#is so devastating. i always try to find some way to compensate for the different ways ive gotten more trouble speaking and expressing stuff

[unidentifiedfuckingthing]

i feel like its this universal thing that in like figuring out algorithms or understanding/explaining concepts i always.......... have the subject and object reversed in viewpoint and it turns the phrasing of the problem inside out. and everyone whos ever tried to help me work toward their right side out understanding of the thing just moves me further away from the objective truth of it. i LIKE math but being taught math was torture because at every level i got it wrong and was unteachable until/unless i figured it out from the ground up on my own. like i always grasp shit with the axes reversed and sometimes thats fine and sometimes it turns something trivial into an unsolvable problem and ive never even been able to isolate and communicate exactly whats going wrong for me and of course ive never been able to figure out how to just reverse the problem and see it the normal way

[oozedninjas]

How do you think the 07 boys would react if the reader died? Like in an accident or killed by shredder or sm? just food for thoughts

They say there are five stages of grief...

Leonardo will blame himself for it no matter how you die. Did you get sick? He's a ninja. He should have noticed the symptoms as soon as they appeared! Did the Shredder kill you? God, that's his worst nightmare. Because it not only means he failed as a partner, but he also failed as the leader of the team you belonged to. He couldn't protect you, and he can never forgive himself for that.

Denial

There must be some way to rebound it. His mind flashes from here to there, and Leo considers possibilities that in a normal situation would seem delusional. Could Donatello build a time machine? There must be some way to reverse it. There must be. It can't be that you're just... gone.

2. Anger

It's a sheer tough situation because even though he would want to fight recklessly, with no regard for himself, Leo has to be strong for others and continue playing his role as leader and older brother. So he bottles up his feelings; buries them deep until they slowly rot inside him.

When he faces the Shredder again, he notices that there is something different, and for the first time in decades, Shredder fears he may not win. I think Leo would also become rougher with low-ranked criminals, hitting harder than necessary. The terrifying part? It's always perfectly calculated.

Also, his brothers resent his anger during training because he becomes tougher and more demanding. However, it's only because Leo can't afford to lose anyone else. He wouldn't be able to bear it.

3. Bargaining

He should at least be able to compensate your family. Friends. Anyone who loved you as much as he did. Thinking about doing things for people who were close to you brings him a kind of comfort that appeases his anger. It's a way of trying to regain a sense of control over the situation and find a way to cope with his pain.

4. Depression

He'll never again feel the tender caress of your fingertips over his shell, the warmth of your lips pressed against his own, or the sweet melody of your laughter echoing through the lair. The realization grips his heart with an ironclad vice, suffusing his spirit. It's a devastating blow that rends his very soul asunder.

5. Acceptance

But you wouldn't want him to be sad forever. No, in fact, Leo is sure you'd be insisting that he needs to move on. It was okay to feel, to be upset and cry along the way, but it was time to get up. Master Splinter plays a very important role in how Leo slowly recovers himself. One step at a time.

Donatello: It depends on how you die, but I believe what could drive him insane is if he loses you slowly due to an illness. That would be his personal hell because no matter how hard he tries to change things, researching new methods, creating medications, even biotechnology... nothing seems to yield results. Isn't he supposed to be a genius? What's the point of intellect if it can't use it to save you?!

Denial

"With this cryogenic capsule, I can keep her body intact a little longer," he tells your loved ones, who stare at him, paralyzed by the desperation in his eyes. "I can fix this. I can- I just need more time." But a person is not a machine, and your loved ones did not allow him to experiment.

A machine! That's it! Donatello made a copy of your memory and some parts of your consciousness before your departure; perhaps he could put that into a robot and somehow... maybe with enough effort and the right wires...

2. Anger

It worked, and yet it failed miserably. This thing in front of him looked like you, sounded like you, shared some memories, and yet, it felt utterly empty. How could he insult your memory out of his own desperation?

Donatello smashed his Bo staff into the control center, piercing it completely. He trembled a little as he continued to hold it, buried in the circuits. That night there was a blackout in the lair, and all that could be heard from the lab was the grinding of teeth.

3. Bargaining

It happened to you, but perhaps with all the research and testing, Donatello could prevent someone else from going through the same thing. So, he decided to sell his investigation, using a pseudonym and a couple of computer skills made it no problem to do it all from the lair. For him, it's like gradually adapting to the reality of his loss through these small actions.

4. Depression

To think that a robot could replace you. What the hell was he thinking? Your scent, the softness of your skin, the beautiful way you looked at him when discussing a new discovery, that could never be replicated. The lab, like his heart, felt terribly empty. It was a feeling as suffocating as it was overwhelming: knowing that you would never be there again, that he couldn't see or hear you anymore. Suddenly, he can't breathe.

Burying himself in his work keeps his mind occupied. He doesn't need sleep; he needs to progress with the research. Donatello escapes from every little space that could allow you to somehow appear in his mind.

5. Acceptance

April helped a lot in this part, as she was the one who started bringing you into the conversation with positive things, and Don has small spaces to feel shared nostalgia. April feels the same loss; she understands, and that is extremely comforting.

Over time, the feeling of emptiness left by your memory transitions to a bittersweet sensation, and gradually he allows himself to move forward, remembering you with a smile, with a fondness that embraces him from the bottom of his heart. Donatello learned that every minute counts, and for that reason, he now makes space to spend more time with the people he loves, and who love him in return.

[andorstar]

Lol imagine if Tiso had a family

That would surely make his death WAY worse

Ha.... haha-....

Information (from eldest to youngest) :

Tara:

The eldest, 'nurse' of the family

She's the best at taking care of injuries and worries a lot about her siblings

She's peaceful and pretty fast, not really a fighter since she never liked the thought of hurting others

Always there to help her siblings in case they need her, such a good girl

Her 'bag' is filled with any kind of bandages to take care of different injuries, so she's always ready to heal a hurt bug

Tein & Tain:

As you might guess, they're twins

Both skilled fighters with such a savage battle style, similar yet different

They don't tend to get along most of time, yet, if they team up in battle they're worse than a hurricane

You'll barely see them interacting without arguing or fighting, yet, they can talk peacefully with each other if their siblings ask for it

Tase:

A bean capable of slashing you in two

She's joyful and humble, but once she gets into the battlefield there's no way to stop her, it's almost scary

But yet, she's always good when she's with her siblings, so don't make her mad by hurting them

Tote:

He's always training and kind of teasing his younger siblings, but he doesn't do it with bad intentions, you know, older siblings things

He's a good fighter and will protect his family without thinking it twice

When he's not training, you'll probably find him sleeping or helping his younger siblings on their training

Tori:

Not really a fighter, he rathers helping his family and not getting into violence

He doesn't have any fighting skills, but will try his best to fight for his family, even if it takes his life

His lack of fighting skills is compensated with a great intelligence, always finding a way to get out of different situations

Teal:

A warrior, lost his arm and got a scar on his eye by defending his siblings, yet, he's ok with it

Never afraid of coming into battle, and can bring death to any who tries to fight him

Even with a missing limb, he still got his fighting abilities, his speed, and his stealth, making him have advantages when it comes to the battlefield

He's a sweet boy deep inside, and he doesn't mind showing how much he loves his family either

Tare:

Lost one of their antennas by accident

They're not a fighter but a explorer

They're always looking around, looking for new places to visit and see

Once they find the right spot, they like to draw it and have it as a memory

This often gets them in problems because of not being able to defend themselves, so they tend to go with one of their siblings around

Trix:

A sweet girl, a ray of sunshine with a big heart

She's not into fighting either, but she can definitely finish some foes

If she's inspired enough, she will train with her older siblings to practice her training skills

She's full of love and will always show it to her family, helping, praising, taking care of each one, and being an adorable bean

She got no favorites at all, she loves them all by equal

Tiso:

Tiso doesn't even belong to me, yet, I can say some things about him with his siblings in this... (how am I supposed to call this.)

He left the colony in search of great challenges, which brought him lot of problems, like getting hurt and having to fight enemies that were stronger than he thought

Yet, having on mind everything that his older siblings taught him, he could manage to survive and reach Hallownest

He promised himself that he wouldn't go back to his 'home' unless he reachs what he wants, yet, even if he doesn't talk about it, he does miss his family.

This siblings thing adapt to the normal Tiso I draw AND to the Three Fools version

In case he died (and they somehow found out, probably went to Hallownest because they were worried) :

His family would be devasted, unable to believe that their little brother died in such a terrible way, crushed by a Mawlek, a dirty move from the owners of the Coliseum to throw it over him

The fighters of the family would get into the colo without thinking it twice, just for getting revenge

Even Tara would be alright with this, she knows that it won't fix anything, but if it can heal a bit the emotional damage of her siblings she won't stop them

In 'Three Fools' Au:

They would be proud of Tiso, so happy that he archived his goals, made friends, became a great fighter, a master, one of the three champions

Some siblings would train with him just to check how good he has get, and they never come out disappointed

They would also look for a place around to stay, so they can be close to their little sibling, due to the fact that they don't want to be so far from him

They all would probably stay in that one resting area close to the Wrym's corpse, becoming now their new 'home'

They would frequently watch the fighs, how Tiso and Lurker team up only for Tamer to show up once they're defeated (defeated, not killed), which makes them all pretty excited with every fight

They also take walks around Hallownest, in group so they won't get hurt in case that big opponents show up

If I get inspired, I'll do a list with some extra facts of the family, by now, this is everything I have

[theteej]

Seven Small Thank Yous

So much has gone on this year, but it’s very easy to forget the quotidian, the day to day experiences of building life.  And so to end this reflection on 2022, I wanted to thank six people (and a whole coffee collective) who invited me into day-to-day life, let me share joy and sorrow, hilarity and heartbreak.  I can’t thank you all enough, so I’m going to try to just say how much you meant to me this year in a few short paragraphs.

Debra Bass appeared at the most unexpected point of my life.  As I sat down to do a critical reading of my story for my first Vamp story showcase there she was, the only other Black storyteller.  We immediately did that one nod that Black folk do to each other, the one of mutual recognition, survival, and commiseration. Then we heard each other’s stories, and knew we had to be friends.  After Vamp Debra and I went on long walks, had ridiculous laughs together, and grew into that easy space that only true comrades can have.  Debra has an effortless sense of style that ranges from eclectic bohemian chic to effortless glamour.  Her locs are beautiful, her smile is radiant, and she speaks a mile a minute, her words only punctuated by wandering asides, observations, or critiques of the five words that came before.  Debra was the first real friend I feel I made after covid here in San Diego; she became my immediate ridiculous Black travel companion, because we’d both find that the other one was game for just about anything knowing we had company.  So we went to Jewish sabbath suppers, meandering art crawls, museum galas, and seasonal Black group exercise events.  We push each other to try new things—write new stories, try new art practices, examine unseen parts of ourselves.  I am also deeply delighted that she is the one who frequently wants to drive on our adventures; and I compensate by being the person that makes choices on anything from food or drink or destinations, as Debra is not super keen on making any decision that hasn’t been consulted for hours in advance like the quintessential Virgo she is.  Debra is not only brilliant, she makes me feel like I can meet any adventure head-on, as I have a friend and confidante.

Nick Dutton is an absurd human with excellent eyebrows.  Beyond that, he was my one of my students when I taught tenth grade Honors World History in 2007.  Fifteen years later, the two of us are peers; Nick is in his early thirties and trying to navigate what life means back here in San Diego, and I continuously reject the idea that I am his “Black Mr. Feeny” offering him continued life advice.  What started as a hilarious and occasional meet up has turned into a friendship that I genuinely appreciate.  Nick is hilarious and conventionally attractive in a slightly frat bro way, but he’s also a dedicated athlete who runs far more marathons than any human should, and manages to pull off some particularly devastating and clever comebacks and snark.  Nick and I have managed to meet monthly for the last year and a half, but 2022 became a year in which I cherished our get togethers.  We’d always try to find a different vegan place in San Diego, and I have grown to genuinely appreciate Nick’s honesty and thoughtfulness, and he puts up with my occasional teasing and snide rejoinders.  It’s a rare gift to watch someone grow from student to peer to friend, but my life is infinitely better for the silliness and joy Nick brings every time we meet over food without animal products and conversations with good cheer.

Arianna Haut may be one of the best things to ever have come out of winning on Jeopardy aside from meeting Alex Trebek and…you know, the cash.  Arianna and I met through the wider Jeopardy contestant community in 2021, but 2022 was where our friendship really came to shine.  She lives in L.A., and I’m often able to plan hangouts with her when I’m also up visiting my family.  More importantly, she’s someone I check in with daily, exchanging memes, anxieties, and general ridiculosity.  Having a friend who grounds you while also being utterly nonsensical themselves is such a gift, and I don’t know how to express enough gratitude for who Arianna is and what she does.  She’s a brilliant tutor and organizer, an amazing community member, and generous spirit. Some of my best moments with her have been laughing uproariously in the Museum of Jurassic Technology, eating the best tacos ever, wandering the gardens of the Huntington, or exchanging roughly eight million voice notes on facebook messenger.  She, more than anyone else, reminds me that I’m a tightly compressed ball of anxiety in a human meat suit---and that is OKAY.  There’s a depth and a kindness that I cannot fully encapsulate when I think about her and I’m endlessly grateful that she’s someone I can check in with and process and make sense of my life and vice versa.

Paul Binnie is an artist of terrifying skill, a Scotsman with a genuine mischievous charm, and a dear friend of several years.  But in 2022, he became a close and wonderful compatriot.  He joined me on long walks around town, we talked about anxieties, and we held forth on so many different topics each more fun than the last.  Paul has forced me to look at my body in new and incredible ways as he uses his keen eye to draw models, myself included.  He’s also done the impressive work of creating a community of drawing afficionados.  I look forward most weekends to attending his queer drawing group, and I’m incredibly grateful for the friendships I’m making among the people assembled there.  Paul does more than just sketch—he also draws people into community, and I’m very grateful to have been able to see him as part of my wider family in San Diego.

Mark Kurai has been my closest friend in San Diego since both moved back in 2018, and this past year was no exception.  We’ve worked together on art projects, survived the worst of lockdowns as friends and confidantes, but more than anything, Mark is simply there. There is an incredible freedom in knowing that you have a friend nearby that you can rely on to process shit, to vent, to go for walks or coffee, or just to exist with.  Mark is a quintessential introvert, and I could not be any further from such a thing, but he does the considerably difficult job of reminding me to be quiet sometimes, to sit and think, and to be okay with mess and discomfort.  In turn, Mark lets me cajole him or push on occasion, and I am so much more balanced for being around his creativity, his patience, and his discerning eye for dialogue or photographs.  The world is a better place with a comrade and friend like him, and I’m constantly challenged by the way he methodically thinks through and processes the world around him.  I can’t think of the year without picnics or cocktails or phone calls or muddling through life—his friendship is the most quotidian and constant and I’m better for it.

I’ve known Robert Valiente-Neighbours now for nearly two decades; hell, I was his best man in 2008 at his wedding.  We both left San Diego after that, but found ourselves back a few years ago, and our friendship continued with the strength unchanged.  Robert is deeply contemplative—there’s a reason he’s a Quaker after all—but it’s more than that; he brings a quiet and meditative strength to everything he does, from his gorgeous and evocative painting and sketching and collage, to his equally dedicated pursuit of fitness.  This year Robert officially got his license as a personal trainer and with his background in nutrition, and after he launched his business, became a formal consultant for me in my strange and continued relationship with my body and strength.  Robert is aggressively disinterested in self-loathing or body transformations so en vogue in “fitness journeys.”  He emphasizes mobility and strength, and joy.  His dark eyes furrow under his brows often as he looks at me with a soft smile and says simply, “so…what do you want to be able to do with this?” Robert challenges me to think about capacity, about joy, about hope in my body. With Robert, discipline is not a product of denial or abnegation; rather, it’s an invitation to think about new ways or relating to yourself and the world around you. I think freely with him about what I want to do when I eat or move, and why I’m doing it.  I don’t think about hating or changing myself, but instead, about inviting in joy.  Likewise, meeting with him as a dear friend is one of the deepest joys I’ve experienced. Robert asks piercing questions, but also asks the same of himself.  But more than that, Robert is the definition of praxis—when one’s ideals come into practical engagement.  Whether it’s working out or prayer, eating or movies, I’m encouraged to think about what every day looks like simply with my friend, and how to be more meaningful in it all.  It’s a gift and a joy.

It’s not every day you get adopted by an entire fucking coffee shop, but Mystic Mocha is not a regular café.  Helmed by the hilarious and kind Izzy—who bears more than a passing resemblance to an everyday Jason Mamoa, hence the ‘Jason Ma-Mocha’ moniker we give him—the crew at my local café are the best and kindest people. Tuuli brings sass and wit sharper than her brilliant catseye wings. Adrian, hilarious and wildly observant, is clearly a background character on the queer pirate comedy Our Flag Means Death.  Kendall’s wide-eyed kindness belies a brilliant mind. Alyssa offers nothing but joy and chaos in equal measure and invites us to celebrate with her.  Miko is a devastatingly talented artist and cook who radiates a constant cool that you can’t help but want to be around.  Each of these amazing people invited me into daily community with coffee and chats, smiles and vegan breakfast burritos.  I wrote them a postcard from Fiji, specifically because I missed them so much, and wore a long-sleeve with the café on it when I wandered Aotearoa’s winter streets.  They came to one of my story telling events with Vamp in October. They invited me to parties and get togethers, and insisted that I was part of their little community, and I cannot say enough how much it meant to me to be seen by some of the coolest people I know.  I still think how fucking lucky I am to have met people who are not only super cool in a daily café, but also want to hangout after work, and I can’t help but smile at feeling like I’m building a community with people I genuinely think are incredible.

[clouds-rambles]

Im not even gonna go anonymous anymore. Arghh asking for another request makes me feel guilty knowing you have an essay due so i'll just present you a little prompt!

Being immortal and outliving people you love, you know the drill. It must be sad and lonely. But you know what i feel like would be devastating? Just imagine Teyvat in a time loop. Meeting your friends for the first time, getting know them, hearing their plans and ambitions, sticking with them through dark times, falling in love... Reader just happens to be the one to witness all of it over and over and over again.

Don’t worry about it! I’m horrifically avoiding it right now. I’ll probably have some lunch and do some more of it after lunch. I’m talking about things I enjoy so hopefully it wont take up too much of my brain and we’re going to ignore the graphic novel I have to create in 2 weeks too lmao I’m a professional procrastinator

I have a bit of an idea with this so I hope you don’t mind it being platonic and with the Mondstat guys either. I’m going to reference a previous set of headcanons where you’re the leader of the winds. The two writings aren’t related relationship wise though.

Pairings; (Platonic) people of Mondstat x reader

Warning(s); angst

Keep reading under the cut!

You had done this cycle millions of times before. Before you even became the leader of the winds, when you were just a small spirit. Much like your friend Barbatos.

And while the archon of this land could sleep for thousands of years at a time you had elected to protect his people from the dangers that the god of freedom was too asleep to do anything about. And in fairness you can understand why Barbatos has been asleep many a time to avoid his brain contaminating with similar ideals to Decrabain. You can’t blame him really...

