#it also has some really incredible and really effective storytelling that just fucking kicks me in the gut every time

[canmom]

brief comints on some comics

need to find energy to write some more Comics Comints but here are some very brief ones on some comics I read of late...

I read a bunch of Shintaro Kago stuff (The Princess of the Neverending Castle, Dementia 21). truly one of the best to ever do it, and I really need to do some kinda deep dive into what makes his stuff kick so much ass. but Kago's stuff has this absolutely ingenious playfulness to it - obvs it's got the 'fucked up body stuff' ero-guro aspect as a central pillar in which Shintaro Kago is uniquely inventive, but it's also constantly playing around with form in a way that like, you see the ideas getting developed from page to page from 'oh here's a fucked up thing' to the basis of an incredibly abstruse storyline that somehow feels fully coherent in its internal logic, even as the entire panel structure disintegrates into castle noodles.

he's also just both plain very funny and an absolute drawing monster. the two Neverending Castle books (Princess and Twelve Sisters - narratively disconnected but playing off the same ideas) are a special treat, gorgeous huge printings that really let you see all the crazy intricate little details, and the high concept is incredibly productive. Dementia 21 is bit more directly like... not so much commentary so much as using existing social tensions (in this case, caring for old people) as a jumping off point for darkly funny vignettes. also the interview at the back is great for Kago just completely no-selling most of the interviewer's attempts to pry.

started in on Oyasumi Punpun by Inio Asano. and guys. the expressions in this manga! honestly, the level of storytelling confidence is off the charts. I think I'm starting to get some idea of what it's doing and what the recurring interests are, but also damn, there is so much going on here. the manner of stylisation is really fascinating - it's like a great example of a sort of effect you can achieve if you understand realism forwards and backwards and then push it.

the eponymous punpun is heavily minimised in his own story - which is part of the premise, that he is so powerless and so completely failed by the adults who are too caught up in their own shit that he might as well be a cartoon bird. we have recurring invocations of the futility of human connection, it's doing a lot of stuff with religion-as-imaginary-friend and mixing sort of deliberately crude 2D graphical elements or really abstract compositions with the hyper detailed style. it's somehow like... moment to moment it looks super melodramatic but it's sort of processed through this dissociative haze which means the actual story ends up quite low-key.

I can see why people rate this one so highly, can't wait to get my hands on more.

I read some of the Sláine series - the Celtic barbarian character written by Pat Mills. in this case I had the Sláine the King arc, and some of the earlier comics, so I got a taste for the druid airships and stuff. Glenn Fabry's art is astonishing, it's as solid as an Otomo drawing but it doesn't feel sterile, it's got this incredibly expressive aspect, like it does so much to sell our sword-and-sorcery protagonist Sláine as a guy.

I'm someone who tends to read a lot more manga than Western comics in general, which is both a different approach to line and tone and also you tend to have the same artist drawing the whole series - in contrast, with 2000AD comic like this it's really striking seeing both how much value can be achieved with pure monotone, no greys, and also getting to see multiple artists tackle the same character in roughly the same idiom to highly varying results. there are approximately ten billion of these, but I haven't yet been able to track down the Horned God arc which is the one that was recced to me. hopefully soon.

comics are great

[coweggomelet]

it’s happening

i was warned. i kept trying to predict what was gonna happen and my friend was like “you’re never gonna get it” and she was right i didn't cause this shit blew me away

some of it i think i could’ve seen coming, especially when the staff of creation guy was like “hey... don't fall into the void” i think it’s pretty obvious that people were gonna fall in but the whole penny jaune thing... that punched me in the gut

aaaanyywaaayyy

volume 8, the one that made me cry a little and left me in despaired silence for like twenty minutes

- the very first episode is called ‘divide’ so

- sets the tone right away

- oh god the opening jesus christ the brushing going into the nails scratching that quite literally made me cringe both times

- neo’s like… wait a second this looks bad

- that “my queen” was so poisonous

- cinder, taking credit for your allies’ work isn’t gonna go well for you

- see this is where salem’s manipulation starts to wane, like cinder here is clearly angry about how dismissive and controlling salem is and wants to get her revenge but salem won’t let her, so she’s starting to go “hey wait”

- have i mentioned i love the happy huntresses

- this volume happens over like a day which is wild

- yang please do not question ruby’s leadership, none of this is her fault. i understand your fear though

- jaune you really are so smart and empathetic like if that fight had continued it could’ve gotten worse and you saw that and stepped in and helped make a compromise and that’s why you’re a good leader

- aaaand there’s the murdering political dissenters in cold blood

- what happened to your heart tin man

- even the ace ops were like “…jesus”

- oh god the fuckin dog grimm thing

- in the FIRST EPISODE ironwood MURDERS a CIVILIAN because he will do “whatever it takes to protect atlas… no matter the cost” and APPARENTLY a justifiable cost is the DEATH OF INNOCENT PEOPLE

- oh hey new theme cool

- casey you’re the best

- ya shit’s gonna dissolve around you ironwood just wait

- joanna you are amazing i will die for you she said “i can do this better than you newsboy”

- uh oh Special grimm is watching them

- oooo his lil shield grenade that’s so cool!!

- “i really don’t need your extra commentary right now” me at my friend while watching this

- oscar you sweet boy. you are part of the team i promise

- “i do not like it when friends fight” me neither penny

- also around now is when i realized that penny doesn’t really use contractions? which is definitely an autistic-coded thing. i have a whole thing about penny being autistic-coded

- heheh yoink

- jaune you’re so clumsy i love you

- OKAY SO the special grimm freaked me out so goddamn much the first time and it was because of several things building up

- #1: grimm do not run away. several grimm just ran away

- #2: it changed. grimm don’t change

- #3: it was smart. it knew to use oscar as a shield to protect itself. and as jaune says, “grimm aren’t that smart!”

- and number fuckin four: it talked. that shit rattled me to my core more than ANY other piece of media has in my memory. i’m getting goosebumps right now, again, because of how effective this sequence is. not only is it supremely unsettling, it’s very well done

- truly this talking person grimm is one of the best things about this show cause it’s an example of how the show breaks it’s own rules but in really effective and interesting ways��and i looooove it

- quick note it broke his aura in two hits and sure he’d taken some hits before that probably but fuckin still

- and the wings beating echoing aaaahhhh FUCK i love this shooowwww

- the line “maybe the end we tried to avoid is already here” from the theme is so uuughhh it’s so gooooood

- this plan is so fun i love a stealth mission

- hahahaa nora pressing all the buttons marry me

- blake going “did penny figure out more about your semblance before you did” and then ruby going “yeah of course she’s smart and im a dummy” amazing 10/10

- isn’t it just so fun when your dad pilots your body for a few minutes

- you always need a quick break for teen drama folks

- oooof that’s quite a heavy thing to realize nora

- uh ohhhh the ace ops are back and team rwby isn’t together for this one

- STOP MANIPULATING MY GIRL YOU ASSHOLES

- penny said not my girlfriend

- these fucking COWARDS separated penny to take her out more easily but they didn’t account for NORA “BE STRONG AND HITS STUFF” VALKYRIE DID THEY??? no they fuckin didn’t

- penny said i’m gonna be on theme and make it haaaiill babey

- listen marrow’s semblance is very annoying when they’re fighting him but damn is it a good one

- noraaaa my love you’re so strong and brave and wonderful. that was pretty awesome and it also for sure fucked you up. those scars are gonna be cool tho

- harriet breaking the string on one of penny’s swords has so much symbolism

- *pats the screencap* you can fit so much symbolism in this bad boy

- huuuuggggsss i love nuts & dolts

- awww robyn you’re funny. you absolutely did win

- “i thought for once i could be around somebody without my semblance making it complicated” yeah :(

- he’s mourning the loss of the potential for a real friendship

- it wasn’t childish!! aww qrow this poor man needs friends that aren’t his nieces and their friends. i’m so glad robyn is there and is nice and befriends him

- fuck yeah robyn taunt this bitch

- my friend saw a post that talks about the cinnamon tography of this shot, with them divided by the one big line in the middle. watts is already waaaayy off to the side and harriet’s walking towards that side. robyn’s way on the other side and qrow’s on that side too, but marrow, he’s on robyn & qrow’s side, just barely, and he’s facing them

- hmmm food for thought

- go get your boy!!!

- uh oh swinging ren off a line behind the flying dude is a recipe for danger friends

- ouch ouch ouch ouch

- it sure did call for backup yang

- oh ren you’re so out of your depth and i know you’re scared it’s okay to be scared

- yang he’s scared you’re gonna push him away if you say that stuff

- oh god he’s here he’s with salem oh boy

- eurgh she gave the hound scritches

- fuck his screaming

- fuck yooouuuuu salem fuck youu

- jesus christ i forgot about this hazel fucking TORTURES A CHILD WHAT THE FUCK

- how do you feel about that morally hazel?

- saaaalemmm you’re losing your control on cinder

- every time cinder says “without you i am nothing” she believes it less and less

- heheh evil mary poppins?

- emerald my baby i love you i can’t wait til you get good friends and stop relying so much on cinder

- god these kids are so emo

- watch out y’all the grimm juice is a river now

- you know if cinder had listened to salem it would’ve been much easier for penny & the gang to get amity up

- fuck yeah maria!!! grandma powers activated!!

- uh oh neo that’s the grimm reaper

- GET HER MARIAAAAA

- penny you are simply the best

- this is the most i’ve ever seen neo get hit

- heheh emerald’s semblance doesn’t affect heat sensing penny can see her

- emerald i know it’s trauma that you’re relying on her but you deserve so much better

- fuuuck pietro loves her so goddamn much he just wants her to live and she does but he has to keep watching her risk her life for it and it’s heartbreaking i’m gonna crryyyy

- penny you’re so strong!!!

- aahhhh the broadcast oh fuck

- awww adrian bb so cute he’s like “oh hey i know her”

- awww ruby’s lil face watching her own broadcast

- she’s just so hopeful and earnest and eager and that is so incredibly valuable and powerful and i’m emotionaaaalll

- awwww penny my babyyy

- awww taaiii oh god that’s the only time he’s seen either of his kids in months jesus he just wanted to see herrr

- “dad!!” oh fuck “please baby say something” fuuucck “…i love you” oh nooooo i’m gonna cryyy

- you really thought you could trust this man ironwood? you really thought you could get him to do exclusively what you wanted and not do some fuckery??

- ya babeeyyy its the river grimm

- oh fuck it’s the Backstory

- such a cute kid

- she just wants to eat :(

- guess what kids that’s called Abuse

- jesus the shock caller is so fucking brutal

- “without you i am nothing” sounds familiar huh

- “not getting the most fair treatment” is the UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY

- she’s just a baby :(

- also shoutout to cinder’s voice actress for nailing this

- for YEARS rhodes watched cinder get abused in so many different ways. for YEARS he kept seeing her after getting shocked or starved and kept LEAVING HER THERE, WITH HER ABUSERS. for YEARS she got a couple hours every once in a while of respite, of a glimpse of freedom. and FOR FUCKING YEARS she had to watch him get to leave. i do not understand how, in anyone’s mind, leaving someone with their abusers is the right call. and then, after she stood up to them, finally got a chance to actually fight back, he turns his back on her. he decides that the right call is to kill a child that just defended herself against her abusers. this backstory makes me so mad and so sad at the same time. cinder should’ve gotten so much fucking better than this

- “i won’t have to run now” jesus. fucking christ. this child. she won’t have to run anymore. she won’t have to suffer anymore. she’s fucking free. and then the only adult in her life she’s ever trusted fucking betrays her

- go die rhodes

- mercury just shut up

- yeah cinder!!! you’re losing your manipulation too!!

- oscar you’re so smaaaarttt

- cinder was this close to realizing what salem was doing, she was so fucking close/to seeing the repetition, to understanding that salem has the same role in her life that her “stepmother” did and then salem said oopsie i’ve been slacking on the manipulation front better get that going again

- uh oh grimm juice is eating through the atlas shields!!! uh ohhhhh uh ohhhhhhhh

- here we go babey!!! it’s the big time!! shit’s ramping up!! better get ready

- y’all can gather your military all you want, there’s wave after wave of grimm comin for ya

- grimm are such a non threat in atlas that there are zero precautions. no alarms, no shelters. nothin

- he’s sending them into a suuuiiiciiiideee mission :)))))))) what a goooooood boss what a good good boss

- emerald is not on board with this shit. she just wanted to do some fun crime with her mommy girlfriend. she did not sign up for big bad lady with grimm controlling powers and torturing children and ending the world and having serial killers as coworkers. hostile work environment. no thank you. salem inc (& associates?) is gonna get some negative feedback on linkedin. would not recommend

- emerald said gotta get the kid first. and she’s right

- norraaaaaa you’re good for being a friend!!

- even in the middle of a world ending battle you gotta have a hot cocoa break

- maaayyyy i love you so much you stand your fuckin ground against assholes!!

- oscar my boy hope is so powerful

- mercury might be doubting too now uh oh

- reeeennn my boy fuck yeah he’s your fuckin friend who cares if it’s dangerous you care about him

- caring about people does not equal naive, harriet

- oh yeah tortuga… god that makes harriet’s whole deal so much sadder. her partner died. she lost her partner to the ace ops, to ironwood. if she doesn’t believe in them anymore then tortuga died in vain

- NO ONE IS REPLACECABLE RENNN I LOVE YOUUUU you’re learning so much look at you developing your semblance!!!

- god i love the way his semblance evolved it’s so good and perfect for not only what his whole deal already is but also his arc, like him coming to terms with his feelings and his care for people GOD i love this show

- “i outrank you” GET HER WINTER

- i’m so curious about what all the colors meeeaann. i mean we know some of it but i wanna know the details and nuances and how ren can tell how they’re feeling about certain things

- oh god winter you need a therapist that’s a lot of colors

- KLEIN DAD!!!! i love him 

- whitleeeyyyyyy my boyyyy

- aahhhh healing is happening i’m so happpyyy

- OH FUCK PENNY JUST CRASH LANDED

- klein you’re such a good doctor

- everything is so bad

- hiiiii willooowww

- whitley!! you’re helping!! you’re coming up with ideas! you’re letting yourself care about people!! i’m so proud of you!!!

- oh shit the hound’s coming back isn’t it

- at the beginning of this episode my friend went “ready for more horror” and i said “AGAIN?!?”

- hey guess what i love my girls. i love how much they love each other and respect each other and caaaarrreee

- good lord blake’s ears going down and her eyes going wide is terrifying on its own and then the fucking silhouette no THANK you

- it’s not just a grimm blake

- eurgh i hate when it talks

- oh willow you poor thing

- aaaaggghh penny’s eyeeeesss i hate this

- eurgh the big ol worm dude

- nooorrrraaaa you’re gonna make me cry i love you sooo much you’re so wonderful

- aaagghh i hate the way the hound moooves

- oh willow you can do this i believe in you

- ohhhh FUCK NO it can open DOORS that’s a BIG OL NO FROM ME

- whitley you’re gonna be okay your sister’s gonna keep you safe

- aaaaahhhh i HATE WHEN IT TALKS

- OH FUCK YEAH I FORGOT WILLOW CAN FUCKING SUMMON!!! SHE WAS A HUNTRESS AT ONE POINT

- give us the willow backstory cowards

- aaahhh the shoulder touch i love when a family heals together

- okay blake she doesn’t need to hear that people need her that’s a lot of pressure that she doesn’t need when she’s already got a lot on her

- it grows extra shiiittt this thing should not exiiiist

- ITS A FUCKIN PERSON WITH SILVER FUCKIN EYES I HATE IT SALEM IS SO GODDAMN EVIL THAT POOR MAN

- god the implications

- did summer die because salem tried to do the same experiment on her but failed? does the experiment require someone with silver eyes or does that just make it easier? is it a natural progression for someone with silver eyes or do they just have a special thing that allows experiments like this to succeed? so many questions!! truly one of the most horrifying things in this show!! aahh!!!

- have i mentioned i love willow and whitley

- hehe cinder can just fireman carry watts

- we love character development in the form of evolving superpowers!!

- “… okay! that’s new” i love that this amazing thing is happening with ren’s semblance evolving and yang’s just gotta take it in stride

- ya know… oz has made a lot of mistakes. but he’s very good at being supportive and he’s pretty emotionally intelligent, it seems like

- oh yeah put CHILDREN on the FRONT LINES of a WAR that’s a GREAT IDEA

- oh hazel. if only you’d realized sooner than children shouldn’t be involved in this shit and getting them far away was what you should’ve done fucking ages ago

- uuuhhh ooohhhh someone was watchingggg

- ive seen this ad so many times that i’m starting to regret getting vaccinated. is there anyone who can unvaccinate me please. maybe get some leeches

- oh shit ren coming in with that emotional intelligence and insight!!

- knowing that he’s actually oscar is so fun cause once you know it’s obvious

- also emerald’s so powerful!! her semblance can fool salem!!

- oh marroooowwww

- winter…. ugh cmon man please

- oh fuck here we goooooo

- eurgh god her body just exploding and then reforming i hate iiiiit

- i love all the memes of salem holding emerald and yang by the wrists like that. when you and your sibling are fighting at the grocery store and mom has to separate you

- hazel pulling out all the stops for these kids… man people sacrificing themselves in order to save other people or give them more time or whatever always fuckin gets me, especially if the person sacrificing themselves has recently had a change of heart or character growth or something

- FUCK YEAH QROW

- oh yeah the fuckin explosion!! everyone everywhere just fuckin freezes

- good job oscar my boy

- awww marrow he’s so worried about those fuckin kids

- you know watts, you’re real brave for shit talking her while she’s got you dangled over the side of a building

- it worked though. he’s smart

- hahaaa he said “phew”

- “we can’t let all our actions stem from fear” someone’s leaaaarning

- let’s threaten the lives of children to get what we want. greeeeaaat idea

- SNITCHES GET STICHES HARRIET

- tantrum time!!!

- this pisses me off so fucking muuuuchh!! these kids found a way to save people!!! to save lives!! and what does ironwood do? HE STOPS THEM FROM SAVING LIVES. IN WHAT WORLD IN WHAT FUCKING WORLD IS THAT GOOD????

- aawww reunion

- oh come on don’t do a forehead touch you gay people

- uh oh dramatic lighting talk about Full Villain

- hey ironwood

- hey buddy

- you are evil my guy

- pure evil

- threatening the lives of how many people just to get your way

- there is no justification for that. none.

- “push the kids to see reason” yeah okay vine that’s a great line of logic there

- OOOO GET THEM MARROOOOWWWW

- nice move winter i’m so proud of you

- heheheee jaune finally realizing he’s a third wheel

- aawwww this is so cute!!! god i love ren and noraaa. fuck dude. fuck. so mature. so open and honest and communicative and respectful

- AHHH he booped her i can’t i can’t

- aaaahhhh fuckin nuts & dolts man they have my heart

- heheh “i’m just gonna be super pissed if you all decide to give up the moment i switch sides” emerald i love you

- oooo here we go with another genius ruby idea

- winter you are so smart for keeping yourself on ironwood’s side until the exact right moment

- ooohhooohooooo emerald what a line and the KICK oh fuck yeah and fuckin took his weapon aahhhh i love herrrr

- i think this was about when i was like this is going too well for them. they’re figuring too many things out. they’re coming up with too many solutions. no way this lasts. like i was happy that it was going well but i was also so fucking anxious cause i knew it was going too well and i fucking knew shit was gonna go sideways

- winter betrayed you you bitch!!!!

- YEEEAAHH MARROW’S HERE YALLL

- dude they broke his aura SO FUCKING FAST i love these people

- RUBY’S SO SMART

- oooooo here we gooooo

- SHES A REAL GIRL NOWWWW MY HEART

- AHHH “do hugs always make you feel this warm inside?” “yes” “wooooooww” pennyyyyy i would fucking die for you

- SUCH A GOOD PLAN I LOVE IT

- except “one way ticket to vacuo” is such a heartbreaking line now

- do not fall so dark dude

- second to last episode babeeyyy heh heh i’m tooootally ready this is where it aaall goes to shit yaaayy

- fiooonnaaa you’re so cute

- gooooddd they can’t go back!! it fuckin hurts knowing that!!

- there she is. gotta fuckin ruin everything

- someone’s learned from the salem school of manipulation

- jinn doesn’t wanna tell cinder :( she likes ruby!

- hahaaaa bitch emerald switched sides that’s right you asshole

- jesus the smash cut in the control room. screaming starting to the room on fire and full of dead people

- HA YOU BITCH YOURE IN PRISON YOU DESERVE IT YOU ASSHOLE

- listen. i hate ironwood. but i’m so glad he killed jacque

- OH FUCK NO SHES ABOUT TO FALL OH FUCK

- jesus christ

- god blake is already running

- they slow this down but oh my god it happens so fast

- it just fuckin missed her FUUUUCKKK

- fuck that scream

- weiss is having to pull blake back from the side because she’s trying to go over with yang i’m gonna cry i’m gonna fucking lose it

- ooo weiss is skating that’s fun

- god this is so fucking bad jesus fucking christ

- oh harriet. look around you. principle? loyalty? what does any of that matter right now?

- FUCK YEAH ROBYN

- HARRIET YOU BITCH

- winter you’re fucking incredible!!!!

- FUCK THEY CANT GO BACK AND THERES SO MANY GRIMM JESUS CHRIIIIIST

- last episode :))))) yay :))))))

- come on winter get his ass

- “i want it all” sharpay???

- and yang is in the fuckin voiiiiddd god i’m so sad

- “because you’re our friend!!” fuck dude why do you have to do this to me

- i knew it was gonna be bad when i first watched this. i knew it was all too good to be true. and all my friend said was “just watch”

- it breaks my heart that when they all finally admit to themselves and each other that they care about each other, clover’s already dead and vine decides to sacrifice himself. like if they’d admitted it sooner their growth would’ve happened sooner. and i get that that’s the point but. fuckin heartbreaking

- “i can, if it means saving all my friends” i’m crying

- harriet’s scream fucking christ

- vine is so good man look at what he did

- SELF SACRIFICE BABEY IT GETS ME EVERY TIME

- there go ruby and blake!!!!! i’m in hell!!!

