#it doesn’t help that i stupidly agreed to do another thing after rehearsal today so that’s a 9 hour day in the books

[taemins-dolphin]

Really? Mcdonald’s? (With Sehun)

genre: angst?, def some smut 5200 words

summary: after sehun finally admit to liking you, after 15 fucking years, he decides to bring you to happiest place on Earth: McDonald’s. 

The afternoon is ruined by the same person you thought was going to be beyond amazing, exceeding expectations, but apparently you weren’t special enough to take out to a normal restaurant.

Instead of the romantic candle lights and classical violin music playing in the background of a fancy restaurant, you’re hanging out at a McDonald’s with Sehun who’s playing with his happy meal toy.

When your friend asked you to go on date, you expected to be dined to the nines, expensive meals, excessive flirting, maybe some flowers right before even getting into his limo of a car.

You don’t want to sound bratty and materialistic but when he asked you out, you expected a lot more from what you’ve been hearing.

He’d always brag about his extravagant dates that always seem to exceed the expectations of many women. He would describe every millisecond of each date to your same group of friends. When he asked you on a date, you accepted because a) you liked him and b) you were curious as to what a famous Sehun date would be like.

You thought you were going to be treated like a princess like he treated those other girls, at least for one night.

But here you were now, watching Sehun stupidly dump his McNuggets into his BBQ sauce like the kids do in the commercials. You sigh, at least he paid.

The evening doesn’t end there, Sehun apparently has more surprises for you. Great surprises? You seriously doubt it. It’s Sehun. You should’ve expected a kiddish date.

He brings you to one of those kid cafes and tells you how much trouble he’s had to go through to reserve the whole thing for you. You grin, it’s kind of nice to go back to your childhood once in a while. This is actually sweet of him.

“Thanks Sehun.” You clutch onto his dress shirt and pull him down to kiss him sweetly on the cheek. You feel Sehun’s smile grow a little when your lips reach his skin, cheeks blushing and reddening at the sudden contact. He has to think fast.

“I’m glad you like it. Tag!” He pushes you off of him so he gets a head start and immediately runs up the ‘tower’ to hide inside the slide. You groan, just when it started going well.

-

“I really had fun today.” Sehun parks in front of your driveway and shifts his eyes from the road to the stick and finally to your eyes. His eyes seem busy as he stares at your hair, your eyes, your nose, your lips (for a second), and then your eyes again. He’s so distracted by you that he can’t keep focus at all.

Why is he so nervous? Today was basically like any other hangout you would originally have with the others. The only difference was that you two were alone.

“Me too.” You simply nod. You kind of did. It was hard to have fun when all you thought of was all the effort he put into all his other dates. Did he think of you as 'one of the guys’? Was that why he didn’t put any thought into this date?

You were confused. If he thought of you as 'one of the guys’, then why would he ask you out on a date?

You hear him gulp beside you as he leans his head closer to yours and then backs away again.

Did he want to kiss you?

You clear your throat awkwardly.

“Um, I’m gonna go now. My mom’s probably waiting for me.” You smile a little to ease the awkward tension between you two. Sehun only nods, murmuring a bye before you’re out the door.

Your heart beats, not in the good way, as you watch him drive away. You like Sehun. You really do. He’s one of your best friends.

But maybe that’s it. He’s only meant to be a friend.

-

“He- what?!” Suho whispers a bit too loudly, covering his mouth so the librarian doesn’t shush you guys again. You nod sadly, disbelief runs all over Suho’s face.

“Yeah, he took me to McDonald’s and then we went to a kid café. I mean it was okay because it was Sehun but I expected more for a first date.” You shrug, maybe Sehun wasn’t as dreamy as you thought. You knew he was immature and joking all the time. He’s your friend and you knew him like the back of your hand. You really shouldn’t have expected anything more than McDonald’s or Wendy’s.

“I don’t blame you. That little shit… Spending so much money on other girls…” Your head immediately drops at the mention of the other women he’s been on dates with. Did you not deserve to be treated the same way?

“Anyways, don’t go on another date with him until he apologizes for treating you like a child.” Suho half-smiles sympathetically as he pats your head. Poor girl. She has no idea what kind of an idiot she just got herself involved with, he thinks.

-

oh sehun heyy, wanna hang out today?

you idk, i promise my mom id stay in today.

oh sehun kk, omw.

You panic, automatically calling Suho.

“Hello?” Suho calmly answers, not expecting to hear such panic so late in the afternoon. He glances at the time and then at Sehun who’s packing up his stuff. This raises eyebrows for Suho. He never leaves this early.

“He’s coming over!” Oh. That’s where he’s going.

“Ok, stop yelling he can hear you. I’ll try to stop him while you think of a reason why he can’t go to your house. K bye.” He hangs up quickly before finding Sehun throw his backpack over his shoulder. It’s Suho’s turn to panic when Sehun waves him a goodbye and tells him that he’s going to go see you, a blush growing on his face.

Suho finds it cute and accidentally lets him go, distractedly. He sits back on his bed to go on his phone until he realizes that wait, he was supposed to prevent him from going to see you.

“Wait Sehun!” He turns around, blush slowly fading away but still obvious enough for Suho to know that Sehun really likes you.

“Where you going? You said we’d hang out tonight.” Suho pretends to care about their 'promise’ even if he they never actually swore anything and hanging out was just a habit by now.

“I’m going to go see my girlfriend. I see you every week but I haven’t seen her ever since our first date. I can’t mislead her; she might break up with me.” His mood drops slightly; afraid he might lose you so suddenly just because you rarely see him. He didn’t do so well on their first date.

When Sehun said 'girlfriend’, Suho was immediately caught off guard. Was he assuming things or was that what you agreed to?

“Girlfriend? You guys went on one date.”

“Yeah but we were friends before that so we skipped the formalities and went straight to being boyfriend girlfriend. That’s why she’s so great.”

The awkward silence breaks as Sehun realizes exactly why you have never initiated the first text, or the first move in general.

“Does she… Not feel the same way? Oh god.” He covers his hands over his face, embarrassment spreading all around the room that even Suho feels it. Sehun’s reddening, he can’t believe you were nice enough to text him back and give him adorable smiles in the hallways.

“Hyung! Why didn’t you tell me I was going too fast? She probably doesn’t even see me that way.” Sehun’s eyes immediately widen at a sudden thought.

“What if she didn’t even know that was a date?”

“Shut up. She likes you. But don’t treat her like one of the guys. She expected you to bring her to a fancy restaurant like you did with the other girls you’ve dated.” Suho tells Sehun who’s hyperventilating at the amount of embarrassment he’s feeling right now. It’s mixed with a feeling of sadness, disappointed in himself for assuming that you’d like being treated differently from his exes. He never knew you were the type to be dined and wined.

But then the memory of the gang sitting in a circle around the fire at a camping trip hits him, he remembers talking about what kind of partner they’d like in the future and the guys teased you for wanting to be treated like a princess because you just didn’t look like that type of girl.

Why didn’t anyone stop him when he told the guys that he was bringing you to McDonald’s? Those jerks.

“Do you think she wants to see me?”

Suho shakes his head, but tells him to go either way. If you’re anything like the guys, you’re going to forget about everything and break up with Sehun as soon as he gets to your place. But now, Sehun knows better so he should be fine. Suho hopes.

-

You’re way too sad to deal with him right now. Sehun’s knocking on your door, expecting to be let in but you’re not having it. Your heart hurts every second you ignore the knocks on the door.

You can’t help it. You had to tell him something.

You open the door, immediately blurting out lines you’ve rehearsed a million times in your room. “Sorry Sehun, I don’t think this is going to work out. I like you but I think you see me more as a friend than a girlfriend.”

You’re about to shut the door on him when he puts a foot at the small gap, pushing it wider so he could squeeze in.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t know you wanted a fancy dinner. I thought we just skipped a step and went straight to being comfortable with each other. I really didn’t know anything. Please forgive me. I’ll take you out wherever you want next time. Please, I really like you.” He begs, and you almost consider forgiving him. You snap out of it. You need someone who will know automatically what you want for dinner, someone who could read your mind by the expression you’re putting on. A mind reader, basically.

