#is turkey worth visiting

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 12

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If there was one thing no one would ever guess about FF it is that he unapologetically LOVES Black Friday.

You may be thinking. Ugh Black Friday. Everyone is so rude and tired. The deals aren’t even that good. It can turn into a blood sport at the drop of a hat over a toaster that is 15% off.

You are correct.

That is why FF loves it.

It is the one shopping day of the year where every single one of his instincts are correct, valid, and useful. He has pulled his gran out of the way of elbow drops, he has avoided the gaze of a woman in PINK sweat pants who was looking for someone to steal a blender from, and he knows without a doubt that the cashier hates him already so there’s no need to worry about whether or not they hate him.

It’s like a breath of fresh air!

Everyone is just as antagonistic and awful as he thinks they are!

Shopping is actually the blood sport he always feels like it is!

So there he is standing in a line at the nearest store (Target) waiting to be let in with the masses who all look ready to stab one another for better positioning for a TV. The jokes on them though because his only goal is the grocery section and he deals with the threat of repeated stabbings for BREAKFAST.

He spots an IHOP in the distance and hopes his gran doesn’t feel too lonely. They’ve gotten buttermilk stacks together at the IHOP by the mall for years after the two of them finished Christmas Shopping.

Someone elbows him in the side to get his spot in line but FF does not really care. Again, he doubts any of these people are going to be racing him to the all purpose flour.

It’s 4 AM and the barricades come down.

There’s a rush of people pushing and shoving but FF just steps to the side and watches as they all rush in. He’d mostly stayed in the line because the throng of people made it easier to stay warm. He had left his jacket back at the house because the five hour energy might be making his skin feel super sensitive but he is pretty sure that if he wore his nylon jacket he would die.

The five hour energy also may be upping his anxiety just a little bit.

He walks into the store at a leisurely pace and while the crowd fights over the carts he grabs one of the baskets. He can feel the eyes of other shoppers all wondering if he has some insider knowledge on a good deal that would only require the basket or if it’s a matter of who gets to the back to receive the ‘redeem’ coupon.

He sees a few shoppers get lured in by his siren call and much like a siren following anything that FF is about to do will undoubtedly lead to their downfall.

But FF doesn’t care about that.

He cares about HIS downfall.

So he makes his way to the grocery section and ignores the six different shopping assistants who try and guide him to where he ‘should’ be shopping and each of them only give him increasingly confused looks when he states his intention to go to the grocery section every single time.

Is it easier to ignore their stares when the five hour energy have set his baseline heart rate to something that might be too fast to register as a heartbeat? Maybe.

It is easier to ignore the confusion on their faces when he can see both the past (he asked for TWO favors from Andrew in one day how is he still alive???) and the future (still malleable at the moment apparently. There’s even a future where Andrew actually just is trying to make overtures of friendship but he dismisses that one as INCREDIBLY unlikely and looks at the far more viable one where Andrew at least makes his death quick while he enjoys his great gran’s brownies.)

It’s good to set reasonable goals for yourself.

So he arrives at the grocery section which is deserted aside from one employee who may or may not be asleep against a shelf. FF looks and….not a shelf he needs so he is not about to wake that poor man up.

So he gets everything he needs for his great gran’s brownies (he’s trying to buy his life here so he is not about to assume he can use ANYTHING in the house), the ingredients for a good breakfast (because he really needs to eat something that is not a five hour energy or sugar for the sake of his poor stomach and he may as well get enough for everyone), and (since Captain Neil mentioned it & he is trying to buy his life here) the ingredients to bake another pie.

While he grabs cinnamon he checks to see if they have grandma’s love in stock but, alas, it continues to be unavailable commercially.

He stares at the whipped cream for so long that the employee asleep in the other aisle woke up and asked if he needed help and, startled, he dropped it in his basket. “No I’m good.” He says before power walking out of the grocery department and deciding to brave the Home Goods section to buy some incense so that he can hopefully channel the spirit of his great gran to assist him in this, the darkest of his baking hours.

He arrives at the check out stations and finds the shortest line .

He can feel eyes on him, inspecting his purchases, judging them, judging him, who the fuck goes grocery shopping during the Black Friday rush?

FF.

FF goes grocery shopping during the Black Friday rush.

The cashier looks for hidden cameras but FF has no such thing accompanying him today or ever (as far as he knows.)

After a moment the cashier must look at the ever growing line and decide that whatever scheme they think FF is up to isn’t worth trying to figure out. They offer a membership card, FF valiantly declines to get one despite the two attempts.

He is out the door with four bags of groceries that all have a target on them that feels a little too correct. It’s 6 AM now (he really did lose a lot of time at the whipped cream section) and he’s walking back to the house in Columbia.

He actually feels a little bit better since he at least got to experience his actual favorite blood sport (sorry Exy) and he even got another 2 five hour energies while he was in the check out line so he could replace some of the ones that he had gone through.

“Smith?”

He would like to thank the combined weight of the groceries for keeping his feet on the ground when he heard Captain Neil’s voice.

He turns and Captain Neil is looking at him wide-eyed in his running gear that Smith has seen him in. “You were shopping??” He asks.

FF nods and lifts up the four bags as evidence. “Why didn’t you pick up your phone?” He asks.

FF almost scoffs but he doesn’t, “You can’t be distracted when you’re in a Target on Black Friday. That’s how you take an elbow to the eye.” He responds because it’s like Captain Neil has never experienced the WWE-like environment of Black Friday shopping.

Captain Neil blinks at him.

“Text Andrew or me next time you’re going to go off into the night or just let us know beforehand. Andrew would have driven you.” Captain Neil says and grabs two of the bags out of FF’s hand. “C’mon let’s get back and maybe you can get some sleep.” Captain Neil sighs.

“I’m fine.” FF adjusts the bags so he has one in each hand.

Captain Neil does not say anything so FF assumes that he has accepted that.

***

FF had not been asleep on the couch when Neil had walked through the living room. Neil, in a move that had Andrew fully waking up, went back to the room to check his phone to see if FF had texted him an update on going out. All that greets Neil is the impersonal series of texts that mostly confirmed when practice times had been changed, when the bus was leaving, and spelling on various Spanish words.

FF isn’t a big text person.

He’s more of an in-person kind of friend.

Neil likes that about him most of the time.

“What.” Andrew asks face still half buried in Neil’s pillow.

“Smith isn’t on the couch.”

That has Andrew getting up despite the early hour and their activities the night before. Neil watches as Andrew grabs his own phone to scroll through but seems to come up with the same lack of communication that Neil does.

Andrew does do the extra step and hit the call button.

But all he gets is the confirmation that the VM has not been configured that has greeted them every time FF misses their calls. (Voicemails make FF anxious so when he got his new phone he just…never configured it.)

Neil knew that FF was not pleased with them and somehow the calm request to either stop fooling around or let him out had hit him and Andrew harder than any of the screaming demands that the two of them were usually met with from Nicky, Kevin, Aaron, or any of the other Foxes.

“You said he wasn’t mad.” Neil says.

“He nodded.” Andrew confirms.

“Maybe he went on a walk?” Neil tries as they come out to the living room. They look at the front door and find that it’s locked but it looks like Aaron’s keys are gone. “He probably is going to come back if he took Aaron’s keys since Aaron wouldn’t be the one he’d be irritated with.” Neil rationalizes.

“He didn’t bring his jacket.” Andrew says looking at the black jacket still on the hook by the door.

“We can go and see if we spot him.” Neil offers.

Andrew nods and Neil heads out first since Andrew is still in his sleeping clothes and will need some time.

Neil had not expected to find FF walking back to the house with groceries for breakfast and the pie that Neil had mentioned hoping they could bake at the house.

“Is this for the pie?” He asks looking down at what was in the bags he was carrying as the walked back to the house. Neil managed to shoot off a quick text letting Andrew know that it was fine, FF just went grocery shopping.

FF just nods, “Got everything but Grandma’s love.” He says.

FF is a nice guy to brave the stores on a morning like this but FF also looks like he hasn’t slept a wink.

“Did you sleep at all last night?” Neil asks.

“I’m fine.” FF repeats.

Neil really is starting to understand his friends’ hatred for the phrase.

They get back to the house and Andrew is sat out in the living room. FF stops and blinks at the sight of him sitting there.

It is a well-known fact that Andrew does not willingly wake up early most days unless he has to. Neil is glad that Andrew has a friend that he’s coming to care about the way Andrew cares about FF.

