#it doesn't matter if we're into that specific thing. we'll goddamn well write it just for the challenge

[inseparabiles]

#highkey envy everybody in the tags#who gets asks like 'please write piss kink yesterday'#where the fuck are you getting your freaks from#high society life has made me so prim and proper#got my pinky up when I drink my fucking tea

would you like write smut like that? is that why you haven't because you don't get asks like that and you would if you did? asking for a friend

It's genuinely. Like don't get me wrong we do like writing our genfic, we do love our all of that that we're doing anyway and people seem to like reading, but it's like

I guess it's been oddly branding? And I don't know if it's that people now take that brand as a "well you wouldn't do this thing and asking it of you would be weird and I'm going to respect your implicit boundaries by not doing it" or if it's more like "we, the audience that you have, want this specific thing that you're already writing and when you part from it it's HIGHKEY WEIRD and OFFPUTTING" or a mix of both but

would we like to get the kind of unhinged requests that we're seeing all over the tags? Get slapped in the face with an ask that's just so out there? Write explicit for the sake of explicit without having to find a better excuse for it? Yes. God. Yes. We would.

[ma-gic-gay]

Three hours.

Three goddamn hours of his life he's never getting back that were completely wasted on making this pros and cons list.

There were so many more interesting things he could've done in those three hours. He could've been doing paperwork, or watching paint dry or spending time with his children. Or all three at the same time. But no, he had to help her make the most extensive list he's ever known to exist.

This is some form of karma for hooking up with her.

"This is my personal hell," the brunette tells her. "It's exactly like a nightmare I once had."

"Sounds like an oddly specific nightmare."

"Just let me know when you're done making this list. I have to go do the far more interesting task of watching paint dry. First, I must find where the paint is."

"Not so fast! This list is complete and now it's time to weigh the options here," Carly says, stopping him from moving.

He glances at the list and sighs, "Certain death is not an actual thing that belongs on this list. The same goes for Earth blowing up and someone randomly stalking us. These are just your nightmares, and that's a whole other list."

Pouting, she crosses them off the list. "Happy now?"

"I'd be happier if you didn't waste three hours of my life making this list."

"Oh stop, you know this is the most logical solution," she waves a hand as though she's truly carefree at this moment in time. "Besides, this is an inclusive list of pretty much every reason you could think of."

"Yes, Elizabeth needed to be on this list," Jason says, rolling his eyes at her. "I'm beginning to think you just want to rub this in her face when she's married to and very much in love with Franco Baldwin, despite my better judgement and many discussions with her on that subject."

"Fine, I'll cross her off the list. But getting little Lizzie mad isn't exactly a con," she agrees, sighing.

"And the fact you hate her because we're friends has nothing to do with this," he says, raising an eyebrow. "Need I remind you of your reaction when you found out I had fathered Jake?"

"You hid that from me! And I hate her, but that part doesn't matter as much," the blonde playfully glares at him.

"Mhm," he agrees, rolling his eyes again. The things he does for this woman. "So, are there more pros or cons on this incredibly long list? Please, don't read them all out loud or I think we'll be here until our deaths."

"Roughly equal, but I don't know how you want to weigh each thing. For example, I assume your kids go above the possibility the world could end because of this."

"Cross that one off the list too. The world hasn't ended yet and we've done much more questionable things. Please, let's only count the real reasons that matter, such as," he pauses, looking at the list quickly, "Sonny."

"He's dead, we both know that."

"We also both know you're in love with him."

"Hard to be in love with a dead dude."

"Sounds like it must really suck. I can't know what you're feeling, of course, but sounds pretty bad."

"What I meant was that I don't entirely agree with that statement you made about me being in love with him," she retorts, rolling her eyes.

"Well, besides you, he's my best friend," he reminds her.

"Yeah, but I'm in first place for best friend," she says, smiling as though she's won a prize when he chuckles and nods. "I'm also not dead, which is a major pro to me being your best friend."

"Yes, livelihood is a good trait to have in a friend," Jason agrees, chuckling to himself.

"Well of course it is! Especially when it's me. Now, let's cross off all things that don't apply. Just look at it and cross off everything you don't agree with being on there." She hands him a pen and looks at the paper as he laughs. "Don't laugh at my genius idea, Jason. It's arguably the best I've had in a long time."

"A genius idea would be how to cure cancer, Carly. This is a Carly plan, god help us both."

"You'll be fine," she says, smiling as he crosses something out. "Hey, that's a very valid point there you're just erasing from it!"

"No, it is not. Your mother has absolutely nothing to do with this."

"My mother loves you!"

"Carly, that does not constitute as something for this list."

"I disagree."

"Too late, I crossed her name out already."

"Give me that pen and I will write it again."

"Carly. Let me cross out invalid points here. You can fight me about their validity later in life."

"Fine," she pouts. "But I don't like this."

"And I don't like that I have this list in front of me."

"Just erase all of my hard work like it's nothing, it's fine. Not like it's the most extensive list with each and every thing we need to consider on it," Carly continues dramatically.

Ten minutes later, half of the list is crossed off much to the anger of Carly. "I put my heart and soul into this list and this is how you repay me, crossing out half of it!"

Chuckling, Jason just says, "You'll be fine. Besides, I think that's the last thing I'll be crossing off."

"Well, now we have to organize each of them in order of how serious they are."

"There's more of a process to this?" Jason groans, already dreading that part of his day. "Can't we just make a decision based off of this list in and of itself so that we don't focus another three hours of our days on this?"

"Fine. What do you think we should do from here, using only this list?"

"I don't know, why don't you have a decision made up in your mind? This is taking a concerning amount of time, especially since it's you," he questions.

"Maybe because I'm thinking of what to say when the kids get back here!"

"You mean the kids that are used to me being in your kitchen with you? Yeah, I'm sure they're going to be really confused and realize we hooked up last night at the sight of us," he agrees sarcastically.

"Alright, you make a good point there. I can't make a decision, though," Carly sighs, agreeing with him in a minor victory for the assassin.

"That was the whole point of this list!"

"I never guaranteed that it would work!"

"Yes, you did. You said it would show us which decision would be the right one," he counters.

"You know what, screw the list," Carly says, ripping it up and throwing it in the trashcan. "We can figure this out without needing a list! We're adults, we can solve our problems on our own without needing any help from that."

"Three hours. I'm never getting those three hours back that you spent on that list, Carly, and for you to just throw it away... You're lucky you're my best friend."

"Shut up and just tell me what you feel."

"At this moment? Like I'm getting a headache and I don't have nearly enough patience for your plan."

"I never called it a plan, you did, and you know that's not what I meant."

"What exactly do you want me to tell you my feelings on, then?"

"I don't know, Jason, what's your feeling about Laura and Cyrus being siblings? I want to know your feelings on what happened last night!"

To be continued because I'm falling asleep rn to Taylor Swift breakup songs

"It's hard being in love with a dead dude." Pick a struggle-