“Sehun, I like you too but I’m not your mom. I’m not going to tell you what’s right or what’s wrong. If you can’t figure that out yourself then I’m sorry but please leave.”

“This isn’t fair. I know you like the back of my hand.”

“That’s not the point, Sehun. The point is that you thought I wasn’t good enough to be taken out to a nice restaurant. The fact that you thought people you barely knew deserved better treatment than someone you’ve known for 15 years. You’re one of my best friends, I know you. I’ve seen you give your all to someone you like, you’re really sweet and such a gentleman but apparently with me, it’s not even worth it. You really hurt me Sehun.”

“But-” Sehun sighs. He hates this. He doesn’t even get a second chance? Something clicks in Sehun. “You know what? Fuck it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for thinking that you were down to earth and deserved something different other than a trip to a five-star restaurant. I’m sorry I can’t be a sugar daddy to you. I’m sorry that you’re not materialistic like the others because obviously you fucking are.”

He’s out the door before you can stop him. But how could you? You were frozen. His hurtful words were digging down into your brain to imprint into your head for you to remember.

-

He screwed up. Sehun fucked up so bad. He was so shocked how badly he’s fucked up. He insulted you. He knows that you’re not materialistic and that you’re most definitely not someone who wants a sugar daddy. You’re so independent. Sehun is shocked by how he even managed to call you those words. You just want someone that could treat you differently from the others.

He can’t believe that’s what he has to say after months of planning how to ask you out, contemplating whether or not he should risk your friendship by his personal desire to be with you.

And it’s not that he’s loved you ever since the third grade that makes it special, no, he’s just learned to love you this semester, it’s just that he’s always pictured this perfect girl and you just so happen to fit the criteria perfectly. He just never realized it. He wanted you.

And he did, for a second of his life.

Once he actually got you to say yes, he couldn’t think properly, he was so excited, thinking of all the fun things you guys could do instead of the suffocating expensive and fancy dinner he was used to.

He’s so stupid to think that you wouldn’t get upset after all the years of telling each other about your dates and how he of course had to exaggerate how expensive and luxurious his were.

He feels like crying, whining his frustrations into his pillow.

“Why?!” He yells out, loud enough for Suho to hear outside of his apartment door. He shakes his head, following the sounds of desperation. He must’ve messed up. Good thing Suho brought snacks.

“Hey, how was it?” Suho puts down the bags filled with chips at the corner of Sehun’s bed. Sehun hears the sound of bags crunching and immediately steals one amongst the rest, coincidentally taking your favourite. He groans, throwing the bag away and stuffs his face back into his pillow.

“Yeah, she didn’t sound too happy on the phone. I already told you all you needed to know yet you still find a way to mess everything up. Good luck finding a new 'perfect’ woman.” Suho shakes his head in disappointment while he eats potato chips on top of his sulking friend.

“Aren’t you my friend? What’re you doing constantly talking to her? Besides, there is no perfect woman. She’s it. She’s the only one.” Sehun looks up to his hyung and frowns.

“Of course I am, but I’m her friend too. And so were you. Let her go for now Sehun. Maybe in a couple 15 more years, you’ll get another chance.”

“You’re mean.”

-

Suho brings the leftover chips to your house next to comfort you, only to find that Baekhyun and Chanyeol are already there, watching a movie with you.

“What the-?” Suho speaks up, throwing some of the snacks on his friends. “Why is no one comforting Sehun?”

“Because he’s the one that fucked up.” Baekhyun simply says, his arm resting around your shoulders while you lean on him.

“Besides, we knew you were going to talk to him.” Chanyeol speaks up this time, trying to save his image.

Suho only frowns before he’s heading to you in concern.

“Hey, you okay?”

“Getting called a gold digger doesn’t make me feel okay, Suho.”

“He called you a wha-?” Suho is shut up by Baekhyun’s loud mouth.

“He kept calling her materialistic! That’s why we’re not comforting that brat. Look at what he did to our wittle pwecious pwincess!” Baekhyun pinches your cheeks downwards to make a sad frown face. You let him, you’re too sad to stop him.

Suho suddenly frowns, slapping Baekhyun away so he can sit by your side.

“Did he really say that? Because I can talk to him if you want. I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”

“Don’t. He’s right. I’m not grateful. I’m just like any other spoiled brat he’s taken out.” You shake your head. Maybe you and Sehun aren’t meant to be more than friends.

“But you’re not.” Chanyeol chimes into the conversation. “Everybody knows that you’re the most selfless person here. You always think for others. It’s time for someone to think of you.”

“And if Sehun can’t do that, then I will!” Baekhyun says casually until he’s hit by Suho and Baekhyun is suddenly stuck in a fit.

“Aw, come on. I’m not going to date her! Do you want Sehun to go insane?” Baekhyun reasons, eyebrows raised because he’s obviously joking. Who would try and compete with Sehun’s pathetically cute over-a-decade old crush?

Not Baekhyun, that’s for sure. He knows better. Your face basically has his name on it and he has yours imprinted on his forehead, his neck, his ass; you were all his but you don’t seem to see how head over heels he is for you.

It doesn’t help that Sehun called you names. Baekhyun thinks that if he ever chose to date you, he’d be as stupid as Sehun was today.

You were not materialistic. You need a change from your tomboyish style.

“Stop comforting me. I don’t need you to lie for Sehun.” You get up frustratedly. “I’m going to bed. You can tell Sehun I’m sorry for wasting his time.”

You pause, “And if he asks, we’re just friends.”

-

A few hours later, you’re sitting alone in your room, listening to nothing but the sounds of random meme videos you scroll through on Instagram. Your parents aren’t home to tell you to focus on your studies, your sister is out with her friends; you are alone.

Your friends all left because you had pushed them away, claiming that you were perfectly fine. You understood what Sehun was saying and you accepted it.

You’ve always hung out with boys and that materialistic and Barbie girl side of you would only come out occasionally. You were too afraid of the teasing that it’s become rare for that side to come out.

You don’t blame Sehun for being shocked. You weren’t letting him know the hidden part of you.

“AH!” Someone cries.

You immediately squeal and hide in your closet as quickly as you could. You watched 'The Call’; you were not about to be abducted by some psychopath.

That is, of course, until you hear your name being called out by the man of the hour, Oh Sehun.

“Are you home? Suho gave me the key to your home.” You heard him enter your room casually. When did Suho steal your keys??

“What is this? She’s not even home.” Sehun says with a little attitude. You almost didn’t want to reveal yourself to your bratty friend. But how awkward would it be if you came out too late?

You swallow whatever’s in your throat and open the door.

“Need something?”

Oh Sehun yells out bloody murder in shock as he turns around from the pictures on the wall to see you appear out of nowhere.

“You bra-” Sehun’s eyes shut tightly as he realizes what his mouth was trying to say.

“I mean, I wanted to apologize. To say sorry for what I said, it really wasn’t cool-”

“It’s fine, I don’t care. We can still be friends, by the way. Now, go home.” You shut him down before he wastes his time in apologizing, again. He really didn’t have to.

Sehun, however, looks upset. Was this not what he wanted?

“You wanted forgiveness, right? I’m giving it to you.” You act the way you used to: cold, tomboyish, sarcastic.

“Why do you look so dumbfounded? You wanted to apologize. When someone apologizes, they want forgiveness. I’m giving it to you-” You’re trying so hard not to burst because it’s taking all of your energy not to cry and whine that no, you’re not okay.

Sehun is your best friend. He’s supposed to know you. He’s supposed to understand every tad bit of you. It’s so frustrating to know that your fucking best friend doesn’t even know that you like to be treated like a fucking princess.

What you swallowed down before has suddenly come back up, in the form of tears.

You’re suddenly sobbing on place. It’s probably awkward for Sehun to see you cry like this because of him but shit happens. Usually, he’d already be hugging you, before the tears. Today, he’s standing awkwardly, eyes shifting anywhere but on you.

“I’m done hearing about your fucking casual hookups and your fucking uh- fucking- women that you bring out to fancy ass dates. I’m done crying and whining to Suho that I can’t have you. I am so done being with you.”

