#it colors how i view her so strongly that I can't really imagine her NOT being autistic

[nyaagolor]

Something that really gets me about Nemona is that despite having the social awareness of a brick wall, there are a few cases where you can see her have a complete demeanor flip if you respond negatively to her questions and I am SO interested in those. Her eyebrows furrow, she brings her hand closer to her face like she's visibly curling up, and she looks genuinely concerned-- whether ur saying you want to rain check a battle or you don't want to be her friend. It's such an extreme reaction to ultimately trivial things, but in combination with her railroading you / being her overzealous self and the way she panics about coming off too strong, it just gives me pause

I'm probably overthinking this, but those strong reactions remind of kids who were told they're Too Much by the adults in their lives and then get stuck in a push-pull of doing what comes naturally to them but also trying to be cognizant of when they're being Too Much as they struggle to grapple with social cues. Nemona only ever seeming to realize when she's crossed a line after someone tells her that explicitly or responds badly to her just gives me such confused neurodivergent teenager vibes, it is driving me insane. She acknowledges her emotional distance from other students and worries out loud to the player about Coming Off Too Strong in their first meeting, but doesn't seem to connect those ideas with any specific behavior she's doing, and the entire thing is just setting "autistic high school sophomore" alarms off in my brain

It really feels to me like a case of someone who has internalized the understanding that they're too overwhelming for others after having been told it countless times, but doesn't understand WHY; just stuck in this loop of getting negative reactions and desperately trying to work backwards from there to figure out what about them and their behavior is scaring people off. She immediately goes from this boundless confidence to insecurity (shown via pose or dialogue) the literal second she's faced with a "no" and it really makes me think it's because she's terrified of losing you as a friend and sees ur negative reactions as a precursor to that. In the absence of an actual understanding of how her own actions drive people away she's stuck relying on your reactions, and something like a simple "no" reads as a red flag that she may have crossed some invisible line that everyone else but her seems to see. (slaps her forehead) u can fit so much autism in here