#it ain't gonna happen and the book doesn't even give off that vibe | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kamenstranger · 1 year ago

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Before I dive into this review proper I want to give a heads-up that I am about to get into book spoilers and will be approaching this review with the assumption you've read the source material, which the show also expects. Likewise, I cannot talk about the show without getting into spoilers, due to the very nature of it. If you want my one piece of spoiler-free advice; think of it as a spin-off. Cause it kinda is. You'll have a much better time in that "What If?/Elseworlds" mindset.

If spoilers are cool with you, let's jump into it.

So, I was pretty much obsessed with the series in 2010. I was about 17/18 when I first got into the series. The 6th book wasn't out yet, and I can't even remember how I got into the series to begin with. But I believe I ordered volume 1 followed by 2-5 as soon as I finished, or maybe I went all in. I know for a fact I preordered vol. 6 when I finished vol 5. Still have the receipt for it; July 18th, 2010. 10.58 total.

I followed the various video updates on the movie, fan art, fell in love with the game, bought a Smashing Pumkins shirt, and the Anamanaguchi soundtrack was even the first digital album I bought for myself. I was basically just at the right age and state of mind for the series to grab me and have a profound effect with its themes. I think it's something I needed at the time.

But as much as the series meant to me, it's something I mostly moved on from. After all, the book ended in 2010, and until recently I probably hadn't reread it since 2013 or so. My books are in remarkable condition, actually. I mostly kept up with O'Malley's other works, and preordered Seconds when that was announced. Sadly haven't been keeping up with Snotgirl as much as I'd like, but I digress.

So when the show got announced… well, honestly my first reaction was "That thing they should've done after the Adult Swim short" Because, yeah, animation is a better medium for it. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the 2010 movie- one of the best theater experiences because the like 5 other people in the audience were massive fan girls loving all the bits. And there is a lot to love about the movie: its visual gags; the performances; the music selection; the overall direction- seriously, Edgar Wright doesn't get enough credit for how good he is at keying in on visuals. Dude knows how to translate comic panels and mimic the vibe of the source.

But it lacked the depth of the books. There's no major character arc for Scott and Ramona addressing their flaws. Hell, the books weren't even finished yet. There are a ton of great translations from comic to screen, but mostly the superficial. Moments like Scott's meeting with Knives in the alley showing that he's becoming more empathetic and confronting his mistakes are either absent or glossed over. Likewise, Knives' own journey of maturity isn't there. This isn't a complaint mind you, it's not like those cuts are unreasonable. I can hardly blame them for not cramming 6 (and incomplete) books into a two hour film. That just ain't gonna happen.

The biggest advantage in a series as opposed to a movie is the opportunity to properly explore the characters beyond a surface level. I'm not saying anything particularly revolutionary by stating the most universally agreed-upon element from the books is that Scott is a bit of a shit.

However, I think that statement is overly simplifying the situation and the character, one far too often invoked by hack frauds who don't truly engage with the work, because clickbait engagement is more valued than a nuanced analytical one. I won't sit here unpacking the full 6 volumes, you can check out someone like Popculturebuffet for that. But part of what works so well with Scott is that we don't initially know the extent of his baggage- and rightfully so. His worst aspect early on is ignorantly getting involved with Knives in the first place, stringing her along even after becoming enamored with Ramona, and being a bit of a slacker. This is something which is pointed out by literally everyone (sans Stephen) as being shitty. But otherwise, he seems fairly average and even endearing in a way. Scott's an affable character that's easy to like in spite of his very major flaws, and that's a statement that remains true throughout. The reader doesn't even get to simmer much on the scenario with Knives until later- and to some degree, this even applies to Scott himself. He's slightly oblivious to his actions, past and present. A prime example would be that we're initially under the impression that Scott doesn't like to drink, which is mostly true. Mostly.

It's not until volume 6 that it becomes clear he got into a drunken fight with Envy on New Year's, suddenly re-contextualizing that and other events. It doesn't negate how Envy was very much a bitch who treated Scott like complete garbage, cheated on him, and screwed his head up something fierce. She is unequivocally the worse person there. But it adds nuance that wasn't present before. I focus on the event with Envy because it's sort of a perfect microcosm of Scott as a character. Scott "doesn't" drink because of what happened, except on the 3-4 social occasions over the course of the 6 volumes, showing how he has a habit of just flat-out lying in various ways, including to himself. He's aware on some level, but simultaneously suppresses that awareness from memory and even re-imagines scenarios outright (Sometimes with a little help, unbeknownst to him) acting like everything was always fine on his end. This is even more true in his prior relationship with Kim.

Scott's solutions are half measures where he can pretend that he was always the victim in a breakup, or at least innocent and free of blame, thus never growing in a meaningful manner. Hell, that's the reason he ended up with Knives in the first place; he was trying to get over Envy, but not in a healthy manner. Change is seen as scary to Scott, and yet it's inevitable. That is, at least due in part to Envy changing into a hateful person. As such, Scott wants something simple where he doesn't have to put in effort. Knives is naive and doesn't see Scott for the dick that he is, she doesn't ask him to be better because he's already perfect to her naive mind. It's shallow, and a tad messed up, and everyone knows it, including Scott- hence his continued dreams about being alone. He knows it's not, cannot, and never will be serious. He's stupid, but not a monster- but stupidity can be a form of malice if one doesn't change their heart. It's not exactly like the story is even subtle about this. The entire existence of Nega Scott is that you can't fight the past, you can't run from it even if you hate that part of you. You have to confront it and accept it to move on, hopefully changing for the better. To say nothing of how Gideon is what Scott could become if he never owned up to it. That angle is why I felt Scott and Ramona worked. Quite frankly, Ramona is just as flawed of an individual running from her past. She's constantly trying to change herself, but always on a surface level. She's afraid of normalcy, of being stuck in a routine, of being happy. She makes out (Not that much) with her ex, Roxie, in anger because she sees Scott hanging with Lisa Miller and suspects the worst. She (rightfully) gets enraged at how Scott was still with Knives when he and her first went out, thus cheating- yet she did the same with the Katayanagi twins, and possibly Lucas. And, ya know, she never formally handed off the breakup letter to Gideon, so she's kinda doing the same thing Scott did with Knives and her. Ramona's past is just as checkered as Scott's. She's just as jealous, hypocritical, and nuanced. It just takes longer to realize that because she puts up emotional barriers and isn't the titular character/main focus. Neither one is evil, but they've wronged people. Often they've been wronged, and sometimes it's not a clean-cut scenario of easily blaming anyone. For all the great supporting cast, gags, fun references, and so forth, our two main protagonists being flawed yet likable is what makes the series compelling. The heart is two people gradually learning to get over their selves and their mistakes. To stop running away, and accept their faults and one another. Over the 6 books, we see them (albeit mainly Scott) put in the effort to be better, to build and maintain something special, and not just go with what's simple and easy. It's not about fighting the exes, it's about fighting for each other.

That type of character arc requires time for development. So, when it comes to this Netflix series, my biggest hope was simply that they would capture that element found within the books. In the lead-up to the show, there were some rumors about the exes having more to do, and I can see that working. As much as I do think the book does a fine job, Todd and Roxie are the only ones with a decent amount of depth. Matthew works perfectly because his simple backstory is a gag in itself. Lee is a fun character with a tiny bit of backstory, but it's barely there. Gideon I can forgive due to his mysterious final boss nature and his schtick is being the extreme opposite of Scott. But the Twins? They're shafted pretty hard. They're there to fill out a roster. Honestly, though, even Roxie would've benefited greatly from the smallest of backstories ala Lucas Lee. She's perhaps the most interesting because she and Ramona are on good enough terms to have coffee together. Hell, Rox genuinely cares for Ramona, and unlike Lucas Lee, she's prominent enough in the story that a simple flashback could have been the cherry on top of all that.

The other part is streamlining story elements. No surprise there. From the get-go, O'Malley said it was not a 1-1 adaptation, and honestly, it shouldn't be. Some parts should be changed for the sake of convenience, and frankly, the book has some superfluous parts. Does anyone even remember Jason Kim? He shows up like twice as "dude with car" and apparently dating Kim Pine until dorking her housemate. That gives the impression of each character having their own life and drama that we're not privy to, which is nice. But it's also not important to include outside the books. Kim (Pine) becoming self-conscious when Envy is brought up, smiling when Scott stays over, or her dead-eyed expression as she lies during the fight with the Twins. All of that says far more about her, her feelings, her love life etc.

Then there's Knives' dad. Fun in the book, wouldn't take him out. But completely unneeded for emotional and narrative development. Sometimes you gotta look at the source material and realize that even if you like something, tacking on an extra hour for the most obvious whodunit would kill the pacing in an adaptation. (That was a LOTR reference for those playing at home)

However, the above scenarios are a trepidatious path. How does one decide what needs reworking, cutting, or expanding? They're necessary for an adaption, but they're not always obvious. If you're not careful, you can completely undermine or mishandle key elements that made the original so beloved. You risk removing seemingly innocuous moments that add a lot to a character's growth. Above, I mentioned that the Twins got shafted in the book, but there isn't really a good place to expand upon them in the original story. They're not as important as Ramona's growing discontent. It's why Scott's fight with robot 01 is relegated to background gags while we focus on Ramona and Kim. You could put a flashback during the final confrontation with the Twins, but that would muck up the pacing and take away from Kim's far more important character moment in lying to Scott to bolster him. The Twins are just narrative scaffolding holding a spotlight on what we should be focusing on. That's what all the exes are to some extent. Shallow, sure, but only so the other characters get depth.

It's not an easy line to walk. If you push too hard on telling a more original story or focus too much on "correcting" various details, you can negate what were otherwise successful plot points. Do too little and the pacing falls apart because the medium is completely different. Would the changes made still contain a similar level of depth and satisfying character arcs, or would it merely be a shallow reworking of the broadest of strokes? The only way to not lose is not to play. These are the concerns I had in the lead up to the show, which is fairly routine. We also weren't getting a lot of information storywise, aside from that it would be mostly doing its own thing (This is something that should have been emphasized more in marketing) The trailers showed familiar set pieces; that Ramona delivers DVDs for Netflix now, which is a great and absurd change; You saw some of the streamlining by having Scott rent Lucas Lee films, thus inadvertently getting a head start on that and cutting out the No Account Video segment; there's a brief original bit where Ramona talks to Julie about how well the date with Scott went. Most of the setting also looked like it was from the first and sixth volumes, which was a tad odd. But other than that, they were tight lipped about the narrative. Most of the promotional focus was on music, the returning cast, and the animation. All great things unique to this medium that we will get into in due time. Speaking of, let's finally discuss

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

So you know how Final Fantasy 7 Remake emphasized the "Remake" part? Well, we kinda have that here with the "Take Off" part.

I'll just cut right to the chase. Scott seemingly dies in the fight with Patel in the first episode. Episode two is his absolutely absurd funeral. Almost the rest of the episode is centered around Patel wanting to take over the league for himself, and succeeding in doing so, gaining all of Gideon's assets, while the league dissolves once they realize Patel didn't even get Ramona back after winning.

This is uh, certainly a direction to go.

Let's put aside not following the source material and this being an original story. Why should I care about this story? I'll concede that he and Gideon have a great fight. The animation from Science Saru is great, and the voice performances are great: Shoutouts to Satya Bhabha, his delivery is impeccable, hilarious, and a major highlight of the show. But why should I care about these events, this retake? What's the hook? Thus far, the primary purpose of the show feels like a fake out, gags, and fights. I spent the opening of this review going over the emotional weight of the books, that's the anchor. So far, I'm getting moments without substance. Am I supposed to care because I have a prior connection to these characters? This is something I wouldn't figure out a proper description and answer for until the finale. My issues also felt exacerbated by both the advertisements not making the original story angle clear, and also how good the first episode starts off. Because Cera as Scott is truly perfect. Cera was a voice actor before transitioning to the screen, and his performance is top-notch in addition to being a great vocal fit to begin with. So it's kinda disappointing to not have him around for quite a bit. Anyway, the second episode ends with Ramona dreaming and hearing Scott's voice, meaning that Scott isn't dead, he's in Subspace or somewhere.

Episode 3: Ramona Rents a Video.

As if answering one of my questions immediately, the third episode finally gives a hook as Ramona starts playing detective, like Pikachu Columbo. That's the selling point, that this is primarily Ramona's story.

She checks out footage of the Patel fight, showing that someone pulled Scott through a portal (Hence the title of the show, wink-wink.) Ramona then heads to First Cup to get a person of interest list from Julie- which is a pretty damn funny sequence, actually. I'm starting to enjoy the show at this point, and it's kinda wild how much more enjoyable Julie is in both the movie and show compared to the comics. Sure, she's a bitch, but she's a fun bitch due in no small part to Aubrey Plaza's wonderfully riled vocals. After getting the necessary info, Ramona is led to Kim since she knew Scott the longest. We even get a cute story about the poorly drawn Sheep Scott did, which looks hilariously WAY worse in the show.

There's also a key comment from Kim that I think is to make a point for dorks like me. Kim mentions that she was once kidnapped by a guy named Simon and rescued by Scott. That was a false memory of Scott's in the books. In vol. 6, Kim pointed out to Scott that Simon was just a dude she went out with like twice, probably hugged, and Scott beat up. This is one of a number of clues that seem to be here to firmly establish this isn't the same continuity as the books being messed with, and should not be thought of as a sequel if that was a concern.

Anyways, their conversation is cut short when Roxie arrives in the hope of rekindling her former flame. But things go south pretty quickly and Roxie's hotheadedness takes over.

What follows is one of the best fights in the show, equal parts funny and clever. Hell, it starts with Rox drawing her sword and accidentally cutting the sprinkler line. It adds a dramatic pseudo rain that's completely negated by Kim's wonderfully deadpan expression as all the damn tapes in the store become soaked.

During the scuffle with Ramona, a shelf of movies falls on the two which… somehow transports them into various movies? I dunno, we're working off video game logic, I guess Gex counts. It's a sequence that I'm sure was done purely for looking interesting. To its credit, the visual styling is on point. From Japanese historical drama to a post-Matrix early 2000s green filter era, to a scratchy film-grain-heavy WW2 film. The backing track also flows into each film genre. I also love a quick gag where Kim watches the fight on a CRT and fucks around with the rewind and pause feature, allowing Ramona to counter an earlier attack. Roxie gets knocked back into the store, smashes the remote, and gets dragged back into the movies by Ramona. That's great.

As the fight continues, Ramona and Rox begin arguing about their relationship, and we get that flashback sequence! It's a small thing, but they show that Ramona left without a word and how that tore Roxie up. Good lord, someone hug that poor girl, she looks like a sad puppy. In a legit great moment, Ramona has to confront how she treated Roxie, sincerely apologizing for it, which Roxie tearfully accepts it. I gotta say, Mae Whitman really gets to shine in the role more than ever. She's one of those I point to when talking about just how perfect everyone sounds exactly how I'd expect.

After the fight, she hangs out with Ramona and Kim for a bit, being very flirty with both. Kim even smooches her for the hell of it, although both admit there wasn't anything there. But hey, they managed to still get a Bi-curious Kim in here, and in a way that was better than in the books.

Elsewhere, a beat-to-hell Gideon arrives in town, meeting with Julie, an old schoolmate.

I legitimately liked this, there's actual emotional weight going on, there's interesting shit being done, and I'm settling into the show's intent. I like the idea of giving Ramona her own story with a slight focus on how she feels about her past. I think her going out of the way as much as she does for Scott, a dude she just met, is a little flimsy. Again, it's really expecting the audience to care because we, in theory, care about them getting together.

Ep. 4: Whatever.

Things get really fucking meta in this one. Ruling Roxie out as the kidnapper, who didn't even know Scott was alive, Ramona turns her attention to Lucas Lee, who is starting a new picture in Toronto.

Turns out the movie is from Young Neil's screenplay, which "he" wrote back in ep 3, or rather a mysterious "sleep paralysis demon" he saw did. The movie is about Scott's life if he won the fight with Patel.

This toying with the universe thing is getting a little unsettling.

Most of this episode is one big meta gag about making a Scott Pilgrim movie with Director Edgar Wrong. I'm not even mad at this, I'm just completely flabbergasted at what the hell I'm seeing. And this will become a reoccurring bit throughout.

Also hope you like gags about Knives' age cause holy shit they reference this a lot throughout the show.

It's at this point in my viewing process I have developed a headache.

To give some credit, Lucas is fun in this episode. He's more in line with the film version, and Evans actually sounds better than ever, likely thanks to age and simply having more to say. And like with Roxie, Lee has a Flashback. There isn't much more than what was in the book, but I think the presentation is better. Seeing Ramona patch him up after a bad fall, and Lucas arranging his Locker (which is filled with photos of Ramona) as she and Todd walk behind him. Man, that stings.

Needless to say, Lee isn't responsible for Scott's disappearance and with the whole "controversy" regarding him dating a 31 year old actress playing a highschooler, he's hounded off the lot and has to be replaced by Todd, which seems to be a reoccurring thing for him.

Ep. 5: Lights. Camera. Sparks?!

I'm now starting to believe this entire show may have been an elaborate troll towards people obsessed with adaptation accuracy to a fault. I almost want to applaud the sheer audacity of it. Suffice it to say, 95% of this episode is done in a documentary style, and there are a lotta hijinks on set. Ramona is working as Envy's stunt double just so she can have easier access to the set and hopefully get a lead from Todd. Wallace also bones Todd. A LOT. Oh yes, Wallace shacks up with Todd, and Todd is really into it. Wallace, on the other hand, just wanted to hook up with a hot dude, leading to a whole excursion and depressive vegan breaking episode for Todd. Brandon Routh really gets to go full ham here, and it's wonderful.

Some damn funny parts aside, Todd wasn't behind the portal, but it was certainly vegan in nature. Ramona is otherwise back to Square one until Patel, by happenstance, arrives on the lot to fire everyone. Afterward, Patel has a brief confluence with Stephen Stills and Knives, who manage to get an in with him. Since Scott's apparent death, Knives has taken his place in Sex-Bob-omb on Bass (and keyboard) making decent music with Stephen Stills. The importance of that will come into play next episode.