The truth is out.

You breathe in a whip of air while Sehun is still standing, while he bites on his inner cheek. He’s keeping in something inside. He just wants to blurt out something but he knows you’re not anywhere close to done.

“But I-I- just, I don’t know anymore. I am in love with you, Oh Sehun. I fucking love everything about you. I love how you tutor my dumb ass after school for shit we learnt the year before. I love how you write random shit on my desk before class because you know it’ll make me laugh. I love how you’re ready to kick the shit out of anyone who comes near me with bad intentions. I love you, I love you, I love you. And, and I am done lying to myself abut that.”

You take in a deep breath before you’re about to say the absolute worst thing you could possibly tell him. But you have to, it\s for the best.

“We… We can’t be frien-”

Sehun’s lips tackle yours, wanting to take away those harsh words. He’d rather take a bullet than stop being friends with you. Giving up on you is like receiving a thousand stabs to his heart.

He will never abandon you. Being with you is where he belongs.

“Don’t. Don’t say that. I’m sorry for calling you all those things. I honestly didn’t mean any of it. I was just… So mad. I was so mad at myself for ruining things with you.” Sehun has your head in his hands as he speaks to you. He forces you to stare into his eyes so you see how sincere he is.

“I’ve been in love with you for 15 years. And, that day, the day I had the courage to ask you out on a date was the day I risked it all. It was all or nothing. For some reason, I was so sure you were going to turn me down. And when you didn’t, my brain exploded. I couldn’t think properly. I had so many ideas go on in my head. I wanted you to fall in love with me on that first date. I- I thought of how you make me feel and that was joy. So I brought you to places you love and places you wished to go to. I just wanted to bring you somewhere special, different from the others, somewhere where you… would fall in love with me.”

Sehun swallows as the tears on his eyes began to fall as well.

He had prepared so much for you to feel special, unlike the others, and you didn’t see that.

You see Sehun prepare to speak as well before you’re kissing him back. The kiss has become salty because of the tears melting in together but you didn’t care. Oh Sehun was kissing you back as he held onto your head tighter while you wrapped your arms around his waist to pull him closer.

Sehun shuts the door with one hand, slamming it harshly as he continues to kiss you deeply.

You wince at the sound the door makes and pull yourself away from Sehun. His lips chase back to yours, giving you a little kiss before leaning his forehead on yours.

“You mean so much to me. Will you let me show you?” He’s gazing into your eyes. And all of a sudden, you’re reminded of all the moments you’ve never noticed Sehun’s acts of love.

You were so oblivious of his feelings for you. 15 years. He waited 15 years to confess to you. He spent 15 years with unrequited love and now he’s asking you permission to finally show you exactly what those 15 years consisted of.

“Show me.”

Sehun smiles sweetly and kisses your cheek. His lips slowly move to your neck. His hands move up to the straps of your tank top and gently remove them from your shoulders and then your arms completely. His fingers glide down your torso and under the clothing. He covers your skin in kisses as he pulls the thin material up until he reaches your breasts.

He removes the tank top completely and drags his lips softly from your breasts to your lips, teasing you as he whispers to you.

“Come.” He tells you as he pulls you to your bed. He sits on the mattress while you’re staring down at him. “Turn around.”

You listen to him and wince when his lips meet the skin on your back.

“Stay still.” He continues to tickle your back with his mouth as his hands find their way to your waist and play with the band of your sweatpants. “Aren’t these mine?”

“You gave them to me, so they’re mine now.” You glance behind you to find Sehun’s adorable blush and smile.

“I can’t believe you still have these. These are at least 10 years old.” Sehun says as he takes them off casually as if you two aren’t reminiscing your childhood together. He’s so amazed, mainly because he gave this to you in the fifth grade when you forgot your gym clothes at home.

Removing your pants, he finds you already butt naked in front of you. He didn’t know you would go commando at home.

Sehun bites his lip, he wants to do so much to you but he doesn’t even know where to start. Your body is so captivating.

He slides his hands to the front to massage your thighs while you attempt to look behind you. He turns your head using his finger to move your chin. He wants you to focus on the feeling, not him.

You suddenly moan when Sehun grips onto your thighs tightly while passing by your clit to tease you. He repeats, wanting to hear it again. He does it over and over until his nails grip onto the skin and he’s sucking on the small of your back.

“Sehun-ah.” You whine. You want more.

He shushes you and pulls you closer to him so you’re sitting on his semi-hard bulge. You bite on your lip. Should you tease him as well?

Your hips immediately start to move in circles around his bulge. You can hear his breathing pattern change and his hands are suddenly preoccupied elsewhere to tease you right back. You’re now the one out of breath as he uses his middle finger to glide up your slit. Once at your clit, he does one circle and restarts, adding another circle to every cycle. After three times, he focuses on your clit only, applying pressure every time he hears a noise come from your mouth.

The rhythm on your hips falter the wetter you get but you can still feel Sehun’s bulge grow harder. Sehun surprises you as he dips his finger inside of you and swirls it around one time before he removes his finger, hooking it to hit a sweet spot. He returns to your clit and then back inside until you’re so wet that he adds another digit inside of you.

This time, he doesn’t fully come out and stays inside. He uses his other hand to play with your clit as the other to finger fuck you.

You almost forget that you were teasing Sehun as well as his fingers move faster and faster.

You release a moan and you rest your head on Sehun’s shoulder, you’re cumming. You feel yourself clench around Sehun’s index and middle finger. He thrusts into you slowly, adding more pleasure to your high.

You feel Sehun smile beside you before he moves your hair away from your ear and whispers to you.

“My turn.”

He pulls you all the way back so his back is leaning on the wall. You want to turn around but he refuses, slowly shaking his head.

“Not yet.” He removes his shirt and pushes his sweatpants and underwear off. He takes one glance at the grey pants and frowns. There’s a wet dot.

“Look at what you did to my pants.” He pouts, taking out a condom from his wallet in his pants. “You’ll have to make up for it.”

“I would if you let me turn around.” You whine, wanting to look in his eyes as you ride him.

“Nope.” He smiles as he wraps the condom around him and grabs your waist and positions his cock to your entrance.

“Ready?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“I’m just kidding. Go!” You laugh to yourself as he rolls his eyes and slaps your hips lightly. You’re stuck in a fit of giggles and release another your joke you might regret.

“Mm, more daddy!” You moan as loud as those porn stars Sehun made you watch once.

“Oh daddy’s going to give it to you, princess.” Sehun smirks, pushing your waist down to his cock. You release the same moan as before but this is much more real.

You’re not laughing anymore as you realize how long Sehun is. You can feel him reach further than any of your other exes but you’re too afraid to feed his ego.

“You okay?” Sehun asks, worried why you stopped laughing. You only nod, he feels really good. He stretches you so perfectly it’s hard to stay quiet at how good it feels inside of you.

Sehun gets the image as he hears you exhale a long breath you seem to be keeping in. He begins to thrust into you, one step at a time, not too fast. His hand moves to your clit and lightly applies pressure.

You moan loudly while you non-consciously move your hips in circles in the rhythm of Sehun’s thrusts.

Sehun curses as his tip hits your sweet spot. He’s moaning out how good you feel. He can’t help but move faster. The adrenaline increases the quicker he goes. You’re calling out his name, warning him that you’re almost close again.

He groans out loud in want and desire, thrusting up into you with rhythm. The lust grows and he can’t help but push you to the right so you’re laying on your stomach as he’s on your back, keeping his rhythm.

His hands chase after yours, kissing them as you tug on the sheets. You feel your room grow hot and moist from both of your moans.

Sehun’s kissing and sucking on the back of your shoulders, you’re sure your skin is covered in love marks.

Sehun’s about to cum when he yells out his love for you.

“I love you so fucking much.”

You feel the hot warmth of his semen release inside of the condom. But Sehun doesn’t stop. He moves in and out of you, hoping you’d cum soon after.

After a couple more thrusts, you’re cumming for the second time within an hour, walls clenching around his member instead of his fingers.