- there’s so many if onlys. if only weiss hadn’t said “one way” they all could’ve gone back through and fought cinder and neo and team rwby and jaune would potentially not have fallen and penny would’ve known to go help with the storm. if only neo had realized that cinder was never on her side then she would’ve kept the lamp and cinder wouldn’t have discovered team rwby’s plan. if only man

- oh goood i forgot weiss got blake’s weapon FUCK

- cinder what the fuck my dude. your arm does all that weird shit because salem’s back and you’re like yeah following her is a good move for me. fuckin dark mark death eater coward

- penny has flesh now. she can bleed

- oh fuck. no. not this. i can’t fucking do this

- the first real choice penny gets to make for herself is still very much a forced choice. like she has to in order to help her friends

- oh god. oh fuck.

- when people kept fighting with broken auras man. kills me

- god his scream

- her lil feet rocking shes so wholesome

- “salutations!!!” i’m fucking crying

- “oh penny” me too winter. me too

- WINTER IS THE WINTER MAIDEN BABEYYY

- and jaune is fucking crying. and cinder broke his sword. specifically she broke off the part with most of penny’s blood on it. and that’s some kind of symbolism or something but i have no idea what

- there goes weissssss!! all of team rwby is gone!!! hahaha. hahaha. hahaha.

- and now jaune. i still don’t understand why winter didn’t grab him and fly with him. maybe she just didn’t think about it? idk but i’m sad :)

- kill watts harder machine babey

- listen. i know that watts isn’t strong and he’s trapped in a room with a lot of fire. and i know that the likelihood of ironwood surviving atlas crashing into the crater is very low. but i have watched too much media to trust that shit. if we don’t see a body we don’t know for sure that they’re dead and even then there’s still a possibility they come back so. i’m suspicious

- and qrow’s fuckin face when he’s not hearing from ruby or yang fuck dude

- hey at least they’ll all be together in the void! :))))))

[brawltogethernow]

So, I don't think I've ever asked you this... what IS the whole point of the Spider-Sense? It really seems like something that only exists for writers to ignore or work around when they want to inject Legit Tension into a story.

I’ve thought about this power so much, but never with an eye to defend its right to exist, so I needed to think about this. The results could be more concise.

Ironically, given the question, I have to say its main purpose is to ramp up tension. But it’s also a highly variable multitool that a skilled creative team can use for...pretty much anything. It does everything the writer wants it to, while for its wielder always falls just short of doing enough.

I went looking through my photos for a really generic, classic-looking example to use as an image to head this topic, but then I ran into the time Peter absolutely did not reimburse this man for his stolen McDonald’s, so have that instead.

A Scare Chord, But You Can Draw It

That one post that says the spider-sense is just super-anxiety isn’t, like, wrong. It’s a very anxious, dramatic storytelling tool originally designed for a very anxious, dramatic protagonist. I find it speaks to the overall tone of the franchise that some characters are functionally psychics, but with a psychic ability that only points out problems.

Spidey sense pinging? There’s danger, be stressed! Broken? Now the lead won’t even KNOW when there’s a problem, scary! Single character is immune to it? That’s an invisible knife in the dark oh my god what the fuck what the fU--

Like its counterpart in garden variety anxiety, the only time the spider-sense reduces tension is in the middle of a crisis. But in the wish fulfillmenty way that you want in an adventure story to justify exaggerated action sequences, the same way enhanced strength or durability does. Also like those, it would theoretically make someone much safer to have it, but it exists in the story to let your character navigate into and weather more dangerous situations.

For its basic role in a story, a danger sense is a snappy way to rile up both the reader and the protagonist that doesn’t offer much information beyond that it’s time to sit smart because shit is about to go down.

Spidey comic canon is all over the board in quality and genre, and it started needing to subvert its formulas before the creators got a handle on what those formulas even were, and basically no one has read anything approaching most of it at this point, so for consistent examples of a really bare bones use of this power in storytelling, I’d point to the property that’s done the best job yet of boiling down the mechanics of Spider-Man to their absolute most basic essentials for adaptation to a compelling monster of the week TV series.

Or as you probably know it, Danny Phantom. DON’T BOO, I’M RIGHT.

DP is Spider-Man with about 2/3 of the serial numbers filed off and no death (ironically), and Danny’s ghost sense is the most proof in the formula example of what the spidey sense is for: It’s a big sign held up for the viewer that says, “Something is wrong! Pay attention!” Effectively a visual scare chord. It’s about That Drama. And it works, which won it a consistent place in the show’s formula. We’re talking several times an episode here.

So why does it work?

It’s a little counterintuitive, but it’s strong storytelling to tell your audience that something bad is going to happen before it does. A vague, punchy spoiler transforms the ignorant calm before a conflict into a tense moment of anticipation. ...And it makes sure people don’t fail to absorb the beginning of said conflict because they weren’t prepared to shift gears when the scene did. Shock is a valuable tool, too, but treating it like a staple is how you burn out your audience instead of keeping them engaged. Not to go after an easy target, but you need to know how to manage your audience’s alarm if you don’t want to end up like Game of Thrones.

The limits of the spider-sense also keep you on your toes when handled by a smart writer. It tells Peter (everyone’s is a little different, so I’m going to cite the og) about threats to his person, but it doesn’t elaborate with any details when it’s not already obvious why, what kind, and from what. And it doesn’t warn him about anything else-- Which is a pretty critical gap when you zoom out and look at his hero career’s successes and failures and conclude that it’s definitely why he’s lived as long as he has acting the way he does, but was useless as he failed to save a string of people he’d have much rather had live on than him.

(Any long-running superhero mythos has these incidents, but with Peter they’re important to the core themes.)

And since this power is by plot for plot (or because it’s roughly agreed it only really blares about threats that check at least two boxes of being major, immediate, or physical), it always kicks in enough to register when the danger is bearing down...when it’s too late to actually do anything about it if “anything” is a more complex action than “dodge”.

Really? Not until the elevator doors started to open?

That Distinctive, Crunchy Spider Flavor

The spider-sense and its little pen squiggles go hand in hand with wallcrawling (and its unique and instantly identifiable associated body language) to make the Spider-Person powerset enduringly iconic and elevate characters with it from being generic mid-level super-bricks. Visually, but also in how it shapes the story.

I said it can share a narrative role with super strength. But when you end a fight and go home, super strength continues to make your character feel powerful, probably safer than they’d be otherwise, maybe dangerous.

The spider-sense just keeps blaring, “Something’s wrong! Something’s wrong! God, why aren’t you doing something about this!?”

Pretty morose thing to live with, for a safety net! Kind of a double edged sword you have there! Could be constantly being hyperattuned to problems would prime you for a negative outlook on life. Kind of seems like a power that would make it impossible for a moral person to take a day off, leading them into a beleaguered and resentful yet dutiful attitude about the whole superhero gig! Might build up to some of the core traits of this mythos, maybe! Might lead to a lot of fifteen minute retirement stories, or something. Might even be a built in ‘great responsibility’ alarm that gets you a main character who as a rule is not going to stop fighting until he physically cannot fight anymore.

Certainly not apropos of anything, just throwing this short lived barely-a-joke tagline up for fun.

One of my personal favorite things about stories with superpowers is keeping in mind how they cause the people who have them to act in unusual ways outside of fights, so when you tell me that these people have an entire extra sense that tells them when the gas in their house is leaking through a barely useful hot/cold warning system that never turns off, I’m like, eyes emojis, popcorn out, notebook open, listening intently, spectacles on, the whole deal.

It also contributes to Peter Parker’s personality in a way I really enjoy: It allows him to act like an irrational maniac. When you know exactly when a situation becomes dangerous and how much, normal levels of caution go out the window and absolutely nothing you do makes sense from an exterior standpoint anymore. That’s the good shit. I would like to see more exploration of how the non-Parker characters experiencing the world in this incredibly altered way bounce in response.

It’s also one of many tools in this franchise hauling the reader into relating more closely with the main character. The backbone of classic Spidey is probably being in on secrets only Peter and the reader know which completely reframe how one views the situation on the page. It’s just a big irony mine for the whole first decade. A convenient way to inform the reader and the lead that something is bad news that’s not perceivable to any other characters is youth-with-a-big-exciting-secret catnip.

Another point for tension, there, in that being aware of danger is not synonymous with being able to act on it. If there’s no visible reason for you to be acting strange, well...you’re just going to have to sit tight and sweat, aren’t you? Some gratuitous head wiggles never hurt when setting up that type of conflict.

Have I mentioned that they look cool? Simultaneously punchy and distinctive, with a respectable amount of leeway for artists to get creative with and still coming up with something easily recognizable? And pretty easy to intuit the meaning of even without the long-winded explanations common in the days when people wrote comics with the intent that someone could come in cold on any random issue and follow along okay, I think, although the mechanic has been deeply ingrained in popular culture for so long that I can’t really say for sure.

It was also useful back in the day when no artists drew the eyes on the Spider-Man mask as emoting and were conveying the lead’s expressions entirely through body language and panel composition. If you wiggle enough squiggles, you don’t need eyebrows.

Take This Handwave and Never Ask Me a Logistical Question Again

This ability patches plot holes faster than people can pick them open AND it can act as an excuse to get any plot rolling you can think of if paired with one meddling protagonist who doesn’t know how to mind their own business. Buy it now for only $19.99 (in four installments; that’s four installments of $19.99).

Why can a teenager win a six on one fight against other superhumans? Well, the spider-sense is the ultimate edge in combat, duh.

Why can Peter websling? Why doesn’t everyone websling? Well, the spider-sense is keeping him from eating flagpole when he violently flings himself across New York in a way neither man nor spider was ever meant to move.

How are we supposed to get him involved with the plot this week???? Well, that crate FELT dangerous, so he’s going to investigate it. Oh, dip, it was full of guns and radioactive snakes! Probably shouldn’t have opened that!

Yeah, okay, but why isn’t it fixing everything, then? Isn’t it supposed to be why Peter has never accidentally unmasked in front of somebody? ('Nother entry for this section, take a shot.) That’s crazy sensitive! How does he still have any problems!? Is everything bad that’s ever happened to characters with this powerset bad writing!? --Listen, I think as people with uncanny senses that can tell us whether we are in danger with accuracy that varies from incredible to approximate (I am talking about the five senses that most people have), we should all know better than to underestimate our ability to tune them out or interpret them wrong and fuck ourselves up anyway. I honestly find this part completely realistic.

*SLAPS ROOF OF SPIDER-SENSE* YOU CAN FIT SO MANY STORIES IN THIS THING

The spider-sense is a clean branch into...whatever. There is the exact right balance of structure and wishy-washiness to build off of. A sample selection of whatevers that have been built:

It’s sci-fi and spy gadgets when Peter builds technology that can interface with it.

It’s quasi-mystical when Kaine and Annie-May get stronger versions of it that give them literal psychic visions, or when you want to get mythological and start talking about all the spider-characters being part of a grand web of fate.

Kaine loses his and it becomes symbolic of a future newly unbound by constraints, entangled thematically with the improved physical health he picked up at the same time -- a loss presented as a gain.

Peter loses his and almost dies 782 times in one afternoon because that didn’t make the people he provoked when he had it stop trying to kill him, and also because he isn’t about to start “””taking the subway’’””’ “‘’“”to work”””’’” like some kind of loser who doesn’t get a heads up when he’s about to hit a pigeon at 50mph.

Peter’s starts tuning into his wife’s anxiety and it’s a tool in a relationship study.

It starts pinging whenever Peter’s near his boss who’s secretly been replaced by a shapeshifter and he IGNORES IT because his boss is enough of an asshole that that doesn’t strike him as weird; now it’s a comedy/irony tool.

Into the Spider-Verse made it this beautiful poetic thing connecting all the spider-heroes in the multiverse and stacked up a story on it about instant connection, loss, and incredibly unlikely strangers becoming a found family. It was also aesthetic as FUCK. Remember the scene where Miles just hears barely intelligible whispering that’s all lines people say later in the film and then his own voice very clearly says “look out” and then the room explodes?? Fuck!!!!

Venom becomes immune to it after hitchhiking to Earth in Peter’s bone juice and it makes him a unique threat while telling a more-homoerotic-than-I-assume-was-originally-intended story about violation and how close relationships can be dangerous when they go sour.

It doesn’t work on people you trust for maximum soap opera energy. Love the innate tragedy of this feature coming up.

IN CONCLUSION I don’t have much patience for writers who don’t take advantage of it, never mind feel they need to write around it.

[dabidagoose]

What's your fave video game sountrack(s)? =^o

Ok that is a very loaded question so this is gonna be a long ass response, I hope you're prepared for what you've done.

(ok there's a tl;dr at the end if you want it sorry for this lmao)

FIRST POINT my immediate thought was the Ikenfell soundtrack (actually my immediate thought is I can't fuckin' choose they're all amazing but. then ikenfell). On the personal side, I was pretty much obsessed with the game for like three months straight, and i fuckin' love aivi and surasshu's music. I am also a simp for chiptune so jot that down. Moving past what may very well just be personal preference there are some incredibly interesting musical choices and impeccable choices story-wise that hit just. SO fuckin hard. Like emotionally. I won't elaborate on to the context and why the song works so well but the final battle theme is absolutely SPECTACULAR. (I could elaborate though so. ask if you will and i'll write another spiel on why it breaks my heart and soul). But also to reference a less-plot relevant piece I'm gonna bring up Alchemy is for Everyone. The squish bass sounds at the beginning are SUCH a fun environmental sound, it is really just NOT a sound I hear often which makes the track really stand out. And it fits SO perfectly for all the slimes and just. It's so WET. I love it. Makes me wanna wriggle. Which ok is probably also personal preference on reflection because my friend hates a wet song that I love but. Ok it's GOOD. Anyways continuing to the melody the fuckin PITCH bends. This is digital music at it's peak. We get the fun sounds. We get the fuckin pitch bends. Which are so fun because having slightly out of tune notes is such a fun feeling. It's a little off kilter, it's a little different. It's just SO funky and sounds so awesome to bend those pitches just a little bit, take full advantage of the medium and play around with it. Now I'm gonna talk a bit about why I love aivi & surasshu's music so much which. Ok so I believe(?) they coined the term "digital fusion" where you're mixing all these fun fresh digital sounds with real instruments/more traditional sounds and it can work SO fuckin well (for extra musical literature on this subject I'd like to suggest Yoann Turpin and specifically Chip Ship). Which we already get a taste of that where the pitch bends are playing on piano but it really kicks in when the violin takes over the melody and it's SUCH a graceful instrument in comparison to all this funky/awkward stuff we've had. The dichotomy is fuckin awesome. The violin is like a graceful victorian socialite ballroom dancing in after these pitch bends just pinned their arms to their sides and wiggled their hips around. We then get a third spacey instrument (I. have no idea what it is.) and it is. SUCH a switch. We have moved from awkward and stilted to almost too perfect and graceful (I forgot to write before but the high piano at the violin adds so much) to a moment of awe and discovery. We are now exploring the universe, the world of science and alchemy, and it is fantastic. The song almost seems to have it's own little narrative, and this is just a backing track for exploring one of the buildings!!!! This is within the first couple hours of gameplay, it is incredibly non-plot-relevant but SUCH a piece of art. I am absolutely in a slime ball watching amazing science happen so precisely and it is. so fuckin cool. And I could probably go off about every single other song, but in the interest of keeping away spoilers and finishing this post before 2 am, I will not. (Addendums because I can: this is less wet than the one my friend hates, and also this song is MOIST. I would also like to mention It's Showtime and Between the Lines as other song favorites but if I went into them I would never sleep.)

Okokokok. So. So SECOND point (I'm. so sorry.) I looked at my video game music soundtrack (I have two main soundtracks one for just every music but I didn't want to overwhelm it with VG music so I made one just for that that has ENTIRE soundtracks from almost every game I've played which. oops.) and I found two other contenders based mostly on I Really Liked The Games. The Oneshot soundtrack and the Night in the Woods soundtrack. Ok I'm gonna talk about Night in the Woods first cause HOLY shit. holy shit. The fucking astral songs. Those are fucking masterpieces. Such a simple ensemble but it creates such an INTENSE atmosphere. I really love instrumental music can you tell. I specifically want you listening to Astral Train for this one (played it for my senior recital and even though I had to play the violin part on clarinet I maintain it was one of the best choices I've ever made), but we the way the layers blend together is a fucking masterpiece. Since this song had to be designed so that any layer could play alone and each one could join in any order, each part of the quartet has to be interesting, but they still all must blend together and so they each get melody moments but the harmony/bass lines have to be interesting as well and. They ARE. This is such a hard task and it's accomplished SO. INCREDIBLY. WELL. (Side note: also makes for a good ensemble piece for, say, your and your friends' senior recitals, so everyone gets fun parts, a chance in the limelight, and a chance to rest, haha totally irrelevant note right there definitely no connection to my real life). With Astral Train we really get this cool ghostly train feel and through all the Astral pieces we REALLY feel the absolute intensity of Mae's dreams and the music creates such an immaculate vibe. It is unmatched. The rest of the soundtrack contains plenty of bops in a variety of genres too, where the bass songs have to be both playable and fun (Die Anywhere Else my beloved), and we get nostalgic and mischievous music fit for this ragtag team. This is the feeling I've had hanging out with my teenage friends at 10 PM in a parking lot. It is absolutely perfect for this video game. The music is SUCH a bop and really emotionally connects to me cause the game is such a bop of a plot. It is truly fantastic. (Addendum: Ok listening to Gregg rn and. Holy shit bop. I love him. I love this)

Ok now onto Oneshot, which, admittedly, does not have as strong a holding on the podium as these other two do, but curse me for having been emotionally destroyed by the video game because now I am emotionally attached to the music too. But, again, ATMOSPHERE. I am once again gonna be speaking in the interest of spoilers here, so I hope anyone who's finished the game will forgive what I'm not saying, but the entire landscape of this desolate planet is just SO much. The world is so simple and empty, and yet awe is often mixed with this feeling of despair. This is incredibly fitting for Niko, for the hopeful little pal they are, and creates an incredible effect. (I included specific song reccs for the last but I don't quite for this - so I'll just say now that I'm listening to On Little Cat Feet). The visuals are fairly simple, the map small, and just looking at the game the world feels incredibly small. But the music makes it all seem so vast. We really get put into Niko's shoes (or their little cat feet I suppose), and get to see this world for the vast, terrifying, but incredible place it is. The music makes you feel like that child seeing a new world for the first time, (this isn't spoilers past the first chapter but I'm warning you anyways) even though you are meant to be a god, you are still made to feel small and the world still large. The music does so much of this work, and it's incredible. Throughout the soundtrack the underlying angst, the despair, remains present, and the game has so much more impact for the music. No game is incomplete without it's music, and Nightmargin does a fantastic job creating this music for Oneshot. I haven't analyzed the actual music instruments/structure so much, but it's those instrumental sounds again tearing at my heart strings again. I would also like to recommend this game beyond the soundtrack, since it is an incredible story, with some puzzling gameplay, and it has made me feel how no other game has. It is a masterpiece of a game, and I implore everyone to play it through. Get hints if you need to, or play alone, just make it to the Ending. You'll know when you're there. (Addendum: I think I'm very repetitive here but I refuse to edit it so you have to live with this. Anyways gonna say it again: Play Oneshot!!)

Now I have chosen three game soundtracks that had a story that incredibly connected with me, and music to bolster that story and those emotions in incredibly meaningful ways. But there are so many others with great music, but that didn't necessarily connect on such an emotional level. Portal and Portal 2 have fantastic soundtracks, Celeste has beautiful music, Underhero has some funky and spectacular beats, Undertale and Deltarune are famously incredible (although I also did emotionally connect with them... but they're already talked about enough. Lancer beloved.), Clam Man is just. Fun., Oxenfree is also incredibly atmospheric and spectacular, Sewer Rave just has nice beats, and Minecraft is nostalgic as all hell. There are so many games to choose from, that from the moment I saw your question I knew I would be writing a far too long Tumblr post to answer you, because it feels an injustice to just answer one without reasoning, or without bringing to light all of the other amazing sounds I've discovered.

To finally answer your question, I think Ikenfell deserves the top spot in my heart. My instinct was right, there's fresh sounds, great musical structure (see: Between the Lines that I didn't elaborate on), incredibly emotional sounds, and fantastic storytelling within the soundtrack. But I love all of these other soundtracks, so I must bring them up. For they also have spots in my heart.

TL;DR - Ikenfell wins but I also love Oneshot and Night in the Woods and many others so I don't know what to say chief (lies i have too much to say)

[tribow]

So I watched Blade of the Immortal

Specifically the 2019 ONA release of this story by LIDENFILMS. This anime probably flew under literally everyone's radar because this anime was on Amazon of all places. I haven't read the original series or watched the original anime, but I have heard of its legacy. People seem to hold up Blade of the Immortal to high regards.

The 2019 adaption of Blade of the Immortal is certainly good. I wouldn't call it masterclass storytelling, but the anime can become very compelling to watch. Multiple characters go through some really cool development, especially for the main character, Rin. The actual immortal in the story plays a supporting role in the narrative most of the time, which was surprising.

Speaking of which, this story does some really unique stuff with the immortality trope that I haven't seen anywhere else. The animation is also really detailed. The advantage of animating an ONA is that you don't really need to adhere to the schedule of a television broadcast. There's some real complicated character designs that need to be animated here and it looks great.

HOWEVER, this is not an anime I can easily recommend despite how good it is. There's some hurdles you will need to be able to get over to watch this anime and it warns you at that start of each episode. For a little bit of context, this anime takes place in medievil Japan. I know enough about japanese history to know that being a woman in that era was not a good time.

There's plenty of rape and sexual assault in this anime. The good news is that this anime does not glorify it and is condemning it more than anything. It's used as a narrative tool and to shock you into understanding that medievil Japan is fucked up. This isn't like other anime/hentai where the offender just gets away with it and the women get treated like an object and it doesn't have an effect on the characters or narrative. I can praise this anime for not glorifying sexual assault like so much japanese media does, (Side note: This is a SERIOUS problem with Japan) but it is going to make you uncomfortable. In fact, it wants you to be uncomfortable, the anime clearly communicates that rape and sexual assault is terrible and you need to be okay with watching characters experience these horrifying scenarios.

The second hurdle is the gore in this anime. It's not just blood spraying everywhere, there's some very detailed depictions of very severe injuries. The brutality is used as a narrative tool of course, but I mean it when I say it's detailed. The animation really sells the impact of what's happening. I'd compare it to how Mortal Kombat depicts its violence, just without the bones shattering.