Andrew gets up and yanks the bags out of FF’s hands. “Go to sleep. Today will be irritating if you’re half-asleep.” He says with a scowl and walks to the kitchen to put away the groceries FF had bought.

FF just looks at where Andrew had gone uncomprehendingly for a few moments and Neil figures he’s just tired. Neil feels guilty that him and Andrew messing around in the car like that had rendered FF unable to sleep and the two of them had agreed last night that from now on when FF is in the car they can talk all they want but hands stay on the wheel and eyes stay on the road.

FF is plopped down on the couch when Andrew and Neil come out of the kitchen after putting away the groceries (“These are the ingredients for brownies.” Andrew had noted as he put away melting chocolate.) and he’s looking through his flashcards again and not sleeping. He hears Andrew make a disgusted noise next to him and the next thing he knows Andrew is smacking the cards out of FF’s hands.

“Go. To. Sleep.” Andrew enunciates.

FF stares at him, then down at the flashcards. “I don’t think I can.” He says which is better than him lying and saying he wasn’t tired even if the truth had Andrew’s mouth stretch into a thin line that meant he was beating himself up for something.

“Try.” Andrew orders. “Just lay down and close your eyes. Nothing will happen to you while you’re sleeping.” He says.

FF blinks but nods turning on the couch and laying down. The blanket is still over on the lazy boy that Neil had set it on the night before and Andrew rolls his eyes before grabbing it and tossing it over FF.

“Thanks.” FF says before closing his eyes.

Neil looks to Andrew who nods and Neil accepts that there’s nothing else to be done for now and heads out on his run.

***

FF can admit that he’s a bit adrift in what Andrew and Captain Neil are doing right now.

He really should go grab another five hour energy because falling asleep IN FRONT of an irritated Andrew Minyard feels like a death sentence but “Nothing will happen to you while you’re sleeping.” And having a blanket thrown over him did not feel like a threat even if he can feel Andrew’s eyes watching him.

FF is tired and when he’s tired he tends to make stupid decisions. So FF lets himself drift off to sleep while the man who was likely going to move him to a secondary location sat and watched.

His dreams are not peaceful.

He’s running, can’t escape, an echo of words he should have considered before letting himself drift off and he knows he’s going to DIE.

He wakes up with a start to the smell of bacon, eggs, and hashed browns with Nicky standing over him. “Hey there sleeping beauty! I made you a plate!” He says and hands FF a plate of breakfast that smiles up at him with a bacon mouth, egg eyes, and hashed brown hair.

FF takes the plate and digs in immediately. He needs his strength.

“Today will be irritating if you’re half-asleep.”

Andrew Minyard was going to hunt him for SPORT.

NEXT

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As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly? (Cheesecookie whatever you did let me actually select you this time)

[kyreniacommentator]

Ankara Trip during Republic’s 100th anniversary

[fandomnerd9602]

Affirmation (🌶️)

Bambi!Wanda x Reader

Gif belongs to @percyderolo

It had been three months since the birth of yours and Wanda's little baby girl Natalie.

Life had settled into a nice little pattern of doing things. True you and your doe mate had lost sleep over the last few weeks due to Natalie crying at 3 in the morning but it was worth it.

The sanctuary officially was titled the Westview Hybrid Sanctuary. It was at Tony’s insistence that the place be officially named.

And with the birth of Natalie, your mate was placed on maternity leave from her office job at the Sanctuary. And so the job was filled for the last three months or so by a cat hybrid named Agatha Harkness. She was friendly and helpful around the office.

But Natasha had her suspicions. No one would cozy up that quickly to someone, especially you, without some motive. The air around Agatha was full of pheromones, not that you could tell.

Wanda could tell though. It started out as one lunch break visit to your office. Wanda brought little Natalie to see her poppa.

Agatha walked into the office with a bag of subway sandwiches. “Hey team” the cat hybrid smiled. “One pizza sub for Nat and one turkey and cheese for (Y/N)”

“Thanks” Natasha chimed, the hair on your wolf hybrid buddy’s neck was slightly raised.

“Hi there” Wanda spoke up, “I’m—“

“Wanda!” Agatha interrupted, “it is such an honor to meet you. You have been such an inspiration to me and a lot of the other hybrids!”

Wanda caught whiff of the pheromones practically oozing off of Agatha. She looked to you, a little suspicious. No one was gonna steal her detka from her.

“Well I gotta get back to my cubicle” Agatha said with a little smile before turning and leaving.

“Bringing you lunch,” Wanda’s tone dropped a little bit

“I gave her the subway card to go get us lunch” you shrugged, completely unaware.

Wanda simply smiles, hiding her feelings. Agatha was a little skinnier than her. Toned, fit, everything Wanda used to be before she had Natalie.

Natasha picked up on Wanda’s tone and guided her pal out of the office. “Don’t worry, Wanda,” the wolf intoned, “if Agatha tried anything I’ll rip her throat out”

“What if my detka doesn’t love me anymore?” Wanda’s mind wandered.

“Then make (Y/N) see that you haven’t changed.” Natasha’s tone became a little more commanding. “Put your detka in their place. You are strong, commanding, be sexy”

Sexy? An idea formed in Wanda’s brain. You would know who you really belonged to. Your doe was going to make sure you’d never forget.

Your work day came to an end. You walked past the courtyard to see Agatha chatting with another cat hybrid, she did have a thing for that particular one. You couldn’t help but smile. You wished her all the luck that she would find the same kind of happiness as you and Wanda.

You picked the boys up from school and made your way home. Made dinner for your little family. Watched TV. The nice little routine that you loved so much. You noticed the wheels in your mate’s head were turning. You tried to let her calculate whatever it was.

At the end of your evening, you tucked the boys in and turned off the lights. You saw your mate exit the nursery, dressed in only a bathrobe.

“Natalie’s down for the evening, detka” her eyes were darkened with desire. Her tone was dripping with lust. And with that she sauntered off to your bedroom.

You were practically a slave as you walked into your shared bedroom.

You were barely a step through your bedroom archway when she grabbed you and playfully shoved you to your bed.

“Wanda?” You chuckled. It was then you saw her serious tone.

“Who do you belong to, detka?” Her tone strong and commanding.

“You” you answered without a second’s hesitation.

“Are you sure?” She cocked an eyebrow at you, “I saw the way Agatha was around and I didn’t like it”

“Agatha is…”

Wanda silences you with a seductive shh. Her hands drifted to the tie of her robe. One yank and the knot came undone.

She took the edges of her robe and slowly pulled it off exposing her scarlet red set of lingerie. You hadn’t seen that in all its beauty for a couple months at least.

“I’m going to remind you who you belong to” she saunters over to you. She gets right between your legs and takes your face in her nimble fingers, “I’m in charge tonight”

“Yes my doe” is all you can say. She tugs at your shirt, you quickly pull it off. She tugs at your belt, kissing you fiercely.

She growls in your ear, “get these off”

You obey her. She pushes you gently onto the bed and straddles you, already grinding her hips into yours. A moan echoed through your lips, she put a hand over your mouth.

“We have to be quiet. The kids.” She gently chides, not even ceasing in her ravenous movements. A giggle escapes her lips.

You practically tore what she was wearing off, leaving her in all her untouched glory.

This was some new animalistic side of your mate. She galloped you, her eyes rolling backwards as you fell into a familiar rhythm and flow.

You missed this time with her. Being parents was amazing and all but you missed times like these: when you and your doe could be mates.

Little moans began escaping her lips, “d-detka”

She began turn over. You and her switched positions. You locked eyes with her, her more softer side reappearing. You gently took ahold of one of her antlers. Wanda giggled, she loved when you held one of her antlers.

You continued hitting every little spot that you knew would make her moan and cry in the best possible way.

She wrapped her legs around your waist, “don’t stop!”

The two of you went at it like you were wild mates again. Her cries mixed with yours. Her laughs entangled with yours as the two of you became one in the most spectacular, beautiful and profound of ways.

“I-I’m close!” She whines in your ears. You could feel the warmth and emotional energy building within you. “Yes! Yes!! Oh!! Oh!!!”

You kissed her softly, letting her moans be softened by your lips. You both hit it at the same time, your moans mixed in with hers as you tried to be sure the children wouldn’t have their sleep interrupted.

You pulled back and looked at her in amazement. You were sweaty and yet so satisfied. You could only look at each other in absolute amazement.