Patel then turns his attention to Ramona. Obviously, Patel wouldn't have any reason to keep Scott around, but it's entirely plausible Gideon, or rather his real identity, Gordon Goose, would as part of a revenge scheme.

Ep. 6: WHODIDIT. This episode starts with probably the best opening gag that I kinda don't wanna ruin despite spoiling everything else. I'm probably gonna be adding "I was gone for 90 %#&! minutes" to my quotes, though.

In any case, this is a fairly straightforward episode. Ramona interviews Julie once again, but it becomes clear that Gideon, Goose, has neither the mental state nor resources to pull something like that off. As an aside, we get a flashback with him as well, showing that he was the school nerd. He supposedly had no fear (No pain) until he aimed well above his status in asking a girl out, leading to him being laughed out of school, which Julie remembers all too well.

It seems like another dead-end, but when Ramona accompanies Julie back to her house, they both see a familiar Robot, the Twins' 01 Robot, which has been making very unsubtle appearances in every episode up to this point; Lee's place; outside the video store; the studio lot, etc. We also have a B-plot with Stephen Stills and Knives making music for a stage adaption of Neil's Screenplay so it doesn't go to waste.

Cute.

It's here where it becomes known that Neil didn't write the script, and upon checking the original file, realize something is off and that Ramona should be informed. All parties gather in Ramona's apartment as she goes over the pertinent information in whodidit (dunit?) fashion, including treating us to another flashback, this time with the twins. It's probably the least engaging of the flashbacks, honestly. Even in this, they get shafted. Regardless, the who and how are solved. But Not the why or where. Where Scott is remains a mystery, but it's likely the Twins know, which is where Ramona intends to check out.

Oh, and the information the gang has about Neil's Script? The metadata says it was written 14 years from now. But just as more questions are raised, another winds up on Ramona's doorstep; Scott, safe and mostly sound. The Twins were in fact behind it, and the robot, and… himself.

Ep. 7: 2 Scott 2 Pilgrim.

Yes, the one who pulled Scott out of Time was himself, from the future; a 37 year old Scott. The how is rather simple and already answered; the Katayanagi twins. Older Scott and them became friends in the future, even starting a band; Pop'n TwinBee (RIP Shatterband.) By the way, if you ever wanted to hear Will Forte sing a hilariously bad cover of Konya Wa Hurricane from Bubblegum Crisis as an older Scott Pilgrim, this is the show for you. I was laughing my ass off at this.

Anyway, the robot was disconnected from a fixed time stream, and being a vegan cause, ya know, robot, is able to create portals. Therefore Time portals. As to the why, Scott showed his past self using a virtual reality machine on the Virtual Guuy[sic], complete with red and black pixel art mimicking the style of the game. Past Scott sees memories on the not Virtual Boy; Defeating the Evil Exes, future marriage to Ramona, their honey moon at Universal… and divorce. Well, technically they're just separated after 13 odd years of marriage. Older Scott has since been living with Wallace and his husband.

Exactly what happened is never stated, just that the pain was so much Scott decided to follow through on a sarcastic comment from Wallace and prevent falling for Ramona in the first place. Old Wallace sums up the mental state of Old Scott to regular Scott, describing it as "Like after Envy, times ten." Which uh, yeah, no wonder Older Scott's a tad kooky.

It's at this point I have to bring up personal stuff, and it's something that I thought I might have to. So, when Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour dropped in 2010, I distinctly remember reading an interview with O'Malley about the ending. In the lead-up to the final book there was a lot of speculation from fans that maybe Scott and Ramona wouldn't end up together (there was a strong case to be made for Kim) maybe it would end badly since both Scott and Ramona have their struggles. Some people even thought he would end up with Knives, which is missing the entire point of her character arc, and also fuck no.

Ultimately we got the ending we did because, at the time, O'Malley was happy, so he thought Scott should be happy. But O'Malley divorced in 2014.

I dislike bringing that up, but that was leading me to speculate (and brace myself) if that would have an impact here. I mean, how could it not? And look, there is a good argument that Scott and Ramona needn't stay together for their journey together to be satisfying. It would fit right in line with the theme that things don't always stay the same. People can grow apart, even the important ones that change your life. I don't like that outcome, but it's not as if it's wrong to consider. Particularly for a story like this.

But I also think there's an element of overt cynicism to that. What's interesting is that the show doesn't go in that direction. In fact, it's actually insistent that Ramona and Scott can't help but be drawn to one another, there's a spark there. We even get a scene of Scott hooking up the 01 robot to the VR, and since 01 is connected across time, he can see into the past versions. The robot seen throughout the show was Scott seeing that Ramona was constantly looking for him, and that's genuinely sweet.

Still, the situation is bad, as Scott is trapped in the future and can't use the Robot to travel for reason.

On Young Scott's insistence, he and Older Wallace meet up with Older Ramona, discovering she was the one who went back in time and wrote Young Neil's Screenplay in a failed attempt to preserve their story and hopefully thwart Older Scott. (Let's not go crossed-eyed thinking too hard about paradoxes)

He's a misguided idiot, but Ramona still loves the moron, even if she has her doubts after her failed plan. But Scott's words of encouragement about his Ramona never giving up on him gives her hope. Importantly, she can time travel with her DeLorean roller blades, which is how Scott can and did get back to the past.

But even after Scott's return and reunion, their problems aren't over, as a force field prevents Ramona and Scott from kissing. Someone is still interfering, and the list of who might as well just be the entire list of exes. Thankfully, Stephen Stills and Knives have a convenient plan: The stage musical is going to have all the exes in attendance, so they've got one big gathering spot to get to the bottom of this.

This is one of my favorite episodes of the show. It's cool seeing older versions of the characters, and frankly, the presentation is just great. I do think that too much of that emotional weight is relying on events from the books for your investment. I know, I know. Can't enjoy a good thing without a critique. Still, this is a great episode, one of my favorites along with ep. 3, and our next and final episode.

Oh, and the end credits has a proper rendition of Konya Wa Hurricane, so that's fucking cool.

Ep. 8: The World Vs Scott Pilgrim.

So here we are at the big finale at the premiere of the Scott Pilgrim Musical.

The thing is, none of the exes seem to be suspect. Gideon is the only one with ulterior motives, but they're not towards Scott and Ramona, he just wants to blow up the stage and Matthew Patel.

But not long after everyone is seated something goes awry. A portal appears and transports all the exes and Scott's friend group (And also Julie and the robot) to a barren land.

The one behind this, and the force field, was an Even Older and very buff Scott (47) He slipped past Scott nano machines as a backup to prevent him from ever getting close to Ramona, but even that wasn't enough. So for 10 years he trained to take everyone out, as it's the only way to be sure. And so our final battle begins: The World vs. Scott Pilgrim. If you listen closely to the track during this scene "Big Bad" incorporates elements of "The Dark One" Nega Scott's theme from the game. That's a nice touch.

Even Older Scott is no pushover, he breaks Ramona's Hammer, and despite a fairly good comeback from regular Scott, he beats him pretty bad. The others come to his aid, Knives attacking with daggers, but Even Older Scott punches Knives so hard he knocks the highlights our of her hair.

Ramona begins handing out items from her bag, cyber broccoli for Todd, a cyber skateboard for Lucas, and a cyber sword for Roxie, just as the sub boss music from the game kicks in. Along with Matthew's mystic arts, they mange to actually lay into Even Older Scott, but that only causes him… to go… even further beyond, and One hit KO the four.

The Twins Robot is ineffectual and even Gideon's not quite the glow-douken has no effect. Even Older Scott just grabs it and turns it against Stephen, Knives, Kim, and Neil. This. This is actually fucking awesome. It's going full Shonen ham.

We're down to just Ramona and Scott, who team up and hit him together, followed by Scott and Even Older Scott literally butting heads. We get our obligatory speech between a younger Scott just wanting to live his life, and Even Older Scott saying he'll just end up where he's at if he does.

And it finally clicked into place what the hell Scott Pilgrim Takes Off actually is. This is like a Shonen spin off story. Your Broly Trilogy, Hunter X Hunter The Last Mission, Naruto Blood Mission. But with an X-men time travel plot slapped on. It's an excuse to play around and do different (mostly cool) shit with a set of familiar characters. Like a movie or OVA, the characterization isn't as deep as the main source material. It banks on you giving a damn because of the familiarity so they can mostly get right to the cool bits and not try as hard or waste time on the re-interpretative parts. Don't think too hard about the misgivings, think about Akuma Scott beating the shit out of everyone while the familiar music you're nostalgic for plays.

And goddamn that's frustrating because that's what they should've led with. All the damn trailers were dancing around the new material and making it seem like an adaptation. To keep on the Anime brand, if people are expecting a "Brotherhood" or "Ultimate" version with a Cast they like, and then they don't get that… well yeah that's not gonna go over well. I can't fault anyone for being mad about that. That's having the rug pulled out from under you. But once you realize what this is, and what it's doing, it's a lot easier to enjoy and be its own thing. It branches off a similar story to the books, but it's not like this is a canonical revision or sequel to them.

That said, just because it's "less developed" doesn't mean this is without heartfelt moments I enjoy. When it seems like Even Older Scott has the upper hand, an even older Ramona shows up to chew old Scott out for not even texting in 10 years, fighting people in the past rather than fighting for them, all because of one rough patch. It's funny, but it also confirms the biggest divergence. This is a world where Scott was never kicked out during the Roxie chapter, a world without Gideon's "Glow" mental manipulation, and presumably Scott never faced his inner demons because of it. This also means Ramona didn't run off after the twins' defeat because the glow wasn't affecting her mentality, and thus she faced her own. That one line snowballs into a lot of stuff not happening for their character growth. That- that is an interesting concept.

This all leads to a poignant scene where Ramona questions her older self if she should even bother. What's the point if it ends up like this? Maybe it's best to just keep moving. But, that's also Ramona's thing, isn't it? Running away from what she loves, which is presumably (along with his own stupidity) what set Older Scott down a spiral in the first place. In a scene that parallels Scott's own understanding within the books, Ramona comes to realize she's ran all her life.

In the end, Ramona chooses to stop running and embrace herself, quite literally. Both Ramona's combining into, as Scott puts it "Super Ramona" Able to see the situation for what it is, one Scott still in many ways a dumb kid, the other Scott just a sad mess. She simply sends Older Scott back to his time with the hope he'll straighten out. Meanwhile, the nano machines are still a problem with current Scott. But that's nothing a super form can't overload with a determined kiss. Daww.

Before things go back to normal and because she'll have trouble saying it later, she tells Scott she loves him, and that she tends to run away from what she loves. But who she was in the past isn't who she is now. She just needs help remembering that.

Everyone returns to the theater to enjoy the rest of the musical, and Patel's demon girls subvert Gideon's plans. After the show, he and Julie are apprehended, but Matthew instead begs Gideon to take all his crap back. He has no idea how to run a company, is stressed out, and has lost billions. All Matthew wants is to continue the stage show.

We then get an epilogue. Lucas Lee takes up a job at Second First Cup; Todd has returned to being a Vegan with coaching from Roxie; The rental store Kim worked at closes down; Wallace takes a vacation to Paris where he meets Mobile; Knives continues performing with Sex-Bob-Omb as their keyboardist; Ramona gives up delivery work and instead returns to being a stunt double.

We end on Ramona coloring her hair once again, before heading out and meeting with Scott and the others, as Plumtree's Scott Pilgrim plays us off.

Only for a mid-credits scene to show Gideon and Julie plotting revenge. Oooo.

And that is Scott Pilgrim Takes Off.

s'allright, innit? Okay, joking aside- I think I'm gonna have a hard time conveying my feelings on this one. But I still have three more things to talk about before we get to my final thoughts.

First off, the voice acting is great, shockingly great. I'm a person who is very much of the mindset that you should hire voice actors for voice roles BUT, in this instance, I can understand why. It's incredible they got everyone back and how well they work. I've already given my praise to Cera, Bhabha, Plaza, Whitman, Routh, and Evans in the story portion of this review. But I'm drastically overdue to talk about Winstead's performance. I think this was the one people were most curious about because in the movie there was this aura of Ramona feeling more "cold" in her personality. This was due to the original direction they wanted to take that version, and sadly it meant we didn't quite get a more angles. Here? Yeah, this is pretty great. We hear Ramona full of regret, angry, annoyed, sentimental. It's a much more well-rounded version. My one nitpick is Winstead needs to work on her battle cries, it really stands out in the Roxie fight opposite a veteran VA like Whitman. But otherwise, this is how I imagine Ramona sounding. And I'd be remiss if I didn't bring up how anytime Ramona has a vulnerable moment talking about Scott, she genuinely sounds smitten. The Future Ramona (the first one) in particular stands out to me. That's a version of the character that's older, clearly hurt, and weary, but still very much in love. I can't help imagining that being applied to scenes from the book. In Vol. 5 the part after The Twins are defeated and Scott returns. That scene always tears me apart when I read it. I'm fairly certain if I heard Cera and Winstead's performance of that it would rip my soul out. So maybe it's best we only have this original story. So yeah, I'm happy to see that she fits right into the role better than ever.

Another performance I've yet to mention is Ellen Wong, who is just as perfectly energetic as she was in the film. It's a shame we don't get to hear her do a somber Knives in this setting, but it's hard to complain with how pleasant it is hearing her chipper over the top excitement. Alison Pill's Kim Pine is as sardonic as always, and much like Routh and Evans, I think she's even better now. Johnny Simmon sounds exactly the same, no complaints, 10/10. Jason Schwartzman is an experienced VA, so no surprise he sounds fine. He doesn't get to stretch out much since Gideon isn't super prominent here. Although episode 6 did show a lot of range and potential for what you could do with him. Maybe next season? Similarly Brie Larson's Envy doesn't have a whole lot of screen time, but she's equal parts charming and manipulative. Honestly, for a small as the role is, it made me realize just how much Larson is good at the role and how that level of emotion is often subdued in roles elsewhere. Honestly, I hate to say it, but Mark Webber's Stephen Stills is probably one of the weaker performances on the show. It's not even that it's bad, it's fine and works- except for the animation. That's the one caveat. There are a couple of moments where Stephen Stills is pantomiming, and the voice doesn't match that energy. Truth be told, I even sorta have a similar issue with Kieran Culkin's Wallace, which I swear looks like the syncing was off in the earlier episodes. The saving grace is that Wallace has more scenes than Stephen Stills and therefore Culkin got more opportunities. This is sorta the area I mean when I think it's best to get trained VA. It's a completely different medium and hard to jump into immediately.

I don't wanna end this segment on a downer, so I'll once again mention Will Forte sings Like a Hurricane. OH, Segue.

Soundtrack

So I did not know what to expect going into this. I mean, I was a fan of Anamanaguchi, but I hadn't kept up since Endless Fantasy, sans the Miku single- which is really good by the way. And Joseph Trapanese I was most familiar with from his collaboration with Daft Punk on Tron Legacy, so no worries there. But I did wonder how well a chiptune heavy sound would work. As much as I dig it, it's a very upbeat vibe. Even some of Anamanaguchi's more dramatic tracks have a charming bubbliness to them. How would that work within a series? Well, the short answer is they don't have as much chiptune going on as you would assume. There are a few that incorporate chiptunes to a limited degree, others a bit more, but most not at all. The vast majority of the OST is more traditional fair and Synthwave, and in a way, it sorta mimics my own evolving tastes. I still listen to Chiptune stuff, but I'm also really big into synth music nowadays. It feels like a proper bookend to my late-teens early twenties listening to Anamanaguchi, and later Dance with the Dead and Midnight Danger, and now Anamanaguchi's synth offerings. One of the tracks, Yet Another Winter Again (Calling back to the first stage in The Game) has a Redbook audio sound with a hint of Chiptune, but not the NES/GB Anamanaguchi is known for. It sounds like a SNES. In fact, I would compare the track to something you'd hear in VA-11 Hall-A. So even when there are chiptunes, we're branching out quite a bit in both sound fonts and style. Of course, there are a couple of vocal tracks as well. Like the movie, there are universe songs for Sex-Bob-Omb. They have a unrefined roughness to them, which is perfect for a small unprofessional indie band. As for some of my favorite tracks, the aforementioned Yet Another Winter Again; He's You; And They were Roommates; Blame it on the Goose; Big Bad; Bad Guys; Knives & Kim; and God Only Knows. I'm sure that'll change as time goes on. I'm really digging Lucas' flashback music, and Fond Memories, nice parallel between those two. In fact there's quite a few pieces that, in tandem with the animation, do a lot to sell those heartwarming (or wrenching) moments.

Animation.

Oh right, the animation. So, if you read my Castlevania Nocturne review, you know I went on a slight tangent about how I think it's silly that they labeled it an anime despite it being produced and partly animated in goddamn Texas. It was just a label because they're embarrassed to call their super serious animation what it is because they think anime sounds more mature. I swear some people still think it's 1985 and Vampire Hunter D is the wildest shit cause blood.

Funny thing about Scott Pilgrim though, it's just straight-up animated by Science Saru. I'm not here to get into semantics, because then we'll be asking if Batman TAS counts because Sunrise. I just find it funny. At the very least Takes Off certainly fits the bill more than Nocturne does. But back on topic, it's fucking good. I mean, I don't think that comes as any surprise. Science Saru has made a name for doing really impressive work from Devilman Crybaby, to Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!, and the shorts Akakiri and T0-B1 for Star Wars Visions. Not to mention supplemental work for the Garo anime, OK-KO, and Adventure Time. So Scott Pilgrim is perfectly in their wheelhouse, and they do an incredible job capturing O'Malley's illustrations while adding their own unique flare to the styling.

Sadly Tumblr's gif size limit means I can't easily showcase some of the fights as much as I'd like, but suffice it to say the level of fluidity and cinematography is astonishing. Again, episode 3 is an amazing showcase in itself.

To say nothing of how expressive everyone is in the show.

Also this is a weird one, but I think with the exception to episodes 5 & 7, each episode has Ramona going through a bleaching and dye routine. It is bizarrely satisfying to watch, like the tea making in Samurai Jack.

Final Thoughts.