The third hurdle is whether or not you have epilepsy. The animation is great, but the animation direction has some red and white flashing going on. It's not super frequent, but it's enough to make me concerned about it.

If you can get past these hurdles then I'd recommend this anime for sure, however, this isn't a masterpiece. The biggest issue the anime has is the lightning fast pacing. You need to memorize the names and faces of characters because they will change their appearance without warning. Many characters have 0 introduction and will absolutely be relevant later on. The anime is not going to make sure you understand what's happening, so you might have to pause and take a minute to digest what is going on at times.

Also, the first 3 episodes actually suck. The 1st one is edgy as hell and the 2nd episode has very awkwardly timed comedy that does not contrast well with the 1st episode. (Side note: The comedy is usually timed well to break up the terrible shit the characters have to go through and some characters are clearly just trying to cope). 3rd episode brings back the edge, but the rest of the anime picks itself up and does great without stumbling too hard.

Sitting through it is worth it, the anime ends off on a really good note that wraps up everything very nicely. It's really cool to see an anime that actually has an ending that doesn't ruin anything. Seriously, the final episode has some incredible shit in it. Many characters have amazing developement as well (a couple dont, but they dont drag the story down at all). There's a lot of great things I can say about the characters that I won't elaborate on because this post is long enough already.

I do need to talk about Manji a little bit though. This anime isn't some kind of power fantasy, Manji is not overpowered in the slightest despite being immortal. My guy gets his ass kicked several times even if he ends up winning. I love that he isn't written to be the most powerful like most immortals would be. It's really interesting to see an immortal go through a lot of physical struggles instead of asserting their immortal dominance on the rest of the cast.

This is a real good anime and it's worth the watch, just, be aware of what you're getting into. Blade of the Immortal won't pull its punches and it's not going to be a casual watch. It gives you a lot to think about over its runtime. This anime will be in my head for a while.

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #233

Fri May 01 2020 [01:13 AM] Wack'd: We open on Deeden State Correctional Facility. It is, the narration tells us, incredibly hellish, but not infamously, because no one ever leaves to tell the tale. It is here David Munson is about to be condemned to death. [01:13 AM] Wack'd: (Also yes Deeden sounds like Deadend, this is its nickname, and what I'll call it because I'll probably just forget not to) [01:14 AM] maxwellelvis: Sounds more like Dee-Dee to me [01:15 AM] Wack'd: Anyway, David--or Davey as the priest calls him--is pissed because he didn't kill the guy he's being put to death for killing [01:15 AM] Wack'd: He killed lots of other people, sure, but not this one guy [01:16 AM] Wack'd: Anyway Davey gets electrocuted to death. And the priest sets about satisfying Davey's last request: [01:16 AM] Wack'd: Deliver a letter to one Mr. Jonathan Storm. [01:17 AM] Bocaj: DUN DUN DUN [01:18 AM] Wack'd: Did the Baxter always have this spiffy awning? I feel like it didn't.

[01:19 AM] Wack'd: Oh hey, a modern update on the Baxter cutaway. We get to watch this priest explore while Sue gives him the rundown. [01:20 AM] Wack'd: Unfortunately they've arrived in the middle of a Johnny/Ben showdown. (Johnny had plastered a photo of Christopher Reeves over Ben's bathroom mirror.) [01:22 AM] Wack'd: Thank you Reed for explaining Ben's damage. And thank you Sue for getting POed over something that has been going on for literal years that you've never gotten POed about before.

[01:23 AM] maxwellelvis: All for the sake of making the priest feel very very uncomfortable. [01:23 AM] Bocaj: I think its specifically because it happened in front of a priest [01:23 AM] maxwellelvis: "Should I wait outside until this blows over, my son?" [01:23 AM] Bocaj: Sue at her worst might be very 'how dare you let others see us as we are' [01:24 AM] Wack'd: Fair [01:25 AM] Wack'd: Anyway, Davey wants Johnny to clear his name. His mom never knew what a shit he was, see, and since he's getting executed for something he is actually innocent of, there's a chance she'll never have to find out. [01:25 AM] maxwellelvis: It might have helped if his defense wasn't "Yes, I'm GLAD, GLAD THE BASTARD'S DEAD! GLAD, YOU HEAR ME?! But I didn't shoot him." [01:25 AM] Bocaj: Ha [01:26 AM] Bocaj: God this is reminding me abstractly of the time that Batman stopped Joker from being executed because the specific thing he was being executed he didn't do. But only that very specific thing. [01:26 AM] maxwellelvis: "(Because if I had killed him, it wouldn't have been with a gun)" [01:26 AM] Wack'd: As for why Johnny, well, Davey knew him from bullying Johnny in high school. (He's not in Strange Tales. I checked.) [01:26 AM] maxwellelvis: Oh boy, this trope [01:27 AM] maxwellelvis: Yep, good ol' Davey Munson. Been here the whoooole time. [01:30 AM] Wack'd: Sick burn on Ed Koch outta nowhere

[01:31 AM] Wack'd: (Though actually he's been in office for three years at this point so *shrug*) [01:31 AM] Wack'd: (It took Johnny two hours to get here by Fantasticar so maybe we're not even in NYC anymore? I dunno) [01:31 AM] maxwellelvis: "How'm I doin'? How'm I doin'? I'm not doin' so well." [01:32 AM] Wack'd: Hey, more silent panels! Artsy

[01:32 AM] maxwellelvis: Silent AND black-and-white with zero grayscale [01:32 AM] Wack'd: Anyway, it seems pretty open and shut. No gloves, fingerprints all over the gun, and plenty of witnesses. [01:33 AM] Wack'd: But. [01:33 AM] maxwellelvis: Just one more question [01:33 AM] Wack'd: Johnny just doesn't believe Davey was smart enough to use a silencer [01:33 AM] maxwellelvis: Wow [01:34 AM] Bocaj: 😐 [01:34 AM] Bocaj: Damning with faint praise [01:35 AM] Wack'd: Anyway, Johnny heads to the scene of the crime, where he finds the stockroom. He thinks it's weird that the victim would've been back here with the lights out and the store closed. [01:35 AM] maxwellelvis: Wow, I was just joking up above with the Columbo routine. [01:35 AM] Wack'd: Also, it's weird that this liquor store is run by Abraham Lincoln, right? Not just me?

[01:36 AM] maxwellelvis: "PISS OFF!" [01:36 AM] Wack'd: It's a conspiracy?!

[01:37 AM] Bocaj: Those meddling Avengers or Spider-Man [01:37 AM] Wack'd: Anyway, Johnny gives chase, and the guy says "there's no way the cops could pin that hit on me", and we're like halfway through the issue so I guess now Johnny goes home and does something else. [01:38 AM] Wack'd: Dishonest Abe was too stupid to memorize H's phone number so now Johnny has a lead in the form of said phone number. [01:39 AM] Wack'd: Finds the warehouse, takes out a buncha dumb thugs. [01:40 AM] Wack'd: Johnny, that's torture, and on top of being ineffective it's generally frowned upon.

[01:41 AM] maxwellelvis: Did he turn into a completely different guy for one panel? [01:41 AM] Wack'd: Looks like a coloring error, yeah [01:42 AM] maxwellelvis: Also, is Byrne the first guy to draw Johnny's eyes as glowing when he's the Torch? [01:42 AM] Wack'd: Maybe? [01:42 AM] Wack'd: Anyway H turns out to be a member of the Mafia. Or the Maggia I guess but fuck that it's the Mafia. [01:42 AM] maxwellelvis: That was a thing the first season of the 90's cartoon did, have his eyes and mouth glow like that. [01:43 AM] Wack'd: Oh hey, a Dick Tracy villains convention!

[01:43 AM] maxwellelvis: Hammerhead! [01:44 AM] Wack'd: Fight fight fight [01:44 AM] maxwellelvis: His one special technique won't be quite as effective against a guy who can fly and catch fire. [01:46 AM] Wack'd: He's able to go toe-to-toe with Johnny because he's got an exosuit. [01:46 AM] maxwellelvis: Ahh. Damn Maggia resources. [01:46 AM] maxwellelvis: But I like that Hammerhead isn't so committed to his gimmick as to commit tactical suicide here. [01:48 AM] Wack'd: Johnny manages to short-circuit the suit by melting some of its fuses. But Hammerhead doesn't realize his suit isn't working anymore and escapes by jumping off the building. [01:48 AM] Bocaj: And nothing of value was lost. [01:48 AM] Wack'd: He disappears before hitting the ground though and Johnny can't find him so he's probably fine. [01:49 AM] maxwellelvis: If he's got a power suit, he's probably got a teleporter. [01:50 AM] maxwellelvis: Anyways, that'd explain why Morrie was so worried as to specifically namedrop Spider-Man earlier. [01:50 AM] Wack'd: Anyway, here's the summation.

[01:50 AM] Wack'd: Given the issue opens with Johnny picking on Ben I was expecting, like, something about bullying being a slippery slope or Johnny at least reevaluating his behavior but no he's a good good boy [01:51 AM] Wack'd: I like the twist that the mom knew the whole time, though. [01:52 AM] Wack'd: A better story woulda, like, tied things up thematically on that end too. Maybe get Sue involved? But it's cute. [01:53 AM] maxwellelvis: It's a sign of something that so far your criticisms have been mostly possible missed opportunities or ways to hypothetically improve the story. [01:53 AM] Wack'd: Yeah [01:54 AM] Wack'd: I think to a degree the modern era of comics storytelling is still kinda coming into its own, Fantastic Four has been spinning through so many creative heads it hasn't really had time to catch up [01:55 AM] maxwellelvis: Yeah, this is still technically the Bronze Age. [01:55 AM] maxwellelvis: I think the Dark Age kicks in in the mid-80's, but there's no real crystalizing thing you can point to. [01:56 AM] maxwellelvis: It's more gradual than dividing things into ages would make you think. [01:56 AM] maxwellelvis: Anyways, this is why I find John Byrne to be such a frustrating figure: [01:56 AM] maxwellelvis: There's no denying he's gifted, but he's just so unbearable as a person. [01:56 AM] Wack'd: Heh [01:59 AM] Wack'd: Regardless I'm just really 'gized to know that I'm reading a story that's not gonna be abruptly cut off and paved over [01:59 AM] maxwellelvis: Yeah, that is one advantage of a long run like Byrne's.

[moviemagistrate]

ONCE UPON A TIME…IN HOLLYWOOD review

ONCE UPON A TIME…IN HOLLYWOOD is my favorite movie of the 2010’s. 

I’ll give you a minute to put your recently-blown mind back together.

So why do I love this movie so much? The overall response to Quentin Tarantino’s supposedly penultimate opus has been very positive if not rapturous, but I’ve seen some surprisingly lukewarm and even negative reviews, with people criticizing it for being slow, meandering, lacking in depth or *shudder* boring. Obviously the quality of any movie is subjective, as I’m quick to remind anyone who hates Michael Bay movies, but I honestly don’t understand people who dislike OUATIH. Maybe it’s a matter of expectations, because I didn’t know how to feel about the film for much of the first time I watched it either.

The year is 1969, a time of great political and cultural change in the country and in the entertainment industry. The star-driven films of yesteryear are giving way to grittier, artsier, more auteur-driven works as we primarily follow Rick Dalton (Leonardo DiCaprio), former star of a popular cowboy show whose failed attempt to start an A-list movie career has left him relying on guest spots as TV villains-of-the-week to stay afloat. This is wonderfully laid out in the opening scene where he meets casting director Marvin Schwarz (Al Pacino, easily his best role since JACK & JILL), who lays out Rick’s lowering hierarchical status (“Who’s gonna kick the shit out of you next week? How about Batman & Robin? PING. POW”), while offering him an opportunity to be a leading-man again in Italian pictures.

Tagging along is Rick’s best, and maybe only, friend Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt), Rick’s go-with-the-flow stunt-double who in the slowdown of Rick’s career has effectively become his driver and gofer, as well as Rick’s sole source of emotional support. Rick is also neighbors with Sharon Tate (Margot Robbie), the beautiful young actress and wife of then-superstar director Roman Polanski (whose inclusion in the film is minimal and handled tastefully), as she lives out her idyllic life, beloved by those around her like the ray of sunshine she was in real life. Her gated, hillside home looms over Rick’s, as he ponders aloud about how even meeting her the right way could resurrect his career.

For almost two-and-a-half hours, we follow these three characters as they just live out their lives, Rick nursing hangovers and having emotional breakdowns in front of his 8-year-old co-star on set while contemplating his future, Cliff going where the wind blows him while taking care of his adorable and highly-trained dog, and Sharon as she drives around Old Hollywood, spends time with her friends, and sneaks into a matinee showing of one of her movies, her eyes and infectious smile beaming with pride when the audience laughs at her comedic timing and cheers her martial-arts prowess.

I think it’s safe to say it’s not the film any of us were expecting from Quentin Tarantino. Having only made loud, gory, over-the-top genre pastiches for the last 15 years, you’d expect from the trailers for this to be about an actor and his sexy stunt-double getting mixed up with the Manson family before teaming up with Bruce Lee to save Sharon Tate from her horrific real-life fate, mixed with the filmmaker’s usual self-indulgent homages to films of yesteryear. While some of this is true to some extent, it’s surprisingly a much more relaxed, easygoing dramedy that follows a trio of funny, charismatic people as they just…exist, as people living in the moment instead of relics.

OUATIH is much more concerned with atmosphere, character, and capturing the feeling of a bygone era than the traditional narrative structure. It’s more effective than pretty much every nostalgia trip movie I've ever seen because you can feel Tarantino's affection for this era of his childhood bleed through every character, car, song, radio advertisement, TV show, background poster, etc. It’s through this meticulous level of detail and willingness to just hang out with these characters and take in this world that he reconstructed, Tarantino successfully resurrects the era in all its 35mm glory, but with the knowing twinge of real-world melancholy.

I guess the reason I love it so much is because the love that Tarantino has for everything and everyone in it is so tangible that it’s infectious. Watching OUATIH I honestly felt like I understood him better as both a filmmaker and as a person. He shows a level of restraint and maturity I haven’t seen since JACKIE BROWN. Even most of his trademark foot fetishizing is tasteful and subdued (I say “most” because I recall at least three close-ups of actresses’ feet that definitely made him a bit sweaty behind the camera). He’s a weird, shameless nerd with a big ego, but he’s 100% sincere about expressing his love for film and its rich history. And it’s this love, and the skill and style with which it’s expressed, that just put a big smile on my face each of the 6 (SIX) times that I’ve seen it since it came out. 

Tarantino offers a tantalizing contrast between reality and fantasy. Throughout the film, as the characters of Hollywood live in their own idyllic world, relaxing in pools or driving around in bitchin’ cars, we also see the disquieting eeriness and griminess of the Manson family. The soundtrack and accompanying old-timey commercials for tanning butter or Mug Root Beer that plays through a lot of the film is a joy to listen to, but we also hear news bulletins of the war in Vietnam or the aftermath of the Bobby Kennedy assassination. You could argue this is just to set the scene for the era, but it feels too deliberate, because even after that joyously fantastical ending, we remember that it was just a fairy tale and real life didn’t turn out as pleasantly. Tarantino’s ability to make his world and characters so meticulously detailed and lived-in works to great effect in instilling a bittersweet melancholy to this film in a way I was really taken aback by. It feels like a window into his soul, someone who yearns for the fantasy of the world he grew up in but remembering that not all good things last and not everything in your nostalgic past was good to begin with.

One beautiful, spellbinding scene is Rick and Cliff coming back from their excursion into the world of Italian filmmaking. In this montage, we see Rick, Cliff and Rick’s new Italian wife arriving at the airport and driving home before unpacking their baggage, interspersed with Sharon Tate welcoming a guest at her home and having lunch, before cutting to a series of shots of famous LA landmarks like Grauman's Chinese Theatre, Taco Bell, and Der Wienerschnitzel all meticulously resurrected in their retro glory as they light up the night. “Baby, baby, baby you’re out of time”, sings Mick Jagger as we’re watching multiple stories about people who are each embodying those words: Rick’s career, his friendship with Cliff, Sharon Tate, and Hollywood itself.

Tarantino himself feels like one of the last mainstream auteur filmmakers, as well as one of the last and biggest proponents of shooting large-budget movies on film (even Scorsese’s embraced digital now, the fantastically-talented traitor). And with the rise of streaming services, one can’t help but feel like the movie-going experience itself is also becoming obsolete, especially recently, what with theaters going to war with distributors over fucking TROLLS: WORLD TOUR, not to mention that global pandemic we’ve been having lately all but killing general audiences’ enthusiasm for the movie theater experience (Christopher Nolan’s TENET certainly didn’t help). If all these things, both real and fictional, are indeed out of time, then at least with Tarantino’s penultimate film they get one hell of a bittersweet sendoff, a great time that’s more of an Irish wake than a funeral, and it’s a film I have no issue calling a truly introspective, late-career masterpiece.

And that’s without mentioning uniformly incredible cast. Leo DiCaprio, an actor I normally don’t care too much for, gives the best and funniest performance of his career as a dependent prima donna actor clinging to his remaining fame. Brad Pitt earns the hell out of his Oscar as an embodiment of old-school masculinity and charisma with an amazing set of abs (and everything else) whose outward coolness masks his mysterious past and complete badass-ness. Margot Robbie shines in her depiction of Tate, a beacon of warmth and likability who in many ways symbolized the love and carefree attitudes of the swingin’ 60’s. I’ve heard people criticize her character for not having a lot of dialogue, but to me it feels like they’re ignoring the visual storytelling, which just gives way to them assuming the film is sexist just because the female lead isn’t constantly monologuing. Every member of the supporting cast is memorable with their own quirks and great lines, no matter their screentime.

And of course, it wouldn’t be a Tarantino joint without some truly hilarious and shocking violence, and without going into spoiler territory, the last 20 minutes delivers on this promise to such a degree that I feel comfortable calling it the best thing he’s ever done. Some may decry the climax as unnecessary or over-the-top, but the way it leads to an alternate world while subtly acknowledging what happened in the real one is cathartic beyond belief. And if you’re paying attention, every scene in the movie has been quietly building towards this finale, which to me takes away any potential of feeling meandering in the story. If you saw the movie and didn’t much care for it, I recommend giving it another watch. Having the context ahead of time makes it feel so much more rewarding, and even on the fifth watch I’m noticing clever, subtle set-ups I missed beforehand.

It’s also just super cozy and really easy to watch. The two hours and 45 minutes fly by. I could watch a 4-hour version of this.

Quentin, if you’re reading this, please don’t let your last movie be Star Trek.

[myentertainmentthoughts]

Evangelion: I’m so conflicted...

Cool mech show!

Much ass-kicking!

Very sick!

And then...WTF?????

I’ve been keeping Neon Genesis Evangelion on my ever-growing, never-ending anime backlog for YEARS. I’m aware of the legacy and impact it has had on anime fans and culture, and how highly regarded it is. I’ve been told that it has deeper meaning and deeper themes than the typical anime - which sounds right up my alley. A chance to explore unique and strong thematic content using anime (arguably the one media form that is most plagued by stereotypes and tropes). What isn’t there to love about that? So with all of that in mind, I was quite excited to catch up and finally get on board. Yet, I was SO not prepared.

I don’t think any one CAN be, when going through it. Because Evangelion’s world building is rife with insane layers. Layers that are not apparent at all with just watching the content. I feel that creating something that is so hard to understand is inevitably divisive in its very nature.

What is the complication here? What is this anime about? Well... to loosely recap: Evangelion circles around a pseudo post-apocalyptic world in which these monstrous creatures named Angels come down to earth to cause mass chaos and destruction ALA Godzilla.

And this agency, Nerv has created these giant mecha robots named Evas to combat them. They get teenagers to pilot them and kick the shit out of the Angels. 

There’s a shadowy higher agency behind Nerv named Seele that are super mysterious. And shadowy. And mysterious. And shadowy.

It’s (generally) standard fare for a giant robot anime in premise. The format is even episodic in the same way that other robot genre animes are. In every episode, a different Angel comes down. The Evas have to find a new creative way to deal with the challenge of each specific one. Cutesy moments happen between the main characters that build their relationships with one another. Vague political maneuvering seems to be happening in the background with Nerv and Seele at all times. It all reads...until BAM!

MASS CONFUSION.

It’s largely within the last 2 episodes that this all hits, but Evangelion transforms and flips from a standard robot anime show into...”art”? But in a  Duchamp’s “Fountain”-it’s-not-a-toilet-it’s-really-art-because-real-art-is-just-perception-and-I-tricked-you-all-into-loving-a-signed-toilet  way. So in my not so humble opinion - not the GOOD kind of art.

When I finished watching the series, I thought I understood it. (Despite the cluster fuck of its 2 part finale) But after reviewing the content with online sources, and with friends who are fans of the series - even some of the most MAJOR plot points and storytelling had gone right over my head. Fans have explained to me that they watched the series young and at the time, many of Evangelion’s themes were lost on them. But what the hell was my excuse? I’m a damn adult. I just watched 26 full episodes of content. This shit got me SO damn lost - am I just...dumb?

Well. Turns out that I’m not dumb. Or at least not always dumb. Evangelion has actually gained quite a bit of noteriety for this effect that it has on people. I can now say that I’m caught up since I’ve seen the original series, End of Evangelion, and Rebuild 1.0, 2.0, and 3.0. I fully get its larger overarching concepts and mythos. What is Adam? What is Lillith? What is the Human Instrumentality Project? All of what will sound like gibberish to the non-fan, I now understand. I get the religious references and the general messages that the property revolves around. And surprisingly - I like it all. I like the concepts a lot. It’s really HOW Evangelion gets there that is kind of......bullshit. There’s so much homework to do in order to get there. I had to have my friends sit me down and explain me through it. I watched YouTube videos that recap the series and its timelines. I’ve had to delve into all the character wiki bios. At what point is your story effective as a story anymore when you have to do so much extracurricular work in order for it to communicate?

And I’m not going to lie. Evangelion is kind of a chore - not a joy. Granted, much of the original anime series is entertaining, kick-ass, and thought provoking throughout. But even having to suffer the 46 minute finale and the 1 hour, 30 min run time of the follow up movie End of Evangelion (which is honestly - the worst thing ever) felt like an inescapable time loop that refused to die. 

