot through me hit so hard when I saw The Answer and Wonderwall had updated that I almost spooked myself and fell from my bed.
Anyways HELLO! Good to see you again <3
Hope you're having a good 2024 so far.
Here we go on another one of my unnecessarily long ass comments about the fic, sure hope I haven't overstayed my welcome with them just yet lmao (let me know if I do end up overdoing it at some point please, I will gladly tone it down if it becomes a problem).
FIRST OF ALL: I THINK I'M GOING INSANE.
Maybe its the hj brainrot that I've been stuck on for the last few months, maybe it's the fact that the ateez hyperfixation is hitting harder than usual since the comeback but him throwing a tantrum yelling "you will not take her from me"? Butterflies. Got me giggling and kicking my feet. I was rolling around on my bed as I read that.
Maybe it's the absence making the heart grow fonder and all that.
That being said, my misplaced fondness for this clown did die down once he hit us with the whole "she should be begging me for her life", if the cult thing wasn't enough of an ick I guess that did the job. Like, sir you had me for a sec there with the possessiveness (*tucks my hair like debbie ryan*) why did you have to remind me of your actual personality?
But yeah, catch me slowly being dragged down against my will to join the TheAnswer!HJ simps, though I guess that's what's gonna happen to mc soon enough too, I really am along for the ride with her. Me and mc peering down the edge into the abyss where they lay, the abyss stares right back at us. Damn. People are right, we are not immune to cult propaganda. Tragic.
I really wanted to point out that this chapter had me extra paranoid than the last one tbh, you mentioned in the notes that this was shorter and that you felt like it was lackluster, but I seriously didn't feel it at all because of how on edge I was at times, not as much as let's say during her escape attempt in the corn field sure, but I was still wary and uneasy while reading. I know we had the whole circus with the Guardian thing last time, but san being so urgent in his claims that they have to leave and us getting to hear about how pissed off hj got because of mc's "unsatisfying" reaction to his little scheme? I am dead serious when I tell you I was bracing for the absolute worst, got me shaking in my little tinfoil hat.
The part about the machine harvesting the field? With mc saying she wouldn't want to be caught in it? (ALSO I SEE THAT SHORT YEOSANG MOMENT, I SEE YOU LEAVING A TRAIL OF BREAD CRUMBS FOR HIM 👁👁 <- EYES THAT SEE)
My 2 braincells immediately went "oh em gee, foreshadowing?", like I am certain to my core that someone's gonna fucking die to that or be horrifically injured, its just a matter of: whom? 🤨 I'm gonna save my guess as to who it could be in case that does happen, but I will come back here to yell on another ask about it if that comes up in the future.
Then the scene with hj and hwa talking to mc about her questions, and she hits them with the "oh what can I do if I'm alone?" and hwa is desperately trying to get her to stfu (me too man, me too) while hj smiles at her. You know, like a cryptic weirdo.
Now, I am more than willing to say that what came to mind for me in that moment was probably due to my very *rational* fear of TheAnswer!HJ, but ignore the fact that I am losing myself to his mind games and hear me out for a bit: I kid you not, for a second, I legit thought that he may suggest to or even outright attempt to like "mark" mc with the Sign.
In what way? I don't fucking know but there are many options and he is twisted enough to think of that, we all know it and the sirens were blaring in my head about that when he said the Sign would protect her as long as she had it in her, like "mc girl, I dread to say this but I feel like we should trust mr lapdog on this one, I fear you may be poking the modern day moses a bit too much and we all know he is having a diva moment today", because for hwa to be so concerned over it while hj reacts somewhat positively? Yeah, something wicked this way comes. And on that note, it seemed to me that hwa wasn't just trying to get her to steer from upsetting hj, he seems like he was trying to keep the peace between them in more ways than just that (more on that in a separate ask cause I feel like this is getting too long and its probably a pain for people to scroll past it LMAO I'M SO SORRY).
You clarified for me last time that mc will find out eventually about what happened to her bff (thank you by the way <33) and given how much it was brought up this chapter, I do think he is gonna wait out a while to use the haseul card (haseul girl you will always be remembered as the ride or die friend that you were, more on the die side but it's not your fault girlie, we love you), because while he is clearly prone to emotional outbursts, he is also smart as hell and just as cruel, we are yet to see him mess up big time just out of losing his cool (or maybe the consequences just haven't quite caught up to him just yet but I'd argue he is still ahead in that case), so I imagine that the threat of doing it is very much real but he will play it right for his own advantage.