Takes Off was both a confusing shock and a pleasant surprise upon first viewing. It's impressive in its existence, and has moments that I fucking love. Like the Shonen it emulates, it does also come off as a tad superfluous or melodramatic in many respects. But it is fun to bust out old toys and play with them again. The fact that in 2023 I'm seeing a new work related to Scott Pilgrim is fucking incredible. I'm happy that this exists, I'm happy to hear the cast together again, and happy to hear some great music tracks. And I do love the characters of Scott Pilgrim, I love the performances in this show, I love numerous parts of this show. But, I also think it's fair to say what I love most aren't these characters. And that's okay. Those characters should remain in the series that ended in 2010, while these are easily malleable versions for an animated series to have fun with. Maybe you could never capture or replicate the exact magic of the books again, so it's better to just do your own thing. Takes Off was, in the end, a fun time that I think works best when you know what you're getting into. Once you're armed with that knowledge, I think you'll find a show much easier to appreciate.

All that said, as backhanded as this is going to seem, I still think the nicest thing that Takes Off did was get me to re-read the book series for this review. I got to re-examine a profound series from the perspective of a 31 year old, but still find all that I originally loved as a 17 year old. When it comes to adaptive works, no matter what, the nice thing is you'll always have the originals to go back to. You change, maybe your tastes change, and certain things hit differently or don't hold up when you go back. But it's nice to revisit. I think nostalgia can be a poison. Too many people get caught up in wanting to relive the exact moment, to be trapped. But I think it's more fun to see something you love still remain a love even after so much time has passed. I'm happy with how I felt as a teenager reading a story about emotional growth. Some personally, some apart, and others closer. In my 30s, I still appreciate that, and it still affects me and resonates. But just because I cherish that above all else doesn't mean I wouldn't be interested in more Scott Pilgrim. And if O'Malley and Grabinski wanna make more people sing 80s anime songs badly, I'll be on board for that alone.

Or Roxie flirting with every woman. Seriously, she's so much fun.

As always, thanks for reading. Reblogs are appreciated and you can find me elsewhere on the worldwideweb at: Bsky Ko-Fi

So does Gideon still have his exes frozen somewhere, or is that another difference?

Oh, and now that we have a Netflix Series, can we get a Nendoroid Ramona? There's been like no high end merch since Mondo in 2017.

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim takes off #netflix #bryan lee o'malley #edgar wright #bendavid grabinski #science saru #anime #animated

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whoslaurapalmer · 2 years ago

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shadow and bone s2, ep 6-7

in which lulu goes off just a little because boyyyyyyy howdy y'all really fucked something up. you had to WORK to fuck this specific thing up. like, consciously. that was a CHOICE to make here and it was a BAD ONE. if they clear it up in ep8 then my sincerest apologies but like. i don't think it's likely

-if i knew star wars at all i would try and make a darth vader joke about the hand but the joke ain't coming. my apologies

-i think baghra's death was alright, idk. it was fine. her giving the backstory was more satisfying honestly

-good for ohval, vibing

-destroying the first army at keramzin did not at all have the punch of killing ana kuya. and there's such a focus on the orphanage but it's like. never really. REALLY talked out

-alina going 'i was blinded by power' WERE YOU????? BECAUSE THERE WAS VERY LITTLE IF ANY ACTUAL EMPHASIS ON THAT IN HERE.

-matthias and pekka rollins talking in hellgate is. shit. it's terrible. it's. i hate it fuck you wow -matthias has NO connection to him. and by creating it, and by putting pekka in a spot where he can still be a problem, after you've ALREADY USED kaz's maximum killing blow, is just. like. absolutely disgusting -that was supposed to be the END of pekka. by KAZ, AND KAZ ALONE, BECAUSE OF WHAT IT MEANS FOR KAZ. -but putting pekka in prison -- putting him in a place here he can recover his power -- putting him in front of matthias as a threat but also a possibility -- it's. i hate it. it makes no sense. it doesn't need to be here. it cuts an enormous hole into everything you already did, everything in the books not yet covered, into KAZ -they're not clearing this up in another episode. they're gonna have to deal with it. i am going to scream. i'm going to kill a man. who thought this was okay. THIS IS NOT OKAY -GODDDDDD I'M SO ANGRY -THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR KILLING HELEEN!!!!!!! YOU JUST FUCKED UP A WHOLE SERIES OF PLOT THREADS BY GODDDDDDDDDD -THAT'S THE WHOLE REASON PEKKA IS IN HELLGATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -i'm just. how can you fuck up this badly. you just. ruined so fucking much. i'm. flabbergasted at the audacity of it all -just!!!!! THERE'S NO COMING BACK FROM THIS. FROM ALREADY HAVING USED THE ENDING OF CROOKED KINGDOM BUT STILL KEEPING PEKKA AROUND. -WHAT THE ACTUAL LITERAL FUCK. -and like. without heleen, how do they get into the ice court? will that even still happen???? how can inej get any revenge on heleen in any way if HELEEN IS DEAD??????????? -heleen lives because people like that live and get away with it. because they can't just be taken care of so easily. because, like inej says to pekka at the end of crooked kingdom, DEATH IS A GIFT YOU HAVEN'T YET EARNED. inej gets to steal her diamond, the representation of lives likes hers that were stolen and sold and ruined, and heleen might lose the menagerie at the end of crooked kingdom, and inej gets to try and protect other girls from the same fate. it's not enough at all but it's something. and pekka is mentally destroyed by what kaz does. it's not enough but it's something. those things mattered. -but they don't matter at ALL here. not in any single way

-david going 'sooooooo what body part do you wanna lose' and picking up a bone saw. david :) -david :( -i think............i like his death better here, actually. i hated his death in rule of wolves bc he's the only main cast casualty and yes horrors of war and sudden death but it was just so. irritating. it's senseless. it's the point that it's senseless, but it's senseless in a way in the book that was just like, fucking for real???????? david, of all people????? and he's the ONLY ONE WHO DIES?????????????????? -here, protecting genya, it makes more sense, i think, and i'm actually not as mad about them killing him now as i thought i would be knowing the spoiler, honestly. i was going around the last two days before watching ep7 absolutely INCENSED about them killing him NOW instead of so much later but watching it. i'm kind of okay with it. -it's still kind of eh though a little bc where on earth does this fucking dumbwaiter just come from. does it make SENSE to lose david here. what does it do to genya's character now, to have it happen now -but i think the spirit of it. is perhaps better than in the books, which is what i'm getting at, idk

-speaking of horrors of war, yeah i figured nikolai's friend was gonna die

-JESPER!!!! USING HIS BUTTONS!!!!!! AS BULLETS!!!!!!!!! GODDAMN -INSPIRED -A TAKE -I LOVED IT -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA -it was his buttons, right. unless he had like darts or something. well buttons was what it looked like to me and i'm standing by that

-goodbye fruszi you terrible little emo girl. her getting her fingers cut off was GREAT, GODDAMN

-the crows swooping in to save the day AGAIN is honestly. the funniest fucking thing. it just is. it's so good. it's so funny. kaz actually gets to show his sense of humor. it makes NO SENSE for them to just COME IN and yet HERE THEY ARE and it's genuinely. great, somehow -they get the sword for alina and she just goes 'nope! inej you use it. :)' like. oh my god.

-mal: i'm hit -me: ??????? WHEN THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN????? JESUS CHRIST FINE

#shadow and bone spoilers #lulu talks about shadow and bone

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zeero1060 · 4 months ago

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My Descendants 4 thoughts (spoilers ofc)

Okay so the fact that they could only get Uma and Fairy Godmother back because of Cameron... At least they paid homage to him?

First off, I know she *is* a tyrant, but Fairy Godmother made is sound like Bridget was only a tyrant because she refused to join the USA (United States of Auradon) which like- no? Though to be fair the only thing they show about her actually being a bad ruler is her having a curfew and *almost* executing someone.

Immediately the songs are worse than the origional Trilogy. The music itself is okay but the lyrics are terrible. Credit where it's due the choreo all has the same vibe.

"She's painting our whole world red!" - There's an insane amount of red in Wonderland anyway, and she threw one (1) paintball.

Costuming wise, I like Maddox (even tho he's in two scenes), and Red's first outfit is good, but for the rest of the movie she looks way too one toned. Same with Chloe too, why are both of her parents costumed better than her?? I know it's supposed to be that the young people are "cool" but that's not what Chloe's outfit it giving. I feel like the origionals did a better job at costuming as a whole. Also the colours were way less vibrant, this whole movie is an eyesore.

So like, I know people talk about this a lot, but is the implication here that Chad is adopted, or Charming had two kids with two different women (both named Cinderella and with the same story)? Or is he supposed to be their biological child?

Bridget is English? Right?? So why is she American when she's young???

They're doing this thing that was more present in the 4th movie where they talk through the songs.

Where has "love ain't it" come from?? I thought it would be something Bridget heard from someone in the past but it only ever comes up at the start of the movie so like idk.

Uma loml- "What's My Name" being the actual best song in this whole movie isn't a shock but it does piss me off tbh, like that's a reprise (and slightly worse and shorter version) of a song from two movies ago, and actually I think says something about the quality of this movie.

It feels like it's implied in the beginning of the movie that Ella did the prank? But then she is just completely uninvolved. Like I went through the first time fully believing there was gonna be this big betrayal and then nothing even happened at all.

-This is gay

-Every time Chloe mentions the code of conduct I get secondhand embarrassment

-Fucking love young Ella

-(Second) Best song is whatever Bridget's is called it's so cute

-Why is Morgana's son here? Why is he the only vk who has a villain for a parent?

-Why has Hook got a different accent to Harry?

-ALSO is that the Crow from dead boy detectives?

-Regardless I do like their part of the song the most I think

-They're making out like Bridget has no friends but the only people who are mean to her are the vks shut uppp

-Gay again

-You're telling me Chloe doesn't know the story of Cinderella? That's crazy no way

-I like that Ella's class is actually a part of her character, that it impacts her world view, actions, and morals, it's not something that was just ignored like I'd initially expected

-Gotta say the vks are all well cast

-Every single one of the vks are more evil than Ursula's sister why is there she the main one?

-Ella undercutting fairytale morality with logic and reason? I love her

-Scene where a suit of armour comes to life? Knight Fall

-Why are Red and Chloe opening the book anyway? And if it wouldn't have let the vks open it why are these two even there? How did they do it in the origional timeline to begin with?

-They wanna do another one of these? Please don't peace and love 🫶

Anyways Ella and Bridget carried thank you.

#I am so sorry for this absolute braindump #Gonna go watch the origionals again now

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wearevillaneve · 3 years ago

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Is This the Rise of Dark Eve and the Descent of Villanelle?

Comic book fans slow down, speed up, zoom in and pick apart an upcoming Marvel or DC trailer for every minute detail. too fans do that too, but they take their detective duties further. They study episode titles and short descriptions to extract every bit of subtle nuance and scour it for any possible clue as to what may happen to Eve and Villanelle. IF the recent "leaked" episode descriptions are correct, Season Four will put Eve front and center as the initiator of the action and Villanelle will be stepping back a bit into a reactive mode. This would be the exact opposite of how Season Three played out.

The fandom reacts.

I give the Villanelle the Redeemed story arc a short lifespan. Two, maybe three tops, and then it's done. It's easier to say you want to be forgiven your sins than to wash them away. Her time in the church will end in blood and fire. Villanelle can TRY to reform, but it's not gonna take. Tigers and stripes, ya know?

If true though, it looks like Season Four is going to be an Evetravaganza, and since the name of the show is Killing EVE, I ain't mad about it. It means I can finally retire the "Where is Eve?" memes.

Eve was done dirty in Season Three and if the scales get balanced a bit in the final season, I have no problem with it. I'm here for the Sandra Oh Supremacy.

Don't overly stress out over some titles and brief descriptions. At the time of this writing, the BBC and AMC sites have yet to be updated with this information. The same goes for the KE IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes pages. Hell, even Wikipedia doesn't have it completely yet, so it could all be wrong. But if it's right, how did this reversal of focus come to be?

Did Sandra Oh walk into Sally Woodward Gentle's office and say, "I'm not trying to start any drama, but Eve didn't have all that much to do in Season 3. Let's not have that happen again, okay?" Maybe. Not likely. That would have some serious diva vibes and Sandra doesn't seem to be that kind of actor. But she can read a call sheet or a script and know instantly that she's not the focus of the show. While it wouldn't surprise me if such a conversation did take place, we'll never know if it did until Sally, Sandra or Jodie writes a tell-all biography about their Killing Eve experience.

One thing looks to be fairly certain; there will not be multiple episodes where Eve and Villanelle go without even mentioning each other. That's a prospect which should make any Villaneve stan happy. What won’t make Villanelle stans happy is the situation it seems our favorite fashionista, kind-of-a-big-deal-in-this-business finds herself. She looks to be stuck in a religious rut to start the season and joining the walking wounded for a good part of the rest of it. As previously stated, Villanelle doesn't need redemption, shouldn't seek redemption, and truthfully, she doesn't DESERVE redemption.

I want the Villanelle who stabs a man in the eye and looks ecstatic as he dies. I want the Villanelle who poisons perfume bottles, clamps balls, strangles dudes with their knock-off designer ties, and snaps the necks of depressed teenage boys. Remember her?

God, I miss that Villanelle. I bet Eve does too now that she's feeling frisky, feral and, happily choosing violence.

We're obviously going to start off with a weakened and diminished Villanelle and probably one who won't get back on her game until later in the season. Hopefully, not TOO late because I had enough of weak, whiny, wimpy Villanelle in Season 3. Killing Eve has to bring back the Bad-Ass Villanelle. Give our lethal lady back what belongs to her. Give her back her swagger.

#killing eve #ke s4 #ke spoilers #eve x villanelle #villaneve #is this the future?#villanelle kills #dark eve rising #ke analysis

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blackrosesfanfic · 4 years ago

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Chapter 235

Gwen

"The boys are sleep for tonight?" Lonnie asks. "Pea?"

"I'm just so angry right now." I blurt out.

Lonnie blows. "What happened? I don't know why you won't let me come. They all hate you but you want to be there alone."

I'm not going to tell him that I wanted to confront Cammie about whether or not he ever tried to touch her. That was obviously my mind trying to make sense of everything. The only thing I could think that would be my fault. But apparently not.

"She is mad at me because I wasn't there for her, Lonnie." I yell.

"Who, Cammie? When were you not there? All that money we paid for her education?"

I suck my teeth. "If you gonna be a dick and talk about money, let me know now."

He sighs. "I'm not. You have always been there for her. Too much, if you ask me."

"Exactly but she isn't asking us Lonnie."

"So I don't know."

I growl. "I don't know either. Lonnie, I'm just so upset with her."

"Want me to come get you?"

"No." I spat.

He sighs again. "Are you going to tell me what happened? So I can be upset too."

"We need a lawyer."

"A lawyer? What will a lawyer do? Family court lawyer? Criminal?"

I exhale. "She... Lonnie!"

"Pea? I don't know what to say to you. You hate when I don't say nothing." It sounds like he stands up. "Okay, I turned the TV off. I'm in the office with my address book. I'm listening."

"She withdrew from me and I didn't even push her to open up. Kendra told me that she was going through something hard but she would have to open up on her own. I've been stressing about this for 6 years or more. I'm so stupid."

Lonnie stays quiet for a few seconds. "Pea, open up about what?"

"Why do you think she stop wanting to go to college?"

"Because she broke up with that sorry butt football player." He says unsure.

I sigh. "Yeah but she was so in love with him. What did he suddenly do so bad? I was just happy that she broke up with him. I didn't care why. She mixed all this up and I'm just so angry at myself. I lost my little girl because I was so into myself and what I wanted for her. We should have just let her go to that dance school."

"In California!" Lonnie spats. "No. Who knows what could have happened to her?"

"But something did happen to her, Lonnie!"

"Huh?"

I jump on a tall half fallen sand castle and slide down on my ass. "Something did happen to her and she didn't even feel comfortable enough to tell me."

I just cry ignoring him and what he was saying. I just feel like shit and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to even forgive myself enough to face my daughter. I don't even know if she wants me to be there for her. I don't know my daughter anymore. It hurts so deep.

"What the hell?" Someone says.

I try to get myself together enough to get up. I'm helped up to my feet. I wipe my eyes then look up at Chris. Seems like he towers over my short self.

"Mama Cammie." He says dusting my dress off. "I'm sure sand and elegance don't go together."

"Gwen?"

I sigh. "I'm here. Thank you, Christopher."

He shrugs. "Do I just ignore you in the sand castle or ask questions?"

"I'm fine, Christopher."

"Okay, so Imma walk away. I'm walking this way so Imma come back by. Stay off the roof of the sand castle."

I narrow my eyes at him. "I said I'm fine."

"Okay." He says walking away like he didn't know me.

"Who was that?"

I blow. "Christopher. I don't know what I watch on TV but these people are nothing like TV. I don't know what I'm pouting about."

"I'm just going to come." He barks. "What happened to Jayla, Gwen?"

"She was drugged, Lonnie. She was drugged and raped. That's why she broken up with him. That's why she... oh my goodness. She was probably having panic attacks and we just forced her out the car to deal with it alone."

"Gwen, you said what!" Lonnie yells. "I'll call you back when I'm headed to the airport."

"Lonnie, I can deal with this myself." I spat.

He sucks his teeth. "I just supposed to do what? Sit here? And do nothing? Who is this guy? The football boyfriend's name was what?"

I sigh. "Lonnie, I'm capable of taking care of myself."

"An hour is enough time to pack. Where is my luggage?"

"Lonnie?"

"I'm flying to California. Family emergency." Lonnie says.

"Lonnie?"

He was not playing attention to me at all.

Alex

"Daddy?" Lexi says.

"Yeah baby." He asks turning around at the door.

She peeks in the room. "Who room is this? Oh Alex. Hi."

"Hi, Beautiful."

"Daddy did you know that Chris Brown was at this house?"

"Yes." He nods.

She puts her hands on her hips. "Daddy, did you know Sevyn Streeter was at this house?"

"Yes."

"Well how you get to this house? You know Chris Brown from TV? How?"

He guides her out of the room. "I know Chris Brown because he knows Trey Songz and Trey Songz is married to Alex's cousin Cammie."

"I know Chris Brown?" She spins back into the room.