I love this property! I’m pretty sure I also really hate it. And sometimes, I look back and still feel confused, even though I did everything in my power to grasp it all. All of these things are true. I’m just so conflicted...

But I think it’s exactly this polarizing effect that makes Evangelion one of the most interesting properties that I’ve come across. And I fully understand why it’s the quintessential anime for anime lovers. It pushes the storytelling in a way that I feel only anime fans would ever put up with. I would not encourage it as an anime entry point for any sane person. But I do feel that there is some merit in the emotional reaction it prompts from its viewers. Whether that’s “I love Evangelion so much!” or “I hate this stupid pretentious bullshit show so much!” - at least it can say it is wholly unique, and it provokes a strong reaction. Either way.

So........... What’s the take away? Do I recommend it? I guess. I strongly recommend it. To some people? To not watch it? Or to watch it? What’s the question again? What is life? What is existence? What is the human condition? What matters anymore? What is this review? (There’s Evangelion in a nutshell - LOL) PS) The Evangelion Rebuild Series is a totally different story in that it’s incredible throughout. Now please stick the landing...because if you don’t, I’m not sure that I have the willpower to do weird, incoherent endings. FOR THE THIRD GOD DAMN TIME.

[the-desolated-quill]

The Quill Seal Of Approval Awards - The Best of 2018

Hello and welcome, dear reader, to the greatest, most important awards ceremony in the history of entertainment. The Quill Seal Of Approval Awards. The award of recognition that everyone on Earth covets even though they don’t know it. For the Quill Seal Of Approval is a most esteemed prize for hard work and artistry. Better than the Golden Globes, more prestigious than the BAFTAs and guaranteed to be more diverse than the Academy Awards. You know your film, novel, TV show or video game has achieved legendary status when some random nobody on the internet says it’s the best in some obscure top 10 list that’s read by only a couple of people. That’s the true sign of success.

First, a few parish notices. Obviously this is my subjective opinion, so if you disagree with my choices, that’s fine. Go make your own list. (also remember that my opinion is 100% objective, scientific, factual and literal truth and anyone who disagrees is clearly a philistine and a dummy and a poopy-head whose mum smells of elderberries). Also please bear in mind that I haven’t been able to experience everything 2018 has to offer for one reason or another. In other words, please don’t be upset that A Star Is Born isn’t on this list. I’m sure it’s as amazing as everyone says it is. I just never got around to watching it.

Okay. Let us begin.

Inside No. 9 - Series 4

BBC2′s Inside No. 9, written by the League of Gentlemen’s Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith, is an anthology series that’s often sadly overlooked, but it’s really worth a watch if you’re into shows like Black Mirror and The Twilight Zone, and this series in particular has been fantastic. We’ve had an episode written entirely in iambic pentameter, an episode whose chronology runs backwards, a live episode that really plays around with the format, episodes containing tragic and biting satire, and one especially twisted episode that brings out a side of Steve Pemberton we’ve never seen before. Series 4 has been a real treat from start to finish, with each episode beautifully written and expertly performed. Inside No. 9 deserves to share the same pedestal as Black Mirror, no question.

Black Panther

I’m sure everyone knows about my less than flattering views on the Marvel Cinematic Universe by now, which is what made Black Panther such a breath of fresh air for me. Stripping away all the convoluted crap, Black Panther has often been compared to The Dark Knight, and for good reason. Like The Dark Knight, this movie uses the superhero genre to tackle real social and political issues. In Black Panther’s case, exploring just what it means to be black in the modern world. Boasting an impressive cast of black actors, strong female characters, an engaging and complex antagonist, fantastic special effects and truly excellent direction from Ryan Coogler, Black Panther represents a new benchmark for Marvel, the superhero genre and the film industry in general. It proves how important and how lucrative diversity and representation in media can be, and it unintentionally shows how flawed the Marvel business model has become. The reason behind Black Panther’s success is simple. It’s because it’s bloody brilliant. And the reason it’s bloody brilliant is because Coogler was allowed to realise his own creative vision without Kevin Feige and Mickey Mouse breathing down his neck. Perhaps they should take note of that in future.

Deadpool 2

Of course Deadpool 2 is going to be on this list. Are you really surprised?

The Merc with the Mouth goes from strength to strength in the rare instance where the sequel is actually as good as, if not better than, the original. The first Deadpool was a great origin story for the character, but Deadpool 2 felt like an adventure ripped straight from the comics themselves. Crass, ultra violent and hysterically funny, Deadpool 2 is the crowning jewel of the X-Men franchise. Fan favourites such as Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Colossus return as well as new characters such as Domino, played by the exceptional Zazie Beetz, Cable, played by the astounding Josh Brolin, and Firefist, played by Julian Dennison who deserves all the success in the world because good God this kid can act!

But of course the star of the film is Deadpool himself with Ryan Reynolds once again proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that he understands this character back to front. Not only is he hysterically funny, capturing the character’s irreverent tone perfectly, he also absolutely nails the tragic underpinnings of Deadpool that make him such a wonderful character. In between the f-bombs and gore are moments of real drama and emotional pathos as the film tackles themes such as loss, discrimination, abuse and suicidal depression. All this whilst taking the piss out of 2017′s Logan. 

Oh yeah, and it also features the first openly LGBT superheroes in cinematic history. Fuck you Disney! NegaYukio and Poololosus for the win! LOL! No, but seriously, now that you have the rights to X-Men back, if you try and censor Deadpool in any way, shape or form, I will kick your arse.

God Of War (2018)

“BOY!”

Yes Kratos is back, having successfully destroyed the world of Greek mythology and now has his eyes on the Norse Gods. And he has a son now. What could possibly go wrong?

Seriously though, this new God Of War is simply exquisite. While I have long admired the God Of War franchise for its interpretation and adaptation of Greek mythology, the previous games in the series have never exactly been the most sophisticated when it comes to storytelling (and the less said about the casual sexism, the better. Yes Sony, I promise I understand the thematic reasons behind playing a minigame that allows you to have sex with Aphrodite in God Of War 3, but it still doesn’t change the fact that it’s sexist as shit). God Of War 2018 changes all that with an intelligent and engaging story that allows us understand and connect with Kratos at a more personal level than we’ve ever done before. Taking place years after God Of War 3, Kratos is older, wiser and trying to raise his son Atreus in the hopes that he won’t make the same mistakes Kratos did in his past. Not only is the story amazing, continuing the franchise’s themes of vengeance and the strained relationships between parents and their children, the gameplay is also a ton of fun with many memorable moments and boss fights.

And as an added bonus, we get two strong female characters that aren’t treated like discardable sex objects. That was nice of them.

Incredibles 2

The long awaited sequel to The Incredibles finally arrived in 2018 and it did not disappoint. Incredibles 2 was everything I could have wanted and more. Continuing on from the events of the first movie, we see Elastigirl take the spotlight as she fights the Screenslaver whilst trying to persuade the worlds’ governments to lift the ban on superheroes. Meanwhile Mr. Incredible takes a back seat as he tries to reconnect with his kids Violet, Dash and Jack-Jack and prove he can be a good, supportive dad. 

Continuing to draw inspiration from Fantastic Four, X-Men and Watchmen, Incredibles 2 is... well... incredible. Expanding the world he created, Brad Bird tells a smart, funny and compelling story that stands head and shoulders above the majority of superhero movie fodder we get nowadays. Elastigirl flourishes in the lead role this time around and the kids get a lot more development, the Screenslaver is a great villain that compliments the themes of the franchise wonderfully, and we get to see a whole bunch of new characters such as Voyd and the Deavor siblings as well as the return of old favourites like Frozone and Edna Mode. 

Honestly, the baby alone is worth the price of admission. Hopefully we won’t have to wait another fourteen years for Incredibles 3.

Marvel’s Spider-Man

Marvel’s Spider-Man is an amazing game. But of course you knew that already. It’s made by Insomniac Games, the same guys behind Ratchet & Clank. Of course it was going to be brilliant.

Simply put, this game does for Spider-Man what the Arkham games did for Batman. Not only is it a great game with brilliant combat and fun web swinging mechanics, it also has a great story worthy of the wall crawler. Unlike the movies, which seem to continuously yank Peter Parker back into high school with each new reboot as those the poor bastard were attached to the fucker on a bungee rope, this Spidey has been fighting crime for eight years. With great power comes many responsibilities as we see him struggle to juggle crime fighting, his new job as a scientist, his commitments to helping Aunt May at the F.E.A.S.T shelter and trying to win his ex Mary Jane Watson back after a six month split. It’s a brilliant story featuring many classic villains such as Shocker and Electro as well as lesser known villains like Screwball and the criminally underrated Mister Negative who finally gets to be the central antagonist in a Spider-Man adaptation. It’s fun to play, engaging, dramatic and really emotional at points. I cried real tears at the end. What a punch to the gut that was.

OOOOOH! And we might be getting to play as Miles Morales in the sequel! I sure hope so! :D

The Grinch

At this point I imagine many of you are scratching your heads. 

“Really Quill? The Grinch? Illumination’s The Grinch? This deserves the Quill Seal Of Approval? Are you sure?” Yes dear reader, I’m absolutely sure. Just hear me out.

It’s true that the majority of Dr Seuss adaptations are shit. While the live action version of the Grinch starring Jim Carrey has a cult following and is fondly remembered by some, it’s still pretty crap, and even Illumination themselves screwed up royally with their adaptation of The Lorax. But this new Grinch is truly excellent. For starters, the animation is gorgeous. This is clearly the format that works best for Seuss movies. Benedict Cumberbatch does a really good job voicing the character, giving him depth and complexity beyond just being a big old meanie. The film also has something no other Seuss film has ever had before. Subtlety. Illumination have clearly learned their lesson after The Lorax. They’re no longer bashing you over the head with a moral message. They’re not trying to over-complicate a simple story by adding pointless sub-plot after pointless sub-plot. In fact the bits they do add actually feed into the main core of the narrative, as opposed to The Lorax, which just confused things. And while there are cute Minion-esque sidekicks like there are in a lot of Illumination films, The Grinch limits it to two (Max the dog and a reindeer named Fred), they’re both legitimately funny, serve an important narrative purpose and don’t distract from the more serious and emotional moments.

In all honesty, I was debating between giving the Quill Seal of Approval to The Grinch or to Bumblebee (the first legitimately good Transformers movie), but I decided to go with The Grinch because of how it handles the character and the story’s message. A lot of people scoffed at the idea of giving the Grinch a back story (and to the film’s credit they don’t force the issue or over-explain where the Grinch came from) but it’s honestly what makes this new adaptation of The Grinch so special to me. He’s gone from being a Scrooge-like monster to an anxiety filled misanthrope who associates Christmas with being alone. It may sound like a jarring change on paper, but in practice it honestly works so well and adds a whole new dimension to the Grinch. It’s treated with absolute care and sincerity and the film really earns its emotional moments, particularly at the end when we see the Grinch sit down to have Christmas dinner with the Whos.

If you haven’t already, I highly recommend you give this new Grinch a chance. You might be pleasantly surprised :)

Doctor Who - Series 11

A woman?! In the TARDIS?! How absurd!

Jodie Whittaker made history as the first woman to play the Doctor and the new series doesn’t disappoint. Whittaker is predictably brilliant in the role, giving the character compassion, charm and wit. We also get a new bunch of companions (including the always brilliant Bradley Walsh as Graham) who all have some great moments in Series 11 and the relationships they form with each other is incredibly touching and fun to watch. But the writing, my God, the writing. Admittedly not every episode has been perfect, but it’s leagues above anything Moffat has given us during his disastrous reign. The majority of Series 11 has been well written and intelligent, tackling important and relevant social issues (something Doctor Who has always been doing and anyone who says otherwise is an idiot) and focusing on likeable and relatable characters rather than convoluted series arcs. We got to meet Rosa Parks, witness the partition of India, and ponder on the dangers of automation whilst the Doctor tries to save the world from bubble wrap. Oh, and the Daleks are scary again! I know! I couldn’t believe it either!

What makes this all the more remarkable is who the showrunner is. Chris Chibnall. A writer I’ve often criticised in the past for being derivative and shit, and yet somehow he’s managed to create some of the best Doctor Who I’ve seen in a long time. Not only has his writing improved dramatically since his Torchwood days, he’s also demonstrated a commitment to having diverse representation both in front of and behind the camera as well as in the scripts themselves. For the first time in what feels like an age, Doctor Who feels like Doctor Who again, and I’m ecstatically happy.

Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse

How come we don’t see many animated superhero movies in the cinema? Considering the medium from which superheroes came from, you’d think it would be a no-brainer. Presumably it’s because Disney have got such a strangle hold on the animation market, but that’s hopefully going to change thanks to Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse (or, Sony’s Repentance for The Emoji Movie).

Let’s get the obvious out of the way. The animation is gorgeous. It’s pretty much an animated comic book and it stands out as one of the most unique looking animated films in recent memory. Spider-Verse is essentially a love letter to the legacy of Spider-Man as we see multiple different versions of Spidey, including Spider-Gwen, Spider-Ham and Nicholas Cage as Ghost Rider cosplaying as Spider-Man Noir, demonstrating not only the sheer variety of Spider-Men we’ve had over the years, but also exploring what connects them together. With all these different interpretations across many different universes, the idea of Spider-Man comes to the same thing. An ordinary person who experiences tragedy and becomes something greater. It’s hopeful and inspirational in a way Spider-Man films hasn’t been for a while now (Spider-Man: Homecoming sucked donkey balls. Period).

But let’s not forget that while the film explores the Spider-Verse, the main focus is Miles Morales who finally makes his cinematic debut. Not only is it a very faithful adaptation of Ultimate Spider-Man’s origin story, Miles himself is such a great central character for the modern age and arguably has more relevance to today than Peter Parker does. The characters are funny and relatable and the story is expertly crafted and impactful. But then what do you expect from the writers and directors of The Lego Movie? (if only Disney hadn’t interfered with Solo: A Star Wars Story. We could have had it all).

Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle

This one kind of snuck up on me toward the end of December, but I knew the moment I saw it I had to include it on this list.

Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle is an adaptation of The Jungle Book with Andy Serkis making his directorial debut. Yes the same guy who did the motion capture for Gollum in Lord Of The Rings and Caesar in the rebooted Planet Of The Apes movies and who totes deserves an Oscar for Best Actor (fuck you Academy Awards!), and he brings this same motion capture technology to this film. Unlike Disney’s Jungle Book, which merely rehashes the original animated film whilst somehow stripping all the charm from it, Mowgli sticks closer to the original Rudyard Kipling book. This isn’t a cheery musical. This film is often dark and intense as we see Mowgli (played wonderfully by Rohan Chand) struggle to find his place in the world. He knows he doesn’t belong with the animals in the jungle, but he doesn’t really fit in with the world of man neither. It’s an emotional and dramatic character piece brought to life by great writing, great acting and stunning special effects. 

Andy Serkis has expressed a desire to do an adaptation of George Orwell’s Animal Farm, and after watching this movie, I would love to see that. If you haven’t already, go watch Mowgli: Legend Of The Jungle. It’s available to stream on Netflix and it’s truly amazing.

And that’s it for 2018. Congratulations to the winners of this year’s Quill Seal Of Approval Awards. Unfortunately we’re on a limited budget here on The Desolated Quill, so I can’t offer any sort of trophy or medal or anything. What I can do though is write the words ‘I’m an awesome cookie’ on a post-it note and stick it on your forehead. Will that do?

[grimelords]

My May playlist is finished and it’s got everything from Rachmaninoff to Peaches across 3 and a half hours, I hope you enjoy it.

If The Car Beside You Moves Ahead - James Blake: James Blake has got such a big brain and this song is unbelievable. He has such a way of taking things that could be gimmicky like this vocal stuttering, or looping vocals and making them totally heartrending.

The Boxer - The Chemical Brothers: The central melody of this song is constantly stuck in my head and complete proof that you can make an incredibly catchy hook with just three notes if you need to.

known(1) - Autechre: I think this is maybe Autechre's most straightforward song but it still sounds like a harpsichord concerto getting sucked into a black hole. The way the violin-ish part swoops around throughout the whole thing, disintegrating and reforming before your eyes is hypnotising.

Sundown - Boards Of Canada: Guess who started crying this month listening to an ambient Boards Of Canada song thinking about how the end of soil is within my lifetime and we have destroyed our only home the earth!!

Do I Wanna Know? - Arctic Monkeys: With their new album coming out I went back and listened to AM for the first time in a while and it's still really astonishing what they pulled off. This and R U Mine? completely blew me away when they came out. Having the audacity to completely change your sound and style and have it work perfectly is amazing, and then disappearing for five years and trying to do it again? Bold.

FML - Kanye West: I was listening to this a lot when Kanye was off his lexapro and fucking his whole life up. And now there's a sequel to this on the new album where Kim's begging him not to fuck the money up, which I think is a very good kind of storytelling.

United P92 - Venetian Snares & Daniel Lanois: I love the idea of ambient Venetian Snares and this is the song on the album where their two ideas meet in the middle the best I think. Also the way this builds and builds into total chaos I always forget that it's coming and get surprised when it says 'the machine can cum', what a funny song.

Turnstile Blues - Autolux: I saw Autolux's drummer in Jack White's band when he played on SNL a couple of weeks ago and suddenly remembered how perfect this song is. A true testament to the power of a simple groove that sounds like it was recorded in a concrete garage.

Young For Eternity - The Subways: Yet another great song about being a vampire and all the benefits that vampirism can bring to your life! Thank god for Dracula! He sucked the shit out of me, now I can leave my work for nights and leave my days for sleeping! Young for eternity!

Oh Yeah - The Subways: I bought a 7" of this song a couple of weeks ago in honour of the time it inexplicably caused me a mental breakdown and made me sprint out of my house to drive around town crying and listening to it on repeat for some hours about 5 years ago. Not sure what that was about!

The Blues - Defeater: As far as songs that go for less than a minute go, I really can't fault this one. Pure power, it does absolutely everything it sets out to do and still manages to get two choruses in under the wire.

Bombay - El Guincho: I saw Holy Mountain this month in a double feature with El Topo, and although El Topo kind of sucked I loved The Holy Mountain a lot. There's a part where there's been a battle and a whole lot of protesters are dying on the ground bleeding, except you can see that the blood and guts are obviously special effects, you can see the hose that she's using to pretend to cry and the guts are green balloons and things like that. Hold on I found it on youtube anyway I know I've seen it before and I thought it was in the video to this song or another one of CANADA's videos but I watched them all and can't find it! If anyone can tell me the music video I'm thinking of, thankyou. This song is also, of course, good.

Swim Good - Frank Ocean: Honestly has there ever been a better song about wearing a cool suit and driving your car into the ocean?? Never. This is perhaps the best sing along song ever because you've got to do your smoothest voice ever until he does his little emo yells of 'I'm goin out!' near the end.

Batphone - Arctic Monkeys: I think this is my favourite song off the new Arctive Monkeys, it's the most '3am slamming away at a club piano' type vibe of them all, but most of all I love the little spiralling into space guitar noise that keeps happening whenever he finishes a line.

An Open Letter To NYC - Beastie Boys: I'm almost always thinking about the time Beastie Boys made a very serious song about how good New York is after 9/11 and they said 'dear New York I know a lot has changed, we're two towers down but we're still in the game'.

Black Car - Beach House: I can't get enough of the new Beach House album, and this song in particular. It's some of my favourite lyrics of theirs ever, a good song for when you're trapped in a dark labyrinth of your own creation.

Midnight Radio 1 - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: Got quite heavily into Bohren & Der Club Of Gore again this month. This is from the album before they got rid of their guitarist and replaced him with a saxophonist, which pretty dramatically changed their sound from 'extremely brooding night music' to 'film noir soundtrack', which is still very good but really not the same. Anyway this song goes for 20 minutes and it feels illegal to listen to it any time before 2am.

House In LA - Jungle: I am so excited that Jungle are finally back and with such an amazing song too. I love how spacious this is, it feels very different to their first - a lot more grown up and I really can't wait for the album.

Lemonworld - The National: Someone had a tweet a while ago that was like 'the guy from the national sounds like he's been going through a divorce for ten years now' which is very true, but this song feels like it's from happier times when he went to see his sister in law and had an morosely horny time. This song feels like the entire experience of reading a literary novel condensed into 4 minutes: a depressed older man in New York having a sort of backwards, confusing sexual thought. This is a song I regularly listen to on repeat and sing along to, it's a very specific feeling and I think "it'll take a better war to kill a college man like me" is one of the best lines he's ever written.

Rigamortis - Zomby: I put off listening to the new Zomby album for so long because his last one was just so boring but he's completely redeemed himself on this, it's really something. It feels like one long piece, which is amazing when any sort of thematic coherence is a rarity for Zomby albums. There's a lot of recurring sounds and motifs, and almost zero drums in the traditional sense. It feels like a really mature reflection on grime that he's been building up to for years.

Indoors - Burial: Whereas this song sounds like you're waiting outside a club in hell.

Segeln Ohne Wind - Bohren & Der Club Of Gore: Another Bohren song but from much, much later. I love the way the brass sounds in this when it finally comes in, it's so rich and overpowering.

Isle Of The Dead - Segei Rachmaninoff: Wikipedia says "The piece was inspired by a black and white reproduction of Arnold Böcklin's painting, Isle of the Dead, which Rachmaninoff saw in Paris in 1907. Rachmaninoff was disappointed by the original painting when he later saw it, saying, "If I had seen first the original, I, probably, would have not written my Isle of the Dead. I like it in black and white." and it also says "Prints were very popular in central Europe in the early 20th century—Vladimir Nabokov observed in his novel Despair that they could be "found in every Berlin home". Folks what is going on with this spooky painting.

Been Caught Stealing - Jane's Addiction: For a long time this was the emergency dead air song on Triple J, which is an inspired choice in my opinion because there'd be ten seconds of eerie silence because something's gone wrong at the station and then suddenly two huge loud chords! and dogs barking! A BEEN CAUGHT STEEL IN! ONCE!

Sledgehammer - Peter Gabriel: I was sitting on the toilet when I saw a news article that said Peter Gabriel has finally made his music available on Spotify and I said 'yessssssss' loudly myself and then played Sledgehammer. Honorable mention to the best ever sample of this song in Contemporary Man by Action Bronson, which is unfortunately still unavailable on Spotify.