The man is a diva but he is a cunning one, he more so seems to bring it up because he knows that the idea of devastating mc in that way is a threat in and of itself to everyone else that is also vying for her attention, which is 100/10 writing, author you are amazing (if the way that the fic is eating away at my brain wasn't clear indication of that).
I am also once again proud of our mc for *once again* poking holes in his little bible lore, yes bestie you are correct, wtf does it mean for a Guardian to kidnap someone? A question that I personally had when I read his explanation is: if the Guardians can kidnap people across dimensions then why tf can't the cult members or him, the big powerful prophet himself, also do something like that? Wouldn't that be way more helpful than sending uber eats across dimensions to the Others through sacrifices?? He says they need mc to do that but the Guardians have no issue going "yoink :3" over to our dimension to spirit away his followers and at the same time he also wants us to believe that the same Guardians are afraid of him? Sir. Pick a side, you can't have it both ways. Either they are clearly stronger than you and that's why we are all struggling with mc being a non believer or you are the op big shot of this religion whom everyone grovels under, make it make sense ! !
(Also this isn't me trying to point plot holes in your story pls lol I don't think his religion's lack of consistency is a reflection of your writing ever, in fact I think it's really cool cause it adds to the mystery of it all along with making us question him even more, I just have a lot of fun dissecting the snippets of it we do get out of spite for him lmao).
I have some more things I wanted to add but I'll throw them into another ask cause, again, I feel like this is already gonna be annoying to scroll past lmao, so sorry for anyone seeing this, apologies everyone.
But these were my general takes on the chapter, I really enjoyed it as always so thanks for another update Lauren <333 wish you well!!
- 👁👁
LKSJLFKJASDF OMG HI!!!! <33333
First of all let me just say that you will never annoy me w these comments like this is seriously my dream feedback i could cry honestly im so touched that you care so much to type all of this out and that you clearly spend so much time thinking about the answer and really appreciating it and like. YEAH ILY SM DO NOT WORRY !!!!!
Fun fact about bee and me updating at the same time . we didnt plan it this time . it was in fact random . but there was a time in like… i wanna say december 2022 when bee was writing claire de lune and her and caly and i all conspired to update on the same day and im pretty sure we did and i cant even imagine what it wouldve been like to be a claire de lune/mists of celeste/the answer reader on that day LMFAO
ANYWAYS INTO THE MEAT AAAAAAAAAAA pls these reactions to hj are so real like sometimes ill write something a little bit too … cute ? and then ive gotta reel it back real quick we gotta remember who we’re talking about we gotta stay strong even if he is hot and obsessed
TY for saying you felt that the chapter was still interesting hehe i guess i felt like people would be expecting a lot from this chapter and i knew it wasnt going to be What Was Expected or like that it wasnt going to go right into the escape attempt like i think some people probably thought SO im glad that the chapter was still … paranoia inducing LMFAO
No fun fact idk if this is like obvious or not but my grandparents are/were corn farmers so like. Obvs i have spent a lot of time on a corn field. Planting harvesting running around etc. and i was always so freaked out by combine machines theyre literally fucking ENORMOUS like easily 15 feet tall but the good news is they go like. 10mph. But i still wouldnt want to find myself in the path of one AHAHAH !!!!!! ANYWAYS !!!!!!!!!!!!!