But you’re so horrifically lonely. And it’s not like you’re surrounded by an absence of people. In reality you often find yourself over compensating for your loneliness. Nights are often spent in the tavern conversing with mortals that you can’t quite understand.

You half wish you could ascend to Celestia, at least there you can be merry with fellow immortals and not have the constant threat of losing a friend dear.

You have known the Ragnvindr family for many generations. It’s not like they are hard to notice. Bright red hair and, more often than not, a sweet, bubbly personality. Not many of the Ragnvindr’s have been blessed with visions, but they all make their way through life the best way possible. And while they seem to show similar thought processes to the previous anemo archon, especially considering the fact they basically own the alcohol industry in Mondstat, and more recently Teyvat in her entirety. But when you see the family treating their employee’s so well and with a great wage you can’t help but think maybe humanity can move past the age of dictators. Or at least the humans of Mondstat.

The newest Ragnvindr, Diluc had always caught your eye. You had helped babysit both him and his brother while you weren’t busy reminiscing in memories of old mondstat and slaying monsters of your home. The air of change hangs heavy on the air when you’re around them, it seems like the winds you lead are trying to tell you something that you can’t yet decipher.

Until the day comes when you can. Seeing a broken, sobbing Diluc shut you out of his home not only made you sad. But, it infact reminded you that you shouldn’t get too close to mortals. For, like your friend Crepus’, mortal life is fleeting. 

You’ve seen many stories over the years, but there’s only so many times you can hear the same story before they all meld together.

Take Amber for instance, decided to become an Outrider because of her Grandfather. How many times had you heard that story? Someones grandfather joined the knights and inspired them? Too many to count. And as much as you want to remember Ambers story, you already know, like all the others, her memory will meld with the others. 

Kaeya’s story isn’t one you’ll forget quickly, especially when the deeds of  Khaenri'ah weigh heavy on your mind. Though you have seen a small handful of changing of alliance stories in your lifetime his is probably the one that’ll stick the most. Especially when the memory of him crying in your arms after the man he considered a father died. 

There’s this one young girl you remember from centuries ago. She reminds you of Barbara a lot. Carefree, loves the people she works for. Just this girl was born a few millennia too early. She was apart of the Windblume resistance alongside the bard Barbatos fashioned himself after. You had attempted to smuggle the girl out the fortress many a time yet she always wanted to help. 

Sometimes when you watch Barbara sing you can’t help but cry over a girl you considered your first friend after becoming leader of the winds. Barbara is under the impression that you hate her because of how you avoid the girl. But being constantly reminded of someone you couldn’t save in the end makes you so sad. You’re not sure how Barbatos copes with donning the face of a friend when you can barely look at the face of someone who reminds you of a lost friend.

Razor sits fondly on your mind. He reminds you of the people you did actually save in old Mondstat. You remember checking in on a handful of refugees that you had to hide in old caves and how easily they had climatized to foraging for food. Whenever you see Razor you’re reminded of another young boy who went missing millennia ago who was later found to have been raised by bears. 

Through the centuries you’ve become good at pairing up couples. You seem to be able to point out people who will later enter a marriage. You’re not sure if soulmates and reincarnation exists, but that’s your only explanation being able to point to couples so easily.

You wonder for an immortal like yourself would be blessed with a soulmate. Especially considering you weren’t originally in a humanoid form. Maybe there’s some thousand wind out there for you that you’ll never be able to meet and fall for because of this form.

Your mind stretches to Barbatos whenever you think this but you never let yourself linger on it for too long. Lord Barbatos doesn’t like commitment, and you’re very much content with that, yes sir. 

Your eyes often linger on Rosaria as you often ponder if she thinks she’s the only nun to have strayed from typical nun doings. You remember telling a small Rosaria tales of Decrabains nuns and how they helped with the resistance against the tyrant. You wonder if that’s what gave her the idea to stray from typical nunnery. 

You smile upon Lisa fondly, a bright young woman with aspirations as high as the stars. Much like Rosaria you remember telling a young Lisa about alchemy and sorcery. She had such a knack for it, and seeing the woman return after only two years of study was a little disheartening. But you’re sure there will be people after her who will have similar aspirations with better outcomes. It’s not unlike you’ve seen people scurry their lives away in the pursuit of knowledge. You can understand her want for a different life.

As much as it hurts you in the end most, if not all, the people of Mondstat have buried themselves in your heart. And like you have done countless times before you’ll have to move on from them once you’re dead, no matter how much it hurts. Your mind ponders to Adeptus Xiao of Liyue. He’s under a similar curse to you. The curse of being alone while being surrounded by people. You wonder if that’s why Xiao has distanced himself from mortals.

And as much as you feel like you should take a page out of his book, you find yourself falling in love with Mondstat’s citizens over and over again.

[barnibumblr]

No Secrets Among Sisters

Pairing: Ina x Lillian 

Summary: Following the incident in the bookstore, Ina confides in her sister about the nature of her relationship with Bea.  

Warnings: Just fluff! 

Word count: 2607 

Tagging: @ikingsley @kaitlynliaofanxx @kwaj115 @sheepmomther-personal @swimmingshoebakerydreamer

*** 

Ina knocks at the door, muttering to herself nervously “breathe Kingsley, just breathe”. Almost immediately a familiar voice rings out from inside, “coming!”.

The door swings open and Lillian stands on the step, smiling from ear to ear at the sight of her older sister. “Ina! Come in already, I was starting to forget what you looked like”, she teased. “Sorry Lil, I have been rather... Preoccupied”. She scolded herself internally as she stepped inside, ‘preoccupied?! Is that really all you could come up with?’.

The truth was that Ina had been avoiding her sister since the night at the Speakeasy and subsequently, finding out Bea was her student. The evasion wasn’t ignored. “So where’ve you been for the last three weeks? I thought you may have eloped for some illicit affair?” her sister joked, waving her hands dramatically as she headed for the kitchen. For a split second Ina froze, her mouth hanging wide open, she only hoped that Lillian’s choice of scenario was coincidental. ‘WITCHCRAFT’ she thought, ‘it’s the only plausible explanation’. Thankfully Ina had managed to compose herself when Lillian turned her attention back to her, “well?” she laughed.

Ina was no good at keeping secrets, the pair were close enough that Lillian would see straight through her and she was certainly no liar. There was a moment’s pause as Ina contemplated how to respond, she was almost consumed by the awkward silence when the youngest of the Kingsley women bound in to the room, “Auntie Inaaaaa”. Charlotte came running through, jumping straight in to Ina’s arms. “Oh how i’ve I missed these hugs” Ina exclaimed, whilst Charlotte all but squeezed the life out of her.

“Let’s get a good look at you” Ina said as she pulled back from Charlotte, turning her full circle and back to face her. Charlotte giggled as she went round, rolling her eyes as she lands back in front of her aunt. “Yes, you’ve definitely grown some” Ina concluded, eyes crinkling at the corners with the first heartfelt smile she had offered since arriving.

“Auntie Ina, will you come see my Lego? I’ve just finished building the Millennium Falcon!”. Charlotte was hopping on the spot in excitement, she really did take after her aunt when it came to her love of Star Wars. “I do really need to speak to Mummy a little first…” Ina started as she spared a glance at Lillian (who by now had stopped busying herself to listen), her attention was brought back to Charlotte when her shoulders visibly and quite dramatically deflated. “I have a mini Chewie?” Charlotte added, in a bid to sweeten the deal. Ina hummed, that’s when the young girl realised she needed to play her final card. ‘Is she giving me puppy dog eyes’ Ina thought to herself, internally appraising the mini genius, ‘oh god she is! Smooth move kid’. “You make an interesting offer little Kingsley” she finally answered.

Ina didn’t make a habit of saying no to her niece, she often felt the need to compensate for their lack of family, it really was just the three of them. That didn’t stop her milking it for what it was worth though, Ina convinced herself she was helping keep that super brain on it’s toes. “Do you think you could go get it ready and wait for me?” she finally caved, offering her pinky in promise. Charlotte smugly accepted before skipping back out the room.

Lillian moved to the table, “I’m guessing by your tone that I should probably sit down for this?” she asked. Ina couldn’t quite meet her sister’s eyes as she pulled out a chair “yes, that’s probably best”. Lillian shook her head, laughing silently “I knew something was off the moment you came in. You may have a PHD Ina Kingsley, but you are a terrible liar”. Ina finally looked up, “I am under no false illusion when it comes to my skills in lying” she replied, hands up in surrender. “However I really did think I had mastered the art of deflection!” She challenged, her expression mocking offence. “Not with me you haven’t” Lillian replied, pressing her lips firmly together as she slowly shakes her head.

“I’ve met someone” Ina finally admitted, turning serious.

“Ina! That’s great news, we should be celebrating? Why aren’t you happy?” Lillian questioned, eyebrows knitted tightly together. “Oh, make no mistake Lil, I am” Ina was quick to dispel that notion, sitting forward in her seat. Her eyes dropped back down, fixed on her hands, she twiddled her fingers nervously as she considered her next words.

Lillian focused on her older sister intently, giving her the space to continue. There were only two occasions she recalled seeing Ina this anxious, the first was when she came out to their parents, the second was when she helped Lillian tell them about the pregnancy. Neither conversation ended well.

The minute that passed had felt like forever and finally Ina continued, “I’m just not particularly sure you are going to approve of my decisions”. Lillian frowned at her accusingly, “I swear to god Ina, if you are sleeping with a married woman, I will disown you. You know how I feel about that. How you of all people should feel about that”. There it was, the conclusion Ina knew her sister would be jumping to, ‘two feet as always!’ she thought, huffing at the idea. “No Lil. I’m not, and will never be, the other woman” Ina spat, as if the words themselves were poisonous.”What then? Ina you couldn’t even play hooky at school, what could possibly be so bad?”.

Her wild imagination didn’t stop there, Ina would have almost found it comical if the situation wasn’t so dire. The older woman knew she should probably just come out with it, but it was so interesting to see where Lillian’s mind went. ‘Wow… I am a terrible person, this is not the time for subject analysis!’ Ina admonished herself, but it really was a force of habit.

“Is she serving time? Drugs? OH MY GOD… Please tell me it’s not a he?!” Lillian pushed, whispering the last part. That was it, Ina couldn’t stop the snort that escaped her. “Lillian stop!” Ina’s eyes were wide at the absurdities being thrown her way, although at this point she wondered if they were better than the truth. “For the record, absolutely not – on the males species I mean. Some things simply cannot be undone” she affirmed, a flicker of a smirk fading as quickly as it arrived.

Ina closed her eyes as if bracing herself “I need you to let me finish though. If I don’t tell you now I’m not certain I ever will” she pleaded, opening her eyes. She exhaled slowly, trying to steady herself and regain some resemblance of her usual composure. “She’s my…” Ina paused, summoning whatever courage she could from within. “She’s my student”.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Ina searched her sister’s eyes for a moment, eyes she knew well, eyes that mirrored her own. When Lillian eventually spoke, her voice was soft. “Oh Ina” she sighed.

The room was quiet, bar the ticking of the clock. Ina shifted uncomfortably in her seat, not really sure whether she should speak next or just leave whilst Lilian cradled her head in her hands. “Please say something” Ina breathed, “anything?”.

Lillian moved to prop her face on one hand before replying, “I don’t quite know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. This isn’t like you Ina?” she reflected, the disbelief evident on her features. “I know” Ina mumbled as she went back to toying with her thumbs. Another agonising pause left Ina rubbing her hand over her face, it was only then that Lillian noticed how tired she looked. In fact, this was a look normally reserved for a stressed Ina, the same Ina who wouldn’t have slept in three nights just to meet a deadline.

“Please don’t think for one minute, that I’m not already punishing myself for allowing it to get this far” Ina said as she met her sister’s gaze. “I know it’s inappropriate. Trust me when I say, I’ve tried to distance myself from her”.

“Clearly not enough!” Lillian immediately retorted. Ina winced. As much as it stung, she also knew it was true.

As difficult as she found the conversation, Lillian wasn’t about to let Ina off lightly. “Have you had sex with her?”. The question hung in the air.

“Yes” Ina simply replied, earning a groan from Lillian, who was now massaging her temples. “That was before discovering she was my student though” Ina quickly added, “not that it makes much difference at this point”. It was clear she had been berating herself enough, so Lillian eased off. “How?” Came her next question, much softer than before.

Ina leaned back her in her chair, relaxing only a little by the change of tone. “I was having a drink at that little speakeasy, when this young woman approached the bar. We only spoke briefly at first, whilst she was being served, but she was different. She had this air about her, she was just… Completely captivating!”. Lillian watched her sister smile fondly at the memory.

“Dare I say, I was devastated when she returned to her table. I was on my third old fashioned and feeling rather courageous, so I sent over a drink”. Lillian raised her eyebrows in surprise, it was’t like Ina to be so bold.

As much as Lillian tried to hide it, she was now fully invested in how the story would progress (she always was the soppier of the two). “Sooo? Did she come back?” she asked. Ina’s grin grew wide with triumph, “she did”.

“We must have spoken for a good couple of hours, it all felt so effortless. I knew I wanted to kiss her, but I wasn’t sure how I should go about it. I mean, I would consider myself a bit out of practice!” She chuckled, acknowledging her love life, or lack of. “Despite my earlier confidence, I just didn’t have the nerve. Thankfully that was something she wasn’t short of though, she seemed to pick her moment perfectly”. Ina started to rub the scar below her lip absentmindedly, as she recalled how they had shared their first kiss. The small gesture didn’t go unnoticed, nor did the light in her eyes as she went on. “One thing led to another and before I knew it, I was semi naked in one of the private lounges!” Ina finished in a rush. “I’ll spare you the details” she added, as a blush crept across her cheeks.

“So you really had no idea she was from Belvoire?” Lillian queried, her initial disapproval subsiding slightly. Ina shook her head, “I didn’t even know her name. I gave her my number but If I’m honest I wasn’t sure I would ever see her again. I was pleasantly surprised when she text me the next morning, and rewarded me with said name”. Lillian gave her sister an expectant look, “Bea” Ina breathed, answering the silent question.

Lillian could see the impact the young woman had already made on Ina, pushing her to almost feel sorry for her.

“Imagine my horror when I walked in to my first lecture the very next day, and Bea’s sitting three rows in”.

Ina explained that she had tried to stay away, but couldn’t ignore the connection they had. She joked how Bea might as well be living in her mind, rent free, only it wasn’t really a joke. Ina told Lillian how she had vowed to herself to keep things professional, however that was proving increasingly difficult.

Taking her older sister’s hands, Lillian prepared herself to approach the elephant in the room, the one they had both been dancing around for some time. “Ina, I’ve spent the last two years watching you bury your head in your career, helping you undo the damage she did”. Lillian paused as Ina interjected “you mean she who shall not be named?”. “Yes, Voldemort” Lillian replied, knowing Ina would appreciate her easing the conversation with some humour.

“You’ve barely been able to consider the possibility of love again, because of the pain she put you through. And the one time you do, it threatens to jeopardise the very thing that saved you”. Ina bit her lip as she gave Lillian’s words some real thought.

Lillian carried on “I know how much love you have to give and how desperately you want to give it. You have to ask yourself at what cost though Ina?” Before continuing, she stopped for a second to allow the message to sink in. “I want nothing more than for you to open your heart again, but you can’t be the only one making sacrifices. Especially not of this size, and not based on one night of passion”.

Although Lillian’s voice was one of warning, her eyes showed nothing but care. Ina pulled her hands away to wipe the tears that had to started to escape the corners of her eyes.

“I know you’re right Lillian. I have worked so hard for my career, I daren’t think about what I would do if I were to lose it”. Satisfied that she had highlighted the enormity of the risk (and that it had been understood), Lillian softened once again.

“You deserve the greatest love story of them all Ina. Do you really believe you are ready?”. Ina sighed softly as she thought about the prospect of some kind of ‘future’ with Bea. “I think she’s good for me Lil. In one breath she makes me nervous, but in the next she knows exactly what to say to put me at ease. She may be the cause of my turmoil but it’s like she is also the only resolution”.

“It’s wrong I know, but I can’t help wanting to explore this with her?” Ina said, running her hand through her hair.

“Okay enough of this” Lillian slammed her hands on the table, way harder than intended. “Here’s my advice Ina. You need to keeping working and keep it professional, as professional as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t get to know her though. If this girl really is interested in you, she will put in the work, thus giving you the chance to work out how you really feel. Then and only then, can you decide where your moral compass wants to settle and if you are willing to put your job at stake”.

Ina nodded slowly, mulling it over, however Lillian wasn’t done. “In the meantime, why don’t you speak to Sam? She’s had her fair share of work place scandals after the whole Dalton/Russo saga, she might be able to offer you some sound advice”.

“That’s actually a really good idea” Ina replied, “she won’t judge me either”.

“Exactly, it’s always worth getting a second opinion from someone who isn’t blinded by sex appeal” Lilian teased as she got up and made her way round the table. “Wait a minute, isn’t that exactly what happened…” Ina was cut off by Lillian pulling her to her feet and giving her a tight embrace. “It’s going to be okay Ina. Thank you for being open with me”.

Breaking the hug and holding Ina at arms length, Lillian laughed at her sisters pout. “Now pull yourself together, get upstairs and see my daughter. I can’t deal with two mopey Kingsleys”, she added with a wink.

“Thank you Lil” Ina said earnestly as she straightened herself up, “I don’t know what I would do without you”.

***

[imreallyhereforkataang]

I'm so emo over how Katara was the welcoming catalyst and guide in Aang's introduction to new time (impersonal), while Aang was the welcoming catalyst and guide in Katara's introduction to new space (impersonal).

However, Aang shared with Katara his own unique, characteristic time he knew from before the war began, while Katara shared with Aang her own unique, characteristic space she created from growing up during the war.

See, something I love about these two is how wholly receptive they are to each other. How they find mutual benefit in just being who they are, including who they've become in response to their environments, as they've both been unavoidably hurt and molded by their greatest tragedies, the different eras and climates they come from and their personal experiences surrounding the war.

Katara and Aang don't actively shy away from the difficult topics pertaining to their struggles. Their relationship doesn't prosper through trying to ignore the tough times, their grief and their anger. They see each other as who they are, with and without their pain, and they understand that pain. They understand how it affects their counterpart and respect how the latter reacts to it when they hit their low points. But that doesn't stop the former from reaching out in ways they see fit to the situation and their friend's particular needs.

But what's more than that is how the person who's hit their low point trusts the other enough to respond to these efforts. Despite their turmoil, they still hear and see each other and take into consideration what is said or done.

By misinterpreting Aang's coping mechanisms, some might find the way Aang behaves immature or childish or naïve, that his approach to life is critically outdated and unattuned to his serious duties and the current state of the world (a misjudger of time). Similarly, some might find Katara has grown from her trauma to be overbearing or bossy or haughty, that she oversteps boundaries and assumes other people's business is her own (a misjudger of space). But with the way Aang and Katara interact, the way they exchange their respective times and spaces, the truths these mischaracterizations take inspiration from mold into each other and create something unquestionably positive. They fill each other out, and it's like they're able to make the most out of how they've been affected by their pasts and present still. Because they accept and help and protect and teach each other, as well as learning together. Who they are and how they act is a welcome balance.