"Go play the princess game. I told you I will be back to talk to you after I talk to Alex."

She giggles then I could hear her walking away loudly. "I'm going to ask Chris Brown to play princesses cause I know him."

I laugh. "Did you hear her?"

"No. What did she say?"

"She's going to ask Chris Brown to play with her."

He sighs. "I'm sure he will just ignore her."

I shrug. "Shit face might not ignore her."

"Aye, what's up with you? Why you fucking with Chris knowing he ain't shit with his temper? He doing all this shit and we on his dollar."

"You right."

He frowns. "Huh?"

I stand up. "I'm leaving."

"You are extreme. You not going to open up are you?" He says pushing me back down.

"Open up, Jamaal? You all in my business already. What don't you know about me?"

"How you feel." He nods.

I shrug. "I feel nothing."

He sits down near me. "Talking about feelings don't make you weak."

"I never said it did."

"I can tell something wrong with you. Something been off for a minute now." He says then touch my side. "You need some love? Some loving I should say. Cause you hateful as shit and don't need love. Some dick?"

I chuckle a bit. "Not from you."

"You take care of your mother and your father but who takes care of you? I'm curious. Who raised you?"

"Jamaal really? Get out my face."

He doesn't. He touches my thigh then roughly slides his hand down to my calf. He lifts my leg forcing me to lay back. He massages my calf then brings his hand back up my leg. Okay maybe like... I suck my teeth. This one time I could use some of whatever he got. He takes his hand to my pussy. I don't say anything or even move. He brings himself between my legs.

"No imported furniture or expensive duvets?"

"Don't talk to me."

He chuckles. "Okay, Boss Lady."

When he pulls my shorts down my anxiety kicks in. He didn't have a condom but what does it fucking matter when I'm already pregnant. Fuck I'm pregnant. This shit doesn't even happen in real life. I don't even want to calculate shit. I don't want to know when cause I could easily calculate wrong and be that woman. The one who tells one person they are the father but really doesn't know. For the convenience she never finds out. Jamaal kiss near my ear.

"Relax." He says gently kissing me.

It's not even that simple. He lifts my shirt up to my chest. I sit up a bit for him to take it off. I had on a bikini top that clipped in the front. He takes it off with no hassle like he had already been studying it. Maybe my reality is that I'm just going to have to do this alone. Make like it's not real until I'm unable to hide it.

"I'm getting all types of different vibes from you. Don't know if you wanna be loved on or fucked like a naughty hooker."

I chuckle. He raises his eyebrows then he grabs my hips. He enters me roughly. It sends all sorts of good waves up my spine. I touch his lower stomach so he wouldn't do it again. A motherfucker ain't ready for that while people around. My people here. I can't do that.

"This house too crowded for that."

"Yeah." He chuckles then leans toward.

He couldn't fucking help it. Shit. Maybe it's me that can't handle his dick. Fuck. I mean it brought back memories of the last time we fucked. How good his stroke is. Like... Jamaal is fucking annoying. All my anxiety was gone as he grabs my thigh forcing it high and his dick deeper. I bite my bottom lip trying not to curse loudly but damn it was coming from deep within. I shake my head. Jamaal grabs my face holding it still. He kisses my lips. I keep my lip tucked in as he drives deeper against everything in my fucking chest. He bites my top lip. I go to react but he uses that split second to kiss me. Niggas be trying their best to break you down and some can do it better than others. Jamaal was the wrong person to fuck with. He in my head.

"Fuck!" I say turning my head from his kiss as the orgasm intensifies.

"So you remember to hate me." He says kissing my face not caring where.

I really didn't care to ask what in the hell he talking about. He so fucking cocky. Annoying ass. I cum once again as he press his pelvis against me. Felt like our fucking bones were grinding together. Hope he doesn't think that shit will make me hate anything. He pulls his dick out of me really quick. It was so fast I had to look around to see who walked in. The fuck he doing? The door was shut. I cut my eyes at him. This nigga puts his fucking nut on me. Not just that simple. This motherfucker had nut all on my chest like I had butchered some fucking body. I sigh as my pussy throbbing and leg cramp brings me back to my orgasm.

"I've had worst shit done to me." I say nonchalantly.

"What the fuck?" He snaps.

I'm still the queen of comebacks bitch. I smirk at him. Gotta come stronger than that. Cum on my chest pisses me off yes but I'm not letting arrogance fuck up my nut. I always do shit to him that he ain't ready for. He was just staring at me. Who even fucking cums that much? I look down at my chest. It was all over my stomach.

"Maybe try my face next time."

"Put it in your fucking throat."

Jamaal you really wanna go there? I give him a look. He stares back at me with his arrogant ass. Soft ass. I'm that bitch. Somewhere deep inside I feel like I needed this. Battle of the sexes. I sit up a bit and grab my tittie then lick his cum off. I smirk then reach for him.

"Want me to fuck you now?" I ask.

He didn't know what to do. I laugh then kick him away from me. Fucking bitch. He grabs me as I'm trying to get up. I fight with him. He grabs the back of my neck with his thumb resting on my ear. The shit was paralyzing. He turns my head to him and kisses me. I shake my head. Well in my mind I was shaking my head at myself.

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years ago

Text

Amelia & Jac

Amelia: [okay so I'll put here what we said, for Jac's 18th Savannah sent her some flowers and Amelia binned them, obviously a big fight ensued and they haven't interacted from then in September to now which is nearly Christmas until Amelia sends her a christmas gift of the gay book with a portrait of Jac inside that'll just fall out when she picks it up and a chanel lipstick of some cute shade or other] Jac: [my vibe was if it was left on the step, leaving the book out there and taking the lipstick to send a message 'cos assumedly we'll walk past at some point as we live central] Amelia: [love that] Jac: If you were gonna take it upon yourself to decide I didn't want Savannah's gift, you should have also realised the same rule would apply to yourself Amelia: maybe Jac: No, you should have Jac: you wasted your money and time Amelia: I've got nothing else to do with either, so it hardly matters Jac: I'm not your distraction Jac: leave me alone Amelia: no, you're way more than that Amelia: but okay Jac: I don't have the energy for this Amelia: I didn't do this to force a conversation with you Jac: right Amelia: you're right, I shouldn't have got you anything Jac: you really shouldn't Jac: I don't want anything from you Amelia: alright, message received Jac: for fuck's sake Amelia: What do you want me to say? Amelia: it's been months, I miss you, I hate this Jac: You're about a lifetime too late for any of this Jac: things change Amelia: just go then Jac: Don't tell me what to do Jac: you haven't even apologized Amelia: because you're the only one who can tell me what I should or shouldn't do, okay then Jac: I declined your gift because I don't fucking want it Jac: that's my decision Jac: you can't force it on me Amelia: like it was my decision to get you one, even if you don't fucking want it Amelia: like it's my decision not to apologise when I'm not sorry Jac: it wasn't your decision to make Amelia: I know that Jac: She reached out to me Jac: and you ruined it Amelia: she didn't reach out, it was a cop out Jac: she remembered Jac: she didn't have to do anything Amelia: she didn't do anything Amelia: not even sign her name Amelia: fuck's sake, and you're mad at ME for my lack of apology Jac: Yes she did, she sent my favourite flowers Jac: and yes I'm fucking mad at you, you don't even know what you started Amelia: at least hold her to the same standard Jac: No, because you aren't the same Jac: and this gift meant something to me, the gesture did Jac: and you couldn't stand that so you took it away Amelia: the false hope meant something to you Amelia: of course I can't stand that Jac: there's nothing false about it Jac: she was never here for my birthday before, not as my friend, she had no reason to remember, I'm blocked on anything that would tell her Amelia: because it's so hard to get around being blocked Jac: so, that would just prove she cared enough to look Jac: either way, that meant something Amelia: it doesn't mean she's coming back Amelia: or dumping her boyfriend Jac: it still means more to me than anything you could ever give or do Jac: so you deal with that Amelia: I can't Jac: You'll find my sympathy running a bit low Amelia: that's how I always find it Jac: I don't have the space in my head or my life to care about you Jac: alright, and I've never said different Amelia: yeah you have Jac: when? Jac: a million years ago when we were kids Jac: life's moved on from then Amelia: this year, things have happened that mean something, you've made space for me and cared about me Amelia: I don't need words, you lie whenever you speak anyway Amelia: and yeah, that's how long it's been, that's she's been gone and I've been here for you Amelia: you can't deal with that any better than you're telling me I have to Jac: I've only cared about myself Jac: that's facts Jac: you've been of some use and that's about as deep as it gets Jac: ask anyone, Amelia Amelia: No Jac: Yes Amelia: you love to make me look and feel crazy but I'm actually not Jac: because normal people throw other people's presents away Amelia: you know why I did Jac: and normal people let themselves be treated like this Jac: yeah, you're so right Amelia: there's a massive gap between normal and the levels of delusional you're trying to make me out to be right now Jac: I'm not trying to make you out to be anything Jac: I'm trying to get you to leave me alone, at best Amelia: and I've said I will Jac: then go Amelia: [does] Amelia: [gonna take this moment to tell you what the book is, We Are Okay by Nina LaCour it's obvs gay and YA again but we've lost the optimism of the previous Christmas because this one is about grief and loss and loneliness, basically this girl leaves her life behind without saying a word (again to go to college lol) after her grandad dies but then her friend who she's in love with and who I think is straight comes to visit her there so she gotta start dealing with all her shit, very apt Amelia well done. I think it does have a happy ending for said main character based on the title but not a fluffy one and she isn't getting with that friend I'm p sure] Amelia: [In clearer terms, this is a book about Marin, a girl who has lost her grandfather, and in doing so, pushed away her former best friend, Mabel. So when Mabel comes to town, Marin does not know what to do with the memories. Marin at once does not want Mabel here, regrets her being here, but also desperately wants Mabel to love her. She has walls up and she wants them down, but she is too terrified for them to ever come down. Marin has lost everything, including Mabel, her best friend and her maybe-something-more. But it’s not a romance between Marin and Mabel. That is what is perhaps the saddest part. I once saw Nina LaCour talk live about this book, and she said something that perfectly sums up what is so arresting about this book: being queer and in love with your best friend is different than being straight and in love with your best friend. One is an experience in first love, and one is also that, but with an added experience of fear – not of rejection but of disgust. We do not want to hurt our best friends by loving them. We have learned to be ashamed of love and we carry that with us, through thick and through thin. BYE] Jac: [well, v on the nose, soz we won't be reading that hun and we didn't read the last one, so rude] Amelia: [maybe years from now bitch you will and you'll see what we were trying to give you] Jac: [perhaps but clearly not this one as it has essentially washed away lmao] Amelia: [something v poetic about a book about grief and loss and loneliness getting left on the step to disintegrate, when this is a film or netflix show I'll be v smug] Jac: [truly, the drama of it all] Jac: [setting it on fire is so last year, anyway, my thought is Amelia sees Jac and Jesse out somewhere but not out out like somewhere boring and every day which is confusing as it was to the fam 'cos she knows she's not talking or hanging out with them so she's like hmm] Amelia: [good idea but I don't know how I'm gonna be like oi what are you doing when it's none of your business hen LOL] Jac: [Jesse could talk to her 'cos we've established doesn't take a hint and it's like the most awkward] Amelia: [yeah because they are gonna be lowkey friends off and on even though she said they weren't after the vday thing last year so and maybe she asks about his gig he's meant to be doing or whatever cos he would've had to announce he ain't doing it on socials and everything like] Jac: [Jac just casually snapping at her like mind yo business Amelia] Amelia: [I'll pick the convo up after that fun little interaction then] Jac: [when you shoulda said nothing but it came out henny] Amelia: Don't talk to me like that Jac: Don't talk to my brother how's that Amelia: redundant Amelia: because I'll talk to him whenever I like as long as he's not the one upset about it Jac: Yeah, you've established you're a liar before now Amelia: No, we've established I have nothing to gain by keeping any promises to you Jac: and I give a fuck about what you wanna take from me Jac: you need to disappear, I don't want you in my life now, not even peripherally Amelia: I don't wanna take anything from you and I'm not Amelia: but disappearing isn't an option for a bit Jac: Contradict yourself immediately, it's really not a waste of my time Amelia: You're wasting your own time by continuing to have a go at me Amelia: when school's over we'll both be leaving, until then we're both stuck Jac: It wouldn't be a waste of time if you actually listened Amelia: likewise Jac: to what? Amelia: me obviously Jac: you have nothing I've ever wanted to hear Jac: and you're continuing to talk more bullshit now Jac: literally, mind your own business, it should not be hard Amelia: neither should getting your head around the concept that me talking to Jess isn't about you Jac: he isn't your friend Jac: he's my brother, I trump any kind of connection you had or wanna have for whatever sad reason Jac: so yeah, fuck off Amelia: if you want to make him choose, give him your bullshit ultimatum, I won't be Jac: No, you leave us alone Jac: it's like having a fucking stalker Jac: I am sick of the sight of you Amelia: I have left you alone like you asked Amelia: he's asked me to do no such thing Jac: You're pathetic Jac: get some friends of your own and you wouldn't have to cling on to someone being civil towards you Amelia: I've heard it all before Jac: then take the hint Jac: I'm so fed up of you and your moping Amelia: then take the 'advice' you're trying to give me and fuck off Jac: you see me coming, you should turn the other way Jac: I did not need to see you today, fuck's sake Amelia: yeah, I'll turn my desk around too, get back into detention, it has been a while Amelia: I wasn't looking for you, I don't want to see you either Jac: then it's in your best interest to run when you see Jesse coming then Jac: so glad you reached the logical conclusion, try to do it at the time next time, tah Amelia: bye then Jac: you're unbelievable Jac: you don't even feel remotely bad for what you've done Amelia: of course I fucking do Jac: bullshit Amelia: No it's not Amelia: but I'm not going to sit here and type out how and why I feel like shit when it means nothing Jac: you aren't sorry, you said, and you've not made any kind of attempt to actually make amends, not that you can now, it's too late Jac: it's all about how you feel and that you miss me and whatever else Jac: you don't care what I've been through Amelia: I'm not sorry for 🗑💐 but I'm sorry for hurting you Amelia: and that this means I'm not there now for whatever is happening Amelia: like you said, it's too late now Amelia: and like you also said, even if I was there, it's not good enough anyway so Jac: because this isn't some soppy book you read Jac: you aren't gonna save me and it'll all be happily ever afters Jac: this is real life and it's so much bigger than all this Jac: shit that you care about Amelia: yeah, it's my real life too Jac: none of this is real Jac: you're putting off getting one by kidding yourself that this will ever happen Amelia: it is to me Jac: just wait Jac: you'll find out soon enough Jac: this is nothing, all of it Amelia: maybe to you Jac: no fucking maybe Jac: you're a child, your problems are childish Jac: that's factual and I can't pretend to entertain it now Amelia: then don't Amelia: my problems aren't the same as yours because I'm not you any more than I could be Savannah fucking Moore, but guess what, it's not a competition Jac: they're non-existent Amelia: No, they exist, same as I do Amelia: but you don't have to bother about them or me Jac: Get over yourself, Amelia Jac: people have real shit going on, real stuff to deal with Jac: and you want anyone to care about your self-inflicted, whiney, entitled bullshit Jac: for what? 'cos you're an AMAZING friend, yeah, you don't use everything to your advantage or make it all about you Amelia: not really, I want you get away from me like you keep saying you want Jac: I didn't send you a present, loser Amelia: I didn't start a conversation about it Amelia: or keep this one going Jac: because you should feel fucking bad about what you did and you don't Jac: not even an eighth of what I do Amelia: I do feel bad, what do you want me to do to prove it, kill myself? For fuck's sake Jac: yeah good idea Amelia: nothing is good enough for you Amelia: you'd even twist that into something it isn't Jac: fucking try it Jac: I don't want you around Amelia: okay Jac: my life is ruined Jac: you don't get to be okay, you don't get to care about your pathetic crush Amelia: you don't get to tell me what to do or how to feel because your life is ruined Jac: Yes I do Amelia: No you don't Jac: really 'cos you've been pretty easy to manipulate this far Jac: don't act as if you've had say in anything Jac: that's about the only use you have had Amelia: well it's over, all of it Jac: call it like it hasn't been for months on my say so Jac: what is the point of you being alive, actually Amelia: I don't know Amelia: my parents, I guess Jac: good luck with getting that to last then Amelia: 🤞🍀🌠 Jac: give you 'til your late 20s before that stops being enough Amelia: it already isn't Jac: like I said, find some real trauma like the rest of us Jac: gives you something to cling to Amelia: or more to collapse under the weight of Jac: you don't even want to survive Amelia: and what? Jac: and that's the fundamental reason Savannah is better than you Jac: and I am too Jac: all I have is the shit behind me to drive me forwards Jac: and your ideal is to wallow in it Amelia: you've got a million reasons why, I don't care how they're numbered, to be honest Jac: you deserve the nothing you're left with and the nothingness that's coming Amelia: that's worked out perfectly then Jac: I swear to God you're lucky he was there Jac: any other day Amelia: yeah Amelia: you know what lessons to find me in Jac: I'm taking time off Jac: so you can have them Amelia: I really am lucky Amelia: maybe it'll make me care about 20 years in the future, like you do, or 5 or 1 Amelia: drive me forwards too Jac: unlikely Amelia: right now it is Amelia: I'm just trying to get through this conversation Jac: Jesus Amelia: my 🤔💭 exactly Jac: you clueless bitch Amelia: what am I supposed to be clued into? Amelia: we haven't spoken for ages Jac: and that's hardly a mystery Amelia: slag me off as much as you like, I don't know what's going on Jac: didn't inherit that off your mum then Amelia: clearly not Jac: yeah well when she finds out somehow you can hear all about it Amelia: finds out what? Jac: now you're gonna ask how I am Amelia: if you were in the hospital again or something that's more important than any of this bullshit Amelia: please just tell me Jac: no, because you did a grand gesture I didn't ask for so now I'm really all good Amelia: a Christmas present isn't a grand gesture Amelia: or what matters Jac: yeah, no shit it isn't Amelia: can you just Jac: what, tell you what's wrong with me? Jac: will that make you feel better Amelia: No Jac: yeah, that makes it almost seem worth it Amelia: forget it Amelia: I'll find out when everyone else does or I won't Jac: yeah Jac: your fake concern for 2 seconds was really comforting Amelia: nothing about this is fake for me Amelia: I don't know how many more times or ways I can make that fucking obvious Jac: you're all talk Jac: I expect nothing more or less from you at this point Amelia: because talking is all I can do Amelia: you won't take a 🎁 I'm not risking an actual gesture Jac: yeah, I heard Jac: nothing in it for you Amelia: okay, tell me I'm wrong Amelia: tell me there is Jac: no Amelia: say something Amelia: give me literally anything Jac: how many times can you be told it's not about you before you get it Jac: it's not about caring because I throw you false hope Jac: we were friends, once Amelia: which is exactly why I want you to tell me what it's really about Amelia: I care about you, I fucking love you Amelia: and something bad has happened Jac: depends on your point of view Amelia: put all of this bullshit between us aside and talk to me Amelia: you said it, we were friends Jac: I don't know if I actually want to hurt you this bad Jac: call me stupid Amelia: it's not about me, remember? Jac: still Jac: it's Amelia: you aren't going to talk to anyone else Jac: Jesse knows Jac: and my parents Amelia: that doesn't mean they know how you feel, just what's happened Jac: you won't be able to know either Jac: it isn't gay Amelia: this can still be one of those times where you say things to me that you don't to anyone else, if you want Amelia: if it'll help you Jac: Nothing will help me Jac: but I don't care Jac: I've got a baby Amelia: what? Jac: a dead one now Amelia: oh Jac: yep Amelia: when? Jac: it's why Jesse cancelled his gig Amelia: of course Amelia: that makes sense Jac: so now you know Amelia: yeah Jac: so yeah, there's nothing to be said or done and that's seriously it Amelia: okay, well I'm here if that ever changes Amelia: my mum's never gotten over it but I know talking helped her Jac: talking isn't going to assuage the guilt of creating and destroying life Jac: maybe I'll go pray but I doubt that does either Amelia: I don't know Amelia: there must be a reason therapy is so popular, you're the wannabe psychologist Jac: hope Jac: I'm not interested Amelia: alright, no talking Amelia: do you want to go out? Jac: and bleed over the four pairs of tights I'd have to wear to stop it running straight down my legs? Amelia: a no would be a perfectly acceptable answer Jac: yeah, it's perfectly acceptable to bother a therapist about it so you never mention it to anyone else Amelia: you're not going to mention it anyway, you've said as much Jac: that has nothing to do with your sensibilities Jac: if I wanted to, I could go into horrific detail Amelia: yeah, you could Amelia: you could also bleed all over my car if you wanted to Jac: Yeah right Jac: your entire street is curtain twitchers Amelia: we won't be hanging out on my street Jac: there's nowhere I could go that'll make me forget either Amelia: you've been stuck inside for days with your family, it's hardly a grand gesture to suggest taking you literally anywhere else Amelia: but okay Jac: Jess won't let me go anyway Jac: last time I said I'd hang out with you and he believed it I fucked your girlfriend so Amelia: you kissed her Jac: oh yeah Jac: same difference Amelia: no Amelia: there's quite a big difference Jac: maybe I told him I did then Jac: I don't remember Amelia: probably Jac: the outcome was the same is the point Amelia: the point is, Jess won't let you go Amelia: I got that Jac: I had to have someone come with Amelia: yeah Jac: not about to ask the poor sod who did it Amelia: have you told him though? Jac: yeah Jac: fucking embarrassing Amelia: I assume you're less likely to accidentally run into him than you are me Jac: I think I got points for dealing with it and being cool anyway Jac: go me Amelia: great Jac: it don't matter Jac: only would have if he'd kicked up a fuss Jac: but he didn't seem the sort and that's one less thing for me to feel guilty about so fuck it Amelia: does Darla know? Jac: I told her false alarm Jac: had to ask her about him so Amelia: then why do you think everyone's going to find out? Jac: people somehow always do Jac: I don't care anymore, not now Amelia: if my mum hasn't heard, it's unlikely Amelia: she knew about your alcohol poisoning immediately Jac: beneath her to have connections with an abortion clinic Amelia: she's not god squad Jac: close enough Amelia: my aunt had one after having Olivia, there was something wrong with the baby apparently Amelia: my mum wasn't protesting outside Jac: that's different then Jac: you have a reason, people can repeat that to themselves until they forget about it Amelia: you had a reason too Amelia: everyone does Jac: no, I had an excuse Amelia: you had a reason Jac: no, I didn't Amelia: yeah, you did Amelia: and if anyone else did it for the same reason you wouldn't call it an excuse Jac: Yes I would Amelia: you hate yourself, before this, after this and because of this Amelia: stop Jac: I didn't need to get pregnant, I did and then I killed it Jac: anyone who did that, I'd think exactly the same Amelia: you didn't mean to Amelia: and if you're going to punish yourself this hard for every mistake you ever make then you're going to last even less time than you think I will Jac: You don't act like that not not mean to Jac: all I need to do is live this year then I'll be doing what I actually want Amelia: and that's enough of a reason, don't you get that Jac: enough of a reason for what Amelia: you can't just have a baby you don't want Amelia: it's not like fucking lads you don't care about Jac: no one made me do any of it Jac: so it's not a reason Jac: it's stepping away from any responsibility Amelia: you made you Amelia: and you'd be a shit mum Jac: no, that's bullshit Jac: you tell yourself what you like about it but I know what I did Amelia: tell me you enjoyed it, any of the times Jac: it's sex Jac: that's one of but not the only point Amelia: say it then Amelia: what your point is Jac: Why am I repeating myself? Jac: I know what I did Jac: you aren't going to convince me otherwise Amelia: Why are you doing it? Jac: Well I can't anymore, actually Jac: 2 weeks minimum Amelia: but why have you ever? Jac: because I want to Amelia: you want Savannah Amelia: it hasn't helped you forget that, it won't Jac: neither do you but you didn't tell me not to do that Jac: I can still want to fuck guys Jac: end of Amelia: fine, I'll say it now Jac: yeah Amelia: I can't do this any more Jac: we aren't Amelia: we've said that before, it has to be different this time Jac: whatever Jac: you expect me to make promises to you? Jac: I don't fucking care, Amelia Jac: you deal with it, it's not my problem Amelia: okay Jac: Christ sake Amelia: What? Jac: Never mind, right, off you go Amelia: I'm not going Jac: 🙄 Amelia: you don't care, I heard you before Jac: you want it to be different this time Jac: do something about it Amelia: I'm not having sex with you, that's what I'm doing differently Jac: what's the point in that Jac: doing all the other shit, there's barely any difference Amelia: because I shouldn't have ever but I can't take any of it back Jac: we don't need to be friends either Amelia: we're not Jac: then leave Jac: why half-arse it, that's my point Amelia: I can't leave Jac: just the situation Jac: you don't actually need to kill yourself Amelia: no, I can't leave you Jac: don't be daft Amelia: I'm not repeating myself either Jac: please yourself Amelia: fuck you Jac: you'll be a long time waiting for a thank you Jac: I didn't ask for this Amelia: neither did I Jac: you have a choice Amelia: yeah, and I've made it Jac: and what? Jac: what would you like me to say? Amelia: don't say anything Amelia: I'd honestly love that Jac: yeah, I bet Amelia: the back and forth between utter lies and bullshit and brutal fucking honesty is worse than just the gaslighting Jac: then go away Jac: you're doing this to you Jac: I don't want you here Amelia: you're doing it to me Jac: no, I'm not Amelia: you are Jac: I'm literally telling you to go Amelia: you're always telling me to go Amelia: it's been over a year Jac: your lack of resolve is not my fault Amelia: if you really don't want me here, do something about it Jac: No, because I'm not crying about it Jac: if you feel so gaslit, fuck off Jac: don't reply, don't engage Jac: I don't owe you anything Amelia: you're literally complaining about it Jac: because you're crying wolf Jac: I can and will do what I want, that's how it's always been Amelia: It's no different for me, I've always done what I want too Jac: no, you're being horribly manipulated and used Jac: poor little Amelia Amelia: you fucking said it as a brag earlier Amelia: how easy it is Jac: so why are you repeating it back to me, like I don't know? Jac: you're waiting for me to deny it, or apologize and say it's not true and I care SO much Jac: get real Amelia: I'm waiting for you to stop Amelia: actually do anything you say you're going to Jac: why? Jac: why are you expecting me to act like I'm fine when I'm not Jac: keep making the same wrong call and act surprised when I do what feels right Jac: for fuck's sake, Amelia Amelia: I don't know Amelia: maybe because I'm not fine either but I don't treat you like this Jac: maybe 'cos you've got no willpower Jac: maybe 'cos struggling is a competition and I'm winning Amelia: maybe Jac: 🤔💭 on that Amelia: obviously Jac: fun never stops Jac: enjoy, like Amelia: 🎢 🎠🎪 Jac: 'tis the season Amelia: Merry Christmas 🎄🎅⛄ Jac: great Amelia: yeah Jac: make you feel better that? Amelia: 1. you literally don't care 2. neither do I Jac: I'm literally still bleeding from having my baby chemically expelled and you don't get any joy out of wishing me a Merry Christmas? Jac: what is the fucking point, if you're gonna be a cunt, commit to it Amelia: there's no point to any of this, we both get that Jac: nah, it actually makes me feel better to make you feel worse Jac: that's the point Jac: I have loads of them Jac: it's you who has zero idea what the fuck she's doing Jac: as per Amelia: oh well in that case, carry on Jac: if you hadn't worked that out by now, there is no hope for you Amelia: there's no hope for me anyway, as you've said repeatedly Jac: you seem pretty resigned to this whole victim thing you've got going on Jac: it's a fair observation Amelia: I'm sure it is Jac: yep, that's right, curl up into a ball 'til it's over Jac: fuck this Amelia: until what's over? Jac: the attack, whatever you wanna call it Amelia: I don't want to call it anything, I don't want to do this Amelia: you're the one who's getting something out of it, unless that's another lie Jac: then don't Jac: why the fuck are you still here? Amelia: because I can't fucking leave when you're in the middle of an abortion Amelia: for fuck's sake Jac: the good friend points are not being counted any more Amelia: I don't care Amelia: if this is all I can do, over nothing, then so be it Jac: you're gonna let yourself be a punching bag Jac: seriously Amelia: why not? Amelia: it's not like it's the first time, or that I haven't for things that matter less Amelia: and it's too late to change any of that Jac: because I want you to stop Jac: to fight back Jac: to not do this shit anymore Amelia: I'm not fighting you right now, even if I had the strength to ever Jac: it's like Jac: you don't understand how dangerous it is Jac: what if this was someone else Jac: do you wanna end up like that, getting knocked about and taken advantage of Amelia: I don't give a fuck about the future, remember? Jac: well stop it Amelia: no Jac: stop Amelia: no Jac: fine Jac: I'll go Amelia: okay, go