Reaching The Gulf - Dylan Carlson: I saw a review of this album saying Dylan Carlson is the only choice for soundtrack if they ver make a movie of Blood Meridian and they're completely right. I'm also so glad that he collaborated with Emma Ruth Rundle on this, it feels like the closest I'll get to bonus tracks to her Electric Guitar One album.

T-1000 - Swarms: I have no idea where or why I first heard this album but it's been in my rotation for a long time. It's in the general canon of post-Burial dubstep before dubstep got americanized and it's just very nice. When the vocals finally come in on this it's a very emotional moment for me.

Casino Trem - Tyondai Braxton: It's really surprising listening to Tyondai Braxton's work after Battles because he has such a distinct melodic style it's shocking to realise how much he brought to that first album. After listening to a lot of his solo stuff it becomes so recognisable it almost feels like you can go back through Mirroroed and pick out every single guitar line of his making. Anyway this song is great. Starts out sounding like what it feels like to be trapped in a pokie and ends up like you're trapped in a databent Banjo Kazooie cartridge.

Kick It - Peaches & Iggy Pop: The first time I ever heard this song, and the first time I ever heard of Peaches or Iggy Pop was on the soundtrack to Midnight Club 3 so I didn't really know what the fuck was going on. I still don't really. I love that this is supposed to be like a dangerous sexy song but the whole time Iggy Pop is just rebuffing her advances and bullying her. Then she's like 'go to berlin' and then the song ends. Still not sure what this one's about still!

If You Know You Know - Pusha T: GOD this song is good, I've been listening to it on repeat. What I love about Pusha T is where a lot of other rappers talk sort of frivolously about drug dealing and everything, he often feels like he's putting his hand on your shoulder and looking you straight in the eyes saying 'I am not fucking around. If you need drugs of any calibre or kind I can get them for you in massive quantities.' The impish way he's saying 'if you know you know', absolutely kills me, like he's a cartoon man winking at me while hiding drugs inside a tennis ball.

Hacker - Death Grips: I think I put this on my playlist last month but I'm still on it so. My new favourite part of this song is when he says "The table's flipped now we got all the coconuts bitch / Burmese babies under each arm / Screaming beautiful songs".

Cavity - Hundred Waters: Hundred Waters feel like a really underrated band to me, I've been listening to their last two album a lot this month and they're just stunning. The long build up towards the end before the two note melody comes back and kills me? What a moment.

Music For The Long Emergency - Polica: I didn't love this album when it came out but I've been listening to it more and more and it's really growing on me. I think I put this song on a playlist a month or two ago so I won't write more but let me say this: Polica rules.

On The Grid - Lime: tfw you turn the knob and you do a good job and you wind up on the grid :/

Elephants - Them Crooked Vultures: I feel like Them Crooked Vultures gets forgotten when people talk about Queens Of The Stone Age albums. People bring up Desert Sessions and Kyuss but somehow forget that this giant album happened. Anyway this is far and away the best song on it because it just keeps on giving and giving. It's just a huge jam about riding an elephant and having cool hair(?).

Particle - Hundred Waters: This song feels like it could be the EDM hit of the summer if it was structured slightly differently, but instead it's the biggest brain pop song I've heard in a long time. I love how much power the bass has in this, it really feels impactful when it comes and goes. The vocal performance is obviously incredible as always but I really love the distorted vocal line that sort of tears itself apart now and then, against how clean everything else in this song sounds it really makes it.

Me Or Us - Young Thug: Thinking hard about when Young Thug sampled First Day Of My Life by Bright Eyes and made it into a really really good song.

Because I Love You - Montaigne: God this song is good. All the time the lyric 'I ate a salad today, I ate one yesterday too' pops into my head and makes me laugh. She tweeted about this song a couple of days ago and it really made me laugh: "My ex-boyfriend & I once watched BBC Sherlock & during the ep he paused & basically soliloquised about how he’s a tortured genius just like Sherlock & I’m his Watson in as condescending a way as you’re probably imagining then poured a shot of whiskey & now you know the story"​

listen here

[mst3kproject]

Attack of the Puppet People

This is the other movie Bert I. Gordon namedropped in Earth vs the Spider.  The screenplay was by John Worthing Yates, a guy who has a name that sounds like a Byronic poet but mostly wrote giant bug movies.  It stars June Kenney from that movie and Bloodlust!, John Hoyt from Lost Continent and The Time Travellers, and yep, John Agar.  The title is pretty much a lie, too – unless it refers to Agar tearing the head off a marionette.

Dolls Incorporated is a small toy company in Los Angeles.  The owner, Mr. Franz, needs a new secretary and hires Sally Reynolds, who is fresh out of college and has no family – an interesting choice, especially when we discover his previous secretary has vanished without a trace.  Sally soon notices that Mr. Franz has a weird habit of treating his dolls like real people, and comes to worry about his mental health.  When a salesman, Bob Wesley, asks her to marry him she is more than happy to leave the unnerving Mr. Franz behind, but Mr. Franz does not intend to let her.  With some technobabble and a contraption made out of photography equipment, he shrinks both Bob and Sally down to Barbie size to join his collection of human dolls! Somehow they must make their way back up to his office in order to un-shrink themselves, but it’s a very long way when you’re only a foot tall.

(The point of including clips from The Amazing Colossal Man, by the way, appears to have been a ham-fisted bit of foreshadowing with the line I’m not growing – you’re shrinking!  Which… okay, sure, if that made everybody feel better about the shameless self-promotion.)

The movie was made very quickly in order to capitalize on The Incredible Shrinking Man and I have to say, it puts significant effort into not being merely a ripoff. It’s not nearly as ambitious as its model in terms of special effects, but it has much more plot, being an actual story rather than a psychological study, although it does some of that, too.  I suspect that this was an idea that either Gordon or Yates had sitting around anyway and they welcomed the excuse to put it into production.

In terms of its story, this is actually one of Bert I. Gordon’s better efforts.  Like The Amazing Colossal Man, it tries to explore character a little rather than just being a monster rampage, and the character it’s interested in is Mr. Franz’.  He’s a deeply lonely man who feels everybody he cares about abandons him – starting with his wife, who ran off with a boyfriend long ago – and therefore goes to great lengths to keep them.  This obsession has grown worse and worse, until now people he’s only known a few weeks are subject to his captivity.  When he believes the police are on to him, he decides to commit suicide and take all his prisoners with him, because even in death he cannot bear to leave them behind.

The movie does occasionally waste our time, as in the sequence where one of the human dolls is commanded to sing, but not very often. Things like the tiny cat, or Sally’s efforts to go to the police, seem like sidelines but later turn out to be quite important.  My favourite part is when Franz is forced to leave his little people unsupervised when a friend drops in on him with a lengthy story to tell – he knows he can’t leave them alone for too long but he also doesn’t want to be rude to his buddy, so he keeps trying to make excuses and things get more and more awkward.  I’m pretty sure any introvert can identify with the situation, even those of us who are not mad scientists.

Attack of the Puppet People also has some of the better effects shots I’ve ever seen in Bert I. Gordon.  The dolls in their cases are nothing but paper cut-outs, always carefully held face-on to the camera in an attempt to preserve the illusion, and there are very visible seams around a miniature cat in Franz’ hands, but the images of tiny people interacting with oversized objects are actually pretty good.  There’s one of tiny Sally on a desk, with a telephone in front of her and Mr. Franz leaning in to talk to her, that’s almost seamless – the only place the illusion breaks is that he’s not quite actually looking at her. Quite a few of the oversized objects, like the telephone or coffee tin one woman uses as a bathtub, must have been specially made for the movie, and they’re detailed and convincing. The best is the oversize puppet the characters have to interact with. It really does look like something small, magnified.

The performances in the movie, on the other hand, are some of the worst I’ve seen even in a Bert I. Gordon film.  Everybody picks one note and sticks to it.  John Hoyt had been in Julius Caesar (although he’d also been in The Conqueror) and would go on to be in Spartacus (and Flesh Gordon), but here he just gives us the exact same Valium-laced smile throughout the whole movie.  Sometimes it’s creepy, lending credence to Sally’s early suspicion that Franz is a serial killer, but mostly it’s just annoying.  The long scene of technobabble while he explains how his shrinking machine works is insufferable.  June Kenney gives her usually slightly over-wrought reads that sound like a high school’s production of Shakespeare.

Then of course there’s John Agar.  His character is written as kind of a jerk, but in ways that were probably acceptable for white men in the 50’s.  His physical performance, on the other hand, makes you want to see Sally kick him repeatedly in the nuts.  He looms over her, follows a foot behind her when she is clearly uncomfortable with this, and touches her when she does not want to be touched.  Nowadays all this would earn him a restraining order but in this old movie it’s apparently supposed to be romantic.  Then there’s the way he laughs at her when she confesses that she’s slightly afraid of Mr. Franz.  How the hell did he ever persuade her to go out with him, let alone marry him?  And who fucking proposes in the middle of The Amazing Colossal Man?!

When Sally believes Bob has run off on her, she protests to Mr. Franz, “Bob wouldn’t treat me this way if he could help it!”  The audience just rolls their eyes, because they’ve already seen Bob treat her far worse.  We’ll see him do worse again, too, when he persuades Sally to abandon the others at the theatre even though they know that Franz will kill them if he finds them.

Besides Mr. Franz’ pathological fear of losing people close to him, the other place the movie goes in exploring its characters psychology is a form of Stockholm Syndrome.  When Bob and Sally meet the other ‘dolls’, they discover that their fellow prisoners have resigned themselves to their fate.  Mr. Franz mostly keeps them in jars and occasionally lets them out to party, and they’ve decided to look at it as if they’re on a sort of permanent vacation, just enjoying the party without worrying about things they don’t believe they can change.  The only rebellion apparent is the teenage girl, Lori, refusing to sing on command – and she changes her mind in a hurry when Franz threatens to put her back in her bottle.

They aren’t totally brainwashed, though.  When a chance to escape presents itself, they all pitch in to help.  The moral of the story, insofar as it seems to have one, is that freedom is better than slavery even when the slaves are well-treated and have everything taken care of for them.  The little people don’t need to work, they don’t need to pay taxes, and Mr. Franz sees to all their needs, but they are still prisoners.  Real life may be difficult and full of worries and responsibilities, but it’s better than being kept in a box!

Bert I. Gordon never used women as heroes, in the sense of actually doing anything to save the day, but it’s kind of interesting how frequently he used them as point-of-view characters.  Sally in Attack of the Puppet People joins Audrey Aimes in Beginning of the End and Joyce Manning in War of the Colossal Beast as a female lead through whose eyes we’re watching all this happen.  Male characters may be more active and heroic, but they are secondary in terms of screen time and audience identification.  I wonder if this were something intentional or not, and either way, what it might reveal about his storytelling.

Is it feminist?  I don’t think so.  In many of Gordon’s films, the characters feel helpless in the face of more powerful forces: the grasshoppers of Beginning of the End overrun the military easily, Joyce and her problem are handed around like a hot potato by people who don’t care, and even Glenn Manning is a powerless victim of his own growth.  Perhaps the choice of a passively watching woman rather than an actively heroic man as the main character is supposed to add to this.  Audrey Aimes might be the best example, in that her job, as a reporter, is to observe and record, rather than to intervene.  Consider The Magic Sword, in which Princess Helene watches her own rescue attempts in the magic mirror, while Sir George’s transition to manhood is represented by him leaving mere watching behind and actually getting involved in the events he has observed.  Or Necromancy, in which Lori Brandon is left watching herself in Mr. Cato’s thrall.  Heck with Manos, I could write a thesis on this.

If I had to pick a Stinger Moment for this movie, it would be the tiny people gathered around a huge telephone while Bob exclaims, “the police!  Does anyone know the number?”  At the time this wouldn’t have been a joke at all – 911 came into wide use only in the early 1960’s, but from a modern viewer it earns a snicker, and it would definitely have been funny in the UK, where 999 had been around since the 30’s. There’s your random fact for the day.

[minaminokyoko]

Favourite avengers movies scenes?

How on earth do you expect me to ever narrow down enough to not list the entire trilogy in general? Holy hell. I am a big fat Marvel fangirl and I could write a fucking dissertation on scenes complete with charts and graphs. For the sake of argument, let me see if I can at the very least just highlight the tippy top favorite moments from the first three Avengers films. Keep in mind, I fucking love all three of them to death and could rave about them for days at a time.

The Avengers

-Loki’s confrontation with Nick Fury. This scene sets the tone for the rest of the film so fucking well, man. It’s just brilliantly done to see that whatever humanity that we saw in Loki in Thor has pretty much flown out the window and he’s here to wreak havoc and start a war, and he doesn’t care how many people he destroys in the process. I also like that it shows the vast gap in power and experience between the SHIELD agents and an Asgardian. Loki all but flattens everyone in a matter of seconds. Seeing him among other Asgardians can kind of make you forget he’s literally a thousand year old god and is tough as nails. He’s also low down and ruthless and that’s the kind of thing that is scary as hell when you realize that’s what they’re all up against.

-Nat’s “interrogation” with the Russians. I actually love every single Avenger’s introduction scene, but this one is so delightful in that Nat shows us just why she is an Avenger even though she has no enhanced abilities: deception, manipulation, and just being an incredibly agile combat expert. I am most delighted with her scene because before Avengers, I had no regard for Nat at all and thought she was just fanservice, but here, she completely proved her worth as a character and to the team, and I got on board as a fan of her just from her opening scene wiping the floor with these idiot Russian dudes.

-Tony and Bruce getting to know each other in the lab. From a character standpoint, this is an outstanding scene. Tony is trying to draw Bruce out of his shell, and the sympathy and empathy he has for him is so palpable that it’s why we all dubbed them the Science Bros and why it’s one of the best friendships in the Avengers. Tony is so awesome for joking with Bruce and treating him like a normal person and reminding him that there is at least one person aboard that helicarrier who doesn’t see him as some terrifying monster and knows just from reading up on him that he’s not a bad person. It’s so charming and wonderful.

-Stuttgart. Man. Man, oh man, this is a well done scene. The build up to Loki’s horrifying actions is so great and so is this freaking diva’s grandstanding once he demands the poor, confused Germans kneel before him. It’s fascinating to me because Loki has an almost childlike need for attention, as if his frustrations with his failure to take over Asgard as king has manifested itself into this very basic need to be acknowledged as being a powerful threat. Loki could kill an average human being with a flick of his wrist. His comparison of “an ant has no quarrel with a boot” while cruel is accurate, but here’s the thing, Loki: if you fuck with enough fucking ants, you can get your ass into a lot of trouble, and we’re fireants, not sugar ants, buddy. And ants who band together get shit done. The old man who stood up to him, in my book, is a fucking hero all on his own and I think it’s one of the most well crafted pieces of dialogue in the entire MCU. “There are no men like me.” “There are always men like you.” Oh, standing ovation for that piece of dialogue. Give it an Oscar. Then Cap swinging in to kick ass and Tony swooping in beside him with an equally over the top entrance to Loki’s was the icing on the fucking cake.

-Thor retrieving Loki. Hnnnnnnngh, okay, so here’s the thing: I fucking love Thor and Loki’s relationship even before Ragnarok came out and upgraded it. Thor is and always has been since his first movie a man with very deep emotions who loves and loves deeply with all his heart, and his confrontation with Loki just wounds me so much. How Thor throws Loki to the ground and yet yanks him to his feet and just holds him there, his hand on his face, looking so torn between agony and relief that his brother is alive. “I thought you dead.” “Did you mourn?” Fuck me, this scene is absolutely brutal to my feels. Thor and Loki’s debate was nothing short of excellent as Thor tries to bring Loki around, and the thing is, he means it. He means every fucking word, that he would take the Tesseract and bring his brother home, and he doesn’t care about facing the music, he just wants his goddamn brother back even after all Loki has done so far in the story. Y’all better stop sleeping on Thor, man. His heart is by far the best thing about him, forget all the delicious muscles and that perfect teddy bear smile. Thor has miles and miles of heart, and that’s why I love this scene so much. 

-Nat tricking Loki into revealing his plan. This scene is so good I based an entire goddamn fanfic around its premise. Dude. Nat fucking Romanov, y’all. I love how this scene is staged and executed. I love Loki starting out almost gentle and conversational, as if for once he’s going to just be an actual person and not a monster, and then he slips back into that nasty egotistical megalomaniac when he thinks he has one over on Nat. And then Nat fucking schools him. It’s why I have a personal headcanon that he developed a hatecrush on her after she, a mere mortal, tricked the goddamn God of Mischief. It solidified Nat as one of my favorite female heroes forever. I loved seeing her use that feminine “weakness” to let him run his mouth. I also love that his cruel words did in fact affect her and motivated her even more to both save Clint and to go to war with Loki at the end.

-The whole ass helicarrier attack sequence. I mean, I don’t even need to go into detail. You already know. 

-Tony confronting Loki. This is the scene that assured us that what followed would be one of the greatest fight sequences in cinematic history. I pretty much have most of Tony’s dialogue memorized because it had such an effective impact on me from a storytelling standpoint. Tony standing up to Loki as a mortal man with no suit, candidly threatening him with barely suppressed rage that Loki murdered Coulson, a comrade, in cold blood, is downright amazing.

-The battle of New York. Boom. Again, no words necessary. Perfect fucking sequence from start to finish.

-Thor trying one last damn time to bring Loki around. Oh, my heart. My poor fucking heart. Thor really loves his brother and he would do anything to have him back. Is it naive? Yes. But it’s also a beautiful statement of what family truly means to Thor and it breaks my heart. The fact that a tear slides down Loki’s face when he stabs Thor and mutters, “Sentiment” is so not cool. As much as Loki pretends to be the Big Bad Wolf, there is something still young and human inside of him even though he pretends it isn’t there. All my creys.

-Hulk trouncing Loki. I went and saw The Avengers three times in theaters, and two out of the three times, everyone cheered so loud I didn’t hear the Hulk say “puny god” over all the noise. It was that satisfying a scene.

Age of Ultron

-The entire beginning sequence. Fucking loved it. What masterful ass-kicking and showcasing of the team dynamic. It made me want a longer lead in to how they all got reunited because it was so enjoyable. “Language!” Oh, Cap.

-Jarvis and Ultron’s first scene together. Dude. James fuckin’ Spader, man. I never knew I could be so intimidated by a man’s voice. It was so unsettling for so many reasons, the resentment, irrationality, and anger from his unusual birth and creation. It was all the more frightening when he turned on Jarvis, and at the time, we didn’t know he hadn’t killed our beloved butler. 

-Picking up Mjolnir. This scene needs no elaboration. It’s just perfection. Even people who complain about Age of Ultron admit this scene is just flawless.

-The team confronting Tony over creating Ultron. Cap’s line, which we now know goes even further after the events of Infinity War, just make me want to die. “We’ll lose.” “Then we’ll do that together, too.” Tony’s face, realizing that Cap doesn’t care that he fucked up–he cares that Tony couldn’t trust the team enough to let them in on what he was dealing with–is soul-crushing. Tony realizes he was wrong to assume instead of being honest with them. 

-The confrontation in Wakanda. Everything about it was badass and it hits you right where you live seeing the Avengers having to face their biggest regrets and most painful moments of their pasts. Especially Steve’s. The image of him and Peggy finally getting their dance was so not okay. Special props to Tony in the Hulkbuster armor. That was one hell of a fucking brawl.

-The Sokovia final battle. There are just so many awesome points in the final battle sequence, man. Everyone is out there just kicking ass and doing what they do best. Special props to Hawkeye getting through to Wanda, and Hawkeye’s “nobody would know…nobody” moment with Pietro. 

Infinity War

Disclaimer: I have no idea how to isolate moments in a movie that is by far one of the most well written comic book movies since The Dark Knight, but I guess since you asked, I have to try anyway. Hoo boy. Strap in. 

-Loki’s death. Let me explain something to you: I went entire years without caring about Loki, and then around the time The Dark World came out, I slowly became converted to both a Tom Hiddleston and a Loki fan, and then after Ragnarok, he finally just seduced me completely to being smitten with his stupid trashy self. It is important that you realize that I recognize that Loki is a selfish, inferiority complex-having, murdering bastard and I do not excuse a goddamn thing he does because of his fucking Daddy issues. That being said, in spite of how much of a flaming trashbag he is, I love him anyway, and I tried for months to tell myself that I knew as a fellow writer that Loki was going to die in Infinity War. It was assured not only from the trailer, but from me knowing that his character arc was always going to end with his death. What hurt most of all is that, as I predicted, Loki died trying to save Thor. I cried my eyes out. Hell, once Thanos closed his hand around Loki’s neck, I covered my eyes because I just didn’t have it in me to see it end this way for him and for Thor. Thor being helpless to stop it is truly what made it worse. There is nothing on heaven or earth Thor wouldn’t do for Loki, even knowing how wicked Loki is. And the fact that Loki couldn’t let Thanos kill Thor after all these two have been through was like an icepick through my heart. Loki wouldn’t have died protecting Thor if Thor had not loved him unconditionally this entire time we’ve watched their story. Thor’s love did have an effect on Loki throughout these films, and that’s why I literally burst into sobs and couldn’t bear to see him die that way. It is one of the most gut wrenching things ever put to film, and certainly in the MCU. I’ve only had the stomach to watch that scene twice because it hurts me so much, and neither time was I strong enough to actually watch Loki’s final moments. Goddamn, it’s just so painful. Capped off with Thor slowly crawling over to his brother to be with him one last time before the ship explodes and just laying his head on his chest in the kind of grief that honestly should get Hemsworth a fucking Oscar. Bravo. 

-Cap, Widow, and Falcon reuniting with Vision and Wanda. Holy shit, yes. This fight was gorgeous, gripping, and fucking awesome. Special props to Cap and Widow being the ride or die Avengers Mom and Dad team. We can infer from their actions that the two of them have been together since the end of Civil War possibly, so you can not tell me Cap and Widow are not a thing on some level. Captasha all day, err day. They perfectly compliment each other and I headcanon that they’re together and no one will convince me otherwise.

-”We’ll fight you too.”/”We don’t trade lives.” That sound you hear is me screeching. Some people have said Cap wasn’t given a ton to do this time around, and I emphatically protest it simply because, yes, he has less screentime, but man, he does so much work in this role that reminds us of why we all love Captain America. His values mean so much. Cap will lay down his life in the blink of an eye for someone who needs it. He cares so deeply. He is the pinnacle of selflessness and it’s so important to see in this film.