Aang and Katara's compatibility is especially distinctive to them. Person A is a unique fulfiller for Person B, and Person B is the only one who can be boosted in such a way by Person A, and vice versa. I've talked about this more here, so I'll briefly restate the relevant points:

Katara is an anomaly in that she lives in an age of bloody war and a lack of hope, yet she has an innate inclination towards idealism, maintaining a faith in something other than what is reflected in the environment she was raised in. She's a Water Tribe girl mostly isolated from the world, though that hasn't spared her from suffering devastating impacts left by invasions of her home. Even so, Katara is one of the few people who still believes in the Avatar returning, and when he does, he becomes the manifestation of her hope. He expands her space, taking her around the world, thus giving her the means to live out her dreams and take an active stance. But Aang also validates Katara's greater beliefs and idealism, showing her that, "yes, a better time existed, and we can remember it and still live it now," by being the Avatar, the Last Airbender, and Aang.

And then we have Aang himself, who comes from an environment of Air Nomads, though he is an anomalous Air Nomad in how strongly he values his attachments. Through coming into his own as the Avatar, we see that these attachments give Aang motivation, focus, and love for the world he's protecting -- and Katara is the focal point. Katara is an individually specific attachment because she is the tether that earnestly becomes Aang's new home in an unfamiliar time that she must teach to him, in war when he had only known peace; because she is his greatest supporter, who has always believed in him from before she knew him, and who knows him as Aang first. Katara is the person whose space Aang is most inclined to share his past and more recent grief in, and we see from his chakras how tied she becomes with his spiritual energy.

The way I see it, their trade is a reflection of their natural elements (which I'm happy about because air/water is criminally underrated).

Air is the element of freedom. The Air Nomads detached themselves from worldly concerns and found peace and freedom. Also, they apparently had pretty good senses of humor! 

Water is the element of change. The people of the Water Tribe are capable of adapting to many things. They have a deep sense of community and love that holds them together through anything.

For Katara, a cut-off, repressed, yet bright-eyed Water Tribe girl who's lost opportunities where she lives, lost her chances at a normal childhood, lost her mother and is separated from her father, who is worn by much more responsibility than a girl her age should put on herself, who better to revitalize her life than Aang? Aang, an Air Nomad from the peacetime Katara has only heard stories about, who creates joy and light-heartedness that is a trademark of his original time no matter the space he enters. A boy true to the good humor of his people, committed to intrapersonal and interpersonal peacemaking, and encouraging of Katara's goals. An Avatar who maintains attachments, and who is earnestly devoted to Katara and her happiness.

And for Aang, a well-traveled, worldly, young Air Nomad Avatar who's lost his familiarity, his people, his support system, his clarity and anchors, his guidance and home, who better to step into his life than Katara? Katara, a Water Tribe girl from the wartime Aang is destined to restore balance to. A girl who cultivates a warm and comfortable space no matter how difficult the time, who lovingly accepts Aang into her family, who is adaptive and resilient like her people and like how Aang must be now as he confronts his own realities. A believer who holds unwavering faith in Aang and supports him wholeheartedly, becoming his home and anchor in this new world and strengthening his overall connection with it.

That's all to say, Katara could use some playful, freedom-embodying Air in her life as Aang could use some nurturing, change-familiar Water in his. And this is true in times good and bad.

As well as that they clearly realize how important the other is to them in that regard.

Aang and Katara give each other so much of what they're missing, on grand and worldly as well as intimate scales that attempt to compensate for their losses. And that is why I'm emo, because it's so specific to their circumstances and the cores of who they are. No one else can do this for them so avidly and lovingly, and no one else is quite so grateful for, understanding of, and fulfilled by these gestures, thus fulfilling the giver in turn, as they may share some aspect of their pain in a positive way that brings joy and peace to them both.

[Image IDs in alt text]

[belit0]

@tinypaperwhispers​

Heyy! I love your blog so much, can't believe you don't have more followers!:o I wanted to ask a request, I didn't even see it on tumblr anywhere ever so i hope you'll like it:)). Could you do Madasaku and Izusaku headcanons?👀 both sfw and n*-fw. (I saw you also write about Sakura besides the Uchiha - i love these pairings💟) Thankks!

Thank you, beautiful! My blog is relatively new, so I’m growing by baby steps :) thanks for your support!!🧙🏻‍♀️🖤✨

MadaSaku [SFW]

These two had trouble getting along at first, just like two thick skulls! We know Madara for his awful temper, but nobody talks about Sakura’s as much as they should.

Being such a strong and independent woman, this kunoichi could never comply with the stereotype that this Uchiha is used to frequent. Having such a dominant character, he enjoys subduing others.

But when his path impacts her, everything takes a turn. She is not someone who will easily carry out his orders like anyone else, and this presents a challenge, something that intrigues him.

How did they end up together? Let’s say that, after the war, Madara survived, but his chakra paths were destroyed with the rise of Kaguya, so it is decided that he is no longer a threat, that he can be valuable to the village. Thus begins his rehabilitation, which Sakura has to take care of.

Before they realize it, they are dancing before a fire that grows between them, and there is no way to avoid it.

The relationship is quite balanced. Sakura compensates for all the mental health that Madara does not have lmao. No, but seriously.

Before his intensity, she is calm. In the face of his anger, she is the peace. In front of his tyranny, she is patient. They say that the opposites attract each other, don’t they? The best example is this couple.

Madara is a broken man, but Sakura helps him to recompose his soul piece by piece, to learn to love again, to see life with hope one more time.

He doesn’t trust anyone but her, so it’s not uncommon that their activities as a couple are all indoors.

Reading together in front of the fireplace with some tea, team cooking, cleaning the house together, training in the garden.

Because he was always very cultured, it is not strange to see him write down his knowledge on scrolls, which she then reviews and expresses her opinion on the subject in a lively debate.

Very occasionally, Madara accompanies Sakura to her work. Feeling rejected by the eyes of others about his person, he locks himself in her office until she ends the day, like a frightened cat in the presence of humans.

IzuSaku [SFW]

I have a very crazy idea of how this couple could have been formed, pay attention. After the final fight with Madara, Hashirama is aware that he is alive. At the same time, Tobirama finishes creating Edo Tensei. Both brothers decide that the only one who can make Madara see reason is Izuna, therefore, they revive him, and without manipulating him, they allow him a complete resurrection (breaking the Jutsu, as well as Madara in the war). They ask him to bring his brother to his senses and Izuna seeks him out to show him that he has come back to life. When he finds him (let us suppose that Madara developed the Rinnegan ahead of time and not just before he died) he believes that he is being deceived, and without being able to handle his new power yet, he sends his younger brother into the future = IzuSaku.

The Uchiha is upset, really upset. The one who killed him has just brought him to life, his brother is suffering and now he is in who knows where. But his bad predisposition changes when a pink-haired young woman appears in his sight.

What a curious, adorable, beautiful, and well-intentioned person. Sakura, her name suits him. Such beautiful eyes.

She is frightened by the symbol on his back, and it helps him to determine his situation. Time travel, change of periods. What a lovely woman, definitely her clan did not exist in the original time of Izuna, otherwise, he would remember such gorgeous features.

She decides to help him, and hiding him in her house is when their bond becomes closer.

Sakura had only interacted with one Uchiha in her life, and suddenly she cannot believe how affective the one that is now with her is. Love 24/7, the intensity of this clan is real.

Surprise hugs from behind, tender kisses on the neck at any moment, caresses on the face, arms, thighs.

Something that Sakura enjoys a lot is to comb Izuna’s hair after he gets out of the shower, usually, he falls asleep lying on her after a long time.

After a difficult day, he welcomes her at home with a good massage session, having become an expert in reading her body expressions to detect her mood.

Izuna lends himself as a test subject in Sakura’s work, he finds it very amusing. He loves to receive as much of her attention as possible.

When the kunoichi is working on a new poison, the Uchiha loves to sit near her workplace and observe her movements, her concentration, the effectiveness of her creation.

If Sakura has a very tough time today, Izuna refrains to make some tea for her and to support her with his company.

She loves the face he makes when she brings him sweets, after leaving work. His appetite for sugar… he’s like a child.

MadaSaku [NS-FW]

Fire in the room.

The fact that Madara no longer has a chakra does not mean that he has lost his unequaled strength.

Oh, but wait… Sakura has hers too.

The constant struggle for who dominates who, which brings a very funny dynamic when it comes to intimacy.

Sakura enjoys deeply when Madara holds her strongly against any surface, demonstrating his desire and need to be the one who leads.

The situation eventually turns around when she is too hot to his touch, and subdues him to her strength, forcing him to stay under her control.

This arouses Madara even more, who appreciates having a woman by his side who knows what she wants and fights for it.

Their sexual dynamics are overwhelming and devastates everything. Several tables had to be replaced after Sakura’s back hit them.

Madara had to fix different holes that he made in various walls with his fists while he held Sakura’s hips on his shoulders and devoured her pussy without mercy. The tugs in his hair that she supplies him with on each occasion make him lose his mind, and holding her in the air at his mercy pushes him to the limit.

Purple and greenish bruises decorate his thighs when she pays special attention to his limb with her mouth. Every time the Uchiha rushes his hips towards her face trying to get deeper into her throat, the kunoichi squeezes his legs, making he slows down and groans in pain.

Of course her aftercare includes healing the rudeness imparted upon her lover.

IzuSaku [NS-FW]

Thanks to being the object of research for Sakura, she is highly aware of all the visual abilities that Izuna possesses. That Sasuke was her partner does not mean that she knew the true extent of the Sharingan, the same applying to Kakashi.

The room of both soon fills with highly exciting and kinky games, where she is subjected to numerous Genjutsus from him, destined to make her reach her maximum pleasure peak constantly.

Izuna loves to capture Sakura’s glance during different moments of the day, trapping her surprisingly in his world of passion, making her scream until her body trembles in an uncontrollable way.

When he brings her back to reality, he laughs maliciously at the exhausted expression of the kunoichi, and carries her to the bed in his arms, where they both rest.

If Sakura wants to take revenge, she avoids looking him in the eyes and takes advantage of any moment of distraction to use the clear benefit that her strength gives her.

Sitting on his lap on the sofa, getting into the shower with him and pinning him against a wall, straddling him when they are in bed.

Izuna cannot fight her Taijutsu, and because the kunoichi learned to avoid his glance, he has no way of escaping the torture.

All that remains is to submit to the fiery touches with which Sakura enjoys teasing him, feeling his cock squirm at every touch.

Anyway, both also love soft, delicate, and romantic sex. They alternate their encounters between uncontrolled, passionate situations, adding sweetness and delicacy.

Feeling Izuna’s light kisses travel all over her body is something that drives her crazy, and while he pays special attention to her nipples, leaving slight marks, she massages her clit at a slow pace.

Before the sassy image of Sakura touching herself under him, the Uchiha cannot avoid imitating her, and moves his hand slowly over his member while he continues paying special attention to his lover.

When their bodies finally unite, the heat is too much, and it does not take them long to finish both at the same time. Their nights are eternal when they take their time praising each other in this peaceful way.

[mermaidsneedwater]

christmas with you | chapter six

series page

tag list: @yup-indecisive-girl-cece

Santa Tell Me

Weary of your previous morning, you and Mark had decided to play it safe and sleep separately.

Mark stirred on the floor, turning on his side and scrunching his eyes as the sunlight from the window streamed in. Unable to fall back asleep, he stood up and stretched his arms. Mark glanced at your sleeping figure as you snored softly.

You looked so peaceful, your face was the most relaxed he’d ever seen. Coming closer, he bent down to his knees to see you. He’d always known you were pretty, but seeing you know he’d come to appreciate how beautiful you were on the inside and out. Slowly, Mark began to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

Stirring in your sleep, your eyes slowly opened to see Mark inches away from your face.

“AH!” You yelled, sitting up in bed.

“AH!” Mark jumped back.

“Oh my god what the hell are you doing?” You asked. “Who gets up in someone’s face first thing in the morning?!”

“I- you were, it just… I should go.” Mark quickly stood up and left the room, embarrassed. “I’m sorry.”

As he shut the door, he stood with his hand still on the door knob. Mark knew it was getting harder and harder to keep this act up. Op

+++

“It’s Christmas Eve!” Dorine cheered happily as the Tuan clan had gathered at her house. “You kids know what that means! It’s time to write your letters to Santa!”

As promised, the rest of the Tuan family members had shown up at noon to partake in the family traditions.

You saw Joey groan as he whined to his mother “Mom I’m too old for this!”

“Nonsense.” She shook her head. “Everyone under the age of thirty is writing a letter to Santa. That’s our tradition!”

“Why does Tammy get to skip out on the family traditions then? She’s 29!” Mark pointed out from the couch.

“Because I have three children Mark.” Tammy rolled her eyes. “And they will be writing their letters to Santa, not me.”

The Tuan brothers glanced at each other from across and rolled their eyes. This family tradition was one word to them, lame.

“Y/N, rules are rules so you’ll also be writing a letter.” Dorine winked at you. She left the room and brought a stack of paper, stickers and markers. Setting them down on the coffee table in the living room, you watched as Kylie and Leila quickly moved to grab their materials.

Reluctantly, Mark and Joey went ahead and took a sheet of paper each before settling on the couch. Following their lead, you picked up a piece of paper and a purple marker before sitting next to Mark.

“How am I supposed to write a letter to someone that doesn’t exist?” You heard Joey whisper to Mark.

Frowning, Mark shushed his brother and pointed to the two little girls, happily scribbling away. “Dude!”

“Whoops.” Joey grimaced.

You tapped Mark on the shoulder and watched as his frown dissipated. “What do I write?”

Smiling, Mark told you, “Usually we tell Santa about our year and if we’ve been naughty or nice. We tell him our Christmas wish, and then Mom seals our letters and sends them to the North Pole. But I think she’ll let us keep ours.”

“Oh,” You nodded, holding back a giggle. Turning back to your paper, you began to write.

Dear Santa,

It feels a bit odd writing to you. Are you really there? Well, I guess if I really think about it, I already know the answer. I don’t know if you’re all-knowing like God or something like that but I was engaged three weeks ago and now I’m at my neighbor’s family’s house for Christmas. It is crazy how life can seem like it’s going in one direction and then do a complete 180 turn. What do I want for Christmas this year? Just one person in my life who won’t hurt me like everyone else in my life has.

Blinking at the last sentence you wrote, you folded your letter and peaked over at Mark’s page. Intrigued when you thought you saw your name somewhere in his letter, you were unable to confirm it as Mark covered his writing.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“I- I’m just trying to read your letter. This is harder than I thought it was going to be.” You admitted sheepishly.

“Well, look away, my letter to Santa is private.” He told you matter-of-factly.

“But I thought I saw my name in there!” You told him.

“It’s not your letter, so you can’t read it.” He insisted.

“Can you guys stop talking?” Kylie asked. “I’m trying to compensate.”

“Do you mean concentrate?” Joey asked.

Mark laughed before nodding and returning to his letter.

You sighed, rereading your letter, you crumpled up the paper and tossed it in the trash. Grabbing another piece of paper, you began to write again.

+++

You stood in the kitchen mixing the flour, baking powder, and salt together.

“Is this okay?” You called out to Dorine.

Grace came and checked in on your mixing, “It’s great Y/N, you’re a natural!”

Blushing, you smiled and continued to whisk the dry ingredients of the cookies together.

Due to the sheer number of family members involved in the Tuan family christmas, Dorine had explained that they baked three different types of cookies for Santa, Chocolate chip (for Kylie, Leila, Patricia and Grace), Gingerbread (for Tammy, Mark, you, and Raymond) and Sugar cookies (for Joey and Dorine). You had been tasked with making the Sugar cookies this year.

Dorine, Tammy, Kylie, Leila and you all stood in the kitchen preparing the cookie doughs and chatting amongst yourselves. You looked over your shoulder to see Dorine decorating the gingerbread men cookies with her granddaughters. The three of them smiling and laughing as they snuck bites of the cookies.

“You know Y/N, I’m going to be honest with you,” Tammy spoke up as she prepared a baking tray with the chocolate chip cookies. “I didn’t think Mark was actually dating someone.”

You prayed that the wave of panic that instantly washed over you wasn’t visible on your face “What do you mean?”

“Well I thought he just told my mom he was dating someone to settle her anxiety about him being alone for Christmas.” She explained. “I never imagined him actually being with someone. Seeing you two together is a bit strange.”

Unsure if that was a good or bad thing, all you could say was, “Oh.”

“Don’t take it the wrong way! It’s good.” She reassured you, Tammy rolled the balls of dough and placed them one by one on the tray “The thing about Mark is, he’s a loner. Always has been. And he likes it that way, it’s always been hard for him to open up to other people. But seeing the two of you together, Mark is a version of himself I barely recognize. He’s changed in the best way possible.”

“You think so?” You asked, your eyes widened.

“Absolutely. He’s more open, he seems… happy.” She told you. “Call it a big sister’s intuition, but I can see that he really loves you.”

“Oh I don’t know…” you trailed off, trying to come up with a way to switch the topic. You combined the butter and sugar with your dry ingredients.

“Trust me.” She said firmly, placing the trays of cookies in the oven. “If he hasn’t said it to you already he definitely will. It’s probably why he brought you home for Christmas.”

+++

The rest of the evening was filled with everything you expected with the Tuan family, love, food, and lots of laughter.

Eventually, everyone retired for the night in anticipation for Christmas Day. You kept your distance from Mark, still mulling over Tammy’s words.

There was no way Mark loved you. You were just his fake girlfriend, nothing more.

Looking up at the ceiling of Mark’s room, you quietly kicked off the covers and tiptoed past Mark. Quietly closing the door, you headed downstairs to make yourself some hot cocoa.

Attempting to be as quiet as possible you brought a mug down from the shelf and began to prepare your drink. Glancing at the plate of cookies on the counter, you decided to have one. Softly chewing the cookie, you broke it into pieces and dipped it into your cocoa.

“Are you eating Santa’s cookies?”

Startled, you whipped around to see who it was, none other than a half asleep Mark.

“Yes…” You trailed off. “What are you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep. I’m assuming you couldn’t either.” He told you casually. “Are you having hot cocoa?”

“Yes… Do you want some?”

Mark nodded and propped himself up on the kitchen counter. He watched as you prepared the sweet drink and handed him the hot mug.

The two of you made your way to the couch, sipping your drinks in silence.

“How come you couldn’t sleep?” He asked.

“I just have a lot in my mind.” You bit your lip. “I’ve been getting messages non stop from you know who.”

That part was true, over the last few days, you’d received dozens of texts from your ex fiancé. All of them begging you to come back to him.

“Oh. Have you been replying?” Mark asked. In his heart he prayed that you’d say no, that you’d tell him that you were over your fiancé.

“No. But it’s been hard.” You told him honestly.

He nodded, watching you silently. The two of you turned to look at the Christmas tree that was lit up.

“I want to do something.” Mark announced suddenly. He took the mug out of your hands and set it on the side table.

“Hey!” You pouted.