eheheheeh yeah the whole scene w the unholy trinity really …. Ooooooo was it fun to write hehe yes the whole situation w haseul is really a big opportunity for hj to keep manipulating mc and something for him to hold over her head and i hope the dramatic irony is coming through w the fact that we obvs know she’s dead but mc has no idea bc i lovvveeeeeee that tension in a story like just waiting and waiting and waiting for mc to find out … ehehe and i like how you point out that hj hasnt really messed up big time or lost his cool bc youre … right … but he’s almost almost getting there and i just love him being unhinged and ………… yeah ill be quiet now heh
UBER EATS SACRIFICES ACROSS DIMENSIONS SENT MEEEEEE LAKDJFL;ASKJDFL;KJA;DFKJ youre so real for these questions and like yes this is exactly the type of thing i want you to be thinking … hehehe keep yourself in mc’s shoes yk … i def get that you’re not trying to point out plot holes hehe dw dw thank you for your compliments hehe
I WILL ANSWER YOUR SECOND ASK NEXT !!! TYSM AGAIN I LOVE YOU MWAH MWAH MWAH i hope you are WELL !!! <3333
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1. God i dont know and im sorry if that wont even be a proper metaphore but it's kinda like wanting a lot, thinking about it a lot, and achiving it after just letting it go
2. If im not VERY comfortable with a person i usually worry about the akward silence and i try to avoid it at any cost. By talking, saying anything or more likely avoiding those situations in general. It usually happens when im talking with just one person. In groups i dont worry about that so much. The other thing im doing is choosig my personal informations very carefully and overthinking the moment when revealing them will give me the most credit or draw the most attention to me. It hardly ever goes as planned but i still do it and therefore i have a lot of secrets.
3. Yes very often. I mean to some point i remember words too but a lot of my memories are build over a certain feeling, smell or colour. Also i don't need to remember words if i remember the gist of a conversation. I like to seek it as the conversation is going.
4. Well i genuinely dislike group projects because usually when i disagree with the group no one listens to me. I like the things to be done my way and as long as i can go for compromise (it basically means that i just sit quiet and do my job they told me to do) i end up unsatisfied. Especially i hate it when i have to work with lazy people that do the bare minimum while im always trying my best or at least try to make it look decent.
5. I always try to recycle things. I keep them around so i can use them later. It also applies to clothes. When i have holes in socks i alter them to gloves or something like that. I wear clothes as long as i can and when they no longer comply with their duties i change them to something different.
About my style - it's pretty neat i think. It's not super stiff like fulldress everyday but i wouldn't call it messy or 'wear whatever gets in your hands first regardles its dirty or not'.
6. I would get a bit paranoid (this word isnt perfect here but i dont know exactly how to call it). It always happen when im too long on my own. Especially when im in like a school grip or something. When im forced to meet people almost every day. I dont mind it honestly but sometimes after a whole exhausting week all i need is a weekend just with my family. But when im on my own, i have a lot of free time and nothing specific to do i let my overthinking take control over me. It's usually about not using free time eficiently. I hate procrasinating i fight with all i have to not to do that. And when it happens i start to panic. I overthink to the point i cant sleep i practicly cant do anything which makes the whole thing even worse.
What exactly do i mean by using free time efficiently? Im not sure myself. But its kinda about compleating things you have for tomorow today and gathering expirence you may need in some distant future
7. I would get bored or as i said paranoid really quickly. This kind of life is a romantic fantasy i used to dream of when i was younger but now reality punched me in the face and i realised that life of a complete loner is not for me. I dont need many people but i need someone even one person. I also dont really see value in living only for myself. It doesnt give me enough motivation to keep going. Mostly because i cant really trust my own self, my own thoughts so i won't know what is good enough or what is even right. I would like some people to be aware of what im doing and like it. I dont really talk about it around people (it's one of my secrets) but i like contending it helps me with improvment. And after i won im no longer ashamed of my work or maybe less ashamed. My rivals usualy dont even know they are beeing challenged and they dont know they've been defeated. The moment of succes is mine to decide. I dont think this method hurts anyone and it kinda helps me keep my fear of beeing not good enough in check, and understand my rivals (they are usually my friends or relatives)
8. I am pretty motivated. Im not entirely sure what im trying to achive but it is out there and im trying to be at least good at everything around me. You never know what you will need in future
About energy - i dont know? Latelty ive been sleeping more than ever and i get tired early but im still able to run two days with no sleep if needed
9. I put even more onto my shoulders which sometimes lead to overstimulation, health problems etc. I dont know why im doing it but i always think that i can do everything i ordered myself to do (i usually cant) but still refuse to cancel plans, ease off a bit. Basically my body has to take categorical measures to settle me down and force me to rest
Thanks again for helping me you dont even know how grateful i am
Guys is that possible to have like 5w3 enneagram bc im really confused rn
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