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Nancy & Rio

Nancy: UM okay Nancy: You've succeeded in making me speechless so what do you wanna say Rio: Usually I'd take that as a compliment Rio: I didn't know how to say it without sounding like a total self-absorbed bitch Rio: 'cos all you went through at yours and everything but Rio: I just can't do it anymore, Nance Nancy: Wow, that makes ME sound like a total self-absorbed bitch Nancy: but I get it, of course I do Rio: Ugh, no, so not how I meant that Rio: not like you were giving out 'do not talk about this' vibes, it was just me pussying out, lbr Rio: but you do? thank God Nancy: I kind of always give out those vibes lbr & I kind of am a self-absorbed bitch so like ?? Rio: If you wanna own that then I will say we've talked about you way more than me already so Rio: go off Nancy: Ugh Nancy: I have to own it 👑 Rio: Works for me, babe Rio: regardless of how self-obsessed my socials have me looking, I'm not my favourite topic of conversation Rio: never mind I'm sort of avoiding my parents rn so Nancy: Me either but everyone wants me to talk about it Nancy: all like who are you? or worse, how are you? Rio: Reckon 'what are you gonna do with your life?' trumps 'em both though Nancy: oh, I get that too honey, every time my parents call me Nancy: Sorry I'm not in America being your poster child for success Rio: You're doing it again 😏 Rio: Ah well, I got plans Rio: School ain't necessary for them Nancy: What can I say? He brings out the worst in me Nancy: so what are you gonna do besides leave me 💔? Rio: Awh, don't 😖 Rio: I've got lots of plans, not gonna jinx 'em before I've even started but trust Rio: I can go full-time at the bar I was doing weekends in so that's a start Nancy: is one of them make June let me copy his homework now I won't have yours 'cause I'll cry if not Nancy: but seriously, I believe in you with or without an insta post power move Rio: but of course Rio: you'll be well better off for it Rio: 🧡🧡🧡 Nancy: I reckon I still hate this for me but I love it for you Rio: You're gonna be better than fine Rio: I ain't dying Nancy: everyone needs that to be true so I'll have to Nancy: You'll be thriving who needs essays or irish in their future, good lord Rio: I mean Rio: not to rub it in but Rio: 🙌💃🍾🎊 Nancy: 😭🏫😢🎒🍀💔 Rio: 😂 Rio: At least none of the kids should care too much Rio: end of the world when I moved in with Indie, as if I'm never coming back, or don't live like 5 minutes away 🙄 Nancy: Granddad will be so happy that you're following in his 👣 though you might get that party actually Nancy: You're already his fave Rio: Nancy McKenna, are you actually ASKING for a party right now? Rio: Oh my God, now we HAVE to have one, haters be damned Nancy: We aren't talking about me so shhh Nancy: But you literally have to Nancy: 🧡🧡🧡 Rio: Alright Rio: sexy schoolgirl uniform NOT optional though Rio: not sorry Nancy: It's your party you can objectify me if you want to Nancy: I still have my posh one so Rio: 😏👌 Rio: top totty babe Nancy: I'll make it fashion Nancy: We can burn it after, pretend like I don't have another to go back to Rio: Yeah, we'll stop before burning the books Rio: even if it'd be very cathartic Nancy: Just the 🍀 ones Nancy: Pretty please Rio: No one's expecting you to pass, like Rio: even your 'rents no doubt Rio: literally zero pressure on that one Nancy: my dad is, he thinks it's hilarious Rio: Only got the complexion, like Nancy: the men in our little section of the family are such pricks Nancy: 🙄 Rio: Like that you specified, just in case Junie reads these and is like fuck yo homework Nancy: he's a babe Nancy: even when he's being unhelpful Nancy: which is mostly but that's men for you, like Rio: 😂😂 Rio: ain't gonna put him in charge of party-planning, let's put it that way Nancy: I'll do it Rio: Really? Nancy: I know HOW okay?! I just don't Nancy: usually Rio: Okay, okay! Rio: I don't doubt you Rio: go ahead Nancy: You shouldn't 'cause sexy schoolgirls is my entire coming out so the theme is easy Nancy: Gay origin story Rio: Such a perv, McKenna 😉 Nancy: I was like 12 what else would you have liked me to perv on at the time? Rio: Schlebs and porn like everyone else Rio: duh Nancy: Duh, I'd done that already Nancy: I've been gay since 👶 Rio: not on the 💻 though, I hope Nancy: 😏 Rio: Like I said, filth Nancy: didn't realise moving here meant I had to become a nun by default Nancy: awkward Rio: Someone shoulda told you Rio: churches run this country, babe Nancy: If god was a hot older lady I'd consider devoting myself 😍🙏 but Nancy: worship a man, no thanks Rio: He's not a man, heathen Nancy: depicted like one though WHAT A SURPRISE Rio: Well Jesus was defs not a ginger either so - 1 for you Nancy: Did he look like a beautiful woman or is that just art being 🌈 ? Rio: You've got the weirdest taste Nancy: excuse me I didn't 🎨 it Rio: You're into it Nancy: I've just noticed Rio: Mhmm Nancy: I've been single forever, fight me Rio: That's no excuse to sexualize our lord and saviour Rio: behave yourself Nancy: He isn't mine, that was the point Rio: He's the worlds Nancy: not my world, babe Rio: 🙄 Nancy: when are you working 'cause this party needs to be ASAP Rio: tonight Rio: but I'm working the day sunday so maybe we could do something in the evening? Nancy: Okay Nancy: I'll get it all arranged Rio: 🤞 I don't get murdered before then Rio: but I'm sure the fam will keep you posted Nancy: I'll hear your mum from here Nancy: but you're a babe with a plan, yeah? Rio: Obvs Rio: soz I ain't a babe with a genius IQ, like Rio: what can you do Nancy: Me either but if I can convince my parents, who are WAY scarier that I have to move you can definitely reassure yours you don't need exams Rio: Alright, bitch, it ain't a competition 😉 Rio: Wish me 🍀 Nancy: Doesn't mean you should let me win really easily Nancy: Or that you need luck for this Nancy: Just tell them what you told me, minus the part about my perversions and bad taste, thank you Rio: But I feel that will really soften the blow, like Rio: Yeah, I'm a dropout but Nancy is a MASSIVE creep, so, win some you lose some lads Nancy: 😂 okay okay you can out me Nancy: But genuinely you just need to prove it to them Nancy: Let them see you working for what you want, making it happen, you know Nancy: they'll worry anyway, its the parental standard Nancy: but they'll see where you're coming from too 🤞 eventually Nancy: or they won't and you get to be like look how wrong you are Nancy: either way 🙌💃🍾🎊 Rio: 🧡🧡🧡 Rio: Yeah, you're right Rio: it's happening regardless so they'll have to get used to it Nancy: Gay culture Rio: 😂 Rio: Right, I've got to go get ready Rio: plan my party, bitch Nancy: I've already begun, bitch Nancy: I approve of the enthusiasm Rio: I'd call it keen Rio: 😘 Nancy: We've both been called worse 😚 Nancy: and you should be pleased I'm getting into the spirit Rio: You've read the comments? 😏 Nancy: Have you seen how many there are? I don't have time Nancy: No need though, I can guess Rio: 😂 Rio: Fair, it's more like a 70-30 split in my favour so Rio: not bad Nancy: Keep me posted Rio: 👍