“Detka” she whispered.

You kissed her tenderly, “there will never be anyone else”

She looked at you in confusion for a split second, “and what of Agatha? She had pheromones all over her when you were-“

“She’s interested in another cat hybrid” you take her face gently in your hands. “Why would I look elsewhere? You. Are. Perfection. You are my love, my life, my doe, my everything. I love you Wanda so much.”

“I love you, so much” she cried as she pulled you into another series of gentle kisses.

Wanda giggles, “I suppose I didn’t have to be this forceful sexy goddess then”

“I like it” you chime.

“Really?” She giggles. “I might wanna keep it around.”

You and your doe share a laugh as you cuddle in one another’s arms. Nothing would ever make your eye wander from her. She was yours and you were all hers.

Tags @lifespectator @dudesweet17 @supercorpdanbeau @scarletquake-n7 @russianredassassin @revanshand @multi-fandom-enjoyer @olsenmyolsen @aloneodi @abimess @ab1nsur @softlymaximoff

[darkestspring]

Sometimes I wonder if you ever think about me the way I think about you.

with aegon x niece or sister reader please!

2k followers event | requests open

Maybe it would be easier if Aegon hated you as he hated your brothers. It would be much easier to just brush off the thoughts he always had of you.

He didn't care about Aemond, egging your brothers on to bully him without a thought and then stopping cold turkey when he saw your disapproving stare.

It hurt more any words, your disapproving stare as you guided your brother's away scolding them.

But that was then, he was a teenager then and he was a man now, just as you were no longer a girl but a woman. He still thought the same of you. Still yearned the same.

No amount of his mother's nagging or his grandfather's shouting could change his mind, he wanted you so badly that it felt like his heart was clawing its way out of his chest. It felt like if you didn't look at him or speak to him, he'd go crazy.

That's why in the several years you were aware after driftmark, he spent them drunk out of his mind or out in brothels, searching for girls that looked like you. But they were never the same and he ended up just giving up and keeping himself stupid drunk.

His every thought was consumed by you, you were drving him mad with your absence.

Come back, he pleaded drunkenly to himself, come back and soothe my heart so that I may be whole again. Take responsibility for what you have caused in me.

When you finally came back, wearing red and black, standing just a bit ahead of Jace, he felt like his breath had been stolen from him. It felt like finally all the fighting with his mother and protesting his farce of an attempted marriage to Helaena was worth it, you were back.

"Niece." His voice was smooth as he cornered you just outside of the chambers you were staying in for the remaining days of your visit.

"Uncle." Your voice was cool as you peered up at him through inquisitive eyes. "Someone might interpret this as something it is not."

"And what is this, niece?" Aegon tilted his head to the side. "Sometimes I wonder if you ever think about me the way I think about you." He whispered softly, thumb grazing over your bottom lip softly, eyes dark as he gazed down at you.

"Do you yearn painfully for me the way I do for you?" His voice turned almost raspy as he leaned closer to you.

You peered up at him almost studying him as you intently peered into his eyes. It seems you had found what you wanted in him that you cupped his cheeks softly with your hands and kissed him.

It felt like another fantasy, was he dreaming again because he missed you so dearly? He didn't care if he did because it was everything he imagined it to be.

He felt whole again.

[bloggingboutburgers]

this past week my qpp of almost two years broke up with me. and i know for you, you said you wouldn't necessarily feel heartbroken if your qpr came to an end, but for me, it felt more heartbreaking than some of my past romantic breakups. this whole thing made me wonder if maybe im not queerplatonic or aro enough to be in a qpr, or if id ever want to be in a qpr again. but seeing you post about your qpr gives me hope that queerplatonic love is something that i can experience fully. so thank you for always sharing your story, because that's what's helping me heal right now <3

Aah, to be perfectly honest, as much as I sorta "downplay" it compared to what it must feel for people who experience romantic attraction... I've had a time where I almost felt like I couldn't go on with my QPP as well and the sheer thought of it was really hard to bear too, so my words here aren't necessarily being very fair to the reality of things.

It was during the travel ban of March 2020 to November 2021 where citizens of my country and others weren't allowed to enter the US unless we spent 15 days in a country that wasn't banned. It made it much harder than usual to visit my partner and as it was nearing 2 years with nobody aware it was going on anymore and US people more concerned about whether they'd be able to have turkey for Thanksgiving, my hope was running really thin. So for a few days in mid-October, as I was at rock bottom, I was starting to write in passing to my partner about how maybe going on wasn't worth it because the separation was too hard on us, it wasn't showing signs of stopping, and the whole thing maybe wasn't worth the pain if they could live their life happily and not have to worry about me who couldn't visit.

And then we videocalled at some point, and when they tearfully told me that even if it did end then and there, they wanted me to keep the promise ring they'd recently given me, I suddenly felt a quiet rage in me going like "No. Fuck this. Look at them. I love them. And I love this too much to allow some cruel governmental decision to end it. If it ever ends, it'll be because WE want it to end. Not because of shit like this."

...I'm making it sound super dramatic but yeah long story short this is also a big reason why we're planning to get married. So that when the US government decides to put a ban on countries including mine again, they can't stop us from vibing together this time.

I guess... I still don't wanna 100% assume we'll be together forever because I don't wanna trap them in a situation they may no longer feel happy in. We're doing great now, but I still have it in the back of my mind that maybe someday they'll get sick of me (they say they never will and that'd be dope if they never did, but never say never and all), or we'll both just want other things, and if it ends like that, then... Yeah, that'd be alright. Much more alright than the way it almost ended.

(...Oh, and for the record, if a friendship of mine ended abruptly, or if my brothers stopped being on good terms with me, I'm pretty sure I'd be just as heartbroken, to be fair. And it'd feel like my reality was collapsing a little. I guess anything ending, any human connection ending, has that effect to a degree, if it's important enough, after all.)

Though describing things like that does make it a bit harder to define what makes it "queerplatonic" as opposed to "romantic", I still... Just have that feeling in my gut that it isn't romance, y'know? It's kinda... A mix between being close friends and being an old married couple without ever having gone through the grandiose passion-honeymoon phase. Maybe that phase IS what defines romance per se. I don't know. Maybe someday I'll find more answers, but it's kinda hard to find answers when you have no idea how romance works to begin with I guess 🙈

In any case... Sorry if I caused any confusion or if I made you question your validity. The thing is pretty simple to be honest: if you feel you're aro, you're veeeeeery likely to BE aro. Because nobody can make that call but you and nobody can name the relationships you have but you. And if amongst everything you even FOUND the words "aro" or "queerplatonic" in a world where those identities and types of relationships are so aggressively hidden or erased, then it's gotta stand for something.

...I guess at the very least THIS I can be certain of TwT Sorry I'm a bit messy about all of this myself, I'm still also going on about it trying to figure it out day by day, but I owed it to you and everyone to be honest. These things are hard to define and I hope to keep finding better and better words to do so someday. TwT

[rodolfoparras]

My brain is exploding

Gaz having male reader under him in front of the tree, telling him to stop squirming or else the ornaments could be hurt or broken but not even 5 minutes later it’s Gaz begging reader to stuff him like a damned turkey🫠

Significantly going crazee-🐁

Usually Gaz doesn’t get the chance to fly home during the holidays since he always ends up getting assigned some random mission.

However this time he actually manages to get some time off but he chooses not to tell you about it so that he can surprise you with a visit.

When Gaz told you he wouldn’t be able to come you’d been sad of course but you tried to enjoy the holidays anyways so you went out bought some of your favorite food and drinks and went back home again

When you walk into your apartment you don’t notice anything out of the ordinary until you go to your bedroom and see gaz laying on the bed with Christmas lights surrounding him.

You freeze in place, not expecting him to be here , and for a second you think that you must be imagining it all until you hear him chuckle and you snap out of your thoughts.

“What- i - how?” You say sounding confused as ever while walking up to him but he just smiles in response, whispering the words surprise before he crashes your lips together

“Not funny” you say in between pecks

“Worth it though” he mumbles against your lips.

“Mm - fuck what are you wearing?” You say trailing your hands down his chest, feeling the frail material of his lingerie under your hands.

“Your present” he whisper into your ear before he nibbles on your ear.

“Fuck me” you grunt out, feeling blood pool to your lower half.

“Oh I plan to,” he says as he flips the two of you around so you’re the one laying in bed before he straddles your waist.