“I love you too, Sehun.”

chanandler bong speaking: OMG I ACTUALLY FINISHED SOMETHING. THIS IS SO RECENT. IM SHOOOOOOK. also id like to thank mystic messenger, mainly seven for bringing up the angst in me. gracias, meow~

[artandteaandstuff-blog]

Kings and Queens - Part 23

Summary: Emma Swan is struggling as an actress. All seems lost until she manages to swing a spot on Kings and Queens, the most popular Medieval TV Show of all time. But here’s the catch: Emma hates being in love, and acting it is proving more tricky than she first thought. Her whole world is about to change, especially working alongside her new and mysterious co-star Killian Jones. It’s been so long since Emma has opened her heart to anyone. Could she start now?

Rating: T. But there is a chapter later in the fan fiction which blurs the lines a little. Apart from that, no other warnings

Can also be found here, on FF.net.

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE | PART SIX | PART SEVEN | PART EIGHT I PART NINE | PART TEN | PART ELEVEN | PART TWELVE | PART THIRTEEN | PART FOURTEEN | PART FIFTEEN | PART SIXTEEN | PART SEVENTEEN | PART EIGHTEEN | PART NINETEEN | PART TWENTY | PART TWENTY-ONE | PART TWENTY-TWO

Author’s notes:

STILL THANK YOU  @electrictoes and @holdmecloseandfast.

Check out the amazing art @lucythemarauder created for this, right HERE. It is brilliant, go check it out!

@katie-dub made this gorgeous edit for my story, which you can see HERE. It’s so brilliant, check it out!

The whole of the next morning Emma has butterflies. From the moment she wakes up, all the way to work. They flutter with every thought, with every movement. Even though she was stupidly drunk last night, she can still remember almost every detail.

His hands in her hair, his lips against hers.

During make-up she catches sight of herself in the mirror. Her face is too pale, her eyes are too bright. She jumps every time the door opens, but it’s not him. It’s never him. She sits on the chair, not as chatty as she usually is.

“It’s a gorgeous day out,” Ariel comments as she combs her hair.

“Mm.”

His hands in her hair, his lips against hers.

“Emma, are you okay? You seem a little… distracted.”

“Just tired,” says Emma.

She tries to smile but it comes out as an awkward grimace. She searches for any sign that he’s been here, or any sign that he will be here. But he doesn’t show. She doesn’t have a scene with him either. It’s a good thing. She keeps messing up her lines without him here, she can’t imagine what it would be like with him.

She’s sat in the cafeteria when Elsa finds her, staring at an apple and some water. She hadn’t bothered getting a proper meal or even a sandwich, afraid she wouldn’t eat it. Even now she watches the apple with a slight disgust. She opens her water and takes a sip.

“Not hungry?” asks Elsa as she sits down opposite Emma with a tray full of food.

“Nope,” she says.

“How come?”

“Hangover.” In spite of herself, she takes a bite out of her apple. As soon as she does, she regrets it. It crunches loudly and it’s too sweet.

“Oh yeah.” She picks up her sandwich, lettuce and sauce falling out of it as she takes a bite. Once she swallows she says, “Went out drinking after the show?”

“Uhuh.”

“With Killian.”

Emma gives her a look over her apple. “Don’t say it like that.”

“Say it like what?”

“Like that.”

After half of her sandwich filling has fallen out, Elsa gives up and drops it back onto her plate. She starts on her potato chips, opening the packet with a pop. “All I’m saying is we all saw the interview on TV last night.”

“So?”

“So. Captain Swan. Really?” She raises her eyebrows.

Emma shrugs. “I can’t help it if the fans want us together. Fans are crazy.”

“Emma, they don’t want you together. They think you are together. After all that evidence, I’m starting to believe it myself, and I work with you.”

Emma rolls her eyes. “We’re not together.” Feelings and images of last night flood her mind again. She rests a hand over her stomach, hoping to squash the butterflies.

Elsa leans forward. “And why aren’t you?”

“Because we’re not.”

“Oh, come on. We’re all noticed the doe eyes and yearning looks.”

“I don’t yearn.” Emma takes another bite out of her apple. This time more aggressively.

“He does,” comes Robin’s voice, as he slides in next to Elsa.

Robin. Where did he come from? Was he listening to their private conversation the whole time? The thought replaces the nerves with anger. She can feel her face starting to flush.

“He does,” Elsa agrees.

“He talks about you all the time. It’s all ‘Emma does this, Emma does that’. I love the man, but it’s rather getting on my nerves.”

“This is ridiculous,” says Emma because it’s the only thing she can say.

They’re not together, no, but she can’t exactly tell them about their kissing session last night. She can’t even think about it without losing almost all train of thought.

“You’re blushing,” Elsa accuses.

“I am not.” She resists the urge to cover her face in her hands like a schoolgirl.

Then she spots him, and she does cover her face with her hands, if only for a second. He’s walking over to them (well, Emma), his expression fully fixed on her. When she catches his eyes, he smiles. Cue butterflies.

“Swan,” he says, as he slides into the seat next to her.

“Hi, Elsa,” says Elsa.

“How are you doing, Robin?” says Robin.

He waves a dismissive hand in their direction, and then he turns fully to Emma, voice dropping a notch. “So,” he murmurs. “I was wondering if you’d like to come over to mine tonight. To rehearse.”

“‘To rehearse’. Sure thing, mate,” coughs Will. Will? When did he get here? All she needs is for Graham to turn up and that would be perfect.

Killian ignores them, keeping his eyes firmly on Emma’s. “What do you say, love?”

She considers it. They both finish early today because they do have a big scene coming up, and they need some time to work out how to play it. That’ll be made up later by late nights and early mornings. And she really, really, really wants to be alone with Killian right now. That conversation and kiss have lit a spark in her. A spark which just keeps growing and growing the more she leaves it unattended.

“Sure thing,” she says, trying to keep her voice neutral.

“Excellent,” he says softly. He’s inching even closer, his leg pressing up against hers. “Shall we say eight?”

“Are we even here?” comes Will’s voice again, and then a hissed “Ow” as Elsa jabs him in the ribs.

“Fine by me.”

“Excellent,” he repeats. In one swift motion he rises, eyes never leaving hers. Then he disappears across the cafeteria and out the door. Emma lets out a slow and steady breath.

When she finally gets back into her house, at six PM, she drops her bag on the floor with a thump and makes something to eat. Just pasta because it’s quick and it’s easy and she’s still not entirely hungry.

Afterwards, she showers and moisturises. She never moisturises. She picks out her navy jeans and a button up shirt and dries her hair until it’s the softest it’s ever been.

Only when she’s trying to do her make-up in that cramped bathroom does it hit Emma that she now has enough money to buy another house, a bigger house. The dollars keep rolling in and she’s hardly touched a penny of it. It’s in her nature to save every cent she can, but to have this amount of money and not do anything with it is insane. She makes a mental note to talk to Henry about it later.

She gets a cab to Killian’s. The whole way she nervously watches out the window at the lights in store windows flicking as the car drives past. In no time at all, the car pulls up outside his house, and Emma throws some money in the driver’s direction. She tells him to keep the change, and hurls herself out the car and up the steps before he can reply.

Killian answers the door before she even knocks. He opens it to see Emma stood with a fist in the air, inches away from the wood.

“Eager?” she asks, raising her eyebrows.

“Ha! You sound like me. Come on in.”

She follows him inside, glancing around at the familiar white walls and laminated flooring. She catches the scent of an air freshener, and quickly locates one which is plugged into the wall.

Once again, she’s astounded at how tidy his house is. Sure, she might have a teenage boy, but she’s pretty sure if she didn’t have Henry her house wouldn’t be anywhere near as sparkling as this.

“Can I get you a drink?” he asks, as she follows him into the kitchen.

“What have you got?”

“Rum.” He throws her a cheeky glance over his shoulder. “Is that okay?”

“It’s fine.”

He pours rum into two glasses as she brings her script out her bag and throws it onto the table, as well as a pen. She quickly learnt to always have a pen on hand for notes and such. Now she’s always making notes. Her script is covered in them. Scribbles of every colour in the rainbow.