-Thor meeting the Guardians. Perfection. Just…perfection.

-Irondad and Spiderson aboard the Space Donut. Jesus fucking Christ, I am so on board for Irondad and Spiderson that it’s insane. I love that entire fucking interaction from start to finish. I love Tony’s strict, fatherly anger and exasperation because he just wants his baby boy to be safe on earth while he’s on another suicide mission, but the baby boy wants to help his dad out and baby boy also doesn’t quite realize the consequences because he’s too young. Extra points for Tony’s death-glare after Parker says, “It’s kind of your fault I’m here” and the fact that even the fucking cloak did a double take at Parker when he said it. Oh, it’s so perfect.

-Gamora making Peter promise to kill her if Thanos gets to her. I just…I want to die. This was so beautifully done, and so in character for both of them, and Peter and Gamora are just so soft and sweet and in love that it’s so overwhelming. At the very least, I take a small comfort in knowing that they were a happy family for four years before this shit happened to them.

-Gamora “killing” Thanos. Again, can we just award Oscars to like half the fucking cast in this movie? Jesus Christ, I cried at this scene too because the fact that she’s just completely unraveled as she finally thinks she’s killed her goddamn abuser is so deeply tragic. Gamora is my favorite Guardian. Hands down. She is so three dimensional. She tries so hard and she is so much more than the deadliest woman in the galaxy. She is so complex and it is the worst pain ever to know that Peter actually kept his promise and tried to kill her to prevent her from being in the hands of her abuser again and Thanos foiled their plan, and had the fucking nerve to say, “I like him” before he took her again. 

-”It’ll kill you.” “Only if I die.” “…yes, that’s what killing you means.” 

-The battle of Wakanda. Motherfucker. This is some A+++ motherfucking good shit hurr. What always gets me hype as hell is Cap and T’Challa sprinting down the goddamn hill at 80 mph and I just can’t even handle that shit because it was so good and satisfying. Everything about this battle was incredible.

-The battle on Titan. Same thing. It’s so creative and well crafted and amazing. You feel every blow. You flinch. You want them to beat that son of a bitch but he’s just so fucking strong. It is an incredibly engaging fight, man. Hoo boy. 

-Thor’s entrance to the battle of Wakanda. I distinctly remember the entire audience going absolutely apeshit during this scene the night Infinity War premiered. Like the first Avengers, I saw it three times in theaters, and two out of the three times, the crowd went fucking wild. That was so fucking satisfying, man, as are the neat little scenes of levity with Cap introducing himself to Groot and Cap and Thor remarking on each other’s changes in appearance. It was so pure and good and perfect.      

-Cap squaring up with Thanos. I. Can’t. Breathe. It was so powerful. Like the above scene of “we don’t trade lives,” this is why we love Captain America. Why we love Steve Rogers. This man, this mortal human man, took one goddamn fucking look at that twelve foot all powerful alien giant and said, “Not today, bitch.” Steve fucking Rogers stood there and took it. He put his life on the goddamn line for Wanda, and for Vision, and for the rest of the universe, and he actually held that goddamn line for a moment. The incredulous look on Thanos’ face is what seals it. He is utterly confused that this little man is actually holding him back, that this mere mortal doesn’t give a fuck that he can’t overpower him, but he is giving it his all because that is who he is. Steve will not quit. Steve will not falter. Steve will die doing what’s right and that is one of the most moving things in the whole MCU, imo. He just planted his feet and said, “No, you move.” I know we saw that scene in the trailer, but it was so unbelievable to see it in context that Cap gave it everything he had trying to protect Wanda and the rest of the universe, and I still get choked up just thinking about that shit. 

Welp, you asked for it and now you have it. I told you I was gonna rave, man. God bless anyone who actually read this nonsense. Marvel had me at hello with these characters and they have way too much sway over my emotions, as you can see above. Ten years, man. Ten years. 

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

Man, I wish I could write stories with foreshadowing as brilliant as Steven Universe.

tl;dr I like foreshadowing. The payoff in Steven Universe was absolutely fucking INCREDIBLE and I really envy their masterful storycrafting, but I’m not sure how to foreshadow so subtly at all actually. Or drop Big Hints without Backstory and Directly Revealing It. I’m comparing my very lore-heavy stories with SU’s Background Presence of worldbuilding, considering how that impacts my ability to Ease It In There Naturally, adn focus on character developement.... Basically, I want to do more to tie all my stories together. Continuity is sacred to me, it always has been, but I want some mystery with it-- “So THAT’S what that was about” is a feeling I really delight in, and would like to learn how to build more artfully.

The times I’ve tried, intentionally, come off as either way too silly, or, let’s be real, a little heavy-handed. Imean, my stories certainly don’t lack Plot Twists and Shocking Reveals. But a lot of the moments in my stories come as complete surprises to the CHARACTERS. So, the way I narrate, the only way I’m COMFORTABLE narrating, it feels like it’s gotta be Surprise via Narration Too. (I don’t narrate through events. I narrate through the characters.)

Unforeseen and Unforesaken has: ~ Everyone noticing Dove wearing a cloak that’s kinda like Raven’s, with some other vague resemblances. ~ Raven side-eying Dove’s powers being unleashed by emotion. And Dove knowing her name. ~ Starfire commenting on Dove being From Azarath, Like Raven.

And that’s all just in, like, the first chapter. (I mean, I wanted to Kick the Mystery of Dove’s Heritage off strong.)

But the Entire Subject of “why is Dove like this, Who Is She” kinda gets... left at the door through the rest of the story, UNTIL the Actual Reveal of “she’s Trigon’s daughter! She’s Raven’s SISTER!”

In the rewrite, I’m going to explore the fallout of that revelation a LOT more intimately.

So I have the cooldown well placed.

But I’m struggling to give it more Warm Up beforehand.

(I’m thinking, the parts where Raven is able to sympathize with her, kind of illustrates that mystery a little? Draws a connection between them?)

But then again, maybe exploring who Dove is as an INDIVIDUAL is more important than her relationship to Raven, too...

Mmmmaybe in the Grand Tour scene, Starfire comments on Dove’s cloak looking like something Raven might wear, if it wasn’t so bright? (Because it’s Hella Canon, Starfire tries to connect with her and open her up so she can relax and find comfort in her new home.) But Dove kind of hesitantly dismisses it as being “just Azarath”, they like hoods and cloaks, she guesses?

So there’s another Parallel, but Dove actively avoids making it into a “””parallel”””... (Because, I mean, she hardcore doesn’t WANT anyone to know who her father is.)

There WAS the (definitely comic-book cheesy [but i love it that way]) chapter-end of DDD that went something like:

She finally felt like everything was going right again.

The only problem being: she was wrong.

To that effect, anyways. I like it~ (Especially since everything starts going wrong for her in that story.... ;; )

But, like. Foreshadowing in Soul Sickness (pre-revamp title: Mystery Sickness) would be really neat? If I could pull it off. Like, I know there’s a scene I need to add to the Very, Very Beginning where the team takes on Mumbo again, because they’re convinced his magic is the reason that Raven fell ill. (Which is never supposed to happen; she absolutely cannot get sick from pathogenic infections. That’s hardcore, blatantly-stated comic canon!)

Anyways, point is, I don’t know if that’s the kind of foreshadowing I’m looking for? Because it’s magical malady for sure. And it’s not until the end that they figure it out, and only because they’re investigating the phenomenon where Raven gets worse when Dove’s near for a few hours, and without explanation, seems to heal quite well when Dove vanishes into the night.

And then, after ruling out anything they can think of, they uncover the CAUSE of it being Alerina’s spells, not Mumbo’s.

I mean, it’s definitely a plot twist of sorts. Nobody expected Dove’s mother’s magic to have that kind of effect on her.

But I wish I knew how to foreshadow that more... 

~ There’s the Mysterious Force that Raven feels when she first empathically connects to Dove, and subsequently feels again any time after. That’s in Dove’s debut, and the prequel to Soul Sickness...

~ I mean, the title itself is going to be “Soul” Sickness, which basically already reveals that it’s not a physical sickness.

I like that. Little tiny tidbits like Those.

But, like...

...I kinda want to foreshadow something brilliantly, the way they’ve done in Steven Universe. Even just one or two times, I’d really like to give someone that moment of, “!! Ohhey, that makes SENSE now!” Or “I can’t believe that was actually what THAT meant, 47 pages ago.”

And Srentha’s survival. That deserves foreshadowing. (During Nothing Good Lasts Forever, when Raven takes Dove to Azarath to reconcile what happened in her vision, and to get closure and finally be able to find peace with it: I want to add a blurb about “On the other side of the monolith, someone notices the flickers of energy, and thinks he hears voices, but after the stir of magics [of Raven's teleportation] was raised, trying to follow them led him to nothing but ash swirling in the fading wind.”

Something like that.

(There are like 5 years of stories between “Nothing” and Srentha’s debut, though. {lD I wonder how many readers will remember? Or even, care enough about The Mysterious Person Mentioned Once on Azarath. Let alone, theorize...)

Well, my stories certainly aren’t as cute, blatantly emotional, or quickly-formatted as Steven Universe. Not as immediately interest-catching. (There’s enough passion, heart, and soul in them. Definitely as much angst and comfort.)

But I can’t help wondering if anyone will care half so much as I do about my characters, and their stories, when I start using little tricks like that? I wonder if anyone else will be left wondering? Caring? 

...Ultimately, I really don’t care. I’m going to try my best, and write my stories anyways. Probably never publish them, until I get rich enough to self-publish. Too much else in my life for that.

But it would be nice.

Point is, it would be a really cool trick of story-crafting to learn how to use, wouldn’t it?

The breadcrumb trails and build-up and Mystery Developements was my favorite part of Steven Universe. That build-up, theorizing, and finally REVELATION catapulted it to tie with Teen Titans for me. The incredible PAYOFF. I know what THEY did. I just... don’t, really really DON’T, know how to use such brilliant, subtle gestures to foreshadow and hint at my own stories....

...but, coming to think of it, another huge gap (besides Storytelling Format) exists between mine and theirs: Steven Universe focuses on a magical family viewing mundane emotional humanity through the lens of fantasy. Their lore-dropping is few and far between, because that’s not the focus.

Oh, my stories very much ARE focused on the lore. You can’t really be subtle about The Actual Point And Theme And Setting And Entirely-Relevant-to-Character-Developement Lore. At least not when it’s Literally The Cause, Journey, Hinderance, Help, and Solution in my characters’ lives.

I think I’ve gotten quite good at working the lore into the natural flow of the story~ Perhaps not as lengthily paced, but I like to think it’s as In-World-Naturally as SU typically managed. Casual fact-drops. Settings. Background info that’s not the main focus of the scene. Integrating the lore-drop in with the innate mindset, history, and relationships of the characters.

I mean, frick guys, if it wasn’t for Azarath and Trigon and Azar’s Crystals and the Fauni separation and Dove having great power inside her, and Raven having mastered such power, and mindscapes manifested, and metahuman shennigans... I wouldn’t have any stories to write, guys. These things are SO integral and important to my stories! (Mundane drama human stuff? It’s cute in SU, but I, personally, do not enjoy dedicating hours to capturing that in a story. I don’t, personally, want to explore people and leave out the Wild Fun Mind-Bending and Stimulating Soulful Magic Stuff. The stuff I’m passionate about exploring! The stuff that’s not just rewarding in the end, but ALSO fun and exciting to GET through, UNTIL the personal developement is proven!)

The perspective of my stories is an unwilling mage going through things both fantastical and mundane to learn about herself, learn about the world, and most importantly, learn to have a PLACE in the world. Learning to accept her heritage. Learning to accept her limits with magic her mother treasured, so she treasured too. Learning how to control her own mind and heart and navigating a new reality, and a new morality, amidst it all.

The person is absolutely a Top Tier Important element in my storytelling. Dove’s growth and developement is the reason I love her as my protagonist. But I can’t write her story without the magic stuff.

My stories are narrated with far more focus on the wild stuff than SU’s crew chose for their story.

But I like my humans meta and their problems magical honestly, I think it’s just a lot more fun. ;P (Definitely written with equal doses of Heart. But magic is a lot more insistent in Dove’s life, and a lot less of The Internal Struggle, really... mostly just a side-effect.)

...gosh, this got rambly.

But I guess my point is, because it’ll be fun to figure out how to Artfully Foreshadow Shit, I’m definitely going to try.

[loreweaver-universe]

Y’know, today I feel like talking about Disgaea, specifically my problems with Disgaea 5: Alliance of Vengeance.

Spoilers for Disgaea 1, 2, 5, and Makai Kingdom, I guess.

So, first off, let’s talk about...

The Narrative.

Disgaea 5 tells the tale of edgelord Squall Leonhart wannabe Killia, a former asshole who got redeemed by falling in love with the daughter of the only demon to ever give him a proper ass-thrashing, who spent his time teaching Killia how to find inner peace blah blah blah it’s actually pretty bland.  Killia speaks in a constant monotone, half-heartedly tries to get his rapidly accumulating party of Overlord-level demon pals to leave him the hell alone, and is generally just really goddamn boring.  It’s not to say this kind of character can’t be interesting--in fact, I name-dropped Squall earlier, and until Final Fantasy VIII went completely off the rails in the second disc he was a legitimately nuanced character and I was interested in seeing where he went.  Here’s the problem with all that, though:

The Disgaea series is a parody.

Now, full disclaimer--I’ve only played Disgaea 1, 2, 5, and Makai Kingdom.  I have Disgaea 3 and 4, but I haven’t been able to secure a PS3 to play them on yet, so I’m leaving those out of the discussion (though from what I’m aware those are parodies as well.)  However, of the four games I have played, Disgaea 5 stands out as being the only one of them to really take itself seriously.

Well, 2 did as well to a certain extent, but other than the looming issue of “we’re trying to off your evil dad, Rozalin,” Disgaea 2 takes itself about as seriously as Disgaea 1 did, and Disgaea 1 is a farce.

A beautiful, glorious, hilarious, one hundred percent intentional farce.

Laharl is a ridiculous creature.  He’s petty, narcissistic, and childish, and while there are serious story beats (Etna being blackmailed, that asshole Angel stealing Flonne’s protective pendant, etc) Laharl never stops mocking his foes, his friends, and the genre itself.  Disgaea 1, in short, is taking the piss, parodying the most ridiculous parts of anime and JRPGs (and, hell, American raygun gothic) with delightful glee...which is why, when things turn deadly fucking serious in the final chapter, it’s so goddamn heart-wrenching and effective.  That slow burn of Laharl growing to care about Flonne enough that he tears the Heavenly Host several new assholes to try to save her from their judgment (and, even in the best ending, has to talk himself down from murdering the head angel in cold blood because she wouldn’t have wanted him to take revenge for her sake) is one of the most effective tonal twists in the history of media, in my opinion: all of a sudden, it’s not funny anymore.

While Disgaea 1 lampooned the genre as a whole, Disgaea 2 takes a different tack, and lampoons common anime/JRPG character archetypes.  The hot-blooded, idiotically honorable melee fighter; the spoiled rich brat of a princess; the annoyingly perverted goblin of a third wheel (and, ugh, I wish that archetype would die already), the plucky little kids who are the least innocent characters in the whole crew other than the aforementioned perv goblin, on and on and on.  The goal may be serious, but the characters are almost as silly as they were in Disgaea 1, and I actually think 2 manages an even better balance of humor and compelling storytelling than 1, because not only is the romance between Adell and Rozalin natural, enjoyable, and endearing, the dramatic beats come along without undermining the sheer silliness of our protagonists until it can have the most impact.  There’s a moment in one of the later chapters where Laharl from the first game appears without warning, pissed off, heavily geared, and more than a thousand levels your superior.

(Yes, I said a THOUSAND levels.  For those of you in the audience who aren’t familiar with the series, the level cap is 9999, and you can reset a character to level 1, storing attained levels for bonus stats.  I’ll be talking about the grind later, don’t you worry.)

The encounter with Laharl accomplishes several things over the course of the two fights with him: it delivers a joyful reunion with the protagonist of the first game, which turns to terror when you see his stats, which turns to horror as you send your team into the meat grinder to die helplessly...and then it shows us that something is frighteningly wrong with Rozalin as she is seemingly possessed and tears this impossible foe apart effortlessly.  From there the story really kicks into high gear, and like Disgaea 1, transitions into a deadly serious final assault on Zenon’s stronghold, but unlike Disgaea 1 it’s not a shocking swerve in tone--the story’s been building to this over time, gradually reconstructing the genre it gleefully tore to pieces over the previous game and a half.

Makai Kingdom is a very different affair, and can actually be most closely contrasted with Disgaea 5.  In the Disgaeaverse, an “Overlord” is a very powerful demon who rules a pocket dimension called a “Netherworld.”  Laharl’s an Overlord, for example.  Makai Kingdom deals with a set of protagonists on a whole other level of power; these are the Overlords that other Overlords view as gods, and they essentially sit around on their asses playing card games and throwing popcorn at their TV.

I think you can see where I’m going with this.

Makai Kingdom is a return to Disgaea 1′s attitude--relentless silliness, mockery of itself, with a sharp turn at the end.  Whether it accomplishes this goal as well as Disgaea 1 isn’t all that relevant, but it is something we can compare to Disgaea 5.

Disgaea 5 starts off similarly--hideously powerful Overlord-level demons gather together, but the characters are...not exactly dour, but played straight, I guess.  There’s no parody, no lampooning; it’s very stock JRPG comedy (and “comedy”), with dramatic tension, a serious approach to its story and antagonists, and predictable story beats obvious to anyone who’s ever seen a mediocre anime or played a mediocre JRPG.  Hell, the main villain’s name is Void Dark, and not a single character makes fun of that!  There are some interesting designs, and I actually think Majorita is a compelling villain for Usalia, who I likewise enjoy immensely, but the story abandons almost everything that made the previous games’ plots entertaining.  Topple an empire, murder some baddies, get your homes back, save your dead love from the creepy brother with the incestuous undertones.  That’s it.  That’s all.  As a story structure, it works just fine, and as evidenced by my love for the rest of the series I absolutely think challenging established conventions is a good thing, but it doesn’t do so successfully enough that it stands out as a worthy entry in the series.  Where it does shine is in improvements to gameplay quality-of-life and beautiful animation, which brings me to...

The Gameplay.

Disgaea 5 improves the UI, adds all sorts of neat little quirks to character customization, and improves game control substantially.  It adds extra ways to gain stat points (like I said before, character levels cap at 9999 and can be stored for stat bonuses--this game also allows you to train stats for stat points via minigames) and is just generally more in-depth than its predecessors...at the cost of being stupidly easy to grind out.

Yes, I think an easier grind is a bad thing.  Let me explain: I have over ten thousand hours in Disgaea 2 alone over the last twelve years.  I picked the first two games up when Disgaea 2 was brand new, and have beaten the game dozens of times in the intervening span.  Most recently, about five years ago, I created a save file on the PSP port of the game, and I spend idle trips or the time I’m falling asleep grinding it out as kind of an idle game.

Literally everything you do in a Disgaea game gets you experience for something.  Weapon mastery, skill exp, character exp, you name it.  Hell, you can run randomized dungeons inside your items to level those up, too.  It’s incredibly satisfying and makes for a constant sense of progression--even if you don’t level up in a fight you’ve still gotten experience points for the skills and weapons you’ve used, making it stronger, more effective, etc.  My personal goal is to, eventually, have one of every character class maxed out on stored levels and every skill and weapon proficiency in the game, which is a deliberately impossible task because it’s just so much fun to chase it forever.

Here’s the other thing: the Disgaea series, due to the ludicrous level cap, is known for its absurdly deep pool of ever-stronger bonus bosses, stretching, yes, all the way up to the level cap.  The hunt for those is likewise extremely satisfying, and takes quite a while, especially since the campaign usually caps out at around levels 70-90.

With all this in mind, imagine my dismay when I realized I was blowing through skill and weapon exp and hitting the caps on everything in a tiny percentage of the time I was expecting.  To be fair, there is a “Cheat Shop” NPC who can adjust the EXP you gain up and down, which is neat, but I have to crank it down to literally single-digit percentages of normal to get the same amount of chase-time out of it.  This is not to say that the game should be inaccessibly grindy; in fact, Disgaea 1 and 2 aren’t.  The story campaigns in those games are perfectly completable with the normal skill progression and a small but admittedly grindy amount of extra leveling in unlocked areas.  It’s all the extreme bonus content that’s gated behind the postgame grind, and the huge ceiling on skill levels and weapon proficiencies means you’re constantly rising in power and challenging new heights.  I think that’s a fantastic reward for being dedicated to the game!  And Disgaea 5 in its default state takes that away.  I had a character capped out on all proficiencies, subclasses, and aptitudes within my first hundred hours of the game.

It was...disappointing, I guess.  All around, mostly; for every step forward it took, it also took a step back.  Ultimately, the story takes a backseat to my points about the grind, because the campaign in any Disgaeaverse game is literally about 2% of the game’s content.  Disgaea 5 took my grind from me, and that’s why I’m salty enough to have just spent an hour typing up a book report on its failings, I guess.

[theliterateape]

I Can't Drive 55 | Lessons Learned in the 55th Year

By Don Hall

In my thirty-second year I felt incredibly sorry for myself. I was getting my first divorce, was living in a one-room studio in Uptown, my theater company was imploding over ego-driven bullshit. I drank myself into a state of suicidal yearning. It was a rough year. 

I called my mom. Mom is that voice of reason in good and bad times.

"This has been a really shitty year. Maybe I should move back to Kansas."

"How old are you?"

"Thirty-two."

"And in thirty-two years you've lived on the planet, how many of those years were bad?"

I thought about it for a moment. "Really bad? Two. No three. Three years. Why?"

"Well, three out of thirty-two is a pretty solid track record. Seems to me that you weathered those other bad years and had good years to spare. Maybe you decide to quit wallowing in how bad this year has been and get to work on next year because based on your experience you probably have another cluster of good years in store."

Some have the Dali Lama. Others have a priest or a shelf of self-help books. I have my mom.