“I’m sorry, I can’t wait any longer.” Mark said, laughing at your reaction.

He walked over to the Christmas tree, bent down and picked up a neatly wrapped box with a bow on it. He brought the present to you and had you hold it.

“Shouldn’t we wait for everyone else?” You reminded him.

“I don’t care. Here, I want you to open my gift to you right now.”

You blinked, looking up at Mark as held the present “But Mark, I didn’t get you anything.”

“It’s okay, just open it.” He reassured you. Mark then knelt on his knees and watched as you tore the wrapping paper to reveal a black box.

Still unsure of what it could be, you slowly opened the box to find… a pair of ballet slippers.

You were at a loss for words as you stared at the shoes. They were without a doubt the most beautiful shoes you’d ever laid your eyes on.

“I know that you were devastated when you thought your dream was over.” Mark started slowly, “but I think you should consider dancing again, for yourself. You clearly still love it Y/N, your eyes lit up like nothing else when you told me about it. Dancing was your first love, and you never forget your first.”

Unable to form a coherent thought, you reached out and hugged Mark. Wrapping your arms around him, you felt a tear slip out and onto his shoulder.

“Is it okay?” Mark asked, suddenly unsure of if you liked his present.

“It’s perfect. No one’s ever gotten me such a thoughtful present.” You whispered between tears. “I love it.”

Satisfied with your response, you felt Mark hold you a little tighter before saying “I really want to see you dance.”

Wiping away your tears before pulling back, you laughed “I’m a bit rusty.”

“It’s okay.” He smiled. “That’s my Christmas wish.”

“Alright, I guess I can’t say no to that. I’ll try.” You gave in, unable to refuse his request. You took the shoes out of the box and began lacing them up underneath your pajama pants. Mark offered a hand as you stood up in the shoes, the feeling being so familiar and so foreign at the same time.

“You got it?” He asked, looking into your eyes.

You tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear and nodded. Taking a breath, you began to do a few simple steps from your routine that you could recall.

Mark watched with wonder as you gracefully moved across the room and twirled. It was as if you could float on air. Mesmerized with your movement, he hadn’t even noticed you falling until he heard you yelp in pain. Immediately coming to your aid, Mark helped you stand up again.

“You’re incredible.” He managed to say.

“No I’m not, I fell on my butt.” You said, dusting your shirt off.

“I really mean it.” He told you, still holding your hand. “That was the best gift ever.”

You held his gaze before letting out a small cough, “If you say so. It’s late, We should probably get back to bed.”

Mark looked at the time, trying his best to hide his disappointment, he replied “Yeah, it’s almost three o’clock in the morning.”

“Thank you for the ballet slippers.” You gave him a small smile before reaching up to kiss his cheek. “I love them.”

Mark’s eyes widened as he watched you quickly turn around and scurry up the stairs to the room. He put his hand to his face, feeling where your lips had connected to his cheek.

He would never say it out loud, but in that moment he could swear he felt his heart skip a beat.

chapter five | chapter seven

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Life After Snowpiercer: Adjusting To The Everyday Life

Summary- 5.4k Curtis Everett x You. The new way of life is becoming routine, and your starting to adjust. Curtis does his best to help you along. Warnings- swearing, hints of smut, talk of pregnancy. 

A/N- yea, it's a slower chapter, I suppose like a filler. But this was the mood I was in, so this is what happened.  

A/N2- To see the story behind the picture, read this short- Surprise

Chapter 10 / Masterlist

Slowly the new room was becoming 'Home', it had been a couple weeks since Curtis brought you to the room, and together you two cleaned it out of the personal stuff that couldn't be used, and you took the time to bring down yours and his few belongings. Since settling in, he brought you two a couple changes of clothing, and for the first time in years, you were able to give both of your clothes a proper wash. A few things were just unable to be saved, one of his jackets, you just couldn't salvage, but the other couple you could. Part of you wished you were able to clean out your bunk in the tail-end. But it was a days travel through the deep snow to get back to the car, and you couldn't bring yourself to mention it to Curtis, not when there was so much going on.

Maybe someday. 

But there was one thing you knew made it from the tail-end, cause Curtis carried it with him everywhere, and that was the slightly smudged charcoal drawing you commissioned back when you knew it was close to Curtis’s birthday before the riot, and you had seen him tuck it away when you two first moved in. So when you opened the drawer and it wasn't safely tucked in the folds of your few clothes, you felt your heart catch. “No, where is it?!”

Starting to pull out the items from the drawer, and shaking them out, your panic got the best of you, and you were searching among the bedding stored there when Curtis walked into the room to find you on your knees, looking under the bed, among all the stuff on the floor. “Baby, what is going on?” And he was shocked further to see you come out from under the bed with tears brimming your eyes. “Curtis I can't find it, and I saw you put it away.”

Confused, he used his boots to gently push stuff aside and squatted down next to you, gripping your chin to have you look at him. “Put what away Babygirl?” His brows are raised well above his beanie in concern and you sniffle in his hold. “The drawing of us, the picture. I could have sworn you put it in the dresser before your shower the other night, and now...” your hands pick up one of his shirts as if the picture will just fall out from underneath it. Curtis’s blue eyes snap in understanding and he lets you go, opening his jacket and pulling out a slightly bent out of shape paper.

“I got it right here, sorry Babygirl. I just usually carry it on me for safekeeping. I put it away the other day cause we were going to be working on the water, and didn't want it to get ruined.” He handed it over and your teary face turns into an uplifted one, careful when you took it. “Of course! Curtis, I don't know where my head's at these days. Everything is just... “ You sigh, and looked at him apologetically. You've been terribly emotional the past few days, and you've either been mad at Curtis or crying over nothing. Shaking his head, he grunted to move to a stand, taking your hands and drawing you up.

“It's okay, I don't need to carry it anymore.” He used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe at your cheeks. “What did you want to do with it?” You look at the picture and smile again, it simply made you happy and you pointed to a spot above the door. “Can you hang it up? Then this place can be officially home.” You held it back out and he took it, there was a lip of steel running along the wall just above the door, and Curtis arched to his toes to get high enough and set it on the beam, stepping back. “How's it look Babygirl?” His arm moving around your waist and pulling you in front of him. Letting yourself lean back against his chest while studying the picture sitting above your doorway, you tilted your head up to look at him. “Perfect, Welcome Home.”

It was so easy to make you happy, Curtis let his hands slide around to your midsection and just hold you there, kissing your tilted back forehead. “It is perfect.” He really couldn't remember when he had been happier, everything was going okay, the people were settling in and accepting this new way of living, the greenhouse was thriving, as well as the remaining animals that survived the crash. People were eating actual food, for the first time in 17 years, at least for the tail-enders. You actually we're coming around to more affection, although he would wake up to find you worrying yourself in the dark now and then, you were far easier to coax into his arms and fall back asleep. Assuring you that whatever happened, you two would deal with it together.

That was the last part, waiting to see if you were actually pregnant or not. I could see it worrying you, making you fret when you thought no one was paying attention. And Matt. Matt, Curtis was at a loss of what to do with that fucker. He was still locked in the Car they stuffed him in weeks ago. But you insisted on once a day walks with him, and Curtis to. There was no way in hell he was leaving you alone with Matt. Brother or Not. Speaking of which, Curtis knew what was coming and you turned to look up at him, the question in your eyes.

“Can we go see Matt now Curtis?” you worried your bottom lip, always seeming to be nervous to ask, although he never told you no. Today was no different, kissing your forehead.

“Only if your up for it Babygirl.” He said with a bit of hesitancy, simply cause not even 20 minutes ago you had been in a full panic. But you nodded with affirmation, and grabbed at your jacket, and stuffed a hat on your head since usually you all went outside for the fresh air and sunshine, although still bitterly cold. So many years in the dark, you especially couldn't get enough of the sun. Curtis would find you often standing outside, lips blue with your eyes tilted into the sun, seeming to soak it in. The man pictured you soaking it in, light was drawn to light. Why you were drawn to him, he didn't know. Leading you down the aisle, his hand resting in the small of your back.

Snapping open the heavy door between cars, you leaped over the gap, and worked Matt's car open, and light spilled into the darkness to show Matt leaning against a wall. One arm hooked over his knee, lifting his head to scowl at the two of them, you went in wringing your hands and smiling hopefully. Curtis right behind you, a dark imposing figure scowling. The complete opposite of your hopefulness. “Hey Matt, how you feeling today?”

Matt snorted and tugged on the heavy livestock chains around his ankle. “Fucking fantastic Dear Sister. Living the fucking dream.” Curtis snarled out while digging for the locks keys in his pocket and handing you off a knife for protection in case Matt happened to overpower him. “Cut the shit, Matt. She didn't come here for you to be a little bitch.” Cutis squatted down and yanked his leg into the light enough so he could see the lock. Matt seemed to somber a bit. “Been better Y/N, thanks for asking.” His hand moved to his now bare ankle rubbing at the red ring. Curtis stood and reached to grasp Matts forearm, bringing him up to a stand.

This was ritual by now, You and Matt walking ahead just a little, Curtis not far behind. Close enough that should Matt try to put a hand on you, Curtis would snap your brother's neck. It was a promise he made to Matt when you first started this. Otherwise, Curtis didn't interfere with your conversation. Most of the time. Your hands were stuffed in your sleeves as you trudged along, your voice optimistic, hopeful that Matt would engage back. “The greenhouses are really thriving Matt, they survived the crash intact for the most past. A bit of the pipework bringing the water in got damaged, but we've been regularly melting snow to compensate.”

“You think You all will be able to keep up with that? Eventually, the water is going to run out. Without the train moving anymore, it's not gathering any to store in the tanks.” Matt smirked as if he was dropping some devastating news, looking between you and Curtis.

“Were keeping a close eye on the tanks, and only using that for stuff absolutely necessary. Everything else... well we're covered in snow.” You kicked at the Frozen snow covering the ground. But he was right, eventually the water would become an issue, just like the power. The whole train was temporary. Eventually they will have to move, see if they can find something more suitable for the group on the outside of one of the cities. Of course, they were estimating where they were on the tracks. Curtis, Edgar, and John having dug through Wilford's main car a few weeks ago and came across maps. If their estimations are right, they were somewhere in what was once Russia.

A massive landscape staring at the map. But dotted with cities. All Curtis had to do was convince the council that packing up a small scouting party and seeing if they were near any of the major cities, it would mean more supplies available to them. They had to get off the train, all its resources were going to run out eventually. Wilford never prepared for the Snowpiercer to ever be at a standstill. These worries were settled at the back of Curtis mind, but these walks with Matt, he was sure to remind them of it. Even you sobered a bit after Matts little jibe.

“We will deal with it when it comes up Matt.” You wanted to reach out, staring at Matt. God, he looked so much like your father, just not the coldness. Your father always so welcoming and open, Matt though sniffed either from the cold or distaste to your answer. “Well, we were able to deal with it till your man insisted on crashing the train. We would certainly not be stranded in the middle of fucking Russia. Couldn't have planned that a little better Curtis. Crashed us somewhere with resources at least? But you never think ahead, do you Everett. Always just brute Force and no couth, is there anything between those ears?” Matt hissed at him, his rage crossing his face once more.

Once more he got the best of your temper as he was bad-mouthing Curtis for those few seconds before Curtis could put a stop to Matts ranting, you pushed against your brother's chest, sending him sprawling in surprise. Curtis actually had to hide a chuckle of surprise himself, but you were furious and snarling at your brother. “Jesus Christ, your just... Cruel all the time, aren't you. Fuck you, Matt. Curtis, I'm done.” You turned away and brushed past Curtis, in which he shook his head, and went to collect Matt, grabbing him by the collar of his jacket and pushing him forward. “Ya know, you would think you would learn to at least treat her decent since shes the only one who gives a shit about you and why you're still alive.”

Matt snorted as he trudged back through the snow, following your quicker paced form as you reached the outskirts of the camp once more.

“Maybe it's time she grew up Curtis, quite thinking that any of us are out for more than ourselves.”

“Well your certainly proving that to her aren't you,” Curtis growled as they to reached the outskirts of the camp, the snow here all pounded down from people walking on it all day long. “When that day comes and she gives up on you entirely, what do you think is going to happen to you?” Curtis said darkly, and Matt eerily grinned. “Be the day I end up going free.”

“We will see about that.” Curtis pushed him back up the stairs and into the darkness of his car once more. Matt plopped on the mattress while Curtis went to lock him back up, Matt watching him closely, and to the open door, debating. Curtis even though he wasn't looking at him knew his thoughts. “Try it and it won't end good for you Matt.” Wait, we got to wait... The younger man thought, instead getting himself comfortable. Their guard won't be up forever.

You just had to get away, even managing friendly conversations was out of your wheelhouse right now, and you stomped back to your room, and slammed the door behind you as if you were a child all over again, grabbing a pillow off the perfectly made bed this morning and sitting on the edge of it, you screamed into it. What was it going to take to get the meanness out of Matt?! You have done nothing but be good to him short of letting him go free, had even managed to get Curtis to reluctantly agreed that if there was any change, they would see about giving him a bit more freedom. But nothing you tried softened him. Nothing. Ripping off your jacket and hat, you shoved them away into the chair when you sat down, and you just suddenly felt drained. All over, like it all just seeped from you.

Sighing, you lift your hands and rub at your face, glancing up at the picture hanging above the door. That made you smile, thinking back on earlier when Curtis hung it up for you. Maybe it's not all bad, and you shrug off the negativity being around your brother brings on you. Changing into something not as warm, you decide the best way to spend the rest of the day was helping in the greenhouse, and maybe the kitchen. Things would be okay, you were doing more than surviving, you all were actually living.

When you left the car and headed towards the greenhouse, you didn't even glance at the car that held Matt, giving it a wide berth, entering the greenhouse, immediately the earthy smell the plants gave off was as good to you as feeling the sun on your face. A musty heaviness of dirt, greenery, and water. All over the labors of the past few weeks showed with healthy trees bearing apples, bright and red. Green sprouts of leaves down rows and rows, all edible. Even now one of the people who worked the kitchen was picking bundles, piling them in her apron. “How do you know what is ready?” You asked, wandering down the aisle while piling your hair behind your head and trying it off.

“Easy child.” The older worker said, holding out a leaf that was full and vibrant for you to take. “Go ahead, taste it.” You ripped off a piece of it and slipped it in your mouth, when the tender leaf crushed between your teeth, vibrant fresh bitterness flooded your mouth, your taste buds still getting used to food. “When these bunches are all full like this, it's meant to be picked.”

“What is this?” Unable to help yourself, you ripped off another piece and chewed on it, getting the same overwhelming effect from before. “Kale. I will sautee this just a bit in some marrow, and put it in a soup for the camp today. Shave off some of that meat off a hock in the freezer, add those new baby potatoes we have at the end.” The older woman continued on, bringing you to where the rows of potatoes were hidden from view, her fingers digging into the dirt and dragging up the bulbs, shaking the dirt off them. “We get enough of them, and you have yourself a meal.”

You dug your fingers into the moist wet dirt, the sensation oddly familiar and weird, bringing back memories of planting flowers with your mother in the front of the house. The woman watched her with interest, taking in your reaction to it all. “Yer from the back, aren't ya?” You nodded slightly, and carefully brushed off the dirt encasing the baby potatoes. “Yes, one of the tail enders who came up with Curtis.”

“Ahh, yes. Thought you looked familiar. What your man did letting us go took a lot of guts, not many would have that. Trust me, very few of us have much to thank Wilford for or have any reason to give him loyalty. My name is Tess by the way.”

“It was touch and go, but it was the right thing to do. We can't start living a new life following the old ways.” You shrugged and Tess smiled at your words, her wrinkles lining around her eyes deepening.

“Like hearing wisdom come right out of the babes mouth. I could use your help if you don't mind. Getting this camp fed is a couple people process, It's my turn to water but I got to get this all started up. Feeding all these people is a lot different than just cooking for Wilford.” She continued placing potatoes in her apron. “all-day process, and the only way we don't burn through what we got stored. You mind watering for me?”

“Be a pleasure to.” You assured her and you took over where she had left off. Curtis came later to find you, having poked his head in earlier to see you were settled into a project after dealing with Matt, he didn't want to bother you. But now it was getting late, and after pouring over the maps in what they turned into a meeting space of sorts with the rest of the “council” they formed, passing ideas of where to go, and how to proceed, he was tired. The sky was starting to darken, and spending a quiet evening with you really was all he wanted at this point. Figuring you would be where he had left you, Curtis shrugged off his jacket as he went into the humid car, glancing around, and walking down the aisle, checking the rows till he found you, kneeling while using your hands to churn dirt, snipping off any dead leaves on each individual plant, a small trailer left behind you.

“There you are... was wondering where you had gotten off to.” Heavy boots thudded the floor and you looked up in surprise. Your hair curling around your temples and a streak of dirt across your forehead, you gave him the sweetest smile that Curtis would have sworn made his heart skip a beat. “You've been in here all afternoon, think it's time we call it a day.” Hand reaching for yours, you hesitate cause yours are dirty, but a wiggle of his fingers, enticed you, and you let him pull you up. “It can't be that late, it's still light.”

“In here, artificial lighting for the plants.” Leading you to a window, you leaned into his side, looking at the way the sky was painted in so many vibrant hues.

“Alright, maybe I did lose track of time. I only meant to stay in here for a couple hours.” You admitted and he laughed, his arm resting around your waist.

“Come on, let's go eat.”

As becoming another regular was all eating dinners together. Tess would bring out whatever, and those that didn't have something stored away would come to get a bit of whatever she made that day. Groups of you would sit together, and slowly it was a mingling of people. Today you sat at Curtis’s side, sipping from a cup he brought you, and across from you, Edgar and Yona did the same as you, Yona talking about what she was doing with the kids. The kids, it was hard to think of them as the trains orphans anymore. They simply seemed to just belong to everyone now, no longer separating the train in classes as before.

“Teach them some manners, the little shites.” Edgar teased Yona, and you nudged your boot against his leg to get his attention.

“Excuse you, you were no peach either Edgar. Always sassing when you didn't get your way.” You smirked back at him over your cup as you sipped from it, Yona giggling at his side, and he narrowed his eyes at You. “I was a great kid! I listened. Kinda.”

“Right. Just as good as you listen now.” Curtis laughed deeply, moving to get up, and held out a hand to take the emptied dishes to bring them back to the kitchen. You moved to a kneel, beckoning Edgar to turn around. “Let me look at your back, see how that scar is healing.” Pushing himself from the wall, he twisted, and hiked the back of his shirt up. You leaned in closer, tracing around it for a moment. “Sore any? It looks really good, considering what happened.”

He pulled away and tugged his shirt down, giving a roll of his shoulder. Whenever the matter of his scar came up, he would go quiet. “It’s a'right. Tender once in a while, especially when hauling stuff.”

“Yea, you probably should have waited to do the cleanup.”

“Well, it had to be done.” He stated, and Yona next to him frowned slightly studying him. But Curtis coming back distracted them from the conversation, and you yawned, pushing to a stand.

“Doesn't matter if it had to be done, still should have waited. Night.” Biding your goodbye to your companions, a hot shower sounded excellent, and Curtis came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle.