He holds the glass to her, and she takes it with a soft, “Thanks.”

“You know, I’m surprised you said yes to this,” he muses as he takes a sip of his drink.

Her eyes are on the script. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Things have been slightly… stormy between us recently. I feared we’d be sailing on bumpy seas for the rest of our partnership.”

“Oh?” If she were honest with herself, she feared the same. She and Killian had a strange start and then an even stranger middle. She’s never found someone so irritating yet intoxicating before. How does that even work?

“Aye. Especially after… last night.” His eyes flicker up to hers, like he’s testing the water, trying to work out whether they’re going to acknowledge last night or pretend it didn’t happen.

“After last night,” she confirms with a small smile.

He smiles back and drinks deeply from his glass before setting it down on the table. “Shall we rehearse?”

They’re standing in the living room now, scripts in hands as they throw lines back and forth like a tennis match. This is a big, romantic scene where Alexander is finally confessing his feelings, finally being honest with Rose. As much as Emma loves Rose’s character, she’s starting to see more similarities between herself and Alexander. She too has a hard time opening her heart. Even now, she’s debating whether to get out of there, but something in Killian’s eyes keeps her rooted to the spot.

“It’s like you’re always in two minds,” Emma accuses, eyes following the stream of words on the page. “Can’t you just love me or leave me?”

Killian fixes his eyes on Emma’s face as he speaks. “I’m afraid I can’t live without you.”

She’s blushing, she can feel it, but she keeps her eyes fixed on script. All she has to do is keep focus on the script. “Today, maybe. But what happens tomorrow when you want to leave me again?”

“I will never leave you again.”

“Prove it.”

Before she even has a chance to ask them to do it again, he’s kissing her. It shocks her, mostly because when they’ve rehearsed scenes before, they’ve never rehearsed the kisses. It’s one big no in the world of acting, especially with drinks in hand. (Granted, their drinks lay abandoned on the side, and she’s hardly touched hers.)

“How was that?” He asks as soon as they part.

“What? T-the lines or the…” God, did she just stutter? Did she actually stutter?

He raises one eyebrow the way he does. “Both.”

“Oh, um.” She swallows. “It wasn’t… bad?”

He kisses her again. It's gentle and loving, and something deemed utterly perfect for TV. He lingers for a moment, so she can feel his steady breathing. They both open their eyes at the same time and stare at each other for a few seconds. Tension crackles in the air.

“I don't think Alexander would do it like that,” Killian admits after a moment, voice low. He's still staring at her, and his eyes have a wild look about them. He blinks quickly, a flush rising to his cheeks. “I think he would take her face in his hands. Like this.”

Warmth encases Emma’s cheeks as he places his hands on either side of her face. His mouth falls against hers, and his unshaven chin scratches against her cheek but it's not unpleasant. Not when he's kissing her the way he is. And he has never kissed her like this before.

It's over all too quickly. She follows his lips as he moves away, the tip of her nose bumping his.

“What about that?” he whispers, removing his hands to brush them down her hair, right to the very tips.

A million answers course through her mind, but one speaks out through the sea. She knows what he wants to hear, even if they're treading on a minefield. “Good,” she whispers back. “But it needs to be longer,” she says, just because she needs him to kiss her longer.

He smiles, slow and seductive and suddenly she gets it - he wants her to play along. What an absolute-

He kisses her rough, almost devouring, and she can't help the little whimper that escapes. One hand buries itself in her mass of unruly waves. The other strokes down to her waist, where he curls a tight arm around her, and pulls her to him. The fabric of their clothes rubs together. Heat radiates from him, from every part of his body, from every touch, from their kiss.

His arm doesn't keep her locked in position for long. His hand moves feverishly up her body, like he can't stop touching her.

Perhaps he can’t.

Again it's he who breaks the kiss, but he doesn't stray too far. His face remains close, so that she can make out the scar on his cheek, and the colours in his eyes. They move restlessly, from her eyes to her hair to her lips, like he's memorising every feature on her face. It takes her a moment to realise he's trembling.

“I imagine,” he begins, “and I may be guessing, that he might want to kiss her like this...”

Before Emma has a moment to take that in, he’s peppering uneven kisses from her lips, downward. “Like this.” He's slowly walking her backwards, in a steady rhythm and she stumbles blindly. “Like this.” His mouth is at her jaw now, kissing a path from her ear to her chin. Her back hits a wall, cold even through her sweater and jeans. He presses every inch of his body against hers, eliciting a gasp. The gasp isn't born of acting and it isn't Rose’s reaction. It solely belongs to Emma. Then again, this isn't Alexander kissing her.

His lips dip further down, just below her jawline, and onto her neck. Slow, hot and needing, he kisses again and again. Over and over.

“Is this right?” He murmurs, a low rumble that makes her quiver, breath against her throat. “Would she react like this?”

“I think Rose would-” Her voice falters as he continues his sweet, slow assault. “Rose would-”

Her hands sink into his hair, curling around those soft locks. When her hands have been in his hair before, she’s not had time to truly savour the moment. It was for a job. Now, she commits it to memory. So soft, so thick.

He chuckles. It’s dark and throaty and muffled and doing things to her. “Rose would…?”

“Killian.”

And just like that, it's like she's flicked a switch on him. His kisses come not necessarily faster, but with a new sense of urgency. Hungry. Demanding.

She's felt his hands tangled in her hair, lips against her neck but never like this. Before, it was for the cameras. The intention was never to seduce, but to entertain. His motions were robotic, almost detached but here, right now, they're making her knees weak. Especially when his hands begin to snake up her sweater, as he murmurs in her ear.

“Killian…” Emma warns, completely breathless.

Killian’s head snaps up to gaze at her. His eyes still have that wild look, hinting unspeakable things that turn her to jelly.

“Ah, my apologies,” he begins, pressing another kiss to her mouth. “It's bad form to make love to a woman against a wall. Especially the first time.” Without further ado he scoops her up bridal style, before she has a moment to catch her breath, or process exactly what he's just said. “And a woman as beautiful as you, Emma Swan,” he continues, his playful voice reminiscent of the usual Killian Jones, as he carries her up the stairs, “Deserves my full and prompt attention.”

She doesn't comment, but she's sure he can read her thoughts on her face, and she's positive they reflect the nerves fluttering in her stomach. Her cheeks are pink. It’s like she’s on fire.

He nudges the door open with his foot. They walk into a midst of cool darkness. It's amazing Killian doesn't fall over anything because she can hardly make out his face, which might be a good thing. The look in his eyes is something she’ll still see in the dead of night, when no-one else is around.

“I'll need you to turn the light on, love.”

Shaking fingers drag across the cold wall, searching for the switch. She feels nothing but the smooth plaster.

“Anytime today,” Killian warns, strained.

“What's the matter, Jones?” she asks as her fingers continue their search. “Aren't strong enough to keep going?”

“You're about to find out exactly how long I can go for, love.”

Usually any man’s flirtatious nature is enough to repulse her, but this man… She blushes in the darkness, grateful he can't see her.  Though perhaps he can feel the heat radiate from her cheeks.

Her fingertips collide with that small, little cog of plastic. She presses it in. Light pours from the bulb, a little too harsh for her liking. Killian’s too, it would seem, as he gestures towards the cog. “Dim the lights, if you would.”

She does so, twisting the cog until the outlines of the furnitures blur, and a soft light falls on them. She watches his face as he carries her over to the bed, jaw set in determination. When he catches her watching him, he offers her a smile. Small and… nervous? Killian Jones, nervous?

Gently, he lays her down on the silk bedsheets, like she's the most precious thing on the entire earth. The cold is a little shocking at first, prickling through her clothes. The bed dips as he climbs on, and braces both his arms by the side of her head. His eyes trail over her; her pale hair splayed out over the pillow like a fan, her face staring back.

She’s not sure if she's doing the right thing. This could end badly for the both of them, especially if tomorrow comes and she runs. There's a very good chance she'll run.

Yet it's been so long and Killian is so attractive and dark and damn sexy.