My fifty-fifth year (or the specter of 2020) was a rough year for so many people in the world it's almost a joke. The whole year has been covered in shit—from the campaign to unseat the least capable and most destructive president in my lifetime to three months in a pandemic shutting down the planet and economic hardship most of us have only read about in Steinbeck novels—2020 looks like the toilet bowl moments after a morning constitutional from a night of White Castle and rum.

Sure, the act of comparing one's life with those around is a narcissistic self-loathing experiment best suited for recently jilted lesbians and Instagram junkies, but while the entire world has been burning down in both literal and figurative ways, fifty-five has been a damn good year for me.

In January, I was well into my year and a half managing a casino on the corner of I-15 and Tropicana. I had done my due diligence in training and had hit the sweet spot of knowing enough about the business to be an effective leader on the floor. I knew my high rollers and had figured out the best approach to dealing with the meth-addicts and prostitutes. I could fix 90 percent of the machines and could process a jackpot inside of four minutes consistently.

Then came the pandemic and the economic shutdown of Las Vegas in March. Most were laid off and in free fall but I had stumbled into working for one of two gambling corporations in Nevada that committed to keeping the payroll rolling despite losing millions per day.

The three months of closure saw me coming in to work every day, cleaning the bar and the machines, and hanging out to make sure no one ransacked the place while it was closed. I did a lot of writing in my office during that time. 

In terms of personal tragedy, my nineteen year old nephew overdosed in a parking lot in April and, virus be damned, Dana and I flew out the next day to help my sister.

We re-opened the casino in June. 

Seven months of balancing life in a pandemic with idiots motivated to gamble, arguing with people about the necessity to wear masks, and submitting essays to everyone. Getting paid to write (even in small increments) was a genuine drug.

Over the summer both Dana and I were asked to write for an anthology of essays. Las Vegas writers writing about Las Vegas. It was a boost, man. Don't get me wrong, the casino gig was solid and, for the most part, enjoyable. Getting paid to write words and sentences was fucking delicious.

The book came out in October launched with a Zoomesque gathering.

The casino gig, while solid and simple, was becoming dull. Rote. Combining the fact that my best (and meager) talents were not usable during a pandemic in a struggling casino, I told my General Manager that I needed more money for such routine grind and that I’d start looking aggressively for something more in tune with my skills that also paid a bit more on my year-and-a-half mark.

Six days after I started the search, I was hired by a Denver-based firm as a Senior Copywriter.

Turns out I’m pretty good at it. Getting a salary for writing words and sentences is sweet and working from home as the pandemic continues to rage on is smart and comfortable. No longer a slave to the swings shift, my schedule is my own.

I can, for the first time in my life when asked what I do for a living, answer “I am a writer.” In a career path marked by ten year gigs followed by "gotta pay the bills" gigs, it looks like Casino Manager is the latter and "Writer" is the former. Now it’s time to write some books, yeah?

It’s been a year, my friends.

Here are the lessons that landed in my 55th annum.

Always Leave ‘Em Wanting More

Over the course of my bizarre career as a “Writer. Teacher. Storyteller. Consultant.” to refer to my donhall.vegas website, I’ve had a tendency to overstay my welcome.

Instead of leaving circumstances on good terms, by the time I was ready to go, I was all Fuck these people! What a bunch of dickseeds! and at least a few of the people were Fuck him! What a dickseed!

I stayed one year longer than I should have as a public school teacher. I stayed at least a year too long in my second marriage and, despite some incredible shows toward the end of the WNEP Theater years, I stayed too long with that company. I should’ve left WBEZ at least a year earlier and I waited until things got weird in the storytelling scene before leaving Chicago.

With the casino, I left long before things become too rote or sour. I found the new gig, jumped on it, and was told if it didn’t work out, I always had a place to land. That I was a part of the Station Casinos “family.” My staff bought me booze and when I swung by just to see them, they are happy to be seen.

Hell, the GM even gave me one of the chairs from the Craps Table for my home office!

As I get older, recognizing the signs that perhaps it’s time to go is an essential skill. At fifty-five, maybe I’m finally into that.

Family is Always More Important Than Work

Last year, working the first 24/7/365 job in my life, I was told I had to work on Christmas. It was the first Christmas in decades I hadn’t spent with my family in Kansas. It wasn’t bad—Joe flew in from Chicago, he took Dana and I to see Penn Gillette at Rio, Kelli joined Dana and Joe on the casino floor while I worked.

This year, especially after the death of my nephew, it became obvious that family had to come first. Months before I landed the writing gig, I let my GM know I was taking the week of Christmas off, COVID be damned. I was clear that if the company couldn’t pay me for the time off I understood and if I was to be let go because of it, then that was fine, too.

The casino was incredibly cool about the request that wasn’t really a request. In fact, even though I gave my two week’s notice before the Christmas vacation pay would kick in, my GM allowed me to be paid for it anyway (see that first lesson again).

It was in every possible way the correct call. My sister needed me. I needed my mom and dad. We got to reconnect with a cousin I hadn’t seen in years. Turns out she’s a professional copywriter in Austin, TX. It was a soul-filling holiday and I’ll never miss Christmas in Kansas again.

It’s Pointless to Argue with Zealots

Maybe it’s in part due to my new-found desert surroundings or my distance from the increasingly Woke Chicago Arts scene but this last year of Trump and the ridiculous nature of angrier social media has pushed me closer to Left Center than Full-On Progressive.

As a younger man I decided that religion was simply not for me. Too emotionally charged without a sense of rationality. At the distance Nevada gives me I can see how irrational both the Extreme Right—the overtly white nationalist taint with the individualism bordering on sociopathy—and the Progressive Left—the quasi-religious circular logic of white privilege, erasure of women as a category, and focus on tribalism over all—have become. Or maybe they were always this way and it took some time away from a major urban center to see it.

Whichever the case, arguing with either side has become synonymous with filing my teeth with a dremel. Besides being as productive as screaming into an Amazon Box, taping it up, and shipping it to Congress, it’s fucking annoying.

If there is a resolution I’m attempting to adopt in the latter half of my fifties, it is this: find common ground with everyone and if I encounter someone so far into conspiracy territory that I cannot, walk away and don’t look back.

Social Media Enables the Very Worst in Us (and Me)

I can’t remember if I shed myself of Faceborg, Twitter, Instagram, and the host of social media this or last year but I’ve spent most (if not all) of my fifty-fifth year absent the noise and it was an excellent decision.

Mobs of imbeciles canceling professors, trolling J.K. Rowling, threatening violence to strangers, and organizing a breach of the Capitol all using tools for communication that should be extraordinary made me hate people I had never met. This cannot be a good ‘chicken soup for the soul’ arena to spend time in.

I’ll admit that I do feel left out of the mix some yet I’m happier for it. I jumped back recently with a new LinkedIn account (which is sortof  like social media but with jobs) and the only good thing about that has been being able to message with Rob Kozlowski.

I’m a Social Distancing Jedi

Five years ago, Dana threw me a birthday party and there was a room full of friends in attendance. This year, I’ll be lucky if even Dana remembers my birthday.

The culling effect of both getting rid of social media and the pandemic has been like a hoarder finally ridding himself of boxes of empty Altoid tins and those square plastic bread ties. Always a bit of a misanthrope, this year has cleared out so much noise and my new gig at home has me isolated from the wash of the unwashed.

Turns out I’m good with this. My interactions with people are more intentional rather than surface level and while life has made me more cautious when it comes to whom I genuinely trust, those whom I do choose teach me things I wouldn’t know and enrich my dwindling time on the planet.

Your Reality is Dictated by Your Optimism

Optimism isn’t merely hope. It isn’t happiness or a cheery disposition.

Optimism is an act of resilience against the brutal harshness of living the existential crisis.

It’s darkest just before the dawn implies that there will be a dawn. What if there won’t be? What if it’s just more darkness? If the implacable timpani of human greed, a self correcting planetary environment, and the algorithm that defines our modern interaction has no end, should that result in giving in to the despair?

As optimism is a breeze when things are going your way, despair is the path of least resistance when things turn to shit. Seeing through the mist at a better future takes effort and commitment like a solid marriage or a massive novel you’ve committed to writing. It’s a project to be managed not a feeling to languish within.

One cannot truly call himself an optimist who refuses to see the horror. Pretending that people are essentially kind and generous is stuffing the ostrich head in the sand. People are apes with higher brain functions and follow the rules of the jungle. Tribalism, essentialism, war for resources, the history of brutality of all humanity goes far beyond Hannah Jones 1619 Project. Taken in whole, we aren’t a very enlightened and forgiving species.

Further, optimism is an individual choice. It’s not something that can be enforced but it is something that can be inspired. The American Experiment, despite its many missteps and flaws, is grounded in a belief that humans can govern themselves justly and effectively. Given the larger picture, belief in democracy is only slightly more delusional than the guy playing slots so he can pay his rent. The odds are astronomically against success and yet the choice to persevere is made.

When you see someone who has one of those death camp tattoos on their arm you are witnessing a genuine, tried and true, bona fide optimist.

Optimism is hardest when things turn to shit but it is then when it is most necessary.

Becoming Antique is a Journey

For the first time I see that more of my life has been lived than I have left to live.

I recognize that I wish I could give the years I have left to my nephew because I have done a lot in my five and a half decades and he didn't get the chance. I wonder, absent the obsessive drive to achieve I had in my younger days, what I have to offer in the next ten years? What value does my existence provide to others and how do I manifest that value in pragmatic terms?

Like an old car or a pair of worn-out shoes, we all must acknowledge a certain sense of obsolescence. The pandemic has up-ended so many of the fictions we lived with up until this point and finding North on the compass is a challenge these days. Becoming irrelevant is like that boiling frog—slowly and without even recognizing the boil—we all find ourselves as vintage. 

Perhaps that's what I've become. Not the rusted Coca Cola sign in the corner but the "like new" vinyl Def Leppard album with slightly tattered and stained liner notes.

In my next ten years (if I have that much time in store or more) I'd like to read more. Write a lot more. Listen to more live music. Be a better husband. Become that cool old man on the block with good advise and a snort of rye in case it's a little chilly. Christ, I already smoke a pipe.

There is so much more to learn that, in order to avoid feeling useless, I need to learn more.

In a Pandemic, Look For the Simple Things to Keep You Sane

A really well-made sandwich

A cold beer in 115˚ weather

A road trip with your Soul Mate

A book by a new author

A slideshow of you and your Soul Mate doing things together

A long walk

Recognizing that you have a Soul Mate

Sometimes I wonder if there’s anything else. I wonder if I’d miss anything important if I simply ceased to breathe on the couch I bought back in Chicago as it sits in Nevada.

In those moments of melodramatic existentialism, I remind myself that the experience of living is this annual letter to you. A summation of the things I’ve learned and the life I’ve lived.

If I had finished this race last year, my mettle wouldn’t have been tested by a pandemic. I wouldn't have found my sister again. I wouldn’t have seen Trump slink away to Florida. I wouldn’t be sitting in a Craps Chair in a home office of my design. 

I wouldn’t have learned anything at all (you know, because dead people stop moving forward).

Here’s to another year and what adventures I will have!

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff - THE (FULL) TROOF ABOUT STEVEN UNIVERSE

WARNING: What you’ll see under the cut is possibly one of the grandest things I will ever do and generally one of the biggest SU Crit posts of all time. Be advised that explicit language is present and we ask that readers are open-minded and reasonable with any given retort. Note that this has been edited due to Tumblr’s limitations of presentable media so click here for the Director’s Cut.

Do like & share if you enjoyed it or if I fought your boredom. Thank you and take care out there. 

Steven Universe is a charming, popular show with a quad-polar fandom, and I’m only here to point out what I say is legitimately wrong with this cartoon. Simple enough? Fair enough.

POINT #1 - THE ACTION:

Okay, my first point really doesn’t just apply with cartoons, but fights in general. Question: what’s the one thing that people get the most out of seeing a fight? The impacts. Those moments where the opponent is given such a crushing ass blow, that you can feel the effort that went into that attack. Yeah, Steven Universe lacks this. I mean, it can look like the characters are putting effort into fighting their opponents and it can look like they’re getting hurt pretty bad (thanks to applied visuals and sound effects), but it never feels like the characters are actually hitting each other. There are instances of impact, but they’re menial and they’re scattered between the duelists smacking each other like helium filled action figures; feeling as tender as any other motion the characters do throughout. Now if you’re wondering what I mean by impacts, note these prime examples; because animes know their action.

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure

Hajime no Ippo

Summer Wars

My Hero Academia

If present, violence can/should provide a stark raving contrast to the supposedly grounded world in any series, and the impacts of violence should be escalating with every punch or kick. Attacks should fly with fierce swiftness, the weight/force of any blow can be seen; raw power, speed, and stamina should be pushed to limits unknown. Now, I’m not saying Steven U has to imitate any incredible, well animated fight scene that anime has flawlessly provided by now, but more effort should have been made to escalate the impact of their fights, not keep it steady tuned with

*Smear work to make the boring motions look fast paced

*Spiky white marks to show a clash

*quick visual instances of impact that lets you know a character is getting hurt

*and tons of smoke to cover the possibly graphic imagery

Steven Universe has the fundamentals of action down, but they don’t go beyond that (plus ultra). Their fights can look technically similar with the characters being the only real source of variation, especially when you can figure out their attacks ahead of time. So I hate to say this, but if you’ve seen one fight, you’ve seen ‘em all.

Another reason I presented Steven U’s lacking action is because tts not just about fists flying or weapons clashing, but the balance of emotion that goes with the foes putting their heart and soul into taking each other down. But, for most of the time, I don’t see SU’s fights present any real hook of seriousness, even if it wants me to, and most of them feel present for (basic) comedy. I feel less invested in who’s fighting, or why, than I am at how they’re getting beat up. Ironic, being a show that’s all about being open with its “serious” emotions. Combined with its lackluster animation, and they don’t add much contrast towards an otherwise easy going series

This here is honestly the most funniest a fight scene of theirs can get (mostly ‘cuz Peri deserved that), but after seeing the pretty slow animation, it can lose its luster no matter how deserving it may seem. Now notice this whopping scene, from the anime One Punch Man, below.

You can know nothing about One Punch Man, who these characters really are, but you can tell from these 5 seconds alone that when a fight happens, there’s a fast, over the top sense of comedy that comes with the brutal nature of a man that can apparently KO anybody in one swing, ironic and even more comedic with said one hit wonder being the most emotionless looking character on the show.

Seriously, that’s his face for almost the whole series

Now I know what you’re thinking, “But Monkey Network, it’s mostly a slice of life cartoon. The action scenes aren’t that prominent in the series as you might think and hope. It’s not supposed to be a violent show.” And I’d say fair point except for the fact that Friendship is Magic is also a slice of life cartoon that only has a few real action scenes under its belt, and this particular one is the best fucking thing I’ll ever see.

AGAIN, you can know nothing about the series as a whole, or this episode in general, but this fight alone perfectly captures the game Steven Universe has never really utilized since its early days. It has some seriousness with its escalating over the top attacks, the pace never feels constant, and even though they’re evenly matched, the things they do look fucking cool. The only downside is that since the show has puppet flash animation, it does looks limited, but even then they made the most of it. Steven Universe is hand drawn, so with all due respect, they have no fucking excuse. Their fight scenes amount to stay the course animation with glimpses of impact and a flashy style to avoid it from being pod racing levels of BORING. I’ve seen fan animations that would give this show a run for its money.

The Fandom provides more than the actual show

Even before Garnet’s fight with Jasper, Steven Universe’s action sequences was a sweet chunk of what made the show investing to watch, and looking at back at it, I was a bit too invested in something that wasn’t that invested in itself. Again, I know it can’t stack up to the God tier works that the anime world’s made for itself, but compared to other action present cartoons (Voltron, Star vs. the Forces of Evil, Avatar, The Powerpuff Girls, MLP, OK KO, any shonen anime), I think maybe they could/should git a little gooder in providing actual fights, not sparring matches. That, and if Sugar Honey Ice Tea and her crewniverse can put such effort into the facial expressions, they can make the fights more expressive too.

POINT #2 - THE “VILLAINS”:

Now, I fucking love villains. Not just for the who, but why and how they do it. When bad guys like the Joker, Lord Dominator, DIO, or Him do their thing onscreen, I enjoy every moment of their threatening essence (except Jared Leto’s Joker, he sucked). Villains remorselessly do unethical, downright vicious, things to fulfill their goals while initiating setting up the heroes to correct these effects with their efforts and abilities. Steven Universe has villains, sure. Yet, after having so many chances, Rebecca Sugardaddy has failed to make them REAL villains, specifically the Great Diamond Authority.

Now originally, I was gonna compare the Diamonds to the likes of Fire Lord Ozai(Avatar: The Last Airbender) or DIO (JJBA); villains that work in the shadows and when they’re eventually revealed, they’re already a force to be reckoned with. But looking into how they and Homeworld is set up, there was no other villainous ensemble that could stack up with the Diamonds perfectly like the Gorosei from the anime One Piece.

Looking more badass than the US Government

Now these five gentlemen aren’t necessarily what make up the end all be all for the series, but above all, the Gorosei are the ruling leaders of the organization that controls the entire world of One Piece. They command the military, the police, and other agencies, like their investigative and espionage departments, and the only people that out rule these gentlemen are the descendants of those who created it several centuries ago. Like the Diamonds, they seek to maintain order and justice for the people of their world and doing so means taking on any sign of revolution (namely Pirates) that could damage not only their image, but their purpose. Both Authorities possess absolute rule over the many classes that are under them and their stance of power can be present with the many actions that effect the characters we focus on currently. The difference between the two ruling classes is nuance, aka a grey sense of morality, aka an actual sense of relatability. So when I see a series having an overall narrative villain, Steven Universe has shown me that sympathy should NOT be a factor in storytelling.

Now when I say this, I don’t mean you can’t sympathize with any villain you see. Most of the time, you can feel for the antagonist when their lives never were good to begin with, that’s namely how villainy starts out, therefore making their actions not so much justified, but understandable. Take the rogues gallery that are the enemies of Batman.

Every one of them has a story to tell and a method to their madness. Their histories weren’t as nice or as hopeful as they may have hoped, and you can feel their pain as their efforts to be successful at something grand falls apart due to the Dark Knight or life’s unforgiving nature. However, the sympathy stops there because none of these masterminds, with the Joker being an exception, serve as a main villain to Batman’s crusade for justice, they’re continuous rivals and one off stories that expand the DC Universe. No evil in Gotham is powerful enough because Batman’s story has no real endgame. Steven Universe and One Piece will eventually have an endgame. And while the Gorosei represent an Oligarchical commodity that separates its order seeking rule from their affiliating countries, The Diamonds have amounted to being under one system alone:

Or generally cruel Collectivism if you wanna sound smart

And it’s weird I bring this up. For I would’ve thought to have called Homeworld an authoritative caste system where the gem you’re born with defines your class and status, coinciding with the gems’ natural abilities. The specific gems are given a role and everyone plays a part to maintain societal order, like what India has, with the Diamonds being the biggest and strongest gems and therefore are the de facto Matriarch of the gem society, you feel me? That would’ve earned a little sympathy from me, because the Diamonds losing Pink would’ve meant the massive changes to accommodate their order and resources might not have worked out so well and their image as leaders are slowly diminishing and that can explain the huge resentment for Earth and Rose’s Rebellion.

But no. Instead the Diamonds are a repressive totalitarian government that basically control everyone and everything, all the gems below to strictly follow and almost never question their line of reasoning, and they’re reasons for destroying the Earth has been summarized down to the emotional baggage and grudge that came with their failure long ago.

CAN YOU NOT FEEL THEIR STRUGGLE?!

Wanna know why I didn’t compare the Diamonds to Avatar’s Fire Nation when talking about humanizing the enemy and the connection couldn’t be more obvious? Because before Ozai is ever mentioned, The Last Airbender states very clearly that the Fire Nation is the region Aang and his friends need to infiltrate to stop their manifest destiny. And when we’re early hinted that Zuko’s not full on evil, it lets the audience know that not everyone is on board with those in charge of the Fire Nation invasion, leading up to Ozai’s big debut where we see that as the endgame villain, he’s irredeemable and has such a lust for power, that he’s recognizably the main drive everyone has to stop. Avatar did this right because little by little, the main enemy was narrowed down to a single force that hasn’t made itself known until near the end when his presence bear more importance. The same can’t be said for Steven Universe because Rebecca Sugar Rush presented yet another faint mistake.

The Diamond’s personalities are given to us before they’ve shown us who they are and what they’re capable of…

So we see Yellow Diamond as a vindictive, no nonsense leader that wants shit to get done and Blue Diamond as a more tender looking, yet no nonsense leader that’s grieving over Pink Diamond’s death and does whatever she can to move on and remember the fallen fondly. So, have they done anything before we’ve met them personally? Sure.

*They corrupted thousands of their own kind (because of the rebellion)

*Allowed experimentation towards shattered gems to make artificial fusion or disembodied amalgamates (because of the rebellion)

*And let’s not forget the Cluster (because of the rebellion)

So yeah, quite a lot actually. Now you might be thinking, “But Monkey Network, what does those five old men have to do with what the Diamonds did?” Well, when you see the villainous shit the Gorosei have commanded, their actions are actually more relatable than one would expect.

*Ordering the destruction of an island of archaeologists because they were secretly researching forbidden history

*Ordered death to any pregnant woman in sight fearing that one could be pregnant with Gol D. Roger, the OG Pirate King’s, child. Said slaughter lasted for around two years (Special thanks to @des-the-girl​ for this info)

*Directing the Marines, or the front line enemies of our Pirate heroes

*And contemplating their system’s next move when updates arrive

Now I don’t know about you, but these gentlemen make up quite an authoritative class with understandable motives and relatable notions on running the world without necessarily being on the front lines. Kinda like the US over the years? Even when their level of corruption can be on par and we still know little of their true power and who they really are, they’re instantly better than the Diamond Authority because we can see why they’re in command, their thoughts and actions towards our heroes shows no sign of being sympathetic, and yet we see where their motives lie. I mean, their Government’s enemies are pirates. You know, Pirates? People who’ve robbed and killed and are the opposite of order? See where I’m going here? They namely go after our heroes who are seen to be the enemy even when the Pirates and plenty others consider them the enemy. It’s almost as if there’s a grey choice for the audience to wonder whom the real bad guys are. OooooOOh. Also, quick side note. The Gorosei look fucking cool. Like their designs aren’t exactly human, credit towards Eiichiro Oda and his expressive designs, but they’re drawn with such a level of seriousness and stature that it presents their elder wisdom and grave subtlety towards a subject in a contrasting light to the pirates bombastic, emotional appeal.