This time you get a full view of the red lingerie he’s wearing, hands reaching out to touch him but just as you do so he clasp your hands together before tying them up with the Christmas light

“What-“

“Nuh huh im the one taking care of you tonight,”

“Oh is that right?” You say with a brow raised.

He just hums in response before he slots yours lips together.

“Alright then” you sigh out, relaxing into his touch “take care of me”

And take care of you he does, with a kiss here and there as he strips your clothes off, using his mouth and hands to push you over the edge multiple times before he straddles your waist and sinks down on your cock

He looks like an absolute sight with the Christmas lights bouncing off of his skin, lingerie barely staying on him, eyes squeezed shut and mouth agape as he works himself up and down your length

But it’s not enough for him and it’s clear to see.

“Come on, Kyle untie me” you say voice breathy and strained,”let me take care of you yeah?”

[unhonestlymirror]

I've seen meme made by @flashlight-sticker and I wanted to remake it based on my real life experience (with explanations):

1. Every Eastern European country is very good at cooking - but the first place is shared between Ukraine and Latvia.

In Ukraine, I recommend you to visit "Flagman" restaurants (expensive), "Dary morya" seafood store (affordable, may have delicacies like escallops or pike caviar by a pretty good price sometimes), and of course Silpo (used to be hella expensive but worth it, idk for now, GO BUY THEIR BUCKWHEAT BREAD AND PIZZA!!) and Puzata Hata cantine net (pretty affordable but very good quality).

In Latvia, it's Lido. Just go there, you won't regret it, the staff speaks English. They also have very nice dairy products and ice cream in Rimi shops. Latvia is fucking awesome at cooking, literally nothing's ever disappointed me there.

Belarus is also very good cook, especially when it comes to potatoes, ofc, but their meat and meat products are too extravagant for me... but it's definitely worth trying! People often bring chocolate sweets, birch juice and dark bread from there as souvenirs because they're pretty delicious, too.

Lithuanian food is also amazing, especially if you're a sportsman or student (someone who got used to burn lots of calories on daily basis). Biržų Duona bakery, Iki shops, Maxima shops, Lido shops, Charlie Pizza and Fokus Pizza (serve non-pizza nice business lunches), CAFFEINE - these are some delicious and affordable options, I don't go often to restaurants. Lithuanians tend to like pretty spicy hot soups (India's nephew, afterr all XD). My only advice to you: if you visit Lithuania and you don't feel like you're gonna drop dead if you don't eat something right goddamn now - DO NOT GO TO FAST FOOD POINTS. Literally go anywhere else but McDonald's, KFC and Hesburger. There are so many finger-licking options, don't waste your time on some average hamburgers.

Turkey is good at cooking (they're Ukraine's neighbours after all). Especially at local sweets and French creme soups. I recommend you katmer (sweet hot pistachio lasagna) and grilled seafood.

2.

Spain didn't impress me with its cuisine. 90% of tourists who praise it are Germans - and whatever Germans eat on daily basis would make any Eastern European miserable and depressed. In Spain, it seems like they drink fresh orange juice only, which is not bad unless you have citrus allergy. Then it's gonna be a serious quest, especially if you're out of funds (still water is more expensive than orange juice). Also, Jordan makes paella better.

Never been to Belgium so idk.

Never been to Bulgaria either but they're Ukraine's cousin so their food must be good. Thus, I place them higher.

Finland is Okay cook, definitely better than the rest of Nordics, so I place them higher.

France is pretty good cook, but even with their huge food diversity, they still don't have affordable good quality cantines. Some of them tend to close cafes and restaurants during lunch time?? Thus, I place them lower.

3.

Sorry, Greece, but never in my life I've been served with unpeeled deep fried microshrimps... Karavidopsiha is pretty nice, tho. Potatoes are meh. I recommend you to order fish and seafood. I usually order non-spicy fish because it's cooked really fast and it's hard to hide bad smell&taste in case it's rotten.

Literally every restaurant in the center of Rome!! will serve you with black-peppered pasta carbonara... In many cases, it's also not boiled enough - and in all cases, it costs too much for its quality! Wtf, Italy, that's your capital, the face of a country! You better book in an apartment with kitchen because small local shops have some nice fresh products which you will definitely have to cook yourself in order to stop being depressed. You also need to have a guide or a good old friend who lives here for a while, who can recommend you some nice restaurants (in most cases, far from the center). If you're a very rich& influensive guest visiting Italy, in ALL 5 starts restaurants, they're gonna serve you with Tiramisu (not bad, just keep it in mind). Also, DON'T order pizza here without a guide - better go to McDonald's.

4.

Hugary is good at cooking meat.

Egypt is good in everything which isn't European cuisine.

Switzerland has nice warm spinach bakery in Migros. McDonald's there fucking sucks!!!!

Never been to Canada and USA so idk.

Liechtenstein idk, Poland... overall has nice cuisine but almost every time it's a bit too burnt and/or oily to my taste. If you're from USA/Western Europe, you'll find it amazing anyway.

5. Norway trying very hard but still can't cook for shit. They don't even have salted salmon in shops, wtf! Vegetables and fruist costs like they're made from gold. Bakery's tasteless, but I give kudos for the visual appearance. My favorite pastime there became eating sugar substitute. Idk how non-fishermen live there, if I had to eat like this everyday, I'd hang myself.

6.

Germany is famous among Eastern Europeans for having really bad taste in food. They really believe pop tarts are delicious, and that coffee&croissant is a rich man's breakfast, poor guys... Every time I go there and pick a random cafe, I order a soup and it's ALWAYS inedible. If you can't even cook a normal soup, then what can you cook at all?... Bakery's also tasteless. They drink so much beer it leaves me speechless. McDonald's and Chinese cuisine will be your calm island in the middle of a stormy sea.

In UK, the only dish I remember as good was street food (fresh strawberries in chocolate). And they were made by Polish girls. Fish&Chips isn't even worth trying. Literally every country cooks better English breakfast than England. Just go to McDonald's, don't torture yourself/your family&friends.

[octuscle]

Hey there. I guess I need help with my chronivac. In my neighborhood there are more and more Arabic and Turkish men. It doesn't bother me that they are Arabic or Turkish or whatever. But they all look so extremely good - nice hair, nice beard, nice tan, nice bulges, extremely self confident... and I'm starting to get a little jealous, cause I'm a chubby, shy, white German (Alman).

Now the real Problem - the chronivac basic settings can't help me and the chronivac pro settings are way too complicated for me. So I hope you can help and change me to become less jealous in my neighborhood.

Okay, let's see how chronivac pro premium support can help you.

On your way to the subway in the morning, you usually grab a coffee to go at the kiosk in your ecologically sustainable reusable mug and buy a Süddeutsche Zeitung. But this morning you forgot your mug. So you order a Turkish mocha, which you drink directly at one of the bar tables. You also get a sesame seed curl and the BILD newspaper. For the first time, you talk to the owner of the kiosk. You've been a customer here for years. You take a second mocha and buy a pack of cigarettes. Fuck, then you're in the office half an hour later. Who cares?

You don't give a shit that smoking is not allowed on the platform. You blow your smoke onto the platform out of the subway and just throw the cigarette out onto the floor, while the doors are closing. And you snot right after it.

The work in the office pisses you off today. Boring chatter, unproductive meetings. During the lunch break, your colleagues are talking about Turkey's role in the Ukraine conflict. When you say that Erdogan is a great leader and that you would like to see more statesmen like him, everyone stares at you in disbelief. Fuck, that's right. Most heads of state are effeminate losers! We need more men who can thump their fists on the table. Like Erdogan and Putin.

You're glad when you can finally call it a day. You need a reward. Just normal people around you. You allow yourself a visit to the new barber store on your street. On the street in front of it a group of young men smoking. You have to wait only one cigarette length for a free appointment. You let one of the guys give you a light and smoke a cigarette with them. And then you sit down in the barber's chair. Can is an artist. You love the way he shapes your beard, makes your skull look more angular with the undercut, and trims your sprawling eyebrows. And he makes a damn good mocha.

When Can takes away the hairstyling cape, you're more than satisfied. Yes, to your brothers here, you're just an infidel. But you fit in quite well visually. Sure, most bros are better worked out than you. But you don't have to hide. It's just that you are so pale that annoys you. That's why you go directly before training on the tanning bed in the gym after the haircut . And so that the sweating is really worth it, after pumping up to the sauna. Hammam would be better, but there is no such thing in your discount gym.