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

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Rio & Buster

Rio: Nance is successfully flirting rn, you'd be so proud Buster: If it was 'cause of me, yeah, but nah know-it-all strikes again, like Rio: 😒 Rio: We're a team, bitch Buster: I'm just playing Buster: Calm down Rio: Hmm Rio: You play too much Buster: What's that meant to mean? Rio: I'm just joking too, duh Rio: Entertain me 'fore I have to thirdwheel this Buster: I reckoned you'd easily entertain yourself Buster: Hence my lack of invite Rio: Babe Rio: You really wanted to come to the gay club? Buster: I really wanted to be with you Buster: You just happen to be there Rio: You know I always wanna be with you Rio: but this was booked in, you should do something fun too Buster: 😒 Rio: Don't be grumpy with me baby Rio: Who am I coming Home to? Buster: I know Buster: It's not your fault I have nothing to do Rio: Sure between us we can think of something Buster: Yeah? Rio: 'Course Rio: know-it-all, babe Rio: don't act like you forgot Rio: What do you wanna do, do you wanna go out do you wanna stay in, do you wanna be with people do you wanna be alone Rio: What's the vibe Buster: I wanna go out too Buster: It ain't right that my sister is but I ain't Rio: Yeah, got you trippin' Rio: are you thinking food or a bar or a club or something else altogether Buster: I don't care Rio: I'm looking Buster: You really must be not feeling that club Rio: I'm not here for me, like Rio: obviously I've been on the floor being gaybait but you know, I missed you Buster: Good to know Rio: Jealousy need not extend that far Rio: in fact, can be dropped altogether 'cos I've just thought of the place and I bet you ain't been Buster: I'm being everywhere worth going so don't get your hopes up, babe Rio: Stop being difficult and start getting ready, boy Rio: [Directions] Buster: Fine Buster: Do you wanna tell me what to wear as well as what to do or nah? Rio: Yeah, if you're offering Buster: Go on then Rio: So much harder to mentally dress you than undress Rio: Give me some options Buster: Where's the fun in that? Buster: You're supposed to know everything Rio: It's gonna be like that, is it? Rio: Alright, test me Rio: [Pic she has of him] This top Rio: [Other] but with these trousers Buster: You sure? Rio: You wanna look good or not? Yes I'm sure Buster: [Sends selfie after probably ages faffing because well he's him] Rio: There's my baby Rio: Perfect Buster: You're cute Rio: Nah all you Buster: I miss you even more now Buster: Stop being nice to me Rio: I can't help but be nice to you Rio: you're very likeable Buster: 😂 Buster: How drunk are you? Rio: Not at all Rio: don't worry, I won't spread your secret loveliness around Buster: Pick your audience like Buster: I know my sister ain't trying to hear that tonight Rio: I'll find a random gay to tell how good my boyfriend is Rio: won't be obnoxious at all Buster: 'Course not Rio: Baby Buster: Yeah? Rio: Never mind, it's stupid Rio: we can talk about it when you're a few more drinks in, like Buster: Tell me Buster: It's alright Rio: It's just Rio: do you think Edie will hate me forever Buster: Nah Buster: She don't hate you now, not really Buster: You're just the easy scapegoat, you know Buster: It's shit but it's what she needs Rio: Maybe Buster: Come on Buster: Nothing's as simple as just hating someone, yeah? Rio: I wish it was Buster: It's good that it ain't though Rio: Good for who? Rio: Not her Buster: For you Buster: But when she sorts her head out, her too Rio: If only THAT was simple Buster: Yeah Buster: It ain't gonna be like this forever though Buster: Not to be that cunt but look at us Buster: Look at where and how we are Rio: We're alright, aren't we? Buster: Better than that, babe Rio: We're not fuck ups? Buster: We've fucked up plenty of times but nah Rio: Okay Rio: I love you Buster: Trust me Buster: I love you Buster: And this ain't a mistake Rio: I do Buster: Have a drink, dance, and turn that knowing brain off, yeah? Buster: It's gonna be alright Rio: Promise Rio: You too, I wanted to make your night better Rio: not fuck it before you got going Buster: You always make my night better Buster: Like you said, who are you coming home to Rio: You baby Rio: Even if we have to be respectfully quiet Rio: boo Buster: We don't have to be anything close to quiet, babe Buster: You know what my sister is like when she gets going Buster: She'll get wasted and we'll do whatever we want Rio: Maybe she'll be preoccupied herself Rio: the night is young Buster: Don't Rio: What? Rio: You know why people come to the club, babe Buster: 😒 Buster: That's my sister, I don't wanna hear it Rio: You're adorable Rio: she's heard enough of your exploits in her time, she probably weren't buzzin' either, boy Buster: Not from me she ain't Rio: Please Rio: You loved a brag Buster: Fuck off Rio: Easy Buster: Whatever Rio: 😞 Buster: Stop sulking you're meant to be having fun Rio: Love me I want attention Buster: 😂 Rio: 😒 Rio: Rude Buster: Babe Buster: You're just funny Rio: I just know how to ask for what I want, you meant to say Rio: 😏 Buster: Alright Buster: Start over Rio: Hm? Buster: Ask me again and I'll react how you want Rio: Oh Rio: Love me Buster: [Sends a kissy face selfie because he's a nerd] Rio: 😋😍 Rio: that's better Rio: thank you baby Buster: I love you Rio: You're the cutest Rio: and I love you mostest Rio: they just played 4 ABBA songs in a row Rio: 4 Buster: Sorry I'm a moody cunt Buster: It's just weird having Nance here Buster: Well, I was gonna ask how shit was going but there's my answer, like Rio: I know it is Rio: It's reassuring to know she doesn't hate you though, yeah? Buster: No more than standard you mean Buster: But yeah Rio: You're doing good, baby Rio: I'm proud of you Rio: and I think she's having a pretty good time Buster: Good Buster: I'm gonna have a drink and calm down myself now Rio: Sounds like a plan Buster: I wish you were here though Rio: I know you don't like sharing Rio: hard when your wifey's the life and soul, babe Buster: Never call yourself that again Buster: You sound like Indie Rio: Awkward Buster: Exactly Rio: Now she might actually hate me Rio: that one Buster: I don't reckon she hates you either Rio: I'll bet you Buster: How much? Rio: Moneys boring Rio: think of something more fun Buster: Name a fantasy, I'll do it for you if I win Buster: You do mine if I win Rio: Interesting Rio: I like it Buster: Are we on or nah? Rio: 'Course Rio: I can't lose Buster: Shut up Buster: You know I always win Rio: Nah babe Rio: Sorry but you're going to look so good taking that L, hope that's consolation Buster: Whatever you say, babe Rio: I'm just th Rio: inking what I want you to do most Buster: Same Rio: Don't get too attached to the idea Buster: Says you Rio: 🥊 Rio: You'll see Buster: I know you will 🥇 Buster: I've got this Rio: 😡 Buster: Behave Buster: Don't be a sore loser already Rio: Doesn't take a know-it-all to work out your fantasy would leave me sore Buster: 😏 Rio: Pervert Buster: You love it Rio: Yeah Buster: Tell me about yours Rio: Not giving you spoilers Rio: you don't get time to prepare Buster: Fine Rio: Hey, it's my fantasy not yours Buster: I'm just trying to find out what we won't be doing Rio: I don't wanna turn you on in public Rio: I'm not that kind of girl Buster: 'Course not Rio: I am mad though Buster: Why? Rio: Because everyone's getting off with each other and I'm just sat here and you're there Rio: and it's stupid Buster: Is that your way of telling me that my sister is hooking up with someone right now? Rio: I didn't say anything Rio: You don't wanna know Buster: But she is Rio: Shh Rio: don't tell her I said Buster: If I can't take the piss there's no point her even being here, like Rio: 😩 Buster Buster: What? Rio: Ugh Rio: you didn't hear it from me okay Buster: Behave Buster: I'm not gonna sell you out, babe Rio: I think she's alright looking Rio: not sat here staring, like Rio: but from my sneaky peeks Buster: If she ain't in her 40s its an improvement, yeah? Rio: Behave Buster: Come on Buster: Don't act like you haven't thought it Rio: I'm thinking if she's had kids she's looking well for it Buster: 😂 Rio: i'm getting another drink Buster: Good Buster: You gotta keep up Rio: Excuse you Rio: Miles ahead, boy Buster: You reckon? Rio: Are you kidding me Rio: I've lost track of all the free drinks I've been getting Buster: Nicely done Buster: Get the brag in Rio: 🤷 Rio: Everyone's fave Buster: You don't have to tell me Rio: Any excuse to talk to you Buster: Babe Buster: You know you don't need one Rio: Remember when we did though Rio: Remember, like it was ages ago Rio: feels it Buster: Yeah Buster: Lets never go back Rio: Sure? Rio: Now's your chance, like, already told me the engagements off Buster: When did I say that? Rio: You said I couldn't call myself wifey Rio: was joking on both, obviously Buster: Only 'cause it's cringe not 'cause I don't want you to be Rio: It's chill, babe, I know what's up Buster: What do you know? Rio: That you didn't really mean it Rio: it was just a heat of the moment deal, I get it Buster: Is that why you said yes? Rio: I don't know Buster: Yeah you do Buster: It either is or isn't the reason Rio: This is so humiliating Rio: I mean Rio: no, it obviously isn't the only reason is it but Buster: But what? Rio: Like I said, I get that it wasn't like binding Rio: I'm not holding you to it Buster: You don't get it, clearly Rio: What Buster: You never wanna hold me to anything I say if you don't wanna hear it Rio: Nah Rio: That's not what I'm saying Buster: That's what I'm saying Buster: When was the last time I said something I didn't mean? Rio: I just didn't want it to be a repeat of the 'I love you' situation Rio: but if it's not then, I'm sorry, like Buster: Forget it Rio: Obviously not Buster: Whatever then Rio: Don't be like that Rio: I feel really fucking stupid now Buster: You feel stupid? I'm the one that said it Rio: Yeah and I said that and now you think I don't mean what I said before Buster: Well you don't so Buster: Cheers for telling me, like Rio: Don't tell me what I do or don't mean Buster: You literally said that you didn't Rio: I did not Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: I'm not drunk enough for this Rio: I said I thought you didn't mean it, that's not the same Buster: Like I said, forget it Rio: For God's sake Buster: Don't Rio: Well you know I'm not going to forget so stop saying it Rio: but if you don't want to talk right now I can't make you Buster: I can say whatever the fuck I want Buster: I don't want to talk right now 'cause you'll just reckon I don't mean any of it Rio: Mature Buster: Sorry I'm not 42 I'm sure it's not too late for Nance to give you some pointers on that score though so Rio: My point exactly Buster: If you're making a point, make a fucking point, like Buster: All your doing is giving me a headache Rio: My point is, you've not thought this through Buster: Fuck you Buster: You're not in my head even if you're trying to get under my skin right now Rio: I can't win Rio: Jesus Buster: It's not a fucking game, that's why Rio: I mean, if I'd just stuck with it, that'd probably be wrong Rio: I try to do the right thing and that's wrong too Buster: How is not believing what I say the right thing? Buster: You either know how much I love you or you don't Buster: And you either wanna marry me or you don't Rio: Well I wasn't exactly expecting it Rio: And it ain't that simple, ever, is it Buster: Yeah it is Rio: Just on this then? Rio: 'cos how do you expect me to keep track when you swap sides like this Buster: What is that meant to mean? Rio: You said that it ain't that simple, about Edie and Indie and all of that Rio: why is this different Buster: 'Cause its not like I was like we're going to Vegas right now, pack a bag Rio: Yeah well, good Rio: even so you probably want to give yourself more time than you have Buster: No I don't Buster: But you take it Rio: I'm just saying Rio: this is your first time, like Buster: Do you wanna be more patronizing? Buster: Go on, I reckon you can go harder at it Rio: This is just what everyone else would say Rio: I'd be shit if I didn't Buster: I already told you that I don't care Buster: You said you didn't either Buster: But whatever Rio: You can't not care at all Buster: Why can't I? Rio: Because it's impossible Buster: Try me Rio: Right Buster: Right Rio: Is there anything I can say or should I just go? Buster: Do what you want Rio: Doesn't answer my question but alright Buster: 'Cause I can't tell you what to say Buster: Or do Rio: I'm not asking you to, I'm asking if there's any point in me trying right now Buster: Well there's no point giving up ever, is there? Buster: Who are we? Rio: Okay Rio: Maybe you're right, should we just forget this ever happened Buster: I don't know Rio: Can you? Buster: I don't know Rio: I wasn't trying to be a dick, I was just trying to do the right thing for you Rio: but that's up to you, I know Buster: Yeah Rio: I'm really sorry Buster: Just come home, yeah? Buster: I will too Rio: Yeah Rio: I'll see if I can convince Nancy Buster: She's got enough hair to pull her by Rio: I really ain't out here tryna brawl Buster: How drunk is she? You might not have to Rio: Fairly but not like, call out the fam, stalk your ex levels Buster: Well, that's something Rio: I thought so Buster: If you need help my cab can swing by you and we can share it back Rio: That'd be good Rio: thanks Buster: No need to thank me Buster: Purely selfish 'cause the sooner we can make Nance leave the sooner we can Rio: Did you like the bar? Buster: Yeah Buster: We should go back Rio: I knew you would Rio: I'm down Buster: Just me and you though Rio: Of course Buster: I'm sorry that tonight's been a shitshow Rio: That ain't your fault Rio: nothing that can't be fixed, yeah? Buster: 'Course Buster: I'm taking the blame though Rio: No you ain't Rio: Literally how can you, good luck Buster: 'Cause my shit mood started it Rio: Nah Rio: but I don't care if we can be friends again Buster: As long as you don't want to only be friends Buster: 'Cause that's going a bit far Rio: Don't be silly Buster: Not trying to have a sleepover with my sister, like Buster: That's all I'm saying Rio: Me either Rio: but I think your family would be a little put out to find me on the sofa so Rio: glad we're on the same page Buster: Babe, you know I'd take the sofa Buster: But yeah Rio: You can't be being a gentleman even when we're fighting Buster: It ain't even it's just not being a worse cunt Buster: And not having my mum fight me as well Rio: You've been raised too right for that clearly Rio: You're not even close to being that cunt, trust Buster: You're shamelessly biased Buster: But cheers Rio: Nah Rio: not to start pitting you against 'em but I've dated many actual so Rio: I know Buster: Yeah Buster: Fucked but true Rio: It is what it is Buster: I hate it though Rio: I know Rio: but that shit's well in the past Buster: I know Rio: I think Ryan's moved on, like Buster: Good Buster: I don't have to find the cunt on my doorstep Rio: I'd question if he was ever that devoted but don't need to jinx it Buster: Yeah, like speaking of forgetting something Rio: It's weird Rio: not having to think about that anymore Rio: or think about drew or think about hiding us Buster: The only way is up, literally Buster: Not to get a non-Abba song stuck in your head but Rio: You're funny Buster: I'm hilarious Buster: And I miss you Rio: You're on your way aren't you Buster: Never fast enough Rio: that's what she said Buster: Now who's funny Buster: Coming for my 👑 again, babe Rio: What can I say? Rio: I want you outta all of that Rio: 👑 included Buster: So that's why you picked all the clothes you picked, is it? Buster: It makes so much sense now Rio: 😏 Rio: and you looked good Rio: as if i need any incentive to want you Buster: Could've been wearing a corset but the girlfriend has spoken and she ain't got time for that Buster: You looked fucking hot, wasted on that club and anywhere I'm not Rio: Adding that to potential fantasy list now Buster: 😂😏 Rio: Only got yourself to blame for giving me ideas Buster: No blame or shame Buster: I'd look great Rio: I know 🤤 Rio: Stop distracting me Buster: Fine I'll save it for the cab ride home Buster: I can see Nance but I can't see you Buster: Tiny angel problems Rio: Have you forgotten you invited her along for the ride or what Rio: and how dare you suggest I get lost in the crowd Buster: Come and kiss me if you can reach my beautiful face Rio: You're an idiot Rio: a tall, handsome idiot Buster: Fuck, you look so beautiful Rio: There we go, not too painful Rio: though she did smack her head on the way in Buster: 😂 Buster: She can blame tomorrow's headache on that, like Rio: Yeah, bet she was wishing she was short too now 😏 Buster: Then she'd look even more like mum Buster: I don't know if that's the goal or nah Rio: Probably not hers but I wouldn't be mad Buster: I would Rio: 😂 Rio: Unlikely you gotta worry about that Buster: Good Buster: Do I chat this much shit when I'm drunk or is it just her? Rio: Sure, when you're drunk 😉 Rio: Nah, you don't though Rio: she just saves up her words, like Buster: Literally Buster: Shut up, Nance Rio: You don't need to listen, the cabbie's feeling it Buster: Distract me Rio: You're meant to be distracting me, remember Buster: Am I? Rio: So you said Rio: but knew you was all chat, it's cool Buster: Shut up Buster: When have I ever been all chat? Rio: 😏 Rio: Just hoping you'll prove me wrong babe Buster: Come here Buster: You're so far from me, like Rio: How far can I really be Rio: but okay Buster: That's better Rio: Is it? Rio: What about that? Buster: I'm not mad about it Buster: So you can't be if I do this Rio: I wouldn't call it mad Rio: Frustrated, maybe Buster: Poor baby Buster: Does that help? Rio: mm Buster: Use your words Rio: I can't Rio: for two reasons now Buster: Some kind of sound is gonna come out, I know you, so what would you rather, babe? Rio: Please don't stop Buster: I won't Rio: I swear I'll be quiet Buster: We'll see Rio: I've needed this all night Buster: I know Buster: I'm here now, babe Rio: I don't like going out without you Buster: Me either Buster: Especially when you go out looking this good Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: You're so hot, don't you know that? Rio: I didn't even try tonight though Buster: Come on Buster: You don't have to Rio: I'm glad you think so Buster: Well now I can't stop until you agree with me Rio: Baby Buster: Tell me how hot you are Rio: 😶 Buster: If that's how you want it Buster: Guess I'll have to make you Buster: Like this Rio: Okay okay Rio: I'm hot Rio: but you're hotter Buster: I see through your shameless flattery but I like it Rio: It's true Buster: Nah Buster: You're fucking stunning, like Rio: Shh Buster: You're the one whose meant to be being quiet Buster: Not me Rio: I don't wanna talk right now Buster: I know exactly what you want Rio: Then stop teasing me Rio: I can't take much more Buster: Say please Rio: Buster Buster: Go on Rio: I swear I'm gonna make you pay when we get home Buster: Promises, promises, babe Buster: I still wanna hear it while you're still able, like Rio: Fuck Rio: I can't fight it, you know how you got me Rio: Please please please Buster: Good girl Buster: Okay Buster: Now you've earned this Rio: Oh God Rio: put your fingers in my mouth Rio: I'm gonna scream Buster: Jesus Rio: I can't help it Rio: just please don't stop whatever you do Buster: Kiss me Buster: You can moan as loud as you want then Rio: Can we Buster: If she hasn't noticed anything else we're doing I think we're fine Rio: Yeah Rio: it's just so fucking hard to stop kissing you once I've started Buster: Then don't Buster: I can fight with her about it tomorrow if needs be Rio: Fuck it Rio: I need you as close as I can get you Buster: Yeah Rio: I love you Buster: I love you too, Rio Rio: Don't forget Buster: Never gonna happen Rio: Good Buster: Fuck me Buster: How do you keep doing this to me Rio: 'Cos I know you Rio: I know exactly what makes you tick Buster: I want you so bad right now Buster: I can't handle it Rio: I know Rio: I can feel it Rio: Not far now Buster: Touch me Rio: Is that what you want, daddy? Buster: I need you to Rio: How do you want me to touch you Rio: Where Rio: You gotta be more specific Buster: [Takes her hand and puts it where he wants 'cause what are words, am I right? Lol these shameless hoes] Rio: Oh Rio: so you don't have to use your words Buster: Is that what you need, babe? Buster: There's plenty of things I can whisper to you if you want Rio: You know what your voice does to me but this is about you Buster: It can be about both of us Rio: Pleasing you is what gets me off Rio: You know that Rio: let me make you happy Buster: Oh fuck Rio: Better? Buster: As long as you don't stop Rio: When I've only just started? Rio: Who do you take me for Buster: There are a fair few other distractions in this cab Buster: I'm not saying it'd be your fault Rio: Rude Rio: There are nicer ways to tell me to try harder but understood Buster: Baby Buster: I'm saying you're doing so good that I might get us caught Buster: Especially if you're gonna go any harder Rio: Fine Rio: I'll be good Buster: I know you will Buster: You are Rio: Tell me Buster: Christ, Rio Buster: You're so fucking good Rio: Only for you baby Buster: We have to stop, I can't be quiet anymore Buster: I can't Rio: Okay Rio: Mean it this time, well Rio: I don't wanna but I will Buster: I don't want to either Buster: Tell me we don't have to Rio: We do Rio: 'cos I wanna hear you Buster: How far from home are we? Buster: I can barely think Buster: 'Cause I wanna be inside you Rio: Like five minutes, I think Rio: five too long now Buster: You mean Nance's running commentary ain't making the time fly for you, babe? 😂 Buster: What is she even chatting about now, like? Rio: 😏 Not quite Rio: Idk, but this is lowkey better than the flirting she was doing earlier so Rio: success or failure? not sure Buster: You make me laugh Buster: Someone must have liked it though Buster: Or maybe just her face? Rio: Awh babe, that's nice Buster: We share genetics, It's impossible for her to be ugly Buster: Simple as Rio: 🙄 Rio: So close Buster: You know it's true Buster: I'm not gonna have an ugly twin Rio: I'm not saying it isn't but you know, she's not reading this Rio: you can just be nice 😂 Buster: Well right now I only wanna be nice to you Buster: Sorry, like Rio: Not gonna complain Buster: Good Buster: Me either. I'm done being a moody cunt for the evening Buster: You'll be glad to know Rio: I'm still sorry Buster: Don't be Buster: I mean it Rio: But I do too Rio: you know that, yeah Buster: 'Course I do Buster: But like, I don't want it to be that way, I only said what I said 'cause of how much I wanna be with you Buster: Not to cause a rift or whatever Buster: And I only said it was simple 'cause for me it is, not I ain't a confused kid, you know Buster: Not like they are Rio: It won't Rio: cause a rift Rio: I know now Rio: I just had to make sure so then I can know where I stand Buster: And where's that? Rio: Well, I wanna stay with you too Rio: Obviously Buster: For forever though? Rio: Yes Buster: Then literally what were we fighting about? Rio: I did try to say Buster: I'm so sorry Rio: Shh Rio: It doesn't matter now Buster: I love you so much Buster: Seriously Rio: I know Rio: and I love you just as much Buster: Sorry Nance but I have to kiss you again Buster: Even if we are nearly home Rio: She can deal on this one Buster: Yeah 'cause I won't be able to deal if I don't Buster: So fuck it Rio: We kept it practically PG-13 back here Buster: And we kept it secret long enough Buster: [smooches and somehow that's the most dramatic PDA of all 'cause they highkey and Nance spies it 'cause typical] Rio: Oops Rio: 😳 Buster: I'm not sorry Buster: I ain't said anything about her club hook up Buster: Yet, like Rio: God at least give her 'til morning 😂 Buster: Obviously Buster: More fun that way Rio: I'm having nothing to do with it Rio: I just wanna get outta this cab without a fine Buster: Easy Buster: We're basically home anyway Rio: Easy if you watch your mouth, boy Buster: I'm gonna give her time to get properly mortified, hence waiting until the AM and sobriety Buster: Don't worry Buster: Not a fucking amateur Rio: I hope she's proud af just to fuck with you now Buster: 😂 Buster: You did say the girl was cute, yeah? So could be Rio: Not my type but yeah Rio: not like, pull her away sharpish at any rate Buster: One day I'm gonna make you tell me what your type of girl is Rio: 😏 Buster: But come on, let's finally get the fuck inside Rio: Thank God