So, what’s the tl;dr aspect of this since you probably won’t take this seriously? Well, call this a domino effect. Basically, Rebecca Sugardop has given us nonthreatening villains that showed no sign of any redeemable qualities beyond their ability to mesmerize us with their acting, and the audience should have a bit of sympathy for their side (see ”Bismuth”). In doing so, she failed to make them real villains. In doing that, there really are no real villains in the show. And when there are no villains, the conflict feels dry and absent. And without conflict, she failed at putting together HALF an overall story. And when you’re a coming of age story where it has to end on some note with maturity and change, after almost five years in the making, you just FUCKED yourself over when you didn’t even invest time in HALF of what makes an overall story of good and evil investing and engaging. Oh I’m sorry, what makes an overall story of a blurred line between good and evil. Investing and engaging.

Ugh, I can’t care anymore. If they get redeemed, sure. If they end up dying like a tragedy, fine. They feel less like villains to overcome and more like stairs Steven has to step on to become a better person. Just let White Diamond be as grandiose and badass as Tumblr’s AUs of her, because again…

The fandom is doing the show a bit of justice

POINT #3 - BEACH CITY:

Okay, before I provide attention to our main gem heroes, I thought I’d give their home of Beach City a vocal point to express the diversity they offer and what makes them an essential drive for Steven and the Crystal Gems to protect the Earth by any means. I mean, they offer such valid representation for the show’s world building and can offer plenty of stories to tell to give us that slice of lifevibe the show really needed. But I believe, after seeing Beach City time and time again over the course of 4 years, that I can summate its presence in the show with a single- Nay. With two simple yet comprehensible words.

Who cares?

Whooo CARES?

Thank you, respectable actor Elaine Stritch. Rest in Peace

To continue, don’t get me wrong. Worldbuilding is more than essential for a story like Steven Universe, Berserk, Friendship is Magic, Legend of Zelda, and so on. Whether big or small, expanding a setting is important to giving characters a versatile way to look at their world in a differing light than before. But suffice to say, what world has Steven Universe built for itself?

*A populated province in the East Coast?

*A barn?

*Ancient ruins? Among other distant gem territory?

Aye, this troof is gonna be hard to explain. We just have locations, people. That’s it. They’re no special than the mini Galaxies from Super Mario Galaxy 2, only on Wii, Rated E for Everyone. A place can look cool and a population there can bring life to it, but they should have something for the characters to interact with and visibly wonder about what they might get into as they adapt and progress in some way. And by some way, I don’t mean insert plot devices that help make the characters do significant looking things, and I’ll get to that a bit later. But to sum it up, Steven Universe present locations, but those locations lack identity and coordination.

Stick around, Link, I might need your example

I got a short story to tell. True story. And this story provides my reason, above all else, for why Beach City doesn’t hold much water anymore when talking about world building, specifically after the show’s first season (or Full Disclosure).

There’s a comic book TV show called Preacher, premieres Mondays @ 9, only on AMC. Essentially it’s about a criminal turned Priest, possessed with a supernatural power, going on a cross country road trip to find the physical form of God with his his mate who’s also a vampire and his ex-girlfriend. Pretty vivid premise, but see for yourself. The first season however sets up the road trip where the priest, his ex, and vampire friend stay in a small town in Texas to not only introduce them, the power that the priest gets, and the type of humor throughout, but flesh out a few citizens they encounter pretty well in a thematically connected turnabout for ten episodes straight. All seems good.

Up until the entire town loses their minds, after losing all faith in belief, which eventually leads to a methane nuclear sized explosion that wipes out everybody except the three main characters who exited a few scenes before.

The End.

Now, let’s talk relevance. If I ran Steven Universe, and I don’t think I can, and I pulled 👆👆 that on Beach City at season 1′s end. Erase everything you’ve seen, every citizen will be forced to disappear except the major plot oriented characters, basically resetting the structure. If I did that, how much would it change? What would we really lose? The diverse Beach citizens that don’t and can’t do shit against the enemies we’ve see unless they’re forced to get involved in some way which rarely happens?

You can put as many people of color and as many personalities in your world all you want, but effort should also be put into not just making them NPC levels of value to the point where a reset button wouldn’t put much a dent to the “world building”. The worst part is that it’s not like Batman’s Gotham City or Spider-Man’s New York; places where the villains are plotting while they’re within city walls. Steven Universe’s enemies have to either be brought out somewhere (gem monsters, Lapis) or brought to (Jasper, that red Eye, Aqua and Topaz) Beach City for the place to provide any significant or value. So…

Just saying.

Now if the whole series was like season one with the non ��To Be Continued”slice of life episodes, then it would’ve work. Phineas and Ferb, Foster’s Home, and Friendship is Magic has done this well with keeping their main location (The Foster House, Danville, Ponyville, etc.) as their central hubworld for casual stories with a venture outside of them from time to time. I would’ve been okay with Beach City being the spot for Steven and his limitless squad to grow together like Rebecca intended at first. Then I’m reminded that there’s an world expanding story in this, with bigger consequences and threaded arcs, and I’m stuck between investing in the many things they give me, complaining towards full episodes that add up to nothing and went nowhere special, and whining about the lack of reruns it gets on TV compared to Teen Titans GO.

Bottom line, you had/have your comic series to commit to your slice of life genre instead of trying to keep it in the show.

Now, I’m at a disadvantage here. If I want to talk about the actual “SCIENCE FANTASY WORLD BUILDING”, then I’ll have to talk about the Crystal Gems’ involvement in them and I can’t really do that. Luckily, I don’t have to, for SU has unintentionally played itself: when it comes to the Gem oriented locations outside Beach City, they tell but never really show. And turns out I don’t need Link’s example, but Samus Aran’s. Namely, her universe in the Metroid Prime series.

A key element to world building is the control and fun in exploration where you find and somewhat interact with aspects of an environment’s purpose and history while you’re on the go, giving the place more of an identity. Metroid Prime does this well where you journey through different parts of the Galaxy and with your scan visor, you can catalog and figure out the intricacies of the settings, the enemies within them, and info that seem trivial at first, but can offer much in progressing ahead in the game. Note the example before you…

And don’t stare deep into Samus’s blue eyes

Sure it’s an optional part of the game, and you can still trek on with or without having to continuously research the world’s lore, but it offers that versatility where you’re well in control in how to experience the game. Then again, this is a video game, where your skill in figuring things out is the only way to progress anything. What cartoon has this similar level of versatility? I mean, what else?

What else?

Gravity Falls may have stayed in one place, but it gives the characters and audience so much to explore and theorize on. They don’t tackle “everything” the world might have offered (bigfoot), but still give you so much to look out for without ever holding your hand or giving a cliffnotes version on a mystery of theirs. Hell, the fandom was hollering on Tumblr over predicting one of the show’s biggest mysteries being confirmed long before it aired. Hirsh didn’t just give those theory nuts what they wanted, his crew eased us in on how the narrative is taking a turn to someplace different and new without really forcing it on everybody. There was still that enjoyable sense of control that resonated in both the show’s direction and the audience’s experience.

I mean come on, this just oozes the moment of truth

Don’t get me wrong. The crewniverse offer very interesting locations and things that resonate with Gem stuff. My final problem with this is that when I think they might utilize these different places and things, they hold back to sharing but a glimpse of anything the show has plenty of utilizing potential for. Like…

Could this control room present more information about Homeworld’s plans for the gems than just the Cluster? “Probably not, it fulfilled its purpose. Let’s move on.”

What about these drills? Could we personally see how one works, like accidentally reactivate it to see how it functions? “Nah, they’re all dead. Let’s move on.”

Or what about the holes? Could we have some kind of flashback depicting how a gem leaps out the ground? “Nope.” Not even the off col- “NOPE.”

What’s that supposed to be? Is it something important to Homeworld? “We’ll get to that later. Let’s move on.”

Man, this place looks cool. Connie might consider this since she handles weapons and might want something new, like armor or throwing weapons. “Look man, this tour is scheduled. You’ve seen it, we’ll get back to it later. Moving right along.” This tour sucks. “You paid for it, my friend.”

Egoraptor said it best: I’m not witnessing an adventure, I’m a guest at their theme park. This is Kingdom Hearts levels of dragging it along, and I know… “But Monkey Network, they might come back to all that stuff soon. It’s called foreshadowing, you whiner.” To that, I say HA! There’s a huge difference between foreshadowing and giving us cameos. And that is in...

PRESENTATION!

Long story short, if it’s subtle and holds a threatening or vague presence, THAT’s foreshadowing. If it’s already out in the open and is not given a lot of screentime or detail, that’s cameo-ing and waiting for more. The last thing a show should do is hold back and have its audience wait like shoving a secret box in our face, and that’s all Steven Universe has been doing. That’s why so many rant about what’s filler or not. That’s why so many theorize on the most reaching of details. That’s why people proudly growl at what could be the crew’s simple decisions. Because when everything must come back to Beach City, post “Full Disclosure”, exploration can be limited, detail can be limited, and it’ll be up to the audience to speculate/construct the world-building for themselves, making the control and experience for the show feel one sided, therefore UNFAIR.

Like I said, the things I’ve seen offer so much to think about, but Rebecca Sugar sack could’ve done better with presenting them in a better light than a dim mode. The fate of Steven Universe’s future is a mystery to me, and I don’t know what they’re gonna cram in season 5 this fall. All I know is MJ (or Mystery Girl) is fine as fuck and we’re all gonna get something good eventually. My man Ian Jones-Quartey said good world building takes time, and they sure are taking their time.

POINT #4 - THE REPRESENTATION:

Representation in media can be easy when the right writers are at the helm to present (not push) a message of acceptance and acknowledgement towards an audience that may or may not feel the same way. It takes different strokes to rule the world, after all. However, when it comes to character in general, there are two factors in characterization that when used correctly can appeal their message of acceptance for their audience. One, visual acknowledgement of the representing characters (POC, LGBT, belief, etc.) in question and two, giving the subjects good quality participation to show that they are just as adept to the world as any other without phoning in the fact that they are this or that. Long story short, make ‘em good characters and the representation can earn the audience’s respect for itself. Steven U lacks this too, and this comes from them often showing us stuff and expecting us to just go with it, with themes that are enough just to get by fans. Hell, they show us as much as a drive by…

Not even a cool one at that, fresh

I’ll say this to start off: Lars Barriga (my neega) was a stagnant and frustrating character to deal with; nobody in Beach City moved him in any way (not even his own supporting parents), and the writers just shotgunned him growth (more than once) after he basically had to cheat death (more than once) to gain a better conscience. It’s like they wanted to call him a lost cause but had to hook him back in some way for the audience to not deem him a lost cause. So with all due respect, does it matter that he’s Filipino or a trans boy when nothing valuable or thoughtful has come from him especially? Those trivial tidbits can mostly come off as add ons or secondary nods, when they should’ve been welcomed knowledge about his character. Want an good example? Look to the comic series Lumberjanes, especially issues 14-17 and 28. SPOILERS, though…

They did this right for characters Jo and Barney (Jo’s the one in the 2nd panel, Barney’s in the first). They already established these two as well defined characters that make mistakes but are willing to get shit done for their friends by any means. The dialogue above is when Barney is thinking about joining the girl oriented scouts even when he’s considered a boy scout, wondering where does he want to belong. Jo gives him reassurance that she herself felt the same and just wants Barney to assert himself with what he wants to be like she did. And when he does later on, he’s accepted without any forced gratification and the writers gracefully accommodate this to not only make him (now “them”) a good addition to the story’s world, but a welcoming new perspective.

The representation is therefore earned, not just shown off

Now I’d talk further on other characters like Lars, but that would be singing the same beats as my previous piece on world building and would spoil notes on the final 2 parts I’m working on now. Instead, the gems are another reason why the rep-pres-sen-tation in SU is nothing but small fractured penny in the gold mine that is anything else going on, with fusion diminishing the relationship representation of Steven U; however you may see it. Now excuse me… this is the hardest part of my job.

Criticizing love

Garnet is not a good embodiment of Ruby and Sapphire’s love; Ruby and Sapphire is. I would love to see Ruby and Sapphire being together and showing me why they decided to elope, but I can’t because Garnet is a curtain that metaphorically and literally covers said love from having anything more to say than “HELL YEAH WE LOVE EACH OTHER!”. You could say ‘Keystone Motel’offered some adversity for the two, but knowing Steven U, it didn’t feel like much beyond me knowing they’re getting back together in the end because they love each other and they just go back to being Garnet because she’s the personification of their love and such.

Fusion is something I have a disdain for now because they’re exchanging two characters’ development of united growth for basically an entirely new/different character, that don’t have much screen time or development anyways (vice versa in Flourite’s case). You could say ‘Know your Fusion’ presented an evolution for Smokey Quartz, among the other known fusions, to being more than a versatile fighter, but not really no. We were already aware that Steven and Amethyst were acknowledged sad sacks before they fused, so what else does this fusion offer differently than in their ability? As for Sardonyx, she hasn’t changed from her first cameo awhile back and her vanity was the only thing that made her stand out in said episode. All in all, fusion doesn’t reflect a relationship, no matter how hard Rebecca Suge Knight is saying otherwise, it reflects an aftermath; one that’s in and out as a firework. This and up ‘til now, the real couples we see are pretty general or under the rug. To show how the most mentioned and presented couple in the series, RubyXSapphire, has continuously got the shaft, I present the one dynamic you’d least expect: A boy and his stuffed toy.

My personally favorite example so far.

Calvin and Hobbes is a series about boy Calvin and his stuffed tiger Hobbes that comes to life through Calvin’s imagination. Reality is like Garnet in this case, where it’s just Calvin having his stuffed animal around to get into zany hijinks like any other kid his age. Then again, the imagination or the living Hobbes is whom is given more of a focus, allowing their dynamic to bloom in a way that wouldn’t be understood if we just saw Calvin just talking to his toy the whole time. It makes their bond feel real and that’s what RubyxSapphire should be, giving them the floor in a way that adds up to Garnet’s eventual debut. “But Monkey Network, what about ‘The Answer’?” The Answer is an episode that, while sweet and good looking, literally danced over much necessary development in favor of only showing us how they eventually stuck to being Garnet forever. Not saying Garnet doesn’t have any character herself, but her integral backstory was/is one of the most beloved and talked about in terms of relationships, yet little has actually been given to us beyond face value and basic understanding and the writers have generally avoid pressing this any further. In a way, that episode diminishes the representation of real queer relationships, bogging it down to early Disney romances like Snow White’s, and practically blindfolds us about what we want to see vs what we should be seeing.

And I already got cute girls not kissing last year. It’s the current fucking year

I would talk about all the other canonning “ships” but nothing comes to mind other than the gems are getting along better than before, Mystery Girl is still fine as fuck, Steven and Connie are bound to elope since it’s been presented since the beginning, Lapis and Peridot get along as college roommates, Lapis might still have issues after Malachite happened, Jasper regrets nothing, Topaz sounds cool from the little we got of them, and everything has amounts to having a sob story and/or a recollection of thoughts just to say “Hey, we’re good together”. They implicitly share infatuation and good vibes to each other, but nothing to say their themes of LGBT, relationships, and characterization are groundbreaking. The latter I’ll get to next time. I mean anybody can put effort into writing a genuine romance novel, though it takes more effort to push the romance to challenging means without leaving skeptics at the door, something Sugar has been very casual about and is starting to openly show in the show. That and tears. Because you know what they say, open emotions are better than emotional maturity. Isn’t that right, TV?

Don’t get me wrong. Rebecca Sugarbark is out here doing her darndest as…

CARTOON. NETWORK’S. FIRST. FEMALE. ANIMATED. SERIES. CREATOR!

and when she does themes right, the show provides some good things to think about. But when she muddles them up or casually throws them in, especially when these themes come from the different aspects of what makes a person different yet real, it is unforgivable. And when people of all ages are watching this, thinking with their living ideologies about what could be used to think differently? This makes for a very risky tightrope that can lead to either people taking it appropriately or blindly, good and bad alike. I can only hope that as the show goes on, there are less assumptions and implications from both the show and the audience alike and more assertions and certainty that elements like representation of any kind are brought to a more applied approach than a glanced approach.

AND STEVEN - POINT #5:

What makes a great character? Charm? Growth? Badassery? Nah, it’s the struggle son. To cheaply quote Pixar: “You admire a character more for trying more than for their successes.” And while Steven does try, does he really fail? Let’s look back. He has three skillful and powerful guardians that care for him. He has a father who is filthy rich (’member that). He has a sweet ass pad. Everyone that knows him likes/respects him. He has powers retained from his mother. He has a lion for a pet. He redeemed/helped three of what were once his enemies. He has a best friend that joins in the action with a sword. He clearly has the capable knowledge of reaching out to anyone. He’s outdone death more than once. He’s practically invulnerable (see “Steven vs. Amethyst”). Everyone that doesn’t like him could eventually see his way with good convincing and a middle road to come to (except Kevin). While there are things he needs to do and characters that’ll he have to confront sooner or later, I’ve started to think less of how he’ll succeed and more of when he’ll succeed. I’m thinking less of who he is and more of what he is. Here’s what I mean…

I don’t see Star Butterfly as an upbeat, independent, cocky, and enduring magical princess who loves rainbows and puppies and struggles to balance fun, romance, and responsibility in one go. I see an up and coming teenage princess that’ll defeat all the evil, hook up with her friend Marco, and claim the title of Mewni’s Queen while doing it all her way.

And I don’t see the JoJo bloodline as a group of distinct protagonists that have their own goals and passions all the while seeking justice against the evil that surrounds them. I see the main characters of 8 different parts that have the ability to defeat the final enemy at the end.

It’s the “Man of Steel” effect; when you do nothing but show how Steven is becoming like or better than Rose, it takes away from letting Steven see who he really is and wants to be. Season one did Steven good (begrudging to say, I know) where he was devious, self-centered, and oblivious but basically was a goofball kid with a good heart; like Ash Williams from Evil Dead. Halfway in and they basically took that away in favor of him just being the pacifistic hippie boy scout that doesn’t want to do wrong or hurt anybody and wants to be a better version of his mama and… and…zzzzzzz. Yeah, I don’t know how to put this, but Steven is now as good of a main character as a sheet of paper. Like, on paper he had potential, but as paper he’s pretty ineffective.

Hell, even paper can show you wonders

“But Monkey Network, he’s a character that goes through many hardships and has a lot on his mind and is going through plenty like most people.” Yes he is, but he’s really done nothing to better himself. “Mindful Education” brings this up, but immediately sweeps it clean in favor of a song about trauma (ironic) and giving Connie more of the floor. And “Storm in the Room” perfectly captures how flat his guilt complex really is…

This episode could’ve given Steven a better perspective on what he wants to be, how he should see Rose, and how things in his life will change from that point on. No, it amounted to saying Rose wasn’t in the wrong for anything (clearly a lie) and Steven being basically gaslighted to believe that he’ll be around to fix what she didn’t do herself, never stating how he should go about doing so. He has guilt and unsure regrets, and yet now nothing feels like things for him are getting any better through his efforts. Knowing that he’s basically Jesus, I am stunned I don’t see him curing every ill-ridden human on the planet and is instead trying to make peace with everything that wants him dead. Also, if I wanted a show that mirrors the possible regret and turmoil I force myself to suffer with everyday, weed and a literal mirror would create a similar effect. And all this leads to–

“But Monkey Network, he’s at least a pacifist who tries. He only wants to share peace and enlightenment to everyone he meets and that includes those who are trying to defeat them.” True, but there is something called “being pushed to a limit”. Yeah I see Steven stand up for himself while choosing not to hit anybody, but there are some people that don’t deserve anything but a good blow to the face. We see Steven get angry and mean, but has he really been pushed to a limit?

Mob Psycho 100 (Ep. 3) A limit that, while possessing regretting, let’s one know they can be a force to be reckoned with?

Trigun: Badlands Rumble A limit that forces them to take immense action without breaking their code of pacifistic honor?

I mean there’s being a pacifist, and there’s being an peaceful spouting wimp I can whup easily before somebody beats me up to stop it. The point of having pacifism in a show is the counterpoint where that ideology’s being tested and momentous reactions result from it. Yeah, he showed sheer ire towards Kevin in that one episode but that was it, and that was a one off excursion with the only irredeemable character in the series. Now I know violence is not always the answer and this isn’t suppose to be a violent show, whatever, but violence is present more than enough times in this show. So I must topically ask, what was stopping Steven from five knuckle shuffling Aquamarine when he clearly had the chance to, freeing his friends and getting the chance to escape their clutches? There’s the peaceful route, and there’s showing us nothing.

Boy must have a weak ass jab

“But Monkey Network, he has development and growth with this being a coming-of-age story.” True dat, but to an extent. I’ve noticed that when it comes to Steven Universe’s development, everyone is given development with Steven tagging behind. Connie, Amethyst, Pearl, Peridot, Lapis, Lars, you see them learning and growing on the front lines, but Steven’s been kinda consistent wouldn’t you say? I mean, he does grow in seeing many different perspectives, but does he really grow with the said varied perspectives or does he just acknowledge them while doing his usual helping routine to try making things better? You know who is a better main character than Steven? Well….

You could get with this^Or you could get with thatv

Wouldn’t you agree? They’re forced to look out of their comfort zone, they make mistakes but see to getting back up, they grow to understand how this new world works and take it to heart, they’re not mopey little shits and constantly take initiative, still having a lot to learn, and I find their voices less annoying than Steven’s. Okay, that last part is a preference but still.

I’ll say Steven’s a fine protagonist, but he’s a boring protagonist to sum it up. Nothing about him makes me want to care anymore and while I look towards new episodes, all I can do now is tolerate him. They could do better with season 5 upping the ante, but at this point I’m more invested in the world of Steven Universe than Steven himself, and that is sad. You know your cartoon is crumbling where your world generally revolves around the main character and said MAIN CHARACTER is whack! Rebecca Sugar Schnapps and her crew just better git good this season; because it can look good and sound good as long as it wants, but it needs to feel good to be a real show, you feel me?

And that’s my Troof. The whole and nothing but. Thank you <3 Roy M.