It doesn't show that you are not a Turk or an Arab. And since you speak fluent Turkish, Arabic and Albanian, no one in the sauna would suspect that you have a German passport. Infidel! No matter what they think of you. The main thing is that nothing can separate you and your brothers!

[chrisevansonly]

𝑷𝒖𝒎𝒑𝒌𝒊𝒏 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒖𝒓 | 𝒎𝒂𝒙 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏

☁︎max verstappen x female reader

☁︎you know just how to select the perfect pumpkin, and it’s time your boyfriend learns how as well…

☁︎no warnings, very cute fall fluff!

☁︎my third fall celebration fic! thank you guys for reading and enjoying! it means the world to me!

October was the season for pumpkins, growing up you cherished the time you’d visit local farms and spend the days picking the best pumpkins for your house to decorate for the fall season. It wasn’t until you’d met your boyfriend Max that you realized there really weren’t any places to go pumpkin picking in Monaco. The city itself was filled with luxury in every aspect, which was beautiful but you missed your pumpkins and the fun of picking them in the fall.

“Babe you busy?”

Hearing Max’s voice grow closer to where you sat in the living room you smiled

“No, is everything okay?”

“Mhm just need you to back a little bag”

You looked at him confused, placing a bookmark between the pages of your novel and getting to your feet

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise you’ll see.”

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, laughing at the skeptical look on your face before he watched you disappear upstairs, returning after a few minutes with a little bag packed.

“Do I get a hint at least?”

“We’re flying to Munich, that’s all you need to know”

Before you could get another word in he was taking your hand and ushering you outside and towards the car, a smile on his face while you were dying to know just what he was planning.

Max loved the element of surprise.

-

“Can I look now?”

“One second”

“Max….”

His hands came up and untied the blindfold you had on, when your eyes adjusted to the light around you, the sight in front of you brought a smile to your face.

“You-what…? Max you brought me to a pumpkin patch?”

He nodded taking your hand as you began to walk towards the pumpkins

“I know how much you love fall and Monaco isn’t the most fall place for pumpkin picking so I just thought why not”

“You remembered…”

You paused looking up at him as he smiled, placing a gently kiss on your lips

“Of course I did baby”

Pulling him into a bone crushing hug, you couldn’t help the warmth that had spread through your heart at this surprise, to someone else it may have meant nothing, but to you it meant everything.

“So how about you show me how it’s done miss pumpkin connoisseur?”

If Max could replay the sound of your laughter on repeat he would, it was his favourite sound in the world. Watching as your eyes lit up before taking him throughout the rows of pumpkins, all which varied in size and colour, seeing you this happy was worth everything to him.

“Are you listening my love?”

Max hums, snapping himself out of his thoughts to see you standing there with a cart, a pumpkin already sat nicely within it.

“Sorry, what did you say?”

“I was saying, these are the perfect pumpkin, if they stay sitting when you place them down, the bottoms are flat, these are easiest for carving!”

He nods

“Then we have these ones-”

Pointing to a group of smaller almost gourd looking ones you looked back towards him

“These are more like gourds, so you can decorate your table with them, or make little crafts with them, I used to turn them into turkeys with my family”

Max couldn’t wipe the smile from his face as he watched you so vibrantly explain everything you knew about them. He remained by your side, pulling the cart along as you filled it with pumpkins of all shapes, sizes and colours, making sure to tell little facts about each one.

“Alright, I think we have enough…”

You checked over the cart once more frowning slightly at the amount you’d chosen

“What’s wrong baby?”

“I think I chose to many…”

Max took your chin in his grip softly, tilting your face up so you were looking at him, a smile on his face noticing the hesitation in your eyes

“You can never have too many pumpkins y/n, I brought you here for a reason, I think you chose the perfect amount”

“Really?”

Pressing a kiss to your lips he was quick to answer your question

“Really.”

There was quite literally nothing that could wipe the smile off your face as you took your pumpkins and paid for them, loading them into your rental car and knowing they were coming home with you. Never in a million years would you have thought Max would remember that little joy of yours from growing up, and today he exceeded your expectations, only making you fall more in love with the man who held your heart so gently.

“Thank you for my pumpkins honey…I love them so much..but I do love you more”

Max smiled taking your hand in his as he brings it to his lips to kiss your knuckles

“You’re welcome, I’d do anything for you, including spend a whole day at a pumpkin patch in Germany, if it means seeing that smile of yours”

You leaned over to kiss his cheek as you settled into the passenger seat as he pulled away from the fields of pumpkins

“I love you you just as much baby, I cant wait to see what you do with all of these”

Max was a little scared to see just how many pumpkins you’d picked, and what you were planning to do with them, but he would be more than willing to help you with whatever you’d started to envision.

He was dating a pumpkin connoisseur, it was in his boyfriend job description.

[turkeyblogblr]

Antalya Old Port, Turkey: Antalya is full of beautiful attractions that are worth visiting. Some of the must-see attractions include the Old Town, Hadrian's Gate, Antalya Museum, Düden Waterfalls, and Konyaaltı Beach

[dicenne]

November DWC 2024 Day 7 - Peculiar This is a bit of a combination story for @dicenne and @talonoa

Dicenne smiled brightly at the older man, “So what do you think?”

Talonoa crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in his chair as he considered the request. It wasn’t a terrible idea, celebrating Pilgrim’s Bounty here at their camp and inviting family and friends to Dornogal to celebrate with them for a day. Not everyone would have been able to go home anyways, and the city itself was somewhat safe at the moment. No worse than a lot of other major cities, at least. Their mages could portal people directly into the camp as well to avoid having to walk through the entire city to get here. 

Naturally, the safety logistics were at the forefront of his mind, always wanting to ensure his crew was safe and secure. With extra people he would feel extra on edge, but at the same time nothing had happened to them in Dornogal. The city’s perimeter was well guarded and he had become well acquainted with the surrounding mercenary camps. 

Seeing friends and family was always a morale booster, and a lot of the crew would likely appreciate being able to show their loved ones what their work was like. It also meant he would probably have to meet all these people and make pleasant small talk for hours. Not his strong suit, but he respected his crew, and by extension their families, and wanted to show it.

“Fine, but the rest of you get to plan the festivities and you need to keep me updated with every step. I will take care of the extra security needed, but if something comes up between then and now, we’ll need to cancel it.” Talon offered his own smile in return. It may have looked a little peculiar coming from him given he typically presented a blank or slightly vexed expression, but he also tried his best to be friendly and fair with everyone. 

“Thank you, you’ll have a great time, I know it.” Dice departed Talon’s tent with a skip in his step, off to relay the news to the others. 

He would need to get a head count of how many people would be coming, coordinate with their mages to get some portals out at specific meeting points, and suck up to their head chef so he could at least be in charge of the turkeys and other meats (he was very specific about that, after all). They would need extra food and drink, tables, chairs, a large tent, some music, decorations, and much more. It was a lot, but it would be worth it. Luckily, the long-time member of the Succulent Tart had ‘just a little’ experience in planning such events. He wouldn’t have been able to host his usual open house in Ratchet for the holiday for all the strays having nowhere else to go, and this was an excellent alternative. Kara had been wanting to come to Dornogal for a visit and this was the perfect opportunity for her to do so.

@themercenaries @karaamberlight @daily-writing-challenge

[sweetcheeksschemmenti]

“Halloweenie” Sneak Peek!

I haven’t written in a little too long, oops. 😬

Melissa x femReader, a haunted house, a Ren Faire, and a little too much mead.

Note: I’m from Ohio and our Renaissance Festival has a Haunt on the property (outside the gate) and you can get combo tickets. My recent experience kinda inspired this lol

Melissa walked hand in hand with you straight towards the haunted house. It was the one thing you’d been secretly dreading about this date. She agreed to attend the Renaissance Faire only if you agreed to visit The Haunt next door, too. ‘Something for each of us,’ she had argued. You reluctantly pinky promised her on the condition that the two of you attended The Haunt first so you could spend the rest of the day forgetting the horrors in order to prevent subsequent nightmares. As the two of you approached the intentionally dilapidated building ahead, your heart started to race and you gently tugged on her arm. She glanced at you, not noticing your expression, and continued on her direct path. The people screaming as they exited was enough to set you into a spiral. “Mel, please! I’m begging, please don’t actually make me do it,” you whined as your gentle pulling on her arm became more frantic. She frowned and stopped in the middle of the grassy walkway.