He nips just under her jaw in a way that makes her toes curl. His hair tickles her chin and she can't help but tangle her hands in it again. His hair is swiftly becoming an addiction for her.

“I am going to,” he murmurs, “worship you, Emma.”

Her breath hitches in her throat. “Worship?”

“I have the firm belief that a man who does not properly worship his love,” he pauses. “Isn't a man at all.”

Sweet God above, she thinks.

“Oh,” she says. And then, “When you say worship…”

“You’ll see.” His lips ghost over her collarbone, just before he moves up to look at her again. She catches his smirk through heavy lidded eyes as his fingertips trail over her body.

She writhes beneath him, unable to keep his gaze. It's too intense, a mix of passion, desire and (dare she say it) love. Though she's sure all these are emotions of the moment, they make her feel vulnerable.

Slowly, he moves so both his hands are on either side of her head again. Her shaking hands move to his shirt. She undoes the first button. And then another. Then another. All in between slow, lazy kisses. Soon she's sliding it off his shoulders. Tentatively, her fingertips brush over his skin. Along his shoulders and the muscles in his arms. Down his chest.

“Your turn,” he grazes against her ear.

She doesn't trust herself to speak, and so she sits up. He moves with her, sitting back on his heels. She moves to her knees so they're level. Cautiously, his fingertips run along the rim of her sweater, dancing along her skin. His movements slow and eventually, they stop.

“What?” She asks.

“It's nothing, love,” he says. “It's just… I've wanted to do this for a long time.” His eyes move to hers. They're sincere.

She leans forward and kisses him, softly. His palms fall flat against her skin.

“I've wanted to do this.” He kisses her again.

“You kiss me all the time.”

“Not like this.” His next kiss makes her body crumble against him. He pulls her sweater over her head and throws it into the darkness. “Not here.” He kisses her shoulder. “Or here.” He kisses her collarbone. He's slowly pushing her back onto the bed. “Or here… Or here… “ His kisses are at her abdomen now. “Or here. Or-”

She gasps.

A dark chuckle. “Here.”

Suddenly, the intimacy is all too much for her. She hadn't even let Walsh touch her like this, or kiss her like this, and they were engaged, for crying out loud! So why is she letting Killian? His slow kisses are torturous, almost too much to bear when she just wants to-

Just wants to what exactly?

Not get attached. Though she fears it might be too late.

It's bad form to make love to a woman against a wall. His words ring in her ears. Make love. He said make love. She hadn't really registered at the time (She was, and still is, unable to think clearly.) But that's what he said.

Make love is what couples do who are in love. And she's not in love. She doesn't want to make love. She wants a damn good-

“Stop,” she breathes out.

He's back over her in an instant, eyes wide and concerned. “What's wrong? Are you okay?” Guilt bubbles to the surface.

“No, no, I'm fine,” she says, a little shocked. “I just thought… maybe we could… y’know… get this show on the road?”

His brows knit together in confusion for a moment. Then realisation dawns on his face. But rather than be offended, his lips curl into a smile. “You mean…”

“Now.”

He licks his lips. Quickly, in thought, not slowly and seductive like he's done so many times before. It's like he's considering something. Perhaps, the perfect words.

He purses his lips. “Not quite yet, love.”

And then he moves back to her neck, back to kissing and trailing, drawing noises from her she didn't even know she could make.

It's too intimate. It's making her skin flush and her voice break. The kind of kissing she won't forget, that's for sure. It does nothing to help the fire within her.

She runs her hands down his body, right down to his pants. Before she can even get to his button, he's got her hands, moving them away. He pins them above her head, in an inescapable grasp.

That's what she wants. She wants demanding. She wants rough. Like so many one night stands before this, she wants to forget, without feeling too close to her partner. With Killian, she's feeling too close to him already. Her walls are (have) slipping (slipped). She's trying to build them back up brick by brick but it's hard. Especially when she is so exposed to him, and not just by lack of clothes.

He moves back to her neck again. His hands, instead of holding her roughly, slip and intertwine with hers as his lips dance across her skin. Lazy, drawn out kisses and soft gentle bites that make her eyes roll back into her head a little.

It's too… It's too...

“Not like this!” she gasps.

“Yes, like this,” he growls.

“Killian…”

He's over her again, looking into her eyes with a soft expression. “Say the word and I'll stop. We can stop right now. I won't push you. I would never push you.”

“I…”

“Do you want to stop, Emma?”

“No,” she says, without hesitation.

And they don’t stop.

[pen-masta]

Peace and Coffee Part 2

Part 2 and almost complete!

1 2 3 4(Complete)

The first video chat was extremely awkward and uncomfortable. He sat scrunched between Tina, Taylor, Haley, Mr. and Mrs. Curtis staring at the computer screen of Joy. He really wanted to be there for the first video chat since she landed in the Philippines. But he couldn’t help feel that after what had happened, it would be extremely painful and weird. So he thought he’d keep his distance and not video chat for awhile.

But Joy doesn’t get her forcefulness and determination from anybody strange. As soon as they found out their sister was going to be calling that Wednesday, her three sisters came and all but dragged Castel to the Curtis house. It was just as painful as he had imagined. A nervous smile plastered on his face and he noted the fact that Joy looked at everyone but him. She was still nice. She told them about the little village she has been stationed in, and that she was enjoying herself so far, and what they were doing for the village and so on.

The second video chat was a little less awkward considering the three sisters were back at their own homes and it was just Mr. and Mrs. Curtis…Castel didn’t go. It wasn’t just a little less awkward, it was a lot less awkward. But it killed him to not speak to her. He desperately needed to know she was okay, more importantly he wanted an opportunity tell her that he and Martha were an official thing. That she didn’t need to worry about what happened in the heat of her leaving. He’d blame it all on the fact that she was leaving, they were both very emotional and their emotions got the better of them.

He had rehearsed it over and over again. But when it came time for the video chat he couldn’t bring himself to see her—still so filled with shame. Mrs. Curtis stopped by the following Tuesday to bring his mom fresh oranges from her shop. Castel happened to sluggishly slink out of his room in search of food when she spotted him. She hugged him and told him about Joy’s last video chat and how she was doing. She didn’t fail to stress how crushed Joy was that he didn’t speak to her last week, and that Joy was hoping he’d come tomorrow to chat.

He was certain his heart would burst from all the construction. He was secretly hoping Joy hated him and he wouldn’t have to face her for a little while longer. But the truth was he was hoping, more so, that she wanted to see him. He smiled and agreed to come by for the video chat. He vowed to himself he’d hold off on the Martha bizz for a little while, he wanted to just talk to his friend that’s all. Nothing else.

After the eighth video chat the awkwardness seemed to dissipate. He’d come over in the early morning for her video chat and half of the time he’d be there with her parents. But soon they’d leave for work giving him the other half of the time to be alone with Joy. Neither of them brought up what had happened the day she shipped out. When she asked about Martha he tentatively told her he had taken her advice and took a leap. He had asked Martha out on a few dates and now they were a legitimate item.

“Oh r-really?” She stuttered a little but smiled hugely. “That’s fantastic Cassie! See I knew my hard work would pay off!” She had laughed and winked at him.

“Yeah, you were right.” He had chuckled, but he noticed there was something hidden behind her smile and in her eyes. He couldn’t make out what it was, but his gut told him it wasn’t her normal, full, overexcited Joy happiness she was known for.

Since then talking has become a lot easier. It’s been several months now since Joy left and their not-so-friendly-kiss feels so long in the past, that it’s almost completely forgotten. He and Martha had become closer the more dates they went on, and soon his fantasies of Joy were replaced with ones of his girlfriend. Feeling as though everything was falling back into a normal state he relaxed and was eagerly waiting for Wednesdays to arrive each week.

He walks into the Curtis house early one morning. It’s almost November and he’s finally got a new machine for cars on the market. Even though he knew a lot about computers he figured he’d start with something more simple than a motherboard upgrade. Cubs Industry was finally taking off and he already had several buyers! But one product wasn’t enough, so he’s been up for the past four days locked in his room trying to bang out another product.