“You okay?” a soft kiss was pressed just at the hollowed curve of your neck, and you let your hands weave over the top of his around your stomach. “Yea, just super tired suddenly. Been feeling this way most of the day. I'm sure it's nothing. “

He lifted his head and frowned hearing that. “You sure you shouldn't go see Price? Could be something.” You turned just as you reached the door, and pulled yourself in close against him with a fist of your hands in his shirt, leaning up to tease your lips against his. “Handsome, I'm fine. Tired is all... I promise.” Blue eyes looked slightly doubtful, but he relented and the two of you went into the room.

“Would you tell me if you thought otherwise?” Curtis locked the door while you started stripping out of the dirtied clothing to escape into the bathroom. Curtis caught just a glimpse of your backside, and inhaled sharply. No sex for the past month and half was starting to in ways he didn't care for. But it didn't matter, there was no way in hell he was going to try anything until you were ready. Instead, he set about taking off his boots, sitting on the edge of the bed to untie them, make himself comfortable.

In the bathroom, you turned on the water and slipped in before it got hot. Not wanting to waste any water, and tipped your head back to moisten your hair, and start scrubbing it, getting the dirt and sweat out from earlier. Then getting ready to wash your body, you looked down and saw red swirling by your feet. Your hands start roaming over your body quickly without thinking, a panicked cry out. “Curtis!” You twist in the shower, looking behind you to see if your cut anywhere and it hits you.

You had your period. If came... You weren't pregnant.

And that moment relief flooded you so intensely, you slid to the floor of the tub, somewhere between a cry and laugh of relief, Curtis burst into the bathroom, in response to you calling his name. “Y/M?! Baby, you okay?” He opened the curtain to find you sitting on the bottom, and immediately scanned you going to his knees. Cupping your face as you had it pressed to your knees, making you lift up to look at him. Your body shaking slightly under his hold. “What is wrong?” and that's when he caught the bit of red escaping down the drain. “Fuck, where are you hurt?” He is shifting you forward and you finally regain yourself enough to put a stop to him.

“I'm fine, I'm okay. Turn the water off and hand me a towel?” You ask and he reached over to turn it off, worried eyes finding you again and his hands seeking to look for whatever was causing you to bleed, but you grab his hands to make him focus on you. “It came Curtis. I'm not pregnant.”

His face is just stunned, his shirt half clinging to him from where he had leaned into the spray to check on you, and you couldn't help but giggle at the way he looked, blinking water out of his face before he repeated what you said. “You're not pregnant...?” the realization flooded his expression to relief and you nodded with a grin. “You're not pregnant!” He repeated and drew you into his arms, hugging each other out of relief. “Oh Babygirl, thank god. Are you okay?” He leaned back to look at you, and moved to get up and grab a towel, holding it open for you. Pulling yourself to a stand, you step into it, feeling prominently better then you had since you were raped.

“Relief Curtis, I just feel light as air. I didn't know what we were going to do if I was.” You pressed your face into his chest, breathing in deeply while he rubbed your back through the towel.

“We would have done everything we could, just like for any other child,” Curtis assured you, thanking everything under the moon and stars though that you weren't made to go through that as well as everything else that had happened. You mumbled in his chest, and lifted your face to look up at him. “I will go see Price in the morning, just to be sure.”

“Thank you.” Curtis kissed your forehead and let his hands cup your face, kissing you in that slow way that made your heart flutter, you opened to him, your tongue sliding with his and a soft moan between you two. Curtis pulled back and let his forehead rest against yours, his hands had fallen to your hips and his fingers flexed through the terry cloth. “You better get dressed Babygirl.” Both your eyes closed, merely breathing in each other before he moved to kiss your forehead and released you.

Curtis left you to pull on a large tee, it swept well down your thighs that you've been sleeping in as we as well as a pair of panties with a liner, brushing all your hair out, and debating about putting it up, you recalled that Curtis loved your long hair. Spreading it around your shoulders, you brush it out more till it's soft waves were shining, and once you checked to make sure any mess was gone. Flicking off the switch you came into the room being dark, Curtis sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for you to get in since you always slept against the wall. When he saw you, his hands opened up and you happily stepped into them, resting your cheek against the top of his head.

Nuzzling against your ribcage for a moment, and his hands sliding up and down along your sides, you let your fingers slide through the back of his head, and along his neck. “Today was a good day, right?” You ask softly while lifting your head to look at him. Your hands settled on his bare shoulders. Curtis lifted his head just a bit and looked up at you, flattening his hands against the small of your back and pulling you in closer. “It was a good day Babygirl.” His hands lightly pressed against the back of your thighs and you shifted to straddle him, letting your forehead rest against his. “Even with everything that happened today, it was a good day.” His arm tightened around you and shifted back with a slight roll so he could lay you down and shifted to his side next to you.    

Loping an arm around your hip and kissing your shoulder, you slid in closer to his heat while he dragged the blankets that was collected. You felt him relax under your fingers playing in his hair, and although you didn't fall into the same lull that he did, his breathing turned shallower, soft snores rolling from his chest. Twisting to your side, his hand instinctively tightened around you, but you weren't going anywhere. Your gaze was able to follow the lines of his face from the window right behind your head, casting the room in a silver glow. Your thoughts drifted.

You were lucky, You knew it. Curtis had been with you since practically you came on the train, kept you alive and safe. You've done what you could to show your love back over the years, but you knew in this you wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for him. Even these past few weeks, surviving through the revolt, he didn't even realize it was coming back to him that saved her from the attackers. Everyone was so focused on surviving, they forgot why they survived.

If it wasn't for Curtis, they would be wasted away in the darkness, a forgotten memory of a past life.

And he never asked for anything in return. Not really. Not even during this time where you were slowly opening back up did he push for me. And another day, another time you would have fallen into that mind-frame that he no longer wanted you. But you knew better, just that morning you happened to see him relieving himself in the shower, barely catching whispers of your name, just under the sounds of his grunts. You knew he was trying to be quiet, not wanting to pressure you.

A soft shift and your name brought you out of your thoughts, and Curtis was leaning on his elbow, blue eyes searching your face. “What's on your mind Babygirl?” he had expected you to deal with some conflicting emotions since finding out that you were not pregnant, but you just looked at him with a soft expression, leaning into him and kissing him deeply, your hands clutching his shoulders and leaning back, bringing him along, and the kisses turned more feverish. Curtis groaned against your lips and down along your jawline, hissing softly against your neck. “Are you sure?” His head lifted, his hands cupping your face to search you for any doubt, any sign that you didn't want him to touch you and make love to you.

Your hands splayed over his chest raised just above you, spreading your fingers through the crisp dark scattering of hair and hummed softly in appreciation of the feeling against your palms, nodding. “Please Curtis... I miss you. But I'm scared.”

His head tilted and those kisses against your neck went to your face, each one a well placed soft brushed of lips warming you. “scared of what Babygirl?”

“What-what if I'm broken?” Your brows furrowed, and your fingers eased to his back, tracing along the flexing of muscles.

“Babygirl, you're not broken. I promise.” Curtis rubbed along your hip under your shirt. “But there's no rush Y/N.”

Your eyes roamed him and then your hands folded into your shirt and you pulled it off, letting it fall off the end on the bed.

“Show me.” You lean back into the pillows, and then Curtis shifted, wide shoulders blocking out the rest of the room as he leaned over you, leaving you gasping underneath him. Tilting your head back to give him access to your neck, outside, the stars.

There were so many stars and those desired kisses on your neck, his calloused hand sliding along your skin.

Your breathing came out in rushes, the stars going blurry in your vision. Curtis's hand grasped your chin lightly and made you look at him. 

"Babygirl, I got you. Your safe."

@what-is-your-plan-today​ @p8tn0lish​ @jtargaryen18​ @stardancerluv​ @princess-evans-addict​ @patzammit​ @fckdeusername​ @that-damn-girl​ @curtisbbq​ @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​ @thatweirdwalangpake​ @simsadventures     

[arwenaminwho]

Vengeance

Hey guys! This is my first English story and also my first imagine on Tumblr. I’m really sorry if I did any mistakes but I tried my best. Thank you if you read and I would really appreciate if you guys give me feedback! Enjoy! (I hope.)

Batman x Female!Reader  Angst! Fluff!

Word count: 2,778 

------------------------------------------------------------

It was a cold evening. The front of the tower that the charity ball is going to happen was incredibly crowded. After getting out of the car Bruce took your hand and led you to the entrance of the tower. 

The chill wind flew the skirts of the white dress that you wore. There was a guilty glance in his eyes that he didn't want to show around. You didn’t want to come tonight, because of the recent things that happened between you and him. It was 2 days ago that you officially learned that Bruce was Batman. You were thinking and suspecting that something is quite not right about him but the first thing that you thought of was that he was cheating of you, and then you decided, that wasn't the case. And after that, you caught his bruises and that his lies weren't covering the things that he told you that he was doing -like golfing was the reason of those bruises- you started the think that either he was in a lot of trouble or some other things was going on. And one night after he left you at your bed in hurry in the middle of the morning without telling a good reason, you looked out at your window and saw the Bat-signal and all the pieces of the puzzle are falling into their places for you. He was the Batman, and you only just realize it after one year of dating with him, and all this time that the reasons of him that he was late or the things that he could make it were all a big lie. And that made you quite angry. You were upset that he didn't trust you enough, and you were wondering if you didn't catch him how many years would it take him to finally share his secret with you.

“(Y/N)?”

His soft voice that he only used when he with you snaped you out of your thoughts.

“Yes?”

“Are you okay?” His eyes were still was full of a quilt when he was looking at you, and you felt maybe you were a bit unfair to him. You could actually understand what he was thinking, he was probably afraid that his secret would cause trouble to you, or that you would think that its a burden and leave him. Which you would never do.

“Yes, I’m fine. Its nothing.” You said while holding his hand tighter. You give him a smile which made him sigh of relief and smile. You decided not to maintain this issue and enjoy his presence. 

With your hand in his hand, you took the elevator and head into the ballroom that the organization was happening.

The ballroom had a splendid look. Everywhere was richly decorated according to the high taste of the guests. The room was crowded and noisy. The whole room was full of the upper class of Gotham. They were drinking their champagne and laughing at each other's jokes accompanied by classical music played on back.

“I have to spend time with the company's investors,” Bruce told you while looking at the group of very boring looking of man, you could see in his face that was the last thing that he wanted to do at that moment.

“Sure, I’ll come with you.” With a big smile, he put his hand on your waist and led you toward them. 

It was a bunch of boring conversations and then you decided to ask for permission to go to the restroom so that you can have a little space for yourself.

“If you'll excuse me,” you said while giving Bruce a little smile, which he returned. And you made your way to the restroom. 

When you arrive at the restroom, you put your bag to the counter and started to freshen up your makeup. While putting your lipstick the door of the restroom burst open. There was a troubled looking man who was holding a gun towards you. You instantly dropped your bag to the ground and raised your hands.

“What are you doing?”

“Out.” 

“I-I don’t understand.”

“OUT!” 

“O-okay.” You were trying to understand what was going on while he was pushing you out of the restroom, he grabbed your arm and hold the gun to your waist.

“Don’t run, don’t move, don’t scream or I swear to god I’ll kill you here.”

“Okay. Okay, just tell me why are you doing this, who are you? What do you want from me? Money? What? Just tell me, maybe I can help you.” You were trying to find a way to get you out of this situation, but the corridor was empty due to the start of the program in the ballroom. You could hear the sound of the music and the cheers.

Even if you could scream nobody would’ve heard you. So you decided to listen to him and compromise. He led you to the elevator with a crazy look in his eyes, he was watching his surroundings and making sure that nobody was seeing them. 

“Don’t talk! Just do as I say.”

You didn't say anything and entered the elevator with him. You were wondering and trying thing about your options, but you couldn't find anything. Your boyfriend -who was batman- was in the ballroom and you had nothing to at that moment to alert him. 

“Why are you doing this?” You tried your chance again.

“Why?” he was nearly screaming with rage. “To make him pay, to make him pay for all the things that he has done to me.”

You were trying to understand what was he talking about. 

“Bruce Wayne. He has this gorgeous, rich life with everything that he wants in his hands in seconds, with a loving girlfriend while my wife leaves me because of the things that he has done.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He took my EVERYTHING. He took my job with huge compensation. He left me jobless and in dept. The bank sold my house and made me and my family homeless. She took away my children and go to her mother's home and send me divorce papers after. I have left nothing. Nothing to lose. I can't make him lose everything he has but I can make him lose you, which is even worse.” 

You couldn't know what to say and tried to negotiate with him. 

“Look, I can find your money, I can help you get your house back, please, don't do this. It's not too late, you can still have your family back.”

He looked at you angrily,

“ITS TO LATE. THERE IS NO GOING BACK! Do you think I just come here like that? I’ve been planing this for months. I tried to do this in different ways but I couldn’t. I followed you home, I watched you work, but you were always surrounded by a lot of people. But now I don't care. I have nothing to lose.” 

You finally understand that you were beyond helpless and on your own, you had to do something or this lunatic was going to kill you. As the elevator descends to the floor with parking lots you instantly press to the buttons and made the elevator stopped on the third floor. As the elevator doors open you jumped out and started to run. He was screaming and he started running behind you.

“STOP! STOP IM TELLING YOU OR ILL SHOOT YOU!”

You tried to run faster in the corridor to the doors but you felt an instant pain on your back. The pain that took your breath. The only thing that you were hearing was your blood running in your wains and muffled screams. You tried to continue running but you heard guns shoots again. Two of them hit you again while you no longer felt the power to continue running and you collapse to the floor. As you were trying to breathe on the floor you barely saw a man very far away, which is bruce, was running towards you. But you felt a grip on your arms, the man who shot you was gripping you on your arms and trying to take you to the edge of the balcony on the floor. You were screaming trying to lose his grip but you were powerless and losing blood. He lifted you as if you had no weight and threw you down from the balcony like you were nothing.

“(Y/N)!” Bruce screamed your name while you were falling from the third floor of the tower to the ground. You didn't feel the fall, your eyes closed as you fell. The last thing that you saw was Bruce was looking at you with horror in eyes and screaming your name.

------------------------------------------------------------

You woke up with the voice of machine beeping. You were lying in a hospital bed with cables everywhere. As you tried to look around you notice that you have a neck collar, and your arm and your leg were in bandages. As you tried to remember what was happened the door opened and a devastated looking Bruce come inside. When he saw that you were awake he seemed surprised and come quickly beside you.

“(Y/N)!, (Y/N) are you okay? Does somewhere hurt? How do you feel?” He held your hand while gripping your face.

“Hey,” You manage to say. He was looking at you with very quilt eyes.

“Hey.”

“I'm okay. What happened? H-how did I?”

Bruce seemed troubled with even more guilt in his face he said. 

“I'm going to explain everything, darling. First I should call a doctor to tell them you are awake. Its been two days.”

Two days? That you were sleeping? The last thing that you remembered was the fall and the horror in bruce face.

Bruce goes out of the room and came back with a doctor in a few minutes and stood beside you.

“How are you feeling?” the doctor said.

“Fine, I think. What happened to me?”

“You’ve been shot from three parts, one on your back, on your arm, luckily it's just a scratch. And one bullet on your upper right leg. There is no life-threatening situation. We got the situation under control. The fall from the balcony caused you to hurt your neck, so you need to wear your neckband for a while. Also, there is no fracture on the arm and leg, but there is damage so you will need to use your bandages for a while and be careful while using them. You may feel pain due to injuries caused by falling on your waist, be careful while moving. The bullet hitting behind you stuck on your back without damaging any organ, we took it out with an operation. You are very lucky. We are now giving painkillers to make you comfortable. If you feel that the medicines are insufficient, you can just need to tell us. We will increase the dose.”

“Thank you, doctor.”

You couldn’t believe all the things that happened to you, that you almost died.

“Get rest now, you've been through a lot.”

After the doctor left the room, Bruce carefully sat on the bed and took your hand.

“It's all my fault,” he said with a very broken voice.

“No, don't be silly. You did nothing to be guilty.”

“It was my fault that he targeted you.” with every word he was saying he seemed like he was hating himself even more.

“What exactly happened? Who was he?” you manage to say.

“He was a former employee at Wayne Inc. When he was found to have stolen money from the company, he was fired with compensation. Apart from signing the exit documents of his, I had nothing to do with the incident, but as a company owner the whole incident remained on me, and led him to target you.” his voice cracked at the end of his sentence.

“He told me he wanted to harm you by hurting me.”

His eyes were full of tears. “And he did.”

“I'm fine, Bruce. There is nothing for you to blame yourself. You saved me. If it wasn’t for you, I would be- ”

“Don’t. Don’t say it.” he breathed out.

“I should have been faster. I suspect something when you didn't come from the restroom, but I didn't want to be paranoid. Then I went to the restroom to check you but I just found your bag on the ground. So I realized that something was wrong.”

“How did you find me?” you were wondering how he manages to find you in a very short of time.

“I-I-”

“How?”

He took a deep breath. 

“I had placed a GPS device on you before. I just looked at it,” he said with an ashamed tone.

“Did you put a GPS device on me?” you were shocked.

“Yes (Y /N), because I have a lot of enemies, as Bruce Wayne or as Batman. I just wanted to protect you. If I hadn't put it on. Now you-” he didn’t want to complete his sentence but he spoke in a strong voice that knew he had done what had to be done.

“I would be dead,” you said it bluntly.

“No, don’t say that. I will always be going to look after you. I will never let anyone ever hurt you again. Never. Except if you don't want me to be with you anymore, but still I’ll protect you.” he said with a sorrow voice.

When you looked at his face you could see the fatigue on his face. His beard had grown as if he had not shaved, and his eyes looked tired as if he had not slept for days.

You knew that the only thing that he wants to do is protect you. And you understand that he has a lot of enemies, and with everything that he been thought he was trying to protect you with everything he has. You couldn’t blame him for that. And if he didn’t put that device on you, you would be long gone.

“I trust you that you would only use it when it’s necessary.”

“Of course.” he looked at you like you said the most stupid thing. “I trust you, too.”

“What happened to him?” You wanted to change the subject.

“I took care of him.” He said darkly as he clenched his teeth.

You looked into his eyes while clenching your hand to his.

“His been send to prison, and I made sure that he has the worst prison mates, I don’t think he can make it out.”

“Bruce.” you couldn’t know what to say.

“Don’t say anything. I don’t know what would I do if I lose you too. You are the most important thing to me. I’m sorry that I wasn’t completely honest with you and share my secret before. I was trying to protect you from my other identity as if this one is much safer. I’m sorry. I’m never going to let anybody ever hurt you again.”

“Bruce...” you were speechless.

“You did nothing to be sorry about. I understand you. And I don’t think that you need one but if you do, I forgive you.”

He looked at you with loving eyes. He, after days, seemed finally relaxed.

“I’m not gonna let you slip away from me ever again.”

“Don’t,” you said while smiling.

“No more secrets,” he said to you while he leaned forward to kiss you.

“No more secrets,” you repeated and you leaned front to kiss him back.

