#it always sucks and knowing that theres a lot of people whose first fandom is mcyt/dsmp

[llitchilitchi]

My heart kinda sinks whenever I see people that have left the fandom. I'm trying to convince myself it's ok but i can't shake the feeling for some reason 😭

about ten years ago I was really into this artist that was in my first truly big fandom that I was active in. she left pretty much overnight due to the stress that being a big artist in a fandom brought her. she deleted her fandom art blog and I stuck around on her main. a lot of other artists I adored followed, over the next year or so. seeing them post new stuff, their new fandoms or their own OCs, always made me happy, though there was always that residual heartbreak whenever they'd draw a character that resembled a character from the big fandom I mentioned, and there was a bitter aftertaste whenever they'd mention said fandom. I left the fandom in about 2015 myself. I still follow the artists here or on twitter, still sometimes think back to their fanart for the fandom that once brought us joy. it's a little easier and there's a lot less bitterness when I look back at their fanart from those times

you'll get used to it with time anonnie, it's just how things go with fandoms. it's sad but I'd rather people leave than hang onto the fandom and turn sour towards something that once brought them joy and make the fandom spaces more toxic

[steponmepinkjun]

the muriel size kink shit had always made smut of him really unappealing to me. Like not even just smut at times but theres fluff that describes the size difference in weird ways and its just.. okay? he's large? we know? not everything has to be able how BIG he is. His character is much more than just being huge. Idk I'm ranting he's my favorite and it just sucks that a lot of the content about him makes him out to be this timid child who can't do anything and must be protected at all costs or just a fucking giant.

There's just a weird and frustrating disconnect between what size kink actually is, and what Muri mains think it is.

First of all, the man is canonically huge asf. The average height for women on planet earth is only 5'3" (HAHA YALL SHORTIES, 5'8" GANG GANG) and the average height for men is 5'7". He's more than a full foot taller than both of these, so of course his height and general size are going to play a huge role in how he is perceived by characters interacting with him in most all cases.

But just because someone is tall or wide doesn't make it size kink. Forgive me for being VERY crass and explicit here, but a fic where someone has two fingers in someone's hole doesn't constitute a warning for fisting porn. Having a tall motherfucker like Muriel partake in sexytimes does not automatically make it size kink—intention and focus matters, and if the intention and focus isn't on wanting to fuck someone primarily/explicitly for their size, or—in simpler terms—if you aren't fucking them because of their height/weight/cock size/etc rather than who they are or how you feel about them, it isn't fucking size kink! You just happen to want to fuck someone whose body is larger than yours! The way the fandom throws around the term "size kink," most smut that features Portia being chubby should have to be labeled size kink as well.

There's just a fuckin disconnect. Not every sexual encounter is full of kinks and fetishes. Not every sexual preference is a kink, not every single attribute a person enjoys is a kink. But labelling anything outside of strict white-on-white married man-and-woman missionary position penis-in-vagina penetrative sex as being a kink muddies the waters, imparts shame on people either intentionally or unintentionally, and is plainly quite stupid. Sexual desire, fantasy, and pleasure are not zero-sum games of "this is Normal, and everything outside this is Kink/Fetish." I suppose that's the issue I have. Not every sexual scene outside of missionary p-in-v needs a kink/fetish label. It's fucking puritanical.

Yeah, if you fuck someone twice your size, there's gonna be some stark contrasts between your anatomy. That doesn't make it kink. And furthermore, it's actually the readers job to police what they consume, not the authors job to hold their hand and only show them content they might individually find validating or enjoyable. If I write something that someone labels kink, but I don't see as being even kink-adjacent, it's their job to divert their attention, not my job to accommodate their opinion. Curate your own internet experience, people.