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

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Janis & Grace

Janis: Where are we putting the exchange then? What rooms are empty rn? Grace: I volunteered to share mine, but mum wasn't having it 😂 Grace: Juniors? I mean like, they can always run away to the barn if you can keep your barista bf away from it Janis: Yeah, they don't need that much room Janis: most people got 'em sleeping in the dining room or whatever so consider yourself lucky Janis: Help you clean it later if it needs Grace: OMG imagine if we'd done that. Dad would be waking them up at all hours with custard tarts and whatever Grace: Cringe! Grace: 🙄 Gotta sort my own first obvs but I doubt there's anything major Janis: S'gonna be cringe regardless but free holiday at the end of it 👌 Janis: Dust off the trophies probs Janis: fucking golden boy Grace: You think? Grace: Ugh true! Grace: Maybe we shouldn't put him in there, he might assume we're all overachieving weirdos Grace: nu-uh honey Janis: Yeah, god knows what kinda melts they're sending Janis: seen half of our lot that are doing it? unlucky, like Janis: meh, idc Janis: rather that than thick as shit surely Grace: omg don't Grace: if he doesn't look like Diego Luna circa dirty dancing 2 what are we even! Grace: You might not care but i'm DYING for new faces around here Grace: UMMM excuse you, he can talk to me to find out that I'm not Janis: I have no idea who you're on about Janis: you know they aren't staying forever, yeah? Grace: HUSH GIRL Grace: Like I'm gonna stay here forever, PLEASE! Janis: Okay, you're running away to buttfuck nowhere in Spain Janis: Solid plan, babe Grace: I never said that, babes Grace: There's a whole world out there that needs to get ready for me Janis: Right Grace: That better be genuine, you bitch! 😂 Janis: if you like Janis: wasn't but if we're being mental today Grace: RUDE Grace: How am I being mental? Janis: over-excitable then, as per Janis: spanish inquisition rocking up ain't no thing to get your knickers in a twist about Janis: they're just gonna be more of the same Grace: 🙄 Grace: Cos we get one decent new boy come around in a lifetime, right? Grace: I know you can only get excited about one lad but give me a break Janis: Didn't say that Janis: just saying, they're still teenagers, not a new species Grace: ugh 👌 Grace: Do this mean you're not gonna help me pick an outfit for my first impression? Janis: do you want my help Janis: really Grace: that's why I asked, babes Grace: Gotta get myself across before everyone else starts talking 🙉 Janis: Yeah Janis: alright then Grace: 🙇 Grace: Now can I be excited?? 😏 Janis: No doubt Janis: love having a captive audience you 😜 Grace: Gotta get that validation where I can now that so many of my vids are private Grace: New 🍂 same me 😂 Janis: You sure you got the right person here? 😂 Grace: No but you're the best I've got so 🤞 Grace: If Rio ever called a bitch back you'd be off the hook Janis: Too busy with her new freaky fam for this one now babe Grace: Where's the lie? Janis: can't say I blame her, like Janis: but could at least show up and get me out of this Grace: Rude Grace: It'll be fun. Promise Grace: I got sent some really good freebies after my last upload if you need an extra incentive Grace: Not even all make up like Janis: Whatever, it's cool Janis: as long as I get to be brutally honest Grace: Duh Janis: what else could a girl need, like Grace: Literally Grace: OMG bring the boy so I can get a male POV Janis: 😂 Nah Janis: you think he has any fashion sense Grace: SHADE Grace: he did fall for you tho, so valid Grace: No trying to show up with an angry P.E teacher vibe Janis: 🖕 funny Grace: You didn't get all the sense of humour in the womb, babes Janis: someone had one to shove us in there together Grace: Honestly Grace: So when you coming home?? Grace: I'll start pulling possible looks ASAP Janis: Just heading gym so Janis: got an hour to whittle down Janis: and if I see a sequin I'm out Grace: Oh honey no Grace: They aren't showing up at cocktail hour Janis: and you aren't five years old Grace: OMG that's one of the nicest things you've ever said to me Janis: more of a reminder than a compliment but have at it Grace: Sure Jan Grace: It's okay I won't tell anyone we're playing nice Grace: Gotta take all the credit for whatever magic you think you can work anyways Janis: They'll just think you're being delusional as per Janis: I can't lose, like Janis: still think you can just whack out a fucking flamenco dress and call it a day Janis: racial stereotyping to get the ball rolling, why not Grace: UGH DON'T Grace: You know someone will Grace: Michelle Tavistock 100% is tempted I can just tell Grace: #ironic like EW NO, HUN Janis: probably get her some and all Janis: rubbing their hands together like stupid english girl Grace: So gross Grace: How long before some starts an #irish pride situ too like Janis: the lads when they see none of the spanish lasses are thick enough to ride 'em Grace: 😂 Grace: If Pablo starts anything I will die Grace: You think I'm cringe babes but omg Janis: Nightmare, pair of you Janis: forgetting the spanish for brother and sister on purpose Grace: On purpose, yeah, sure Janis: Ha, puta springs to mind easy enough so shut up Grace: How dare you Grace: I'm Zorra or I'm nothing 💘 Janis: basura 💩 Grace: I so knew you were gonna say that Janis: clean up your act then, babe Grace: EXCUSE YOU Grace: 1. I have 2. rude of you to shame me Janis: yeah yeah yeah 😉 Grace: Ignoring you now Janis: Finally Grace: 🙄 Janis: 😂 Grace: But seriously I can't believe you're leaving loverboy and going off to do your half 💔 Janis: Dramatic Janis: not joined at the hip Grace: Uh YEAH you are Grace: He's gonna be well tragic without you Janis: He'll survive, babe Grace: Not me you gotta convince Grace: Bless him Janis: Shut up Janis: we're not 12 Grace: All the more reason Grace: He's got it so bad Janis: Nah Grace: You'll see when you have your Rom Com style airport moment, babes Grace: Just you wait Janis: That won't be happening Janis: gonna go airport at the arse crack of dawn 'cos the teacher's are sadists and that's when they booked the flights Janis: I think not Grace: Like that'll stop him being all 😍🎕💕 Grace: So into you 💍 Janis: you're mad if you think I'm letting that happen Grace: 😂 Grace: You're as bad Grace: Gross af the pair of you Janis: psh Janis: only 'cos you're so obsessed with me Janis: no one in this fam knows boundaries Grace: including you Grace: all over that boy 24/7 Janis: piss off Grace: Hey, not judging, just making a point Janis: well, you got it wrong alright Grace: Chill, you're in love it's a good thing Janis: I ain't though Grace: 🙄 Grace: Okay babe Janis: what would you know about it Grace: I've got 👀 Grace: Calm down, I'll drop it Janis: do Grace: 👌

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

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Buster & Rio

Buster: Don't ignore me Rio: Don't tell me what to do Rio: what do you want Buster: To talk Rio: Go on then Buster: You were right Buster: Should've listened Rio: Okay Rio: Sorry Buster: Don't Buster: I'm sorry Rio: No you're not Buster: I just fucking said I am Rio: Yeah 'cos she's turned you down Buster: No cause I was a cunt to you Buster: I standby what I tried to do, like Rio: Forget about it Rio: Nothing new Buster: Fuck off Rio: No, you Buster: Don't be so childish Buster: Christ Rio: What do you want me to say? Rio: Not about me, I've got no part in this Buster: Not me and her Buster: But me and you Buster: I'm trying to make shit right, Rio, come on Rio: That's what you're always trying to do Buster: Yeah Buster: Let me Buster: I've said sorry, what more do you want? Rio: You really don't get it, do you? Buster: Well, tell me Rio: I can't do this anymore Rio: You think I'm going to sit around and wait for you Rio: Whilst you try your damnedest to get with someone better and sort your life out so you can piss off for good Rio: I'm over it, Buster Buster: I wasn't thinking about you Buster: It was about my kid Buster: None of this is to fuck you over Buster: You're full of shit if you think that or that she's better than you Rio: Alright but it did Rio: Do what you gotta do but I have to do the same Buster: Do you want another apology like? Buster: I've done what I can. She doesn't want me back Buster: I'm not sorry I tried but I'm sorry it hurt you Rio: and I said I'm sorry for you too Rio: What do YOU want from me? Buster: You already know that Rio: Well, I can't Buster: Nothing has to change for me and you Rio: You reckon? Buster: Yeah Buster: I still feel the same Rio: It's not enough Rio: we've been shown that enough times now Rio: it's never going to be Buster: What would be? Buster: Tell me what you want Rio: To not be fucking related to you so it could be anything but a dirty little secret Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: I can't do that Rio: I know Rio: so just go find someone you like and don't fuck it up this time Buster: 'Cause that worked so well last time Buster: Don't you get it, whoever I try and be with I still want you Rio: You can't have both Rio: and you should get to be happy Rio: so just Rio: stop Rio: alright Buster: You stop Buster: It's not that fucking easy Rio: Yeah I know Rio: but you said you were gonna try Buster: And you said I was an idiot Rio: Because I'm selfish and I don't want you to leave me behind Rio: but if you're going to, which you will, then you have to fucking commit and not keep toying with me Buster: I'm selfish too Buster: We're the same Buster: So don't tell me what I'm gonna do Rio: If you were more reliable you could tell me Buster: I'm telling you I want you Buster: How's that not enough? Rio: Because we've been here before Rio: and you just told her you wanted her Rio: how am I meant to believe you Buster: 'Cause we're meant to be here, babe Buster: I never said that to her Buster: You can trust me Rio: I can't keep lying, Buster Rio: its fucking with my head Buster: Then stop Rio: Can't about this though Buster: You don't have to tell them you're coming to fuck me, yeah? Buster: You can still be more honest Rio: Will you? Rio: I'm not putting it all out there to get fuck all back in return Buster: If you want Buster: Nobody's that in my business like but Rio: I meant with each other Buster: I'm already honest with you, babe Rio: Are you? Buster: Yeah Rio: I just don't know where I stand with you half the time Rio: its exhausting Buster: You're with me Rio: Prove it Buster: What do you want me to do? Rio: I'm not helping you Rio: Figure it out Buster: Fucking hell Buster: Rio Buster: Come on Rio: Its not that hard Rio: you're meant to be clever Buster: Not a mind reader Buster: But fine Rio: Buster Rio: I love it but there's no way I can keep it, like Rio: how much did it even cost Buster: Enough to prove my point Buster: If you're with me you've gotta wear it Rio: Okay Rio: I will then Buster: Good Buster: No need to hand it back when you're sick of me either like Rio: Not going to happen Rio: either option like Rio: I'm keeping it and you Buster: Quick say something bitchy Rio: You're an idiot Buster: Cheers Rio: Cheers yourself Rio: where are you? Buster: Where do you want me? Rio: With me Buster: I'll be there then Rio: I missed you Buster: I missed you too, babe Rio: I can't wait to show you how much Buster: You've got nothing to prove but I'm still ready for that Rio: Nah but I do have to say thank you properly so Rio: don't question a good thing, boy Buster: I won't Buster: How good are you promising? Rio: You can let me know after Rio: might even try, like Buster: Fucking hell Buster: You must really love the gucci Rio: Yeah Rio: Something like that Buster: Where am I going to find you? Rio: At mine Rio: No need to crash a car or anything Buster: Do my best Buster: Not as distracted yet like Rio: Boo Rio: Have I lost my touch? Buster: Nah Buster: But I'm waiting on it Rio: I'm ready when you are Buster: Well that's a distracting thought Buster: Nicely done Rio: Are you in a lecture rn? Rio: 😏 Buster: Maybe Rio: Oh this is going to be fun then Rio: I'm going to make you so distracted in front of everyone Rio: 😈 Buster: You reckon? Rio: Yep Rio: Challenge thrown down and accepted, you're welcome Buster: I ain't you babe I'm capable of ignoring Rio: Ha, we shall see when I'm blowing up your phone with that good good Rio: Lucky for you (me) I was filming today so I'm looking 👌 Buster: Let me see Rio: Is this being ignored? Good job, babe Rio: [Sends pics in various different poses] Buster: Didn't say I was, just that I could Rio: You just don't want to? Rio: Such a dad move Rio: its okay though, I like it Buster: Yeah cause you're a MILF Buster: Makes sense you'd like that Rio: Can I call you daddy then? Buster: Shut up Rio: Nope Rio: Punish me when you get home Buster: Remember you said that Rio: Make it so I can't forget Buster: As long as nobody interrupts us this time Rio: Its alright she's at college Rio: more studious than you, thank God Buster: If you're complaining I can get back to it Rio: I'm not, I'm thanking God for both things Rio: though it's pretty hot when you talk law 😜 Buster: Yeah? Rio: Mhmm Rio: Real Secretary vibes Buster: Fuck Buster: You gonna let me tell you what to do? Rio: Not even a question Buster: Don't be running to me in a wedding dress though like Buster: Not what I what you to be wearing, cheers Rio: 😂 Rio: Tell me what you want me to wear then Buster: Just the bling Buster: You know the black lace you have that I like Rio: [As instructed] Rio: Good? Buster: Not bad, like Rio: Okay, man of steel Rio: see I've gotta get creative, bare with Buster: That I can do. No problem with waiting ever. So patient Rio: Please, I'll suck your dick but I'm not stroking your ego THAT hard Rio: you wanna go back to before, jog your memory a little Buster: I'm known for it. And this lecture is well interesting Rio: Tell me more Rio: What's it about? Rio: [Drops video] Buster: We've been at this long enough that I ain't falling for the ambush Buster: You look good though Rio: 😡 Rio: You're not playing fair Buster: And you are? Buster: You know how fucking sexy you are when you're angry like Rio: I just want you to win, baby Buster: Nah you wanna win Buster: You've scored a lot of points, I can't lie Rio: Hmm, a bit Rio: we both can Rio: I know 😉 you're not that good an actor Buster: That's your hustle not mine, babe Buster: But you don't know how many so I'll take that Rio: Yeah, too respectable a boy for that Rio: Such a shame Rio: Tell me in my review, like Buster: I don't have to be if that's how you want it Buster: You'll know Rio: You're not in private Rio: that's how I want you, just for me Buster: Tell me to walk out Buster: You know all the right things to say Rio: How long's left? Buster: Too long Rio: Yeah Rio: Come get me Buster: You sure you're ready? Buster: Thought you wanted to win this thing Rio: Already have Rio: what do you think my prize is? 😏 Buster: You'll see Rio: Tease Buster: Didn't mean to take your job Buster: But I do want you on this desk Rio: 😩🤤 Baby Rio: Probably not a classroom but can we, you gotta know somewhere on campus we only MIGHT get caught, not definitely Buster: Maybe Buster: Come meet me I'll show you Rio: Alright Rio: Going to have to find out a suitably long coat Rio: Can't be that brazen Rio: but rules are rules and I'm not changing Buster: Fuck Buster: Can you drive? Rio: Yeah Rio: As well as you could if not better Rio: Coming Buster: You will be Rio: Better Buster: I've made my escape, I'll find you at the car Buster: Lead the way Rio: You're meant to be giving me the tour Rio: so just wanna check me out from behind, you ain't slick Buster: Maybe Buster: You owe me after that exit. Lucky for me I've got some big law books so you're the only one who has to know how distracted you made me Rio: 😍 You're so cute Rio: I'll help you study Buster: You're so hot Buster: If you really wanna study we should go to the library. See how quiet you can be Rio: Might need your help with that Rio: Think of all the ways you can shut me up and I'll find you in there Buster: Okay Buster: Pick a sturdy desk Rio: Yes sir Buster: Hurry up, yeah? Rio: 🚀