[iamtheroger]

Times Interview Brian

Here is a link to a premium Times Brian May interview for those who can’t read the original thing: x

Some excerpts, first about Freddie’s final weeks:

It is harrowing to read of Freddie’s final days and the devastating effect the HIV virus took on his body before he died in late 1991. “The problem,” May writes, “was actually his foot, and tragically there was very little left of it. Once, he showed it to us at dinner. And he said, “Oh Brian, I’m sorry I’ve upset you by showing you that.” And I said, “I’m not upset, Freddie, except to realise you have to put up with all this terrible pain.””

“What we did was get on with business as usual, which is what Freddie wanted,” May remembers. “He said, “I don’t want anything to change. We just do what we always do and we love what we do, so it’s going to be fine.” Certainly those days towards the end were fabulous, full of laughter and joy, Freddie as wicked as ever. He was incredibly matter-of-fact about everything. “Oh darling, I’ll just get on with it.” There wasn’t any self-pity at all. He wanted a ballad, so I very quickly sketched something in the studio and Freddie liked it. He said, “Gimme some words”. It was a question of scribbling a few lines and he’d chuck a couple of vodkas down; because he could hardly stand at that point; “Oh darling, I’ll do it now.” Then he’d prop himself up on the desk and sing the lines. We didn’t quite get to the end. I gave him the last verse and he said, “Oh darling, I’m not feeling too good now, so I’ll come back to it. In a couple of days I’ll be fine, we’ll do it then.” And he never did.”

(I’ve put the actual quotes in italics).

Mercury the daring peacock, May the soft-spoken brainiac: it is hard not to see them as two polar opposites, but May disagrees. “We were all striding around the world being big-time rock stars, but actually we’re quite fragile inside. It’s probably the reason we’re rock stars, because it’s a big compensation thing, playing a loud guitar or strutting around singing. You do it because you want to feel confident, you want to find yourself and achieve your potential.”

About John:

Absent from any of the post-Mercury Queen activity is the bassist, John Deacon, now said to be a recluse. “I don’t see him at all, no,” says May. “It’s his choice. He doesn’t contact us. John was quite delicate all along. He could be very outgoing and very funny, but I think some of the stuff that happened in Munich gave him a lot of damage, and I think losing Freddie was very hard for him as well. He found that incredibly hard to process, to the point where actually playing with us made it more difficult.”

About Munich:

"We all lost our minds; we were all in a perilous place where our emotions were out of control. It manifested itself in way too much drinking, a certain amount of drugs, which I didn’t share; but certainly an awful lot of vodka went through my body. We all fell to bits. That’s the moment Freddie wrote It’s a Hard Life. If you look at the video, it’s a metaphor. There’s all this wonderful, fanciful clothing and excess of food, wine and debauchery, but Freddie’s saying “It’s a hard life” as the grapes are thrust into his mouth. The Freddie writing that song was actually in a very painful, emotional place.”

It inevitably also had an impact on the band dynamic. “We overreacted with each other at times. We all left the band at some point. The studio’s a hard place for a band anyway, but in our case all four of us as writers had had worldwide hits; and I think that’s unique, I don’t think there’s another band in history where that’s true. You have four writers trying to create the next statement of what we are, so what could that statement be except a fight between the different visions? The lifestyle we led magnified that conflict.” In Deacon’s case, it culminated in “John disappearing to Bali and seeing God or whatever”.

His weakness:

His weakness was always “company”. He bemoans his sensitive and emotionally immature nature, which meant he was endlessly trawling the world for “the perfect bond with the perfect partner; the place where you could dissolve with someone to the point where you don’t know where they start and you end.”

Did he ever find it? “No, it's impossible. I’ve glimpsed it. Various times, various moments. But it’s a wonderful fiction, really.”

Don’t feel too bad for him. While he was searching, his then-wife, Chrissie Mullen, was stuck at home with their three children.

“It was very different in those days. There were no mobile phones and phone calls were incredibly expensive if you were on the other side of the world. There was this feeling that life on the road was this separate bubble from your life back home. Nowadays you can’t even begin to think that because communication is so good. We lived in a time that was very exciting, but lonely because you were cut off. You were exploring the frontiers of what was around you, but also the frontiers of what was inside you. In the same way as people who went to look for the Northwest Passage in the 1950s. It felt a bit like you were an explorer in another universe.”

His hair:

We have touched upon May’s depression, infidelity, the painful death of one of his closest friends and the painful death of a bee. Yet there is one subject so sensitive, I have avoided raising it until the very end. His hair. He hates talking about it, but he must on some level like the attention it brings, otherwise why doesn’t he just cut it off?

“I’m comfortable with it,” he says. “It’s completely real. For a time when it was going grey I got very worried that I had to keep it a certain way or I wouldn’t be me any more. Anita encouraged me not to worry about it.”

[jedifighterpilot2727]

The Rook

After Lex reveals Kara's secret identity, Lena thinks she's fine - until she's not. The one person she trusted implicitly has betrayed her trust, and she doesn't know if she'll ever be able to believe in people again.

It's a tough lesson, but some things you just can't live without.

AKA - the angsty post S4 fic where Lena experiences heartbreak and anger as well as discovers the meaning of true love.

"I don't want to kill Supergirl, I just want her to experience the same hurt she inflicted on me."

*Hides behind rock* I know, it's been like 5 months, and I'm sorry! The book is still chugging along, but after seeing the SG trailer at SDCC I had to write something! Cue angst, heartbreak and devastating loss (with a happy ending of course!) Buckle in y'all, it's gonna get worse before it gets better!

Oh! and every chapter has a song to fit the mood! First up is "Nothing Breaks Like a Heart" by Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus.

Nothing Breaks Like a Heart

Numb.

Lena’s not exactly sure how else to describe it.

The feeling in her chest that spreads out to her finger tips, the heavy, sinking feeling that makes her feel like she drowning.

She not unfamiliar with the feeling.

Quite the opposite, actually.

She’s spent the majority of her life near suffocation from the choking feelings of inadequacy and betrayal.

Practically from the start of her time with the Luthors, she’d been judged and ridiculed and left on the outskirts.

Maybe not overtly, but certainly purposefully.

She knows without a doubt that Lilian orchestrated most of her young life in order to maximize feelings of ‘less than’.

Whatever she had done to gain the Luthor Matron’s ire had occurred long before she set foot in the Luthor Mansion.

Regardless, of the reason, she dealt with the consequences for years - long days at various different lessons, Irish boarding school, hard pressure to get early acceptance into MIT. Even once she had graduated and was doing ground breaking experimental work with Jack, Lilian’s glare was a constant presence over her shoulder.

It became even worse once she took over L Corp - doubly so. Nothing she ever did lived up to Lex’s legend, and she certainly never bowed to the Luthor agenda.

She had finally caved to Lilian’s pressure, hoping to do something to gain her mother’s approval -  an alien detection device, one that would allow regular citizens to tell if the people they were interacting with aliens disguised as humans.

She was so confident that the device would win over Lilian’s good will, that she would finally live up to the Luthor name, (without being a murdering psychopath).

But then, something had happened, something that had made her realize that maybe she didn’t need to toe the line of xenophobia to gain the approval she was seeking.

Her entire world had turned upside down the day that Kara Danvers had walked in her office, offering a kind rebuke at the alien detection device.

Suddenly, her entire world had shifted.

Her desire for Lilian’s approval wasn’t gone, but now it paled in comparison to the need for Kara’s. (Maybe that was a stupid reason to nix a million dollar project and piss off investors, but it sounds better that saying a pretty girl made her do it.)

And unlike Lilian’s approval, Kara’s was easily given.

Nearly anything she did was met with unwavering approval, and unfaltering enthusiasm.

It was like crack, honestly, having someone who supported her and believed in her like Kara. Every time something came up that she thought would finally shake Kara’s trust, it backfired in the exact opposite direction.

Evidence shows that she’s stealing Kryptonite?

Kara stands up for her.

Evidence shows that she’s poisoning little kids?

Kara stands up for her.

Even when she hides Sam’s condition from Kara’s . . . friend, Supergirl -

Kara stands up for her.

It’s intoxicating, and it has nothing to do with Kara’s perfect hair and beautiful smile.

it has nothing to do with how Kara brings her donuts during Lilian’s trial.

It has nothing to do with how she always smiles at Lena, even in the face of Supergirl’s disapproving pout.

And it definitely has nothing to do with the way Kara smells when she wraps an arm around Lena and solemnly promises to always be there for her.

It’s just nice, to be supported and believed in for once in her life.

It’s even more nice to have a self-proclaimed best friend that stands by her no matter what

(It does help that Lena has a huge, gigantic, undeniable crush on said best friend.)

But it’s not like she can say anything.

There’s no way that sweet, charming, beautiful, sometimes trips over her own words Kara would ever feel the same way about Lena.

It’s a statistical improbability,

Which is exactly why Lena suffers through lunches and game nights and a few too close to be just friendly hugs.

Kara’s friendship is enough, she shouldn’t want more. Kara is already so much better than anything she ever dreamed of having, she isn’t going to risk what they have by confessing something as inconvenient as feelings.

So she shoves her feelings away in a little box, and refuses to acknowledge them. Just like she refuses to acknowledge that her best friend looks a lot like the girl of steel.

She over compensates, almost to the point of hilarity; pushing Kara behind her in dangerous situations, insisting on being mad at her alter ego while still cozying up to her favorite reporter.

It’s stupid, but it somehow works in her brain. Allows her to ignore the fact that her best friend in the entire universe is also maybe, sort of, definitely Supergirl.

(It also allows her to ignore that Kara hasn’t told her said fact.)

It hurts, in a weird way, knowing that Kara is keeping something so important from her. But just like the facts, she puts that in a little box and ignores it too.

At least, until it all comes crashing down.

Lex, the goddamn bastard, couldn’t be good for anything, not even in death.

And if Lena feels like shit for thinking such a thing, she feels even worse knowing that what he’s telling her is true.

All of her little boxes come flying open, and they refuse to be closed again, no matter how hard she tries.

Kara’s identity, all the feelings of inadequacy and rejection, her burning desire for belonging and family - all of it comes rushing to the surface.

She tries to fight it, she does, but it feels unavoidable as it all comes crashing down around her.

Kara, her best friend, is Supergirl.

She was blind not to see it before, really.

She blames it on the little boxes.

Now though, she can’t deny it.

Kara is Supergirl.

And it hurts, somewhere deep in her chest.

Some part of her recognizes it as those feelings of inadequacy and unbelonging that belong to Lilian. Only now it’s her best friend making her feel that way. The person that promised to always be in her corner and have her back.

It’s almost debilitating.

She tries so hard to shove that in a little box too, but it doesn’t work. If anything, it backfires.

 ”You're with me, right?” Kara asks her on game night, and Lena stamps a foot down on the little box threatening to fly open - bile biting at the back of her throat.

“Always.”

* - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It all comes crashing down a week later when Kara finally confronts her.

“Lena?” Kara asks, and Lena freezes, sensing the trepidation in her voice.

“No, you don’t have anything in your teeth.” She teases, trying to belay the way her heart rate doubles.

“No, I know, I just . . . “

“What?” Lena asks, voice calm but her heart racing.

“i just . . . I’ve been meaning to tell you, but I never really had the chance. Well, I mean I did, but Alex said . . . What I’m trying to say is -“

“Don’t.” Lena tells her, surprised at the firmness in her voice.

“Lena, I have to . . .”

Their eyes lock, and Lena shivers. So much for little boxes.

“I’m . . .” Kara reaches for her glasses.

“Kara . . .”

“I’m Supergirl.” Kara finishes weakly, her hands trembling as they lower her glasses to her side.

“Kara.” she chokes out. “Don’t.”

“Lena - “ Kara starts to explain, but Lena ignores her.

Kara looks so incredibly sad, eyes welling up with tears and the muscles in her neck trembling.

“I know. I know all about your little secret.” Lena swallows hard, fighting back the tears. “You know why? Because Lex told me. I didn’t get to find out from you, or Alex; no, I got to find out from my homicidal brother. I suppose I was stupid for not seeing it before - naive to think that the most important person in my life wouldn’t hide something like that from me. I guess I was wrong, I’m just a fool.” She bites out the words, putting as much of her frustration into them as she can.

She may not be able to hurt Kara physically, but emotionally?

After a lifetime of living with Lilian?

That she can do.

“Lena, I didn’t do it to hurt you -“

“Really?” Lena scoffs, choking back tears. “Then why do I feel like you’ve taken a knife and stabbed it into my heart?”

Kara’s eyes look so full of remorse that Lena almost caves.

“I never meant to hurt you, that’s the last thing I wanted to do.”

“Oh, then what was your master plan? I’d love to hear it.”

“Lena . . .” Kara’s upper lip trembles.

“Literally everyone around you knew, except me.” Lena goads. “What exactly was your point? Other than to prove just how untrustworthy Luthors are?”

“No! I would never! Lena, I trust you more than anyone; maybe even more than Alex, that’s why I had to -“

“That’s why you had to lie to me?” Lena interjects, unwilling to let Kara finish her sentence.

“I didn’t want to lie to you!”

“Then why did you?!”

They stare at each other - an unstoppable force and an immovable object - the tension nearly crackling the air between them.  

Finally, the unstoppable force causes the object to move, and Kara speaks.

“Because when I first met you . . . you were . . . are the most beautiful woman I’d ever met.”

Lena’s heart jumps in her throat at Kara’s words, because surely she doesn’t mean them like that.

And I didn’t know if it was clouding my judgment, because Clark was so sure that you were just like your brother. But I refused to judge you on your family, and the next thing I knew, you were my best friend.” Her voice chokes off, and Lena forces herself to look away.

“You are my best friend,” Kara corrects herself. “And I didn’t want to screw it up. No one’s ever wanted to be my best friend before - besides Alex, I guess, and in the beginning that was only because she had to. But you,” she laughs softly. “you were so fiercely in my corner, about everything; being a reporter, CatCo, Mon-el being a jerk . . . I’ve never had anyone stand up for me like that. And I wanted to be the same for you, because you deserve it. “

“If I deserve you standing up for me, then why couldn’t you just tell me who you really are?”

“Because - “ Kara huffs. “Because, okay, maybe for the first few weeks I was worried that you might turn on me because of your brother. But then I . . . I was selfish. Because you were the only person that I could be 'just Kara' around. I didn’t have to worry about being Supergirl. And then, the longer it went on, I knew that I should tell you, I knew you would be so upset when you found out and I couldn’t stand to hurt you like that. . . . I was afraid that you’d never forgive me.”

“Why do you even care? I’m just a Luthor, right.”

She’s prodding Kara to a more direct answer, she knows it, but she never expects what comes out of the other woman’s mouth.

“Because I love you, okay?” Kara’s eyes fill with tears as Lena’s heart jumps in her throat.

"And maybe there was some part of me that hoped that I could keep bringing you lunch and you’d keep sending me flowers and maybe I could pretend that you love me too. And I’m sorry that I hurt you, and that you found out the way you did; just know that I would take it all back if I could. I would tell you myself, even if it meant you would hate me.”

“Kara . . . “ she knows deep down that she can never hate Kara, no matter how much she wants to. “You don’t get to say that you love me just to get me to stop being mad at you.”

“I’m not.” Kara vows fiercely. “But if we’re laying all our cards out on the table, I thought that you should know. I love your passion, I love your fire. I love the fact that you always stand up for what you think is right - even if it differs from what I think. I love that you throw yourself into your work, and I hate the fact that you forget to eat. I love that you pour your heart and soul into the children’s hospital and that you refuse to let anything stop that. I love how snuggly you get after a couple of glasses of wine, but I hate how self deprecating you get. I just want you to see you the way that I see you, and I was afraid that you knowing I’m Supergirl would hurt that. I guess I hoped that deep down, you loved me too. And I don’t know what my game plan was for that, or where I hoped we would end up -“

“Kara!” Lena chokes it out, barely able to keep the tears from falling down her cheeks.

“Lena, I just -“

“Don’t.” She says for the third time that night, desperate to stop the words coming from Kara’s mouth.

“I had to let you know how I felt, I know it’s bad timing, but I had to tell you the truth. I didn’t want it to be like this.”

Tears track down Kara’s face, but still, Lena stays strong, brushing past her and heading for the exit.

“Lena -“

It takes everything Lena has to ignore her, and move to the door.

* - - - - - - - -

Ever since Lex told her about Kara’s identity, she’s been in a fog.

She thought that it would get better once she had a chance to confront Kara.

What she didn’t expect was Kara’s . . . confession. It throws her for a loop, one she hadn’t seen coming in a million years. It should have made her ecstatic, it would have made her ecstatic in any other circumstance, but now it just leaves a sour taste in her mouth.

Of course Kara would pick the middle of her Supergirl reveal to spill out her heart, of course.

It fits so well with the Kara she knows and loves. That she would be so open and vulnerable that she would decide to lay her whole heart on the line.

Lena loves it, but she hates it.

Every part of her is screaming that Kara is just manipulating her, the same way she’s been manipulated for her entire life - bribed with love and affection.

She refuses to fall into the old trap again.

She is a strong independent woman, and she doesn’t need someone else to complete her.

And it’s true, she knows it’s true.

She doesn’t need anyone.

But it doesn’t help that she wants Kara.

She ignores every text, every call; she even tells Jess to revoke Kara’s unlimited access to her office (and she’s met with a giant frown and a questioning glare that she knows she’s going to have to answer to later).

But still, when her stomach growls sometime after one, she wishes that Kara’s smiling face was bopping through her door, waving a sack of takeout.

Even minus the lunches, she misses Kara.

Which is why she finds herself stretching and heading to her office door - maybe she can ask Jess to order food and convince her that it wouldn’t be weird to eat lunch with her boss.

Only when she asks Jess to order out, the other woman looks at her . . . strangely.

“What?”

“I uh, already ate.” Jess says almost guiltily.

“Oh. Did you happen to order anything for me?” Lena tries to sound as nonchalant as possible, but it still comes out almost whiney. Before Kara, Jess always made sure to order lunch for Lena, even if she knew she wouldn’t eat it.

“Uhh, I uhh, didn’t order out.”  Jess’ eyes flicker to the mini fridge under her desk.

“Oh, ok.” Lena lets it drop, obviously Jess doesn't it want to talk about it.

Maybe she has a new crush that brought her lunch and she isn’t ready to talk about it. Filing the information away for later, she shrugs.

“Could I get you to order me something then? Maybe an apple walnut salad from Noonan’s? I’ve been craving one lately.”

Jess’ eyes go back to the mini fridge, and Lena leans over the desk to stare at it as well.

“Is there something in there I should know about?” She asks, her mind immediately going to a bomb; and it’s so twisted that a bomb is the first thing she thinks of being stored in a mini fridge of all places, but it’s not the oddest -

“Kara!” Jess blurts, and Lena shifts her gaze back to her assistant.

“Kara’s in the mini fridge?”

“No.” Jess sighs. “Kara brought you lunch, and it’s in there. I know you said specifically that you didn’t want to see her or hear from her, so I didn’t want to tell you about it, but she insisted that I take it, and you know how persistent she can be!”

“So when you said you already ate . . .”