Joy’s video chats happened so early in the morning that he’d roll out of his desk chair and drag his lifeless body over to the Curtis house for coffee. Rather than taking time to get the coffee maker going at his house and miss the small window of seeing Joy he had.

So when he walks into the house Mr. Curtis is already gone for the day and Mrs. Curtis sits at the kitchen table laughing at a computer screen. He hears another laugh and smiles as he walks further into the house. Mrs. Curtis spots him and smiles brightly.

“Cassie! Good morning love!” She laughs and wipes her eyes, “I didn’t even hear you come in dear. I was just listening to a funny story Joy was telling me about.” She grins and spins the laptop around to face Castel.

 He grins and waves at the computer screen, “Hey Jo-Jo.”

 “Sup dork-a-doo!” She articulates, grinning and waving back at him.

He shrugs and looks at the coffee pot on the kitchen counter, “Is there any—” he starts to ask but Mrs. Curtis cuts him off.

“Yes, yes help yourself dear no need to ask,” she waves dismissively.

 “Thank you,” he smiles and walks over to the coffee maker.

A beeping noise hits the air and Mrs. Curtis jumps a little. “Oh sugar!” She pouts and silences her watch, “I’ve got to go.”

She walks over to the door and takes her jacket off the rack. Pulling it on she walks over to Castel who takes a mug down from the cabinet.

“I’ve got to go love,” she says. “Help yourself to anything. You know that.”

“Yes ma’am,” he smiles and turns to her.

She looks him over and grimaces, “You’re a mess Cassie.”

He laughs, “Gosh you sound like my mom.”

“Well you are the son of my best friend,” she grins. “Therefore you are my child as well.” She shakes her head at his wrinkled, grease stained t-shirt and torn up jeans.

“I think you both just like mothering,” he teases and pours the coffee into a mug. “You look for stuff to take care of.”

She rolls her eyes, “Said just like a teenage boy.”

“Well I am one,” he says sarcastically and shrugs. He laughs when she hits his arm and she scowls jokingly.

“Watch your tone young man,” she points her finger at him. “I am your elder.”

“Yes ma’am,” he chuckles and she hugs him.

“You are the son I never had.” She sighs and pulls away. “Eat some actual food today Castel.”

“I’m fueled by caffeine,” he smiles and she shakes her head.

“There’s lunchmeat in the fridge. If I come home and find it has not been eaten, I’m coming to get you.” She threatens. “Capeesh?”

He laughs and nods, “Yes ma’am. I capeesh.”

She smiles and pats his cheek before turning to the computer screen, “Bye bye baby girl.” Mrs. Curtis says and blows a kiss at the computer screen.

“Bye Mommy!” Joy says and blows a kiss back, “Mwwaah!”

Castel smiles and turns back to the cabinet. He hears the front door shut as he reaches up trying to find the sugar cubes. He mutters when his hand comes up empty and he sighs in defeat. His stomach growls loudly and he decides to listen to the instructions of Mrs. Curtis—considering it has been almost forty-eight hours since his last actual meal. He hums ‘50 Ways to Say Goodbye’—it’s been stuck in his head for weeks—as he opens the bread box. He bobs a little as he takes the bread out and turns to the fridge. His humming turns to whistling as he takes the lunchmeat, along with some other sandwich fixings, into his arms. He kicks the fridge door closed and turns around to see Joy’s face still on the computer screen.

He stops whistling and stares at her. He had completely forgotten she was still here…well not here here but.

“Oh,” he says stupidly and she giggles a little.

 “Sorry I guess I should have said something,” she smiles knowing he had forgotten.

He smiles despite the warmth he feels spread across his face, “Ah ya think?” He chuckles and sets the food on the counter, abandoning his plan to make a sandwich. Instead he takes a seat at the table smiling at his friend on the laptop’s screen.

She giggles again, “Wow Cassie you look like an exhausted zombified mechanic! Mommy’s right you’re a hot mess dude!” She runs her hand along her jawbone, “You got a hefty beard going on there. When was the last time you showered?”

He shrugs, “I’ve been busy.” In truth he’s lost track…

“Ya nasty!” She wrinkles her nose and shakes her head. “So, what have been up to Mister Zombie Man?”

He smiles and shrugs again, “Eh new products, tinkering, gnawing on some guy’s temporal lobe. The youzhe.”

She giggles again and the beautiful ring causes his insides to flutter. Stop. Stop it. Control yourself Cubs.

“So business is good, huh?” She asks.

“Yes, yes very good.” He grins, “I’ve actually been asked to appear for a press conference Friday.” He puffs his chest and wipes his thumb across his nose, “Seeing as I’m the youngest engineer to build his own company in such a short time period.”

She narrows her eyes and smirks, “Wowie someone’s getting a little full of himself.”

“No, no.” He shakes his head, “No my dear Jo-Jo I am merely stating a fact. If I were full of myself I would have said they are calling me the Combative Clever Crafty Cub that’s taking the World by Storm.” He says in mock arrogance.

She snorts and covers her mouth as they both cackle loud with gleeful hearty laughter together. Their mirth slowly dies down and she smiles sweetly at him.

“So three months down,” he grins.

“And only a bazillion jillion million to go,” she huffs and juts her bottom lip out in a pout.

“Hey now,” he shakes his head leaning on his arms on the table. “It’s just like you said. It’ll go by fast, you’ll be back before you know it.” He smiles kindly. “And I’ll be right here waiting for ya.”

She smiles again, comforted by his words. “You better be, Casper.”

He chuckles deeply, “You have my word Jo-Jo.”

She smiles looking back at her childhood friend. His face is covered in dark brown hair; his unruly curls hang down just brushing against his eyebrows—and by the way it stands in different directions he’s just rolled out of bed. His deep chocolate colored eyes smile kindly at her, the red tint to his white sclera tells her it’s been at least four days since he’s slept. The way the light is hitting his face, makes his eyes look like more of a milk chocolaty color…a very russet brandy dandy new bright shiny penny color. She smiles a little at how the bright brown is complimented by the profoundly dark black endless pools of his pupils.

Her eyes travel down his face and for the first time she notices how chiseled his facial features are. The baby fat has completely dropped from his face and his cheek bones are very prominent now; that little scar by his left eye nearly unnoticeable behind his disheveled hair. His jawbone is cut so sharply as it leads down his neck where his very large and round Adam’s apple sits—perfectly parallel with his chin. The crisp caramel tone of his skin is all but gone now that summer is over, leaving his skin with a light tan.

She marvels at how different he looks with the curly, thick, whiskers that line his cheeks, his chin, and under his nose. Her eyes stop at his lips for a brief second. Their…good bye flashes in her head. His red round hard lips pressed so fiercely against hers. They were so strong and firm, yet they were also very soft and smooth at the same time. She wonders if that had been caused from all the years of trumpet playing. She remembers how broad his shoulders felt under her hands.

She could feel every curve of the muscles he had in his back, his chest, his sides, his strong arms locked around her. He had really honed his body over the years many summers spent mowing lawns and chopping wood with his dad. The kickboxing lessons he had started when he was thirteen, and years upon years of wrestling with his brothers all played a role in grooming his bod into what it is today. When did her dork start looking…well…hot? And why hadn’t she noticed it before? Sure, she knew boys changed in different ways than girls but…dang! The goof looking back at her was a huge chunk of sweet, sweet eye candy! Woof Cassie!

She starts to lose herself in the replay of him on top of her, the way he had growled before taking her challenge for control. The way his body moved against hers had stirred something in her. Something she’d never felt before. His voice is deep as it is—the cracking changes on every other syllable had been banished by his body years ago—but it sounded even lower in her ears as he growled in such a feral way. It caused her stomach to do summersaults.

Even now just thinking about it her belly is tightening and swirling, heart starting to beat faster at thoughts of wanting to do…whatever it was they had done…again. To have his rough cautious hands running over her. His lips devouring hers, his tongue snaking into her mouth grazing hers. His teeth biting in such an aggressive yet gentle way. His hips fitting so perfectly into hers. His deep voice growling and moaning in pleasure. His—wow hey now! Slow your roll there, girl! Back it up a little!