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

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Rio & Buster

Rio: 😞 Rio: Well, Indie was so fucked she didn't even remember you being there.. soz you were so unforgettable, babe Rio: You get home alright? Buster: Always am, babe 😏 Even if it's the one time I'd rather be without the -un Buster: Course Rio: Ugh, trust you to run with a typo! 😂 Rio: I clued her in but she is not feeling adequately sorry for it, like Rio: didn't clue her in THAT hard, fuck but you know 😒 Buster: Trust you to make it Buster: Both of you missing me that bad already, yeah? Rio: She is, making me wanna slap her if she weren't so clueless what's she's saying 🙄 Bless Rio: and my fingers slipped, what of it boy Buster: At least you don't need to be jealous of her Buster: Hot as that'd be Buster: UNsurprised, you make a habit of that around me, like 😏 Rio: Apparently, I am, like 🤷 Rio: Full of it, she is Rio: too alike, you two, never work Rio: Oh, did she bite you, btw? She's got a loose tooth, how, I ask you... Buster: Well she's your lil mate, so again, unsurprised all around Buster: But nah, bite mark free Buster: Keep sleuthing that one Rio: Not even gonna argue Rio: more of a mini-me than any of my other sibs 😚 Rio: I daren't ask around tbh, we've secured she ain't knocked up, I'll take that so we'll just book the dentist appointment and forget all about it, I reckon Buster: Yeah, she's cockblocked me too now Buster: Thank Christ nobody could've said THAT kid's mine Buster: Don't need another coming Rio: I'm not on team cockblock anymore! Rio: Trust, no one's madder than me Rio: Don't even play that is literally the LAST thing I need on top of everything else Rio: Can you imagine? No wonder Nan had a coronary, if Indie was about to be a Ma...Lawd o mercy Buster: Maybe the dentist'll sort her head out Buster: Nobody's having fun there Buster: Not saying payback for ruining the mood but I'll still take it, cheers Rio: Harsh but Rio: feeling it 😂 Rio: even Mums get to be bitches, yeah? Buster: They're the best at it Buster: Have you met mine? Rio: Not saying you deserve it but Rio: 😉 Buster: Fuck off Buster: You know I deserved last night and that didn't happen Rio: I know Rio: Universe just upping the stakes Rio: Only means I've gotta make it up to you harder when it finally happens Buster: You better Buster: When I come back, clear the fucking schedule Rio: Duh Rio: You best come for AT LEAST a weekend Buster: You'll have to give yourself a week to recover even then Rio: 😏 Rio: Big talk but that's yet to be seen Buster: Trust me, it ain't Rio: Don't tease me when you've only just left Rio: When do you next have an excuse to be back? Buster: Not even trying to it's just Buster: Fuck Buster: Already working on it. Get thinking too, family this big there's gotta be something soon, like Rio: Check the schedule 'fore I clear it, no probs Rio: but I know Rio: I promise I feel it too Rio: [Sends photographic evidence] Buster: What happened to no teasing when I've only just left? Rio: You started it Buster: Doesn't mean you have to finish me off Rio: That's EXACTLY what it means Rio: Hope you're actually back and not still on the plane 😂 Don't mile high without me Buster: Not trying to almost crash a plane and a car in such a short space of time Buster: Bit rude to take the plane down with how desperate you are to go down on me Rio: Gotta gain some self-control boy Rio: getting dangerous now Buster: Don't Buster: Self control is the ultimate cockblock Buster: No going back Rio: You reckon? Buster: Yeah Rio: Had to see Chlo yet? Buster: She's been trying to sext me Buster: So nah Rio: 😬 Rio: Oh honey, no Buster: If she had any game that'd be one thing but she ain't Rio: I can only imagine the levels of vanilla Buster: And don't bother 'cause whatever you reckon it's worse Rio: Ick, yeah I'll save my daydreaming for better, tah Rio: aren't you glad to be back in London town? 😂 Buster: Yeah 'course Buster: Fuck Dublin. Nothing there like Rio: Just decent craic and people, like Rio: but nah, the eye, cracking stuff that Rio: Please 😜 Buster: 😂 Buster: You not planning to visit then? Fine Rio: Can't really, can I Rio: Oh hi guys, just passing Rio: Plus, clearly need to keep a better eye on Indie Buster: Who knows who she might make a move on next Rio: She ain't even shamed, it's terrible 😂 she asked if you were into it Rio: took the liberty of saying no on your behalf so you can't say nothing Buster: Cheers Buster: I'd usually call you out but it's Indie like Rio: 😒 yeah, fight me on that one and we're gonna have trouble Buster: Hot as you are when you're angry, nah Rio: You say that now Rio: Wanna put it to the test? 🥊 Buster: Not yet Rio: Softie Buster: Shut up Buster: You know I ain't when I'm around you Buster: Can't say you've forgotten last night like Indie has Rio: I wish Rio: Can't stop remembering it, like Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: Then I remember how it ended, or didn't Rio: and I'm back to square one Buster: So much for the bathroom memories Buster: Holding Indie's hair back wasn't the one, like Rio: 🤢 Rio: boner killer if ever there was Rio: not, according to her but our vibe was DOA Buster: What? She got form at that has she? Nice Buster: Not my kink like but Rio: Coulda been in your mouth appaz Rio: Lucky you're tall Buster: Fucking hell Buster: Glad I left when I did Buster: Also not, you know but Rio: Yeah Rio: Probably could've left 'em at it and carried on Rio: but even my captivating charm has got limits Rio: 16 year old lads on one is not ideally how I want this going down Buster: Now you tell me Buster: Same though, unsurprisingly Rio: Just saying Rio: She'd never have known, messy bitch Rio: Too old for that shit, huh dad? Buster: Fuck off Buster: I ain't marrying you like Buster: The honeymoon would be worth it but couldn't hack the rest Rio: 😏 Whatever, you got the spawn to prove it Rio: Protest all you like Buster: The attitude's all yours though, ma Rio: Shut up Rio: Just 'cos you were too turned on to deal with the situation effectively Rio: 2nd time btw Rio: not that I'm counting Buster: Not my fault you're such a MILF Rio: 😂 that is so not my category Rio: friggin' cheek Buster: And it's not like you weren't, there was just nothing to prove how turned on you were to Indie and the lads Rio: Your word against mine, babe 😉 Buster: Yeah? Buster: I'll make you say it, trust me Rio: Wish you would Buster: Wish I could right now Rio: Fucking real life getting in the way Buster: Nothing but Chlo looming over me could stop me Buster: Trust her to be descending on my pad Rio: Big enough to hide Rio: just no seek Buster: My dad told her my flight info. Fucking traitor Buster: Can't even pretend I'm not back Rio: Awkward Rio: Feel that shotgun barrel between your shoulder blades? Rio: Meant to be her 'rents, not yours Buster: Don't Buster: Like yeah she said it was an emergency and she had to know, but how clueless is he Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: Clearly your Ma ain't as psycho as she seems Rio: Chlo's a special breed Buster: Christ. She really is Rio: Don't envy you at all Rio: my ex's antics seem ridiculously tame in comparison Buster: Have you heard from the latest? Rio: Oh yeah Rio: my own fault for repeating but truly opened the floodgates there Buster: Third time's the charm, ain't that what they say Rio: He's gonna magically get better, is he? Rio: I doubt that Rio: Indie reckons I gotta diversify anyway, hit that target demographic Buster: You could teach him Buster: Proper ma moves Rio: Some shit can't be taught, McKenna Rio: like not being a total twat Buster: Is he giving you grief? Buster: I'll sort it if he is Rio: Love a bit of chivalry, don't you Rio: Nah, he just is one, its nothing personal Buster: I mean it, Rio. Anyone is. Tell me and they won't Rio: You're cute Rio: I can handle myself though, you don't need to worry Buster: I ain't worried, just saying Rio: Shh Buster: You gonna make me? Rio: Such hard work, boy Rio: Give it my best shot across like Buster: You love it Buster: Always working like Rio: Got bills to pay 'til Indie can herself Buster: Keep the hustle going, babe Buster: I gotta run, Chlo's here Rio: Enjoy Rio: Tell her I said hiya Buster: Hey Rio: You're alive then Rio: How was it? Buster: Course Buster: Take more than her to kill my vibe Buster: How are you? Rather hear that Rio: You sure Rio: No shame in it Rio: She's...a lot Rio: I'm cool, getting ready for a shift Buster: It's my own fault, can't be crying over it, can I? Rio: 'Course you can Rio: Mixed reviews of judgment and lack of sympathy with the rest but I ain't gonna come at you with either Rio: better to rant here than to her, init Buster: Yeah Buster: Not like she'd listen but I'd know what I said Rio: So, still acting like she deaf blind n dumb then? Buster: About me and her at least Buster: I can't make it clearer Buster: Might have to fuck you in front of her, sorry like Rio: Steady on, like Rio: How has she got this far in life being so delusional? I blame the parents Rio: does she legit think she can gaslight you into a relationship like babe Rio: what's the idea here Buster: They don't stock brains in YSL Buster: I can't keep at this with her Rio: Its shit Rio: and you thought I played games Rio: got to find her breaking point with wanting you, but you can't go so far that she will try and withhold the kid from you as punishment Rio: gotta find the line before you can toe it like Buster: Yeah Buster: Never calling you a tryhard again, babe Rio: Definitely won't stick to that but Rio: happily let her take the title and crown Rio: maybe when her hormones quiet down she'll be better? ehh, comforting lie anyone? Buster: Maybe Buster: They better, I'm done with this shit Rio: Not long to go now Buster: All I do is wait now Buster: Sick of it Rio: I know Rio: Gotta let the kid finish cooking though, then you'll have Uni too Rio: it'll all pay off Buster: I know Rio: Try and enjoy your last summer of freedom, yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: No pressure Rio: Gotta get used to it Rio: May as well be now Buster: Cheers Buster: Feel so much better now like Rio: You want me to bullshit you? Rio: That's the life you want, right? Pressure is your rocket fuel, like Buster: I'm just playing Rio: Oh, then that's the spirit Buster: 😏 Rio: Such a headfuck Buster: Says you, babe Rio: I'm not having a kid, like Rio: we all almost made it to adulthood Buster: There's always one fucking it up for the rest Buster: Why not me? Rio: Why not Rio: probably fucked up some bets, won others Buster: I'll take that Rio: Defending my honour and taking the first bullet Rio: What a doll Buster: Like you said, chivalry's my thing Rio: If it works for ya Rio: Not complaining Buster: You're not complaining cause it works for you too Rio: Maybe Buster: Can't deny it, babe Rio: Can and will Buster: Not for much longer Rio: Promises, promises, McKenna Buster: You know I'll keep 'em Rio: You've gotta at this point Rio: Can't not happen Buster: Understatement Rio: even if its just once Buster: Can you handle that? Rio: If I have to Rio: try and be a good girl about it Buster: You've got as much chance of that as you have of ignoring me ever Rio: I reckon that's just a cover for how little faith you've got in yourself on that one Rio: 🤷 Buster: My word against yours, babe Rio: We both know the truth, though Buster: Yeah? Buster: What do you reckon Rio: I reckon we both know once ain't gon' be enough Buster: Especially if we do it right Rio: Dunno how else to do it, babe Buster: Good Rio: Why is it you always see the people you don't wanna out, like Rio: catch me 'changing the barrel' multiple times Buster: Which cunt is it tonight like? Rio: Every cunt Rio: Told you off for dissing but genuinely sick of Dubo atm Rio: every punter's a comedian, or reckons they know where Edie is but then gives fuck all useful information actually Buster: Come here Buster: I know you don't wanna leave her but we can still keep tabs the same Rio: I know you're right, what use am I actually being, like Rio: but Rio: Idk, it don't matter Buster: Tell me Rio: Well, I know she didn't mean it how she said it, 'cos she took it back straight away Rio: but Indie says I'm only sticking around 'cos I'm guilty, and when I feel better, I'll fuck off Rio: and I don't want her to think I don't feel guilty Rio: or that I'm leaving her Buster: Fuck Buster: It's shit that you had to hear it though Rio: I'd rather she said it than silently thought it but Rio: yeah Buster: You've got nothing to feel guilty about, you know that, yeah? Rio: Don't lie Buster: I'm not Rio: Right Rio: Well, stop being nice then Buster: Say it first Buster: You've done nothing wrong Rio: I can't, Buster Buster: You won't. Different thing Buster: You can Rio: I don't wanna lie Rio: in general but especially just so I kid myself Rio: what's the point Buster: It ain't a lie, babe Buster: I promise you Rio: Certainly didn't help the situation did it Rio: what I do, fuck shit up for the rest 'cos I can't keep my knickers up Buster: Shut up Buster: That's the lie there Buster: They'd be fucked without you and you know it Rio: Or I'd be fucked without them Rio: am fucked, let's face it Buster: Bullshit Buster: You're perfect, remember? Rio: Only when we're playing Buster: You know that ain't true Rio: S'alright Rio: I've had my bathroom breakdown, mascara barely touched, we're good to go Buster: One of these days you're gonna believe me Rio: Never Rio: but its fun pretending with you Buster: I've told you before, you're real Buster: And how good you look is too real Rio: Why can't you be a dick to me Rio: I'd know how to deal with that Buster: I don't want to Rio: Selfish Buster: Not when it proper counts Rio: Humble brag Rio: thanks for the heads up or this would be really awkward and disappointing Buster: Thrive under pressure, remember? Buster: No worries Rio: You ain't worried, I know Rio: Know you're no scared virgin with it Buster: Nor you Rio: One thing I ain't scared of Buster: Rio Buster: You can tell me whatever, you know Rio: Yeah? Rio: that part of the deal now? Buster: If you want Rio: I dunno, you'll have to handle the paperwork Rio: wanna distract you from the pressure, not add more Buster: Why not? Thrive on it Buster: And I ain't scared of nothing so Rio: Fine line, babe Buster: I can walk it Rio: You're so sure, huh? Buster: Yeah Rio: Shouldn't be surprised Rio: cocky bastard Buster: No arguments here Rio: Only 'cos you're Mr. Nice Guy all of a sudden Rio: don't be TOO nice, yeah? Buster: You wanna fight, babe 🥊 Go on Rio: Not exactly what I had in mind Rio: submission is more than willing, like Buster: It's not gonna be that easy Rio: Why not? You don't wanna give me what I deserve? Buster: I don't wanna just give you anything Buster: Where's the fun in that Rio: 🤤 Rio: that's the Buster I want Buster: How bad Rio: You still gotta ask? Rio: I do need to work harder to show you Buster: I don't have to Buster: Just want to Rio: I get it Rio: I'm nowhere near tired of hearing it either Rio: tired of it being all chat though fr 😒 Buster: I feel that too Buster: Soon, I swear Rio: Promise? Rio: To the point I don't even fucking care, if people keep getting in the way then they only got themselves to blame Buster: Yeah Buster: We've held back long enough Buster: Too fucking long Rio: Practically a saint over here Rio: and a nun Buster: You better not be Rio: Yeah, found Jesus in the time it took yas Rio: and he's a top ride, like Buster: 😂

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