“She brought me broccoli cheddar soup, and you know that’s my favorite and I should have just ordered out but -“

“Jess - “ Lena placates her with a warm smile that’s only half forced. “Just because I’m not speaking to Kara doesn’t mean you can’t. Besides, it was broccoli cheddar soup.”

“Your lunch is still in there if you want it?” Jess offers, gesturing to the mini fridge.

“Oh, I’m not really that hungry, I forgot I had a big breakfast.” It’s a lie, she hasn’t eaten since lunch the day before; and her stomach quickly betrays her with loud growl.

Jess raises her eyebrows pointedly before reaching to the fridge and taking out a container and passing it to Lena.

It’s an apple walnut salad from Noonan’s, with a folded note taped to the front.

Of course.

“Really, I’ll just wait til dinner. . .” Lena protests weakly, her stomach fighting hard against her stubborn will.

“If she asks, I’ll tell her I threw it in the garbage and you never even saw it.”

Lena narrows her eyes.

“Fine, I’ll eat it, but if she asks, tell her you gave it to me and I threw it in the garbage.”

“Whatever you say, boss, whatever you say."

[ichor-and-symbiosis]

👀Tell me more about Manami and peachy ass 👀

the dopamine rush i got from this ask was indescribable, thank u so much 

- Manami was born into a very, very rich family. Her father is the CEO of a conglomerate and her mother feeds off of his wealth, and their relationship runs hot and cold. Manami has a relatively positive relationship with her parents, but they are always too busy to make time for her, so she was showered with money and gifts throughout her life to compensate. 

- Everyone on her father’s side shares the back and white pigmentation. She has four uncles on her father’s side and they are all hardasses with too much money. However, all men of the family revere their mother (Manami’s grandmother), who is old and frail and still sharp as a knife. Manami is her favorite grandchild. 

- Manami has been in many relationships when she was younger, but they were always unstable and she got bored very quickly. Her most successful relationship was with Trumpet, which lasted a year and a half, but this relationship was her eye opener in understanding that money and good looks isn’t enough for long-lasting happiness. There was always a spark missing. When she broke it off, her parents were extremely devastated. They were ready to marry her off immediately, considering Trumpet’s quirk would work fantastically with hers for future children, and he’s rich as fuck. But Manami does what Manami wants. 

- She genuinely cares for Re-Destro, and vice versa. He respects her talent as a hard worker immensely and always rely on her to do the impossible for him. Manami sasses him when the situation is appropriate and he finds it funny. At the end of the day, she devotes a lot of her time and energy to being the best secretary she can be. He is protective of her, especially if he witnesses a colleague trying to flirt with her (she’s hot as fuck and we all know gross old rich  men have a secretary fetish). 

- When she started out as a low-level secretary in Re-Destro’s company, she was terrified of answering phone calls. She was always an extremely talkative and outgoing people-person, but that’s because she could rely on her quirk to influence a person’s perception of her if things go awry. But phone calls are different, because she can only use her quirk on people who are looking into her right eye. Without that crutch, she feels awkward and vulnerable. She still suffers from anxiety to some extent, but she has her little ways of dealing with them (like sucking in a sharp breath of air before answering, which Jin totally notices and she gets very flustered when he calls her out on it).

- Doesn’t know a goddamn thing about how much things really cost. She’ll throw money at anything she wants. Literally the personification of “how much could a banana be? ten dollars?”

- She orchestrated several backup plans before the Deika City battle and remained on standby near the city. Press releases were written, ambulances were called to be within the vicinity, you name it, Manami thought of it. 

- The first thing she notices about Jin when she first meets him is his booty. She is instantly intrigued. 

- They just kinda bumped into each other a lot at the PLF headquarters and chit chatted during meetings, so their friendship evolved naturally. Despite Jin’s mental issues, Manami never takes his accidental insults to heart. He called her a cow once and she couldn’t stop laughing. Her self-confidence is ironclad and indestructible, which Jin really appreciates. 

- She quit smoking when she started university, but she’ll smoke with Jin from time to time just for company. 

- Flat out asks him if he wants to fuck. She always pulls the first move and this time is no exception. Jin is floored and nervous as hell because oh my god she’s really rich and hot what does she want with me, but all of that gets thrown out the window when things get going. He dicks her down so good that she never wants to think about another man again. Which is a big deal in of itself for someone with commitment issues like her. 

- Manami doesn’t usually laugh. It’s always usually a giggle or a light laugh, but never anything full-blown. Only Jin can make her crack up, and she is so embarrassed by it because she snorts really loudly and it’s one of the very few things she’s self-conscious about. But he adores her laugh. 

- The first time she visits Jin’s ratty, filthy apartment, she is literally this:

- But he fucks her senseless and they end up relaxing on his couch with cheap pizza and she’s never experienced the novelty of ... this. This whole situation, getting down to the average joe’s standards and not giving a shit about anything except for how warm and safe she feels in Jin’s arms. 

- She doesn’t want to admit that she’s falling in love with him, but fuck is it hard for her to stay in denial. When she comes to terms with it, she absolutely lets him know. Manami is all or nothing and doesn’t play games. Either you’re fuck buddies or married, there is no in between. 

- Jin brings out her emotional side. Not in a dramatic way, she just opens up more, tells more jokes, laughs a lot, wants to do spontaneous things, etc. He’s just so fun and interesting to her, and more importantly, he showers her with love, which is what she’s always wanted. She never really cared that much about anyone, but she’d die for Jin at that point. All of the affection she’s wanted to bestow upon someone finally comes out, and she coddles Jin like no other. 

- Manami thinks his criminal history is hot, to be quite frank. She likes the bad boy image. She’s not clean herself, not when Re-Destro kills people in his office whenever he’s incredibly upset, so she has thick skin for this sort of stuff. Plus, her family has done a bunch of shady shit to keep their wealth. She tells Jin that the only difference between a rich person and a criminal is having a good lawyer. 

god i could talk about them all day i need to stop sdkjfha 

[lizzybeth1986]

Very Slow Thoughts on TRH Book 1 Chapter 8

• This chapter is meh. It's basically a full chapter of the writers taking the Walker ranch portion of the story, and stretching it like chewing gum at this point. I was pretty much sleepwalking through this one tbh.

• The only interesting bit in this was the Drake childhood scene, but because the initial scenes will always be slight buildup to the actual meat of the backstory - rather than the story itself - its placement in a chapter as dull as this one doesn't exactly do it any favours.

• To avoid seeing these posts on your dash, you can block the following tags: #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs, #long post

• Screenshot Credits:

Drake: @thefirstcourtesan and the HIMEME YouTube channel

Hana: The Abhirio YouTube channel

I'm sorry I don't have any Maxwell screenshots this time around, since I couldn't find it on YouTube, and I wasn't able to ask permission for screenshots on time. As soon as a video of his route is up on YouTube, I'll try adding the collages with his screenshots up. But I do have a tiny gist of what happens in certain portions of his playthrough, thanks to Tumblr, so I'll put those up as quotes.

• Title: Ride Like The Wind

Alternate Title: There Are Other Things My MC Could Be Riding...But Okay

• We begin with the sisters (yeah Leona and Bianca are back to being sisters now), worrying over how they'll get their cattle to the upcoming auction on time since every ranch hand they'd reached out for help pretty much declined.

• Not only is stubbornness a family trait, but so is the tendency to judge people at face value (I'm looking at you, Leona).

• There are a bunch of parallels between the Walker Ranch situation and the Beaumont house one in Book 1: both for the Regatta and the Beaumont Bash. Only difference is, the writers won't bother to expand much on Beaumont History but throw around every minute detail they can imagine for Drake's family (IIRC, even the mystery in Beaumont House in Book 1 was mostly Savannah related).

• Even in moments of dire need, Leona HAS to slip in snide remarks about people she barely knows.

Slight variation on the third option, if you're married to Drake. The other two highlight either the fact that the MC spent most of her life as a commoner and could think on her feet, and the second establishes that she has at least some riding experience. Leona pokes fun at you for both, but has the sense to not deliver much of her unwanted opinion for the third (besides stating they don't have much of a choice).

• The MC also highlights the benefit of bringing the others along: Hana and Liam have a lot of riding experience, Drake is 'capable' and 'outdoorsy' and for some reason Maxwell is known only for his enthusiasm (even though Beaumont House HAS horses and a stable and the Brothers Beaumont would have had SOME experience at the very least 🤷🏽‍♀ [Didn't the Beaumont Bash involve letting in a couple horses into the house? I doubt those horses would even be there if those two didn't know how to ride and manage them]).

Hands down my favourite line in this chapter (Liam's king voice one comes a close second). I really love this because in stories like TRR/D&D, there's always that divide between nobility vs commoner, aesthetics vs utility...and in dialogues like these you can really see that difference. It reminds me a little of one of my favourite scenes from D&D Book 1, where Briar looks at the MC's embroidery and wonders aloud how a pretty piece like this would be of any use to anyone.

• The suede is fine but there's too much going on with the rest of the outfit for me to really admire it. Our LIs obviously don't agree with me:

Drake and Liam have the same dialogue, Hana and Maxwell have different ones. (in Maxwell's he tells her he is ready to "serenade my amazingly dressed, darlin' wife").

• Everyone gets their horses (Bianca gives King Liam a gentler horse so she doesn't end up indirectly harming a king, and Leona gives Bertrand a rough horse on purpose. Because Bertrand has to be on his best behaviour he agrees despite his initial fears).

• Hmm. Chuck finds out about the lack of help via a rumour. Hmmmm. Bertrand gets as skittish as his horse until the MC and Bianca remind him that they might as well take all the help they need.

• So the task is to ensure that the group reaches the big fair on time (or before) so that the sisters have enough time to prepare for their auction. Since they're short of staff and have a lot of cattle, every minute counts.

• There are roughly 3 tests that can ensure we get there on time if we pass:

- help move a group of stubborn cows from the six dozen we're taking to the auction (you can either say giddyup or scream out silly idioms that they won't understand). If you don't say giddyup, Drake will say it for you.

- Move the herd of cows away from a mud patch on the way. Drake suggests a move he and Savannah used to do as kids called The Cyclone, where 1-2 people get in the way of the herd and the riders come from another side to steer them away. This ensures that they get the cows away from the mud patch. This one is the most time-sensitive of the three, because if we fail this one a lot of time gets spent in getting the cows that fell into the mud patch out of the muck and onto the path again.

- Get a cow wandering through the stream out of it safely using a lasso. The problem arises when the cow starts fidgeting while you're taking them back. Here is where your suede outfit has an advantage, because if you choose "grip the pommel with your hands" and almost fall off the horse, the sturdy outfit will ensure you're safe.

-

All of this results either in you getting the cattle to the auction way before time with an hour to spare, or so late that they reach after the auction itself has begun. In the second option, Leona is nervous about their chances but Bianca insists that they did better than they could have done alone.

• Some stuff that you learn/that happens on the way:

- Chuck calls Leona Miss Walker, so is Walker really Bianca's surname rather than Jackson's? Jackson is also referred to as Jackson Walker. So whose nickname was it initially?

- Wild West Nicknames:

* Maxwell can either be Mad Maxwell or Maxwell 'Calamity' Beaumont. Both nicknames from the MC speak of his tendency to veer towards chaos, or his boundless energy.

* Liam is simply called King Liam because PB is fucking lazy.

* Drake is called The Lone Ranger by Hana, and Hana is called Lucky Lee by Drake.

* The MC can choose her nickname - Cow Boss, Jewel of the Prairie and Wild [Surname]. The second is a nice callback to both one of Valtoria's House mottos (Jewel of the Earth) and a name that Maxwell gives to a caviar dish for the Beaumont Bash (Jewels of the Sea). Personally I think the second one is a better parallel since the Beaumont House situation was already a precursor to what is going on with the Walker Ranch.

-

Well yes Liam, on people.

That aside...Jesus Christ is this man adorable.

- Alright, so much as I can't stand Leona? At least she has a legitimate ax to grind with Cordonian monarchy. Why the hell is CHUCK being like her and acting all condescending?? The closest thing to a 'noble' he's been around was Savannah and they barely even had anything together if we go by what Savannah says. What is he, the shit stirrer of Walker Ranch?

-

I have two points to make about this:

1. Constantine...is a fucking asshole. Most of us knew that. I think TRH just seems to be expanding more on that.

2. Sooo...exactly what was Constantine like before the Nevrakis ppl did what they did coz at this point he sounds like an utter failure in every way imaginable. His wife seems to have serious issues with him at this point, he's too busy fighting to spend any time with his kids (well. at least the one the writers remember), has neglected his friend Hakim, doesn't have good political relations with anyone, screws over the King Guard who he gave a Guardian of the Realm honour to earlier, for saving his life...after the man has died.

3. Leona pretty much doesn't seem to care about anything else besides the money Bianca could have been bringing in. It's the main thing she mentions when we first meet her, and it's the front and center of what she's telling us now. What Bianca was going through, the fact that her kids were left behind in an environment that was seemingly not a good one for them - she hasn't mentioned this so far in any of her more obvious complaints towards the nobility. I mean, is that the first thing you think about when your sister returns to her maternal home after such a devastating tragedy? Really??

4. The other funny thing is...she complains about not getting compensation from the royalty yet forgets that for a whole year or more when Bianca and Leona were not there for her (not their fault obviously, since she likely never told them)...it was a noble family's money that supported Savannah and Bartie. The money of the same Bertrand Leona is now enjoying lording over. I guess she would only know this if she were actually giving her sister's children the time of day, and I have hardly seen her do so, so far.

• Once we reach the fair and the sisters have moved forward to where the auction is happening, we are allowed to check out the rest of the fair. Cue diamond scene!

• I kinda think of this as a Group-LI kind of diamond scene - one where you spend time with the characters, but not separately. In a usual group scene they interact and do stuff together before you get time alone with them, but here, the group interactions are minimal and you get time with each LI in different situations. If you are married to said LI, the dialogues are obviously more romantic.

Drake: Opts for bull riding. He's shocked at the number of waivers he has to sign before participating, has a tough time atop the bull BUT manages to stay on longer than the rest. The rest of the group cheers him on as he comes out victorious, and the MC can either be baffled at his daring, or try it out herself.

The MC who is Drake's wife can opt to kiss him just before he participates and tell him to be safe.

Maxwell: Asks us to join in a tandem pie eating competition with him. The MC and Maxwell can either easily win, or be disqualified for starting a pie fight. Either way, the experience is a blast.

As Maxwell's wife, you get to kiss him after you've won/gotten disqualified, and tell him how his ability to make you laugh and have fun is exactly why your marriage is so amazing. (as Maxwell puts it: "never a dull day and more pie eating contests than you'd expect").

Hana: Has found a dressage-trained horse, and is happily getting the horse to do a perfect figure-eight. What follows is a heartfelt conversation about what home means to her, all the possibilities she can now freely explore, and the changes she has experienced. You can either tell her about her tendency to be competitive (something she apparently did not know herself...uh, yeah, sure), or her love and loyalty towards her friends.

As Hana's wife, you can kiss her, tell her you're falling more and more in love with her each day, and Hana gets to tell you that for her, home is where you are.

Liam: Has learned how to make a lasso from a local at the fair. He speaks of how places like these make him feel like he perhaps may understand his own people better, even if these activities are not what the court would expect or approve of from a king. He can show a few rope tricks to the MC, like catching a chair with a lasso, or be 'captured' by the MC.

As Liam's wife, there's the opportunity to flirt either by using the lasso on Liam, or asking him to tie you up.

• Savannah gives an update from Bertrand on how the cattle drive has gone, and Drake brings along some Texas barbeque. The group love it, but the MC finds it a little too much on the spicier side (bold of you, team TRH, to think I can't handle the seasoning in Texas when I have numbed my tongue on bird's-eye chilis!).

• Gah. The paps again. But this time, we're prepared and able to put a positive spin on our trip to Texas (this is either a romantic getaway to ensure we conceive a child, supporting a local business, attending the wedding of a noble) and the paparazzo runs with it. Chuck comes to our 'rescue' a minute later and Savannah is very appreciative.

• Tensions continue brewing beneath the surface between Bertrand and Chuck. Chuck tries to bond with Bartie, who is naturally a friendly child, and Bertrand isn't able to hide how he feels about this. You get to either deflect the situation by telling Bertrand to show Bartie how a "Beaumont high-five" works, or by telling Chuck not to cut into Bartie's animal petting time.

• Savannah complains. Only improvement is that at least this time she mentions that she's spoken to Bertrand and even then he feels he has something to prove (gee, Savannah, I wonder why. It's not like your AUNT has anything to do with that, for sure!)

• "Whatever's going on with Bertrand, I hope he figures it out before our wedding". 'Because I sure as hell don't care', Savannah forgot to add. Like...the root of his current insecurities is right in front of her. Right in her family. Leona has been rubbing it in that he is a 'useless noble' ever since he's been here (even giving him a skittish horse on purpose) and not once has Savannah ever said a thing - either in front of Bertrand, or secretly to us in all the times she's been complaining about him. That's a...surprisingly cavalier attitude for someone getting married to this guy in a couple days.

• Seeing Bertrand, Savannah and Bartie as a family leads the MC and LI to talk about their own search for a family. Nowadays I generally tap over a scene like this because I personally find the MC having the option to be upset and sorry for herself about not being pregnant, a little annoying. I wouldn't under normal circumstances, considering what this book is about (in fact I would be quite happy) - but I think I'm allowed to feel sore over the fact that the MC unfairly gets the space to feel about this the way others can't. So yeah, for me scenes like these are not worth talking about.

• We're back at the ranch, where the group laughs and reminisces over the last trip some of them (Liam, Drake, Savannah) took to the ranch, and the strongest memory we here about is of Jackson, Drake's father who was once Constantine and Eleanor's security detail.

• In our second childhood diamond scene, we are taken back to their last visit to the ranch, where a rather unwell Eleanor is protected by Jackson, and where the children witness a fight between the king and queen. Drake and Jackson have a conversation in the stables later, where the father evades questions about Constantine and Eleanor from a very worried son, and instead chooses to ask him questions about his future. Here are the things I could glean from the scenes:

- Bianca doesn't get a younger sprite here even though she is present in the scene, and there's a chance that they're maybe saving that for a flashback scene for her (?)

- Eleanor's meant to appear unwell, tired and very unlike herself in this sequence - and even if we've just met her it's quite clear that something is off with her. She is shown looking weary a couple of times, and Jackson says "easy does it" at one point. She shows a lot more frustration towards Constantine than in the last scene, calling him out for his paranoia and asking him if his questions (about her wanting an alliance with Auvernal) are an order from the king rather than a request from her husband. Even Constantine points out that she is not herself.

- Other than Auvernal being her maternal home, what else do we know about her connections there? (besides that telling quote by Bradshaw about Eleanor always graciously welcoming them - which interestingly seems to leave out Constantine). I feel like the upcoming trip there next chapter is going to give us an insight into that.

- There is a heavy emphasis on Liam and Drake's friendship, and Drake's feeling of 'responsibility' towards Liam...which I think is kind of a pointer to the whole question of him returning to court after the assassination and staying with Liam when they're older. Even his conversation with Jackson has the latter mentioning that he would be of the most help if he keeps Liam and his parents happy during their time in the ranch.