She takes a quick breath reminding herself, this is her best friend she’s thinking about. Her best friend who she had done something with that you don’t really do with your best friend. But batter on a corn dog! Can you blame her! The way he had followed her lips so feverishly, who wouldn’t get a little heated?

No! No, best friend here. Hi! Welcome back Joy! You don’t do, much less, think about doing things like that with you BFF! Your dude man! Your goofy cute dork-a-doo. Your sweet adorable nerd. Your really hot handsome home slice…ugh! Ok Joy we all get it! Cassie has really filled out, alright? He’s really grown into his body. He’s very much grown, it’s just a fact, just as his hair is brown. No need to make it into a big deal. Let it go girl!

She sighs a little as ‘Let It Go’ plays through her mind briefly. Best friend. Best. Friend. Cassie. Casanova. Casper. Casinator. Cassie-role. C-bear. Best friend…yeah. Best friend who has a girlfriend. Girlfriend! Cassie has Martha now! He had finally jumped! She should be proud of him. She is proud of him! Her lips quirk into a little smile at that thought.

He’s finally coming out of his shell, and now he’s got Martha. And Martha has him…she sure is one lucky duckling to have Cassie! Just wait until they start making out, wowie will she get a surprise! Under all that nerdy dorkiness is a very passionate kisser! Ha ha! Brace yourself chica!…speaking of Martha.

“Hey! How’s Martha?” She asks smiling brightly.

His eyes widen and sparkle with excitement, and if it’s at all possible his eyes get brighter in color. “She’s good. Three months as of yesterday!” He smiles like a kid in a candy shop, showing his pearly white teeth.

She smiles feeling pleased that she’s the reason for his glee about his first GF. Smiling brighter she throws her arms in the air, and says triumphantly, “I am the Master Match Maker!”

He chuckles and nods, “Indeed you are J-bird.” He tilts his head, “I don’t believe I ever thanked you for your help.”

“No you haven’t Sir,” she huffs playfully and rolls her eyes. “Rude!”

“Forgive me Master Match Maker!” He grins, “What do I owe you for your services?”

“Hmmmm,” she hums and taps her chin. “Dinner.”

“Dinner?” He raises a brow.

“Dinner sounds fantastic Cassie!” She says her eyes widening, “How thoughtful of you Casanova!”

He laughs and shakes his head, “Ah you know me.”

“This is a very true fact,” she nods. “You pick and we’ll go when I get back, ‘kay?”

“Only if I can throw in some ski ball.” He smirks and she giggles.

She sighs dramatically, “I suppose I’ll allow it.” She sticks her tongue out at him and he chuckles.  

“Sounds good.” He smiles, “Enough about me. How are you Jo-Jo?”

“I’m good Cassie-role,” she grins brightly. To the untrained ear she does sounds good. She sounds fine. But his ears are skilled. He hears the catch in her voice, it’s very slight ever so slight. Joy is a master at hiding her emotions—more so than he is.

His bright smile falls into a concerned grin, “What’s wrong Joy?” He asks without hesitation.

Her smile falters majorly but she manages holds her lips up, “What? Nothing! I’m as dandy as candy!” She laughs and closes her eyes for a moment, “Mmmmm candy!” She hums thinking fondly of strawberry liquorish, butterscotch hard candies, and caramel squares—her three favorite candies that they did not have in the Philippines. He grimaces a little—she only ever used that saying when she was trying to not only convince you but herself as well. Not good. It must be bad.

“Joy,” he says gently. “What’s eatin’ you?”

She looks a little shaken that he’s caught her and her eyes dart down away from his face. She chews her bottom lip and shrugs, “It’s nothing really. I’m really enjoying it here, I am. I know what we’re doing here, and I really like knowing that I’m helping. Doing my part, you know?” She looks up at him again.

“But?” He questions.

She pauses and bites her bottom lip again, “But…I’m not with my host family anymore. And it’s difficult not really knowing anyone. I was just starting to know my host family, too. And…it’s really lonely here.” She looks down again, “The day is fine. During the day I’m busy, so my thoughts are busy but at night…” she looks at him and his heart stops at the look in her eyes.

It’s a mixture of sadness, longing, desperation, and a searing crave. His lips fall into a flat line as his heart rate speeds back to life at such a fast pace that his hands start to shake. He’s never—in all the years of knowing her—he’s never seen that look. His brain catches fire trying to make sense of the look. There’s so much emotion in this one look. So many different sensations jutting in different directions, that for the first time in his life…he can’t read how she’s feeling.

“It gets…really, really, really lonely at night.” She says slowly at the volume of a whisper.

He swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing fiercely. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

They haven’t talked about it. And part of her doesn’t want to bring it up. Ever. But the other, much large part, is pleading to bring it up. It’s been three months for ding dang sake! And it’s still haunting her! She hasn’t had a full nights sleep since the cataclysmic event! She needs to bring it up. She needs to talk about it. Just to get some kind of release! Trying to repress the whole thing it…it isn’t healthy! They need to talk. That’s what they’ve always done when something was bothering them, they talked it out. Although this is a different kind of bother…but a bother nonetheless! And she can’t take it anymore! Acting like it didn’t happen. She needs to say something. For the sake of her sanity! For the sake of her sleep! For the sake of…their friendship!

She breaths out deeply before her caramel…almost golden eyes look back at him.

“Castel.” She says.

No. He thinks as he starts to hear sirens ring in his head, No! No, no, no, no! Don’t do this! No, don’t wake this Joy! Not now! It’s going okay! Please, I beg you! Not yet! Not like this! Mercy! Please!!!!!

“Yes?” He squeaks out, his vocal chords betraying him causing his voice to crack in a way it hasn’t since he was twelve.

She stares at him in silence a new emotion coming into her eyes—fear. She clears her throat, her cheeks reddening. “Cassie. I…I need to…can we…you don’t…” she huffs in frustration trying her hardest to gather her thought.

Form words into sentences Joy. She tells herself in her head. She closes her eyes again, Breath. Just breath. You can do this. It’s Cassie. It’s just Cassie. You can do this…do it fast. Like ripping off a band-aid…yeah just like a band-aid…do it. Do. It.…Do it now!

Her eyes snap back open staring at his deep chocolate worried eyes. She opens her mouth ready to spew out what has been eating her for these long, painful three months. He sits there, heart pounding blood into his ears, his knuckles white as the clutch the edge of his seat. He’s biting the inside of his cheek to keep from screaming, trying his hardest to brace himself for the worst.

But then her eyes flicker to something off the screen. Her face falls immediately, her eyes close, her eyebrows scrunch and she sighs, “Oh, crap on a cracker! My time is up!” She opens her eyes again, “I’ve got to go Cassie. I’ll call again next week, alright?”

“Alright,” he nods and the sirens stopping.

“Love you!” She rushes to say before the screen goes black.

He sits there staring at the now black screen. Carefully he eases his ghost white fingers open to release the chair. Slowly opening and closing his hands to get blood pumping back through them, he sits there haunted by what just happened. He knew she was going to talk about it…but what was she going to say exactly? He was preparing for the end of his world, but was she really going to say something so catastrophically earth shaking? Was he overthinking this? She had kissed him back after all, could she really be that appalled?

Was she even appalled at all? They never talked about it so he has no way of knowing how she really felt. All he has is his assumptions…but that look of horror! He’s revolted by himself. How could he do that to his best friend! Who does that? No, there’s no way she’s not upset about what happened. There’s no way she feels the same as he does, whatever she was going to say it wasn’t going to be good.

What was he hoping for? That she’d say she liked it? That she’d say that she loved him…in a more intimate way than just friends? That she had been replaying it in her head, wanting to be in the moment again? Pa-lease Cassie! Get real man! Wake up and stop daydreaming! The reality is she is your best friend. Your best friend who you did something with that you should NEVER do with your best friend. And now you’ve terrified her! The only way to fix this is to not give it any attention. Don’t bring it up. Don’t think about it. Distractions. Work. Business. Tinkering. Family. Martha.

He sits there for what feels like years before he breaths out, “Love you too.”