“Hon, you promised…” Melissa sighed. She turned to look at you and immediately recognized the anxiety in your eyes. The redhead’s frustration quickly turned into concern. “Oh Dolcezza, you’re really scared about this,” she stated, her voice softening. She brought her free hand up to caress your cheek gently in an attempt to help ground you before the anxiety completely took over. Despite the crisp Autumn air, your face felt hot and you were sweating like crazy. It could have been the layers of your medieval costume, but the slight shake in your hands pointed to other reasons. You nodded and wiped your free palm on your dress as you took a deep breath to try and calm yourself down. You swallowed hard before you spoke, “I’m sorry, Mel… I did promise. Just give me a minute to gather myself and we can go.”

She gently squeezed your hand and tilted your chin down to look her in the eye. “Y/N, why didn’t you tell me when we made plans? We’ve watched scary movies together and you were okay. What’s wrong? Talk to me.” She released your hand and wrapped her arms loosely around your waist. You melted into her, wrapping your arms around her as well.

“I thought I’d be okay, truly. I can handle scary movies just fine. I just… people jumping out and reaching towards me… I’m genuinely terrified. I just need a minute.” You took some more deep breaths and leaned your forehead on her shoulder. She gently rubbed your back and placed a kiss to the side of your head. She let you breathe for a while and once she felt you stop shaking she finally spoke, “Baby, we don’t have to go. It’s not worth doing if it’s gonna make you anxious. Your well being is paramount to me.”

You pulled away just enough to look at her; Melissa was stubborn, but so were you. Determined to keep your end of the bargain, you shook your head. “No, I want to be brave for you. Just… keep close and don’t let them touch me.”

Melissa squeezed your waist and pecked your cheek. “The scare actors aren’t allowed to touch you. The most they can do is chase you and jump at you. But, Dolcezza, seriously, I don’t wanna go if it does this to you. Let’s go enjoy the faire,” she said with a soft smile as she brought a hand up to cup your cheek again. “I know there’s a giant Turkey leg and some raspberry mead calling you name in there, c’mon.” Your girlfriend gently tugged on your arm and nodded towards the faire’s entrance. You, however, were cemented in place. She cocked her head and looked at you confused. “Y/N?”

With your head held high, you straightened yourself out and nodded towards The Haunt. “You were looking forward to it and I love you enough to be brave and face my childish fears.” Inwardly, you were still freaking out, but you’d hoped that she wouldn’t see past the face you put on. Of course, she did. The woman could read you like a book. She softened her voice further, it was now almost sickeningly sweet. “Your fears are not childish, they’re real and valid. Some scary things in life you’ll have to push through… but a haunted house? It’s really not worth it. And I love you enough to not put you through that,” She punctuated with a kiss to your lips. “Now, let this loyal servant spoil her princess at the faire. Please?”

[writeforfandoms]

Waking Lions 2

Find the series masterlist

Remember last chapter I warned you reader is bisexual? Yeah. Also due to her work, reader has multiple nicknames, and we see another nickname in this chapter.

This chapter may feel a little slower but we’re building up to good stuff, I promise! 

Once again, speaking in italics is speaking in another language. 

Warnings: Swearing, mentioned sexual activity, mentioned events from CoD:MW, spy shit. 

Word count: 1.8k

After your business in Turkey was concluded, you hopped on a series of planes to Mexico to go visit another old friend. This one very rarely gave you any kind of intel, but she was fun. So it was worth the trip.

Besides, you were craving good Mexican food. 

She even sent a few of her men to pick you up. One took your bags, another held the door open for you into the SUV. 

The royal treatment.

The drive was long and quiet. You weren’t overly interested in talking to the underlings, and she had likely warned them to silence anyway. That was one of the reasons you so enjoyed her company. She was smart. 

The car stopped, and you waited while one of the men hopped out and got your door for you. “This way,” he murmured in English. Your lips twitched but you followed him sedately. 

This time, she’d brought you to a very nice home. Not modest. Three stories, with a good-sized car garage. 

This one was new, and idly you wondered when she’d acquired this. 

“It took you long enough,” she called in Spanish, walking down the stairs as you entered the house. 

“You didn’t invite me for too long,” you shot back, smiling. As always, she was a vision, even dressed simply in a dark top and pants. “Valeria.”

“Marigold.” Valeria stepped down onto the entryway floor, walking up to you. “You changed your hair.”

You smiled. “Every so often,” you agreed. “Can’t let people get too used to one style.”

She chuckled, lifting one hand to trace one finger over the apple of your cheek. “When are you going to come work for me, hm? We both know I can make it worth your while.” 

“Not today, Valeria.” This was an old game between the two of you, as old as her rise to power. You may have helped her along some. For the right price. Information helped win wars, after all. 

She caught your chin between her thumb and forefinger, holding you steady, searching your gaze. Then she nodded once. “Come. Lunch is ready for us.” 

You followed her, unashamedly looking around. “This is a nice place,” you hummed. 

“I’m glad you like it, since you’ll be staying here.” She looked over her shoulder at you, amused. “For however long you want.”

“You are a temptress.” 

She led you to a table outside, already set for the two of you. This part was easy - you both enjoyed eating and flirting, with nothing of real consequence being said. She always tried to pry just a little more out of you, and you always diverted and redirected. This had been the game for as long as you’d known her. 

“I do have work for you, if you’re interested.” Her gaze was heavy-lidded, sweeping over you slowly, warm and familiar.

“Mm?” You leaned back in your chair, folding your hands loosely over your tummy. 

“I need to know what the Americans are up to.” 

You scoffed a derisive laugh. “The Americans don’t know what the Americans are up to,” you grumbled, waving one hand. “I’ll need something more specific to get you any good intel.” 

She leaned forward, hands on the table, chin tipped to hold your gaze. “I need to know how distracted they are.” 

You mulled that request over slowly, carefully. You knew her business. She’d known you long enough to give you free reign. Much like Laswell, Valeria knew you gave her solid intel. “Is there a specific department?” you asked cautiously. “Or a specific distraction?” 

“I don’t want them to have so much time they begin sniffing around my operations.” 

And that, well, that made sense. Didn’t necessarily make things easy, but it made sense. “I’ll need a few days.” 

“Standard rules?”

“Of course.” 

Valeria smiled. “Well then. Since you’ll be here for a few days…” She stood and took your hand, tugging gently until you stood as well. “I should show you to your room.” Her voice dipped, low and sultry. 

“You should,” you agreed, lips curving in an inviting smile. 

Valeria tugged your hand, leading you away from the table. 

This was one reason why you kept coming back. She just knew how to treat you right. 

The fact that she could deliver mind-numbing orgasms was a definite plus, too. 

Later, after Valeria left to do some business, you set up your computer. You’d promised to get her some information, after all, and that didn’t just drop into your lap.

Not without some prompting, anyway. 

Sources appropriately prompted, you turned instead to the news. It was always good to keep up to date on what was happening - kept you from accidentally wandering into too much trouble. It also gave you time to decide where you wanted to go next, after you got Valeria her information. 

The whole world was open to you, after all. 

Your research paused for dinner, and then you went right back to it. It had been a while since you’d been to Greenland, and you wouldn’t mind a quieter couple weeks. Then again, Africa had many choices and potential for quiet as well… Decisions, decisions. 

You blinked at your phone when it started ringing. Not that many people had your number. 

“Yes?” 

“Ace.” Laswell sounded stressed. Oh this could not be good. “I need a favor.”

“I don’t do favors,” was your immediate response. Because you didn’t. Mostly. 

But Laswell pulled out the big guns. She pulled out your birth name, the one you’d left behind years ago, the one she’d scrubbed from every system. 

You went rigid, swallowing hard. “Katie Kate.” 

“I need a favor,” she repeated, softer, gentler. 

You closed your eyes. Fuck. Fuck! “What do you need?”

“I need you to find someone for me. Cartel.”

“You know I don’t do names.”

“I don’t need a name, I need a location.” She paused and then pulled out her final trump card. “He’s working with Gray.” 

You stopped. For a few moments, the world faded to nothing but a pair of gray eyes. Then you swallowed hard. “Should have led with that,” you muttered, hunching your shoulders. “Who am I finding?” 

“Carlos Torres.”

“Fine. Am I calling you back with this?”