- The ending itself shows a significant shift from Drake's attitude towards Liam in the first half (playful, friendly, wants Liam to be safe around his mother's home) to the last (protective, determined to cheer Liam up and more reflective). This scene is clearly a Drake scene through and through and the approach is very different from the first set of childhood scenes. This might be how childhood solo scenes will be dealt with from now on.

- Jackson also mentions not being able to speak openly about the problems between Constantine and Eleanor, and Liam tells us later on that he was kind of a confidant to both of them. Jackson also mentions in the stable scenes that he is responsible for keeping them alive but not for their personal problems. The perfect King Guard. Constantine is an ass for denying his family compensation (but also I wonder if there is more to that story the way they frame it. I hope they don't try to force another of those "it was for the good of Cordoniaaaaa" excuses the writers always keep ready for Constantine.

- If Olivia was so suspicious, why were they leaving her behind?

- There are significant differences between the Drake playthrough and other playthroughs in terms of certain scenes. One lies in the options little Drake can make with regards to his future. The third options in both playthroughs show indicators of his future. If present-day Drake is single in your playthrough, it will focus on his desire for a simpler life. If he is married now, then the flashback will include this:

The other two options are Drake speaking about wanting to be a King Guard like his dad, and wanting to stay Liam's best friend. The King Guard thing obviously doesn't happen, the second one happens because Liam almost died. The third one is more clearly a pointer to Drake's future.

- Another significant variation if you are married to Drake is that you have a conversation with him after the scene is over, about his thoughts on his child becoming an heir to the throne:

Reminds me of the conversation we had at the American bar. On the one hand, I like this because as an outsider in the court and someone close to the security detail at the time, he would think of Liam's life very differently. Kids are impressionable, and ostentatious shows of wealth in front of a kid who cannot afford that much can definitely sting.

- Hmm. Hmm. So Liam's sacrifices only become important to Drake when his own kid might face the same challenges? Until then he will yap about how much luckier Liam is and how everything revolves around Liam? How girls were after Liam and not him (yet the one girl who did like him, he eventually treated like trash)? How he thought of Liam as "leading the MC on" by spending time with her when they first met/during the social season? (that's an actual dialogue he says, in Book 3 Chapter 16). Added to this is the fact that Drake stayed in the palace for free, as Liam's friend, and hardly had to do much (he freely roams around the cities Liam has to visit for diplomatic reasons, he can opt out of court events when he wants, he doesn't even have to dress the way others do - even the MC that doesn't buy outfits has to wear a gown that represents her sponsors/duchy for official events). Now when it's convenient for Drake he chooses to think about the flip side? When that flip side should have been the most obvious to him, the Prince/King's best friend??

• The setup for the next chapter comes in the form of a letter from Auvernal, asking the MC to meet them. Well. It's not Texas, so I'll take it.

General Thoughts:

- I don't have a lot to say about this chapter. There's not much really. It's boring and bland and even the nice Drake childhood scene at the end can't save it.

- Bianca's little line about not wanting to harm a King on her ranch...I feel like part of it may be concern because Liam was after all her son's best friend, and part of it may be wariness because of Constantine? But a lot of this is definitely me reading too much into this one little line 😅

- It does have some decent callbacks though:

* Team TRH FINALLY remembers that Hana has done dressage, which was shown to us as far back as TRR Book 1 Chapter 13. Brava!

* The whole premise of a family struggling with money problems and us offering help and getting the job done, is very reminiscent of the pre-Beaumont Bash sequences where we were scrambling together appetizers, helping with cleaning and setting up the ballroom for the big event. It's kind of ironic because the Beaumonts were in this position once, and now at least 3 books later they are involved in helping the sisters get the cattle drive going.

* The pie fight in Maxwell's section of the diamond scene has some similarities to the food fight in the fondue party scene in Book 2.

* Hana's response to eating barbeque strongly resembles how she approaches eating sloppy joes in Book 1, at the beach party. Back there, she is nervous about sampling the food because it is messy, and here she initially asks about utensils to eat it with, to which Maxwell says "you have ten of them!" referring to her fingers.

* The Jewel nickname for the MC, which we've seen versions of before in Book 1 and Book 3.

* A lighter version of the MC-Drake conversation in the Drake x MC playthrough can be found in the American bar scene in Book 1, where he speaks about how his parents always tried to get him things for his birthday but Liam's parents always went many steps ahead simply because they could afford it.

* Drake being called the Lone Wolf by Hana, which was something the MC could opt to dub herself in her interview at the Derby in Book 1? (a bit of a stretch I know but I'm having fun with this okay 😂)

- Could a kind anon (or not-anon) tell me if there is a reference behind 'Lucky Lee'? In fact behind all the names except maybe the Lone Wolf one for Drake. I couldn't find any hehehe.

- Now that we're going to Auvernal, I think we'll find (paywalled) clues there that might tell us more about Eleanor. Those clues about her changed behaviour and physical condition must have been placed exactly here for a reason.

- Usually Chapters 9 or 10 have been chapters that dealt with some aspect of Constantine and his family (his abdication + news of his impending death in Book 1, discovery of his involvement in the conspiracy in Book 2, and his death in Book 3). So now would be the perfect time to discover the truth about Eleanor and her relationship with Constantine, and what was troubling her.

- One theory I have is that Eleanor's being slow-poisoned, and these may be symptoms of what she is having. @thefirstcourtesan mentioned that pregnancy could be a reason too, and it would be another connecting factor with the MC. One thing that I do feel a little certain about is that this trip to Texas may have been a little while before she died.

- How is it that the narrative has absolutely no memory of the fact that Leo was once heir to the throne? I can imagine him not being very close to Liam-Drake-Maxwell or being a teenager who didn't want to be around his father (esp if that father is acting the way Constantine does in these scenes)...but not even a reference? A mention? You have the time to draw an entire sprite of little Savannah who pretty much has very little to do with this part of the story (or any part of the overall story) but Leo isn't even mentioned? Sounds a little fishy to me.

- I possibly wouldn't have minded Savannah's complaining and lack of proactiveness with the Bertrand situation, if their entire storyline didn't revolve around her being this "perfect angel" Bertrand has to be worthy of, and Bertrand's mistakes repeatedly being pulled up while Savannah doesn't have to answer much for the occasions where she is irrational or hasn't made good decisions. What we're seeing now is just an extension of this particular storyline.

- You can tell that the original epilogue series was meant to revolve around the Walker Ranch coz whatever we're seeing here is probably way way more than we have seen of Cordonia so far. There are frantic attempts to tie this to the overall plotline, but within the larger picture it makes very little sense.

Like I hate the paparazzi in the series and even then I found myself agreeing when he pointed out that it was weird that half the Royal Council was roaming around Texas.

- Speaking of the Council I wonder what the other court ladies were doing while we were at the fair. Sleeping off those hangovers?

- There could be other childhood/flashback scenes coming up. We will need an adult perspective, so Bianca might get one. Olivia needs to be seen as important and relevant to the plot (plus Constantine was shitty to her too), so she will get one.

- I wonder why Bastien had such a loyalty and attachment to Queen Eleanor (as stated in Book 2 by Regina) if he actually wasn't that close to the royal couple then (Jackson seems to fulfill that role here). I'm pretty sure they're probably going to ignore/forget that little detail.

- Will Hana and Maxwell get flashback scenes? They should, and there are ways you could incorporate that even if they weren't involved as much. Maxwell's could (FINALLY) focus on what happened to his family fortunes and you could slip in a little something about the palace there. Hana's could focus on her family and also have Lorelai catch up on Cordonian news/talk to her Cordonian relatives. Liam needs a solo scene of his own too, because after this I'm pretty sure his life takes a turn for the worse. If Hana and Maxwell (but esp Hana) don't get one...that's going to be extremely disheartening because they deserve way more attention than what they're getting now. I'm sincerely hoping we see more of their childhood memories too.

- You know what I'm REALLY looking forward to? Writing TRR 1's Chapter 8 QT. I'm very fond of that chapter and have a whole bunch of points to make about it 😀

- Until the next chapter, everyone!

[sea-side-scribbles]

Doubled Back

Parallel Universe, Higgs vs Higgs, I have weird ideas sometimes...

Rating: M

Chapters 2/?

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21860554/chapters/52173571

Higgs shoots himself on the beach, so he won’t go insane.

What ensues from that makes him think it was already too late.

Chapter 1

Higgs had imagined the afterlife to be different, he immediately thought when the shot still echoed in his ears. He didn’t want to be insolent, but he didn’t expect to be lied down on a comfy mattress. He had reflexively curled his fingers into it when he had felt himself fall into the blackness. Soon after, he took his first breath after the shot and puzzled by that, he ripped his eyes open. It was revealed to him that he was indeed just lying in a bed, his heart pounding in his chest. 

He felt alive.

He jumped up and stared at the walls that surrounded him. He found that they looked very familiar. He walked over to a notice board and touched it’s cold surface. It felt very real. Still confused, he stepped backwards and let his gaze wander over the widespread network that occupied the whole room. Notes, photos, ripped out pages of books, all combined to one big picture, a sign of his former enthusiastic self. He saw his plan, his faith, screaming at him from the walls. „Amelie, my lord and savior“, was smeared in black all over it. 

He backed away, feeling he was about to choke on the sight. It was nothing but a shameless lie. Why was he back here to look at it? Did Amelie send him here to be embarrassed for one last time? There was only one way to deal with her precious altar of lies. 

With a war cry, he jumped at his old plans, ripped the pages apart, pulled out the cord that was holding them together and tore the photos apart. Soon, there was nothing left of his great plan than crumbled pieces of paper on the ground. He found that this was really fun, so he eagerly continued his work with smashing everything he could find against the walls. 

He grabbed a knife that had lied on the table and started to slice wildly creative patterns into everything he could reach. He ran the knife over every writing he found, until they were barely readable. Finally, he slashed the paddings of the furniture like a furious killer who was searching for his victim that hid in the room somewhere. 

The only picture he left intact was one flyer with Fragile’s banner on it, which he placed right in the middle of the shredded board. 

When he didn’t find anything more to destroy, he leaned at the door and looked at his work with a satisfied grin. Finally, he saw the truth. Now he had to get out of here though, his past still choked him. 

By then he knew that he was in his Homo Demens quarters, so he expected the two guards already who patrolled the corridor. They saluted nervously. They probably heard the noise his little endeavor had caused. One of them however had the courage to approach him, even though cautiously, like Higgs was a wild animal. 

„Master Higgs…“

„What?“ Higgs didn’t hide his annoyance. He only wanted to leave, this place was like a cord around his throat. 

„Forgive me asking but…don’t you…have a meeting now?

Higgs only stopped walking and kept looking straightforward. „The meeting is cancelled,“ he decided, „be a good boy and give the word, alright?“

„Yes, sir.“ And so he walked away and Higgs could continue his slow escape.

When the guard reached the meeting room and went inside, he came upon a big surprise. The assembly was complete and everyone seemed to listen to Higgs, who he had just interrupted in mid sentence.

„Master…Master Higgs? You…changed your mind?“, he stuttered into the awkward silence. He definitely didn’t appreciate this kind of humor. The look Higgs gave him also sent a cold shiver down his spine. 

„Would you excuse me just a minute?“, his master said and walked out, his devastated guard following him. 

„How long have you been my guard now?“, he asked sharply.

„For about five years, sir,“ his guard replied in a meek tone.

„And in all that time you didn’t notice how much I hate it to be interrupted?“

„You..you left me no choice, sir.“

He saw his master was slightly irritated by his guard’s candor.

„Explain,“ he ordered.

The guard assumed that this was some drill he didn’t understand yet.

„Just a minute ago you walked out of your quarters and told me that the meeting is cancelled and ordered me to give the word,“ he repeated what happened.

His master’s irritation turned into fury.

„I’ve been here for 20 minutes,“ he snapped. „You’re telling me that you let someone break into my room and let him go afterwards?“

„He…he looked exactly like you sir,“ the guard whimpered, still hoping this was some kind of cruel joke.

His master processed this information for a second before he yelled. „What are you waiting for? Seal the doors and find the man!“

Higgs was about to reach the entrance hall when he heard the alarm. With multiple loud crashes the doors got sealed and soon the room was flooded by Homo Demens that blocked the exit with their guns ready. Higgs watched this show with amusement and surprise. Without any fear, he approached the armed men.

„May I politely ask you what this fuss is about?“

Ruyther stepped forward. He was one of his most trusted men. A sign that this was a rather serious matter. „I apologize, but the order came directly from…Master Higgs,“ he said knitting his brows.

Higgs looked at him with an innocent expression.

„Oh, did it?“, he asked in fake surprise. „Don’t you think I should know about this then?“

Ruyther replied with a concerned expression. „It says we have an intruder, a doppelganger, to be precise.“

Higgs couldn’t believe his ears. What was that shit now?

„A doppelganger, eh?“, he repeated and stroked his chin seemingly deep in thoughts. „Hmm…I  wonder what gave him this idea? I hope he’s not completely unguarded now and walking around in our headquarters…“

„Of course not,“ the other man said in a factual tone. „He’s just as guarded as you are, but also a whole unity has confirmed his identity.“

„What?“, Higgs blurted out. „You can’t be fucking serious! I’m here! Ruyther, it’s me! Look at me!“

Ruyther eyed the other man’s face under the hood for a while until he answered: „You’re looking…different to me, sir…“. 

That caused the men around him to tense.

„What do you mean?“ Higgs’ voice was menacingly quiet. He also fought the urge to take off the hood but he would never expose his face like that.

„You’re looking…a bit younger…“, his guard stuttered.

Higgs laughed. „Oh, thank you“, he said with a charming smile. „You always find an occasion to flatter me, don’t you? But now I need to go, if you don’t mind.“ 

He walked towards the men but he only ended up with seven guns now aiming at him directly. Holding up his hands in fake surrender he stepped backwards again. „Aren’t you guys on edge today?,“ he snapped.

„You don’t seem to be very interested in that intruder…“, Ruyther observed warily.

Higgs sighted and wiped his forehead. 

He knew Ruyther had a point. He would be eager to find this impertinent imposter if he wasn’t actually dead. He just shot himself minutes ago, he found that was enough shit to deal with for one day.

„I’m busy…“, he said in annoyance, „just arrest him, ask him who he’s working for and do your usual routine…I’ll be back soon.“ 

His guard didn’t give up. 

„Sir, you need to give us a sign. A short demonstration of your powers would be enough,“ he offered sternly and his men shrank behind him. His powers were the last thing any of the Homo Demens wanted to be demonstrated. Especially not when Higgs was in a bad mood like now.

Higgs however realized what he had been missing the entire time. Ever since the beach, to be clear. When Amelie left him, she had taken her powers with her, so Higgs had been powerless when Fragile granted him the opportunity to kill himself and he was still powerless now. He closed his eyes, a reaction to compensate his embarrassment. If he ever met that bitch Amelie again, he would drown her in her own ocean. 

But he wouldn’t let her break him this time. He would play along as far as necessary but he won’t be her pawn.

The guards that had stared at Higgs in horror relaxed again when he opened his eyes and nothing bad happened. 

„Alright, you got me,“ he sighted. „Let’s look at my imposter with his incredible powers. Can’t wait to meet him.“

„I’m sorry for all of this,“ Ruyther said in all honesty. 

Higgs eyed him and his sarcasm turned into sympathy.

„It’s not your fault…you’re just being careful…“

He turned around and let himself be walked off along the hallways. He didn’t look forward to this at all. He was afraid to be exposed by some tar wizard, some level 2 or 3 who could summon little tar drops and faint shadows that looked like a BT for someone who had no clue what they really looked like. And Higgs couldn’t prove him wrong. What a shitty day.

He was glad that the imposter was at least indeed guarded. His office now was crowded with Demens who gathered around the guy. What Higgs didn’t notice was that all of them stared at him in surprise and then looked back at the other one who stood by the desk, trying to find a difference between them. When Higgs saw that the imposter was standing by his desk like he owned this place and was also turning his back on him he rolled his eyes. He noticed that he was wearing an actually very accurate remake of his own outfit too.

„You’ve been very impolite,“ the imposter greeted him with a voice that sounded alarmingly similar to Higgs’, maybe darker. „You didn’t even introduce yourself. Instead you invaded my private quarters and made quite a mess in them. You also seem to be not very intelligent, because you left a sign of who supposedly sent you quite plain to see. Tell me, what am I supposed to do with you?“

„Turn around, you clown, and show me your face,“ Higgs snarled back.

The room fell silent. Everyone seemed to fear the reaction of the guy by the desk.

„Again you’re impolite,“ he stated, shaking his head. „I don’t tolerate this behavior. Sherkoff, teach him.“ He gave a sign and one man stepped forward and approached Higgs with a sternly look.

Higgs straightened himself and followed the man with his eyes. Another one who had known him for years and didn’t recognize him now. The other man held the gaze, even though he saw into the same eyes his master had. 

„Are we doing this?“, Higgs asked defiantly but also with curiosity.

The slap he received was much weaker than the man could manage.

„I know you can do better than that,“ the imposter promptly said.

Higgs now looked rather amused. He had never wished to be slapped by his men but he could appreciate a good comedy. When the man hesitated again, Higgs whispered to him in a friendly way. „C’mon, just do it, we don’t want to make this guy mad, don’t we?“ He winked and tilted his head to the side. „I’ve been veeery impolite.“

The next slap jerked his head to the side and he fell heavy into the arms of the guards behind him.

„Good,“ said the voice by the desk. „Now one more time, just to make sure he gets the message.“

Higgs chuckled, even though his face burned. He lifted himself up and offered the other cheek without protest. The third slap sent him flying to the other side. Struggling up, he saw Sherkoff walk away. His punishment was over.

„I give you a second chance to change your tone, intruder. Just try to mind your words this time. I understand that you’re rather - simple minded.“

Higgs shook his head at that insult. This guy had some nerves. But he had made the message quite clear. His men obeyed him for whatever reason and he had no powers. Time to play along then.

„I…thank you for your patience“, Higgs sounded as submissive as he could while trying not to choke at his words. „Please accept my apologies and let me show you my respect by falling on my knees before you.“

„That’s much better…however your offer means that my men have to release you. I hope that you won’t try anything funny out of your mere simplicity. I’d rather not hurt you more.“

„I won’t try anything, sir,“ Higgs pleaded with a clear innocent voice.

The imposter gave a sign and the guards let go off Higgs, who just as promised sank down on his knees and bowed his head.

Finally, the imposter turned around and came closer.

„See, it’s not that hard to teach even the most stubborn specimen some manners. It only takes patience and a strong hand…“ He concentrated his attention to his men for a second and that was all the time Higgs needed to strike. The knife that once had carved his walls now sliced through the thick material of the other man’s suit. Warm blood sprayed out of it and covered Higgs in bright red drops when he led the knife from the bottom to the top up to the imposter’s chest. Soon, his eyes wandered to the other man’s face and the sight made him cry out it shock.

He saw himself, with distorted features, dead eyes staring into his own, his body slashed and bleeding out. When the body hit the ground he realized he had just killed himself once more.