“No. I’ll have someone meet you.”

“No, not here. I’m not planning to be anywhere helpful to you for at least a week.” 

Laswell sighed, short and sharp. “Fine. I’ll provide you with a number for a burner phone, but you won’t get me, so behave yourself.”

“One of these days, you’re going to rack up debt, and I’m going to call it in.” 

“Not today.” Laswell hung up. 

You let your phone drop to the bed, heart pounding. Twisting, you looked out the window, suddenly feeling exposed and uncertain. Valeria ran a tight ship. She wouldn’t allow unauthorized people here. Not here. It was just your paranoia, you just needed to work it out of your system. 

A nice hot shower made you feel more settled in your skin. And screaming into your pillows helped. 

Some.

By morning, you were back under control, skipping down the steps to join Valeria for breakfast. You had no idea when she’d gotten back, but she was as immaculately put together as ever, and even greeted you with a kiss to the cheek. 

“Sleep well?” Her gaze lingered on your face. 

“Oh yes, the bed is quite comfortable.” You smiled, helping yourself to food at her wave. “You really are trying to tempt me into a singular living.” Your grin showed teeth, but it was all in good fun. 

“You already know that.” Her smile was a dangerous, glittering thing, a velvet-wrapped dagger. “How long will you be staying?” She switched to Spanish, pouring a drink for you. 

You shrugged. “Likely a few more days, at least until I hear back,” you answered in kind. 

She nodded once, looking thoughtful. “Do you need to be by your computer all day?”

You blinked, surprised. “No, I’m not expecting anything urgent today. Why?”

“I want to take you riding, see more of the area.”

You waggled your eyebrows playfully. “Riding, huh?” You switched back to English to load more suggestiveness into your tone.

She swatted your arm, light, playful. A teasing reprimand, but still a reprimand. “Well, if you’d prefer to be a brat about it…”

You held your hands up. “I apologize, you know I like to tease. I would love to go with you.” 

Her smile had the distinct flavor of a woman who was used to getting her way, and was not surprised when she got it yet again. “After breakfast, then.”  

Valeria kept you out all day, showing you around. Showing you off, subtly but definitively. Though she rarely introduced you, no fewer than a dozen of her men saw you with her. 

You were a little irked by her gall. A little turned on, too, if you were honest with yourself. 

But you still had mixed feelings when you saw that your people had gotten back to you with the information on the Americans. Laswell’s information hadn’t come through yet - if you didn’t hear back in the morning, you’d have to start leaning on people. 

Valeria thanked you for the information with a wire transfer and another orgasm. She also somehow got you to promise to stick around for another two days. 

You still weren’t sure how she’d gotten you to agree to that. 

It took another day before you got a location on Carlos Torres. You waited until Valeria was out of the house again attending to business before you called the number Laswell had sent you. 

“You have the information?” 

You smiled slowly. “Well, hello again, Captain,” you purred. “What a pleasant surprise!”

He sighed, short and sharp, on the other end. “Do you have the information or not?” 

“I do.” You pouted, just a little. “You sure know how to ruin a girl’s fun, Captain.”

The silence on the other end was pointed. Very pointed. 

So you gave him the intel, including last known coordinates. 

Captain grunted once. Apparently that counted as acknowledgement.

“And, Captain? You should hurry. He won’t stay there long.” You hung up without giving him a chance to reply. Sighing, you rubbed a hand over your face. 

Sometimes you wondered if you were getting too comfortable. And sometimes you just wondered about your sanity.

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

You’re writing is so good, just had to get that out of the way.

I’d love to see an x reader with Johnny where the reader goes with him back to Knoxville to his childhood home

Down Home Christmas

Y/N doesn’t know what to expect when Johnny asks her to go with him to visit his folks for the holidays, but she has a Christmas she’ll never forget!

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader

(Fluff)

1.6k Words

Warnings: Drinking, kissing, shit, play fighting

An: Thank you so much for the request and happy holidays if you celebrate!!!! So sorry for the wait but I thought this would make an amazing holiday special :) I’m sure we’ve all had experiences with family holiday parties, and this in part is inspired by my own whacky extended family! One of my friends suggested that I look to the film Four Christmases (2008) for an idea of what Johnny’s family may be like, so I’m sure you can see some of the inspiration there XD Anyway, thank you for the request and please keep them coming!

As you walked up to the front door from where your taxi dropped you off, the snow was painted rainbow colors from the bright Christmas lights strung about the house as powder crunched under your feet. Breathing puffs of hot air on your hands, you cursed yourself for not wearing gloves as you rang the doorbell. Oh, but it was all worth it when you saw Johnny running to the door like he was a kid on Christmas morning, all smiles. Throwing the screen door hard enough to nearly break it, he practically tackled you into the snow when he hugged you, burying you in the warmth of his arms, “Y/N, honey! M’so great to see you!”

He showed you inside the house- tiny, but god, was it packed. The place radiated this human warmth, the air swimming with smells of festive spices that made you practically drool. Holding your frigid hand in his, Johnny led you to the kitchen where those wonderful smells were coming from. As you squeezed past the people clustered in the front hall, Johnny gave you the rundown on a few notable characters you wiggled past, “Oh! That’s Aunt Dotty- her girl does pageants, Earl over there’s gotta taxidermy gig on the side, and Maureen’s the proud mom’a those five little maniacs out back playin’ with the ax.”

As the two of you stopped in the doorway, you ogled the heavenly spread of food on the table as your boyfriend called to a woman who stood at the stove, “Hey, mama!” She turned around and Johnny nudged you towards her a little, sounding so proud as he showed you off excitedly, “This is Y/N!” She turned away from the pots and her face just lit up, walking over to you and giving you one of those heart melting mom hugs, “Oh, my PJ’s finally gotta girl! I’m so happy’t meet you, sweetheart!” You were initially a little supprised- you weren't used to this kind of touchy-feely southern hospitality, but strangely enough, it didn't feel weird. It was actually pretty nice. Pulling back, she smiled teasingly as she noticed that look in your eyes, “What’s the matter? You're lookin’ like you haven't eaten all day!”

“That’s not it- I’ve just never seen that much food before. It’s just…wow.” The most your family ever did was maybe a turkey, nothing like the banquet this miracle woman had prepared. Johnny could’ve sworn he saw you drool a little. He chuckled, charmed at how enamored you seemed by something so basic to him, a grin spreading across his face as he handed you a plate, “C’mon, fill up, girlie!”

There were people sitting just about everywhere in the living room. Little kids clustered on the beige carpet around the Christmas tree with toy cars and dolls, parents and grandparents all had seats on the floral upholstered furniture talking sports or politics or whatever, leaving you and the adult children to fit in wherever you could. You and Johnny shared the seat in front of the oak piano at one end of the room with a couple other people sitting on the closed lid of the piano itself, all drinking and sharing stories together like a scene right out of one of those hallmark movies, only maybe a little less conventional.

“So that’s why m’cousin Dusty’s not allowed to show off his ‘talent’ at family gatherings anymore.” Johnny chuckled, taking a bite of his sweet potato casserole as the room buzzed with laughter. It was a wonder how he could make even the grossest subjects hilarious. Even you couldn’t keep from cracking up, placing your plate on the coffee table, “Hey, speaking of, d’ya know where the bathroom is?” Standing up, Johnny gestured for you to follow him, stepping carefully around people.

He led you down a dim hallway stopping in front of a wall when his eye caught something, “Hey, check this out.” Johnny took a picture off of a nail on the wall and handed it to you. Through the darkness, you could make out most of the general features. It was your boyfriend and he looked pretty young in the photo, maybe around high school age, but god, it was awful. “You actually had a mullet?” He broke out into snickers and you quickly followed as he tried to stabilize himself against the wall, his voice shaking from laughter, “I mean, business in the front, party in the back- It was nineteen eighty nine!” Once one of you caught your breath, your eyes would inevitably drift down to that damn photo and you would succumb yet again, the two of you laughing there until you had tears running down your faces.

Aunt Lynn excitedly passed you a tray of horderves- Ritz crackers with spray cheese on top- as you sat back down, “Oh, honey! You’re just in time!” Confused, you looked up to your boyfriend when he stood up with this little glin of anticipation in his eye as the people sitting in the center of the room cleared out, pushing away furniture to form a circle. A freckle faced kid at your feet took a cracker himself, making weird eye contact with you as he licked the cheese right off. Pushing aside all speculation, you shoved your cracker into your mouth. Not half bad.

Johnny stood with his stance wide and low at one end of the circle, starting up some friendly trash talk, “Hey, how’d your last tour go, Rodge?” Johnny’s cousin Rodger, the one that was a country musician, glared at him from the opposite side, “Yeah? Why don’t we talk about that last movie y’did?” Your boyfriend’s eye twitched and in an instant he was on him and the two started fighting like animals. Johnny had his hands around the other man’s neck as he swung his long legs up to try and pin him but his weight wasn’t enough leverage to take Rodger down. The whole room roared as a scene straight out of a backyard wrestling tape played out when Johnny was slammed onto the carpet, landing on his back hard enough to knock the wind out of him. On the side, someone started a count and Rodger leaned back, grinning as he held him down, “I think you lost your edge, Holl’awood.” Just as quickly, your boyfriend gasped, catching his breath with an exhausted smile. He slipped to one side and lunged forward with gritted teeth, throwing him into a headlock, “No way! You’re goin’ down, hoss.”

They went at it for maybe ten minutes and even you couldn’t help yourself from getting caught up in all the excitement, cheering and whooping with the rest of his family. “Ah! Uncle! Uncle!” Panting, Johnny tapped the ground next to him as a plea for mercy. You should’ve known- your boyfriend had a physique comparable to Gumby. Rodge pulled away with a smirk on his face, giving him a playful shove, “Always knew y’were a pussy, cuz. Love ya.” It was an oddly sweet moment between the two of them, even as Johnny sat up, coughing a little with a faint smile on his face as he got in one last jab, “Beatin’ me don’t mean shit. S’like beating a girl!”

And the night went on, with just as much laughing and drinking and bad behavior, but once midnight rolled around, people started peeling off. Johnny spent the later part of the evening clinging to your side, surprisingly sappy as he begged you to stay a while longer, “D’aww, c’mon…just one night won’t hurt.” Maybe you were more tipsy than you thought, judging from how nice that idea sounded. Sipping your rum punch- the one you got out of the big bowl with the ice ring of fruit- you giggled, laying your head on his shoulder,“I can’t…I gotta be at work t’morow!” You never knew your boyfriend to be a sentimental drunk but maybe coming home flipped some switch in him. Either that or you.

Johnny followed you like a lost dog as you got up to get your coat on, squeezing past the people trickling out the door, “But’cha gotta promise to call me, okay?” The headlights on the taxi you called shined bright in the darkness as it sat parked outside. You slipped your shoes on, “I promise!” As you were about to leave, someone stopped you in the doorway with a tap on your shoulder. It was of Johnny’s cousins. He grinned, pointing upward at the sprig of mistletoe hung above you, “Hey, mistletoe. You know what that means!”

“Yeah.” Your boyfriend chuckled, shoving him out of the way. Johnny looked down at you lovingly, wrapping his arms around you, his voice low as he nearly whispered an inch from your face, “I know exactly what that means.” Pulling you close, he dipped you, giving you a kiss like a soldier who just came back after the war. You didn’t even notice the cold that nipped at your skin as the onlookers inside whooped and hollered at the spectacle Johnny was putting on, kissing you with fervor, only pulling away an inch or two to catch his breath, the warm air between you turning into little puffs of white smoke as it began to snow.

[alittleflowerchild]

Sam takes Bucky back to Louisiana for Thanksgiving.

A Wilson family holiday has a certain warmth to it that Sam thinks Bucky could benefit from. Sarah is in charge of the majority but Sam helps her with the turkey - his sister is not great with the smoker and he'd rather not spend another holiday in the emergency room while she gets a morphine drip and referred to the burn center downtown.

Bucky eats three plates at Sarah's insistence and a helping of pie for dessert. By the time dinner is over, he's crashing hard. His eyes are barely open and he's dragging his feet to clear his place at the table.

Sam settles him on the couch with an old quilt and encourages him to sleep if he feels like he can. Bucky happily burrows down into the couch and let's the sound of the Wilson family lull him to sleep.

"Does he not sleep?" Sarah wonders when Bucky's nap is entering the third hour.

"Not well - getting him to admit he still has nightmares is like pulling teeth but..." Sam glances over at his friend between dishes. "He has some of the worst night terrors I've ever seen."

"Well, he's got eighty years worth of them. I don't imagine he's been allowed to sleep enough to dream until now." Sarah shrugs, touching Sam's shoulder. "From what you told me, he's got a lot of catching up to do. Maybe his subconscious does too."

"You a psychologist?" Sam teases gently.

"Actually I did minor in psychology," Sarah tells him. "I never told anyone because I mostly did it out of curiosity and fascination. If he's sleeping like this, he feels safe. His mind is able to relax."

Sam looks over at Bucky, tucked against the back of the couch, his face tipped beneath the edge of the quilt. His eyes are closed and he finally looks at peace for once.

"He's safe, Sam," Sarah murmurs, patting him on the shoulder. "Let him have this."

Bucky sleeps for three more hours.

His fourth plate is eaten while bleary eyes and a blank mind absorb a football game. He doesn't know the rules, doesn't care to know the rules, but he feels himself dozing off again to the sound of the Wilson siblings bickering over opposing teams.

He would wonder why he feels so safe with them but Sarah tucks him in and kisses his head like she does with her own boys and he can't really be bothered to care.

Bucky sleeps off and on for three days.

Sam gifts him that quilt for Christmas and Sarah promises to tuck him in and kiss his head for the duration of his visit. He blushes but...

His eyes grow heavy as soon as her lips find his forehead.

[katy-books]

I'm not having Christmas dinner this year.

I'm not into Christmas, but Christmas dinner is another matter. I love food. It genuinely brings me joy. I'm also vegetarian, and the only time I can get a fake meat joint is Christmas, so it's a pretty big deal. Sainsbury's are bringing back their fake gammon, so it was all planned out. Alternating slices of Sainsbury's fake turkey and the fake gammon, Richmond fake back bacon wrapped around M&S Plant Kitchen Posh Dogs, roast potatoes and fried carrot ribbons with Bisto gravy and homemade apple sauce from the tree in our garden. All my favourites. It was going to be perfect 😋.

I'm a little late to discover apparently that, back in October, M&S decimated their Plant Kitchen range. For the last few months, whenever I visited, the section was tiny and then it vanished. I asked and they said everything was now mixed together. Is utter confusion supposed to be good for business??? It took both myself and the shop assistant to find the single stack of vegan sausages among the entire isle of meat ones. They weren't the Posh Dogs, but this was a month ago and I thought I could just check another M&S. I went into two other stores and no Posh Dogs. If our shih tzu hadn't been ill we'd have gone to Scarborough (a nearly two hour drive away) looking for them by now. Today I decided to just order them online. They've gone. They no longer exist. Then I looked up their amazing fake pepperoni pizza. It no longer exists. Then I found the articles about what M&S had done. They had one of the most popular vegan ranges in the country, but they discontinued most of it and mixed what was left among everything else. I no longer have any reason to walk through their doors and I'm not having Christmas dinner. It was the only part of Christmas left that I enjoyed so if it's not right it's not worth fucking about with.

It's easy for meat eaters. They can eat what they want all the time. Vegans and Veggies get one Sunday roast style meal a year, and fake meat varies A LOT, so when we find something that's just right it's important. Since finding my favourite vegan/veggie versions of my formerly favourite meat products, I haven't missed meat at all. Not once. It's been four years, and today I miss meat. I miss just being able to walk into a shop and buy delicious food without checking for a V or a Ve on the packet. I miss not having to ask at cafes and bakeries where nothing is labeled. I miss eating in a pub and being able to choose from the entire menu. I miss not having to see the uncomfortable looks I get if I have to tell someone I can't eat food they're offering me. I miss spam and battered cod. I can't ever eat meat or fish again, but I'm sick of things being complicated. I shouldn't be considering a nearly two hour drive for sausages and pepperoni pizza. Guess I'll just have to stop caring about food. Tonight was going to be my favourite veggie burger with a Dairylea cheese slice, mustard and ketchup in a tiger bread bun. Now it's a plain cheese sandwich and crisps, because good food makes me feel sick when I'm annoyed or upset 😒.

Unless any shops suddenly start doing fake bratwurst, fuck Christmas. And I'll still be pissed off about the pizza. Enjoy your pepperoni meat eaters because I sure as hell can't 🙄.